{"id":302219,"date":"2011-02-18T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-02-18T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-impact-of-a-special-needs-child-on-a-marriage\/"},"modified":"2011-02-18T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-02-18T17:00:00","slug":"the-impact-of-a-special-needs-child-on-a-marriage","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-impact-of-a-special-needs-child-on-a-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"The Impact of a Special Needs Child on a Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The demands of a special needs child often impact a marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-02-18.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"27.12M","filesize_raw":"28442050","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2090],"tags":[5167,4798,4177],"podcast_series":[7789],"cwp_profile":[9224],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302219","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-special-needs-child","tag-autism","tag-kids","tag-special-needs","podcast_series-your-child-and-the-autism-spectrum","cwp_profile-laura-hendrickson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302219\/the-impact-of-a-special-needs-child-on-a-marriage","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302219\/the-impact-of-a-special-needs-child-on-a-marriage","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"lNsYhE97SC\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-impact-of-a-special-needs-child-on-a-marriage\/\">The Impact of a Special Needs Child on a Marriage<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-impact-of-a-special-needs-child-on-a-marriage\/embed\/#?secret=lNsYhE97SC\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Impact of a Special Needs Child on a Marriage&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"lNsYhE97SC\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-02-18.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-02-18.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t long after Dr. Laura Hendrickson\u2019s son, Eric, was born that he was diagnosed with severe autism.\u00a0 Eric\u2019s condition put a terrible strain on Laura\u2019s marriage; but there was still more to come.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Eric was eight when I was diagnosed with cancer.\u00a0 By that time, Eric was doing better.\u00a0 We were through the early-intervention years and he was speaking, but you can imagine my terror when they told me that I had a 40 percent chance of living five years.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cWhat is going to happen to my son?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 18th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey; and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will hear from Dr. Laura Hendrickson today about seeing God\u2019s hand clearly in the midst of very difficult circumstances.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 When parents face the challenge of a child with special needs\u2014we have been talking this week about autism in particular\u2014but whatever the special need is, the husband or wife often process that differently.\u00a0 Sometimes that challenge, instead of bringing them together, can press them apart and create a great strain in the marriage relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t have God\u2019s plan for marriage\u2014and we talk about this at the Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaways\u2014how in the midst of suffering, it reveals the foundation that you have been building your marriage on.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t have that foundation in place when something like autism comes into your family, then let me tell you something:\u00a0 There is going to be some challenging days for a husband and a wife to remain one.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We have heard a story this week.\u00a0 We need to welcome our guest back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDr. Laura Hendrickson joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Laura, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is great to be back, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We have heard you share this week about your son, Eric.\u00a0 He was diagnosed with autism when he was two-and-a-half years old.\u00a0 You shared how you faced those challenges and tried everything you could to try to help Eric.\u00a0 In God\u2019s kindness, he has made great progress on the autism spectrum to where he can function at a level that, frankly, is unusual for an autistic child who is now 21- 22-years old?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I am curious about the challenges that placed in your marriage relationship.\u00a0 How long had you been married when Eric was born?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Eric was born about three years after our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Okay.\u00a0 If you were to describe your marriage in those first three years before you had a child, what kinds of words would you use to describe it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Rocky.\u00a0 It was rocky right from the start.\u00a0 When a baby came into the mix, that added another complicating factor to an already difficult marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You married later in life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How much of a spiritual foundation did you and your husband have as a couple?\u00a0 Would you say you were healthy spiritually\u2014growing as a couple, as individuals?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We lived separate spiritual lives.\u00a0 My faith was very important to me, but I didn\u2019t see any evidence that my husband\u2019s faith was important to him.\u00a0 He went to church.\u00a0 He participated in church events that I wanted to participate in; but if I had said on a given Sunday, \u201cI don\u2019t want to go to church,\u201d he would have said, \u201cFine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll stay home.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Was he excited when you were pregnant with Eric and when that pregnancy was being carried to term; because you miscarried prior to Eric being conceived, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 I miscarried three times.\u00a0 He was eager to have another child.\u00a0 He already had three adult children from a previous marriage.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t have the same desire that I had, but he was eager to have a child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did you have any apprehension about bringing children into your marriage?\u00a0 Had the Honeymoon worn off to such a degree that you had some fears?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think I had a lot of denial.\u00a0 I really believed that everything was going to be alright.\u00a0 For me, having a child was the most important thing.\u00a0 I think my desire blinded me to warning signs that I certainly would point out if I saw them in any of my counselees.\u00a0 It is like everyone else was seeing Eric was different before I did.\u00a0 When it is something that really matters to you, you can be pretty blind.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>On the day your son, Eric, was diagnosed in the doctor\u2019s office, just a few weeks short of his third birthday, was your husband there with you in the doctor\u2019s office that day?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How did you break the news to him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I told him what the doctor said.\u00a0 He said, \u201cWe\u2019ll deal with it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He didn\u2019t bear your burdens with you?\u00a0 He didn\u2019t attempt to comfort your soul in the midst of that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think I cried.\u00a0 I think he held me; but really, it was my problem.\u00a0 He lived for his work.\u00a0 It was my problem.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So you basically shouldered this load alone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I didn\u2019t just shoulder it alone\u2014the way he dealt with his feelings was by producing chaos in our lives.\u00a0 He started tearing the house apart\u2014\u201cRemodeling,\u201d he called it.\u00a0 Only, things stayed torn apart a long time before they started getting put back together again.\u00a0 That made it\u2014not only was he not helping\u2014he was making it harder.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You actually were cooking with an electric skillet because you didn\u2019t have a range or a stove.\u00a0 You were doing the dishes, where?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>In the bathtub.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>All this occurring within days and weeks after the diagnosis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There had also been some incidents of violence that had emerged in your marriage, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 The first time that happened\u2014Eric was one\u2014we didn\u2019t know that he was autistic yet.\u00a0 I was usually very careful with what I said because I could see he was easily upset.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said a terrible thing.\u00a0 What I said was inexcusable.\u00a0 It was bad, but he strangled me.\u00a0 I remember thinking, \u201cI am going to die.\u00a0 There is nobody to save me.\u201d\u00a0 Then, he let me go.\u00a0 It was time to go to work.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was working as a psychiatrist.\u00a0 I picked up the baby and went out of the house.\u00a0 I told a co-worker who was a social worker.\u00a0 She told me I couldn\u2019t go back.\u00a0 In fact, she let me move into her home.\u00a0 I took out a restraining order.\u00a0 I did all of the right things you are supposed to do in a situation like this.\u00a0 Then, when it was time to go to court about the restraining order, the women\u2019s group that was helping me told me I didn\u2019t need a lawyer unless my husband was going to bring one.\u00a0 He said he wasn\u2019t going to.\u00a0 Then he showed up with one at the hearing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe judge really mistreated me from the bench.\u00a0 Later on, my husband told me with a broad smile that the judge and his lawyer were good friends.\u00a0 The judge told me that if I wanted to get divorced\u2014I wasn\u2019t at the place where I wanted to get divorced\u2014but this kind of closed my sense that I had any options off.\u00a0 He told me that if I filed for divorce, I would be bringing that to his court.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat night, I went home and called my husband and invited him to come home.\u00a0 After that, I thought, \u201cI am going to have to find a way to make it work.\u201d\u00a0 After that, there was violence; but I never took out a restraining order again.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There was more violence?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It was a few years after that when you were diagnosed with cancer.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Eric was eight when I was diagnosed with cancer.\u00a0 By that time, Eric was doing better.\u00a0 We were through the early-intervention years and he was speaking, but you can imagine my terror when they told me that I had a 40 percent chance of living five years.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cWhat is going to happen to my son?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI clung to the fact that God is good and that if I went home to be with Him, it would be the best thing for everyone\u2014not just for me, but for everyone.\u00a0 It was really hard to trust.\u00a0 I did another one of those things that people do when they are struggling with trust.\u00a0 I begged God to show me how long I would live.\u00a0 When I was persuaded that He showed me that I would live ten years, which would bring Eric up to age 18, then I was able to rest.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t ultimately rest in God\u2019s goodness and His working out everything right for everyone.\u00a0 Instead, I rested in my sense that I would be there long enough.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I have listened to this story\u2014Barbara and I have been married now for over 38 years.\u00a0 We have been through our valleys; we have had our struggles.\u00a0 I do understand for a couple\u2014because we process suffering and difficulty through different grids\u2014how we can tend to spin off in our own direction.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI cannot imagine raising an autistic son during those formative years of the elementary years and then junior high and high school alone.\u00a0 That is really what you did.\u00a0 You had to shoulder that responsibility by yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Really, my husband was working against many of the things I was trying to do.\u00a0 Although he never agreed that he didn\u2019t have saving faith, everything he really believed beyond the creeds that we might recite at church was in opposition to real Christian life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So what did you do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Tried harder.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But as a woman\u2014I mean\u2014you had to be from a human perspective\u2014you got married for companionship.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 You laugh at that because it didn\u2019t happen; did it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is so funny because I was 35 years old before I got married.\u00a0 I thought that being single was the worst thing that could happen to me.\u00a0 I am so thankful that I have my son.\u00a0 Please, don\u2019t misunderstand me.\u00a0 I am so thankful to have him, but being single was better than being married the way that I was married.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did you have in the midst of that, any seasons of hope where you thought, \u201cMaybe we are starting to see a turn?\u00a0 Maybe this marriage can be what I hoped it would be when I said, \u2018I do.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes.\u00a0 I would regularly say, \u201cNow he believes.\u00a0 Now it is going to be different.\u00a0 Now it is going to be better.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Based on what?\u00a0 What kinds of things would cause you to hope that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He could be very kind.\u00a0 He was always very charming.\u00a0 He would give the shirt off his back to people outside of the family.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to dishonor him by talking about how things really were for many, many years.\u00a0 I finally got the elders at my church involved and realized it was not just me because they were not able to persuade him to live a different way either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You said it wasn\u2019t just you.\u00a0 Looking back, you say that you can see things that if you were living it again, you would do differently\u2014not necessarily that it would change the outcome\u2014but just in terms of how you live before God in the situation, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes.\u00a0 I turned into such a control freak between trying to keep Eric\u2019s behavior under control\u2014particularly the years that he had autism\u2014and trying to persuade my husband not to go off on the things that he did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe didn\u2019t do those things to hurt me.\u00a0 I am persuaded that the reason why he focused on remodeling, or on his work, or on anything like that was that he probably felt terribly inadequate and maybe intimidated.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think he was trying to hurt me when he brought chaos into our lives; and yet, that was the result.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Laura, I have heard you say that for a mom who has had a child who is born with autism, that it almost betrays our rational mind to think this way; but she really needs to think of ways\u2014not only to address the autism in her child\u2014but also how she can engage her husband around the problem and develop his soul\u2014help challenge him and his faith and his knowledge of God\u2014to draw him closer to his child\u2014his son\u2014in that case.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely.\u00a0 So much of this was my failure.\u00a0 I felt\u2014both of us felt that parenting Eric was my job.\u00a0 I wanted him to help me in the ways that I wanted to be helped, and I wanted him to come alongside in the ways that I wanted him to come alongside.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell you, even though I was looking at Eric with great care, trying to understand what he needed, I wasn\u2019t doing that for my husband.\u00a0 It would have been such a good thing if I could have said to myself, \u201cI need to find ways to help him feel like he is important in Eric\u2019s life,\u201d or maybe, \u201cHe is generating chaos because that gives him a problem that he feels like he can manage.\u201d\u00a0 I never thought that way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that is one of my big failures beyond the usual wifely things that I didn\u2019t always respond lovingly\u2014that I sinned with my speech\u2014I didn\u2019t honor his headship in all the ways I ought to have.\u00a0 I did all of that stuff, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You lived with the chaos in your marriage for a lot of years before you\u2014as you said\u2014you went to the elders of your church.\u00a0 First of all, why didn\u2019t you go sooner?\u00a0 Secondly, it takes a lot of guts to even go in the first place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I didn\u2019t want anybody to know how we were really living.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Nobody had a clue?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Not by that time.\u00a0 Not by that time.\u00a0 I had confided in girlfriends in the early years; but then, I became convinced that I was gossiping\u2014that I could be making the problem bigger by bringing other people into it.\u00a0 I prayed and tried to keep it completely private.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe ended up going to a church that was affiliated with the counseling center where we were receiving some totally unhelpful marriage counseling at the time.\u00a0 The counselor who had been counseling us, who was also an elder at the church then, knew what the problems were.\u00a0 Bringing it to the elders wasn\u2019t as difficult as it would have been if that door hadn\u2019t already been opened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We have already heard from wives who have gone to elder boards looking for help and have been sent home and told to, \u201cEndure.\u00a0 Submit.\u00a0 We can\u2019t believe your husband is a problem.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I had been in three churches before that where exactly that happened.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t go to elder boards.\u00a0 I went to pastors, and that was what I was told\u2014that I just needed to try harder.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But this elder board heard you and got involved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They worked with us very intensively.\u00a0 We worked with them for five or six years before they finally told my husband that they didn\u2019t believe he had saving faith and excommunicated him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They disciplined him out of the church?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>First, there was discipline\u2014escalating levels of discipline.\u00a0 Then, ultimately, it was failure to respond to the discipline that caused them to say, \u201cWe don\u2019t believe you have saving faith,\u201d and they excommunicated him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The dissolution of your marriage followed that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>As I am listening to your story, Laura, I am just reminded of how isolation not only can kill a marriage, it can also rob a person of perspective, and hope, and help.\u00a0 One of the greatest tragedies is for a woman to be abused, or to be neglected, or to be in a marriage like you are talking about and not having anyone to confide in\u2014anyone to be a fellow burden-bearer to shoulder that load with her and to protect her, not only physically, but also spiritually, and also to protect the family as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs imperfect as the church is and as the Christian community is\u2014this is where we have got to engage them\u2014even at the risk of what you experienced of them telling you and giving you bad counsel.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what the hope of a woman like you would be here on the planet because it is clear God gave us the Christian community\u2014the church\u2014the body of Christ\u2014to come alongside us in situations like this and to give us perspective, wise counsel, and help develop a plan.\u00a0 To go through a trial of raising an autistic child by yourself\u2014as you have shared\u2014I have heard you talk about what you did wrong a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We all do many things wrong, don\u2019t we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I am sure you did do some things wrong there; but I think in the midst of that, it would have been so much better had someone been alongside you\u2014maybe a couple of really good, wise, godly friends who offered you perspective from the Scripture\u2014to have coached and encouraged you so that maybe at the points when you would beat yourself up\u2014and you shouldn\u2019t be doing that\u2014you really do develop a healthy faith in God and also use the body of Christ to be able to address your situation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI personally really appreciate you and your work\u2014your book\u2014helping to address the needs of autistic children and their parents in raising them.\u00a0 I appreciate you sharing your story here of what happened in your marriage and, of course, what ultimately led to a divorce, which I am really sorry about and I know you are, too.\u00a0 There is a God who cares.\u00a0 He does intercept life with us.\u00a0 In these moments, we need to turn to Him.\u00a0 I just appreciate you modeling that for us.\u00a0 Thanks for being with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I would like to just say that even when we are alone, God comes alongside us and ministers to us.\u00a0 I believe I am the person I am\u2014who doesn\u2019t beat up on herself like that anymore\u2014because the Lord showed me through the meltdown of my own life where I really need to be putting my hope and taught me to stop looking at myself and to look to Him in faith.\u00a0 Even these terrible experiences have been a crucible in which God has developed my faith.\u00a0 I give thanks to Him for all of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The good news is that that journey of faith, even though it takes us down what can be a very rocky path at times, it is still a path of grace.\u00a0 We still meet God there.\u00a0 In fact, sometimes in ways that we would not meet Him in the higher elevations.\u00a0 I think you have modeled that well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think you have written about it well in the book that you have written, <em>Finding Your Child\u2019s Way on the Autism Spectrum<\/em>, where you share some of your story.\u00a0 You have shared a little bit more with us here this week, and we appreciate your being on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf our listeners are interested in a copy of your book, let me encourage them to go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 In fact, let me encourage you, if you do know somebody who is raising an autistic son or daughter\u2014get them a copy of this book as a gift.\u00a0 You can find out more about it as you go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou will also find a copy of Emily Colson\u2019s book called <em>Dancing with Max<\/em>, which is her reflection of a very similar story\u2014raising her autistic son.\u00a0 You and she have some very similar experiences along that path.\u00a0 Again, find out more about Laura Hendrickson\u2019s book and Emily Colson\u2019s book\u2014both of them on raising autistic children\u2014when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com or when you call 1-800-FLTODAY (1-800-358-6329).\u00a0 That is 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know for many of our listeners\u2014when we hear stories like this\u2014the recurring question that we keep coming back to us, \u201cHow can God redeem a situation like this?\u00a0 How can He have any divine purpose that is accomplished through the kinds of things we have talked about this week?\u201d\u00a0 I think you have modeled well that it can and does happen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is still that fundamental question that crops up in people\u2019s minds about the goodness of God and His purposes in the midst of suffering.\u00a0 We have a booklet we would like to send you if that is a question that continues to challenge you.\u00a0 We will send it to you at no cost.\u00a0 It is written by our friend, Randy Alcorn, who has been a guest on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou may be new to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and have not heard us have conversations on topics like this.\u00a0 Contact us and get a free copy of this 64-page booklet called \u201cIf God Is Good, Why Do We Hurt?\u201d by Randy Alcorn.\u00a0 We are happy to send it out to you.\u00a0 We ask that you limit it to one booklet per family or per household.\u00a0 Only request one when you go online or when you call us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Our toll-free number is 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 Again, ask for the booklet, \u201cIf God Is Good, Why Do We Hurt?\u201d\u00a0 We are happy to send it to you, and we appreciate your listening to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>We hope you find this booklet helpful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend.\u00a0 I hope you can join us back on Monday.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMary Kassian is going to be here.\u00a0 She is an author and speaker.\u00a0 We are going to confront some of the\u2014well, what shall I say?\u2014some of the muddle-headed thinking in the minds of some women of what will bring fulfillment, and joy, and happiness in life.\u00a0 Mary has written a book called <em>Girls Gone Wise<\/em>.\u00a0 We will talk about the way of wisdom as you pursue biblical womanhood.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that conversation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back on Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["27.12M"],"filesize_raw":["28442050"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302219.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302219.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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demands of a special needs child often impact a marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-02-18.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t long after Dr. Laura Hendrickson\u2019s son, Eric, was born that he was diagnosed with severe autism.\u00a0 Eric\u2019s condition put a terrible strain on Laura\u2019s marriage; but there was still more to come.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Eric was eight when I was diagnosed with cancer.\u00a0 By that time, Eric was doing better.\u00a0 We were through the early-intervention years and he was speaking, but you can imagine my terror when they told me that I had a 40 percent chance of living five years.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cWhat is going to happen to my son?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 18th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey; and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will hear from Dr. Laura Hendrickson today about seeing God\u2019s hand clearly in the midst of very difficult circumstances.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 When parents face the challenge of a child with special needs\u2014we have been talking this week about autism in particular\u2014but whatever the special need is, the husband or wife often process that differently.\u00a0 Sometimes that challenge, instead of bringing them together, can press them apart and create a great strain in the marriage relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t have God\u2019s plan for marriage\u2014and we talk about this at the Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaways\u2014how in the midst of suffering, it reveals the foundation that you have been building your marriage on.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t have that foundation in place when something like autism comes into your family, then let me tell you something:\u00a0 There is going to be some challenging days for a husband and a wife to remain one.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We have heard a story this week.\u00a0 We need to welcome our guest back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDr. Laura Hendrickson joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Laura, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is great to be back, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We have heard you share this week about your son, Eric.\u00a0 He was diagnosed with autism when he was two-and-a-half years old.\u00a0 You shared how you faced those challenges and tried everything you could to try to help Eric.\u00a0 In God\u2019s kindness, he has made great progress on the autism spectrum to where he can function at a level that, frankly, is unusual for an autistic child who is now 21- 22-years old?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I am curious about the challenges that placed in your marriage relationship.\u00a0 How long had you been married when Eric was born?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Eric was born about three years after our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Okay.\u00a0 If you were to describe your marriage in those first three years before you had a child, what kinds of words would you use to describe it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Rocky.\u00a0 It was rocky right from the start.\u00a0 When a baby came into the mix, that added another complicating factor to an already difficult marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You married later in life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How much of a spiritual foundation did you and your husband have as a couple?\u00a0 Would you say you were healthy spiritually\u2014growing as a couple, as individuals?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We lived separate spiritual lives.\u00a0 My faith was very important to me, but I didn\u2019t see any evidence that my husband\u2019s faith was important to him.\u00a0 He went to church.\u00a0 He participated in church events that I wanted to participate in; but if I had said on a given Sunday, \u201cI don\u2019t want to go to church,\u201d he would have said, \u201cFine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll stay home.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Was he excited when you were pregnant with Eric and when that pregnancy was being carried to term; because you miscarried prior to Eric being conceived, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 I miscarried three times.\u00a0 He was eager to have another child.\u00a0 He already had three adult children from a previous marriage.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t have the same desire that I had, but he was eager to have a child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did you have any apprehension about bringing children into your marriage?\u00a0 Had the Honeymoon worn off to such a degree that you had some fears?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think I had a lot of denial.\u00a0 I really believed that everything was going to be alright.\u00a0 For me, having a child was the most important thing.\u00a0 I think my desire blinded me to warning signs that I certainly would point out if I saw them in any of my counselees.\u00a0 It is like everyone else was seeing Eric was different before I did.\u00a0 When it is something that really matters to you, you can be pretty blind.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>On the day your son, Eric, was diagnosed in the doctor\u2019s office, just a few weeks short of his third birthday, was your husband there with you in the doctor\u2019s office that day?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How did you break the news to him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I told him what the doctor said.\u00a0 He said, \u201cWe\u2019ll deal with it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He didn\u2019t bear your burdens with you?\u00a0 He didn\u2019t attempt to comfort your soul in the midst of that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think I cried.\u00a0 I think he held me; but really, it was my problem.\u00a0 He lived for his work.\u00a0 It was my problem.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So you basically shouldered this load alone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I didn\u2019t just shoulder it alone\u2014the way he dealt with his feelings was by producing chaos in our lives.\u00a0 He started tearing the house apart\u2014\u201cRemodeling,\u201d he called it.\u00a0 Only, things stayed torn apart a long time before they started getting put back together again.\u00a0 That made it\u2014not only was he not helping\u2014he was making it harder.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You actually were cooking with an electric skillet because you didn\u2019t have a range or a stove.\u00a0 You were doing the dishes, where?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>In the bathtub.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>All this occurring within days and weeks after the diagnosis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There had also been some incidents of violence that had emerged in your marriage, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 The first time that happened\u2014Eric was one\u2014we didn\u2019t know that he was autistic yet.\u00a0 I was usually very careful with what I said because I could see he was easily upset.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said a terrible thing.\u00a0 What I said was inexcusable.\u00a0 It was bad, but he strangled me.\u00a0 I remember thinking, \u201cI am going to die.\u00a0 There is nobody to save me.\u201d\u00a0 Then, he let me go.\u00a0 It was time to go to work.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was working as a psychiatrist.\u00a0 I picked up the baby and went out of the house.\u00a0 I told a co-worker who was a social worker.\u00a0 She told me I couldn\u2019t go back.\u00a0 In fact, she let me move into her home.\u00a0 I took out a restraining order.\u00a0 I did all of the right things you are supposed to do in a situation like this.\u00a0 Then, when it was time to go to court about the restraining order, the women\u2019s group that was helping me told me I didn\u2019t need a lawyer unless my husband was going to bring one.\u00a0 He said he wasn\u2019t going to.\u00a0 Then he showed up with one at the hearing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe judge really mistreated me from the bench.\u00a0 Later on, my husband told me with a broad smile that the judge and his lawyer were good friends.\u00a0 The judge told me that if I wanted to get divorced\u2014I wasn\u2019t at the place where I wanted to get divorced\u2014but this kind of closed my sense that I had any options off.\u00a0 He told me that if I filed for divorce, I would be bringing that to his court.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat night, I went home and called my husband and invited him to come home.\u00a0 After that, I thought, \u201cI am going to have to find a way to make it work.\u201d\u00a0 After that, there was violence; but I never took out a restraining order again.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There was more violence?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It was a few years after that when you were diagnosed with cancer.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Eric was eight when I was diagnosed with cancer.\u00a0 By that time, Eric was doing better.\u00a0 We were through the early-intervention years and he was speaking, but you can imagine my terror when they told me that I had a 40 percent chance of living five years.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cWhat is going to happen to my son?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI clung to the fact that God is good and that if I went home to be with Him, it would be the best thing for everyone\u2014not just for me, but for everyone.\u00a0 It was really hard to trust.\u00a0 I did another one of those things that people do when they are struggling with trust.\u00a0 I begged God to show me how long I would live.\u00a0 When I was persuaded that He showed me that I would live ten years, which would bring Eric up to age 18, then I was able to rest.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t ultimately rest in God\u2019s goodness and His working out everything right for everyone.\u00a0 Instead, I rested in my sense that I would be there long enough.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I have listened to this story\u2014Barbara and I have been married now for over 38 years.\u00a0 We have been through our valleys; we have had our struggles.\u00a0 I do understand for a couple\u2014because we process suffering and difficulty through different grids\u2014how we can tend to spin off in our own direction.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI cannot imagine raising an autistic son during those formative years of the elementary years and then junior high and high school alone.\u00a0 That is really what you did.\u00a0 You had to shoulder that responsibility by yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Really, my husband was working against many of the things I was trying to do.\u00a0 Although he never agreed that he didn\u2019t have saving faith, everything he really believed beyond the creeds that we might recite at church was in opposition to real Christian life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So what did you do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Tried harder.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But as a woman\u2014I mean\u2014you had to be from a human perspective\u2014you got married for companionship.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 You laugh at that because it didn\u2019t happen; did it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is so funny because I was 35 years old before I got married.\u00a0 I thought that being single was the worst thing that could happen to me.\u00a0 I am so thankful that I have my son.\u00a0 Please, don\u2019t misunderstand me.\u00a0 I am so thankful to have him, but being single was better than being married the way that I was married.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did you have in the midst of that, any seasons of hope where you thought, \u201cMaybe we are starting to see a turn?\u00a0 Maybe this marriage can be what I hoped it would be when I said, \u2018I do.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes.\u00a0 I would regularly say, \u201cNow he believes.\u00a0 Now it is going to be different.\u00a0 Now it is going to be better.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Based on what?\u00a0 What kinds of things would cause you to hope that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He could be very kind.\u00a0 He was always very charming.\u00a0 He would give the shirt off his back to people outside of the family.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to dishonor him by talking about how things really were for many, many years.\u00a0 I finally got the elders at my church involved and realized it was not just me because they were not able to persuade him to live a different way either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You said it wasn\u2019t just you.\u00a0 Looking back, you say that you can see things that if you were living it again, you would do differently\u2014not necessarily that it would change the outcome\u2014but just in terms of how you live before God in the situation, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes.\u00a0 I turned into such a control freak between trying to keep Eric\u2019s behavior under control\u2014particularly the years that he had autism\u2014and trying to persuade my husband not to go off on the things that he did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe didn\u2019t do those things to hurt me.\u00a0 I am persuaded that the reason why he focused on remodeling, or on his work, or on anything like that was that he probably felt terribly inadequate and maybe intimidated.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think he was trying to hurt me when he brought chaos into our lives; and yet, that was the result.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Laura, I have heard you say that for a mom who has had a child who is born with autism, that it almost betrays our rational mind to think this way; but she really needs to think of ways\u2014not only to address the autism in her child\u2014but also how she can engage her husband around the problem and develop his soul\u2014help challenge him and his faith and his knowledge of God\u2014to draw him closer to his child\u2014his son\u2014in that case.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely.\u00a0 So much of this was my failure.\u00a0 I felt\u2014both of us felt that parenting Eric was my job.\u00a0 I wanted him to help me in the ways that I wanted to be helped, and I wanted him to come alongside in the ways that I wanted him to come alongside.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell you, even though I was looking at Eric with great care, trying to understand what he needed, I wasn\u2019t doing that for my husband.\u00a0 It would have been such a good thing if I could have said to myself, \u201cI need to find ways to help him feel like he is important in Eric\u2019s life,\u201d or maybe, \u201cHe is generating chaos because that gives him a problem that he feels like he can manage.\u201d\u00a0 I never thought that way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that is one of my big failures beyond the usual wifely things that I didn\u2019t always respond lovingly\u2014that I sinned with my speech\u2014I didn\u2019t honor his headship in all the ways I ought to have.\u00a0 I did all of that stuff, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You lived with the chaos in your marriage for a lot of years before you\u2014as you said\u2014you went to the elders of your church.\u00a0 First of all, why didn\u2019t you go sooner?\u00a0 Secondly, it takes a lot of guts to even go in the first place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I didn\u2019t want anybody to know how we were really living.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Nobody had a clue?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Not by that time.\u00a0 Not by that time.\u00a0 I had confided in girlfriends in the early years; but then, I became convinced that I was gossiping\u2014that I could be making the problem bigger by bringing other people into it.\u00a0 I prayed and tried to keep it completely private.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe ended up going to a church that was affiliated with the counseling center where we were receiving some totally unhelpful marriage counseling at the time.\u00a0 The counselor who had been counseling us, who was also an elder at the church then, knew what the problems were.\u00a0 Bringing it to the elders wasn\u2019t as difficult as it would have been if that door hadn\u2019t already been opened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We have already heard from wives who have gone to elder boards looking for help and have been sent home and told to, \u201cEndure.\u00a0 Submit.\u00a0 We can\u2019t believe your husband is a problem.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I had been in three churches before that where exactly that happened.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t go to elder boards.\u00a0 I went to pastors, and that was what I was told\u2014that I just needed to try harder.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But this elder board heard you and got involved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They worked with us very intensively.\u00a0 We worked with them for five or six years before they finally told my husband that they didn\u2019t believe he had saving faith and excommunicated him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They disciplined him out of the church?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>First, there was discipline\u2014escalating levels of discipline.\u00a0 Then, ultimately, it was failure to respond to the discipline that caused them to say, \u201cWe don\u2019t believe you have saving faith,\u201d and they excommunicated him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The dissolution of your marriage followed that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>As I am listening to your story, Laura, I am just reminded of how isolation not only can kill a marriage, it can also rob a person of perspective, and hope, and help.\u00a0 One of the greatest tragedies is for a woman to be abused, or to be neglected, or to be in a marriage like you are talking about and not having anyone to confide in\u2014anyone to be a fellow burden-bearer to shoulder that load with her and to protect her, not only physically, but also spiritually, and also to protect the family as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs imperfect as the church is and as the Christian community is\u2014this is where we have got to engage them\u2014even at the risk of what you experienced of them telling you and giving you bad counsel.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what the hope of a woman like you would be here on the planet because it is clear God gave us the Christian community\u2014the church\u2014the body of Christ\u2014to come alongside us in situations like this and to give us perspective, wise counsel, and help develop a plan.\u00a0 To go through a trial of raising an autistic child by yourself\u2014as you have shared\u2014I have heard you talk about what you did wrong a lot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We all do many things wrong, don\u2019t we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I am sure you did do some things wrong there; but I think in the midst of that, it would have been so much better had someone been alongside you\u2014maybe a couple of really good, wise, godly friends who offered you perspective from the Scripture\u2014to have coached and encouraged you so that maybe at the points when you would beat yourself up\u2014and you shouldn\u2019t be doing that\u2014you really do develop a healthy faith in God and also use the body of Christ to be able to address your situation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI personally really appreciate you and your work\u2014your book\u2014helping to address the needs of autistic children and their parents in raising them.\u00a0 I appreciate you sharing your story here of what happened in your marriage and, of course, what ultimately led to a divorce, which I am really sorry about and I know you are, too.\u00a0 There is a God who cares.\u00a0 He does intercept life with us.\u00a0 In these moments, we need to turn to Him.\u00a0 I just appreciate you modeling that for us.\u00a0 Thanks for being with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I would like to just say that even when we are alone, God comes alongside us and ministers to us.\u00a0 I believe I am the person I am\u2014who doesn\u2019t beat up on herself like that anymore\u2014because the Lord showed me through the meltdown of my own life where I really need to be putting my hope and taught me to stop looking at myself and to look to Him in faith.\u00a0 Even these terrible experiences have been a crucible in which God has developed my faith.\u00a0 I give thanks to Him for all of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The good news is that that journey of faith, even though it takes us down what can be a very rocky path at times, it is still a path of grace.\u00a0 We still meet God there.\u00a0 In fact, sometimes in ways that we would not meet Him in the higher elevations.\u00a0 I think you have modeled that well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think you have written about it well in the book that you have written, <em>Finding Your Child\u2019s Way on the Autism Spectrum<\/em>, where you share some of your story.\u00a0 You have shared a little bit more with us here this week, and we appreciate your being on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf our listeners are interested in a copy of your book, let me encourage them to go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 In fact, let me encourage you, if you do know somebody who is raising an autistic son or daughter\u2014get them a copy of this book as a gift.\u00a0 You can find out more about it as you go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou will also find a copy of Emily Colson\u2019s book called <em>Dancing with Max<\/em>, which is her reflection of a very similar story\u2014raising her autistic son.\u00a0 You and she have some very similar experiences along that path.\u00a0 Again, find out more about Laura Hendrickson\u2019s book and Emily Colson\u2019s book\u2014both of them on raising autistic children\u2014when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com or when you call 1-800-FLTODAY (1-800-358-6329).\u00a0 That is 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know for many of our listeners\u2014when we hear stories like this\u2014the recurring question that we keep coming back to us, \u201cHow can God redeem a situation like this?\u00a0 How can He have any divine purpose that is accomplished through the kinds of things we have talked about this week?\u201d\u00a0 I think you have modeled well that it can and does happen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is still that fundamental question that crops up in people\u2019s minds about the goodness of God and His purposes in the midst of suffering.\u00a0 We have a booklet we would like to send you if that is a question that continues to challenge you.\u00a0 We will send it to you at no cost.\u00a0 It is written by our friend, Randy Alcorn, who has been a guest on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou may be new to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and have not heard us have conversations on topics like this.\u00a0 Contact us and get a free copy of this 64-page booklet called \u201cIf God Is Good, Why Do We Hurt?\u201d by Randy Alcorn.\u00a0 We are happy to send it out to you.\u00a0 We ask that you limit it to one booklet per family or per household.\u00a0 Only request one when you go online or when you call us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Our toll-free number is 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 Again, ask for the booklet, \u201cIf God Is Good, Why Do We Hurt?\u201d\u00a0 We are happy to send it to you, and we appreciate your listening to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>We hope you find this booklet helpful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend.\u00a0 I hope you can join us back on Monday.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMary Kassian is going to be here.\u00a0 She is an author and speaker.\u00a0 We are going to confront some of the\u2014well, what shall I say?\u2014some of the muddle-headed thinking in the minds of some women of what will bring fulfillment, and joy, and happiness in life.\u00a0 Mary has written a book called <em>Girls Gone Wise<\/em>.\u00a0 We will talk about the way of wisdom as you pursue biblical womanhood.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that conversation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back on Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302219","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302219"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302219"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302219"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302219"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}