{"id":302252,"date":"2011-04-07T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-04-07T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/guiding-protecting-helping\/"},"modified":"2011-04-07T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-04-07T15:00:00","slug":"guiding-protecting-helping","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/guiding-protecting-helping\/","title":{"rendered":"Guiding, Protecting, Helping"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can you protect your daughter&#8217;s innocence?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-04-07.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.92M","filesize_raw":"26134739","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2836],"tags":[4876,4798],"podcast_series":[7797],"cwp_profile":[3154],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302252","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-raising-girls","tag-girls","tag-kids","podcast_series-keeping-the-little-in-your-girl","cwp_profile-dannah-gresh","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302252\/guiding-protecting-helping","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302252\/guiding-protecting-helping","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"rsSLrEsTtq\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/guiding-protecting-helping\/\">Guiding, Protecting, Helping<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/guiding-protecting-helping\/embed\/#?secret=rsSLrEsTtq\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Guiding, Protecting, Helping&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"rsSLrEsTtq\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-04-07.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-04-07.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What kind of rules or standards do you have at your house for what your children can and can\u2019t watch on television or in movies?\u00a0 Dannah Gresh says it\u2019s important to have some standards in place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Fifty five percent of tween kids who see mildly sexual content on television, maybe PG or PG-13 movies with just a little bit of that stuff in there, 55% of them are sexually active between the ages of 14 and 16, compared to 6% when they haven\u2019t seen that stuff.\u00a0 That\u2019s huge.\u00a0 And there\u2019s just statistic after statistic that says that we really should be careful about what our kids see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLifeToday<\/em> for Thursday, April 7<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Dannah Gresh joins us today to talk about what we can do as parents to help protect and preserve our children\u2019s innocence and purity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I\u2019m just curious.\u00a0 I have to wonder whether our guest has taken any heat for the title of this book.\u00a0 I mean, as parents we want to protect our children\u2019s innocence, but I can imagine some moms and dads read the title of a book called <em>Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl<\/em> and they think, \u201cOh, you just want to shelter her and have her never grow up.\u201d\u00a0 Right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, let\u2019s ask her.\u00a0 Dannah Gresh joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Dannah, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 It\u2019s good to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Taken any heat?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the funny thing is the title I don\u2019t take heat on, because in almost every mom there\u2019s a little bit of that female intuition that says \u201cI think something\u2019s off here in our culture.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t know why, but I think maybe my daughter shouldn\u2019t be wearing a miniskirt and a belly ring,\u201d but she doesn\u2019t know why.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhere I begin to take heat is where we get into the six specific areas where the research proves that there\u2019s risk associated with letting our daughters grow up too fast in these areas.\u00a0 The worst one, really, is the first one, when I take a stand about what kind of dolls they should or should not be playing with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now wait.\u00a0 You\u2019re saying that to protect your child\u2019s innocence into her teen years you need to pay attention to the doll house?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly what I\u2019m saying.\u00a0 I should back up by saying that one of the most powerful developers of self control in a child is imaginative play, which, if you look at how kids play today, is almost non-existent.\u00a0 People didn\u2019t use to think of play in terms of an object, a toy.\u00a0 They used to think of it in terms of \u201copen the door and let the kids out.\u201d\u00a0 And they went outside and they created cowboys and Indians, or moms and dads with families, or all kinds of things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe thing that happens when our kids experience that is they begin to self-regulate.\u00a0 If, for example, a little girl is role-playing mom, and she\u2019s making sand pancakes and the sand pancake tower falls down, she says to herself, \u201cI really feel like throwing the shovel at the kids, but I\u2019m not sure that\u2019s what a mom would do.\u201d\u00a0 Seriously, that is self-regulation, executive function in the pre-frontal cortex of the brain being enacted.\u00a0 And that is what teaches our kids as adults to have self-control.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dannah, you actually quote a study in your book that compared a child in the 1940s to a child in 2001.\u00a0 That\u2019s fascinating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it was fascinating.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if this is what it\u2019s called, but I call it \u201cThe Great Standing Still Study.\u201d\u00a0 In the 1940s they took three-year-olds, five-year-olds and seven-year-olds, and they asked them to just stand still.\u00a0 There would be a reward at the end if they could stand still.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThree-year-olds couldn\u2019t do it, five-year-olds could give you three minutes, seven-year-olds were indefinite.\u00a0 They would stand there up to an hour if they needed to for the reward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn 2001, three-year-olds still couldn\u2019t do it, five-year-olds behaved like three-year-olds; they could not stand still, and seven-year-olds could only stand still for a total of three minutes.\u00a0 So in not having that imaginative playtime that kids used to have in the olden golden days, they were losing some of that executive function, or self control.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, are you saying \u201cSend them out in the back yard.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let them play with dolls?\u201d\u00a0 Are you saying that dolls are a good way to engage in that kind of imaginative play?\u00a0 Are you pro-doll or anti-doll?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am pro-doll.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dolls are really an important way for little girls to experience not only imaginative play, but play that develops a value for family and nurturing and motherhood.\u00a0 Now in the ages of maybe two to five, I call that the copycat phase of moral development, a little girl should have just a baby doll that she can feed a bottle and change its diapers. She just wants to hold it and cuddle it because she sees Mom nurturing so she wants to be a nurturer.\u00a0 And still little girls today tend to want and moms tend to buy those kind of dolls for two- to five-year-olds.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in the six to 11 year range is when the risk starts to happen, and I see some things that I\u2019m very concerned about.\u00a0 That\u2019s more the counseling phase.\u00a0 That\u2019s when our kids start to ask \u2018Why?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWhy do we do things the way we do?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWhy is a man married to a woman?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWhy does Daddy go to work and Mommy stays home?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll these important questions \u2013 just something as simple as \u201cWhy can\u2019t I have a popsicle before dinner?\u201d\u00a0 These questions develop moral values.\u00a0 During those years moms tend to get caught up in the more popular sensual-looking dolls.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to be \u2013 well, I will be happy to step on some toes today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, here we go.\u00a0 Here we go.\u00a0 Just before we go any further, you might want to go to the bedroom and get your Barbie collection set aside.\u00a0 Because you\u2019re not real big on Barbie, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m not a huge Barbie fan, and I do have Barbies from my childhood that are still in my attic.\u00a0 And I\u2019m not a big Bratz doll fan.\u00a0 I\u2019m not a big Monster \u2013 the Monster Girls doll fan - they\u2019re kind of sensual looking.\u00a0 They\u2019re wearing the fishnet stockings and the miniskirts, but they have kind of a vampire, dark look to them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me tell you why.\u00a0 When they play with dolls that look more sexual, they tend to have a knowledge that they\u2019re supposed to be catching something.\u00a0 Even some of the most left-leaning thinkers, some of the people whose work I\u2019ve studied, they have agreed with me on this doll stuff.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSusan Linn is one who gets on interviews constantly and apologizes profusely for what she\u2019s about to say about dolls, because she\u2019s pro-choice and she believes that women can be empowered and feminists and all this kind of thing, but I really do see that little girls who play with Bratz dolls or the more sexual dolls, tend to have \u2013 she says \u201cthey are put on a conveyer belt to sexuality.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbie?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbie.\u00a0 Could I just tell you the other bone that I\u2019d like to pick with Barbie is that she\u2019s not physically possible.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I understand that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, her neck would be nine inches long.\u00a0 She\u2019d be so top-heavy she\u2019d have to walk on all fours.\u00a0 I mean, there\u2019s that other standard of unattainable beauty there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you know how many people we\u2019ve got listening who go, \u201cI grew up, you grew up playing with Barbies.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did it hurt you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Am I okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, no, now we\u2019re laughing about that, but the first time you appeared on <em>FamilyLife Today?<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was around your story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of hurt in my story.\u00a0 I did end up on a conveyer belt to early sexual activity, and it broke my heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, here\u2019s what I would say to someone who\u2019s kind of pushing back from the radio and who hasn\u2019t turned it off yet.\u00a0 I\u2019d just say you have to take a step back in this culture and just say, \u201cAm I going to be a part of the mindless masses that just enter into a line that get funneled through hearing all these messages and allow my children to hear the same without regard to the consequences of where these choices are leading us as a nation?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are sexualizing our kids at earlier and earlier ages, and we have to push back and go, \u201cAs parents, will we be the parents?\u00a0 Will we appropriately protect the modesty, the innocence, the spiritual condition of our children?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the more popular lines of dolls today has a little controversy with it.\u00a0 That\u2019s the American Girl line of dolls.\u00a0 First you have to be able to qualify for a small loan at the bank to buy them, but then the company \u2013 there\u2019s controversy around the values of that particular company.\u00a0 From a pure doll standpoint I would think you would say that\u2019s the kind of approach you want to take to creative play with your daughters, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 From a pure doll standpoint, yes.\u00a0 And you know what I did when I found out that American Girl was funding organizations that were really the antithesis of my moral values?\u00a0 I found dolls that looked like American Girls that cost a quarter as much.\u00a0 And you know what?\u00a0 My daughter loved them just as much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to go on to the second way to keep the little in your girl.\u00a0 When I read this one, I have to tell you, Dannah, I said, \u201cReally?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re going to talk about this one?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know I\u2019m a guy, and it\u2019s not a guy thing, obviously.\u00a0 It\u2019s something that a young lady only experiences, but why is this important to helping your daughter grow up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you\u2019re going to make me say it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am going to make you say it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, way number two is celebrate her body by punctuating her period.\u00a0 I think this is one of the most critical areas of moral development because it gives us an opportunity as moms to speak into the value of life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s one of the things that scared me as I polled moms as I was writing this chapter.\u00a0 I asked them, \u201cHow many of you had a really frightening experience that first month?\u201d\u00a0 So many of them said that they did, and my research found that something like 40% to 45% of women experienced their first month of menstruation \u2013 Yikes, I can\u2019t believe I said that word \u2013 and never knew about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Never knew what was going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Never knew it was coming.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Nobody prepared them for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Nobody prepared them for it.\u00a0 So what I chose to do when my daughter was younger, when she was about nine years old was I took a very radically different approach.\u00a0 I found four of my friends and I asked them if we could try something new.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI took them into a room after several weeks of building up friendship and opening the Word of God on other less-scary topics, and we showed a little video of a pregnant woman.\u00a0 We were able to see photos of the baby in utero, which were amazing.\u00a0 We spent just a long time talking about that, opening the Scriptures and getting the girls so excited about this.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we said, \u201cGod is soon going to begin to prepare your bodies,\u201d and then we brought out the basket of all the girls\u2019 stuff, including chocolate.\u00a0 And we just talked about all these different things, and we said \u201cThis is going to happen.\u201d\u00a0 Do you know that every one of those girls \u2013 there were five of them \u2013 came to us in great celebration.\u00a0 They wanted to tell their moms, their dads, their brothers, because they thought this was a beautiful gift from God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s amazing!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s part of the reason why we created <em>Passport to Purity<\/em>, which is a weekend getaway for a mother\/daughter or a father\/son.\u00a0 In <em>Passport to Purity,<\/em> one of the CDs in there is an hour-long conversation with my wife,\u00a0 Barbara, and a 10-, 11-, 12-year-old young lady talking with her mother about what to expect.\u00a0 It talks about a woman\u2019s body.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t talk about a young lady\u2019s body in a shaming way, but it talks about it in a way that honors God, because he\u2019s the one that made us male and female.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> is one of my favorite products to recommend to moms of older tweens and young teens, and I think every mom and every dad should do that with their son and daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do, too.\u00a0 There shouldn\u2019t be any 40% of the young ladies whose moms listen to this broadcast enter into puberty without having known in advance what\u2019s about to happen to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s the third way you can help keep the little in your girl?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, if I could just say that this third one was really hard for me to write about, because I think as a mom I haven\u2019t done well with it.\u00a0 It is unplug her from a plugged-in world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I could just say one thing to the mom or even the dad that\u2019s listening that says \u201cI\u2019m such a failure.\u00a0 I\u2019ve given them all the wrong dolls to play with; I haven\u2019t talked to them about their period.\u201d\u00a0 I have felt that way, too.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWriting this book was a great conflict for me because I knew that talking to your kids about what they watch and what they listen to is so critical, but it\u2019s an area where my husband and I bear a lot of guilt because we haven\u2019t done things as well as we would have liked.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well you\u2019ve said that twice now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What haven\u2019t you done?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, as I was writing it and some of the guidelines and some of the risk associated that I learned about in the research \u2013 for example, my kids haven\u2019t experienced this, per se, but 55% of tween kids who see mildly sexual content on television, maybe PG or PG-13 movies with just a little bit of that stuff in there, 55% of them are sexually active between the ages of 14 and 16, compared to 6% when they haven\u2019t seen that stuff.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s huge.\u00a0 And there\u2019s just statistic after statistic that says that we really should be careful about what our kids see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dannah, this is the point, though, where a lot of moms and dads will hear you and they\u2019ll say, \u201cOkay this is one of those sell the TV and move to the country\u201d kinds of statements that says, \u201cThrow up your hands and hide in the cave and hope that it all works out when you come out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, if I could just throw myself out there to be potentially crucified, my family has watched during some seasons <em>American Idol.<\/em>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What you don\u2019t realize is Bob and I, we didn\u2019t do it with our kids, but Bob and I both have watched <em>American Idol.<\/em>\u00a0 I don\u2019t hold any stones to throw at you for watching <em>American Idol<\/em>.\u00a0 Are you finding there\u2019s a push-back?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Some people do, just by virtue of the name.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I tried out but I wasn\u2019t able \u2013 I was too old to get on.\u00a0 I think I would have done great if I\u2019d just passed the age.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, <em>American Idol<\/em> is one thing.\u00a0 Cell phones and sexting are another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, but even \u2013 if I could just say, <em>American Idol<\/em> gives you an opportunity as parents to talk about the lifestyles of the different contestants, what are their values, why do we agree with them, why do we disagree with them?\u00a0 There are times during some of the seasons where we\u2019ve had to turn the TV off because some of the stuff that was on TV was not appropriate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I just want you to know that your kids don\u2019t have to be monks, but they do have to be discerning.\u00a0 And I think that talking to them about what\u2019s appropriate and what\u2019s not appropriate and when Bikini Girl came on on <em>American Idol, <\/em>turning it off.\u00a0 That helps them understand that sexting probably isn\u2019t a good idea either.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 If we\u2019re not looking at a girl in a bikini, we probably shouldn\u2019t be looking at a girl with nothing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think one of the big issues here is the amount of time that\u2019s devoted to all kinds of media.\u00a0 You talk about it being a plugged-in world:\u00a0 our kids are almost never unplugged.\u00a0 They\u2019re in their room listening to music on their iPod or on their computer, they\u2019re watching TV, they\u2019re on the computer while they\u2019re listening to music on their iPod or on their computer.\u00a0 It\u2019s just everywhere all the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what\u2019s one of the most mind-blowing things I found as I was writing this book, is that the people creating this stuff aren\u2019t letting their kids see it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEminem didn\u2019t let his daughter \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re not talking the candy, you\u2019re talking the rapper.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Eminem the rapper, not the \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, some of our listeners don\u2019t know who that is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just wanted to clarify.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 He has some very sexual and sometimes violent lyrics, very terrible language.\u00a0 He wouldn\u2019t let his daughter listen to that, so he created clean versions for her.\u00a0 Madonna didn\u2019t let her kids watch TV.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t want them to see the filth of her in her lesbian kiss with Britney.\u00a0 She wouldn\u2019t let her daughter see that.\u00a0 She took her out of the audience for that particular part of the show.\u00a0 Because they know the impact; they know that what our kids see they want to be and they want to mirror.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust look at E.T. and the sales of Reese\u2019s Pieces, after just making a little trail for a little alien to follow.\u00a0 Our kids will act on what they see and hear and we have to be careful about what they see and hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what age do you allow your daughters to have a cell phone?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, too early.\u00a0 That was one of my regrets.\u00a0 My son got his when he got his driver\u2019s license, and because it was cheap and we were on a family plan, so did my daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 At 16.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 She was 13.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thirteen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Lexi and \u2013 we got Autumn shortly after that, adopted her \u2013 and she got one right away because \u2013 and I would have, if I had it to do over again, I would have waited until they got their drivers\u2019 license, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But there are parents who are listening to us now, and their 13-year-olds or 12-year-olds or 10-year-olds have got a cell phone and they go, \u201cIt\u2019s a great device for keeping track of my kids, knowing where they are, being able to get in touch with them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is a great device, and as soon as they have wheels, I want you to have that ability to control everywhere they are and know everywhere they are.\u00a0 But here\u2019s my concern, what I regret as a mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe value system of my kids is being developed up until the age of 13, and then we\u2019re coaching them, because they\u2019ve already had that planted.\u00a0 You\u2019re too late if you start talking about sex and drugs and everything when they\u2019re 13.\u00a0 They\u2019ve already got a value system before that, whether you like it or not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo from the age of about 13 to 16, I need to be so in contact with them so that I can coach them through the decisions that they\u2019re making to live out their moral value system.\u00a0 And so what I think a cell phone does with texting and all that kind of thing is it removes their need of you.\u00a0 I regret that, personally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And also texting is more difficult to monitor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Monitor, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about that, and then sexting comes next.\u00a0 You quote a study in your book that said girls as young as ten have received sext messages, and girls as young as twelve have sent them.\u00a0 And then you ask the question, \u201cWhat factors motivate it?\u201d\u00a0 82% say it\u2019s to get attention, 59% say it\u2019s to make them popular, and 55% say it\u2019s to get a boyfriend.\u00a0\u00a0 Now, we all know that\u2019s what makes the world go \u2018round in terms of young people and their sexual attraction to one another.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat you\u2019re saying is, as parents we ought to take a step back and say, \u201cWhat kind of devices do we want to put in the hands of our kids to allow them to be plugged in to a worldwide communication system that could be dangerous for their lives?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs parents, I think we\u2019ve got to remain the parents.\u00a0 It\u2019s back to what I said earlier.\u00a0 You cannot abdicate your responsibility as a mom and a dad.\u00a0 You\u2019re not running a popularity contest.\u00a0 You\u2019re not trying to be like everybody else.\u00a0 In fact, if your kid isn\u2019t saying, \u201cOh, Mom, Dad!\u00a0 Everybody does that, everybody gets to have it,\u201d you\u2019re probably flexing way too much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And there\u2019s the verse I\u2019m thinking of here in Ephesians 5 that says, \u201cLook carefully then how you walk.\u201d\u00a0 And that\u2019s a great verse for parents.\u00a0 Be careful about how you walk and how you lead and how you guide, \u201cnot as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are\u201d \u2013 what?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Evil.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cThe days are evil.\u201d\u00a0 We live in what the Bible calls \u201can evil age,\u201d and we\u2019ve got to be on the alert as parents.\u00a0 I think it helps to get the kind of coaching that we\u2019ve had here today and that, Dannah, you provide in your book <em>Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl<\/em>, which we\u2019ve got in our FamilyLifeToday Resource Center, along with your book of <em>Eight Great Dates for Moms and Daughters <\/em>to talk about beauty and fashion and modestyand the other issues that are about to emerge on the radar screen for your daughter if she\u2019s a pre-tween or a tween-age girl.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about <em>Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl, <\/em>and <em>Eight Great Dates for Moms and Daughters.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Dennis, you mentioned the <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> resource earlier in today\u2019s program.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got that in our FamilyLifeToday Resource Center as well.\u00a0 A lot of parents have found that to be very helpful as they prepare their children for the issues they\u2019re going to face in adolescence.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about any of these resources.\u00a0 Or if it\u2019s easier, just pick up the phone and call 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329, that's 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word \u201cToday.\u201d\u00a0 When you get in touch with us, we\u2019ll let you know how you can get a hold of any of these resources and we\u2019ll make arrangements to send them out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tQuickly I want to remind our listeners that today and tomorrow are the last two opportunities you\u2019ll have to register for the upcoming 2012 FamilyLife<em> Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise<\/em> that we\u2019ll be hosting Valentine\u2019s week, February 13-17, leaving from Miami, heading to Grand Bahama Island, to Nassau and to Great Stirrup Cay.\u00a0 We\u2019ll be stopping at those locations, and onboard the boat we\u2019ll have Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Voddie Baucham, Gary Thomas, the author of <em>Sacred Marriage.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll also have musicians like Matthew West and the Annie Moses Band and Michael O\u2019Brien and country music singer Paul Overstreet, all of these folks joining us for what will be a fun getaway for couples, next year, Valentine\u2019s week.\u00a0 If you sign up today or tomorrow, [it\u2019s] your last opportunity to identify as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, and to qualify for a $200 discount on the cruise by typing my name into the promo code box.\u00a0 You have to type \u201cBOB\u201d into the box in order to take advantage of the special offer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click on the link to the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> C<em>ruise<\/em>, sign up, be sure to include my name in the promo code box, and plan to be with us when we set sail next year for the FamilyLife<em> Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 Dannah Gresh is going to be here again, and we\u2019re going to continue talking about how we preserve innocence and purity in the lives of our children, particularly our daughters, so I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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can you protect your daughter's innocence?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-04-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What kind of rules or standards do you have at your house for what your children can and can\u2019t watch on television or in movies?\u00a0 Dannah Gresh says it\u2019s important to have some standards in place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Fifty five percent of tween kids who see mildly sexual content on television, maybe PG or PG-13 movies with just a little bit of that stuff in there, 55% of them are sexually active between the ages of 14 and 16, compared to 6% when they haven\u2019t seen that stuff.\u00a0 That\u2019s huge.\u00a0 And there\u2019s just statistic after statistic that says that we really should be careful about what our kids see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLifeToday<\/em> for Thursday, April 7<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Dannah Gresh joins us today to talk about what we can do as parents to help protect and preserve our children\u2019s innocence and purity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I\u2019m just curious.\u00a0 I have to wonder whether our guest has taken any heat for the title of this book.\u00a0 I mean, as parents we want to protect our children\u2019s innocence, but I can imagine some moms and dads read the title of a book called <em>Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl<\/em> and they think, \u201cOh, you just want to shelter her and have her never grow up.\u201d\u00a0 Right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, let\u2019s ask her.\u00a0 Dannah Gresh joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Dannah, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 It\u2019s good to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Taken any heat?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the funny thing is the title I don\u2019t take heat on, because in almost every mom there\u2019s a little bit of that female intuition that says \u201cI think something\u2019s off here in our culture.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t know why, but I think maybe my daughter shouldn\u2019t be wearing a miniskirt and a belly ring,\u201d but she doesn\u2019t know why.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhere I begin to take heat is where we get into the six specific areas where the research proves that there\u2019s risk associated with letting our daughters grow up too fast in these areas.\u00a0 The worst one, really, is the first one, when I take a stand about what kind of dolls they should or should not be playing with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now wait.\u00a0 You\u2019re saying that to protect your child\u2019s innocence into her teen years you need to pay attention to the doll house?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly what I\u2019m saying.\u00a0 I should back up by saying that one of the most powerful developers of self control in a child is imaginative play, which, if you look at how kids play today, is almost non-existent.\u00a0 People didn\u2019t use to think of play in terms of an object, a toy.\u00a0 They used to think of it in terms of \u201copen the door and let the kids out.\u201d\u00a0 And they went outside and they created cowboys and Indians, or moms and dads with families, or all kinds of things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe thing that happens when our kids experience that is they begin to self-regulate.\u00a0 If, for example, a little girl is role-playing mom, and she\u2019s making sand pancakes and the sand pancake tower falls down, she says to herself, \u201cI really feel like throwing the shovel at the kids, but I\u2019m not sure that\u2019s what a mom would do.\u201d\u00a0 Seriously, that is self-regulation, executive function in the pre-frontal cortex of the brain being enacted.\u00a0 And that is what teaches our kids as adults to have self-control.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dannah, you actually quote a study in your book that compared a child in the 1940s to a child in 2001.\u00a0 That\u2019s fascinating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it was fascinating.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if this is what it\u2019s called, but I call it \u201cThe Great Standing Still Study.\u201d\u00a0 In the 1940s they took three-year-olds, five-year-olds and seven-year-olds, and they asked them to just stand still.\u00a0 There would be a reward at the end if they could stand still.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThree-year-olds couldn\u2019t do it, five-year-olds could give you three minutes, seven-year-olds were indefinite.\u00a0 They would stand there up to an hour if they needed to for the reward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn 2001, three-year-olds still couldn\u2019t do it, five-year-olds behaved like three-year-olds; they could not stand still, and seven-year-olds could only stand still for a total of three minutes.\u00a0 So in not having that imaginative playtime that kids used to have in the olden golden days, they were losing some of that executive function, or self control.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, are you saying \u201cSend them out in the back yard.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let them play with dolls?\u201d\u00a0 Are you saying that dolls are a good way to engage in that kind of imaginative play?\u00a0 Are you pro-doll or anti-doll?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am pro-doll.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dolls are really an important way for little girls to experience not only imaginative play, but play that develops a value for family and nurturing and motherhood.\u00a0 Now in the ages of maybe two to five, I call that the copycat phase of moral development, a little girl should have just a baby doll that she can feed a bottle and change its diapers. She just wants to hold it and cuddle it because she sees Mom nurturing so she wants to be a nurturer.\u00a0 And still little girls today tend to want and moms tend to buy those kind of dolls for two- to five-year-olds.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in the six to 11 year range is when the risk starts to happen, and I see some things that I\u2019m very concerned about.\u00a0 That\u2019s more the counseling phase.\u00a0 That\u2019s when our kids start to ask \u2018Why?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWhy do we do things the way we do?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWhy is a man married to a woman?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWhy does Daddy go to work and Mommy stays home?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll these important questions \u2013 just something as simple as \u201cWhy can\u2019t I have a popsicle before dinner?\u201d\u00a0 These questions develop moral values.\u00a0 During those years moms tend to get caught up in the more popular sensual-looking dolls.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to be \u2013 well, I will be happy to step on some toes today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, here we go.\u00a0 Here we go.\u00a0 Just before we go any further, you might want to go to the bedroom and get your Barbie collection set aside.\u00a0 Because you\u2019re not real big on Barbie, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m not a huge Barbie fan, and I do have Barbies from my childhood that are still in my attic.\u00a0 And I\u2019m not a big Bratz doll fan.\u00a0 I\u2019m not a big Monster \u2013 the Monster Girls doll fan - they\u2019re kind of sensual looking.\u00a0 They\u2019re wearing the fishnet stockings and the miniskirts, but they have kind of a vampire, dark look to them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me tell you why.\u00a0 When they play with dolls that look more sexual, they tend to have a knowledge that they\u2019re supposed to be catching something.\u00a0 Even some of the most left-leaning thinkers, some of the people whose work I\u2019ve studied, they have agreed with me on this doll stuff.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSusan Linn is one who gets on interviews constantly and apologizes profusely for what she\u2019s about to say about dolls, because she\u2019s pro-choice and she believes that women can be empowered and feminists and all this kind of thing, but I really do see that little girls who play with Bratz dolls or the more sexual dolls, tend to have \u2013 she says \u201cthey are put on a conveyer belt to sexuality.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbie?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbie.\u00a0 Could I just tell you the other bone that I\u2019d like to pick with Barbie is that she\u2019s not physically possible.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I understand that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, her neck would be nine inches long.\u00a0 She\u2019d be so top-heavy she\u2019d have to walk on all fours.\u00a0 I mean, there\u2019s that other standard of unattainable beauty there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you know how many people we\u2019ve got listening who go, \u201cI grew up, you grew up playing with Barbies.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did it hurt you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Am I okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, no, now we\u2019re laughing about that, but the first time you appeared on <em>FamilyLife Today?<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was around your story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of hurt in my story.\u00a0 I did end up on a conveyer belt to early sexual activity, and it broke my heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, here\u2019s what I would say to someone who\u2019s kind of pushing back from the radio and who hasn\u2019t turned it off yet.\u00a0 I\u2019d just say you have to take a step back in this culture and just say, \u201cAm I going to be a part of the mindless masses that just enter into a line that get funneled through hearing all these messages and allow my children to hear the same without regard to the consequences of where these choices are leading us as a nation?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are sexualizing our kids at earlier and earlier ages, and we have to push back and go, \u201cAs parents, will we be the parents?\u00a0 Will we appropriately protect the modesty, the innocence, the spiritual condition of our children?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the more popular lines of dolls today has a little controversy with it.\u00a0 That\u2019s the American Girl line of dolls.\u00a0 First you have to be able to qualify for a small loan at the bank to buy them, but then the company \u2013 there\u2019s controversy around the values of that particular company.\u00a0 From a pure doll standpoint I would think you would say that\u2019s the kind of approach you want to take to creative play with your daughters, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 From a pure doll standpoint, yes.\u00a0 And you know what I did when I found out that American Girl was funding organizations that were really the antithesis of my moral values?\u00a0 I found dolls that looked like American Girls that cost a quarter as much.\u00a0 And you know what?\u00a0 My daughter loved them just as much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to go on to the second way to keep the little in your girl.\u00a0 When I read this one, I have to tell you, Dannah, I said, \u201cReally?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re going to talk about this one?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know I\u2019m a guy, and it\u2019s not a guy thing, obviously.\u00a0 It\u2019s something that a young lady only experiences, but why is this important to helping your daughter grow up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you\u2019re going to make me say it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am going to make you say it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, way number two is celebrate her body by punctuating her period.\u00a0 I think this is one of the most critical areas of moral development because it gives us an opportunity as moms to speak into the value of life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s one of the things that scared me as I polled moms as I was writing this chapter.\u00a0 I asked them, \u201cHow many of you had a really frightening experience that first month?\u201d\u00a0 So many of them said that they did, and my research found that something like 40% to 45% of women experienced their first month of menstruation \u2013 Yikes, I can\u2019t believe I said that word \u2013 and never knew about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Never knew what was going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Never knew it was coming.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Nobody prepared them for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Nobody prepared them for it.\u00a0 So what I chose to do when my daughter was younger, when she was about nine years old was I took a very radically different approach.\u00a0 I found four of my friends and I asked them if we could try something new.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI took them into a room after several weeks of building up friendship and opening the Word of God on other less-scary topics, and we showed a little video of a pregnant woman.\u00a0 We were able to see photos of the baby in utero, which were amazing.\u00a0 We spent just a long time talking about that, opening the Scriptures and getting the girls so excited about this.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we said, \u201cGod is soon going to begin to prepare your bodies,\u201d and then we brought out the basket of all the girls\u2019 stuff, including chocolate.\u00a0 And we just talked about all these different things, and we said \u201cThis is going to happen.\u201d\u00a0 Do you know that every one of those girls \u2013 there were five of them \u2013 came to us in great celebration.\u00a0 They wanted to tell their moms, their dads, their brothers, because they thought this was a beautiful gift from God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s amazing!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s part of the reason why we created <em>Passport to Purity<\/em>, which is a weekend getaway for a mother\/daughter or a father\/son.\u00a0 In <em>Passport to Purity,<\/em> one of the CDs in there is an hour-long conversation with my wife,\u00a0 Barbara, and a 10-, 11-, 12-year-old young lady talking with her mother about what to expect.\u00a0 It talks about a woman\u2019s body.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t talk about a young lady\u2019s body in a shaming way, but it talks about it in a way that honors God, because he\u2019s the one that made us male and female.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> is one of my favorite products to recommend to moms of older tweens and young teens, and I think every mom and every dad should do that with their son and daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do, too.\u00a0 There shouldn\u2019t be any 40% of the young ladies whose moms listen to this broadcast enter into puberty without having known in advance what\u2019s about to happen to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s the third way you can help keep the little in your girl?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, if I could just say that this third one was really hard for me to write about, because I think as a mom I haven\u2019t done well with it.\u00a0 It is unplug her from a plugged-in world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I could just say one thing to the mom or even the dad that\u2019s listening that says \u201cI\u2019m such a failure.\u00a0 I\u2019ve given them all the wrong dolls to play with; I haven\u2019t talked to them about their period.\u201d\u00a0 I have felt that way, too.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWriting this book was a great conflict for me because I knew that talking to your kids about what they watch and what they listen to is so critical, but it\u2019s an area where my husband and I bear a lot of guilt because we haven\u2019t done things as well as we would have liked.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well you\u2019ve said that twice now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What haven\u2019t you done?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, as I was writing it and some of the guidelines and some of the risk associated that I learned about in the research \u2013 for example, my kids haven\u2019t experienced this, per se, but 55% of tween kids who see mildly sexual content on television, maybe PG or PG-13 movies with just a little bit of that stuff in there, 55% of them are sexually active between the ages of 14 and 16, compared to 6% when they haven\u2019t seen that stuff.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s huge.\u00a0 And there\u2019s just statistic after statistic that says that we really should be careful about what our kids see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dannah, this is the point, though, where a lot of moms and dads will hear you and they\u2019ll say, \u201cOkay this is one of those sell the TV and move to the country\u201d kinds of statements that says, \u201cThrow up your hands and hide in the cave and hope that it all works out when you come out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, if I could just throw myself out there to be potentially crucified, my family has watched during some seasons <em>American Idol.<\/em>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What you don\u2019t realize is Bob and I, we didn\u2019t do it with our kids, but Bob and I both have watched <em>American Idol.<\/em>\u00a0 I don\u2019t hold any stones to throw at you for watching <em>American Idol<\/em>.\u00a0 Are you finding there\u2019s a push-back?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Some people do, just by virtue of the name.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I tried out but I wasn\u2019t able \u2013 I was too old to get on.\u00a0 I think I would have done great if I\u2019d just passed the age.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, <em>American Idol<\/em> is one thing.\u00a0 Cell phones and sexting are another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, but even \u2013 if I could just say, <em>American Idol<\/em> gives you an opportunity as parents to talk about the lifestyles of the different contestants, what are their values, why do we agree with them, why do we disagree with them?\u00a0 There are times during some of the seasons where we\u2019ve had to turn the TV off because some of the stuff that was on TV was not appropriate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I just want you to know that your kids don\u2019t have to be monks, but they do have to be discerning.\u00a0 And I think that talking to them about what\u2019s appropriate and what\u2019s not appropriate and when Bikini Girl came on on <em>American Idol, <\/em>turning it off.\u00a0 That helps them understand that sexting probably isn\u2019t a good idea either.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 If we\u2019re not looking at a girl in a bikini, we probably shouldn\u2019t be looking at a girl with nothing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think one of the big issues here is the amount of time that\u2019s devoted to all kinds of media.\u00a0 You talk about it being a plugged-in world:\u00a0 our kids are almost never unplugged.\u00a0 They\u2019re in their room listening to music on their iPod or on their computer, they\u2019re watching TV, they\u2019re on the computer while they\u2019re listening to music on their iPod or on their computer.\u00a0 It\u2019s just everywhere all the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what\u2019s one of the most mind-blowing things I found as I was writing this book, is that the people creating this stuff aren\u2019t letting their kids see it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEminem didn\u2019t let his daughter \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re not talking the candy, you\u2019re talking the rapper.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Eminem the rapper, not the \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, some of our listeners don\u2019t know who that is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just wanted to clarify.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 He has some very sexual and sometimes violent lyrics, very terrible language.\u00a0 He wouldn\u2019t let his daughter listen to that, so he created clean versions for her.\u00a0 Madonna didn\u2019t let her kids watch TV.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t want them to see the filth of her in her lesbian kiss with Britney.\u00a0 She wouldn\u2019t let her daughter see that.\u00a0 She took her out of the audience for that particular part of the show.\u00a0 Because they know the impact; they know that what our kids see they want to be and they want to mirror.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust look at E.T. and the sales of Reese\u2019s Pieces, after just making a little trail for a little alien to follow.\u00a0 Our kids will act on what they see and hear and we have to be careful about what they see and hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what age do you allow your daughters to have a cell phone?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, too early.\u00a0 That was one of my regrets.\u00a0 My son got his when he got his driver\u2019s license, and because it was cheap and we were on a family plan, so did my daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 At 16.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 She was 13.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thirteen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Lexi and \u2013 we got Autumn shortly after that, adopted her \u2013 and she got one right away because \u2013 and I would have, if I had it to do over again, I would have waited until they got their drivers\u2019 license, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But there are parents who are listening to us now, and their 13-year-olds or 12-year-olds or 10-year-olds have got a cell phone and they go, \u201cIt\u2019s a great device for keeping track of my kids, knowing where they are, being able to get in touch with them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is a great device, and as soon as they have wheels, I want you to have that ability to control everywhere they are and know everywhere they are.\u00a0 But here\u2019s my concern, what I regret as a mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe value system of my kids is being developed up until the age of 13, and then we\u2019re coaching them, because they\u2019ve already had that planted.\u00a0 You\u2019re too late if you start talking about sex and drugs and everything when they\u2019re 13.\u00a0 They\u2019ve already got a value system before that, whether you like it or not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo from the age of about 13 to 16, I need to be so in contact with them so that I can coach them through the decisions that they\u2019re making to live out their moral value system.\u00a0 And so what I think a cell phone does with texting and all that kind of thing is it removes their need of you.\u00a0 I regret that, personally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And also texting is more difficult to monitor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dannah:<\/strong>\u00a0 Monitor, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about that, and then sexting comes next.\u00a0 You quote a study in your book that said girls as young as ten have received sext messages, and girls as young as twelve have sent them.\u00a0 And then you ask the question, \u201cWhat factors motivate it?\u201d\u00a0 82% say it\u2019s to get attention, 59% say it\u2019s to make them popular, and 55% say it\u2019s to get a boyfriend.\u00a0\u00a0 Now, we all know that\u2019s what makes the world go \u2018round in terms of young people and their sexual attraction to one another.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat you\u2019re saying is, as parents we ought to take a step back and say, \u201cWhat kind of devices do we want to put in the hands of our kids to allow them to be plugged in to a worldwide communication system that could be dangerous for their lives?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs parents, I think we\u2019ve got to remain the parents.\u00a0 It\u2019s back to what I said earlier.\u00a0 You cannot abdicate your responsibility as a mom and a dad.\u00a0 You\u2019re not running a popularity contest.\u00a0 You\u2019re not trying to be like everybody else.\u00a0 In fact, if your kid isn\u2019t saying, \u201cOh, Mom, Dad!\u00a0 Everybody does that, everybody gets to have it,\u201d you\u2019re probably flexing way too much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And there\u2019s the verse I\u2019m thinking of here in Ephesians 5 that says, \u201cLook carefully then how you walk.\u201d\u00a0 And that\u2019s a great verse for parents.\u00a0 Be careful about how you walk and how you lead and how you guide, \u201cnot as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are\u201d \u2013 what?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Evil.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cThe days are evil.\u201d\u00a0 We live in what the Bible calls \u201can evil age,\u201d and we\u2019ve got to be on the alert as parents.\u00a0 I think it helps to get the kind of coaching that we\u2019ve had here today and that, Dannah, you provide in your book <em>Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl<\/em>, which we\u2019ve got in our FamilyLifeToday Resource Center, along with your book of <em>Eight Great Dates for Moms and Daughters <\/em>to talk about beauty and fashion and modestyand the other issues that are about to emerge on the radar screen for your daughter if she\u2019s a pre-tween or a tween-age girl.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about <em>Six Ways to Keep the Little in Your Girl, <\/em>and <em>Eight Great Dates for Moms and Daughters.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Dennis, you mentioned the <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> resource earlier in today\u2019s program.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got that in our FamilyLifeToday Resource Center as well.\u00a0 A lot of parents have found that to be very helpful as they prepare their children for the issues they\u2019re going to face in adolescence.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about any of these resources.\u00a0 Or if it\u2019s easier, just pick up the phone and call 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329, that's 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word \u201cToday.\u201d\u00a0 When you get in touch with us, we\u2019ll let you know how you can get a hold of any of these resources and we\u2019ll make arrangements to send them out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tQuickly I want to remind our listeners that today and tomorrow are the last two opportunities you\u2019ll have to register for the upcoming 2012 FamilyLife<em> Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise<\/em> that we\u2019ll be hosting Valentine\u2019s week, February 13-17, leaving from Miami, heading to Grand Bahama Island, to Nassau and to Great Stirrup Cay.\u00a0 We\u2019ll be stopping at those locations, and onboard the boat we\u2019ll have Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Voddie Baucham, Gary Thomas, the author of <em>Sacred Marriage.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll also have musicians like Matthew West and the Annie Moses Band and Michael O\u2019Brien and country music singer Paul Overstreet, all of these folks joining us for what will be a fun getaway for couples, next year, Valentine\u2019s week.\u00a0 If you sign up today or tomorrow, [it\u2019s] your last opportunity to identify as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, and to qualify for a $200 discount on the cruise by typing my name into the promo code box.\u00a0 You have to type \u201cBOB\u201d into the box in order to take advantage of the special offer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click on the link to the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em> C<em>ruise<\/em>, sign up, be sure to include my name in the promo code box, and plan to be with us when we set sail next year for the FamilyLife<em> Love Like You Mean It Marriage Cruise.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I hope you can be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 Dannah Gresh is going to be here again, and we\u2019re going to continue talking about how we preserve innocence and purity in the lives of our children, particularly our daughters, so I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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