{"id":302265,"date":"2011-05-02T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-05-02T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/overcoming-the-obstacles\/"},"modified":"2011-05-02T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-05-02T15:00:00","slug":"overcoming-the-obstacles","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/overcoming-the-obstacles\/","title":{"rendered":"Overcoming the Obstacles"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When was the last time you invited someone over for dinner?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-05-02.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.24M","filesize_raw":"23317954","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2821],"tags":[4722,4818,5174],"podcast_series":[7801],"cwp_profile":[3396],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302265","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reaching-out","tag-christianity","tag-evangelism","tag-neighborhood","podcast_series-the-reluctant-entertainer","cwp_profile-paul-and-sandy-coughlin","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302265\/overcoming-the-obstacles","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302265\/overcoming-the-obstacles","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ZcdOymMgGa\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/overcoming-the-obstacles\/\">Overcoming the Obstacles<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/overcoming-the-obstacles\/embed\/#?secret=ZcdOymMgGa\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Overcoming the Obstacles&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ZcdOymMgGa\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"When was the last time you invited someone over for dinner?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-05-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0I\u2019m just looking at it and thinking, \u201cLet\u2019s just stop the broadcast and why don\u2019t you whip up a little bit of that for us?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy: <\/strong>\u00a0I should have brought some in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A cup of dark brown sugar, a half-cup of butter, some water. . . \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All of this assumes, Bob, that you <em>cook<\/em>!\u00a0 That\u2019s the real challenge today, isn\u2019t it Sandy?\u00a0 Because women are not entertaining nearly as much at home because eating out has become kind of standard fare.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s right, Dennis.\u00a0 That\u2019s one of the reasons I came up with my blog about four and a half years ago.\u00a0 Paul and I had been talking, because we had always entertained \u2013 well, entertained quite a bit \u2013 in our almost 20 years of marriage.\u00a0 But we realized that we invite a lot of people in, but we don\u2019t get many invites to other people\u2019s homes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we realized that people really (women, in general) are reluctant to entertain.\u00a0 I started exploring that on my blog, putting questions out there and writing about it.\u00a0 I heard cries from women all over, stating that their house wasn\u2019t clean enough, they didn\u2019t know how to cook, it cost too much, they didn\u2019t want to do it with their kids around.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was every excuse possible, and I call them \u201cjoy busters\u201d in my book.\u00a0 That\u2019s when I came up with the blog, \u201cReluctant Entertainer,\u201d and then a book came from it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you\u2019re not a reluctant entertainer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m not a reluctant entertainer.\u00a0 I actually grew up with parents who knew how to entertain very well.\u00a0 My mom did it beautifully; she didn\u2019t do it perfectly, but she did a beautiful job.\u00a0 My dad was alongside her and they knew how to create conversation.\u00a0 They would always have music playing in the background.\u00a0 This was 40-50 years ago, so I learned from my parents.\u00a0 That was one of my expectations when I married Paul, that we would have some dinner parties together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Little did she know!\u00a0 She thought she was marrying kind of a quiet guy, when in reality she was marrying a fearful guy.\u00a0 I just <em>did not want<\/em> to have people in the home as much as she did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You were afraid of the conversations you would have to create?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 I thought I would have to carry this conversation up Mount Olympus.\u00a0 That\u2019s how it felt to me.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t very good at it.\u00a0 But what I saw was that when we did entertain, Sandy would glow.\u00a0 It was just her bliss!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I thought to myself, \u201cWell, if she enjoys this, I should at least try to enjoy it.\u201d\u00a0 So, I did \u2013 I tried.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And how many years did it take you to come to that conclusion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I came to that conclusion pretty early, but I bet it took me two to three years to be able to be comfortable doing it.\u00a0 I got a book about how to keep a conversation going, and one of the things was knowing how to ask good questions.\u00a0 I would memorize questions, and even write them on my hand when people came over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Then I got better!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 He would have three questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hold on, there\u2019s something written on your hand.\u00a0 What is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is.\u00a0 It\u2019s Luke 18, about the widow that Bob was talking about before. . . \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We were talking about that before the program!\u00a0 Sandy, you\u2019ve got three teenagers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 We do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And there was a time when they weren\u2019t teenagers; when they were toddlers.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Is there a season of life when entertaining needs to be set on the shelf because kids are primary, or is this something that\u2019s an ongoing discipline for a wife and for a family, even when the kids are toddlers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think both of your answers are correct.\u00a0 There is a season, and the season in our lives when it was difficult was when we lost three parents in a five year period, and we were young with three little babies (Abby was nine months old).\u00a0 That was definitely a season when, to be honest, we didn\u2019t feel like having people into our home.\u00a0 And I have often written to people on my blog, or emailed people, to encourage them, \u201cIt\u2019s OK.\u00a0 It\u2019s a season.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to do it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut, on the other hand, having children \u2013 it is difficult, because you never know what\u2019s going to happen \u2013 but you just go with the flow.\u00a0 We would find that you feed the kids and send them on their way, and we would have that great connection with our friends.\u00a0 We would lean in as we would talk.\u00a0 We were so craving adult conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would ask, \u201cWell, what\u2019s working for you?\u00a0 How are your kids?\u201d\u00a0 You talk about life when the kids are running around.\u00a0 This happened because I overcame things having to be perfect in my home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf things had to be perfect, I probably never would have entertained with children.\u00a0 You really have to put expectations aside with children, but I think it\u2019s essential.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s essential for marriages.\u00a0 I just read a study about how couples are more inclined to be romantic with each other or have better marriages when they actually have couple friends that they entertain and dine with \u2013 some good, healthy friendships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor us, that was essential in our home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think every male listener just really heard that last part.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was watching you smile as your wife said that, and watching you think, \u201cWhen can we have some more folks over to the house?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Line it up!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve been looking forward to asking you this question.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to illustrate it before I ask you the question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is something extremely powerful today, maybe as never before in our culture \u2013 I\u2019m not saying it wasn\u2019t powerful 50 years ago, or 100 years ago, but I think it was commonplace to entertain. I think today inviting people into your home to be a part of the preparation of the meal, to be engaged in conversation, to enjoy the meal, and push back and enjoy dessert when it\u2019s time.\u00a0 There\u2019s something about it that is so unique; it sets everything a cut above going out to even the finest restaurant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll illustrate it with this \u2013 Chuck Colson was on our broadcast a few months ago with his daughter Emily.\u00a0 We had worked it out when they came into town that they were going to have dinner with us in our home.\u00a0 We had them out to our house, and I fed them my blackened salmon.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had all kinds of kidding.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your famous blackened salmon - your legendary blackened salmon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You like it; admit it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s good.\u00a0 It\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 OK, that\u2019s good.\u00a0 Well, so does Chuck Colson now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut the point is that we could have gone out to a very nice restaurant and he would never have remembered the dinner.\u00a0 I\u2019m not saying that we were duds, but there\u2019s something about going to someone\u2019s home and being where they live, seeing what they value, seeing how they live and where they live, and interacting around that which makes entertaining today seem to me to be a cut above other times in the past.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you agree with that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do agree.\u00a0 And I think if I had to give one answer, the conversation would be my answer.\u00a0 The difference would be that when you go to a restaurant with somebody, everybody is just talking and mingling.\u00a0 You talk about some meaningful things.\u00a0 But, when people come into our home, we have designated questions in mind, not always but most of the time, of what we\u2019re going to talk about around the table. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn\u2019t mean we can\u2019t get on another subject, but the night really becomes about the conversation.\u00a0 It becomes about connecting and getting to know these people more, going deep about different subjects, whereas in a restaurant I don\u2019t think it happens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re interrupted by the server, there are distractions around.\u00a0 In our home, we have music playing and it\u2019s just more soothing than a restaurant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I thought it was interesting, because I\u2019d never considered this \u2013 you talked about having people over for dinner, but having them over while you\u2019re in the midst of the preparation of the dinner.\u00a0 We tend to think that when folks show up it\u2019s five minutes before we\u2019re going to eat.\u00a0 But you have people over half an hour or forty-five minutes before, while you\u2019re still grilling the salmon or cooking the vegetables.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I\u2019ll tell you what.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know it either, Bob, until I went to a couple\u2019s home in Alta, Utah.\u00a0 They lived in a ski area.\u00a0 They invited me to dinner, and the preparation for the meal was as much as part of the meal (including conversation).\u00a0 The entire experience was about five or six hours.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t just go and eat.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe went and watched them prepare.\u00a0 We sampled and talked about the samples.\u00a0 We interacted.\u00a0 This couple lived in a home that they had built.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never forgotten that experience of not only eating in their home, but having them invite me in.\u00a0 Not feeling uptight about seeing the kitchen messy in preparation of the meal.\u00a0 It was the whole experience.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think they actually tied it back to some European custom.\u00a0 In foreign countries (in Europe), dinner was not just the culinary experience of eating the food, it was the preparation, conversation and the entire experience all the way through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, if you\u2019re going to have people come over for a dinner party, I think we tend to focus on what the menu should be \u2013 a pretty big item for a dinner party \u2013 but you mention being intentional about what questions you\u2019re going to ask.\u00a0 Are there other elements of entertaining that you\u2019re as intentional about as what food you\u2019re going to cook?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019d say definitely music and the ambience.\u00a0 I give very little thought to my table.\u00a0 I grab a tablecloth and see what flowers are in season, and always have candles.\u00a0 But I do not believe in over-the-top centerpieces.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve just given more thought to your table than I would give because you have flowers and candles on it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 OK, our two candles are fine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That brings me to my question, which is, \u201cWho do you entertain?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think sometimes we\u2019ve lost a little bit of our vision about how we can use hospitality as a way to connect with people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 For the reluctant entertainer, that\u2019s a good question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy answer is always to invite one, two, or three people.\u00a0 Just start small.\u00a0 So think of somebody in your circle of friends or people that you would like to get to know in a greater way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor Paul and me, when we entertain, we\u2019ll think of a couple or another person or two, and who goes together.\u00a0 Who has something in common?\u00a0 Or who would benefit from knowing this person?\u00a0 It\u2019s almost a way of introducing people to one another with entertaining.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes, you want to have your old time friends and family, but you want to think about, \u201cWho could use connection?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, you\u2019re really talking about being purposeful when it comes to relationships.\u00a0 Saying this needs to be important, and it needs to be a priority.\u00a0 That we\u2019re not going to live a sequestered, cut-off life, but are going to be involved in the lives of other people because ultimately there\u2019s joy there and because God has commanded us to be connected to the lives of others, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Totally.\u00a0 I think we need to take that a step further and say that because of the media and blogs and magazines and cooking shows, many women are reluctant today to have people in.\u00a0 They think about their home, and perfectionism actually isolates people, and they end up being lonely people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I\u2019ll just add a little story here, because the first time we ever came to Arkansas, we were coming in to find out more about the ministry of FamilyLife.\u00a0 Dennis said, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you guys come over for dinner while you\u2019re in town?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d seen a picture of Dennis and Barbara on the back of one of their books.\u00a0 It\u2019s a picture where he\u2019s got on a coat and tie, and she\u2019s got on a dress with pearls, and there\u2019s a library setting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of airbrushing taking place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you expect to go to their home and find Dennis in a smoking jacket with a pipe in front of his. . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A smoking jacket?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What are you talking about?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know. . . \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we walked in for dinner, and it was half an hour before the meal was ready.\u00a0 Dennis was cooking and Barbara was cooking, and they were just being normal around a normal kitchen with normal clutter in the house and normal teenagers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember walking out with Mary Ann and saying, \u201cThey\u2019re normal!\u00a0 The picture isn\u2019t normal, but they\u2019re normal.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And we could have gone out to a restaurant and still perpetuated the false image that you had.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We would have had a fine time at the restaurant, but there was something that was more disclosing, more personal, more revealing, more intimate, really, in inviting somebody into your home.\u00a0 It does drive a relationship to a deeper place, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does.\u00a0 You really enjoyed trying on my smoking jacket!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat picture in my mind just really. . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob will never think of you the same again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think back in terms of the seasons that Barbara and I have been through in our marriage and our family; like you talked about Sandy, when you said you\u2019d had a loss of parents and young children making a lot going on in your life.\u00a0 There were seasons in our life when we didn\u2019t do much entertaining at all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember living next door to a neighbor, for a decade, before we ever asked them over for a meal.\u00a0 Now, honestly, that feels almost irresponsible in a way.\u00a0 To be a follower of Jesus Christ and not try to get to know somebody who may not be of the same faith persuasion as you, but reach out to them around a meal to get to know them and hear their story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe did this \u2013 we reached out.\u00a0 This family had helped us in innumerable ways around our house (things I wasn\u2019t good at, and they were), but we\u2019d never had them into our home to hear their story.\u00a0 I mean, the \u201cGone with the Wind\u201d version.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a fascinating story of the lives they had lived and been through.\u00a0 It helped us to relate to them in a more personal, understanding way.\u00a0 Everybody\u2019s got a context out of which they\u2019re coming at life.\u00a0 Once you understand where somebody\u2019s come from, maybe you\u2019ll understand a little bit about why they behave the way they do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEntertaining can be a way we can truly get to know them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I love that story.\u00a0 It\u2019s beautiful.\u00a0 I would say some of our most wonderful dinner parties we have had have been with people of different faiths.\u00a0 I remember asking a question on my blog once:\u00a0 \u201cDo you entertain with people just from your circle of church friends and of family?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was interesting.\u00a0 The answers were mostly, \u201cWell, we just have family.\u201d\u00a0 This tells me they\u2019re not interested in opening their homes more.\u00a0 The other answer was, \u201cChurch people.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tVery few said that they venture out into making friends with people of different faiths.\u00a0 Very few people said that.\u00a0 I wanted to encourage people to do that more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think what you\u2019ve done in your book is put together something that, I believe, exhorts Christian families and couples, regardless of the season of life they\u2019re in, to take a step back and evaluate, \u201cHow are you doing with hospitality?,\u201d and \u201cIs your home a welcoming home?,\u201d\u00a0 or \u201cAre you, as you said earlier, Sandy, not obsessed with perfection, but expecting too much out of yourself in terms of having a \u2018Better Homes and Gardens\u2019 house every time they walk into the door?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t remember the meal that we had when Bob and Mary Ann came over to our house, but I can almost promise you that the house was not perfect.\u00a0 We did have three or four teenagers, I believe, at the time.\u00a0 It\u2019s life!\u00a0 It\u2019s real life coming at you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that\u2019s what people are looking for today.\u00a0 They are looking for authentic relationships with real people.\u00a0 Hospitality helps \u201cset the table,\u201d so to speak.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sandy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you what I\u2019m looking for.\u00a0 I\u2019m looking for Baked Pear Vanilla French Toast \u2013 right here.\u00a0 I\u2019m back to this because it looks excellent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I need to share my French toast recipe with you.\u00a0 It\u2019s called \u201c10W30.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s a little butter in that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A little butter and maple syrup.\u00a0 I don\u2019t really use motor oil; I use peanut oil.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But just listen:\u00a0 Baked Pear Vanilla French Toast.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got a cup of brown sugar \u2013 dark brown sugar, a \u00bd cup of butter, some water, three fresh pears (or you can use canned pears if you want to), four cups of French bread cut into small pieces (don\u2019t use the crust), some pecans, some eggs, some milk or cream, and a little vanilla and powdered sugar and maple syrup.\u00a0 You mix it all together in a baking pan and you bake it up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m telling you, I\u2019m ready for a serving of that right now.\u00a0 It\u2019s one of the recipes in the book that you\u2019ve written, <em>Reluctant Entertainer:<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>Every Woman\u2019s Guide to Simple and Gracious Hospitality.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>We\u2019ve got the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got the \u201cOK\u201d to put the Baked Pear Vanilla French Toast online as well.\u00a0 So, if you want to go to FamilyLifeToday.com you can get the recipe and find out how to order a copy of the book <em>The Reluctant Entertainer<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got other resources there related to hospitality as well, because we think this is important \u2013 for Christian families to be involved in hospitality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-358-6329. 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201ctoday,\u201d\u00a0 Ask how you can get a copy of Sandy Coughlin\u2019s book <em>The Reluctant Entertainer <\/em>and we\u2019ll get a copy sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow we also need to take just a minute here before we\u2019re done, and let our listeners know about something very special that\u2019s happening during the month of May.\u00a0 This time of year is a challenge for ministries like ours because we\u2019re headed into the summer.\u00a0 In the summer, a lot of folks who might normally support the radio program get busy doing other things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a result, pretty typically, we see a decline in donations to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> during the summer months.\u00a0 Sometimes that can be a cause for concern, making us call back and figure out how we\u2019re going to pay our bills during the summer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had some friends of the ministry who came along recently, and they said, \u201cWe want to try to help out and try to encourage your listeners to help out as well.\u201d\u00a0 So they are making available a matching gift during the month of May of $750,000.\u00a0 This is the largest match that has ever been offered to us outside of the month of December.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re very encouraged by their generosity, but we\u2019re also wondering if we\u2019re going to be able to make the match \u2013 if we\u2019ll hear from enough listeners here in May to be able to take full advantage of that match.\u00a0 If we can, it should really help us out as we go through the summer months.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we\u2019re asking you:\u00a0 Can you help with a donation this month of $20 or $30 or $40 or $50, or $100 \u2013 whatever you can do.\u00a0 Any donation you can make is going to be matched dollar-for-dollar up to this total amount of $750,000.\u00a0 Can you go online today at FamilyLifeToday.com or call us at 1-800-FLTODAY and make a generous donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> so that we can take full advantage of this matching gift?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you\u2019ll do that and we\u2019ll keep you posted throughout the month.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a thermometer on the website that will show you how we\u2019re doing as we try to take full advantage of this matching gift.\u00a0 So, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information or to keep tabs on how things are going.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, if you can help with a donation, we would appreciate it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow we\u2019re going to be back to talk more about hospitality and about what you can do to make your home a place of ministry and to pour into the lives of others.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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