{"id":302232,"date":"2011-03-08T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-03-08T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/guiding-your-son-through-boyhood\/"},"modified":"2011-03-08T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-03-08T17:00:00","slug":"guiding-your-son-through-boyhood","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/guiding-your-son-through-boyhood\/","title":{"rendered":"Guiding Your Son Through Boyhood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A boy without a father is like an explorer without a map.  Dennis Rainey gives dads four compass points to guide their sons through boyhood, answering a son&#8217;s questions, &#8220;What is wise or foolish?,&#8221; &#8220;How do I love others?&#8221;, &#8220;Who am I?&#8221; and &#8220;Why am I here?&#8221;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A boy without a father is like an explorer without a map.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-03-08.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"27.7M","filesize_raw":"29046929","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2826],"tags":[4284,4868,4698],"podcast_series":[7792],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302232","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-men","tag-father","tag-husband","tag-manhood","podcast_series-stepping-up","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302232\/guiding-your-son-through-boyhood","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302232\/guiding-your-son-through-boyhood","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"dSBfT9YI8k\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/guiding-your-son-through-boyhood\/\">Guiding Your Son Through Boyhood<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/guiding-your-son-through-boyhood\/embed\/#?secret=dSBfT9YI8k\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Guiding Your Son Through Boyhood&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"dSBfT9YI8k\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-03-08.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-03-08.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat sense of being lost is what a boy can feel growing up today without a father guiding him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, March 8<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about what we can do to help boys get pointed on the right path and pointed in the right direction as they step up to manhood.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition.\u00a0 Just wondering what\u2019s in the water there at the Rainey house?\u00a0 Your wife writes this devotional for families around courage.\u00a0 Now, you\u2019ve got this book for men on courageous manhood.\u00a0 Are they spiking you with something out there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know it is in the country.\u00a0 There is no telling.\u00a0 I do think Barbara and I have been preaching to one another.\u00a0 Do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just sense a little bit of this passion in your souls to see men, women, and children kind of step up and be courageous.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, I think this culture is robbing us of our courage.\u00a0 I think it is discouraging us.\u00a0 I think many are losing heart in well-doing as a result.\u00a0 If there has ever been a time when, frankly, men needed to be encouraged, I believe it\u2019s today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, now, this is a theme that has been simmering in your heart for almost a decade, maybe longer than a decade, as you\u2019ve been in a number of settings challenging men to step up to courageous manhood.\u00a0 Now, you\u2019ve written a book that\u2019s called <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou break the book down\u2014this is interesting\u2014into six sections to help orient guys to the progression that you\u2019re calling them to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We do.\u00a0 The first section is just all about courage.\u00a0 Then, each of the following five sections are about the steps: stepping up to boyhood, adolescents, manhood, mentor, and patriarch.\u00a0 Each of those six sections of the book begin with a story of courage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me ask you about boys stepping up to boyhood.\u00a0 It seems like boyhood is something that just kind of happens to you.\u00a0 It\u2019s not something that as a boy you\u2019re all that intentional about.\u00a0 In fact, you\u2019re just kind of going through life, and the question is are you heeding direction or are you just following your own impulses?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I clipped a cartoon out of a magazine that had a picture of a five year old boy barefoot and no shirt in cutoff jeans walking down a dusty, dirty road.\u00a0 He had two cats that he was carrying, whose tails were tied together.\u00a0 He was carrying them, you know, where the tails kind of were caught in the crook of his arm.\u00a0 The caption on the cartoon read, \u201cAnd he was bound to acquire experience rapidly.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t&lt;laughter&gt;\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what boyhood is all about.\u00a0 He\u2019s growing up through the childish years getting all this experience, but what has to happen?\u00a0 He has to have an older man in his life directing that experience.\u00a0 So, that as he grows from boyhood into adolescence, there is character there; there\u2019s the wisdom to know the right from wrong and enough of a conscience that he can begin to turn away from evil and make right choices.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoyhood does just seem like a time when life does happen to him, but it\u2019s a time when every boy needs a father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Tragically, we live a culture where there are a lot of boys who don\u2019t have fathers.\u00a0 If a boy doesn\u2019t have a father or someone stepping in to provide direction, to say, \u201cHere\u2019s where manhood is, come on follow me. Come this direction,\u201d then, the carnal impulses take over and what you have is masculinity gone amok.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 <em>Newsweek<\/em>, a few years back, ran an article called \u201cThe Trouble with Boys.\u201d\u00a0 They said in that article that one of the most reliable predictors of whether a boy will succeed or fail in high school rests upon a single question, one question: does he have a man in his life to look up to?\u00a0 Unfortunately, in many cases, the answer is no.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI ran across this quote.\u00a0 I\u2019ve not been able to find out who said it, but it has a pound of wisdom in it.\u00a0 It says, \u201cA boy without a father is like an explorer without a map.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s what a boy is.\u00a0 He\u2019s starting out life, and it\u2019s uncharted.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t have the experience to know how to deal with it.\u00a0 Who is he going to look to, to gain the experience he needs to know how to navigate the valleys, the danger spots, the mountains?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is a lot of life that just happens to us, but as we know, there is a lot of evil that can occur in a boy and for that matter a teenager\u2019s life before they make it to manhood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t think when I became a father for the first time that I understood the responsibility of calling sons to manhood.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know that I understood that mantle being put on my shoulders.\u00a0 Did your dad assume that responsibility in your life?\u00a0 Did he understand what it was that God had called him to do, do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is one of the more fascinating stories of my life, Bob.\u00a0 My dad had a profound impact on my life, but I have no idea where he got the training to do it because his dad deserted him as a boy.\u00a0 He was in his early teenage years when his dad basically abandoned the family of eight children and kind of went his own way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI grew up in a town of thirteen hundred people\u2014I like to say I had a big dad in a small town.\u00a0 My dad was big in my life because he was involved in my life.\u00a0 He coached my little league team.\u00a0 The first game we got beat twenty-two to nothing to the Early Birds.\u00a0 Three years later we played them for the semi-finals.\u00a0 If we\u2019d won, we\u2019d gone on to the championship of our age group.\u00a0 They beat us again, but it was only three to two.\u00a0 Now, isn\u2019t it interesting that I can remember that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, the reason I remember that is I had a dad.\u00a0 I\u2019ve still got this picture of all of us: scruffy, little, little league baseball players.\u00a0 I had a dad who was standing right in the middle of the picture.\u00a0 Not that the focus was on him.\u00a0 He was on the back row, but he was the coach.\u00a0 He knew how to coach us in the fundamentals.\u00a0 He taught me more than just the fundamentals of baseball; he taught me the fundamentals of life, of obedience to God, of having a character that has integrity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe modeled it.\u00a0 His life was granite solid.\u00a0 It was amazing as I became a father like you\u2019re talking about, Bob, how many times I would go back to pictures of my father who was steady, who didn\u2019t leave, who didn\u2019t abandon me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know as I say this there are a bunch of our listeners who didn\u2019t have something like that.\u00a0 They\u2019ve had to pick up that mentoring of an older man in their life from another man, but every boy today needs a dad who sees that young lad as his responsibility.\u00a0 I have no question that my dad loved me and that my dad was doing his best with what he\u2019d been given to train me to be ready for life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When I was a kid, I remember going to the dentist office.\u00a0 The only thing I liked about the dentist office is they had a subscription to <em>Highlights<\/em> magazine.\u00a0 Do you remember <em>Highlights<\/em> for kids?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It had puzzles\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And games and cartoons.\u00a0 In every <em>Highlights<\/em> magazine, there was a cartoon series called <em>Goofus and Gallant<\/em>.\u00a0 It was two boys.\u00a0 One, Goofus, was always making foolish decisions; and Gallant was making wise decisions.\u00a0 It was really a cartoon instructing in character.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve thought about that since.\u00a0 I\u2019ve thought young boys growing up need to be pointed in the direction of character because their natural inclinations aren\u2019t going to lead them in that direction.\u00a0 That is part of the responsibility a dad has.\u00a0 For a boy to step into wise boyhood, they need to say, \u201cI\u2019m going to listen to the wisdom of a father or of older men and follow in their footsteps.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, the book of Proverbs is all about that.\u00a0 It is all about an older, wiser father speaking into the life of a boy calling his son to step up.\u00a0 Now, it doesn\u2019t say in the Proverbs step up to manhood, but it is all over the pages.\u00a0 Calling him away from foolishness to\u2014was that Goofus?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 To step up to wisdom, to Gallant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Gallant.\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 To Gallant.\u00a0 If he\u2019s going to do that, he needs an older man whose arm is around him.\u00a0 You know I can still remember watching the game of the week with my dad on Saturday afternoon.\u00a0 My dad worked hard.\u00a0 He worked five days a week and a half a day on Saturday.\u00a0 Some days he would work all day on Saturday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would go to sleep with him there in the living room on that couch with his arm around me.\u00a0 I can still remember the hairs on his hand and his arm kind of touching my boyish face.\u00a0 You know there is something about that that builds security, stability, direction.\u00a0 As we grow up, it\u2019s what we call upon as we face our own challenges in life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget going deer hunting a number of years ago.\u00a0 I used to laugh at people who would get lost in the woods.\u00a0 Have you ever been lost by the way?\u00a0 Really lost in the woods?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve never been that deep into the woods.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t&lt;laughter&gt;\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You stayed away from the woods.\u00a0 Well, you know what?\u00a0 That\u2019s a good way not to be lost.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I got lost, Bob.\u00a0 I went in circles because I began to notice where I had been.\u00a0 There were no markers.\u00a0 The land was flat, it was cold, and the sun was going down.\u00a0 I remember praying and going, \u201cLord, I\u2019m lost.\u00a0 I need help.\u00a0 I need to get out of here.\u201d\u00a0 I admit that I was on the verge of panic.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, this was like\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014twenty, twenty-five years ago.\u00a0 When I finally stumbled out onto a logging road where I knew where I was, I was thrilled.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a GPS on me.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a compass.\u00a0 I had no way to tell where to go or how to get out of there.\u00a0 Well, you know what?\u00a0 That sense of being lost is what a boy can feel growing up today without a father guiding him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to give dads just real quickly four points of direction to guide their sons.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just call them compass points.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Compass point number one, character: train your son in what is wise and also what is foolish.\u00a0 We just talked about the book of Proverbs.\u00a0 That is what it is about.\u00a0 Wisdom is skill in everyday living as God designed it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think as a dad you have to keep in mind that your son is naturally going to be drawn to foolishness.\u00a0 \u201cFoolishness is bound up,\u201d Proverbs says, \u201cin the heart of a child.\u201d\u00a0 As a dad, you\u2019re going to have to use up a variety of means to call him away from foolishness and to godly character.\u00a0 He is not going to be naturally inclined in that direction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll never forget going to my dad\u2019s place of work.\u00a0 If he said this to me one time, he said it a hundred times, \u201cSon, these people are working.\u00a0 Do not bother them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t&lt;laughter&gt;\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I just had a blast walking through the office talking to everybody because my dad owned the little company, you know.\u00a0 \u201cSon, I want you to know they\u2019re at work.\u00a0 Don\u2019t bother\u2014\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Leave them alone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201c\u2014the people.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a very minor foolishness; but nonetheless, it\u2019s is foolishness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second point for our compasses are relationships: how do I love others?\u00a0 The first one talks about our character: people being able to trust us that what we say is good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What kind of person am I? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How we love other people is how we relate to them, care for them; how we\u2019re gentle with them, kind with them, forgive them, resolving conflicts with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, what you\u2019re saying is that a father has a responsibility to help a son understand how to have healthy relationships with other people: with women, with siblings, with friends.\u00a0 Just understand how to relate to people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your family is a laboratory, and you\u2019re training your son how to live life and how to love other people.\u00a0 Some of the lessons you are going to pass on to your sons are going to be out of your mistakes.\u00a0 When you make a mistake and you have to ask your wife to forgive you in front of your kids, as I have done on more than one occasion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn those occasions, some of them I would turn to the kids.\u00a0 I would say, \u201cYou know, you\u2019re not going to remember your dad was perfect; but I do hope what you remember about him is that when he made a mistake and hurt another person, he was enough of a man that he could admit it and ask that other person to forgive him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIdentity is the third one.\u00a0 That answers the question, who am I?\u00a0 There are multiple areas today where that\u2019s got to be addressed with a boy.\u00a0 One is \u201cWho is he in relationship with God?\u201d because it is only as he determines who God is in the Scriptures in his relationship to Jesus Christ that he is going to have a proper identity of who he is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s also the issue of sexual identity and what does it mean to be a boy and not a girl?\u00a0 What does it mean to be a man and not a woman?\u00a0 He is getting his first cues from his father as to how comfortable his father is in his own sexuality and how he treats his wife in terms of courtesies, in terms of serving her, in terms of her distinct femininity as a woman.\u00a0 It is really those snapshots that a boy catches growing up in his home where he gets his first picture of what is a man and how does a man relate comfortably with a woman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, identity revolves around sexual identity; but you also said spiritual identity, understanding that your nature is prone to sin and that you are in need of a Savior and understanding who God is and the fact that life is to be lived for Him.\u00a0 What is the last point on the compass?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it has to do with our mission and why am I here.\u00a0 What is my purpose?\u00a0 Ephesians 2:10 talks about \u201cWe\u2019re His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works that He prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget a boy that my sons used to have over to the house, and I\u2019ll call him Mark.\u00a0 His mom had, had four husbands.\u00a0 Mark had not known a man in his life to be there consistently.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what prompted me one day, but I looked him in the eye; and I said, \u201cMark, God has a plan for you being here.\u00a0 He has got something very, very powerful for you to do with your life if you\u2019ll but walk with Him and know Him and set Christ apart in your heart as Savior and Lord.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was interesting that was early in my adolescent sons\u2019 lives.\u00a0 Mark continued to track with our kids all the way until his senior year, and he did some pretty dumb things.\u00a0 Our paths crossed again.\u00a0 I had to kind of pull our sons away and say, \u201cYou know I don\u2019t think it would be wise to continue to spend time with Mark.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was interesting Mark ran into me at school one day; and he said, \u201cMr. Rainey, I noticed that your sons are no longer running around with me.\u00a0 I thought you believed that God had a plan for my life.\u201d\u00a0 Now, Bob, this is four years later.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWords to a young lad, especially a young lad growing up in the confusing years of adolescence, can be used in that boy\u2019s life to really center him and begin to set him on a course where maybe he begins to think about his life as something other than just on the human level; maybe he is created in the image of God; and there are spiritual purposes to his life that he needs to fulfill.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA father, I believe, can have an enormous impact in his son\u2019s life reminding him of the truth about himself: that God has a plan for him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019re really back to the map illustration that you used earlier.\u00a0 If a young child, if a young son, doesn\u2019t have compass points\u2014doesn\u2019t have a map to point him in a direction, he will wander aimlessly and often wind up in a place that is not a good place.\u00a0 It is a dad\u2019s responsibility to point him in the right direction and to give him those compass points; so, that where he winds up is a good place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 What a dad needs to understand is he possesses the DNA of life.\u00a0 If you as a father are walking with Jesus Christ and you\u2019re in the Book, the Bible, you possess that DNA to pass on to your sons to show them how to live.\u00a0 I love a poem that was written by General Douglas MacArthur because, as you might imagine as a general, he had a goal in mind especially for his son.\u00a0 Let me just share this poem that I include in the book:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBuild me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBuild me a son whose wishbone will not be where his backbone should be;\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ta son who will know Thee\u2014and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and the spur of difficulties and challenge.\u00a0 Here, let him learn to stand up in the storm; here, let him learn compassion for those who fail.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBuild me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGive him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, listen to how this general concludes this prayer and his poem:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Then, I, his father, will dare to whisper, \u201cI have not lived in vain.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere isn\u2019t a dad listening to us right now who doesn\u2019t understand the heart of that general because you want to impart the DNA of life and a sense of direction to our boys; so, they aren\u2019t caught off guard, but they live effective lives for Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think one of the things that causes dads to shrink back sometimes is that they lack confidence in their own direction.\u00a0 They\u2019re not sure they are pointing in the right direction.\u00a0 That is one of the reasons, I think, your book is going to be so helpful for so many of us because it gives us a clear picture of what the path to manhood looks like, what authentic, biblical manhood is.\u00a0 Then, it takes us passed that to see that just being God\u2019s man is not where things stop, but God has a design for us even beyond that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to encourage our listeners.\u00a0 This week we are making your book available to those who can help support the ministry with a donation.\u00a0 All you have to do is go online to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Make an online donation or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 When you do, you can request a copy of Dennis\u2019s new book, <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, the book is not available in stores or on Amazon; so, the only place you can get a copy is from us here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Make an online donation.\u00a0 When you do, type the word \u201cSTEPUP,\u201d all as one word in the key code box on the online donation form.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 Just ask for a copy of the book, <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>, by Dennis Rainey; and we\u2019ll get it sent out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re interested in multiple copies of the book, either for a men\u2019s group study or for whatever other reason you\u2019re interested in ordering additional copies, you can find the details for how to purchase additional copies online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow we\u2019re going to talk about the transitional phase of adolescence that phase in between boyhood and manhood.\u00a0 Just how long should a young man stay in that phase?\u00a0 What does that look like to pass through it?\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["27.7M"],"filesize_raw":["29046929"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302232.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302232.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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boy without a father is like an explorer without a map.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-03-08.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat sense of being lost is what a boy can feel growing up today without a father guiding him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, March 8<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about what we can do to help boys get pointed on the right path and pointed in the right direction as they step up to manhood.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition.\u00a0 Just wondering what\u2019s in the water there at the Rainey house?\u00a0 Your wife writes this devotional for families around courage.\u00a0 Now, you\u2019ve got this book for men on courageous manhood.\u00a0 Are they spiking you with something out there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know it is in the country.\u00a0 There is no telling.\u00a0 I do think Barbara and I have been preaching to one another.\u00a0 Do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just sense a little bit of this passion in your souls to see men, women, and children kind of step up and be courageous.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, I think this culture is robbing us of our courage.\u00a0 I think it is discouraging us.\u00a0 I think many are losing heart in well-doing as a result.\u00a0 If there has ever been a time when, frankly, men needed to be encouraged, I believe it\u2019s today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, now, this is a theme that has been simmering in your heart for almost a decade, maybe longer than a decade, as you\u2019ve been in a number of settings challenging men to step up to courageous manhood.\u00a0 Now, you\u2019ve written a book that\u2019s called <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou break the book down\u2014this is interesting\u2014into six sections to help orient guys to the progression that you\u2019re calling them to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We do.\u00a0 The first section is just all about courage.\u00a0 Then, each of the following five sections are about the steps: stepping up to boyhood, adolescents, manhood, mentor, and patriarch.\u00a0 Each of those six sections of the book begin with a story of courage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me ask you about boys stepping up to boyhood.\u00a0 It seems like boyhood is something that just kind of happens to you.\u00a0 It\u2019s not something that as a boy you\u2019re all that intentional about.\u00a0 In fact, you\u2019re just kind of going through life, and the question is are you heeding direction or are you just following your own impulses?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I clipped a cartoon out of a magazine that had a picture of a five year old boy barefoot and no shirt in cutoff jeans walking down a dusty, dirty road.\u00a0 He had two cats that he was carrying, whose tails were tied together.\u00a0 He was carrying them, you know, where the tails kind of were caught in the crook of his arm.\u00a0 The caption on the cartoon read, \u201cAnd he was bound to acquire experience rapidly.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t&lt;laughter&gt;\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what boyhood is all about.\u00a0 He\u2019s growing up through the childish years getting all this experience, but what has to happen?\u00a0 He has to have an older man in his life directing that experience.\u00a0 So, that as he grows from boyhood into adolescence, there is character there; there\u2019s the wisdom to know the right from wrong and enough of a conscience that he can begin to turn away from evil and make right choices.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBoyhood does just seem like a time when life does happen to him, but it\u2019s a time when every boy needs a father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Tragically, we live a culture where there are a lot of boys who don\u2019t have fathers.\u00a0 If a boy doesn\u2019t have a father or someone stepping in to provide direction, to say, \u201cHere\u2019s where manhood is, come on follow me. Come this direction,\u201d then, the carnal impulses take over and what you have is masculinity gone amok.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 <em>Newsweek<\/em>, a few years back, ran an article called \u201cThe Trouble with Boys.\u201d\u00a0 They said in that article that one of the most reliable predictors of whether a boy will succeed or fail in high school rests upon a single question, one question: does he have a man in his life to look up to?\u00a0 Unfortunately, in many cases, the answer is no.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI ran across this quote.\u00a0 I\u2019ve not been able to find out who said it, but it has a pound of wisdom in it.\u00a0 It says, \u201cA boy without a father is like an explorer without a map.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s what a boy is.\u00a0 He\u2019s starting out life, and it\u2019s uncharted.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t have the experience to know how to deal with it.\u00a0 Who is he going to look to, to gain the experience he needs to know how to navigate the valleys, the danger spots, the mountains?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is a lot of life that just happens to us, but as we know, there is a lot of evil that can occur in a boy and for that matter a teenager\u2019s life before they make it to manhood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t think when I became a father for the first time that I understood the responsibility of calling sons to manhood.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know that I understood that mantle being put on my shoulders.\u00a0 Did your dad assume that responsibility in your life?\u00a0 Did he understand what it was that God had called him to do, do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is one of the more fascinating stories of my life, Bob.\u00a0 My dad had a profound impact on my life, but I have no idea where he got the training to do it because his dad deserted him as a boy.\u00a0 He was in his early teenage years when his dad basically abandoned the family of eight children and kind of went his own way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI grew up in a town of thirteen hundred people\u2014I like to say I had a big dad in a small town.\u00a0 My dad was big in my life because he was involved in my life.\u00a0 He coached my little league team.\u00a0 The first game we got beat twenty-two to nothing to the Early Birds.\u00a0 Three years later we played them for the semi-finals.\u00a0 If we\u2019d won, we\u2019d gone on to the championship of our age group.\u00a0 They beat us again, but it was only three to two.\u00a0 Now, isn\u2019t it interesting that I can remember that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, the reason I remember that is I had a dad.\u00a0 I\u2019ve still got this picture of all of us: scruffy, little, little league baseball players.\u00a0 I had a dad who was standing right in the middle of the picture.\u00a0 Not that the focus was on him.\u00a0 He was on the back row, but he was the coach.\u00a0 He knew how to coach us in the fundamentals.\u00a0 He taught me more than just the fundamentals of baseball; he taught me the fundamentals of life, of obedience to God, of having a character that has integrity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe modeled it.\u00a0 His life was granite solid.\u00a0 It was amazing as I became a father like you\u2019re talking about, Bob, how many times I would go back to pictures of my father who was steady, who didn\u2019t leave, who didn\u2019t abandon me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know as I say this there are a bunch of our listeners who didn\u2019t have something like that.\u00a0 They\u2019ve had to pick up that mentoring of an older man in their life from another man, but every boy today needs a dad who sees that young lad as his responsibility.\u00a0 I have no question that my dad loved me and that my dad was doing his best with what he\u2019d been given to train me to be ready for life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When I was a kid, I remember going to the dentist office.\u00a0 The only thing I liked about the dentist office is they had a subscription to <em>Highlights<\/em> magazine.\u00a0 Do you remember <em>Highlights<\/em> for kids?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It had puzzles\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And games and cartoons.\u00a0 In every <em>Highlights<\/em> magazine, there was a cartoon series called <em>Goofus and Gallant<\/em>.\u00a0 It was two boys.\u00a0 One, Goofus, was always making foolish decisions; and Gallant was making wise decisions.\u00a0 It was really a cartoon instructing in character.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve thought about that since.\u00a0 I\u2019ve thought young boys growing up need to be pointed in the direction of character because their natural inclinations aren\u2019t going to lead them in that direction.\u00a0 That is part of the responsibility a dad has.\u00a0 For a boy to step into wise boyhood, they need to say, \u201cI\u2019m going to listen to the wisdom of a father or of older men and follow in their footsteps.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, the book of Proverbs is all about that.\u00a0 It is all about an older, wiser father speaking into the life of a boy calling his son to step up.\u00a0 Now, it doesn\u2019t say in the Proverbs step up to manhood, but it is all over the pages.\u00a0 Calling him away from foolishness to\u2014was that Goofus?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 To step up to wisdom, to Gallant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Gallant.\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 To Gallant.\u00a0 If he\u2019s going to do that, he needs an older man whose arm is around him.\u00a0 You know I can still remember watching the game of the week with my dad on Saturday afternoon.\u00a0 My dad worked hard.\u00a0 He worked five days a week and a half a day on Saturday.\u00a0 Some days he would work all day on Saturday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would go to sleep with him there in the living room on that couch with his arm around me.\u00a0 I can still remember the hairs on his hand and his arm kind of touching my boyish face.\u00a0 You know there is something about that that builds security, stability, direction.\u00a0 As we grow up, it\u2019s what we call upon as we face our own challenges in life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget going deer hunting a number of years ago.\u00a0 I used to laugh at people who would get lost in the woods.\u00a0 Have you ever been lost by the way?\u00a0 Really lost in the woods?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve never been that deep into the woods.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t&lt;laughter&gt;\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You stayed away from the woods.\u00a0 Well, you know what?\u00a0 That\u2019s a good way not to be lost.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I got lost, Bob.\u00a0 I went in circles because I began to notice where I had been.\u00a0 There were no markers.\u00a0 The land was flat, it was cold, and the sun was going down.\u00a0 I remember praying and going, \u201cLord, I\u2019m lost.\u00a0 I need help.\u00a0 I need to get out of here.\u201d\u00a0 I admit that I was on the verge of panic.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, this was like\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014twenty, twenty-five years ago.\u00a0 When I finally stumbled out onto a logging road where I knew where I was, I was thrilled.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a GPS on me.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a compass.\u00a0 I had no way to tell where to go or how to get out of there.\u00a0 Well, you know what?\u00a0 That sense of being lost is what a boy can feel growing up today without a father guiding him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to give dads just real quickly four points of direction to guide their sons.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just call them compass points.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Compass point number one, character: train your son in what is wise and also what is foolish.\u00a0 We just talked about the book of Proverbs.\u00a0 That is what it is about.\u00a0 Wisdom is skill in everyday living as God designed it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think as a dad you have to keep in mind that your son is naturally going to be drawn to foolishness.\u00a0 \u201cFoolishness is bound up,\u201d Proverbs says, \u201cin the heart of a child.\u201d\u00a0 As a dad, you\u2019re going to have to use up a variety of means to call him away from foolishness and to godly character.\u00a0 He is not going to be naturally inclined in that direction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll never forget going to my dad\u2019s place of work.\u00a0 If he said this to me one time, he said it a hundred times, \u201cSon, these people are working.\u00a0 Do not bother them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t&lt;laughter&gt;\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I just had a blast walking through the office talking to everybody because my dad owned the little company, you know.\u00a0 \u201cSon, I want you to know they\u2019re at work.\u00a0 Don\u2019t bother\u2014\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Leave them alone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201c\u2014the people.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a very minor foolishness; but nonetheless, it\u2019s is foolishness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second point for our compasses are relationships: how do I love others?\u00a0 The first one talks about our character: people being able to trust us that what we say is good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What kind of person am I? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How we love other people is how we relate to them, care for them; how we\u2019re gentle with them, kind with them, forgive them, resolving conflicts with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, what you\u2019re saying is that a father has a responsibility to help a son understand how to have healthy relationships with other people: with women, with siblings, with friends.\u00a0 Just understand how to relate to people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your family is a laboratory, and you\u2019re training your son how to live life and how to love other people.\u00a0 Some of the lessons you are going to pass on to your sons are going to be out of your mistakes.\u00a0 When you make a mistake and you have to ask your wife to forgive you in front of your kids, as I have done on more than one occasion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn those occasions, some of them I would turn to the kids.\u00a0 I would say, \u201cYou know, you\u2019re not going to remember your dad was perfect; but I do hope what you remember about him is that when he made a mistake and hurt another person, he was enough of a man that he could admit it and ask that other person to forgive him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIdentity is the third one.\u00a0 That answers the question, who am I?\u00a0 There are multiple areas today where that\u2019s got to be addressed with a boy.\u00a0 One is \u201cWho is he in relationship with God?\u201d because it is only as he determines who God is in the Scriptures in his relationship to Jesus Christ that he is going to have a proper identity of who he is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s also the issue of sexual identity and what does it mean to be a boy and not a girl?\u00a0 What does it mean to be a man and not a woman?\u00a0 He is getting his first cues from his father as to how comfortable his father is in his own sexuality and how he treats his wife in terms of courtesies, in terms of serving her, in terms of her distinct femininity as a woman.\u00a0 It is really those snapshots that a boy catches growing up in his home where he gets his first picture of what is a man and how does a man relate comfortably with a woman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, identity revolves around sexual identity; but you also said spiritual identity, understanding that your nature is prone to sin and that you are in need of a Savior and understanding who God is and the fact that life is to be lived for Him.\u00a0 What is the last point on the compass?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it has to do with our mission and why am I here.\u00a0 What is my purpose?\u00a0 Ephesians 2:10 talks about \u201cWe\u2019re His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works that He prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget a boy that my sons used to have over to the house, and I\u2019ll call him Mark.\u00a0 His mom had, had four husbands.\u00a0 Mark had not known a man in his life to be there consistently.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what prompted me one day, but I looked him in the eye; and I said, \u201cMark, God has a plan for you being here.\u00a0 He has got something very, very powerful for you to do with your life if you\u2019ll but walk with Him and know Him and set Christ apart in your heart as Savior and Lord.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was interesting that was early in my adolescent sons\u2019 lives.\u00a0 Mark continued to track with our kids all the way until his senior year, and he did some pretty dumb things.\u00a0 Our paths crossed again.\u00a0 I had to kind of pull our sons away and say, \u201cYou know I don\u2019t think it would be wise to continue to spend time with Mark.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was interesting Mark ran into me at school one day; and he said, \u201cMr. Rainey, I noticed that your sons are no longer running around with me.\u00a0 I thought you believed that God had a plan for my life.\u201d\u00a0 Now, Bob, this is four years later.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWords to a young lad, especially a young lad growing up in the confusing years of adolescence, can be used in that boy\u2019s life to really center him and begin to set him on a course where maybe he begins to think about his life as something other than just on the human level; maybe he is created in the image of God; and there are spiritual purposes to his life that he needs to fulfill.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA father, I believe, can have an enormous impact in his son\u2019s life reminding him of the truth about himself: that God has a plan for him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019re really back to the map illustration that you used earlier.\u00a0 If a young child, if a young son, doesn\u2019t have compass points\u2014doesn\u2019t have a map to point him in a direction, he will wander aimlessly and often wind up in a place that is not a good place.\u00a0 It is a dad\u2019s responsibility to point him in the right direction and to give him those compass points; so, that where he winds up is a good place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 What a dad needs to understand is he possesses the DNA of life.\u00a0 If you as a father are walking with Jesus Christ and you\u2019re in the Book, the Bible, you possess that DNA to pass on to your sons to show them how to live.\u00a0 I love a poem that was written by General Douglas MacArthur because, as you might imagine as a general, he had a goal in mind especially for his son.\u00a0 Let me just share this poem that I include in the book:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBuild me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid; one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBuild me a son whose wishbone will not be where his backbone should be;\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ta son who will know Thee\u2014and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and the spur of difficulties and challenge.\u00a0 Here, let him learn to stand up in the storm; here, let him learn compassion for those who fail.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBuild me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high; a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men; one who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep; one who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor, so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGive him humility, so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, listen to how this general concludes this prayer and his poem:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Then, I, his father, will dare to whisper, \u201cI have not lived in vain.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere isn\u2019t a dad listening to us right now who doesn\u2019t understand the heart of that general because you want to impart the DNA of life and a sense of direction to our boys; so, they aren\u2019t caught off guard, but they live effective lives for Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think one of the things that causes dads to shrink back sometimes is that they lack confidence in their own direction.\u00a0 They\u2019re not sure they are pointing in the right direction.\u00a0 That is one of the reasons, I think, your book is going to be so helpful for so many of us because it gives us a clear picture of what the path to manhood looks like, what authentic, biblical manhood is.\u00a0 Then, it takes us passed that to see that just being God\u2019s man is not where things stop, but God has a design for us even beyond that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to encourage our listeners.\u00a0 This week we are making your book available to those who can help support the ministry with a donation.\u00a0 All you have to do is go online to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Make an online donation or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 When you do, you can request a copy of Dennis\u2019s new book, <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, the book is not available in stores or on Amazon; so, the only place you can get a copy is from us here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Make an online donation.\u00a0 When you do, type the word \u201cSTEPUP,\u201d all as one word in the key code box on the online donation form.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 Just ask for a copy of the book, <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>, by Dennis Rainey; and we\u2019ll get it sent out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re interested in multiple copies of the book, either for a men\u2019s group study or for whatever other reason you\u2019re interested in ordering additional copies, you can find the details for how to purchase additional copies online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow we\u2019re going to talk about the transitional phase of adolescence that phase in between boyhood and manhood.\u00a0 Just how long should a young man stay in that phase?\u00a0 What does that look like to pass through it?\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302232","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302232"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302232"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302232"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302232"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302232"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302232"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302232"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}