{"id":302345,"date":"2011-08-19T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-08-19T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/kids-play-predators-play\/"},"modified":"2011-08-19T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-08-19T15:00:00","slug":"kids-play-predators-play","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/kids-play-predators-play\/","title":{"rendered":"Kids Play, Predators Play"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Users beware.  That\u2019s the warning label that Internet safety expert Donna Rice Hughes wishes popped up each time a person logged on.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-08-19.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"20.83M","filesize_raw":"21836789","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2815],"tags":[2989,2320],"podcast_series":[7818],"cwp_profile":[9238],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302345","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sexual-wholeness","tag-pornography","tag-purity","podcast_series-internet-safety-101","cwp_profile-donna-rice-hughes","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302345\/kids-play-predators-play","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302345\/kids-play-predators-play","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Cu08FAmoQz\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/kids-play-predators-play\/\">Kids Play, Predators Play<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/kids-play-predators-play\/embed\/#?secret=Cu08FAmoQz\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Kids Play, Predators Play&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Cu08FAmoQz\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-08-19.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-08-19.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How much time do you let your kids spend online each day?\u00a0 Is there a limit?\u00a0 Are there ways they\u2019re getting online that you\u2019re not aware of? Here\u2019s Donna Rice Hughes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of parents don\u2019t realize that that XBox\u2122 or the Wii\u00ae, or whatever is actually just a mini-computer and will often give little Johnny the XBox for Christmas and let little Johnny hook it up.\u00a0 Little Johnny gives himself complete open internet access.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 19<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about how you protect a child from cyber-bullying, from predators, and from online pornography.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, when I first became aware of the web\u2014in fact, I remember, FamilyLife\u2014We went on the World Wide Web in 1996.\u00a0 I\u2019ll never forget the meeting that we were in where we made the presentation that we should have a website for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was slick, wasn\u2019t it?\u00a0 (laughing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It had a picture of your family at the top and some text underneath.\u00a0\u00a0 I remember after the presentation was over, the guy who had done the presentation\u2014he\u2019d left the room.\u00a0 One of the people on our leadership team said\u2014this is 1996, \u201cSo what exactly is the internet and who uses it anyway?\u201d\u00a0 At that point in time, that was not an unrealistic question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was a fair response.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right!\u00a0 Now back then it was all pretty much one way stuff.\u00a0 You went on; you looked at something; you logged off.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t interact with your computer; but boy, have things changed since those dark ages of 1996, 15 years ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We are no longer in Kansas, Toto!\u00a0 There is no doubt about it.\u00a0 With us to help navigate this new territory is Donna Rice Hughes.\u00a0 Donna, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 It\u2019s good to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Donna is the President and Chairman of Enough Is Enough, an internationally-known internet safety organization that trains parents and educators all around the world.\u00a0 Donna, your work is cut out for you.\u00a0 I want to talk about online predators, cyber-bullying, and online gaming, alright?\u00a0 So let\u2019s get into online predators.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely!\u00a0 Predators are using the internet.\u00a0 They\u2019re on the front-end of all the new technology, and they\u2019re well-ahead of law enforcement.\u00a0 They\u2019re ahead of parents; and predators prey where kids play, a very important rule of thumb to understand.\u00a0 Kids are online.\u00a0 Predators are going to be online, right?\u00a0 They\u2019ve got easy and anonymous access to children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a sort of perfect storm that\u2019s happened on the internet with predators.\u00a0 Let me just preface this, however, that most child sexual abuse is occurring by someone that a child actually knows.\u00a0 It can even be a family member, but that does not mean that internet predation is not a very big and real problem.\u00a0 It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPredators have easy access to kids, but they also have easy access to child pornography.\u00a0 This has never happened before the internet.\u00a0 Predators had a really hard time getting child pornography through the mail services because the postal inspectors were really on top of this.\u00a0 Now, with the internet, you\u2019ve got all this new child pornography.\u00a0 It\u2019s easy to create child pornography.\u00a0 When a predator or pedophile abuses a child, immediately those images and videos go online and start being shared.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have another thing that has happened with the internet called virtual validation where predators congregate together and they share information about how to avoid law enforcement detection, new tricks in grooming children.\u00a0 They share their child pornography back and forth, and it actually validates that this behavior that they\u2019re doing is actually okay and acceptable.\u00a0 They really have fallen into this delusion that it\u2019s okay to have a sexual appetite for a child, and to abuse a child, and that kids really like this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think a lot of people have seen the TV show, where Chris Hansen on NBC will set up the hidden cameras and\u2014it looks like it\u2019s really easy and simple to draw out a predator.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s very simple.\u00a0 Some of these predators are actually on the internet a lot.\u00a0 They are still trolling for kids to abuse and use in the physical world, but also in the online world.\u00a0 They can be grooming many at a time, and we cover grooming in our predator section.\u00a0 This is a very important thing to understand.\u00a0 Predators don\u2019t typically come right out and say, \u201cHi.\u201d\u00a0 You know, \u201cI\u2019m Bill.\u00a0 I\u2019m 35, and I want to have a sexual relationship with you.\u201d\u00a0 Sometimes they will spend weeks, months, even a year, developing a trusting relationship with a child.\u00a0 We call that process grooming.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI interviewed a sexual predator who is serving time in prison now about how he did this, and the kinds of kids that were vulnerable, and the kinds that were not.\u00a0 We called him John Doe.\u00a0 He was a teacher, and actually was a believer, and got into the trap of hard- core adult porn and then fell into child pornography, then started getting interested in children, then started interacting with kids in chat rooms and instant messaging and then took that offline and got caught.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso, I interviewed a young girl, Alicia, who was abducted when she was 13.\u00a0 The man who groomed her she says, \u201cHe was my best friend.\u00a0 I could tell him anything,\u201d Alicia would tell us.\u00a0 She said, \u201cYou know, he just drew me away from everyone\u2014my parents, my friends, and everything else.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t wait to get online to interact with him.\u201d\u00a0 So once he began a sexual online relationship with her and finally revealed that he was an older man and what his true intentions were, she was already fully trapped in his grip.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis can be very difficult because the more common scenario with a predator, where a child would actually have an offline encounter\u2014be used by a predator in this way\u2014is where the kids go willingly because they often find or feel that they are in love or this person is a friend.\u00a0 So it\u2019s a very, very tricky situation. The abductions, they do happen; but they are not the norm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Donna, I think a lot of parents listening to you right now go, \u201cWell, where do they find our children?\u201d\u00a0 I mean, where on the internet are they trolling for these kids?\u00a0 When I was growing up, my mom would go with me to the playground.\u00a0 She always warned me about not taking gum from a stranger, not taking a ride from somebody I didn\u2019t know; but she was usually there.\u00a0 Now we have, in our homes, a portal that gives total strangers and, in the case you\u2019re talking about here, predators, access to our kids.\u00a0 Where do they find them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 They find them in a lot of places.\u00a0 It used to be that chat rooms and instant messaging were the two largest areas because they\u2019re very interactive there.\u00a0 In the old days, in the initial web if you will, we call it Web 1.0, we used to always say, \u201cDon\u2019t let your kids have a profile,\u201d you know, because all it takes is a screen name and a little bit of information and a predator could then start to selectively target the type of child that they\u2019re attracted to and find those that are vulnerable to online seduction.\u00a0 Now, you also have social networking sites and online gaming sites that are tools of the predator.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wanted to stop you there.\u00a0 Online gaming is a place where predators pick up these kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, absolutely!\u00a0 A lot of parents don\u2019t realize that that XBox, or the Wii, or whatever is actually just a mini-computer and they will oftentimes give little Johnny the XBox for Christmas and let little Johnny hook it up.\u00a0 Little Johnny gives himself complete open internet access.\u00a0 Big mistake.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are parental controls on these online gaming devices, and they have to be used.\u00a0 Where online gaming is quite unique, I think, particularly for predator use, is that they\u2019re actually playing a game so there is already camaraderie there.\u00a0 So it\u2019s easy to build a relationship.\u00a0 Then, there are headphones so you can hear other people playing the game with you.\u00a0 Then, if you engage the webcam, you can see the people that you are playing with.\u00a0 So now you\u2019ve got all these different senses going.\u00a0 So it really is\u2014you know\u2014again, it goes back to, \u201cWhere kids play, predators prey.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSocial networking sites as well because now kids are building their profiles and putting a lot of information up\u2014pictures and personal information\u2014so that it makes it very easy for a predator to pick and choose the kind of child that he\u2019s going to go after and then start to engage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you\u2019ve got, I don\u2019t\u2019 know what the number is, 500 million people on Facebook today?\u00a0 So you\u2019ve got all of these sites.\u00a0 I mean, I\u2019m on Facebook.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got my profile and I don\u2019t say a whole lot about myself in my profile; but this is where 13- and 14-year-olds live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 They do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re saying that this is the kind of place where a predator can just scan along and maybe get access to your profile?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 First of all, kids do feel that they are invincible, and I think that\u2019s really important. The thing is, kids are being taught typically to trust people and to trust adults.\u00a0 I mean, they are innocent.\u00a0 They are na\u00efve.\u00a0 So you combine all those things\u2014 so you can see how it would be very easy for a predator to come into a child\u2019s life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother thing to recognize about predators and pedophiles, they really like kids!\u00a0 They will take time with your child.\u00a0 One of the things that we teach in our programs, and it\u2019s something that a law enforcement officer told me:\u00a0 He says, \u201cRemember to tell you child that you love them because if you don\u2019t, someone else will.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlicia, in our program, says, \u201cLook, your kids are curious about sex once they hit about 10-, 11-, 12-, 13-years-old.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t start talking to them about their choices and healthy sexuality, someone else is not only going to tell them, they\u2019re going to show them.\u201d\u00a0 So, again, parents just need to realize there are some bad folks out there; and they are looking for your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, if you\u2019re sitting down with your 14-year-old daughter and you\u2019re saying, \u201cHoney, I\u2019m glad that you\u2019re on Facebook.\u00a0 That\u2019s fine.\u00a0 We\u2019re okay with that, but here are the things you need to make sure you do,\u201d or, \u201cHere\u2019s how to spot the wrong kind of thing.\u201d\u00a0 What kind of tips, what kind of rules, would you give to a Facebook user?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 First of all, the age limit is 13-years-old.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t mean that when your child turns 13, you let them on.\u00a0 I believe and encourage every parent before you let your child set up a Facebook profile or a MySpace profile, you go on and set up one yourself.\u00a0 You get to know the culture of that particular social networking site because they each have their own cultures.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou learn that and you go, \u201cOkay, can my child handle this?\u201d\u00a0 If you make the decision your child\u2019s going to be able to set up a Facebook account, you want to help them set it up.\u00a0 They need to understand that their privacy settings have got to be set to the most strict level so that you can\u2019t see a picture or anything with that privacy setting on.\u00a0 Help them, you know, understand what kinds of pictures would be appropriate; what kinds of pictures would not be appropriate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the real key.\u00a0 We talk about privacy and privacy settings.\u00a0 There\u2019s really no true privacy because, even in a private Facebook profile, anyone that\u2019s in that friend\u2019s space that you know, can take that material and cut and paste it and put it someplace public.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, there was a young girl, a teenager, I was interviewing in our program and her dad.\u00a0 She said she had never put a picture up on her MySpace page, I think she said; but that some of her friends had put pictures of her up.\u00a0 Well, you should have seen the look on her father\u2019s face.\u00a0 He had no idea.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo it\u2019s not only important for parents to be monitoring their children\u2019s social networking sites and also their gaming profiles, because you set up a gaming profile too, but to see what their friends are saying and posting about them.\u00a0 This is where community really becomes important for parents.\u00a0 Get to know your child\u2019s friends and your child\u2019s friend\u2019s parents so that together you can look to see what they\u2019re doing and make sure they\u2019re being safe.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the other things is to tell you child to think before they post.\u00a0 There\u2019s no take backs.\u00a0 Something goes on line, it\u2019s there forever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 We had a guest on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> a number of years ago.\u00a0 He was the father of a little girl who was preyed upon by a man from San Diego, who travelled back to Arkansas, ultimately abducted her, and murdered her.\u00a0 We played that broadcast on <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> along with interviews with the FBI.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn a speaking engagement, Donna, on my way out the door, I just had the sense that I needed to take that broadcast with me.\u00a0 At the speaking engagement, I ran into a guy and I said, \u201cYou know, why don\u2019t you listen to this with your family?\u201d\u00a0 He had two daughters, one about 13, the other 16.\u00a0 They listened to that series of broadcasts about this little girl, Casey Woody, who was 13-years-old when she was abducted.\u00a0 As a result of that, the 16-year-old saw her 13-year-old sister interacting on the internet with someone she didn\u2019t know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it turns out she was being groomed. They had to set up some avenues of protection to protect her as she went to school.\u00a0 That guy was up to no good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So a part of what you can do for your family is call family members to look out for one another in the midst of all these temptations that are occurring.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me ask you about cyber-bullying because I\u2019ve heard that phrase; and honestly, it just sounds like, \u201cOkay, so somebody comes on line and says means things about you.\u201d\u00a0 I go, \u201cOkay, get over it.\u201d\u00a0 Is there more to cyber-bullying than just people saying mean things about you on the internet?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, there is a lot to cyber-bullying.\u00a0 I would say that it is epidemic.\u00a0 The latest statistic is about 43 percent of young people say they have been cyber-bullied.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s really growing.\u00a0 The problem with cyber-bullying, as opposed to just bullying on the playground as we used to know it, is that it\u2019s 24\/7.\u00a0 Because the kids\u2019 cyber-lives and their physical lives have really merged, they\u2019re really one.\u00a0 They often can\u2019t really separate the cyber world from the physical world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo now, If you have a bullying situation, it\u2019s following that child 24\/7; and it can be relentless.\u00a0 The other thing is it can go viral very, very fast.\u00a0 It used to be somebody writes something bad about somebody on the bathroom wall, well you can go clean it off.\u00a0 You can scrub it off.\u00a0 But if you have a gossip situation, that can go viral across a whole school, a whole county, a whole state, just in a matter of an hour!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Can you give an example of a cyber-bullying scenario that has been something that has been harmful for a teenager?\u00a0 Or not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, yes.\u00a0 One of the stories that we tell in our program:\u00a0 A mother tells the story of a cyber-bullying situation where her boy and another boy, who was more of the instigator, actually stood up on a toilet in the stalls at the bathroom at school and took pictures of another little boy going to the bathroom in the other stall.\u00a0 Then they spread that all across their school.\u00a0 It was just devastating, of course, to the little boy whose picture\u2014his privacy had been invaded\u2014and her son and the other boy were expelled.\u00a0 So that\u2019s just one simple case.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve seen so many instances of suicides because these kids feel hopeless.\u00a0 They don\u2019t necessarily think they can ever get beyond this and that their lives have been destroyed.\u00a0 So there\u2019s just anything you can think of creatively\u2014a way that you could abuse the technology and hurt somebody\u2014kids are thinking of these things, and they\u2019re doing it to each other.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are a lot of signs to be aware of.\u00a0 One of them is:\u00a0 If your kid loves the technology, and then they start avoiding the technology.\u00a0 That\u2019s a really big, big red flag that there could be some cyber-bullying going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can destroy another person\u2019s reputation online.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean there were a number of teenagers at a prominent school on the east coast that a couple of months ago, they were spreading rumors that a number of girls were promiscuous and it simply wasn\u2019t true; but they destroyed those girls\u2019 reputations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want us to take just a couple of minutes, Donna, to talk about online gaming and the dangers and what parents can do to protect their kids from that temptation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re talking about things like <em>World of Warcraft\u00a9<\/em> and the role-playing games that, I mean, some kids will go hours and hours in these games.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just the online gaming world itself is its own culture.\u00a0 Kids love this.\u00a0 It\u2019s not just a guy-thing.\u00a0 It\u2019s also a girl-thing.\u00a0 One of the psychologists that we interviewed on our program talked about the fact that almost all of the boys she had seen in her practice for pornography addiction had all had a long history of gaming use because there\u2019s a lot of cross marketing between online gaming and pornography.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got an eight-year-old boy talking about playing something on <em>Nickelodeon<\/em> \u00ae, and he\u2019s seeing pop-ups of naked girls.\u00a0 There was this little boy talking about this.\u00a0 So you\u2019ve got those kinds of issues.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve also got just the addictive nature sometimes of the games and the violence, which is a whole other thing.\u00a0 With the predation, you know, predators\u2014they have got a really easy foot in the door.\u00a0 The good news is that, just like any other technology, parents need to manage it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe same thing goes with texts and instant messaging and that kind of thing.\u00a0 That\u2019s really important because kids are pressing the envelope in everything else, especially on social networking sites.\u00a0 They\u2019re being edgy, there\u2019s a lot of peer pressure and that kind of thing.\u00a0 They can create their own profile one week and it can look very different the next week because they\u2019ll try on something else.\u00a0 They will try on something new.\u00a0 It\u2019s like a yearbook on steroids, you know.\u00a0 It can change and constantly be pushing the envelope, but parents can really work with their kids so that they\u2019re using the technology safely and not getting into these troubled areas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 At the end of the day, we can train, and equip, and have filters, and go through material like this, but ultimately we\u2019re talking about influencing a child\u2019s heart and helping a child understand these temptations, understand the sinful nature of these temptations, and be discipling our kids.\u00a0 There will be a time when they\u2019ll be over at somebody else\u2019s house, or at the library, or they\u2019ll have access to the computer, they\u2019re going to go to college.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to get to the heart of the issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, as you were talking, Bob, I was thinking about the Book of Proverbs.\u00a0 It\u2019s a father instructing a son or, for that matter, a daughter, in what is wise and not being a fool, but being filled with wisdom.\u00a0 Spiritually-speaking, these are days when we need to be equipping our children to know how to say, \u201cNo\u201d; to know how to turn it off and talk about it with their mom or dad as they\u2019ve seen something that they didn\u2019t understand or something that appealed to their curiosity.\u00a0 Then, parents, as we\u2019ve talked about all this week, have got to be vigilant.\u00a0 They have to not only train their kids but they have to inspect what they expect.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna, I just appreciate you, your organization and what you are about. Thanks for hanging in there since 1994 and being a, really, a champion for protecting children and equipping parents.\u00a0 We really appreciate you and hope you\u2019ll come back and see us again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you so much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we appreciate, too, the resource that your team has put together, the <em>Internet Safety 101<\/em> resource, the DVD, and the workbook, and the \u201cRules and Tools\u201d booklet is very helpful.\u00a0 Of course, we\u2019ve got all of it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Folks can go online at FamilyLife Today.com for more information on how they can get the entire kit.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLook for the <em>Internet Safety 101<\/em> resource that you can use as a family, or use with other families, or use in your church, or use in your high school youth group at church; or just call us toll-free if you\u2019d like at 1-800-FLTODAY and ask about the <em>Internet Safety 101<\/em> resource.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com and our phone number is 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think most of listeners have heard me say at one time or another that <em>FamilyLife<\/em> <em>Today<\/em> is listener-supported, which means that the program is on the air because folks like you will, from time to time, go online and make a donation or call us and make a donation and help support the cost of syndicating and producing this daily radio program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, we have been hoping to hear from a number of new <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> donors, those of you who have listened for a while but have never made a donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Actually, we\u2019ve heard from a whole bunch of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners.\u00a0 We\u2019re keeping a thermometer on the website because we set a goal of trying to get to 2,000 of you who are making a first-time-ever donation to help support the ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve been making available this month to anyone who makes a donation CDs that feature six messages from a recent <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> \u00ae marriage getaway where Dennis Rainey and I spoke.\u00a0 We talked about communication, and conflict resolutions, and intimacy, and the best practices that make up a strong marriage relationship.\u00a0 Those CDs are being sent out to anybody who helps support the ministry this month.\u00a0 All you have to do is type the word \u201cSAMPLER\u201d into the key code box on the online donation form when you make a donation, or call 1-800-FLTODAY to make a donation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are making a donation for the first time and, if that donation is $100 or more, we want to invite you to type the \u201cHUNDRED\u201d into the key code box on the online donation form, and we\u2019ll send you a certificate so that you and your spouse can attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway when it comes to a city near where you live.\u00a0 The certificate will cover the registration costs for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.\u00a0 Or you can make your donation over the phone and just ask for a certificate for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, if you\u2019re a first-time donor, and it is $100 or more that you\u2019re able to give, feel free to request a copy of that certificate and then join us at an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say how much we appreciate your partnership with us here at <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> and we really consider us partners as you help support the cost of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 We hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend.\u00a0 We hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to explore the power of affirmation\u2014how the words we speak can really speak life into the soul of another person.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in as we have that conversation with Sam Crabtree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["20.83M"],"filesize_raw":["21836789"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302345.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302345.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px 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beware. That\u2019s the warning label that Internet safety expert Donna Rice Hughes wishes popped up each time a person logged on.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-08-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How much time do you let your kids spend online each day?\u00a0 Is there a limit?\u00a0 Are there ways they\u2019re getting online that you\u2019re not aware of? Here\u2019s Donna Rice Hughes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of parents don\u2019t realize that that XBox\u2122 or the Wii\u00ae, or whatever is actually just a mini-computer and will often give little Johnny the XBox for Christmas and let little Johnny hook it up.\u00a0 Little Johnny gives himself complete open internet access.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 19<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about how you protect a child from cyber-bullying, from predators, and from online pornography.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, when I first became aware of the web\u2014in fact, I remember, FamilyLife\u2014We went on the World Wide Web in 1996.\u00a0 I\u2019ll never forget the meeting that we were in where we made the presentation that we should have a website for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was slick, wasn\u2019t it?\u00a0 (laughing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It had a picture of your family at the top and some text underneath.\u00a0\u00a0 I remember after the presentation was over, the guy who had done the presentation\u2014he\u2019d left the room.\u00a0 One of the people on our leadership team said\u2014this is 1996, \u201cSo what exactly is the internet and who uses it anyway?\u201d\u00a0 At that point in time, that was not an unrealistic question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was a fair response.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right!\u00a0 Now back then it was all pretty much one way stuff.\u00a0 You went on; you looked at something; you logged off.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t interact with your computer; but boy, have things changed since those dark ages of 1996, 15 years ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We are no longer in Kansas, Toto!\u00a0 There is no doubt about it.\u00a0 With us to help navigate this new territory is Donna Rice Hughes.\u00a0 Donna, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 It\u2019s good to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Donna is the President and Chairman of Enough Is Enough, an internationally-known internet safety organization that trains parents and educators all around the world.\u00a0 Donna, your work is cut out for you.\u00a0 I want to talk about online predators, cyber-bullying, and online gaming, alright?\u00a0 So let\u2019s get into online predators.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely!\u00a0 Predators are using the internet.\u00a0 They\u2019re on the front-end of all the new technology, and they\u2019re well-ahead of law enforcement.\u00a0 They\u2019re ahead of parents; and predators prey where kids play, a very important rule of thumb to understand.\u00a0 Kids are online.\u00a0 Predators are going to be online, right?\u00a0 They\u2019ve got easy and anonymous access to children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a sort of perfect storm that\u2019s happened on the internet with predators.\u00a0 Let me just preface this, however, that most child sexual abuse is occurring by someone that a child actually knows.\u00a0 It can even be a family member, but that does not mean that internet predation is not a very big and real problem.\u00a0 It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPredators have easy access to kids, but they also have easy access to child pornography.\u00a0 This has never happened before the internet.\u00a0 Predators had a really hard time getting child pornography through the mail services because the postal inspectors were really on top of this.\u00a0 Now, with the internet, you\u2019ve got all this new child pornography.\u00a0 It\u2019s easy to create child pornography.\u00a0 When a predator or pedophile abuses a child, immediately those images and videos go online and start being shared.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have another thing that has happened with the internet called virtual validation where predators congregate together and they share information about how to avoid law enforcement detection, new tricks in grooming children.\u00a0 They share their child pornography back and forth, and it actually validates that this behavior that they\u2019re doing is actually okay and acceptable.\u00a0 They really have fallen into this delusion that it\u2019s okay to have a sexual appetite for a child, and to abuse a child, and that kids really like this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think a lot of people have seen the TV show, where Chris Hansen on NBC will set up the hidden cameras and\u2014it looks like it\u2019s really easy and simple to draw out a predator.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s very simple.\u00a0 Some of these predators are actually on the internet a lot.\u00a0 They are still trolling for kids to abuse and use in the physical world, but also in the online world.\u00a0 They can be grooming many at a time, and we cover grooming in our predator section.\u00a0 This is a very important thing to understand.\u00a0 Predators don\u2019t typically come right out and say, \u201cHi.\u201d\u00a0 You know, \u201cI\u2019m Bill.\u00a0 I\u2019m 35, and I want to have a sexual relationship with you.\u201d\u00a0 Sometimes they will spend weeks, months, even a year, developing a trusting relationship with a child.\u00a0 We call that process grooming.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI interviewed a sexual predator who is serving time in prison now about how he did this, and the kinds of kids that were vulnerable, and the kinds that were not.\u00a0 We called him John Doe.\u00a0 He was a teacher, and actually was a believer, and got into the trap of hard- core adult porn and then fell into child pornography, then started getting interested in children, then started interacting with kids in chat rooms and instant messaging and then took that offline and got caught.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso, I interviewed a young girl, Alicia, who was abducted when she was 13.\u00a0 The man who groomed her she says, \u201cHe was my best friend.\u00a0 I could tell him anything,\u201d Alicia would tell us.\u00a0 She said, \u201cYou know, he just drew me away from everyone\u2014my parents, my friends, and everything else.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t wait to get online to interact with him.\u201d\u00a0 So once he began a sexual online relationship with her and finally revealed that he was an older man and what his true intentions were, she was already fully trapped in his grip.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis can be very difficult because the more common scenario with a predator, where a child would actually have an offline encounter\u2014be used by a predator in this way\u2014is where the kids go willingly because they often find or feel that they are in love or this person is a friend.\u00a0 So it\u2019s a very, very tricky situation. The abductions, they do happen; but they are not the norm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Donna, I think a lot of parents listening to you right now go, \u201cWell, where do they find our children?\u201d\u00a0 I mean, where on the internet are they trolling for these kids?\u00a0 When I was growing up, my mom would go with me to the playground.\u00a0 She always warned me about not taking gum from a stranger, not taking a ride from somebody I didn\u2019t know; but she was usually there.\u00a0 Now we have, in our homes, a portal that gives total strangers and, in the case you\u2019re talking about here, predators, access to our kids.\u00a0 Where do they find them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 They find them in a lot of places.\u00a0 It used to be that chat rooms and instant messaging were the two largest areas because they\u2019re very interactive there.\u00a0 In the old days, in the initial web if you will, we call it Web 1.0, we used to always say, \u201cDon\u2019t let your kids have a profile,\u201d you know, because all it takes is a screen name and a little bit of information and a predator could then start to selectively target the type of child that they\u2019re attracted to and find those that are vulnerable to online seduction.\u00a0 Now, you also have social networking sites and online gaming sites that are tools of the predator.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wanted to stop you there.\u00a0 Online gaming is a place where predators pick up these kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, absolutely!\u00a0 A lot of parents don\u2019t realize that that XBox, or the Wii, or whatever is actually just a mini-computer and they will oftentimes give little Johnny the XBox for Christmas and let little Johnny hook it up.\u00a0 Little Johnny gives himself complete open internet access.\u00a0 Big mistake.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are parental controls on these online gaming devices, and they have to be used.\u00a0 Where online gaming is quite unique, I think, particularly for predator use, is that they\u2019re actually playing a game so there is already camaraderie there.\u00a0 So it\u2019s easy to build a relationship.\u00a0 Then, there are headphones so you can hear other people playing the game with you.\u00a0 Then, if you engage the webcam, you can see the people that you are playing with.\u00a0 So now you\u2019ve got all these different senses going.\u00a0 So it really is\u2014you know\u2014again, it goes back to, \u201cWhere kids play, predators prey.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSocial networking sites as well because now kids are building their profiles and putting a lot of information up\u2014pictures and personal information\u2014so that it makes it very easy for a predator to pick and choose the kind of child that he\u2019s going to go after and then start to engage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you\u2019ve got, I don\u2019t\u2019 know what the number is, 500 million people on Facebook today?\u00a0 So you\u2019ve got all of these sites.\u00a0 I mean, I\u2019m on Facebook.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got my profile and I don\u2019t say a whole lot about myself in my profile; but this is where 13- and 14-year-olds live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 They do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re saying that this is the kind of place where a predator can just scan along and maybe get access to your profile?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 First of all, kids do feel that they are invincible, and I think that\u2019s really important. The thing is, kids are being taught typically to trust people and to trust adults.\u00a0 I mean, they are innocent.\u00a0 They are na\u00efve.\u00a0 So you combine all those things\u2014 so you can see how it would be very easy for a predator to come into a child\u2019s life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother thing to recognize about predators and pedophiles, they really like kids!\u00a0 They will take time with your child.\u00a0 One of the things that we teach in our programs, and it\u2019s something that a law enforcement officer told me:\u00a0 He says, \u201cRemember to tell you child that you love them because if you don\u2019t, someone else will.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlicia, in our program, says, \u201cLook, your kids are curious about sex once they hit about 10-, 11-, 12-, 13-years-old.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t start talking to them about their choices and healthy sexuality, someone else is not only going to tell them, they\u2019re going to show them.\u201d\u00a0 So, again, parents just need to realize there are some bad folks out there; and they are looking for your kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, if you\u2019re sitting down with your 14-year-old daughter and you\u2019re saying, \u201cHoney, I\u2019m glad that you\u2019re on Facebook.\u00a0 That\u2019s fine.\u00a0 We\u2019re okay with that, but here are the things you need to make sure you do,\u201d or, \u201cHere\u2019s how to spot the wrong kind of thing.\u201d\u00a0 What kind of tips, what kind of rules, would you give to a Facebook user?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 First of all, the age limit is 13-years-old.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t mean that when your child turns 13, you let them on.\u00a0 I believe and encourage every parent before you let your child set up a Facebook profile or a MySpace profile, you go on and set up one yourself.\u00a0 You get to know the culture of that particular social networking site because they each have their own cultures.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou learn that and you go, \u201cOkay, can my child handle this?\u201d\u00a0 If you make the decision your child\u2019s going to be able to set up a Facebook account, you want to help them set it up.\u00a0 They need to understand that their privacy settings have got to be set to the most strict level so that you can\u2019t see a picture or anything with that privacy setting on.\u00a0 Help them, you know, understand what kinds of pictures would be appropriate; what kinds of pictures would not be appropriate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the real key.\u00a0 We talk about privacy and privacy settings.\u00a0 There\u2019s really no true privacy because, even in a private Facebook profile, anyone that\u2019s in that friend\u2019s space that you know, can take that material and cut and paste it and put it someplace public.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, there was a young girl, a teenager, I was interviewing in our program and her dad.\u00a0 She said she had never put a picture up on her MySpace page, I think she said; but that some of her friends had put pictures of her up.\u00a0 Well, you should have seen the look on her father\u2019s face.\u00a0 He had no idea.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo it\u2019s not only important for parents to be monitoring their children\u2019s social networking sites and also their gaming profiles, because you set up a gaming profile too, but to see what their friends are saying and posting about them.\u00a0 This is where community really becomes important for parents.\u00a0 Get to know your child\u2019s friends and your child\u2019s friend\u2019s parents so that together you can look to see what they\u2019re doing and make sure they\u2019re being safe.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the other things is to tell you child to think before they post.\u00a0 There\u2019s no take backs.\u00a0 Something goes on line, it\u2019s there forever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 We had a guest on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> a number of years ago.\u00a0 He was the father of a little girl who was preyed upon by a man from San Diego, who travelled back to Arkansas, ultimately abducted her, and murdered her.\u00a0 We played that broadcast on <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> along with interviews with the FBI.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn a speaking engagement, Donna, on my way out the door, I just had the sense that I needed to take that broadcast with me.\u00a0 At the speaking engagement, I ran into a guy and I said, \u201cYou know, why don\u2019t you listen to this with your family?\u201d\u00a0 He had two daughters, one about 13, the other 16.\u00a0 They listened to that series of broadcasts about this little girl, Casey Woody, who was 13-years-old when she was abducted.\u00a0 As a result of that, the 16-year-old saw her 13-year-old sister interacting on the internet with someone she didn\u2019t know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it turns out she was being groomed. They had to set up some avenues of protection to protect her as she went to school.\u00a0 That guy was up to no good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So a part of what you can do for your family is call family members to look out for one another in the midst of all these temptations that are occurring.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me ask you about cyber-bullying because I\u2019ve heard that phrase; and honestly, it just sounds like, \u201cOkay, so somebody comes on line and says means things about you.\u201d\u00a0 I go, \u201cOkay, get over it.\u201d\u00a0 Is there more to cyber-bullying than just people saying mean things about you on the internet?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, there is a lot to cyber-bullying.\u00a0 I would say that it is epidemic.\u00a0 The latest statistic is about 43 percent of young people say they have been cyber-bullied.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s really growing.\u00a0 The problem with cyber-bullying, as opposed to just bullying on the playground as we used to know it, is that it\u2019s 24\/7.\u00a0 Because the kids\u2019 cyber-lives and their physical lives have really merged, they\u2019re really one.\u00a0 They often can\u2019t really separate the cyber world from the physical world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo now, If you have a bullying situation, it\u2019s following that child 24\/7; and it can be relentless.\u00a0 The other thing is it can go viral very, very fast.\u00a0 It used to be somebody writes something bad about somebody on the bathroom wall, well you can go clean it off.\u00a0 You can scrub it off.\u00a0 But if you have a gossip situation, that can go viral across a whole school, a whole county, a whole state, just in a matter of an hour!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Can you give an example of a cyber-bullying scenario that has been something that has been harmful for a teenager?\u00a0 Or not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, yes.\u00a0 One of the stories that we tell in our program:\u00a0 A mother tells the story of a cyber-bullying situation where her boy and another boy, who was more of the instigator, actually stood up on a toilet in the stalls at the bathroom at school and took pictures of another little boy going to the bathroom in the other stall.\u00a0 Then they spread that all across their school.\u00a0 It was just devastating, of course, to the little boy whose picture\u2014his privacy had been invaded\u2014and her son and the other boy were expelled.\u00a0 So that\u2019s just one simple case.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve seen so many instances of suicides because these kids feel hopeless.\u00a0 They don\u2019t necessarily think they can ever get beyond this and that their lives have been destroyed.\u00a0 So there\u2019s just anything you can think of creatively\u2014a way that you could abuse the technology and hurt somebody\u2014kids are thinking of these things, and they\u2019re doing it to each other.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are a lot of signs to be aware of.\u00a0 One of them is:\u00a0 If your kid loves the technology, and then they start avoiding the technology.\u00a0 That\u2019s a really big, big red flag that there could be some cyber-bullying going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can destroy another person\u2019s reputation online.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean there were a number of teenagers at a prominent school on the east coast that a couple of months ago, they were spreading rumors that a number of girls were promiscuous and it simply wasn\u2019t true; but they destroyed those girls\u2019 reputations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want us to take just a couple of minutes, Donna, to talk about online gaming and the dangers and what parents can do to protect their kids from that temptation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re talking about things like <em>World of Warcraft\u00a9<\/em> and the role-playing games that, I mean, some kids will go hours and hours in these games.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just the online gaming world itself is its own culture.\u00a0 Kids love this.\u00a0 It\u2019s not just a guy-thing.\u00a0 It\u2019s also a girl-thing.\u00a0 One of the psychologists that we interviewed on our program talked about the fact that almost all of the boys she had seen in her practice for pornography addiction had all had a long history of gaming use because there\u2019s a lot of cross marketing between online gaming and pornography.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got an eight-year-old boy talking about playing something on <em>Nickelodeon<\/em> \u00ae, and he\u2019s seeing pop-ups of naked girls.\u00a0 There was this little boy talking about this.\u00a0 So you\u2019ve got those kinds of issues.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve also got just the addictive nature sometimes of the games and the violence, which is a whole other thing.\u00a0 With the predation, you know, predators\u2014they have got a really easy foot in the door.\u00a0 The good news is that, just like any other technology, parents need to manage it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe same thing goes with texts and instant messaging and that kind of thing.\u00a0 That\u2019s really important because kids are pressing the envelope in everything else, especially on social networking sites.\u00a0 They\u2019re being edgy, there\u2019s a lot of peer pressure and that kind of thing.\u00a0 They can create their own profile one week and it can look very different the next week because they\u2019ll try on something else.\u00a0 They will try on something new.\u00a0 It\u2019s like a yearbook on steroids, you know.\u00a0 It can change and constantly be pushing the envelope, but parents can really work with their kids so that they\u2019re using the technology safely and not getting into these troubled areas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 At the end of the day, we can train, and equip, and have filters, and go through material like this, but ultimately we\u2019re talking about influencing a child\u2019s heart and helping a child understand these temptations, understand the sinful nature of these temptations, and be discipling our kids.\u00a0 There will be a time when they\u2019ll be over at somebody else\u2019s house, or at the library, or they\u2019ll have access to the computer, they\u2019re going to go to college.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to get to the heart of the issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, as you were talking, Bob, I was thinking about the Book of Proverbs.\u00a0 It\u2019s a father instructing a son or, for that matter, a daughter, in what is wise and not being a fool, but being filled with wisdom.\u00a0 Spiritually-speaking, these are days when we need to be equipping our children to know how to say, \u201cNo\u201d; to know how to turn it off and talk about it with their mom or dad as they\u2019ve seen something that they didn\u2019t understand or something that appealed to their curiosity.\u00a0 Then, parents, as we\u2019ve talked about all this week, have got to be vigilant.\u00a0 They have to not only train their kids but they have to inspect what they expect.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDonna, I just appreciate you, your organization and what you are about. Thanks for hanging in there since 1994 and being a, really, a champion for protecting children and equipping parents.\u00a0 We really appreciate you and hope you\u2019ll come back and see us again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Donna:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you so much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we appreciate, too, the resource that your team has put together, the <em>Internet Safety 101<\/em> resource, the DVD, and the workbook, and the \u201cRules and Tools\u201d booklet is very helpful.\u00a0 Of course, we\u2019ve got all of it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Folks can go online at FamilyLife Today.com for more information on how they can get the entire kit.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLook for the <em>Internet Safety 101<\/em> resource that you can use as a family, or use with other families, or use in your church, or use in your high school youth group at church; or just call us toll-free if you\u2019d like at 1-800-FLTODAY and ask about the <em>Internet Safety 101<\/em> resource.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com and our phone number is 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think most of listeners have heard me say at one time or another that <em>FamilyLife<\/em> <em>Today<\/em> is listener-supported, which means that the program is on the air because folks like you will, from time to time, go online and make a donation or call us and make a donation and help support the cost of syndicating and producing this daily radio program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, we have been hoping to hear from a number of new <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> donors, those of you who have listened for a while but have never made a donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Actually, we\u2019ve heard from a whole bunch of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners.\u00a0 We\u2019re keeping a thermometer on the website because we set a goal of trying to get to 2,000 of you who are making a first-time-ever donation to help support the ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve been making available this month to anyone who makes a donation CDs that feature six messages from a recent <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> \u00ae marriage getaway where Dennis Rainey and I spoke.\u00a0 We talked about communication, and conflict resolutions, and intimacy, and the best practices that make up a strong marriage relationship.\u00a0 Those CDs are being sent out to anybody who helps support the ministry this month.\u00a0 All you have to do is type the word \u201cSAMPLER\u201d into the key code box on the online donation form when you make a donation, or call 1-800-FLTODAY to make a donation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are making a donation for the first time and, if that donation is $100 or more, we want to invite you to type the \u201cHUNDRED\u201d into the key code box on the online donation form, and we\u2019ll send you a certificate so that you and your spouse can attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway when it comes to a city near where you live.\u00a0 The certificate will cover the registration costs for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.\u00a0 Or you can make your donation over the phone and just ask for a certificate for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, if you\u2019re a first-time donor, and it is $100 or more that you\u2019re able to give, feel free to request a copy of that certificate and then join us at an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say how much we appreciate your partnership with us here at <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> and we really consider us partners as you help support the cost of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 We hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend.\u00a0 We hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to explore the power of affirmation\u2014how the words we speak can really speak life into the soul of another person.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in as we have that conversation with Sam Crabtree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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