{"id":302201,"date":"2011-01-28T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-01-28T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-dangers-of-flirting\/"},"modified":"2011-01-28T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-01-28T17:00:00","slug":"the-dangers-of-flirting","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-dangers-of-flirting\/","title":{"rendered":"The Dangers of Flirting"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jerry Jenkins warns couples about the danger of flirting.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-01-28.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.34M","filesize_raw":"27616577","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809],"tags":[5105],"podcast_series":[7434],"cwp_profile":[3291],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302201","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","tag-lasting-marriage","podcast_series-hedges-loving-your-marriage-enough-to-protect-it","cwp_profile-jerry-jenkins","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302201\/the-dangers-of-flirting","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302201\/the-dangers-of-flirting","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"fc7XZZc0aE\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-dangers-of-flirting\/\">The Dangers of Flirting<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-dangers-of-flirting\/embed\/#?secret=fc7XZZc0aE\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Dangers of Flirting&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"fc7XZZc0aE\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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flirting.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-01-28.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is a distinction between sinning and being tempted to sin, and understanding the difference can actually help you to live a more godly life.\u00a0 Here's Jerry Jenkins.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Being raised in a conservative Bible church and that type of thing, you tend to blame yourself for anything like this \u2013 any temptation, any thought, and you go, \"I'm just the rotten scoundrel,\" and you realize that's what the enemy wants you to think.\u00a0 You are under attack.\u00a0 And that's why I plant hedges, I mean, I don't trust myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, January 28th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0\u00a0 We'll hear today what author Jerry Jenkins means when he talks about putting hedges around his marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReal quickly I need to remind regular <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners that this is my last chance to remind you about the special offer we\u2019ve been making for the last couple of weeks, for you and your spouse or you and your fianc\u00e9 to attend an upcoming FamilyLife<em> Weekend to Remember\u00ae <\/em>marriage getaway in a city near where you live.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to be hosting dozens of these events around the country this spring.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe kick off the season here in a couple of weeks, and if you want to take advantage of the best offer we make all year long, you need to go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, find out more about the getaway<em>,<\/em> when it\u2019s coming to a city near where you live, what weekend is the right weekend for you.\u00a0 Get all of the details put together, and then as you register online at FamilyLifeToday.com, when you get to the key code box on the registration form just type my name; type \u201cBOB\u201d into the key code box, and when you go to register, you\u2019ll pay full price for your registration and your spouse will come free.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a buy one, get one free offer.\u00a0 It expires this weekend, so if you want to take advantage of this, you need to act now.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com, register for an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway, or call us toll-free, 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you register make sure to identify yourself as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener so that they will know that you\u2019re qualified for this special offer that we\u2019re making for listeners, and then get ready to attend what will be a fun, romantic weekend getaway for you and your spouse -- the FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway<em>.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Find out more at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow we\u2019re going to talk today about the subject of protecting our marriages.\u00a0 It reminds me of a story that I\u2019ve never forgotten.\u00a0 Mary Ann and I were traveling once, and we were in the Phoenix airport.\u00a0 This was years ago.\u00a0 In the middle of the airport in one of the terminals there are these escalators, long escalators that go from the upper level down to the baggage claim area.\u00a0 And in the olden days, you\u2019re going down while others are coming up on the escalator next to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And as we were traveling down the escalator, Mary Ann and I, kind of at the same time, noticed a woman who was coming up the escalator, who was \u2013 she was not particularly modestly dressed, and I remember I noticed her, and then I kind of looked out of the corner of my eye to see if my wife had noticed her, and she had, and the reason I knew she had was because as soon as she noticed her \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>. . . she started watching you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mary Ann looked right up at me to see where my eyes were.\u00a0 I remember seeing out of the corner of my eye, and I said, \"I'm not looking, I'm not looking,\" just reassuring her I'm bouncing my eyes away from where they shouldn't be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you were planting some hedges around your marriage, and you were a smart man, Bob.\u00a0 I don't know if you'd read Jerry Jenkins\u2019 book at that time, because you later interviewed him when you were down in San Antonio at KSLR.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, this was actually when the book first came out back in 1989 or 1990, and we did a phone interview.\u00a0 I remember in reading the book, there were some things I was doing that I hadn't formalized, either, but there were some other things in the book that I thought, \"I hadn't really thought about that.\u00a0 I'm glad to have somebody who is a little farther down the path pointing these things out to me, so that I can benefit from that wisdom.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think one advantage I have on this topic, anyway \u2013 is that I'm not a professional.\u00a0 I'm not a counselor, I'm not trained, I'm not a theologian, not a scholar, I'm just a guy.\u00a0 I mean, I'm a writer but, you know, I'm like anybody else.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Now, wait a second \u2013 17 New York bestsellers, 155 books \u2013 I'm sorry, Jerry, I may be from Ozark, Missouri, but \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2026 you're not just like any other guy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Can't you help me with my humility?\u00a0 But in this area, I definitely am like anybody else, and I think people read, and they identify, and they say, \"This is not somebody who sets himself up as an expert and is talking down to me.\"\u00a0 I mean, when I go out and speak on the subject, I'd love to say, \"Yes, I'm visible because I'm associated with a fiction series that's popular,\" and all that type of thing, and people might see me as a Christian leader, and I'd love to say, \"I'm above this.\"\u00a0 You know, \"You really must get yourself under control and win over this.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe fact is, I'm a fellow struggler, and I need hedges, and I plant hedges, and those hedges show my weaknesses, and that's what I'm trying to get people to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, and you helped Bob plant some hedges on an escalator, and I think that's a pretty cool place to grow hedges.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The real question is when you're on that escalator alone, how fast are you looking away?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, there you go.\u00a0 You don't know this, Jerry, but a number of years ago, in fact, I got my only spanking in eighth grade English, so even though I've written some books, my eighth grade English teacher has rolled over in her grave that my name would grace the cover of any book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I attended a conference where you spoke in Minneapolis I believe it was 1985, at the Billy Graham School of Writing for wannabe authors.\u00a0 I really think you were the featured speaker, and I think you gave me the most takeaway at that time as a speaker at that event.\u00a0 But I really do appreciate your writing.\u00a0 My kids have enjoyed the <em>Left Behind<\/em> series; Barbara and I have as well, and so have how many millions of Americans \u2013 how many millions of copies has that series now sold?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's in the 60 million range.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Wow.\u00a0 Well, I hope <em>Hedges<\/em> goes as far, because we live in an age today where there needs to be a lot of hedges planted around marriages today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Wasn't it at that conference in Minneapolis where you faced a temptation?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, I've told the story so many times, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0But it just fits here because you were talking to the guy who would later write the book <em>Hedges.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, well, you don't know this, Jerry, but at the conference I was staying at the Holiday Inn, and it had the world's slowest elevator.\u00a0 I was on the third floor, pushed the button, I could hear it coming, and I, all of a sudden, remember the night before how slow it was.\u00a0 So I headed for the stairs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I stepped out in the stairwell, there was a \u2013 I don't know if it was <em>Playboy<\/em>, I didn't check the cover, but it was laid out, centerfold, pornography.\u00a0 I've said over the years, if there had been a bear trap opened with its jaws gaping at me, it wouldn't have been any less real.\u00a0 It's amazing how quickly my mind thought as I stepped over it and went on downstairs.\u00a0 I mean, I thought about no one will know.\u00a0 I can pick it up and put it in my briefcase.\u00a0 I can look at it later. God will know.\u00a0 I'll have to tell Barbara \u2013 all those thoughts in probably a second-and-a-half.\u00a0 You know how the human mind processes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I went to the school of writing where you were speaking and came back at the end of the day and, honestly, I had forgotten all about the magazine.\u00a0 Besides, it was 6:30, 7:00 at night, 12 hours later, all right?\u00a0 I pushed the button for the elevator; I could hear it coming.\u00a0 It's ridiculous how slow it is.\u00a0 It's coming from a third floor down to the first floor, and so I started dancing up the stairs.\u00a0 Guess what is still waiting at the top of those stairs?\u00a0 That magazine is still there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, personally, I believe that was a real pivotal point in my life, my marriage, my family, and ultimately my ministry.\u00a0 I think it was a test.\u00a0 I wonder how many people face those tests and \u2013 well, God gave me the grace to step aside, and I did, but who knows what was hanging in the balance in those milliseconds as we face the issue?\u00a0 And that's really what you're challenging people to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really I am.\u00a0 It's always shocking to people to hear how common this is among men and among Christian men.\u00a0 I think about the world, you know, the secular world if they hear this, thinking how paranoid we are \u2013 \"You're worried about a little magazine that everybody reads, and there's millions of subscribers.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey don't care what happens to marriages and to families and the chaos that results from adultery, which is the end result of all this.\u00a0 If you let yourself go and decide that pornography is okay, and so is anything that comes across the Internet, and so is any kind of interaction with somebody that's not related to you, a female, who knows where it's going to end, and we care.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Is this book written to men?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really is.\u00a0 I don't pretend to be able to think for women, but I get a lot of letters from women who read the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We've talked already this week about one of the hedges that you've had in place in your own life \u2013 that you're not going to travel or dine with somebody of the opposite sex with whom you are not related.\u00a0 What are some of the others?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>One of the things I'm real careful about is flirting.\u00a0 Flirting is fun.\u00a0 Flirting can give you a sexual rush.\u00a0 I like to be funny, I like to engage in repartee, and the easiest form of humor is the double entendre.\u00a0 And yet I've learned, and I've seen it happen with couples \u2013 in fact, again, in my childhood church there were two couples that socialized all the time, and the husband of one of the couples and the wife of the other would banter that way in front of people, and everybody thought it was funny \u2013 \"Why don't you dump this guy and run off with me?\"\u00a0 And, you know, that type of thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd it's funny and it's innocuous, because it's in front of people.\u00a0 Well, at some point, something happened in one of those marriages, and those two got together; two marriages broken up, new one started, and that eventually dissolved as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy rule is: flirting is great, flirting is fun, I'll flirt with my wife, and you flirt with yours.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How would you define flirting?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, any kind of suggestive comment, and the type of thing I said, you know, \"Run off with me,\" or \"Wow, you look hot today,\" and \"If only I was married to you,\" you know, things like that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are comments and flirtatious things that you do with your wife that are totally appropriate.\u00a0 You can play footsie with your wife under the table and tickle her and say things to her, and it leads to where it's supposed to lead to.\u00a0 But with somebody else, you're flirting, and you're doing, in essence, all this verbal foreplay, and you don't get to go anywhere past that \u2013 you better not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I always use the Golden Rule.\u00a0 I think, \"Should I say to this woman anything that I would not want my wife to hear from another man or say to another man?\"\u00a0 That will curb a lot of suggestive comment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think the flirting occurs around the face.\u00a0 If you go and look in Proverbs, chapter 7, the way the harlot got the undiscerning youth as he was walking down the street, was there were a number of things she did.\u00a0 She brazenly offered him a delightful evening together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe eyes are where the initial attraction go \u2013 for me, Jerry.\u00a0 I meet a lot of people, and you do, too.\u00a0 I just have to be careful.\u00a0 I've never forgotten what Tim Kimmel's wife, Darcy Kimmel, said on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> one time.\u00a0\u00a0 She said, \"There are men, when I meet them, who are green light men, in their eyes, they're on \"Go.\"\u00a0 There are other men who are red light as in \"Stop,\" and they don't want to go anywhere.\u00a0 And she said, \"A woman can spot a man who is \u2018Stop\u2019 or \u2018Go.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 And, for me, because of my desire to honor my wife Barbara and honor our covenant, I want to be the guy who says \"Stop.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I've been with guys who will say, \"Man, the other night I was in a deal innocently, and a woman comes up and starts flirting with me and starts propositioning me,\" and I'll have guys tell me this, and I'm thinking to myself, \"I've been married 26 years \u2013 \"that has never happened to me.\"\u00a0 And maybe it is that I'm not giving off the vibes, and maybe they are giving off some vibes that they need to pay attention to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot does happen in the eyes, and you make eye contact and smile, and guys can tell, too, if there's interest.\u00a0 And one great hedge I got from a mutual friend of ours who will remain unnamed, but he said he was on a plane one time, and an attractive woman sat next to him, and they started just chatting.\u00a0 He thought, \"This could go anywhere.\"\u00a0 They're both traveling alone, and they're away from home, and they could go out for a drink or for a meal or who knows what.\u00a0 And he realized that she found him attractive, and he sure found her attractive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said the first thing he did, he just grabbed his wallet out of his pocket, and he said, \"Let me show you what I'm about.\u00a0 This is my wife, these are my daughters,\" and he said he could just almost hear his daughters off that picture saying, \"Thanks, Dad, for honoring our mom and honoring your marriage.\"\u00a0 And, of course, the woman was so impressed, \"Oh, isn't it sweet that you love your family so much,\" and it changed the whole tenor of the conversation.\u00a0 That's a great hedge.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It really is.\u00a0 In fact, because of airplane trips and some of the small commuter flights that we go on these days, I find myself seated next to women frequently.\u00a0 It really needs to be a part of your conversation, to talk about your wife, and just say, \"You know, my wife and I are involved in building marriages and families.\"\u00a0 It's fun and it's interesting to see where the conversation goes from that point on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Either that or put on your headphones and get out your Bible and just start doing Bible study there, and the conversation will go away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, a great hedge is the Bible in the lap, that's true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No doubt about it.\u00a0 Jerry, you also have a hedge that you've built around something that our ministry here at FamilyLife is totally committed to, and that's the covenant.\u00a0 You believe in the marriage covenant and revisiting that covenant frequently is a strong, stout hedge.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, one of my hedges is that I remind Diana often that I remember what I said January 23, 1971, and basically that just comes to repeating it.\u00a0 I might come in the house at the end of the workday, and we're embracing, and I just say, \"I'm still keeping you only unto myself for as long as we both shall live.\"\u00a0 She doesn't demand that.\u00a0 She's not saying, \"I didn't hear it for three days, so what's the deal?\"\u00a0 But I think it's an important thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we go to weddings, we hear people say this, and it's sort of stilted language, and it goes with all the flowers and the train and the candles and all that stuff, and it sort of gets folded in, and I think sometimes people forget what a sacred vow they're making.\u00a0 They're telling God, they're telling their spouse, \"I'll keep you only unto myself,\" because that's the vow that eventually gets broken and ruins everything and creates all this chaos.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You've got a hedge in the area of touching.\u00a0 What are your guidelines there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's another one where I take a lot of heat for that, and old friends will say, \"I don't know whether I should touch you or not,\" you know, but \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Are they saying you're a legalist?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, sure, yeah.\u00a0 I'm paranoid, and I'm an old conservative and all this stuff.\u00a0 Again, I'll trade that humiliation for my marriage.\u00a0 But I think we've actually come a healthy way from when I was a child.\u00a0 When I was a kid, you know, men shook hands, but you didn't touch women, and now I think there's a more healthy \u2013 you embrace people in public and that type of thing, but there's a fine line to draw there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow long is the embrace?\u00a0 Where is the embrace?\u00a0 And you have to always keep in mind, too, what is in the mind of the other person?\u00a0 What if this is a person who is really shattered at home, hasn't been touched for six weeks?\u00a0 Now you're embracing them and instead of just greeting them and saying, \"Hello,\" you embrace them a little too long, and they're, like, melting.\u00a0 You don't know that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI suppose the only time that I make people feel awkward is when a stranger or somebody I really don't know that well, comes up with a big arms out, and I reach to shake hands.\u00a0 I mean, because they have to switch and go, you know.\u00a0 But it isn't appropriate to have a full-on embrace with somebody that you don't know them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Jerry, I want to ask you a pretty personal question at this point.\u00a0 You've written 155 books, 17 New York Times bestsellers, you've been on <em>Larry King<\/em>, been on TV, you've had to travel alone to some big cities, ever felt like there was a target on you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did you ever feel like somebody was coming after you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and the enemy is there. Of course, because of the way I was raised in a conservative Bible church and that type of thing \u2013 you tend to blame yourself for anything like this \u2013 any temptation, any thought, any impurity, you go, \"I'm just the rotten scoundrel,\" and you realize that that's what the enemy wants you to think.\u00a0 You are under attack, and that's why I plant hedges, I mean, I don't trust myself.\u00a0 If Scripture says, \"Flee,\" I'm not going to be the one who says, \"Well, I'm one who is above it, and I can stand above it.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first thing I do when I get to a hotel, before I even take my coat off, I block out the porn channels from TV.\u00a0 I mean, I'd love to say, \"That stuff is disgusting, I would never want to look at that, it's horrible.\"\u00a0 I mean, I know it is, and it would make you feel regret, and you'd feel like you'd have to confess and the whole thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'd rather just deal with it when I'm sane and not say, \"Well, you're tired, you're away from home, what's a little of this, everybody watches it, millions of people watch this, and what is it but an image.\" There are all kinds of ways to rationalize it.\u00a0 But it's the little fox that will spoil the vine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>As you were sharing that story, I thought about being in a hotel room in Kansas City a number of years ago, and I've shared this story before with our listeners.\u00a0 But the phone rang, and it was a woman on the phone, and she said, \"Hi, what are you doing?\"\u00a0 I said, \"Well, I'm watching a movie.\"\u00a0 I was at the Kansas City conference; it was a <em>Weekend to Remember.<\/em>\u00a0 I was teaching married couples how to have strong, solid marriages, and it was back in the days when our ministry couldn't afford to send our wives with us.\u00a0 I mean we were getting by on a thimble and a shoe string, and Barbara wasn't with me, I was alone. She was back home with our six kids who were 12 and under at the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe woman kept on \u2013 she said, \"Well, can I come up?\"\u00a0 I said, \"I don't think that would be a good idea,\" and she said, \"Why?\"\u00a0 I said, \"Well, two reasons.\u00a0 Number one, I'm happily married.\u00a0 I've got a wonderful, beautiful wife back in Little Rock, Arkansas, with a great family and, number two, the movie that I'm watching is \"The Ten Commandments.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not conducive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It's not conducive to stepping outside the hedges.\u00a0 And, you know, I thank God for a healthy fear of him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The proverb says, \"The fear of the Lord turns one from evil,\" and I think today some fresh teaching around the fear of God may be needed to turn some men's hearts back to their wives and back to their families to protect them.\u00a0 Jerry, I just appreciate you and your ministry of writing.\u00a0 Keep it up, and I look forward to the next 155 books that you crank out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was depressing, but thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Personally, I'm glad that this one that you cranked out is back, because I know for a number of years you couldn't get it, and now it's back available, and I think it's a book that we need today.\u00a0 I think it's a book that we need to encourage men and women to read so that we build some boundaries and some safeguards around our relationship, because we're seeing too many husbands and wives who are getting sidetracked.\u00a0 I think your book is going to be some preventive medicine for some of those marriages and for couples who don't even stop and think right now, \"Boy, we could be headed in the wrong direction.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe've copies of the book, <em>Hedges,<\/em> in our FamilyLife resource center.\u00a0 Included with the book there is a free DVD in the back, which is great for a men's group to watch or for a husband to view on his own.\u00a0 Again, you can request a copy of the book when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and that will take you to where you need to go to get a copy, again, of Jerry's book, <em>Hedges.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile you\u2019re on our website don\u2019t forget: this is your last opportunity for us to remind you of the special offer for <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners to attend an upcoming FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway and to do it at a special <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listener rate.\u00a0 When you sign up this weekend and you register at the regular rate, your spouse comes free.\u00a0 It\u2019s a buy one, get one free offer, and to take advantage of it, you need to register before the weekend is over, and you need to let us know that you\u2019re a <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listener.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou do that by typing in my name into the key code box on the online registration form at FamilyLifeToday.com, or by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY, register over the phone and just mention that you\u2019re a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener.\u00a0 That\u2019s really all you need to do.\u00a0 If you have any questions about the <em>Weekend to Remember,<\/em> it\u2019s a great getaway weekend for couples, you can find out more about it online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or just call us with any questions you have at 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 We hope you and your spouse are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we are going to be joined by Reggie Joiner.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about parenting and why it takes more than a mom and a dad to raise kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Reggie:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019re an organization that helps churches and families reinvent how they raise the next generation in a lot of ways.\u00a0 We think it takes the influence of the parent and the influence of the church, and so we want to help churches and families rethink the way they partner.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ll see what he has to say about that.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back on Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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