{"id":302234,"date":"2011-03-10T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-03-10T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/manhood-and-spiritual-leadership\/"},"modified":"2011-03-10T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-03-10T17:00:00","slug":"manhood-and-spiritual-leadership","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/manhood-and-spiritual-leadership\/","title":{"rendered":"Manhood and Spiritual Leadership"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Are you taking charge when you need to?  Dennis Rainey reflects on the sin of passivity and gives fours reasons men are passive. Hear some ways men can initiate spiritual leadership in their homes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you taking charge when you need to?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-03-10.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.2M","filesize_raw":"26428016","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2826],"tags":[4284,4868,4698],"podcast_series":[7792],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302234","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-men","tag-father","tag-husband","tag-manhood","podcast_series-stepping-up","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302234\/manhood-and-spiritual-leadership","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302234\/manhood-and-spiritual-leadership","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"k2sEPDbfbl\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/manhood-and-spiritual-leadership\/\">Manhood and Spiritual Leadership<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/manhood-and-spiritual-leadership\/embed\/#?secret=k2sEPDbfbl\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Manhood and Spiritual Leadership&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"k2sEPDbfbl\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-03-10.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-03-10.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What if I failed every time I\u2019ve initiated?\u00a0 Well, the easiest thing to do is nothing and to stop initiating.\u00a0 The reason we fail to initiate is we may have trained our wives to just jump in and do it for us because we haven\u2019t stepped up and taken responsibility for our finances, for the spiritual well-being of our family, for the direction we\u2019re headed as a couple.\u00a0 All of these demand initiative from a man who knows where he\u2019s going.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 10<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to begin today to unpack some of the essentials that make up biblical manhood.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 Do you think men know what it is they\u2019re looking for, they\u2019re aiming for?\u00a0 I mean, do you think they understand what manhood looks like?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I don\u2019t.\u00a0 In fact, I think there is so much taking place in our culture today it is like real manhood, as God designed a man to be, is an elusive goal at best.\u00a0 For most, they have no\u2014they haven\u2019t even got the foggiest idea what that looks like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I remember\u2014this will date me a little bit, but I remember trying to figure it out myself and thinking, \u201cSo, as a real man the tough John Wayne, Rambo, you don\u2019t share your feelings; you just go out and get it done.\u201d\u00a0 Is that a real man?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Don\u2019t eat quiche.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Or is a real man a sensitive, caring, kind of person who is tender and who is kind and who pays attention and listens to the heart of his wife?\u00a0 Is that a real man?\u00a0 We get such mixed messages in the culture that I think that a lot of guys are looking around going, \u201cI want to be a man.\u00a0 I\u2019m just not exactly sure what that means.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I don\u2019t often quote from advertisers, especially advertisers that advertise jeans, as an authority; but I ran across an advertisement for Dockers jeans where I just felt like they nailed it.\u00a0 In fact\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now hang on.\u00a0 I\u2019m wearing Dockers right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, this is a good ad for Dockers jeans, but I want you to listen to this because this appeared in an advertisement for their jeans.\u00a0 You tell me if you don\u2019t feel like they nailed it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOnce upon a time, men wore the pants and wore them well.\u00a0 Women rarely had to open doors, and little old ladies never had to cross the street alone.\u00a0 Men took charge because that is what they did, but somewhere along the way the world decided it no longer needed men.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDisco by disco, latte by foamy non-fat latte, men were stripped of their khakis and left stranded on the road between boyhood and androgyny; but today, there are questions are genderless society has no answers for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I\u2019m going to finish this, Bob, but can you believe this is for jeans?\u00a0 Now I know Dockers makes other things too\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But this is advertising their jeans.\u00a0 They continue: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe world sets idly by as cities crumble, children misbehave, and those little old ladies remain on one side of the street.\u00a0 For the first time since bad guys, we need heroes.\u00a0 We need grown-ups.\u00a0 We need men to put down the plastic forks, step away from the salad bar, and untie the world from the tracks of complacency.\u00a0 It is time for you to get your hands dirty. It is time to answer the call of manhood.\u00a0 It is time to wear the pants.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTalk about politically incorrect.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They\u2019ve been reading your book haven\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t&lt;laughter&gt;\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s what they are saying, and again, an advertisement is not my authority.\u00a0 I\u2019m about to go to Scripture, but they are picking up on the theme of Scripture that there is a lot about manhood that is all about a man taking initiative.\u00a0 Manhood is about initiative.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 Corinthians 16:13-14 talks about standing firm in the faith, acting like men.\u00a0 Be a man, it says.\u00a0 1 Kings 2 David is about to die.\u00a0 He charges his son, Solomon.\u00a0 He says, \u201cShow yourself a man and keep the charge of the Lord your God walking in His ways, keeping His statutes, His commandments, His rules, His testimonies.\u201d\u00a0 I mean, he\u2019s calling his son up: be a man; step up, son; don\u2019t fritter away your manhood on lesser callings.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYet, this culture is sending messages to boys that make the waters incredibly murky.\u00a0 If there is someone that needs to be clarifying what it means to be a real man today, it ought to be followers of Jesus Christ who are tethered to the Scripture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you would say that the Scriptures give us a clear picture of what mature manhood is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 So, unpack it for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, first of all, let me tell you what it isn\u2019t: it\u2019s not passivity.\u00a0 It has been suggested in the Garden in Genesis chapter 3, that when the serpent came to Eve that Adam was standing there.\u00a0 Adam was present, but he did nothing.\u00a0 It has been suggested that perhaps the first sin of man was passivity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you think about it, if initiative is the essence of manhood, could it be that the sin of arrogance and pride of doing nothing and just standing back watching may be the opposite?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think there are three reasons\u2014actually I\u2019m going to give you a bonus reason.\u00a0 Four reasons why men are passive today, they don\u2019t take the initiative.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all, taking the initiative is hard work, and I\u2019m tired.\u00a0 It is the end of the day.\u00a0 I don\u2019t feel like leading my family in a devotion at the dinner table.\u00a0 I don\u2019t feel like putting the kids to bed and serving my wife by helping the kids be tucked in and praying with them.\u00a0 The easiest thing for me to do is to sit in my easy chair and become a giant amoeba and just do nothing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is hard work to lead.\u00a0 Being a man calls us out of our passivity, out of doing nothing into engagement, into serving, into helping others and shouldering the burden with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is not just the end of the day when it is hard work.\u00a0 I mean the beginning of the day, just heading off to work.\u00a0 There are a lot of guys who are checked out of manhood at the very beginning of the day because, frankly, as you\u2019ve said it is taking initiative.\u00a0 That means you\u2019ve got to step up, you\u2019ve got to take some responsibility, you\u2019ve got to go to work\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of guys are going, \u201cWho wants to do that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you want to be a man, it is going to include pain because I promise you, to deny yourself and to abandon yourself to serve others will involve self denial and that does involve pain.\u00a0 No, I don\u2019t like pain.\u00a0 My flesh doesn\u2019t like not getting its own way, but that is a part of being a man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRemember Mark 10:35-45, the disciples came to Jesus and asked how to be great.\u00a0 He basically said, \u201cThe Son of man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.\u201d\u00a0 I think that\u2019s the essence of manhood: serving others, giving up your life for another.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother way men fail to take the initiative is they say, \u201cI don\u2019t know how.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what it means to initiate.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a father who did.\u201d\u00a0 The slate is blank, and so, they use that as an excuse.\u00a0 I would say to a man who didn\u2019t have a father, either present or who didn\u2019t have a father who demonstrated this, \u201cFind a man who does.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo and find a man who\u2019ll practically illustrate and coach you in what that looks like, like interviewing your daughter\u2019s dates.\u00a0 You\u2019ve never perhaps thought about interviewing your daughter\u2019s dates.\u00a0 Well, you know what?\u00a0 There are men who can train you in how to do that.\u00a0 There are books that are written in how to do that to show you how to be a man and how to initiate and how to step into a fearful place and be the man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA third reason why men don\u2019t take the initiative is it means I might fail.\u00a0 What if I failed ever time I\u2019ve initiated or my wife has made me feel like a failure every time I\u2019ve initiated?\u00a0 The easiest thing to do is nothing and stop initiating.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat really leads me to the fourth one: our wives can do it for us.\u00a0 The reason we fail to initiate is we may have trained our wives to just jump in and do it for us because we haven\u2019t stepped up and taken responsibility for our finances, for the spiritual well-being of our family, for the direction we\u2019re heading as a couple.\u00a0 All of these demand initiative from a man who knows where he\u2019s going.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We back off.\u00a0 We don\u2019t assume responsibility.\u00a0 A wife who looks around and says, \u201cThe job\u2019s not getting done,\u201d and starts to feel fear, she\u2019ll step in and do it.\u00a0 That\u2019s what you\u2019re saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 So, the opposite is also true, Bob.\u00a0 Instead of being passive, we initiate.\u00a0 What is one of the things we can initiate as a real man?\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ve taken surveys of more than a hundred thousand people in local churches around the country, and one of the top issues women are looking to their husbands to provide is spiritual leadership of their marriages and their families.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the ways a man can assume responsibility and take initiative for leading his wife spiritually is to begin to pray with her every day.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked about this on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> numerous times.\u00a0 I feel like it\u2019s one of my life messages.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I prayed together last night.\u00a0 It was a short pray.\u00a0 We were both exhausted because of travel.\u00a0 In our case, we have seventeen grandchildren now.\u00a0 We just had the birth of a new little one, Alice Pearl.\u00a0 So, Barbara and I prayed for her last night as we went to bed.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis morning I read in John 4 about Jesus\u2019 interaction with the woman at the well.\u00a0 He made a phenomenal claim.\u00a0 He said I want to give you water, that\u2019s living water.\u00a0 If you take a drink from me, out of your innermost being will flow rivers of living water\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ll never thirst again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Never thirst again.\u00a0 The woman was astounded by this man who told her about her past and seemed to love her and speak genuinely kind to her.\u00a0 At one point, she talked about the Messiah; and he said, \u201cI, who speak to you, am He.\u201d\u00a0 Well, you know what?\u00a0 Praying together is all about coming to the Messiah, Jesus Christ, coming to Him over and over and over again to get a drink of the living water.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you drink from Jesus Christ, out of your life will flow rivers, it says, of living water.\u00a0 If you picture a husband leading his wife spiritually, that means that stream can be rich and deep and crystal clear and pure.\u00a0 It means a man can truly love his wife in a whole new level. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, I think a lot of men don\u2019t love and lead their wives spiritually because they don\u2019t know how.\u00a0 They\u2019ve never had anyone challenge them to do it, and it is as if right now I\u2019m on these steps of manhood and I\u2019m reaching down to a guy who may be straddling manhood and adolescents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 At least in the area of this kind of spiritual leadership you\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 May not be taking the initiative.\u00a0 I\u2019m reaching down and saying, \u201cCome on.\u00a0 Turn your back on adolescents.\u00a0 Turn your life away from excuses.\u00a0 Step up and become the man God made you to be: loving and leading your wife spiritually.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Don\u2019t you think, though, that there are men who are intimidated in this area because they know their own spiritual nature.\u00a0 I mean they think if you\u2019re going to lead somebody spiritually you have to be\u2014well, you\u2019ve got to be ahead of them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of guys look at their wives, and they go, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 Spiritually, she\u2019s ahead of me.\u00a0 I mean she\u2019s got time to go to Bible study fellowship or precept classes.\u00a0 She\u2019s doing more quiet time.\u00a0 I mean, how do I lead her when she\u2019s the one who is farther down the path than I am?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, if you are not involved\u2014I\u2019m speaking now to this man not to you, Bob.\u00a0 If you\u2019re this guy that Bob is talking about, you\u2019ve got to find a Bible study with a group of men that are absolutely being ruthlessly honest about their own lives and digging into the Scriptures to find out how to really become all that God created you to be.\u00a0 There\u2019s a lot of guys today who are not engaged in any kind of a Bible study.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was with a man here recently, and I looked him in the eye.\u00a0 I said, \u201cTell me what\u2019s going on in your life spiritually.\u201d\u00a0 And it was a blank look.\u00a0 Every area of his life is full with business, family, other issues with his life, recreation.\u00a0 Spiritually speaking, there is no food.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s just no margin for that.\u00a0 He says if I\u2019m going to keep the business going and the family demands, I just\u2014I mean I hear you saying get in a Bible study with other guys.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been in a couple of those, and it kind of you know\u2014it didn\u2019t feel great.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t have the margin for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you\u2019ve got to create the margin for it because if you don\u2019t\u2014this is the margin you create to live.\u00a0 It is back to the illustration of Jesus being the one who claimed to be the living waters.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t have time to study about Him and His claims about life and how you as a man ought to live, then how are you going to know how to live as a man?\u00a0 How are you going to know what God expects of you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is instructive to me that as David as dying when he turns to his son, Solomon, it is primarily focused upon the Scripture.\u00a0 He is charging Solomon: follow the law, obey the Scriptures, do all that God has commanded you to do today.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because he said you are going to find life.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t say you\u2019ll find you\u2019ll find the living water, but it might as well be written there.\u00a0 That\u2019s what he\u2019s talking about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the question for men today is \u201cWhere you going to find out about life?\u201d\u00a0 If you\u2019re just punching the clock and doing your forty, fifty, sixty hours a week of work and not taking time to grow spiritually, there are some warnings in the Bible about the man who is not into the meat of the Word.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s not digging into the Scriptures and finding out how it applies to where he is today, to the choices he\u2019s making, and to his responsibilities as a man, husband, father.\u00a0 Maybe a single guy needs to find out what does God expect from me today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, Bob, there is nothing magical, mystical, or spiritual that is going to automatically make you a man of God when you get married to all of the sudden start leading your wife spiritually.\u00a0 In other words, now is the day to begin tracking with other men and growing spiritually with them as a single young man.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you want to know how to love, lead, care for, provide, and nurture your wife and cherish her and provide protection for your family, you need to get busy today as a single man practicing those spiritual disciplines of getting in a Bible study of daily prayer, of growing spiritually as a young man.\u00a0 Marriage will not make you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 So, the guy who says, \u201cAlright, I\u2019m in a Bible study.\u00a0 I am growing.\u00a0 I\u2019m reading my Bible.\u00a0 I\u2019m having a quiet time, but I still feel intimidated with the thought of coming to my wife and saying, \u2018Let\u2019s read this together\u2019 or \u2018Let\u2019s pray.\u2019\u00a0 I think part of the intimidation is she knows the real me.\u00a0 She has seen my feet of clay.\u00a0 For me to come and say, \u2018Well, let\u2019s pray together.\u2019\u00a0 She\u2019s going to think, \u2018Oh, how come you\u2019re all of the sudden so spiritual.\u00a0 You, who I just saw being carnal thirty minutes ago?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yelling at our kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 So, we fail.\u00a0 Who doesn\u2019t fail?\u00a0 We\u2019re not all living out this perfect, cookie-cutter lifestyle of being these perfect, little Christians.\u00a0 If we\u2019re speaking to a wife here who tends to be focused on what her husband does wrong, why don\u2019t you try catching him doing what\u2019s right?\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you, the next time he does something to attempt to lead your family spiritually, say, \u201cSweetheart, that was fantastic.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt may have only been prayer at the dinner table, but you know what?\u00a0 He stepped up and stepped out and provided some spiritual leadership of his family.\u00a0 So, rather than doing it for him as a wife, instead catch him doing it right and cheer him on and don\u2019t always be focusing on where he has failed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You think this issue of a man providing spiritual leadership is central to being fully on that manhood step to really embracing what God\u2019s called us to be as men?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do, Bob.\u00a0 The reason is as men who are standing on this manhood step looking down to our sons who are at various stages of growth, stepping up themselves.\u00a0 They\u2019re locked onto our lives like little radar units: picking up what we\u2019re about, what our values are, what our priorities are.\u00a0 Who we are as men, what we\u2019re attempting to be, and how we\u2019re attempting to lead is caught by our sons.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my favorite poems that was shared here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> a number of years ago by Coach John Wooden, was actually a poem that was given to Coach Wooden.\u00a0 It just reminds us of how powerful a man\u2019s model can be to his family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Coach Wooden [recorded message]:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the poem you\u2019re thinking of was given to me when my son was born in 1936.\u00a0 I finished a project for Harcourt, Brace, and Company.\u00a0 They sent me a picture with a man walking along the seashore and his little son is trying to step in his foot stamps just behind him before the wind brushes them away.\u00a0 There were some lines along the side that said:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA careful man I must always be, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA little fellow follows me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know I dare not go astray, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor fear he\u2019ll go the self same way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI cannot once escape his eyes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat err he sees me do, he tries.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike me, he says he\u2019s going to be, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis little chap who follows me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe thinks that I am good and fine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBelieves in every word of mine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe base in me he must not see, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis little chap who follows me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI must be careful as I go\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThrough summer\u2019s sun and winter\u2019s snow\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause I am building for the years to be \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis little chap who follows me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, as men, it is better for us to fail in an attempt of leading our wives spiritually than doing nothing.\u00a0 Perhaps the greatest and most courageous thing a man who is listening to this broadcast will ever do, will be to take his wife\u2019s hand and say, \u201cI want to lead you in prayer\u201d or \u201cI want us to pray together as a couple.\u201d\u00a0 These are not minor deals.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen a couple bows before Almighty God, their souls can be knit together by the One who made them.\u00a0 It is worth it, just like David\u2019s charge to Solomon: be the man, show yourself strong, obey God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I think a lot of guys miss the fact that our walk with God and our spiritual leadership is central to stepping up.\u00a0 You know they look at kind of the machismo of the culture, and they say, \u201cWell, okay, being a man is all about physical strength.\u00a0 It\u2019s all about daring, courage, or heroism.\u201d\u00a0 We would agree with a lot of those things; but at the core, you\u2019ve got to be God\u2019s man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to be a man who is in pursuit of a right relationship with God in Christ and who is leading others in that direction.\u00a0 Otherwise, it is all about self.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am hopeful that many of our listeners are going to call us this week or go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to get a copy of your new book.\u00a0 It is called <em>Stepping Up\u2014A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>.\u00a0 You can request a copy this week if you help with a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We are listener supported.\u00a0 Those donations are what keep us on this station and on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, this week if you make a donation, we want you to feel free to request a copy of the new book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, by Dennis Rainey.\u00a0 The book is not currently available in stores or on Amazon.\u00a0 So, if you are interested in a copy, you\u2019ll need to contact us.\u00a0 If you\u2019re interested in multiple copies for a men\u2019s study or a group\u2019s study, you can contact us; and we can let you know how you can purchase additional copies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you make a donation this week online at FamilyLifeToday.com, just type the word \u201cSTEPUP\u201d into the online key code box.\u00a0 When we see that, we\u2019ll know to send you a copy of Dennis\u2019 new book.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-Today, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 It\u2019s 1-800- F as in \u201cfamily\u201d, L as in \u201clife\u201d, then the word \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 When you make a donation, just ask for a copy of Dennis\u2019 new book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>; and we\u2019ll send it out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, when we come back, we\u2019re going to talk more about the characteristics of authentic, biblical masculinity.\u00a0 That is coming up tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.2M"],"filesize_raw":["26428016"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302234.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302234.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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you taking charge when you need to?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-03-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What if I failed every time I\u2019ve initiated?\u00a0 Well, the easiest thing to do is nothing and to stop initiating.\u00a0 The reason we fail to initiate is we may have trained our wives to just jump in and do it for us because we haven\u2019t stepped up and taken responsibility for our finances, for the spiritual well-being of our family, for the direction we\u2019re headed as a couple.\u00a0 All of these demand initiative from a man who knows where he\u2019s going.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 10<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to begin today to unpack some of the essentials that make up biblical manhood.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 Do you think men know what it is they\u2019re looking for, they\u2019re aiming for?\u00a0 I mean, do you think they understand what manhood looks like?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I don\u2019t.\u00a0 In fact, I think there is so much taking place in our culture today it is like real manhood, as God designed a man to be, is an elusive goal at best.\u00a0 For most, they have no\u2014they haven\u2019t even got the foggiest idea what that looks like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I remember\u2014this will date me a little bit, but I remember trying to figure it out myself and thinking, \u201cSo, as a real man the tough John Wayne, Rambo, you don\u2019t share your feelings; you just go out and get it done.\u201d\u00a0 Is that a real man?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Don\u2019t eat quiche.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Or is a real man a sensitive, caring, kind of person who is tender and who is kind and who pays attention and listens to the heart of his wife?\u00a0 Is that a real man?\u00a0 We get such mixed messages in the culture that I think that a lot of guys are looking around going, \u201cI want to be a man.\u00a0 I\u2019m just not exactly sure what that means.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I don\u2019t often quote from advertisers, especially advertisers that advertise jeans, as an authority; but I ran across an advertisement for Dockers jeans where I just felt like they nailed it.\u00a0 In fact\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now hang on.\u00a0 I\u2019m wearing Dockers right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, this is a good ad for Dockers jeans, but I want you to listen to this because this appeared in an advertisement for their jeans.\u00a0 You tell me if you don\u2019t feel like they nailed it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOnce upon a time, men wore the pants and wore them well.\u00a0 Women rarely had to open doors, and little old ladies never had to cross the street alone.\u00a0 Men took charge because that is what they did, but somewhere along the way the world decided it no longer needed men.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDisco by disco, latte by foamy non-fat latte, men were stripped of their khakis and left stranded on the road between boyhood and androgyny; but today, there are questions are genderless society has no answers for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I\u2019m going to finish this, Bob, but can you believe this is for jeans?\u00a0 Now I know Dockers makes other things too\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But this is advertising their jeans.\u00a0 They continue: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe world sets idly by as cities crumble, children misbehave, and those little old ladies remain on one side of the street.\u00a0 For the first time since bad guys, we need heroes.\u00a0 We need grown-ups.\u00a0 We need men to put down the plastic forks, step away from the salad bar, and untie the world from the tracks of complacency.\u00a0 It is time for you to get your hands dirty. It is time to answer the call of manhood.\u00a0 It is time to wear the pants.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTalk about politically incorrect.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They\u2019ve been reading your book haven\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t&lt;laughter&gt;\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s what they are saying, and again, an advertisement is not my authority.\u00a0 I\u2019m about to go to Scripture, but they are picking up on the theme of Scripture that there is a lot about manhood that is all about a man taking initiative.\u00a0 Manhood is about initiative.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 Corinthians 16:13-14 talks about standing firm in the faith, acting like men.\u00a0 Be a man, it says.\u00a0 1 Kings 2 David is about to die.\u00a0 He charges his son, Solomon.\u00a0 He says, \u201cShow yourself a man and keep the charge of the Lord your God walking in His ways, keeping His statutes, His commandments, His rules, His testimonies.\u201d\u00a0 I mean, he\u2019s calling his son up: be a man; step up, son; don\u2019t fritter away your manhood on lesser callings.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYet, this culture is sending messages to boys that make the waters incredibly murky.\u00a0 If there is someone that needs to be clarifying what it means to be a real man today, it ought to be followers of Jesus Christ who are tethered to the Scripture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you would say that the Scriptures give us a clear picture of what mature manhood is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 So, unpack it for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, first of all, let me tell you what it isn\u2019t: it\u2019s not passivity.\u00a0 It has been suggested in the Garden in Genesis chapter 3, that when the serpent came to Eve that Adam was standing there.\u00a0 Adam was present, but he did nothing.\u00a0 It has been suggested that perhaps the first sin of man was passivity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you think about it, if initiative is the essence of manhood, could it be that the sin of arrogance and pride of doing nothing and just standing back watching may be the opposite?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think there are three reasons\u2014actually I\u2019m going to give you a bonus reason.\u00a0 Four reasons why men are passive today, they don\u2019t take the initiative.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all, taking the initiative is hard work, and I\u2019m tired.\u00a0 It is the end of the day.\u00a0 I don\u2019t feel like leading my family in a devotion at the dinner table.\u00a0 I don\u2019t feel like putting the kids to bed and serving my wife by helping the kids be tucked in and praying with them.\u00a0 The easiest thing for me to do is to sit in my easy chair and become a giant amoeba and just do nothing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is hard work to lead.\u00a0 Being a man calls us out of our passivity, out of doing nothing into engagement, into serving, into helping others and shouldering the burden with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is not just the end of the day when it is hard work.\u00a0 I mean the beginning of the day, just heading off to work.\u00a0 There are a lot of guys who are checked out of manhood at the very beginning of the day because, frankly, as you\u2019ve said it is taking initiative.\u00a0 That means you\u2019ve got to step up, you\u2019ve got to take some responsibility, you\u2019ve got to go to work\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of guys are going, \u201cWho wants to do that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you want to be a man, it is going to include pain because I promise you, to deny yourself and to abandon yourself to serve others will involve self denial and that does involve pain.\u00a0 No, I don\u2019t like pain.\u00a0 My flesh doesn\u2019t like not getting its own way, but that is a part of being a man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRemember Mark 10:35-45, the disciples came to Jesus and asked how to be great.\u00a0 He basically said, \u201cThe Son of man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.\u201d\u00a0 I think that\u2019s the essence of manhood: serving others, giving up your life for another.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother way men fail to take the initiative is they say, \u201cI don\u2019t know how.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what it means to initiate.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a father who did.\u201d\u00a0 The slate is blank, and so, they use that as an excuse.\u00a0 I would say to a man who didn\u2019t have a father, either present or who didn\u2019t have a father who demonstrated this, \u201cFind a man who does.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo and find a man who\u2019ll practically illustrate and coach you in what that looks like, like interviewing your daughter\u2019s dates.\u00a0 You\u2019ve never perhaps thought about interviewing your daughter\u2019s dates.\u00a0 Well, you know what?\u00a0 There are men who can train you in how to do that.\u00a0 There are books that are written in how to do that to show you how to be a man and how to initiate and how to step into a fearful place and be the man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA third reason why men don\u2019t take the initiative is it means I might fail.\u00a0 What if I failed ever time I\u2019ve initiated or my wife has made me feel like a failure every time I\u2019ve initiated?\u00a0 The easiest thing to do is nothing and stop initiating.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat really leads me to the fourth one: our wives can do it for us.\u00a0 The reason we fail to initiate is we may have trained our wives to just jump in and do it for us because we haven\u2019t stepped up and taken responsibility for our finances, for the spiritual well-being of our family, for the direction we\u2019re heading as a couple.\u00a0 All of these demand initiative from a man who knows where he\u2019s going.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We back off.\u00a0 We don\u2019t assume responsibility.\u00a0 A wife who looks around and says, \u201cThe job\u2019s not getting done,\u201d and starts to feel fear, she\u2019ll step in and do it.\u00a0 That\u2019s what you\u2019re saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 So, the opposite is also true, Bob.\u00a0 Instead of being passive, we initiate.\u00a0 What is one of the things we can initiate as a real man?\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ve taken surveys of more than a hundred thousand people in local churches around the country, and one of the top issues women are looking to their husbands to provide is spiritual leadership of their marriages and their families.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the ways a man can assume responsibility and take initiative for leading his wife spiritually is to begin to pray with her every day.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked about this on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> numerous times.\u00a0 I feel like it\u2019s one of my life messages.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I prayed together last night.\u00a0 It was a short pray.\u00a0 We were both exhausted because of travel.\u00a0 In our case, we have seventeen grandchildren now.\u00a0 We just had the birth of a new little one, Alice Pearl.\u00a0 So, Barbara and I prayed for her last night as we went to bed.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis morning I read in John 4 about Jesus\u2019 interaction with the woman at the well.\u00a0 He made a phenomenal claim.\u00a0 He said I want to give you water, that\u2019s living water.\u00a0 If you take a drink from me, out of your innermost being will flow rivers of living water\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ll never thirst again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Never thirst again.\u00a0 The woman was astounded by this man who told her about her past and seemed to love her and speak genuinely kind to her.\u00a0 At one point, she talked about the Messiah; and he said, \u201cI, who speak to you, am He.\u201d\u00a0 Well, you know what?\u00a0 Praying together is all about coming to the Messiah, Jesus Christ, coming to Him over and over and over again to get a drink of the living water.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you drink from Jesus Christ, out of your life will flow rivers, it says, of living water.\u00a0 If you picture a husband leading his wife spiritually, that means that stream can be rich and deep and crystal clear and pure.\u00a0 It means a man can truly love his wife in a whole new level. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, I think a lot of men don\u2019t love and lead their wives spiritually because they don\u2019t know how.\u00a0 They\u2019ve never had anyone challenge them to do it, and it is as if right now I\u2019m on these steps of manhood and I\u2019m reaching down to a guy who may be straddling manhood and adolescents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 At least in the area of this kind of spiritual leadership you\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 May not be taking the initiative.\u00a0 I\u2019m reaching down and saying, \u201cCome on.\u00a0 Turn your back on adolescents.\u00a0 Turn your life away from excuses.\u00a0 Step up and become the man God made you to be: loving and leading your wife spiritually.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Don\u2019t you think, though, that there are men who are intimidated in this area because they know their own spiritual nature.\u00a0 I mean they think if you\u2019re going to lead somebody spiritually you have to be\u2014well, you\u2019ve got to be ahead of them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of guys look at their wives, and they go, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 Spiritually, she\u2019s ahead of me.\u00a0 I mean she\u2019s got time to go to Bible study fellowship or precept classes.\u00a0 She\u2019s doing more quiet time.\u00a0 I mean, how do I lead her when she\u2019s the one who is farther down the path than I am?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, if you are not involved\u2014I\u2019m speaking now to this man not to you, Bob.\u00a0 If you\u2019re this guy that Bob is talking about, you\u2019ve got to find a Bible study with a group of men that are absolutely being ruthlessly honest about their own lives and digging into the Scriptures to find out how to really become all that God created you to be.\u00a0 There\u2019s a lot of guys today who are not engaged in any kind of a Bible study.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was with a man here recently, and I looked him in the eye.\u00a0 I said, \u201cTell me what\u2019s going on in your life spiritually.\u201d\u00a0 And it was a blank look.\u00a0 Every area of his life is full with business, family, other issues with his life, recreation.\u00a0 Spiritually speaking, there is no food.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s just no margin for that.\u00a0 He says if I\u2019m going to keep the business going and the family demands, I just\u2014I mean I hear you saying get in a Bible study with other guys.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been in a couple of those, and it kind of you know\u2014it didn\u2019t feel great.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t have the margin for it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you\u2019ve got to create the margin for it because if you don\u2019t\u2014this is the margin you create to live.\u00a0 It is back to the illustration of Jesus being the one who claimed to be the living waters.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t have time to study about Him and His claims about life and how you as a man ought to live, then how are you going to know how to live as a man?\u00a0 How are you going to know what God expects of you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is instructive to me that as David as dying when he turns to his son, Solomon, it is primarily focused upon the Scripture.\u00a0 He is charging Solomon: follow the law, obey the Scriptures, do all that God has commanded you to do today.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because he said you are going to find life.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t say you\u2019ll find you\u2019ll find the living water, but it might as well be written there.\u00a0 That\u2019s what he\u2019s talking about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the question for men today is \u201cWhere you going to find out about life?\u201d\u00a0 If you\u2019re just punching the clock and doing your forty, fifty, sixty hours a week of work and not taking time to grow spiritually, there are some warnings in the Bible about the man who is not into the meat of the Word.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s not digging into the Scriptures and finding out how it applies to where he is today, to the choices he\u2019s making, and to his responsibilities as a man, husband, father.\u00a0 Maybe a single guy needs to find out what does God expect from me today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, Bob, there is nothing magical, mystical, or spiritual that is going to automatically make you a man of God when you get married to all of the sudden start leading your wife spiritually.\u00a0 In other words, now is the day to begin tracking with other men and growing spiritually with them as a single young man.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you want to know how to love, lead, care for, provide, and nurture your wife and cherish her and provide protection for your family, you need to get busy today as a single man practicing those spiritual disciplines of getting in a Bible study of daily prayer, of growing spiritually as a young man.\u00a0 Marriage will not make you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 So, the guy who says, \u201cAlright, I\u2019m in a Bible study.\u00a0 I am growing.\u00a0 I\u2019m reading my Bible.\u00a0 I\u2019m having a quiet time, but I still feel intimidated with the thought of coming to my wife and saying, \u2018Let\u2019s read this together\u2019 or \u2018Let\u2019s pray.\u2019\u00a0 I think part of the intimidation is she knows the real me.\u00a0 She has seen my feet of clay.\u00a0 For me to come and say, \u2018Well, let\u2019s pray together.\u2019\u00a0 She\u2019s going to think, \u2018Oh, how come you\u2019re all of the sudden so spiritual.\u00a0 You, who I just saw being carnal thirty minutes ago?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yelling at our kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 So, we fail.\u00a0 Who doesn\u2019t fail?\u00a0 We\u2019re not all living out this perfect, cookie-cutter lifestyle of being these perfect, little Christians.\u00a0 If we\u2019re speaking to a wife here who tends to be focused on what her husband does wrong, why don\u2019t you try catching him doing what\u2019s right?\u00a0 Why don\u2019t you, the next time he does something to attempt to lead your family spiritually, say, \u201cSweetheart, that was fantastic.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt may have only been prayer at the dinner table, but you know what?\u00a0 He stepped up and stepped out and provided some spiritual leadership of his family.\u00a0 So, rather than doing it for him as a wife, instead catch him doing it right and cheer him on and don\u2019t always be focusing on where he has failed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You think this issue of a man providing spiritual leadership is central to being fully on that manhood step to really embracing what God\u2019s called us to be as men?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do, Bob.\u00a0 The reason is as men who are standing on this manhood step looking down to our sons who are at various stages of growth, stepping up themselves.\u00a0 They\u2019re locked onto our lives like little radar units: picking up what we\u2019re about, what our values are, what our priorities are.\u00a0 Who we are as men, what we\u2019re attempting to be, and how we\u2019re attempting to lead is caught by our sons.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my favorite poems that was shared here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> a number of years ago by Coach John Wooden, was actually a poem that was given to Coach Wooden.\u00a0 It just reminds us of how powerful a man\u2019s model can be to his family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Coach Wooden [recorded message]:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the poem you\u2019re thinking of was given to me when my son was born in 1936.\u00a0 I finished a project for Harcourt, Brace, and Company.\u00a0 They sent me a picture with a man walking along the seashore and his little son is trying to step in his foot stamps just behind him before the wind brushes them away.\u00a0 There were some lines along the side that said:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA careful man I must always be, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA little fellow follows me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know I dare not go astray, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor fear he\u2019ll go the self same way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI cannot once escape his eyes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat err he sees me do, he tries.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLike me, he says he\u2019s going to be, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis little chap who follows me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe thinks that I am good and fine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBelieves in every word of mine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe base in me he must not see, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis little chap who follows me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI must be careful as I go\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThrough summer\u2019s sun and winter\u2019s snow\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause I am building for the years to be \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis little chap who follows me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, as men, it is better for us to fail in an attempt of leading our wives spiritually than doing nothing.\u00a0 Perhaps the greatest and most courageous thing a man who is listening to this broadcast will ever do, will be to take his wife\u2019s hand and say, \u201cI want to lead you in prayer\u201d or \u201cI want us to pray together as a couple.\u201d\u00a0 These are not minor deals.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen a couple bows before Almighty God, their souls can be knit together by the One who made them.\u00a0 It is worth it, just like David\u2019s charge to Solomon: be the man, show yourself strong, obey God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I think a lot of guys miss the fact that our walk with God and our spiritual leadership is central to stepping up.\u00a0 You know they look at kind of the machismo of the culture, and they say, \u201cWell, okay, being a man is all about physical strength.\u00a0 It\u2019s all about daring, courage, or heroism.\u201d\u00a0 We would agree with a lot of those things; but at the core, you\u2019ve got to be God\u2019s man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to be a man who is in pursuit of a right relationship with God in Christ and who is leading others in that direction.\u00a0 Otherwise, it is all about self.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am hopeful that many of our listeners are going to call us this week or go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to get a copy of your new book.\u00a0 It is called <em>Stepping Up\u2014A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>.\u00a0 You can request a copy this week if you help with a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We are listener supported.\u00a0 Those donations are what keep us on this station and on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, this week if you make a donation, we want you to feel free to request a copy of the new book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, by Dennis Rainey.\u00a0 The book is not currently available in stores or on Amazon.\u00a0 So, if you are interested in a copy, you\u2019ll need to contact us.\u00a0 If you\u2019re interested in multiple copies for a men\u2019s study or a group\u2019s study, you can contact us; and we can let you know how you can purchase additional copies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you make a donation this week online at FamilyLifeToday.com, just type the word \u201cSTEPUP\u201d into the online key code box.\u00a0 When we see that, we\u2019ll know to send you a copy of Dennis\u2019 new book.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-Today, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 It\u2019s 1-800- F as in \u201cfamily\u201d, L as in \u201clife\u201d, then the word \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 When you make a donation, just ask for a copy of Dennis\u2019 new book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>; and we\u2019ll send it out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, when we come back, we\u2019re going to talk more about the characteristics of authentic, biblical masculinity.\u00a0 That is coming up tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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