{"id":302321,"date":"2011-07-25T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-07-25T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/resolving-conflict-part-1\/"},"modified":"2011-07-25T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-07-25T15:00:00","slug":"resolving-conflict-part-1","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/resolving-conflict-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Resolving Conflict, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When a couple experiences conflict in their marriage, how they resolve that conflict affects more than just the marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-07-25.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"20.88M","filesize_raw":"21891314","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2902],"tags":[4927,4527,2877],"podcast_series":[7813],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302321","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-resolving-conflict","tag-challenges","tag-communication","tag-marriage","podcast_series-weekend-to-remember-getaway-sampler","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302321\/resolving-conflict-part-1","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302321\/resolving-conflict-part-1","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"xNFNLANVf9\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/resolving-conflict-part-1\/\">Resolving Conflict, Part 1<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/resolving-conflict-part-1\/embed\/#?secret=xNFNLANVf9\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Resolving Conflict, Part 1&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"xNFNLANVf9\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"When a couple experiences conflict in their marriage, how they resolve that conflict affects more than just the marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-07-25.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0It was $15, but we got the tape.\u00a0 It was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But we had an engineer, too, with that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We did.\u00a0 We got the\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think Keith charges us more than that.\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s the thing, Bob.\u00a0 We called the place \u201cBethlehem.\u201d\u00a0 I just have to, for a moment, just give God thanksgiving because from humble circumstances can come great beginnings.\u00a0 Out of that broadcast, we\u2019ve had the privilege of coming to our listeners, now, for coming up on 19 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, getting close to kicking off our 19th year.\u00a0 It has been a privilege to be able to come into your kitchen, your car, your place of work (wherever you are listening to <em>FamilyLife Today)<\/em>, your <em>iPhone<\/em>\u00ae, or on the computer.\u00a0 It is our privilege to do that; so, when we share these stories, we\u2019re trying to encourage you on your own journey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I\u2019m going back to the very first program.\u00a0 You shared about a recent squabble, quibble.\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember whether it was a squabble or a quibble\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Quarrel.\u00a0 It was a quarrel.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that you and Barbara had had.\u00a0 We got to the end of the program after the taping was all done; and I said, \u201cDo you really want to share with the whole nationwide, listening audience about conflict?\u201d\u00a0 This was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This was your experience with Christian radio at that point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, everybody was kind of putting out the high-gloss picture, right?\u00a0 I thought, \u201cDo you really want to be this honest?\u201d\u00a0 You said\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I said?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You said, \u201cWell, first of all, it really happened.\u00a0 Secondly, yes.\u00a0 That\u2019s how people are going to understand that we\u2019re dealing with the same issues everybody else is dealing with.\u00a0 All we do is know how to apply the biblical principles to try to fix it when it happens.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I really enjoy meeting listeners who come up and say, \u201cThank you for the biblical perspective of life, and of marriage and of family, and of mission that you give on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 I also enjoy when people come up and say, \u201cThanks for being real, both you and Bob, just being honest about life.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s where we all live.\u00a0 Nobody lives a perfect life.\u00a0 We do have conflict.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to be appropriately honest here.\u00a0 I want to protect my wife as much as possible.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to get inappropriately honest; but, on the other hand, I want some of life\u2019s greatest lessons that God has taught me to flow over this broadcast into the lives of our listeners and know that they\u2019re normal.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear some of those today because we are going to hear Part One of a message that you shared not long ago at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway where you and I were speaking to a group of couples.\u00a0 You talked about biblical principles for resolving conflict.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say here, at the front end of today\u2019s program, one of the reasons we want you to listen to this message\u2014well, first of all, we think it will help you; but secondly, we want you to hear a little slice of what goes on at a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway because we are hoping that you\u2019ll sign up\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and attend one of the upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways when it comes to a city near where you live this fall.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about it.\u00a0 In fact, you need to understand, folks, this is a great weekend!\u00a0 We\u2019ve been working on these conferences now\u2014this is the start of our 36th year of being able to do these <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just have to tell you, it is a great package deal.\u00a0 It is the Scriptures taught as clearly as I know how to teach them and as our other speakers who speak at these events can as well\u2014share from authentic lives.\u00a0 It\u2019s practical.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be fun for your marriage.\u00a0 It will be romantic.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to leave the conference different people with hope and encouragement, and some vision for the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have worked out a special deal for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you sign up and identify yourself as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener\u2014you do that by putting my name, putting \u201cBOB\u201d, in the key code box on the online registration form; or you just call 1-800-FL-TODAY, and you mention that you\u2019re a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener as you sign up for one of these events.\u00a0 If you do that, if we know you\u2019re a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, you will save at least $100 per couple of the regular registration fee, just by letting us know you listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you sign up this week, before the end of the month, we will send to you, as well, a game that we\u2019ve put together for couples called <em>Spouse-ology<\/em>\u00ae.\u00a0 It is a fun, interactive game that couples can play together and learn more about one another.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, all of this is designed to get you to go to the website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Get more information about when a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is going to happen in a city near where you live; and then, register online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Again, put my name, \u201cBOB\u201d, in the online key code box or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and register.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs long as we know you\u2019re a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, you\u2019ll save at least $100 per couple off the regular registration fee.\u00a0 We hope that\u2019s enough incentive to get you motivated to come on out and join us at one of these <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways this fall.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If it\u2019s not, call us and tell us what would motivate you because we want you to go experience it.\u00a0 This is going to be good for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re going to hear Part One today of a message on biblical principles for resolving conflict.\u00a0 The Bible has a lot to say about how we resolve conflict in relationships.\u00a0 Dennis has a lot to say about it as well.\u00a0 Here is Part One of that message from a recent <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 (recorded message)\u00a0 The most famous sermon ever given\u2014Jesus summarized it by giving home-building tips.\u00a0 \u201cEveryone, then, who hears these words of mine and does them, will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.\u00a0 The rain fell, the floods came, the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall because it had been founded on the rock.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cEveryone, who hears these words of mine and does not do them, may be compared to a foolish man who built his house on the sand.\u201d\u00a0 What happens when water hits sand?\u00a0 It moves around.\u00a0 \u201cThe rains fell, the floods came, the winds blew and beat against that house; and it fell, and great was its fall.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEverybody needs a blueprint to know how to handle conflict in marriage.\u00a0 It isn\u2019t a matter of, \u201cIf we will have conflict\u201d; it is a matter of, \u201cWhat we will argue about.\u201d\u00a0 In fact, a recent survey that just came out in the past ten days called \u201cThe Truth about American Marriage\u201d points out a number of things about what\u2019s happening in marriages today.\u00a0 I thought I\u2019d share it with you to show you what we argue about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt asked the question, \u201cWhat do you and your spouse disagree about?\u201d\u00a0 Number One: Finances, 43 percent.\u00a0 You could select multiple choices here.\u00a0 Number Two: Household chores, like dishes.\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that interesting?\u00a0 Sex, emotional connection, our social life, raising the children, balancing work and family, smoking, drinking, gambling.\u00a0 There is a principle:\u00a0 Conflict is common to all marriages.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I had six children.\u00a0 I shared about our family having a number of conflicts, and it just so happened in the audience when I spoke that there was a statistician.\u00a0 I told him\u2014I said, \u201cI don\u2019t know how many relationships we have in our family, but I can promise you, we go to bed really exhausted.\u201d\u00a0 So, this guy (I don\u2019t remember when this was), he gave me this sheet of paper in handwriting to explain the number of relationships we have in our family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cIf each relationship has a 50-percent chance of being good at any one time, the chance of all 28 relationships\u2014\u201d\u00a0 Eight people (and he\u2019s got a grid here to show you how you have 28 relationships).\u00a0 Eight people form 28 relationships.\u00a0 So, the chance of all of them being good on the same day is about one in 268,435,456 years.\u00a0 No wonder raising a family is so difficult!\u00a0 You\u2019ve got all this inner play.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you have to ask yourself the question, \u201cWhy in the world does God allow us to experience conflict?\u201d\u00a0 I want you to get this on the front end.\u00a0 If it is true that conflict is common to all marriages and families, then, you have to come down to, really, what the Bible, I think, teaches us because a lot of the New Testament is about how to handle conflict.\u00a0 It is\u2014the family is God\u2019s proving-ground for training the next generation to know how to handle conflict.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are weary of conflict in your marriage and your family, this message is going to have five essentials that we\u2019re going to give you just to kind of share how you can begin to equip your children, as well as you as a couple, in resolving conflict.\u00a0 That takes me to the first one.\u00a0 The first one contains the very best marriage advice I\u2019ve ever received from any person on the planet.\u00a0 \u201cPray together with your spouse every day.\u201d\u00a0 Pray together with your spouse every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMarriage is a spiritual institution.\u00a0 It was designed by a spiritual person, God.\u00a0 So, it comes to a very simple conclusion that, \u201cWouldn\u2019t it work best if God were invited into the marriage on a daily basis, moment by moment?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I had been married about four months, and I went up to a friend whose name was Carl.\u00a0 Carl had five children.\u00a0 He\u2019d been married 25 years.\u00a0 I said, \u201cCarl, what is the very best piece of advice you can give me as a young man starting out my marriage.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cOh, that\u2019s easy, Denny.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cPray together every day with Barbara.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cReally?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cYes.\u00a0 Pray together every day.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cMy wife Sarah Jill and I have either started each day or ended each day, or sometime during the day, we\u2019ve prayed together as a couple about the burdens of our hearts and just what\u2019s going on in our lives.\u00a0 We\u2019ve just built that spiritual discipline into our lives.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cI know of no better piece of advice I could give you than to apply that in your marriage.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I was a young man, been married four months, kind of had stars in my eyes.\u00a0 I went home, and I don\u2019t recall if I had told Barbara that we were going to do it; but I just began practicing the spiritual discipline of saying, \u201cLet\u2019s pray.\u201d\u00a0 So, we began to do it at the end of the day as we were in bed.\u00a0 That would be the time that we\u2019d pray.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt started out fine.\u00a0 We\u2019d pray together.\u00a0 We\u2019d pray about our day.\u00a0 We\u2019d pray about something coming up; something troubling us; a burden; sitter didn\u2019t last a long time.\u00a0 Sometimes, we\u2019d both pray.\u00a0 Sometimes, I\u2019d just pray.\u00a0 Sometimes, she\u2019d just pray.\u00a0 It was a shared deal until somewhere a few more months into the marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne night I went to bed.\u00a0 Barbara was facing that wall; and I was facing that wall.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t what was most comfortable physically; it was symbolical of something that was taking place emotionally and spiritually.\u00a0 Something had come between us.\u00a0 So, across the back of my mind flashed, \u201cPray with your wife.\u00a0 You promised me you\u2019d pray with her.\u201d\u00a0 There was a tap on the shoulder, and it wasn\u2019t Barbara.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was God speaking to my conscience saying, \u201cAre you going to pray with her tonight, Rainey?\u201d\u00a0 I go, \u201cUh-uh.\u00a0 I don\u2019t like her tonight.\u201d\u00a0 He goes, \u201cI know you don\u2019t like her tonight, but you need to pray with her.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019d begin to argue with God, kind of like wrestling with an angel, and say, \u201cGod, you know, in this situation, she is 90percent wrong.\u201d\u00a0 God said, \u201cYes, but it was your 10 percent that caused her 90 percent wrong.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019d say to God, \u201cDon\u2019t bore me with the facts, God.\u00a0 You know I\u2019m right in this situation.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d wrestle with God and, finally, roll over and tap Barbara on the shoulder.\u00a0 I\u2019d say to her, \u201cSweetheart, we need to pray together; but before we pray, I need to ask your forgiveness for being only 10 percent wrong.\u201d\u00a0 No! Do not do that, guys!\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did that one night and that night lasted for two days.\u00a0 Don\u2019t, don\u2019t do that.\u00a0 That\u2019s not a good move.\u00a0 You\u2019ll not get one point for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo, I roll over.\u00a0 I say, \u201cSweetheart\u2014\u201d Sometimes, those words get caught just south of the Adam\u2019s apple.\u00a0 \u201cSweetheart, will you forgive me for\u2026?\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019d spell it out.\u00a0 Sometimes, Barbara would say, \u201cUh-uh.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to forgive you.\u201d\u00a0 It was little bit like, \u201cBring forth the fruits of repentance, Big Boy.\u00a0 Do you really mean it?\u00a0 This is an area where you\u2019ve disappointed me or hurt me repeatedly.\u00a0 We can\u2019t just keep doing this.\u201d\u00a0 So, it demanded some conversation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would have to say to you, \u201cThe spiritual discipline of praying together in our marriage may be the only reason why I could be standing up here speaking to you today.\u201d\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 When two stubborn individuals bow their wills before God and acknowledge Him as Creator, Lord, Master, Redeemer, that He has a plan, He has a purpose; we yield to that afresh.\u00a0 When two people do that every day for 36 years, God shows up.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe doesn\u2019t show up in the miraculous, in the spectacular, in the warm fuzzies, and the great feelings always.\u00a0 It is just everyday life, one foot in front of the other, with God showing up between two imperfect people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt took me years of doing this to realize, \u201cThat\u2019s a powerful thought that God could show up in your marriage every day in your relationship and help you as a couple when you go through the valley, when you are building in the midst of the rain, the winds, the floods, and the storms.\u00a0 He helps you build your house on the rock.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, here\u2019s my challenge to every man in this room: If you\u2019re willing to make this day the first day of the rest of your life of praying together with your spouse, sometime before the weekend is over, come up and shake my hand and say, \u201cI\u2019m going to pray with my wife.\u201d\u00a0 I can promise you the most powerful principle of resolving conflict will be first of all the spiritual discipline of bowing your wills before Almighty God because the storms will come.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecond principle is:\u00a0 \u201cUnderstanding the anatomy of anger,\u201d the anatomy of anger.\u00a0 There\u2019s a country song by Terri Clark that is entitled <em>I Just Want to be Mad<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(music begins playing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt points out the differences of how men and women handle anger.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLast night we went to bed not talking because we\u2019d already said too much.\u00a0 I faced the wall; you faced the window, bound and determined not to touch.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terri:<\/strong> (recorded music)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>Last night we went to bed not talking<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>Cause we already said too much.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>I faced the wall; you faced the window,<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>Bound and determined not to touch.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>I\u2019ve been up since five,<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>Thinking about me and you.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>And I\u2019ve got to tell you <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>The conclusion I\u2019ve come to,<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Chorus)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>I\u2019ll never leave; I\u2019ll never stray.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>My love for you will never change,<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>But I aint ready to make up<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>Or get around to that.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>I think I\u2019m right; I think you\u2019re wrong.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>I\u2019ll probably give in before long.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>Please don\u2019t make me smile.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>I just wanna be mad for awhile.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 (recorded message)\u00a0 Don\u2019t you love Country\u2014Country music?\u00a0 \u201cWell, you might as well forget it.\u00a0 Don\u2019t run your fingers through my hair\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terri:<\/strong> (recorded music)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Well, you might as well forget it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Don\u2019t run your fingers through my hair\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 (recorded message)\u00a0 \u201cYeah, that\u2019s right, I\u2019m being stubborn\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terri:<\/strong>\u00a0 (recorded music)\u00a0 Yeah, that\u2019s right I\u2019m being stubborn\u2026<strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 (recorded message)\u00a0 \u201cNo, I don\u2019t want-a go upstairs\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terri:<\/strong>\u00a0 (recorded music)\u00a0 No, I don\u2019t want-a go back upstairs\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 (recorded message)\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to leave for work without a goodbye kiss\u2026\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terri: <\/strong>\u00a0(recorded music)\u00a0 I\u2019m going to leave for work without a goodbye kiss\u2026\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 (recorded message)\u00a0 \u201cBut as I\u2019m driving off, just remember this\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terri: <\/strong>\u00a0(recorded music)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>But as I\u2019m driving off, <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Just remember this,<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Chorus)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>I\u2019ll never leave; I\u2019ll never stray.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>My love for you will never change.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>But I aint ready to make up<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>Or get around to that.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>I think I\u2019m right; I think you\u2019re wrong.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>I\u2019ll probably give in before long.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>Please, don\u2019t make me smile.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<em>I just wanna be mad for awhile<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 (recorded message)\u00a0\u00a0 Could I see the hands of all those ladies in here who would confess to having felt this way at some time in your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Terri:<\/strong> (recorded music)\u00a0 I just want-a be mad for awhile\u2026.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 (recorded message)\u00a0 We get angry.\u00a0 The problem is:\u00a0 We don\u2019t understand the anatomy of anger.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ve been listening to Part One of a message from Dennis Rainey on resolving conflict in marriage.\u00a0 Why the women?\u00a0 You\u2019ve felt that way before, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, sure.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You just want to be mad for awhile.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure, sure.\u00a0 In fact, I was just thinking there\u2019d be some new technology that we could have where when couples raise their voices at each other, it would activate that song in houses.\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 \u201cNo, I don\u2019t want to go upstairs.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The point that you are making about conflict\u2014the fact that it is common to all marriages and the fact that if you are experiencing conflict, that doesn\u2019t mean you got the wrong person.\u00a0 It just means you\u2019ve got to learn how to, in the power of the Holy Spirit, get it fixed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You just need to look at the New Testament.\u00a0 Just take a look at all the teachings of Christ, all the epistles, and all that\u2019s taught about how to resolve conflict between human beings.\u00a0 I mean, \u201cPeople, we make mistakes.\u201d\u00a0 We say too much, or we don\u2019t say enough.\u00a0 That was true the other night with Barbara and me.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cI\u2019m going to play it safe\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here we go again.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014you know?\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to play it safe.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to say a whole lot.\u201d\u00a0 It got me in trouble.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That didn\u2019t work, either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It didn\u2019t work, either.\u00a0 (laughter)\u00a0 Here\u2019s the thing:\u00a0 It\u2019s not a science.\u00a0 You\u2019re not going to reduce your spouse to an equation.\u00a0 You just have to learn to walk with God and be teachable, and don\u2019t ever lose the ability to ask for forgiveness or grant forgiveness with your spouse.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk more about that this week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, again, we\u2019re hoping that listeners will take advantage of this opportunity to sign up for one of the upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways that we\u2019re going to be hosting this fall.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got three or four dozen events happening in cities all across the country.\u00a0 We\u2019re giving <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to sign up and get the group rate because, face it, you are a group.\u00a0 You listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; you\u2019re a part of the group.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll you have to do is go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, find out when a conference is going to be in a city near where you live, or a weekend that works for you and you can travel to that particular city.\u00a0 Once you know which conference you want to attend, you fill out the registration form online and you put my name, \u201cBOB\u201d, in the key code box on the online registration form.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you call 1-800-FL-TODAY; and you say, \u201cI listen to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>We want to go to this particular weekend getaway.\u201d\u00a0 When you do that, when you identify yourself as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> <em>\u00ae <\/em>listener, you\u2019ll save at least $100 per couple off the regular registration fee.\u00a0 That\u2019s the lowest rate we make available any time for the conference, but you have to identify yourself as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, fill out the online registration form, and type my name, type \u201cBOB\u201d, in the online key code box.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and identify yourself as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener.\u00a0 Then, join us at one of these upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you sign up before the end of the month, before July is over, we will send you as a thank-you gift for signing up early a copy of the game, <em>Spouse-ology<\/em>\u00ae, that was created for couples to play so you can get to know one another.\u00a0 It is a fun, interactive game for couples.\u00a0 That is our gift to you for signing up early.\u00a0 So, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and sign up.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and get signed up for an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear Part Two of Dennis\u2019 message on resolving conflict.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to take a look at the \u201cAnatomy of Anger.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019re going to look at the right way to confront a spouse when he or she has done something wrong.\u00a0 That comes up tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a9Song:\u00a0 <em>I Just Wanna Be Mad<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Terri Clark\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlbum:\u00a0\u00a0 <em>Paint to Kill<\/em>, (p) 2003 Mercury Records, a Division of UMG Recording, Inc.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302321","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302321"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302321"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302321"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302321"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302321"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302321"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302321"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}