{"id":302212,"date":"2011-02-11T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-02-11T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/part-2\/"},"modified":"2011-02-11T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-02-11T17:00:00","slug":"part-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;How do I love thee? Let me count the ways\u2026&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-02-11.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.15M","filesize_raw":"26373395","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2901],"tags":[4868],"podcast_series":[7787],"cwp_profile":[9070],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302212","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-husbands","tag-husband","podcast_series-ten-questions-every-husband-should-ask-his-wife","cwp_profile-tom-elliff","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302212\/part-2","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302212\/part-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"3njv3f6D1I\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/part-2\/\">Part 2<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/part-2\/embed\/#?secret=3njv3f6D1I\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Part 2&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"3njv3f6D1I\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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bodies and women love with their ears.\u00a0 It's the words, and I was unaware, even when I was asking her these questions, of what an impact this was going to have on her and on our relationship, upon the intimacy that we share with each other.\u00a0 Just to know that I cared about these answers seemed to mean a great deal to Jeannie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 11<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll hear suggestions today from Tom Elliff on questions every husband ought to be asking his wife regularly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can imagine there are some wives who are thinking if my husband came home and said, \u201cI have a few questions I want to ask you,\u201d she might get a little tense wondering what is about to come.\u00a0 But there are ten good questions that if a husband asks them in the right way at the right time, these questions can really communicate to a wife that her husband loves her and cares about her and is committed to her being the woman that God wants her to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right, and it's ten questions every husband ought to ask his wife to find out how she's doing spiritually.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And these questions come to us from our guest today, Tom Elliff, who is here with his wife, Jeannie.\u00a0 And they have already unpacked for us five of the ten questions this week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Tom, Jeannie, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Thanks, we're glad to be back, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 For our listeners who don\u2019t know Tom and Jeannie, Tom served for a years as a local church pastor.\u00a0 He and Jeannie also served as missionaries in Zimbabwe, and Tom is a past President of the Southern Baptist Convention.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they have been sharing with us this week really goes back to your 30<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary, Jeannie, when you and Tom had gotten away to celebrate your anniversary.\u00a0 On this particular morning Tom told you to leave your Bible and your scheduler, your planner, back in the room, and he wanted you to take a walk with him.\u00a0 And then over breakfast he pulled out this list of ten questions, and as you said, when he started asking you these questions, you just beamed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 The thing I felt was I was as awed by that experience as I was when he proposed.\u00a0 It was the same kind of feeling, like, whoaaa.\u00a0 This is wonderful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Let me review for our listeners the first five of the ten questions that Tom asked you that morning.\u00a0 The first one was, \"What can I do to cause you to feel more loved and cherished?\"\u00a0 And then, Tom, you asked her, \"What could I do to illustrate the fact that I respect you, your ideas, your role as my wife.\u00a0 How can I assure you that I hear you and understand what's on your heart? \u201c \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat can I do to make you feel absolutely secure?\"\u00a0 She answered that one by saying, \u201cYou can put a security system in our home,\u201d and the next thing that happened was the house burned down.\u00a0 And then, \"What can I do to ensure that you have confidence and joy in our future direction?\"\u00a0 That one prompted a lot of discussion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really did, and it pointed out the need that our wives have for their husbands to be leading and guiding them during every season of the marriage relationship.\u00a0 I think a lot of men take this for granted as you move through those phases of becoming a parent and then the empty nest, and this is a time for men to step forward and to truly love their wives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0And, Tom, lots of men are leaders; they just don't necessarily communicate to their wives where we're going until you're on the trail.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0I think that's right.\u00a0 I think something that Jeannie has encouraged me to understand is the truth that sometimes we say \u2013 \"Men love with their bodies and women love with their ears.\"\u00a0 It's the words.\u00a0 And I was unaware, even when I was asking her these questions, of what an impact this was going to have on her and on our relationship, and on the intimacy that we share with each other.\u00a0 Just to know that I cared about these answers seemed to mean a great deal to Jeannie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was that why it was as strong of an experience or stronger than when he asked you to marry him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, because it was not just \"Jeannie Thomas, I love you, will you marry me?\"\u00a0 It was \"Jeannie Thomas Elliff, I've loved you for 30 years, and this has been wonderful, but I want to do more.\u00a0 I want to do better.\"\u00a0 And that was a wonderful experience.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, question number six.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Question number six \u2013 what attribute would you most like for me to develop?\u00a0 I wasn't really sure that I wanted to open myself up to some new disciplines.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's a risky question to ask.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was an extremely risky question to ask, and I was sorry I asked it after I \u2013 I think maybe we ought to just cut this down to nine questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was this where you recently go the A- right here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0I think this is one of the ones where I got an A- as we were driving over here.\u00a0 She said there were some disciplines in life that I know that you practice, but I would like to see you practicing them more avidly.\u00a0 Part of that was this idea of coming back to our spending time in the morning together, having time for her before I left for work, where she knew she could have my undivided attention, and she was missing that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'd call about mid-afternoon, \"Well, what's goin' on?\"\u00a0 \"Well, you know, I had this meeting and I was counseling this person.\"\u00a0 \"Oh, I didn't know that.\"\u00a0 Well, I could have if I had asked, but she had gone without my prayers that morning because I didn't know what she was facing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think about all the miscommunication that Barbara and I have had and continue to have as we raise two teenagers who are still in our home.\u00a0 I'm thinking back to a conversation about one of our daughters who wanted to go to a concert, an approved concert, on Saturday evening, and Barbara had kind of leaned toward letting our daughter go to that concert.\u00a0 And I hadn't heard anything about it, and it was going to be my weekend home with my daughters, and now, all of a sudden, my daughters are going to go to work all day, and then after they go to work they go to the concert.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, really, the reason for the miscommunication around this was because we have been so busy running to and fro so much, we hadn't had what you're talking about \u2013 a time to sit down and anticipate the question and deal with it and really present a unified answer.\u00a0 And when a teenager senses there's a division \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 oh, they go for the jugular \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2013 in the ranks \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 the weak spot, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2013 and it sometimes can cause a problem in the marriage because one person is feeling like the other person has left them out of the process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, this next question turns this question that you asked her about you, and you are now asking her about how she can improve.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0What attribute would you like me to help you develop in yourself?\u00a0 And she told me, and I was sobered by it.\u00a0 As we talked together a little bit about it she said, \u201cThere are some disciplines in my own life that I really want to develop.\u00a0 I don't need a lecture about it, nor do I need to be told what I look like if I don't participate in it.\u00a0 I just want you to encourage me any way you can.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jeannie, that was a very bold thing to share with a Baptist pastor \u2013 what attributes you'd like to see developed, because he'll come back with three points and a poem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right, exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you remember what those attributes were?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know a lot of them had to do with my own self-esteem.\u00a0 I grew up in a home that was not particularly encouraging, and the Lord has done wonderful things in my life in the years since then, but I know a lot of them had to do with \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Let me mention one.\u00a0 She said, \"I love to teach.\"\u00a0 But she said, \"I don't think I'm as good a teacher as I ought to be.\"\u00a0 Did you know that over the last several years she has, through reading and experience and through thousands of hours of teaching, has become an incredible communicator to women.\u00a0 I remember distinctly her saying, you know, \"I just want to be able to say what's in my heart when I stand before those ladies.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I think what Tom's giving us here is a great illustration of 1 Peter, chapter 3, verse 7 \u2013 \"You husbands likewise live with your wives in an understanding way as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman, and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered.\"\u00a0 And what you're actually giving us, Tom, through these ten questions, are practical ways that a man can live with his wife in an understanding way, because if he asks the question, she answers it, and he listens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0 He's accountable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He's accountable.\u00a0 He's going to hear.\u00a0 He's going to be able to encourage her in something she's maybe wanted to do but maybe doesn't have the confidence.\u00a0 I kind of heard a little bit of a need there for you to become a cheerleader of her as a teacher, and I see you nodding.\u00a0 He became your cheerleader at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 Exactly, and through that, and we have always communicated on Saturday evenings before the Sunday morning sermon, but since that time, we really listen to each other.\u00a0 He tells me these points of his sermon, and we discuss them, and he values what I have to say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0And you do the same thing about your lessons.\u00a0 Well, just yesterday, we were talking about a lesson that she's teaching in 1 Corinthians, and she just had some incredible insights into this passage of Scripture, and so, cheerleader of a sort, yes, I think that's exactly right, but even more than that it was a matter of saying, \"I believe what you're doing is important.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say this \u2013 she had a weekly Bible study that she was teaching at that time, and I had the habit of saying, \"Hey, I'm going to be going to speak over here in,\" you know, such and such a town and \"Why don't you just fly over there with me, and let's just spend the night, and we'll have a good time.\"\u00a0 She said, \"Well, I've got to teach my Bible study.\"\u00a0 I said, \"Oh, listen; get somebody else to teach that.\u00a0 We'll run over there.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe was wanting me to say this \u2013 \"Look, this is important to me.\u00a0 Teaching this Bible lesson to these ladies is really important to me, and you're acting like, 'Hey, that's nothing.\u00a0 Just come on with me, we'll go do the big stuff, and all you're wanting me to do is just go along for the ride.\u00a0 So I want to know that you really think my teaching is important.\"\u00a0 And, boy, I mean, it has really helped me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now we're talking about accountability. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, because if you're pulling her away from her Bible study on a regular basis \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 and I was.\u00a0 Or at least I was asking.\u00a0 She was pretty adamant about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0All right, you talked about attributes that each of you could develop or help one another develop.\u00a0 What was question eight?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Question number eight \u2013 what achievement in my life would bring you greatest joy?\u00a0 Over the past, I had the privilege of \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2013 now wait a second.\u00a0 She's over there grinning.\u00a0 Before you say anything, I want to hear what she's grinning about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, this was a wonderful opportunity for me to, once again, say something that I'd said many times before \u2013 \"I believe my husband is a good communicator verbally, but he's also a good writer,\u201d and I had begged him to get busy and write a book, and he listened.\u00a0 This time he listened, and he did it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0I said, \"Well, you know, what about the other three?\"\u00a0 She said, \"Those don't count.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The other three books you'd written?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah.\u00a0 I said, \"What do you mean they don't count?\"\u00a0 She said, \"Those are nice, but this is now.\u00a0 That was then, and you know that you need to deliver this message on prayer.\u00a0 That's where your heart is.\u00a0 Write a book on prayer.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\"I said that I would do whatever would bring you great joy, if that will bring you great joy, I'll do it.\"\u00a0 And the Lord just engineered the project, and I'm so grateful He did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is kind of an unusual question \u2013 what achievement in my life would bring you great joy?\u00a0 Now some men would not understand why that would be important to ask your wife how something he is achieving would bring her great joy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0There's a little bit of background to that.\u00a0 I had achieved some other things that didn't seem to really get my wife excited.\u00a0 For instance, there were these huge African wildlife trophies hanging on the wall.\u00a0 I'd say, \"Aren't those great?\"\u00a0 She'd say \"Mmmmm.\"\u00a0 I thought, you know, if I go out and bag the big game, she's going to \u2013 that wasn't it and then some of these other athletic endeavors, or being this or that didn't seem to really turn her engine over.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I said, \"What are you waiting for me to do?\u00a0 What is it that would make you happy that I have done what God wanted me to do?\"\u00a0 That's what surfaced.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Also, I see myself truly as Tom's helpmate.\u00a0 To fulfill that job that I have, I feel like I need to encourage him to do the things in the area that God has gifted him, and this is one of the areas that I saw him failing in.\u00a0 He needed to do this, and once it was done, he was tremendously proud of it, and I was, too.\u00a0 I was very excited.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0I was just proud to get it done.\u00a0 But in the process of that, we both discovered that this is something that we really like doing, and we're headed in that direction again.\u00a0 I mean, we really enjoyed the project.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, this is a great question, Tom, for you to ask your wife, because a woman's intuition into her man, if she's been a student over 30 years, as you have been, at that point she can put her man on the right track.\u00a0 He's not going to be running after caped buffaloes somewhere in Africa.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, not exclusively.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I'm a hunter, so this is hard for me to admit here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, you know, Dennis, it feels a little self-serving to ask that question, you know \u2013 what great achievement could I accomplish that would bring you joy, but if a man and woman are one, if there is oneness in marriage, then what I accomplish, we accomplish.\u00a0 And what brings you joy brings me joy, and in that context, now, it's not self-serving at all.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's a way to say how can we together move in a direction, where I'm utilizing what God has gifted me, you're utilizing how God has gifted you, and there's joy in that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you're pulling together as a team in the same direction.\u00a0 Think about the number of couples who are pulling, but they're pulling apart rather than pulling together.\u00a0 Okay, number nine \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Number nine \u2013 what would indicate to you that I really desire to be more Christlike?\u00a0 I don't know how long we talked about this, but I know that my wife would love anything about me that was like Jesus.\u00a0 So I wanted to know the areas of my life where I was not evidencing Christlikeness, and thus the question, what would indicate to you that I really want to be more like Jesus?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI discovered that when I spend time, for instance, in the Word of God on a regular basis, when we have our quiet time, and when we spend time together, all those other issues in our life seem to fall right in place, no problem whatsoever.\u00a0 But if I don't spend that time, and she is aware that I'm not spending that time, that places a lot of what else I do in suspicion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don't mean a suspicion that you're being dishonest, but \"Did you really hear from God on this?\u00a0 Is this really the direction we ought to take?\u00a0 Are we really doing this in a wise manner?\u00a0 Is this good stewardship of our energies or our resources?\u201d\u00a0 The questions that she wouldn't ask unless I asked her, but I know they're lurking around in her mind, unless she knows that I've been shut up to the Lord about this issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I see you nodding your head.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the most beautiful pictures to me is to see Tom seated in his new comfortable chair and with the Word of God in his hands by the lamp, and that is a beautiful picture for a woman \u2013 to see a man humble himself and say to his God, \"Show me the way, and I'll walk in it.\"\u00a0 It gives me confidence in him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And encourages you to follow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 And that's how, again, two people walk together.\u00a0 Okay, number ten.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Question number ten \u2013 what mutual goal would you like to see us accomplish?\u00a0 And we had several that we talked about.\u00a0 There are some things that we want to do, some places that we felt like we could plug in ministry-wise, some opportunities that had presented themselves to us that we felt like, \"Well, now is not the time, but perhaps in the future God will make this possible for us.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust this year when we were on the island of Cyprus speaking with people \u2013 about 400, 500, 600 people who work solely in North Africa in countries where you really can't have mission work, per se.\u00a0\u00a0 You have to be involved in some other kind of aspect of business as well, and we were ministering to them, and we commented while we were there \u2013 \"This is the fulfillment of one of those mutual goals that we have in our heart, a way to make our lives count together.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 And, Dennis, for a husband and wife to have those kinds of mutual goals, again, presses you toward oneness in marriage and away from the drift toward isolation.\u00a0 You can have individual goals, that's not excluded, but you ought to have some goals together where both of you are partners in that endeavor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you're not going to have those mutual goals if you haven't talked, and you haven't truly been a part of hammering out a direction.\u00a0 I think of how many couples go through the process of getting married, having children, and releasing those children, and they are not prepared for the empty nest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course that\u2019s something that has been on your heart and more specifically on your wife Barbara\u2019s heart for years.\u00a0 She\u2019s focused on women.\u00a0 Both of you have just been saying, \u201cThere\u2019s a lot of untapped potential in people who are in the empty nest years, who are rusting out instead of pressing ahead with kingdom priorities.\u201d\u00a0 Barbara wrote a book on it with her friend Susan Yates called <em>Barbara and Susan\u2019s Guide to the Empty Nest<\/em> to encourage women to work through the issues they are going to face as they move into the empty nest years, but then to develop a plan, a strategy, for being ready to tackle life in this particular chapter or season of life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, we\u2019ve got Barbara and Susan\u2019s book on our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, so if folks are interested they can go to the website and find out more and get a copy of that book, and get prepared.\u00a0 Don\u2019t wait until you\u2019re in the empty nest years to get it.\u00a0 Get a copy of the book and read it as you\u2019re headed in that direction so you can be prepared for the empty nest years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then get some time together as a couple, whether you\u2019re headed into the empty nest years or wherever you are in your marriage.\u00a0 If you\u2019re in the first five years of your marriage, get some time together as a couple where you get away and you ask one another the kinds of important questions that we\u2019ve been talking about on the program this week.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t something that you wait until you\u2019re at your 30<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary to pull out these questions, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And yet you're still doing it.\u00a0 Now, how often on an annual basis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, I don't know, we get away every year and spend two weeks together with our Bibles and our notebooks, and we talk and invariably these issues come up, and we just discuss them.\u00a0 Where are we in relationship to these?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 These are evergreen kinds of issues, and you\u2019ve done us a service by putting the questions and some of your reflections on these questions and how couples ought to wrestle through them in book form.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got copies of the book that you wrote on <em>Ten Questions Every Husband Ought to Ask His Wife at Least Once a Year,<\/em> and then you wrote a similar book on questions that a wife ought to ask her husband.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe books are in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center, and folks can find out more when they go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can order copies of the books if you\u2019d like.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY; that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329, to find out more about the books written by our guests today, Tom and Jeannie Elliff.\u00a0 Again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call toll-free 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we wrap up today\u2019s program, this is an exciting day for us here at FamilyLife.\u00a0 In hundreds of cities all around the country tonight, <em>The Art of Marriage <\/em>video event is going to be taking place.\u00a0 In fact, you can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com and click on a link to <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> and find out where this Friday night, Saturday video event is being held in a city near where you live.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s also the kickoff weekend for our spring <em>Weekend to Remember\u00ae <\/em>marriage getaways<em>.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>I think we\u2019ve got about six of those events happening this weekend, and then <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>getaways happening throughout the spring, and I hope you\u2019ll get more information and plan to attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway<em>.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd of course, Monday is Valentine\u2019s Day, and I want to make sure you don\u2019t forget that.\u00a0 You know, what we\u2019re committed to here at FamilyLife is trying to provide you with the kind of practical, solidly biblical help and hope that we all need for our marriage relationship to be all that God intends for it to be.\u00a0 We want to thank those of you who support the ministry to make that happen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe could not do this without you in a very real sense; we are listener supported, and more than 65 percent of our annual revenue comes from donations from people like you.\u00a0 So, if we didn\u2019t have those funds, <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> would not exist, and we appreciate those of you who do support the program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, if you\u2019re able to make a donation to help support us, we want to send you a thank you gift upon your request.\u00a0 It\u2019s a four-CD series, all about romance.\u00a0 There\u2019s a message from Dennis about how to keep the romantic spark burning when things are cloudy and overcast in your marriage relationship.\u00a0 And then there\u2019s an extended conversation with Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus, the authors of a book called <em>Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Women Ask Most Often About Intimacy in Marriage.<\/em>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat four-CD set is our thank you gift this week when you help with a donation to support the ministry.\u00a0 If you donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, just type the word \u201cROMANCE\u201d in the online key code box, so we know to send you a copy of these CDs, or if you\u2019re donating by phone, when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY, just ask for the romance CDs and we\u2019ll send them to you.\u00a0 Again, we appreciate your partnership with us.\u00a0 Thanks for your support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\u00a0 Chip Ingram is going to be here, and we\u2019re going to talk about how we can recalibrate our lives to make sure that what we\u2019re doing is what God would have us be doing.\u00a0 So I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.15M"],"filesize_raw":["26373395"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302212.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302212.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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do I love thee? Let me count the ways\u2026\"","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-02-11.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0When a husband man sits down to talk with his wife and asks her probing questions and then pays close attention to her answers, Pastor Tom Elliff says that husband is loving his wife in a profound way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Sometimes we say men love with their bodies and women love with their ears.\u00a0 It's the words, and I was unaware, even when I was asking her these questions, of what an impact this was going to have on her and on our relationship, upon the intimacy that we share with each other.\u00a0 Just to know that I cared about these answers seemed to mean a great deal to Jeannie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 11<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll hear suggestions today from Tom Elliff on questions every husband ought to be asking his wife regularly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can imagine there are some wives who are thinking if my husband came home and said, \u201cI have a few questions I want to ask you,\u201d she might get a little tense wondering what is about to come.\u00a0 But there are ten good questions that if a husband asks them in the right way at the right time, these questions can really communicate to a wife that her husband loves her and cares about her and is committed to her being the woman that God wants her to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right, and it's ten questions every husband ought to ask his wife to find out how she's doing spiritually.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And these questions come to us from our guest today, Tom Elliff, who is here with his wife, Jeannie.\u00a0 And they have already unpacked for us five of the ten questions this week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Tom, Jeannie, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Thanks, we're glad to be back, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 For our listeners who don\u2019t know Tom and Jeannie, Tom served for a years as a local church pastor.\u00a0 He and Jeannie also served as missionaries in Zimbabwe, and Tom is a past President of the Southern Baptist Convention.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they have been sharing with us this week really goes back to your 30<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary, Jeannie, when you and Tom had gotten away to celebrate your anniversary.\u00a0 On this particular morning Tom told you to leave your Bible and your scheduler, your planner, back in the room, and he wanted you to take a walk with him.\u00a0 And then over breakfast he pulled out this list of ten questions, and as you said, when he started asking you these questions, you just beamed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 The thing I felt was I was as awed by that experience as I was when he proposed.\u00a0 It was the same kind of feeling, like, whoaaa.\u00a0 This is wonderful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Let me review for our listeners the first five of the ten questions that Tom asked you that morning.\u00a0 The first one was, \"What can I do to cause you to feel more loved and cherished?\"\u00a0 And then, Tom, you asked her, \"What could I do to illustrate the fact that I respect you, your ideas, your role as my wife.\u00a0 How can I assure you that I hear you and understand what's on your heart? \u201c \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat can I do to make you feel absolutely secure?\"\u00a0 She answered that one by saying, \u201cYou can put a security system in our home,\u201d and the next thing that happened was the house burned down.\u00a0 And then, \"What can I do to ensure that you have confidence and joy in our future direction?\"\u00a0 That one prompted a lot of discussion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really did, and it pointed out the need that our wives have for their husbands to be leading and guiding them during every season of the marriage relationship.\u00a0 I think a lot of men take this for granted as you move through those phases of becoming a parent and then the empty nest, and this is a time for men to step forward and to truly love their wives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0And, Tom, lots of men are leaders; they just don't necessarily communicate to their wives where we're going until you're on the trail.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0I think that's right.\u00a0 I think something that Jeannie has encouraged me to understand is the truth that sometimes we say \u2013 \"Men love with their bodies and women love with their ears.\"\u00a0 It's the words.\u00a0 And I was unaware, even when I was asking her these questions, of what an impact this was going to have on her and on our relationship, and on the intimacy that we share with each other.\u00a0 Just to know that I cared about these answers seemed to mean a great deal to Jeannie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was that why it was as strong of an experience or stronger than when he asked you to marry him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, because it was not just \"Jeannie Thomas, I love you, will you marry me?\"\u00a0 It was \"Jeannie Thomas Elliff, I've loved you for 30 years, and this has been wonderful, but I want to do more.\u00a0 I want to do better.\"\u00a0 And that was a wonderful experience.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, question number six.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Question number six \u2013 what attribute would you most like for me to develop?\u00a0 I wasn't really sure that I wanted to open myself up to some new disciplines.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's a risky question to ask.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was an extremely risky question to ask, and I was sorry I asked it after I \u2013 I think maybe we ought to just cut this down to nine questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was this where you recently go the A- right here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0I think this is one of the ones where I got an A- as we were driving over here.\u00a0 She said there were some disciplines in life that I know that you practice, but I would like to see you practicing them more avidly.\u00a0 Part of that was this idea of coming back to our spending time in the morning together, having time for her before I left for work, where she knew she could have my undivided attention, and she was missing that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'd call about mid-afternoon, \"Well, what's goin' on?\"\u00a0 \"Well, you know, I had this meeting and I was counseling this person.\"\u00a0 \"Oh, I didn't know that.\"\u00a0 Well, I could have if I had asked, but she had gone without my prayers that morning because I didn't know what she was facing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think about all the miscommunication that Barbara and I have had and continue to have as we raise two teenagers who are still in our home.\u00a0 I'm thinking back to a conversation about one of our daughters who wanted to go to a concert, an approved concert, on Saturday evening, and Barbara had kind of leaned toward letting our daughter go to that concert.\u00a0 And I hadn't heard anything about it, and it was going to be my weekend home with my daughters, and now, all of a sudden, my daughters are going to go to work all day, and then after they go to work they go to the concert.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, really, the reason for the miscommunication around this was because we have been so busy running to and fro so much, we hadn't had what you're talking about \u2013 a time to sit down and anticipate the question and deal with it and really present a unified answer.\u00a0 And when a teenager senses there's a division \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 oh, they go for the jugular \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2013 in the ranks \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 the weak spot, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2013 and it sometimes can cause a problem in the marriage because one person is feeling like the other person has left them out of the process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, this next question turns this question that you asked her about you, and you are now asking her about how she can improve.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0What attribute would you like me to help you develop in yourself?\u00a0 And she told me, and I was sobered by it.\u00a0 As we talked together a little bit about it she said, \u201cThere are some disciplines in my own life that I really want to develop.\u00a0 I don't need a lecture about it, nor do I need to be told what I look like if I don't participate in it.\u00a0 I just want you to encourage me any way you can.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jeannie, that was a very bold thing to share with a Baptist pastor \u2013 what attributes you'd like to see developed, because he'll come back with three points and a poem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right, exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you remember what those attributes were?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know a lot of them had to do with my own self-esteem.\u00a0 I grew up in a home that was not particularly encouraging, and the Lord has done wonderful things in my life in the years since then, but I know a lot of them had to do with \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Let me mention one.\u00a0 She said, \"I love to teach.\"\u00a0 But she said, \"I don't think I'm as good a teacher as I ought to be.\"\u00a0 Did you know that over the last several years she has, through reading and experience and through thousands of hours of teaching, has become an incredible communicator to women.\u00a0 I remember distinctly her saying, you know, \"I just want to be able to say what's in my heart when I stand before those ladies.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I think what Tom's giving us here is a great illustration of 1 Peter, chapter 3, verse 7 \u2013 \"You husbands likewise live with your wives in an understanding way as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman, and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered.\"\u00a0 And what you're actually giving us, Tom, through these ten questions, are practical ways that a man can live with his wife in an understanding way, because if he asks the question, she answers it, and he listens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0 He's accountable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He's accountable.\u00a0 He's going to hear.\u00a0 He's going to be able to encourage her in something she's maybe wanted to do but maybe doesn't have the confidence.\u00a0 I kind of heard a little bit of a need there for you to become a cheerleader of her as a teacher, and I see you nodding.\u00a0 He became your cheerleader at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 Exactly, and through that, and we have always communicated on Saturday evenings before the Sunday morning sermon, but since that time, we really listen to each other.\u00a0 He tells me these points of his sermon, and we discuss them, and he values what I have to say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0And you do the same thing about your lessons.\u00a0 Well, just yesterday, we were talking about a lesson that she's teaching in 1 Corinthians, and she just had some incredible insights into this passage of Scripture, and so, cheerleader of a sort, yes, I think that's exactly right, but even more than that it was a matter of saying, \"I believe what you're doing is important.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say this \u2013 she had a weekly Bible study that she was teaching at that time, and I had the habit of saying, \"Hey, I'm going to be going to speak over here in,\" you know, such and such a town and \"Why don't you just fly over there with me, and let's just spend the night, and we'll have a good time.\"\u00a0 She said, \"Well, I've got to teach my Bible study.\"\u00a0 I said, \"Oh, listen; get somebody else to teach that.\u00a0 We'll run over there.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe was wanting me to say this \u2013 \"Look, this is important to me.\u00a0 Teaching this Bible lesson to these ladies is really important to me, and you're acting like, 'Hey, that's nothing.\u00a0 Just come on with me, we'll go do the big stuff, and all you're wanting me to do is just go along for the ride.\u00a0 So I want to know that you really think my teaching is important.\"\u00a0 And, boy, I mean, it has really helped me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now we're talking about accountability. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, because if you're pulling her away from her Bible study on a regular basis \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2013 and I was.\u00a0 Or at least I was asking.\u00a0 She was pretty adamant about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0All right, you talked about attributes that each of you could develop or help one another develop.\u00a0 What was question eight?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Question number eight \u2013 what achievement in my life would bring you greatest joy?\u00a0 Over the past, I had the privilege of \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2013 now wait a second.\u00a0 She's over there grinning.\u00a0 Before you say anything, I want to hear what she's grinning about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, this was a wonderful opportunity for me to, once again, say something that I'd said many times before \u2013 \"I believe my husband is a good communicator verbally, but he's also a good writer,\u201d and I had begged him to get busy and write a book, and he listened.\u00a0 This time he listened, and he did it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0I said, \"Well, you know, what about the other three?\"\u00a0 She said, \"Those don't count.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The other three books you'd written?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Yeah.\u00a0 I said, \"What do you mean they don't count?\"\u00a0 She said, \"Those are nice, but this is now.\u00a0 That was then, and you know that you need to deliver this message on prayer.\u00a0 That's where your heart is.\u00a0 Write a book on prayer.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\"I said that I would do whatever would bring you great joy, if that will bring you great joy, I'll do it.\"\u00a0 And the Lord just engineered the project, and I'm so grateful He did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is kind of an unusual question \u2013 what achievement in my life would bring you great joy?\u00a0 Now some men would not understand why that would be important to ask your wife how something he is achieving would bring her great joy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0There's a little bit of background to that.\u00a0 I had achieved some other things that didn't seem to really get my wife excited.\u00a0 For instance, there were these huge African wildlife trophies hanging on the wall.\u00a0 I'd say, \"Aren't those great?\"\u00a0 She'd say \"Mmmmm.\"\u00a0 I thought, you know, if I go out and bag the big game, she's going to \u2013 that wasn't it and then some of these other athletic endeavors, or being this or that didn't seem to really turn her engine over.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I said, \"What are you waiting for me to do?\u00a0 What is it that would make you happy that I have done what God wanted me to do?\"\u00a0 That's what surfaced.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Also, I see myself truly as Tom's helpmate.\u00a0 To fulfill that job that I have, I feel like I need to encourage him to do the things in the area that God has gifted him, and this is one of the areas that I saw him failing in.\u00a0 He needed to do this, and once it was done, he was tremendously proud of it, and I was, too.\u00a0 I was very excited.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0I was just proud to get it done.\u00a0 But in the process of that, we both discovered that this is something that we really like doing, and we're headed in that direction again.\u00a0 I mean, we really enjoyed the project.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, this is a great question, Tom, for you to ask your wife, because a woman's intuition into her man, if she's been a student over 30 years, as you have been, at that point she can put her man on the right track.\u00a0 He's not going to be running after caped buffaloes somewhere in Africa.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, not exclusively.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I'm a hunter, so this is hard for me to admit here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, you know, Dennis, it feels a little self-serving to ask that question, you know \u2013 what great achievement could I accomplish that would bring you joy, but if a man and woman are one, if there is oneness in marriage, then what I accomplish, we accomplish.\u00a0 And what brings you joy brings me joy, and in that context, now, it's not self-serving at all.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's a way to say how can we together move in a direction, where I'm utilizing what God has gifted me, you're utilizing how God has gifted you, and there's joy in that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you're pulling together as a team in the same direction.\u00a0 Think about the number of couples who are pulling, but they're pulling apart rather than pulling together.\u00a0 Okay, number nine \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Number nine \u2013 what would indicate to you that I really desire to be more Christlike?\u00a0 I don't know how long we talked about this, but I know that my wife would love anything about me that was like Jesus.\u00a0 So I wanted to know the areas of my life where I was not evidencing Christlikeness, and thus the question, what would indicate to you that I really want to be more like Jesus?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI discovered that when I spend time, for instance, in the Word of God on a regular basis, when we have our quiet time, and when we spend time together, all those other issues in our life seem to fall right in place, no problem whatsoever.\u00a0 But if I don't spend that time, and she is aware that I'm not spending that time, that places a lot of what else I do in suspicion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don't mean a suspicion that you're being dishonest, but \"Did you really hear from God on this?\u00a0 Is this really the direction we ought to take?\u00a0 Are we really doing this in a wise manner?\u00a0 Is this good stewardship of our energies or our resources?\u201d\u00a0 The questions that she wouldn't ask unless I asked her, but I know they're lurking around in her mind, unless she knows that I've been shut up to the Lord about this issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I see you nodding your head.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the most beautiful pictures to me is to see Tom seated in his new comfortable chair and with the Word of God in his hands by the lamp, and that is a beautiful picture for a woman \u2013 to see a man humble himself and say to his God, \"Show me the way, and I'll walk in it.\"\u00a0 It gives me confidence in him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And encourages you to follow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeannie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 And that's how, again, two people walk together.\u00a0 Okay, number ten.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Question number ten \u2013 what mutual goal would you like to see us accomplish?\u00a0 And we had several that we talked about.\u00a0 There are some things that we want to do, some places that we felt like we could plug in ministry-wise, some opportunities that had presented themselves to us that we felt like, \"Well, now is not the time, but perhaps in the future God will make this possible for us.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust this year when we were on the island of Cyprus speaking with people \u2013 about 400, 500, 600 people who work solely in North Africa in countries where you really can't have mission work, per se.\u00a0\u00a0 You have to be involved in some other kind of aspect of business as well, and we were ministering to them, and we commented while we were there \u2013 \"This is the fulfillment of one of those mutual goals that we have in our heart, a way to make our lives count together.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 And, Dennis, for a husband and wife to have those kinds of mutual goals, again, presses you toward oneness in marriage and away from the drift toward isolation.\u00a0 You can have individual goals, that's not excluded, but you ought to have some goals together where both of you are partners in that endeavor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you're not going to have those mutual goals if you haven't talked, and you haven't truly been a part of hammering out a direction.\u00a0 I think of how many couples go through the process of getting married, having children, and releasing those children, and they are not prepared for the empty nest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course that\u2019s something that has been on your heart and more specifically on your wife Barbara\u2019s heart for years.\u00a0 She\u2019s focused on women.\u00a0 Both of you have just been saying, \u201cThere\u2019s a lot of untapped potential in people who are in the empty nest years, who are rusting out instead of pressing ahead with kingdom priorities.\u201d\u00a0 Barbara wrote a book on it with her friend Susan Yates called <em>Barbara and Susan\u2019s Guide to the Empty Nest<\/em> to encourage women to work through the issues they are going to face as they move into the empty nest years, but then to develop a plan, a strategy, for being ready to tackle life in this particular chapter or season of life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, we\u2019ve got Barbara and Susan\u2019s book on our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, so if folks are interested they can go to the website and find out more and get a copy of that book, and get prepared.\u00a0 Don\u2019t wait until you\u2019re in the empty nest years to get it.\u00a0 Get a copy of the book and read it as you\u2019re headed in that direction so you can be prepared for the empty nest years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then get some time together as a couple, whether you\u2019re headed into the empty nest years or wherever you are in your marriage.\u00a0 If you\u2019re in the first five years of your marriage, get some time together as a couple where you get away and you ask one another the kinds of important questions that we\u2019ve been talking about on the program this week.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t something that you wait until you\u2019re at your 30<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary to pull out these questions, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And yet you're still doing it.\u00a0 Now, how often on an annual basis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tom:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, I don't know, we get away every year and spend two weeks together with our Bibles and our notebooks, and we talk and invariably these issues come up, and we just discuss them.\u00a0 Where are we in relationship to these?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 These are evergreen kinds of issues, and you\u2019ve done us a service by putting the questions and some of your reflections on these questions and how couples ought to wrestle through them in book form.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got copies of the book that you wrote on <em>Ten Questions Every Husband Ought to Ask His Wife at Least Once a Year,<\/em> and then you wrote a similar book on questions that a wife ought to ask her husband.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe books are in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center, and folks can find out more when they go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can order copies of the books if you\u2019d like.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY; that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329, to find out more about the books written by our guests today, Tom and Jeannie Elliff.\u00a0 Again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call toll-free 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we wrap up today\u2019s program, this is an exciting day for us here at FamilyLife.\u00a0 In hundreds of cities all around the country tonight, <em>The Art of Marriage <\/em>video event is going to be taking place.\u00a0 In fact, you can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com and click on a link to <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> and find out where this Friday night, Saturday video event is being held in a city near where you live.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s also the kickoff weekend for our spring <em>Weekend to Remember\u00ae <\/em>marriage getaways<em>.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>I think we\u2019ve got about six of those events happening this weekend, and then <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>getaways happening throughout the spring, and I hope you\u2019ll get more information and plan to attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway<em>.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd of course, Monday is Valentine\u2019s Day, and I want to make sure you don\u2019t forget that.\u00a0 You know, what we\u2019re committed to here at FamilyLife is trying to provide you with the kind of practical, solidly biblical help and hope that we all need for our marriage relationship to be all that God intends for it to be.\u00a0 We want to thank those of you who support the ministry to make that happen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe could not do this without you in a very real sense; we are listener supported, and more than 65 percent of our annual revenue comes from donations from people like you.\u00a0 So, if we didn\u2019t have those funds, <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> would not exist, and we appreciate those of you who do support the program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, if you\u2019re able to make a donation to help support us, we want to send you a thank you gift upon your request.\u00a0 It\u2019s a four-CD series, all about romance.\u00a0 There\u2019s a message from Dennis about how to keep the romantic spark burning when things are cloudy and overcast in your marriage relationship.\u00a0 And then there\u2019s an extended conversation with Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus, the authors of a book called <em>Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Women Ask Most Often About Intimacy in Marriage.<\/em>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat four-CD set is our thank you gift this week when you help with a donation to support the ministry.\u00a0 If you donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, just type the word \u201cROMANCE\u201d in the online key code box, so we know to send you a copy of these CDs, or if you\u2019re donating by phone, when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY, just ask for the romance CDs and we\u2019ll send them to you.\u00a0 Again, we appreciate your partnership with us.\u00a0 Thanks for your support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\u00a0 Chip Ingram is going to be here, and we\u2019re going to talk about how we can recalibrate our lives to make sure that what we\u2019re doing is what God would have us be doing.\u00a0 So I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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