{"id":302217,"date":"2011-02-17T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-02-17T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/seeing-god-in-the-midst-of-autism\/"},"modified":"2011-02-17T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-02-17T17:00:00","slug":"seeing-god-in-the-midst-of-autism","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/seeing-god-in-the-midst-of-autism\/","title":{"rendered":"Seeing God in the Midst of Autism"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>God is good, even when life presents challenges.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-02-17.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"28.34M","filesize_raw":"29717653","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2090],"tags":[5167,4798,4177],"podcast_series":[7789],"cwp_profile":[9224],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302217","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-special-needs-child","tag-autism","tag-kids","tag-special-needs","podcast_series-your-child-and-the-autism-spectrum","cwp_profile-laura-hendrickson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302217\/seeing-god-in-the-midst-of-autism","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302217\/seeing-god-in-the-midst-of-autism","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"jfBhiP58I8\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/seeing-god-in-the-midst-of-autism\/\">Seeing God in the Midst of Autism<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/seeing-god-in-the-midst-of-autism\/embed\/#?secret=jfBhiP58I8\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Seeing God in the Midst of Autism&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"jfBhiP58I8\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-02-17.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-02-17.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>As Dr. Laura Hendrickson was raising her son Eric, who was severely autistic, she came to a point where she realized that she was spending way too much effort trying to fix something that wasn\u2019t hers to fix.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Suddenly I found myself on my face before the Lord weeping and saying, \u201cGod I can make my kid a really good autistic child.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been working real hard at it for the last several years but only you can really heal him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, February 17th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Dr. Laura Hendrickson shares with us today some of the important spiritual lessons she has learned raising an autistic son.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Dennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If I was to be able to go to heaven right now I\u2019ve got a handful of questions that I would like to ask God, if I could just go there and get a Reader\u2019s Digest answer from God.\u00a0 One of them would be teenagers.\u00a0 Just kind of what He had in mind when he made that little season of life with them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd on the not so funny side of things, another question would be what was He up to when he made children with severe limitations, whether that be physical, emotional, or mental, such as autism?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got a nephew whose name is Jacob who I really love.\u00a0 I really do love Jacob and I get a chance to see him two or three times a year.\u00a0 It\u2019s just interesting to relate to him as a young man who is made in God\u2019s image.\u00a0 He has value and worth and purpose and dignity.\u00a0 God has some reasons why He wanted Jacob to be in our extended family.\u00a0 I know what the Bible says.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can give you some of the theological underpinnings of what God was up to but I\u2019d just like to quiz God a little bit and maybe interview Him and ask Him what was on his heart and mind as he allowed children like this to join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course I think of your question and I think of the questions Job asks at the end of his book, which are some of those similar, \u201cwhy is there suffering, why did we go on this path?\u201d\u00a0 and God\u2019s answer is \u201cbecause I am God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Maybe there\u2019s some of it you just don\u2019t understand and you\u2019re going to have to trust Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s Job\u2019s conclusion:\u00a0 \u201cNow my eye sees Thee and I know Thee.\u201d\u00a0 In other words, over his lifetime of going through these numerous valleys, Job got to know who God really was through his many trials and many sufferings.\u00a0 We have a guest with us who has been through not just one but a number of various challenges in her life.\u00a0 Dr. Laura Hendrickson joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Laura, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s good to be back, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Laura is a trained psychiatrist.\u00a0 She is a speaker and author and mother of an adult autistic son who, as I mentioned earlier, is right now on his way back from China having learned the Mandarin language.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s been studying that for the last three years in college, is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Three years.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to start a fourth year this fall and he\u2019s also going to start Arabic this year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, my goodness!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So here\u2019s kind of the question immediately that I can sense moms and dads leaning into the radio going, \u201cNow, wait a second.\u00a0 Your autistic son is not like our autistic son or daughter.\u201d\u00a0 Your book is entitled <em>Finding Your Child\u2019s Way on the Autism Spectrum<\/em>.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re at the other end of the spectrum than what we\u2019re facing.\u201d\u00a0 What would you say to that person?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say to that person, yes, and it\u2019s fair to say that Eric is no longer autistic.\u00a0 But he definitely had autism when he was three years old.\u00a0 He was very severely autistic.\u00a0 They told us he was retarded, that his I.Q. was about 50.\u00a0 They told us he would probably never speak.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe went from that place to the place where he is today, the same way we grow in any way before our Father in heaven who has created us and planned out the path of our life.\u00a0 He grew one step at a time as, his parents initially, and he later on, looked to the Lord in faith for the next step.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We hear that and parents are thinking, \u201cWhat, Eric was diagnosed at three with autism, or just before his third birthday, and today you said he doesn\u2019t have autism anymore?\u00a0 That\u2019s not a disorder for him anymore?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know I said he doesn\u2019t have autism anymore.\u00a0 But I would not say that he doesn\u2019t have any autism spectrum characteristics anymore.\u00a0 I don\u2019t believe that autism is a disease that can be cured so much as it\u2019s a challenge that can be modified.\u00a0 So Eric\u2019s brain today is different.\u00a0 He was born with a different brain.\u00a0 I believe that he will probably die with a different brain.\u00a0 But he has learned to compensate for many of those differences.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The parents who are listening are thinking, \u201cHow do I get my son or daughter\u2019s brain to be different because I want them to be able to go to China and learn Mandarin and function on their own.\u00a0 Is there something I can do?\u201d\u00a0 What did you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 We did special diets.\u00a0 They were helpful in helping Eric maintain self-control in the early years.\u00a0 They became not necessary later on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the primary intervention that we chose, and this is what\u2019s controversial, and it\u2019s something called ABA, applied behavioral analysis.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t work for everybody.\u00a0 It\u2019s very labor intensive and it\u2019s expensive.\u00a0 We put a mortgage on the house to take Eric up to UCLA to train in UCLA\u2019s Department of Psychology.\u00a0 They were doing experiments with autism spectrum people in those days.\u00a0 For Eric is paid off but not every child got better, even through ABA.\u00a0 So unfortunately there are no guarantees.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe did other things.\u00a0 We did something that was very popular at the time, auditory integration therapy, which was supposed to help him with his sensitive hearing.\u00a0 He saw a developmental optometrist who taught me how to do eye exercise with him every day.\u00a0 We did home speech therapy.\u00a0 You name it.\u00a0 But to point out one particular thing that made Eric all better?\u00a0 I don\u2019t believe it\u2019s out there and that\u2019s going to get me in trouble maybe with a number of moms who\u2019ve pinned all their hope on one particular intervention.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But the mom who would come to you and say \u201cI just got the diagnosis?\u201d\u00a0 Or maybe \u201cI\u2019ve got a five year old or a seven year old and I want to know, what would you tell me to do?\u00a0 Where would you send me?\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to do something.\u201d\u00a0 Would you say just trust God or where would you send them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would encourage any person who is asking me what to do to start with an expert diagnosis.\u00a0 Very often people have been diagnosed by a pediatrician and plugged right into the public school system and that\u2019s an appropriate placement for many.\u00a0 But I would want to be sure that all of the stones have been uncovered.\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard stories of children initially diagnosed with autism who turned out to have something else that wasn\u2019t treated because the expectation wasn\u2019t there that there would be something else.\u00a0 So I\u2019d start with expert diagnosis.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would also encourage parents to follow whatever sounds promising to them, to do their own research, to look for what seems to be the most promising answers today.\u00a0 But ultimately we need to not put our whole hope in any treatment program.\u00a0 We also need to not even put our hope that our child will be cured.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was so busy, so very busy doing so very, very many things and I believe that in the early years, even though I gave lip service to God\u2019s sovereignty and how God was the one would be bringing about the healing, I really sort of saw God as the accessory to my hard work.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I got to a place where Eric and I were working on understanding the use of prepositions (those are very difficult for speaking autism spectrum people).\u00a0 As I was trying to explain the difference between next to, close to, on top of, underneath, beside, I realized the magnitude of the task that was ahead of me because these were only the things that I <em>knew<\/em> that he needed to know.\u00a0 But probably for everything that I knew he needed to know, there were twenty or thirty that I don\u2019t even know he needs to know because I picked them up without thinking about them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSuddenly I found myself on my face before the Lord, weeping and saying \u201cGod I can make my kid a really good autistic child.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been working real hard at it for the last several years.\u00a0 But only you can really heal him.\u00a0 Please forgive me for believing that I could figure out what was needed and do it.\u00a0 So I was really living as though I could somehow mechanistically get the right things out of Eric.\u00a0 Instead I needed to believe that God had put in what He intended to get from Eric and that He would bring it about.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t need me to figure it all out for Him!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I really like your balance, Laura, because it seems to me that parents of an autistic child are really set up for others to take advantage of them\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026and create a sense of false hope or of curing the problem, fixing the problem, and in some cases could spend a lot of money only to find their hopes and their hearts dashed by the treatment not working and not fixing the child.\u00a0\u00a0 What I hear you saying repeatedly is that you need to make sure you\u2019re growing spiritually in the midst of raising this young man, this young lady, and finding out what God wants to teach you through him or her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPsalm 16 is a great psalm because it goes through several points about God giving counsel and how He is alongside of people as they go through distress.\u00a0 \u201cLord you have made known to me the path of life.\u00a0 In your presence there is fullness of joy.\u00a0 At your right hand are pleasures forevermore.\u201d\u00a0 That means someone who is going through the trials of how an autistic child can impact them, their marriage, their family, all of the chaos it can create, not every time, but it can create, really needs to pay attention to his or her own soul.\u00a0 Make sure they are growing and they\u2019re learning how to go through this valley with faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well that\u2019s absolutely true.\u00a0 I remember when Eric was first diagnosed.\u00a0 I\u2019ve already mentioned how I blamed myself and how I guilted myself.\u00a0 But one of the things that I thought was that I was such a tough case.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t see God the way I see God today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought I was such a tough case that God had to give me a child with autism because I just wasn\u2019t growing in faith the way I needed to, the usual ways.\u00a0 I would want to make sure at the same time as I encourage families that God is at work in every member of that family\u2019s lives, that the child did not get autism, that wasn\u2019t the one who\u2019s welfare was sacrificed, so that everybody else could prosper.\u00a0 That\u2019s kind of what it seemed like to me.\u00a0 \u201cLord, I\u2019m so bad that now Eric has to have autism\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen in actuality, if God has created him in His image and likeness, although that image and likeness is indeed marred by the fact that Eric was born into a fallen world, it\u2019s a good thing that God has given life to Eric.\u00a0 God is big enough to cause me to grow in my faith and to cause Eric to grow in this faith, to whatever extent he is capable.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just say that Eric never did start speaking.\u00a0 Then his growth and faith would be very different.\u00a0 But whatever God is going to do in everyone\u2019s lives, He is perfectly capable of doing it at the same time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was a moment undoubtedly where you had to really sit stunned in the audience and it was the day of Eric\u2019s graduation.\u00a0 I have to tell you as I was going through your book I really couldn\u2019t quite comprehend the title to this chapter, \u201cEric\u2019s Valedictorian Speech!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Is God cool or what?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, now wait a second.\u00a0 It\u2019s written out here and I\u2019m going to ask Bob in a moment just to read a couple of the first paragraphs of that speech.\u00a0 But first of all, would you just share what the context for this was and what you were feeling as you sat in the audience listening to Eric say these words?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did he graduate at the top of his class?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, he did!\u00a0 Not only that, Eric was elected to Phi Beta Kappa this year at the University of California.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 So that was high school and this is college.\u00a0 So what was I thinking?\u00a0 Of course, I knew he was the valedictorian.\u00a0 He\u2019s been working on his speech for weeks. I wasn\u2019t worried about the writing of it because Eric has always written beautifully, which is interesting because in high school he was still pretty inarticulate.\u00a0 So I was pretty scared about this speech.\u00a0 I could visualize him standing up there talking into his tie and not making eye contact with the audience and just reading it.\u00a0 Oh me of little faith!\u00a0 I didn\u2019t record it because I was prepared to be embarrassed.\u00a0 I was literally braced to keep on smiling no matter how humiliating it was for him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe got up there and he started speaking and he looked out at the audience and he smiled.\u00a0 He used arm gestures.\u00a0 He even turned around and talked to his classmates.\u00a0 He did it just the way his pastor does it.\u00a0 He did it just the way I do it when I speak.\u00a0 I said, \u201cOh Lord, please forgive me for not believing that you can do anything.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I have to immediately back away and say that we have these wonderful mountaintop moments and yet we spend our time in the valleys too.\u00a0 The average day is not on the mountaintop and sometimes we spend weeks and months in the valleys.\u00a0 We\u2019re still facing significant challenges.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t something that you suddenly live happily ever after from.\u00a0 Yet God is truly able to do exceedingly above all that we could ask or think.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember when Eric was, well he wasn\u2019t speaking yet.\u00a0 It was soon after his diagnosis and my husband and I rented the movie <em>Rain Man<\/em> with Dustin Hoffman.\u00a0 Raymond was a very impaired autism spectrum adult.\u00a0 But we looked at him and we thought he was doing great because he could speak.\u00a0 I remember turning to my husband and saying, \u201cIf Eric could just do that, well it would be enough.\u201d\u00a0 My God was too small.\u00a0 I had no idea\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 In all fairness though, you had been told by a physician that he would never\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Speak.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He would never talk and so now you\u2019re in the audience listening to him give the valedictorian speech as a graduating high school senior.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to say there are a lot of parents of autistic children whose children will never give the valedictorian address and their God is no smaller than your God.\u00a0 It\u2019s just the providence of God that in Eric\u2019s case, for whatever purpose, for whatever reason, this was one of the mountaintops that he gave you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just read a portion of what Eric said that day.\u00a0 He said:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSo we\u2019re finally graduating.\u00a0 This perhaps means we\u2019ve learned something worthwhile.\u00a0 What have we learned over the years here at Covenant?\u00a0 We\u2019ve learned to read and write, to diagram sentences, to solve algebraic equations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cMore importantly we\u2019ve studied the Bible in depth. We know that there is one God who created everything and is the Lord of the whole world.\u00a0 We are made in the image of this wise, all powerful creator.\u00a0 It\u2019s through God that we have our purpose which is to glorify Him and to do work.\u00a0 Since this is true, the ultimate question must be \u2018How do we glorify God and what is His work?\u00a0 Is there one ideal personality type, set of abilities, that glories God best?\u00a0 Is there one occupation that is holier?\u00a0 A specific work that pleases God more than others\/?\u00a0 Do we have to fit a mold?\u2019\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cOn the contrary.\u00a0 There is great diversity among human beings.\u00a0 The Bible teaches that each of us is uniquely designed for the contribution that God intends us to make through our lives.\u00a0 Variety in human personality and talent glorifies God in the same way that variety in nature testifies to His wisdom and power.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wish the audience could see the face of this mother.\u00a0 You had your eyes closed and you\u2019ve been beaming.\u00a0 What are you feeling?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is just remarkable.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been talking about the past and what Eric was like and I just gave the little story about watching the <em>Rain Man<\/em> movie and hearing those beautiful words that my son wrote and visualizing him again just blowing me away.\u00a0 I was weeping so hard as he was speaking that he kind of started to stumble.\u00a0 He thought he was doing something wrong.\u00a0 I was just weeping with joy.\u00a0 So as you were reading, Bob, I was reliving that moment yet again and the glory of it.\u00a0 God is so kind to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I love seeing the look on your face.\u00a0 It was really cool that you, as a mom, were given that mountaintop.\u00a0 To those who are listening, however, and are not on the mountaintop but they\u2019re in the valley which, as you said, is frankly where a lot more of us live, hammering day in and day out issues, the challenge is, will you trust God?\u00a0 Will you discover what God is up to in your life?\u00a0 How does He want you to glorify God and honor him in the midst of your circumstances?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 On those days when you\u2019re son is supposed to stand up and speak and he does look down and he doesn\u2019t say what he\u2019s supposed to say, do you lament?\u00a0 Of course you do as a parent.\u00a0 But where do you go from there?\u00a0 What do you do with your lament?\u00a0 What do you do with your challenge?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think one of the things that helps a lot of parents is to hear from folks who have been there, how they\u2019ve found hope in the midst of those difficult circumstances.\u00a0 I would encourage parents to get a copy of the book that you\u2019ve written called <em>Finding Your Child\u2019s Way on the Autism Spectrum<\/em>.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t have a son or daughter who is autistic, but you know someone who does, give them a copy of this book as a gift.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got it in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center and you can order a copy from us when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou might also want to get a copy of the book that Emily Colson wrote on this subject.\u00a0 We interviewed Emily and her father, Chuck Colson, a couple of months ago and we\u2019ve got copies of the book <em>Dancing With Max<\/em> in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center as well, along with the CD audio of that interview, if you\u2019d like to get that and pass it along to someone you know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Again, find out more when you go online at FailyLifeToday.com or when you call us toll-free at 1-800-FLToday, 1-800, \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201c\u201dL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 When you get in touch with us if you have any questions about these resources we can get those answered for you or we can get the order out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know for a lot of listeners you hear a story like this and the question that keeps coming back is \u201cWhy does allow things like this to happen if He is good, if He is all powerful?\u00a0 What is His purpose in all of this?\u201d\u00a0 Our friend Randy Alcorn wrote a very helpful booklet, 64 pages.\u00a0 It\u2019s actually an except from a larger book on the subject of the goodness of God. This booklet is called \u201cIf God is Good, Why Do We Hurt?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause this is such a challenging issue for so many folks, we want to make that booklet\u00a0 available at no cost to anybody who requests if from us.\u00a0 All you have to do is go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and ask for a copy or call 1-800FLToday to request a copy. Because we\u2019re making these available at no cost we\u2019re asking you to limit it to one per caller or one per household please.\u00a0 But we\u2019d love to get a copy of this book to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re new to FamilyLife Today it\u2019s very easy to request a copy.\u00a0 All you have to do is go online, FamilyLifeToday.com, and the information that you need will be right there.\u00a0 Or just call us, 1-800, \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d is in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY\u201d and we\u2019ve arrange to have a copy of Randy Alcorn\u2019s book, \u201cIf God is Good, Why Do We Hurt?\u201d sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We want to encourage you to be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to find out about some of the curveballs that Dr. Laura Hendrickson has had to face along the way as she has raised an autistic son to adulthood.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get an update on how Eric is doing.\u00a0 That\u2019s on tomorrow\u2019s program.\u00a0 I hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["28.34M"],"filesize_raw":["29717653"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302217.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302217.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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is good, even when life presents challenges.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-02-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>As Dr. Laura Hendrickson was raising her son Eric, who was severely autistic, she came to a point where she realized that she was spending way too much effort trying to fix something that wasn\u2019t hers to fix.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Suddenly I found myself on my face before the Lord weeping and saying, \u201cGod I can make my kid a really good autistic child.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been working real hard at it for the last several years but only you can really heal him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, February 17th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Dr. Laura Hendrickson shares with us today some of the important spiritual lessons she has learned raising an autistic son.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Dennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If I was to be able to go to heaven right now I\u2019ve got a handful of questions that I would like to ask God, if I could just go there and get a Reader\u2019s Digest answer from God.\u00a0 One of them would be teenagers.\u00a0 Just kind of what He had in mind when he made that little season of life with them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd on the not so funny side of things, another question would be what was He up to when he made children with severe limitations, whether that be physical, emotional, or mental, such as autism?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got a nephew whose name is Jacob who I really love.\u00a0 I really do love Jacob and I get a chance to see him two or three times a year.\u00a0 It\u2019s just interesting to relate to him as a young man who is made in God\u2019s image.\u00a0 He has value and worth and purpose and dignity.\u00a0 God has some reasons why He wanted Jacob to be in our extended family.\u00a0 I know what the Bible says.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can give you some of the theological underpinnings of what God was up to but I\u2019d just like to quiz God a little bit and maybe interview Him and ask Him what was on his heart and mind as he allowed children like this to join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course I think of your question and I think of the questions Job asks at the end of his book, which are some of those similar, \u201cwhy is there suffering, why did we go on this path?\u201d\u00a0 and God\u2019s answer is \u201cbecause I am God.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Maybe there\u2019s some of it you just don\u2019t understand and you\u2019re going to have to trust Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s Job\u2019s conclusion:\u00a0 \u201cNow my eye sees Thee and I know Thee.\u201d\u00a0 In other words, over his lifetime of going through these numerous valleys, Job got to know who God really was through his many trials and many sufferings.\u00a0 We have a guest with us who has been through not just one but a number of various challenges in her life.\u00a0 Dr. Laura Hendrickson joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Laura, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s good to be back, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Laura is a trained psychiatrist.\u00a0 She is a speaker and author and mother of an adult autistic son who, as I mentioned earlier, is right now on his way back from China having learned the Mandarin language.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s been studying that for the last three years in college, is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Three years.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to start a fourth year this fall and he\u2019s also going to start Arabic this year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, my goodness!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So here\u2019s kind of the question immediately that I can sense moms and dads leaning into the radio going, \u201cNow, wait a second.\u00a0 Your autistic son is not like our autistic son or daughter.\u201d\u00a0 Your book is entitled <em>Finding Your Child\u2019s Way on the Autism Spectrum<\/em>.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re at the other end of the spectrum than what we\u2019re facing.\u201d\u00a0 What would you say to that person?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say to that person, yes, and it\u2019s fair to say that Eric is no longer autistic.\u00a0 But he definitely had autism when he was three years old.\u00a0 He was very severely autistic.\u00a0 They told us he was retarded, that his I.Q. was about 50.\u00a0 They told us he would probably never speak.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe went from that place to the place where he is today, the same way we grow in any way before our Father in heaven who has created us and planned out the path of our life.\u00a0 He grew one step at a time as, his parents initially, and he later on, looked to the Lord in faith for the next step.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We hear that and parents are thinking, \u201cWhat, Eric was diagnosed at three with autism, or just before his third birthday, and today you said he doesn\u2019t have autism anymore?\u00a0 That\u2019s not a disorder for him anymore?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know I said he doesn\u2019t have autism anymore.\u00a0 But I would not say that he doesn\u2019t have any autism spectrum characteristics anymore.\u00a0 I don\u2019t believe that autism is a disease that can be cured so much as it\u2019s a challenge that can be modified.\u00a0 So Eric\u2019s brain today is different.\u00a0 He was born with a different brain.\u00a0 I believe that he will probably die with a different brain.\u00a0 But he has learned to compensate for many of those differences.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The parents who are listening are thinking, \u201cHow do I get my son or daughter\u2019s brain to be different because I want them to be able to go to China and learn Mandarin and function on their own.\u00a0 Is there something I can do?\u201d\u00a0 What did you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 We did special diets.\u00a0 They were helpful in helping Eric maintain self-control in the early years.\u00a0 They became not necessary later on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the primary intervention that we chose, and this is what\u2019s controversial, and it\u2019s something called ABA, applied behavioral analysis.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t work for everybody.\u00a0 It\u2019s very labor intensive and it\u2019s expensive.\u00a0 We put a mortgage on the house to take Eric up to UCLA to train in UCLA\u2019s Department of Psychology.\u00a0 They were doing experiments with autism spectrum people in those days.\u00a0 For Eric is paid off but not every child got better, even through ABA.\u00a0 So unfortunately there are no guarantees.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe did other things.\u00a0 We did something that was very popular at the time, auditory integration therapy, which was supposed to help him with his sensitive hearing.\u00a0 He saw a developmental optometrist who taught me how to do eye exercise with him every day.\u00a0 We did home speech therapy.\u00a0 You name it.\u00a0 But to point out one particular thing that made Eric all better?\u00a0 I don\u2019t believe it\u2019s out there and that\u2019s going to get me in trouble maybe with a number of moms who\u2019ve pinned all their hope on one particular intervention.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But the mom who would come to you and say \u201cI just got the diagnosis?\u201d\u00a0 Or maybe \u201cI\u2019ve got a five year old or a seven year old and I want to know, what would you tell me to do?\u00a0 Where would you send me?\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to do something.\u201d\u00a0 Would you say just trust God or where would you send them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would encourage any person who is asking me what to do to start with an expert diagnosis.\u00a0 Very often people have been diagnosed by a pediatrician and plugged right into the public school system and that\u2019s an appropriate placement for many.\u00a0 But I would want to be sure that all of the stones have been uncovered.\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard stories of children initially diagnosed with autism who turned out to have something else that wasn\u2019t treated because the expectation wasn\u2019t there that there would be something else.\u00a0 So I\u2019d start with expert diagnosis.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would also encourage parents to follow whatever sounds promising to them, to do their own research, to look for what seems to be the most promising answers today.\u00a0 But ultimately we need to not put our whole hope in any treatment program.\u00a0 We also need to not even put our hope that our child will be cured.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was so busy, so very busy doing so very, very many things and I believe that in the early years, even though I gave lip service to God\u2019s sovereignty and how God was the one would be bringing about the healing, I really sort of saw God as the accessory to my hard work.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I got to a place where Eric and I were working on understanding the use of prepositions (those are very difficult for speaking autism spectrum people).\u00a0 As I was trying to explain the difference between next to, close to, on top of, underneath, beside, I realized the magnitude of the task that was ahead of me because these were only the things that I <em>knew<\/em> that he needed to know.\u00a0 But probably for everything that I knew he needed to know, there were twenty or thirty that I don\u2019t even know he needs to know because I picked them up without thinking about them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSuddenly I found myself on my face before the Lord, weeping and saying \u201cGod I can make my kid a really good autistic child.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been working real hard at it for the last several years.\u00a0 But only you can really heal him.\u00a0 Please forgive me for believing that I could figure out what was needed and do it.\u00a0 So I was really living as though I could somehow mechanistically get the right things out of Eric.\u00a0 Instead I needed to believe that God had put in what He intended to get from Eric and that He would bring it about.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t need me to figure it all out for Him!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I really like your balance, Laura, because it seems to me that parents of an autistic child are really set up for others to take advantage of them\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026and create a sense of false hope or of curing the problem, fixing the problem, and in some cases could spend a lot of money only to find their hopes and their hearts dashed by the treatment not working and not fixing the child.\u00a0\u00a0 What I hear you saying repeatedly is that you need to make sure you\u2019re growing spiritually in the midst of raising this young man, this young lady, and finding out what God wants to teach you through him or her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPsalm 16 is a great psalm because it goes through several points about God giving counsel and how He is alongside of people as they go through distress.\u00a0 \u201cLord you have made known to me the path of life.\u00a0 In your presence there is fullness of joy.\u00a0 At your right hand are pleasures forevermore.\u201d\u00a0 That means someone who is going through the trials of how an autistic child can impact them, their marriage, their family, all of the chaos it can create, not every time, but it can create, really needs to pay attention to his or her own soul.\u00a0 Make sure they are growing and they\u2019re learning how to go through this valley with faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well that\u2019s absolutely true.\u00a0 I remember when Eric was first diagnosed.\u00a0 I\u2019ve already mentioned how I blamed myself and how I guilted myself.\u00a0 But one of the things that I thought was that I was such a tough case.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t see God the way I see God today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought I was such a tough case that God had to give me a child with autism because I just wasn\u2019t growing in faith the way I needed to, the usual ways.\u00a0 I would want to make sure at the same time as I encourage families that God is at work in every member of that family\u2019s lives, that the child did not get autism, that wasn\u2019t the one who\u2019s welfare was sacrificed, so that everybody else could prosper.\u00a0 That\u2019s kind of what it seemed like to me.\u00a0 \u201cLord, I\u2019m so bad that now Eric has to have autism\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen in actuality, if God has created him in His image and likeness, although that image and likeness is indeed marred by the fact that Eric was born into a fallen world, it\u2019s a good thing that God has given life to Eric.\u00a0 God is big enough to cause me to grow in my faith and to cause Eric to grow in this faith, to whatever extent he is capable.\u00a0 Let\u2019s just say that Eric never did start speaking.\u00a0 Then his growth and faith would be very different.\u00a0 But whatever God is going to do in everyone\u2019s lives, He is perfectly capable of doing it at the same time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was a moment undoubtedly where you had to really sit stunned in the audience and it was the day of Eric\u2019s graduation.\u00a0 I have to tell you as I was going through your book I really couldn\u2019t quite comprehend the title to this chapter, \u201cEric\u2019s Valedictorian Speech!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Is God cool or what?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, now wait a second.\u00a0 It\u2019s written out here and I\u2019m going to ask Bob in a moment just to read a couple of the first paragraphs of that speech.\u00a0 But first of all, would you just share what the context for this was and what you were feeling as you sat in the audience listening to Eric say these words?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did he graduate at the top of his class?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, he did!\u00a0 Not only that, Eric was elected to Phi Beta Kappa this year at the University of California.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 So that was high school and this is college.\u00a0 So what was I thinking?\u00a0 Of course, I knew he was the valedictorian.\u00a0 He\u2019s been working on his speech for weeks. I wasn\u2019t worried about the writing of it because Eric has always written beautifully, which is interesting because in high school he was still pretty inarticulate.\u00a0 So I was pretty scared about this speech.\u00a0 I could visualize him standing up there talking into his tie and not making eye contact with the audience and just reading it.\u00a0 Oh me of little faith!\u00a0 I didn\u2019t record it because I was prepared to be embarrassed.\u00a0 I was literally braced to keep on smiling no matter how humiliating it was for him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe got up there and he started speaking and he looked out at the audience and he smiled.\u00a0 He used arm gestures.\u00a0 He even turned around and talked to his classmates.\u00a0 He did it just the way his pastor does it.\u00a0 He did it just the way I do it when I speak.\u00a0 I said, \u201cOh Lord, please forgive me for not believing that you can do anything.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I have to immediately back away and say that we have these wonderful mountaintop moments and yet we spend our time in the valleys too.\u00a0 The average day is not on the mountaintop and sometimes we spend weeks and months in the valleys.\u00a0 We\u2019re still facing significant challenges.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t something that you suddenly live happily ever after from.\u00a0 Yet God is truly able to do exceedingly above all that we could ask or think.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember when Eric was, well he wasn\u2019t speaking yet.\u00a0 It was soon after his diagnosis and my husband and I rented the movie <em>Rain Man<\/em> with Dustin Hoffman.\u00a0 Raymond was a very impaired autism spectrum adult.\u00a0 But we looked at him and we thought he was doing great because he could speak.\u00a0 I remember turning to my husband and saying, \u201cIf Eric could just do that, well it would be enough.\u201d\u00a0 My God was too small.\u00a0 I had no idea\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 In all fairness though, you had been told by a physician that he would never\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Speak.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He would never talk and so now you\u2019re in the audience listening to him give the valedictorian speech as a graduating high school senior.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to say there are a lot of parents of autistic children whose children will never give the valedictorian address and their God is no smaller than your God.\u00a0 It\u2019s just the providence of God that in Eric\u2019s case, for whatever purpose, for whatever reason, this was one of the mountaintops that he gave you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just read a portion of what Eric said that day.\u00a0 He said:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSo we\u2019re finally graduating.\u00a0 This perhaps means we\u2019ve learned something worthwhile.\u00a0 What have we learned over the years here at Covenant?\u00a0 We\u2019ve learned to read and write, to diagram sentences, to solve algebraic equations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cMore importantly we\u2019ve studied the Bible in depth. We know that there is one God who created everything and is the Lord of the whole world.\u00a0 We are made in the image of this wise, all powerful creator.\u00a0 It\u2019s through God that we have our purpose which is to glorify Him and to do work.\u00a0 Since this is true, the ultimate question must be \u2018How do we glorify God and what is His work?\u00a0 Is there one ideal personality type, set of abilities, that glories God best?\u00a0 Is there one occupation that is holier?\u00a0 A specific work that pleases God more than others\/?\u00a0 Do we have to fit a mold?\u2019\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cOn the contrary.\u00a0 There is great diversity among human beings.\u00a0 The Bible teaches that each of us is uniquely designed for the contribution that God intends us to make through our lives.\u00a0 Variety in human personality and talent glorifies God in the same way that variety in nature testifies to His wisdom and power.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wish the audience could see the face of this mother.\u00a0 You had your eyes closed and you\u2019ve been beaming.\u00a0 What are you feeling?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is just remarkable.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been talking about the past and what Eric was like and I just gave the little story about watching the <em>Rain Man<\/em> movie and hearing those beautiful words that my son wrote and visualizing him again just blowing me away.\u00a0 I was weeping so hard as he was speaking that he kind of started to stumble.\u00a0 He thought he was doing something wrong.\u00a0 I was just weeping with joy.\u00a0 So as you were reading, Bob, I was reliving that moment yet again and the glory of it.\u00a0 God is so kind to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I love seeing the look on your face.\u00a0 It was really cool that you, as a mom, were given that mountaintop.\u00a0 To those who are listening, however, and are not on the mountaintop but they\u2019re in the valley which, as you said, is frankly where a lot more of us live, hammering day in and day out issues, the challenge is, will you trust God?\u00a0 Will you discover what God is up to in your life?\u00a0 How does He want you to glorify God and honor him in the midst of your circumstances?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 On those days when you\u2019re son is supposed to stand up and speak and he does look down and he doesn\u2019t say what he\u2019s supposed to say, do you lament?\u00a0 Of course you do as a parent.\u00a0 But where do you go from there?\u00a0 What do you do with your lament?\u00a0 What do you do with your challenge?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think one of the things that helps a lot of parents is to hear from folks who have been there, how they\u2019ve found hope in the midst of those difficult circumstances.\u00a0 I would encourage parents to get a copy of the book that you\u2019ve written called <em>Finding Your Child\u2019s Way on the Autism Spectrum<\/em>.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t have a son or daughter who is autistic, but you know someone who does, give them a copy of this book as a gift.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got it in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center and you can order a copy from us when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou might also want to get a copy of the book that Emily Colson wrote on this subject.\u00a0 We interviewed Emily and her father, Chuck Colson, a couple of months ago and we\u2019ve got copies of the book <em>Dancing With Max<\/em> in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center as well, along with the CD audio of that interview, if you\u2019d like to get that and pass it along to someone you know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Again, find out more when you go online at FailyLifeToday.com or when you call us toll-free at 1-800-FLToday, 1-800, \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201c\u201dL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 When you get in touch with us if you have any questions about these resources we can get those answered for you or we can get the order out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know for a lot of listeners you hear a story like this and the question that keeps coming back is \u201cWhy does allow things like this to happen if He is good, if He is all powerful?\u00a0 What is His purpose in all of this?\u201d\u00a0 Our friend Randy Alcorn wrote a very helpful booklet, 64 pages.\u00a0 It\u2019s actually an except from a larger book on the subject of the goodness of God. This booklet is called \u201cIf God is Good, Why Do We Hurt?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause this is such a challenging issue for so many folks, we want to make that booklet\u00a0 available at no cost to anybody who requests if from us.\u00a0 All you have to do is go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and ask for a copy or call 1-800FLToday to request a copy. Because we\u2019re making these available at no cost we\u2019re asking you to limit it to one per caller or one per household please.\u00a0 But we\u2019d love to get a copy of this book to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re new to FamilyLife Today it\u2019s very easy to request a copy.\u00a0 All you have to do is go online, FamilyLifeToday.com, and the information that you need will be right there.\u00a0 Or just call us, 1-800, \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d is in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY\u201d and we\u2019ve arrange to have a copy of Randy Alcorn\u2019s book, \u201cIf God is Good, Why Do We Hurt?\u201d sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We want to encourage you to be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to find out about some of the curveballs that Dr. Laura Hendrickson has had to face along the way as she has raised an autistic son to adulthood.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get an update on how Eric is doing.\u00a0 That\u2019s on tomorrow\u2019s program.\u00a0 I hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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