{"id":302195,"date":"2011-01-17T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-01-17T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/spiritually-mismatched-seeing-heart-to-heart\/"},"modified":"2011-01-17T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-01-17T17:00:00","slug":"spiritually-mismatched-seeing-heart-to-heart","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/spiritually-mismatched-seeing-heart-to-heart\/","title":{"rendered":"Spiritually Mismatched: Seeing Heart to Heart"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What happens when a believer marries an unbeliever?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-01-17.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"21.95M","filesize_raw":"23013317","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2861],"tags":[4837],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[8828],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302195","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritually-mismatched","tag-troubled-marriage","cwp_profile-various-guests","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302195\/spiritually-mismatched-seeing-heart-to-heart","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302195\/spiritually-mismatched-seeing-heart-to-heart","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"j1o2bbGCDn\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/spiritually-mismatched-seeing-heart-to-heart\/\">Spiritually Mismatched: Seeing Heart to Heart<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/spiritually-mismatched-seeing-heart-to-heart\/embed\/#?secret=j1o2bbGCDn\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Spiritually Mismatched: Seeing Heart to Heart&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"j1o2bbGCDn\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-01-17.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-01-17.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0All across the country in tens of thousands of homes, individuals are expressing a common frustration of being spiritually mismatched.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong>\u00a0 One time I asked him, I said you know, \u201cDo you pray to God?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 2:<\/strong>\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t believe that Jesus is the only way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 3:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t see him seeking answers between himself and God and the Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong>\u00a0I would love to sit in a pew next to her on Sunday morning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, January 17<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today to some folks who are in spiritually mismatched marriages and try to provide some help and some hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition.\u00a0 Dennis, I was driving into work not long ago listening to one of these call-in talk shows.\u00a0 This was not on a Christian station, and \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You weren\u2019t listening to our broadcast, Bob?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our broadcast was over, so I\u2019d tuned to a different station. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, that\u2019s real good, Bob.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you . . .\u00a0 Anyway, go ahead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 Our broadcast was over.\u00a0 I was listening to a different station.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 You\u2019re safe.\u00a0 You\u2019re safe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I heard a caller calling in, and she was talking about these Christians who try to convert everybody else and tell them that the way they\u2019re living is wrong.\u00a0 She was going on and on about those Christians, and she said, \u201cI mean, I\u2019m a Christian, but I\u2019m not that kind of Christian.\u201d\u00a0 I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s exactly what we\u2019re going to be dealing with on the broadcast today, folks who find themselves married to somebody who says, \u2018I\u2019m a Christian.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But not one of those.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cNot that kind of Christian.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and you may be married to somebody that you\u2019re going, \u201cI think I\u2019m married to a liberal Christian.\u201d\u00a0 You know, somebody who professes Christ but who doesn\u2019t believe the Scripture is God\u2019s Word.\u00a0 So what do you do with that?\u00a0 How do you maintain unity in your marriage, in raising a family, if you can\u2019t agree around the basic tenets of the faith?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A while back we took some phone calls from folks who were in spiritually mismatched marriages.\u00a0 Today we\u2019re going to hear from a couple of folks who call in with that very situation.\u00a0 They\u2019re married to someone who says, \u201cI\u2019m a Christian, but I\u2019m just not as fanatical about it as you are,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t hold the same exact convictions.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat can be a source of tension in a marriage relationship.\u00a0 Let\u2019s listen together.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a couple of phone calls here that we took recently from listeners who are in that kind of a situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Hi, Holly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0Hi, Dennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hi, Dennis.\u00a0 Hi, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hey, thanks for calling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What\u2019s going on in your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, when we were first married we both grew up in a liberal mainline denomination and didn\u2019t really have that personal relationship with the Lord.\u00a0 Since that time I have become born again and just totally transformed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How long ago, Holly?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Fifteen years ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 And my husband is kind of still the same way, and even though we go to a Bible-believing church.\u00a0 The Word is preached faithfully, he\u2019s there every Sunday.\u00a0 He\u2019s involved in church.\u00a0 I don\u2019t see the fruit and the desire is not there in him to really read the Word and to be the spiritual leader of our home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He would say he\u2019s a Christian.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, because when he was twelve he made the commitment in this liberal church that he accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior.\u00a0 He believes that Jesus is his Savior \u2013 but there are some very essential things that he doesn\u2019t believe, such as he doesn\u2019t believe that Jesus is the only way.\u00a0 And he doesn\u2019t believe in the infallibility of the Scripture, he\u2019s not sure about heaven, you know, just some real basic things like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Every time I try to talk about anything he gets real defensive and he doesn\u2019t want to talk about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Would people at your church \u2013 would they know about these areas of doctrine with him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 No, I don\u2019t think so.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Everybody there figures he\u2019s just . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 . . . he\u2019s just one of the guys and right along with the crowd\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And Bob, this is a huge problem . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 in most churches.\u00a0 We go to church with one another weekend after weekend after weekend, we say, \u201cHi,\u201d we say, \u201cHow you doing?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNice sermon.\u00a0 Very good job, Pastor.\u201d\u00a0 And yet no one peels the onion . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 . . . beneath the surface to find out what\u2019s going on in a man\u2019s life or in a woman\u2019s life to say, \u201cHow are you doing spiritually?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And yet that needs to be happening.\u00a0 It needs to be happening for the sake of Holly and their two children, and for the sake of that man.\u00a0 He needs someone to step into his life, to ask him how he\u2019s doing in his relationship with Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think you\u2019re very wise to look at the fruit of your husband\u2019s life and ask yourself, \u201cIs it consistent with what is true about a Christian?\u00a0 Does he hunger and thirst for the Word of God?\u00a0 Is he motivated toward righteous living?\u00a0 Is he a person who seeks to walk with Christ on a daily basis?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cIs his life characterized by his Christian faith?\u201d\u00a0 And if that\u2019s not at the center of his life, then the Bible tells him in 2 Corinthians chapter 13, verse 5 that he needs to examine himself to see if he\u2019s in the faith.\u00a0 That was Paul\u2019s word to the Corinthians.\u00a0 He said, \u201cYou guys need to reconsider whether you\u2019re really a believer if the way you\u2019re living doesn\u2019t bear witness to what you profess to be true.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would encourage you guys to get involved with other couples from church in social settings, maybe in some Bible study settings, where it could naturally kind of leak out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019re in a small group and we\u2019ve been with them for almost two years, and we\u2019re having a couples retreat with our Bible study this weekend, and I\u2019m really praying that maybe some of this might be able to be addressed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What I might encourage you to do \u2013 and I\u2019m not asking you to be deceitful about this \u2013 but maybe go to the strongest man that your husband knows who\u2019s going to be at this retreat, and go to him and just say to him privately \u2013 along with his wife being there, of course \u2013 but say to him, \u201cYou know, I have reason to question whether my husband is really a believer or not.\u00a0 Would you mind seeking him out over the next couple of days to take a walk and just kind of feel him out and where he is in his own personal relationship with God?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s being wise to realize that more than likely God\u2019s going to use your life to lead him to Christ, but he may want to use another man to truly pierce his soul and to truly introduce him to the Savior.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me tell you a story, okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had been involved in outreach ministry for three years in college.\u00a0 I had been working on high school campuses sharing Christ with other kids, and I had a friend of mine at a Bible study who asked me, \u201cCould I meet with you sometime next week?\u201d\u00a0 And I thought, \u201cSure, we can get together.\u201d\u00a0 Candidly I thought, \u201cI wonder what question he wants me to answer for him.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s just how arrogant I was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got together and he said, \u201cYou know what? I don\u2019t think you get it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I said, \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d\u00a0 And he said, \u201cI don\u2019t think you understand the nature of the Gospel or your own salvation.\u201d\u00a0 And for the next 15 or 20 minutes he hit me between the eyes and frankly, I wasn\u2019t very happy with him.\u00a0 I thought he was kind of arrogant, you know, for bringing all of this up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But the Lord used that in my life to bring me to himself, because he was 100 percent right.\u00a0 I was still resting in my own pride, I was still trusting in my own abilities.\u00a0 I was not yet converted.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The Lord used that situation to bring me to himself.\u00a0 So I would say, let\u2019s look for opportunities for someone to get one-on-one with your husband and say, \u201cYou know, let\u2019s just review this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cAre you sure that what you\u2019re expressing as your religious convictions, are you sure that\u2019s right?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And let God take care of the rest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Holly, thanks for calling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you so much.\u00a0 You\u2019ve really . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Great to talk to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 . . . really helped me a lot.\u00a0 I appreciate you guys.\u00a0 God bless you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis and Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bye bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bye bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, Dennis, you can understand where it\u2019s difficult in a situation like Holly\u2019s where a husband has made a profession of faith, he\u2019s going to church, he\u2019s involved, and yet you don\u2019t see spiritual hunger, you don\u2019t see someone who is motivated by the things of Christ, and you scratch your head and you go, \u201cAm I married to a Christian or not?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 And then you become preoccupied with it and if you\u2019re not careful it becomes an obsession.\u00a0 If I\u2019m speaking to a wife right now where she\u2019s had an obsession with this, you\u2019re much better off backing off and taking the route that Holly has, apparently, which is prayer, gaining some others to pray for him, not making this the topic of discussion between you and your spouse unless he or she raises the issue and wants to talk about it.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s very easy in these situations, Bob, for a husband especially to feel like his wife is nagging him.\u00a0 He\u2019ll feel like she\u2019s pressuring him, and that will make it even that much more difficult for him to come to a point of placing his faith in Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And so silence really is the best tactic.\u00a0 Prayer is the key, and asking God to raise up others who can intersect that person\u2019s life and speak to him directly about his spiritual condition.\u00a0 Unfortunately today, the church \u2013 we\u2019re all too satisfied with the shallowness of our interactions on Sunday or in Bible studies, and we need to be stopping one another and saying, \u201cHow are you really doing?\u201d putting our arms around one another.\u00a0 \u201cAre you guys doing okay?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cHow are you doing spiritually?\u00a0 Are you growing?\u201d\u00a0 And maybe then \u2013 don\u2019t accept their first answer.\u00a0 Probe a little deeper.\u00a0 All of us are deeply in need of the Spirit of God, the Word of God, and the person of God to be guiding us as we hammer out life in a marriage and a family today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Would you counsel Holly, would you recommend to her that she suggest the two of them coming to a <em>Weekend to Remember\u00ae <\/em>marriage getaway<em>,<\/em> or is that too aggressive for her to try to do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I might.\u00a0 It really depends on what\u2019s going on.\u00a0 If she hasn\u2019t been quiet for some time and if she\u2019s really been kind of nagging at him, then maybe the best thing is to wait.\u00a0 But if she hasn\u2019t said anything in a long time, maybe just make the recommendation.\u00a0 \u201cWhy don\u2019t we have a romantic getaway?\u00a0 I promise you it will be a weekend to remember.\u201d\u00a0 And just smile at him and make the arrangements, and say, \u201cLet\u2019s go.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the deal, Bob.\u00a0 The <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is designed for this guy, or, for that matter, a wife who may be lukewarm or may be even mildly hostile toward Christianity.\u00a0 We don\u2019t shove it down anybody\u2019s throat.\u00a0 It is unapologetically based on the Bible; we speak clearly.\u00a0 But I\u2019m going to tell you \u2013 the speakers and how we go about it \u2013 all of us come out of the authenticity of our own lives, how we\u2019ve failed, and we use our failures to do the majority of our teaching.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well I ask the question because right now, this week and next week we\u2019re making a special offer to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners.\u00a0 If you want to attend one of our upcoming spring <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>Marriage Getaways<em>, <\/em>when you register this week or next week and identify yourself as a <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listener, you register at the regular rate and your spouse comes free.\u00a0 So it\u2019s a buy one, get one free offer.\u00a0 All you have to do is go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get the information there about locations and dates and when the conference is going to be in what location, and then as you fill out the registration form, there\u2019s a key code box.\u00a0 If you type my name, you type \u201cBOB\u201d in the key code box, we\u2019ll know you\u2019re a listener, you will get the buy one, get one free offer for <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners.\u00a0 You have to register either this week or next week to take advantage of this special offer.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and register over the phone, and just mention that you listen to <em>FamilyLife Today;<\/em> we can answer any questions you have about the getaway, and we can get you registered by phone.\u00a0 But again, this week and next week, if you want to take advantage of this special offer, we need to hear from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we\u2019re talking today about marriages where couples are spiritually mismatched, and we\u2019ve been taking phone calls in recent days.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got Dawn joining us from New Jersey.\u00a0 Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I sure hope we can be of some help to you this afternoon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I hope so, too.\u00a0 I live with the consequences that I married an unsaved man eight years ago.\u00a0 I was convinced before we were married and even the first few years after our marriage that he would become a Christian, and it didn\u2019t happen.\u00a0 I learned I have to trust it to be in God\u2019s time, not in mine.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a three-year-old son, and my husband is like a boarder in our house.\u00a0 He brings home a paycheck and that\u2019s about it.\u00a0 He\u2019s not much of a husband and not much of a father, and he\u2019s not really involved in either one of our lives at all.\u00a0 Spiritually I\u2019m committed to the marriage, but it\u2019s really hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What does he do when he gets home in the evening, Dawn?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, my husband actually works nights, so he sleeps during the day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you gone during the day?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I\u2019m a stay-at-home mom.\u00a0 I stay home with my son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you do have some time when he\u2019s awake and there at home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, when he\u2019s awake.\u00a0 He sleeps most of the day.\u00a0 He usually sleeps until about an hour before he has to go to work.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you have any kind of interaction time with him, what happens?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Honestly \u2013 sometimes he works weekends too, and we really don\u2019t have any time.\u00a0 I mean, he sleeps like almost all the time.\u00a0 We really don\u2019t do anything.\u00a0 I mean, not only with each other but as a family.\u00a0 When he\u2019s awake he might watch a video with my son, but there\u2019s no interaction.\u00a0 I mean he has no desire to be involved in anything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about going to church with you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 No, he has periodically gone in the past, but it\u2019s been probably at least \u2013 probably almost two years since he\u2019s gone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you a Christian when you married him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you know what you were doing when you married him, or did you think you were marrying a Christian?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I knew what I was doing, but I thought for sure that he was going to become a Christian, and I know that that\u2019s wrong.\u00a0 I mean, now especially, I know that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What would you say to someone who is listening right now, a single person who is dating someone who is not a believer?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say to get out while you can, before you get any more emotionally attached.\u00a0 I never would have imagined that it would be as painful as it is, and that\u2019s kind of one of my prayers, is that if even one person can hear me say not only not to date a nonbeliever, but \u2013 or not to marry, but not to date or become involved with a non-believer because it really brings you down, and you need double spiritual energy to keep plugging along.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dawn, if I were to call your husband at work and say, \u201cTell me about your marriage.\u00a0 On a scale of one to ten, give me a ranking for your marriage,\u201d what do you think he would say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 [laughing] He\u2019d probably tell you about an eight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you think in his mind, everything\u2019s going pretty well?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard him say that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can\u2019t help but wonder that as this thing continues to rock along, if you don\u2019t need to get a little bit of a game plan, a clear strategy with your pastor or with an elder or a mature Christian at church, and kind of lay out a game plan for how you\u2019re going to have a wake-up call for your husband, because these are the kind of marriages that \u2013 I think some men can literally rock along for almost a lifetime, be in denial about what they\u2019re missing, sleep, eat, and have their little hobby off to the side, but never have anyone pierce their spiritual darkness to say, \u201cThere\u2019s more here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s a relationship with a person here.\u00a0 There\u2019s a relationship with a little boy here.\u201d\u00a0 He needs help, and he doesn\u2019t know he needs help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And it may take you stepping into his life with some pretty severe pain to get his attention and to ultimately help him become the man, the husband, and the father that God created him to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And really the only way for that cycle to be broken is for there to be intervention in his life.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to have to come through the Spirit of God, probably by someone other than you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because the wife is not typically the one who can carry that message to her husband.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to need a support group of your own that you can be praying with on a regular basis, and that you can draw strength from in the midst of all of this.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to need to have his life intersect with some spiritual men, some godly men, who can say, \u201cListen, this is what a husband is supposed to look like and be like and act like.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 I keep praying for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019re glad you called, and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 . . . keep in touch with us and let us know what the Lord does in your relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 I will.\u00a0 Thank you again for your time and the ministry.\u00a0 I really appreciate it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks, Dawn.\u00a0 Bye bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bye bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, Dennis, a situation like that can feel hopeless for a wife when her husband is not initiating, he\u2019s not responding, he\u2019s just not engaging at all in the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 And you know, in these situations God implores us to be of sound judgment, of sober spirit.\u00a0 We need godly counselors around us in situations when we\u2019re hopeless.\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s what the church is all about.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t intended to be just a place where we went on Sunday, and it\u2019s not always that we go to the pastor.\u00a0 It\u2019s a part of why there are mature believers in that church to be able to step into the lives of people who are hurting and to offer perspective, offer encouragement, offer direction, and be vehicles of grace and a conduit of God\u2019s love to people who would otherwise, like Dawn\u2019s husband.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, without somebody stepping into his life, his life\u2019s probably going to end early.\u00a0 He needs somebody to love him enough, to step into his life, to put their arm around him and say, \u201cYoung man, you\u2019ve got a problem.\u00a0 You can\u2019t live like this.\u00a0 You can\u2019t keep pushing the envelope by punching the time clock, working evenings, sleeping days, no relationship with your son, no relationship with your wife.\u00a0 Something\u2019s got to change here.\u00a0 This is not life, Christian marriage as God intended it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is hope in those situations, but I\u2019ll tell you, Bob.\u00a0 People need tools today to be able to step into the lives of folks like this.\u00a0 And you know, this is where I\u2019m encouraged by what\u2019s happening in our nation.\u00a0 There are all kinds of people who are hitting the wall like Dawn is hitting and like her husband is hitting, and it\u2019s\u00a0 around marriage and family.\u00a0 The gospel has never been more relevant in a marriage and family situation.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because God created marriage.\u00a0 He created the institution of family, and he made it to be a spiritual institution whereby people relate to him and they relate to one another out of a spiritual basis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, over in Matthew chapter seven, Jesus said there were two types of home built, one on the sand, one on a rock.\u00a0 When the storms came, when the winds blew, when the floods hit that home, one fell.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The other stood.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because the house built on the rock was the one that was built upon Jesus Christ and his Word, and heard the Word and acted upon it.\u00a0 They were obedient to it.\u00a0 Ladies like Dawn can be a redemptive force, a powerful force in their marriage and in their family to see a man like this, whose life is built on sand, ultimately find the rock and begin building upon Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and we\u2019re going to be hosting one of our <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>Marriage Getawaysup in the New Jersey area this spring.\u00a0 In fact we kick off the season on Valentine\u2019s weekend.\u00a0 I think we\u2019re in six cities that weekend and then each weekend in different locations.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>Marriage Getawaygoing on there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s a great opportunity for a husband and wife to get away and in that context, your spouse will hear speakers who are engaging, who are authentic, transparent, and who know how to connect with couples to help them build a stronger marriage relationship, and how to present Christianity in that context.\u00a0 So it is an environment where people who aren\u2019t going to church hear clearly the claims of the gospel and get an opportunity to respond to that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mention that because this week and next week we\u2019re giving <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners an opportunity to register for one of these upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>Marriage Getaways<em>.<\/em>\u00a0 When you go online to register at FamilyLifeToday.com or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY to register and you identify yourself as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, when you register yourself at the regular price, your spouse comes free.\u00a0 It\u2019s a buy one, get one free kind of offer that we\u2019re making this week and next week.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re registering online, you need to make sure that you type my name. Type \u201cBOB\u201d in the online key code box that is there on the registration form.\u00a0 Or if you call, just say \u201cI heard them talking about this on the radio and I want to take advantage of the special offer.\u201d\u00a0 When you register at the regular rate, your spouse comes for free.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to encourage you, if you can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>we are listener-supported.\u00a0 We depend on your donations to continue this broadcast on this station and on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 So if you can either go online or call us to make a donation, we would appreciate it.\u00a0 In fact, we\u2019d love to send you a thank you gift.\u00a0 Dennis and Barbara Rainey have written a devotional book for couples called <em>Moments with You.<\/em>\u00a0 It\u2019s a full year devotional guide, a page a day.\u00a0 There\u2019s a passage of Scripture on each page and then a devotional with some questions and an opportunity to pray together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d love to send the complete devotional guide, a hardback book, to you as our way of saying thank you for your support of this ministry when you make a donation this month to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 If you\u2019re donating online at FamilyLifeToday.com, make sure you write the word \u201cYOU\u201d in the key code box on the online donation form.\u00a0 If you call 1-800-FLTODAY to make a donation, just mention that you\u2019d like a copy of the devotional, and we\u2019ll be happy to send it to you.\u00a0 We want to say thanks in advance for your support of the ministry.\u00a0 We really do appreciate your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is going to join us.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about communication in marriage and what we can do to more effectively hear one another and to share what we\u2019re thinking and what we\u2019re feeling with one another.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would\u00a0\u00a0 you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/www.FamilyLife.com\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["21.95M"],"filesize_raw":["23013317"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302195.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302195.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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happens when a believer marries an unbeliever?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-01-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0All across the country in tens of thousands of homes, individuals are expressing a common frustration of being spiritually mismatched.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong>\u00a0 One time I asked him, I said you know, \u201cDo you pray to God?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 2:<\/strong>\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t believe that Jesus is the only way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 3:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t see him seeking answers between himself and God and the Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Man:<\/strong>\u00a0I would love to sit in a pew next to her on Sunday morning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, January 17<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today to some folks who are in spiritually mismatched marriages and try to provide some help and some hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition.\u00a0 Dennis, I was driving into work not long ago listening to one of these call-in talk shows.\u00a0 This was not on a Christian station, and \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You weren\u2019t listening to our broadcast, Bob?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our broadcast was over, so I\u2019d tuned to a different station. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, that\u2019s real good, Bob.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you . . .\u00a0 Anyway, go ahead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 Our broadcast was over.\u00a0 I was listening to a different station.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 You\u2019re safe.\u00a0 You\u2019re safe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I heard a caller calling in, and she was talking about these Christians who try to convert everybody else and tell them that the way they\u2019re living is wrong.\u00a0 She was going on and on about those Christians, and she said, \u201cI mean, I\u2019m a Christian, but I\u2019m not that kind of Christian.\u201d\u00a0 I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s exactly what we\u2019re going to be dealing with on the broadcast today, folks who find themselves married to somebody who says, \u2018I\u2019m a Christian.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But not one of those.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cNot that kind of Christian.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and you may be married to somebody that you\u2019re going, \u201cI think I\u2019m married to a liberal Christian.\u201d\u00a0 You know, somebody who professes Christ but who doesn\u2019t believe the Scripture is God\u2019s Word.\u00a0 So what do you do with that?\u00a0 How do you maintain unity in your marriage, in raising a family, if you can\u2019t agree around the basic tenets of the faith?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A while back we took some phone calls from folks who were in spiritually mismatched marriages.\u00a0 Today we\u2019re going to hear from a couple of folks who call in with that very situation.\u00a0 They\u2019re married to someone who says, \u201cI\u2019m a Christian, but I\u2019m just not as fanatical about it as you are,\u201d or \u201cI don\u2019t hold the same exact convictions.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat can be a source of tension in a marriage relationship.\u00a0 Let\u2019s listen together.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a couple of phone calls here that we took recently from listeners who are in that kind of a situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Hi, Holly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0Hi, Dennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hi, Dennis.\u00a0 Hi, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hey, thanks for calling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What\u2019s going on in your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, when we were first married we both grew up in a liberal mainline denomination and didn\u2019t really have that personal relationship with the Lord.\u00a0 Since that time I have become born again and just totally transformed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How long ago, Holly?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Fifteen years ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 And my husband is kind of still the same way, and even though we go to a Bible-believing church.\u00a0 The Word is preached faithfully, he\u2019s there every Sunday.\u00a0 He\u2019s involved in church.\u00a0 I don\u2019t see the fruit and the desire is not there in him to really read the Word and to be the spiritual leader of our home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He would say he\u2019s a Christian.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, because when he was twelve he made the commitment in this liberal church that he accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior.\u00a0 He believes that Jesus is his Savior \u2013 but there are some very essential things that he doesn\u2019t believe, such as he doesn\u2019t believe that Jesus is the only way.\u00a0 And he doesn\u2019t believe in the infallibility of the Scripture, he\u2019s not sure about heaven, you know, just some real basic things like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Every time I try to talk about anything he gets real defensive and he doesn\u2019t want to talk about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Would people at your church \u2013 would they know about these areas of doctrine with him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 No, I don\u2019t think so.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Everybody there figures he\u2019s just . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 . . . he\u2019s just one of the guys and right along with the crowd\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And Bob, this is a huge problem . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 in most churches.\u00a0 We go to church with one another weekend after weekend after weekend, we say, \u201cHi,\u201d we say, \u201cHow you doing?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cNice sermon.\u00a0 Very good job, Pastor.\u201d\u00a0 And yet no one peels the onion . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 . . . beneath the surface to find out what\u2019s going on in a man\u2019s life or in a woman\u2019s life to say, \u201cHow are you doing spiritually?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And yet that needs to be happening.\u00a0 It needs to be happening for the sake of Holly and their two children, and for the sake of that man.\u00a0 He needs someone to step into his life, to ask him how he\u2019s doing in his relationship with Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think you\u2019re very wise to look at the fruit of your husband\u2019s life and ask yourself, \u201cIs it consistent with what is true about a Christian?\u00a0 Does he hunger and thirst for the Word of God?\u00a0 Is he motivated toward righteous living?\u00a0 Is he a person who seeks to walk with Christ on a daily basis?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cIs his life characterized by his Christian faith?\u201d\u00a0 And if that\u2019s not at the center of his life, then the Bible tells him in 2 Corinthians chapter 13, verse 5 that he needs to examine himself to see if he\u2019s in the faith.\u00a0 That was Paul\u2019s word to the Corinthians.\u00a0 He said, \u201cYou guys need to reconsider whether you\u2019re really a believer if the way you\u2019re living doesn\u2019t bear witness to what you profess to be true.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would encourage you guys to get involved with other couples from church in social settings, maybe in some Bible study settings, where it could naturally kind of leak out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019re in a small group and we\u2019ve been with them for almost two years, and we\u2019re having a couples retreat with our Bible study this weekend, and I\u2019m really praying that maybe some of this might be able to be addressed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What I might encourage you to do \u2013 and I\u2019m not asking you to be deceitful about this \u2013 but maybe go to the strongest man that your husband knows who\u2019s going to be at this retreat, and go to him and just say to him privately \u2013 along with his wife being there, of course \u2013 but say to him, \u201cYou know, I have reason to question whether my husband is really a believer or not.\u00a0 Would you mind seeking him out over the next couple of days to take a walk and just kind of feel him out and where he is in his own personal relationship with God?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s being wise to realize that more than likely God\u2019s going to use your life to lead him to Christ, but he may want to use another man to truly pierce his soul and to truly introduce him to the Savior.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me tell you a story, okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had been involved in outreach ministry for three years in college.\u00a0 I had been working on high school campuses sharing Christ with other kids, and I had a friend of mine at a Bible study who asked me, \u201cCould I meet with you sometime next week?\u201d\u00a0 And I thought, \u201cSure, we can get together.\u201d\u00a0 Candidly I thought, \u201cI wonder what question he wants me to answer for him.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s just how arrogant I was. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got together and he said, \u201cYou know what? I don\u2019t think you get it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I said, \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d\u00a0 And he said, \u201cI don\u2019t think you understand the nature of the Gospel or your own salvation.\u201d\u00a0 And for the next 15 or 20 minutes he hit me between the eyes and frankly, I wasn\u2019t very happy with him.\u00a0 I thought he was kind of arrogant, you know, for bringing all of this up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But the Lord used that in my life to bring me to himself, because he was 100 percent right.\u00a0 I was still resting in my own pride, I was still trusting in my own abilities.\u00a0 I was not yet converted.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The Lord used that situation to bring me to himself.\u00a0 So I would say, let\u2019s look for opportunities for someone to get one-on-one with your husband and say, \u201cYou know, let\u2019s just review this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cAre you sure that what you\u2019re expressing as your religious convictions, are you sure that\u2019s right?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And let God take care of the rest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Holly, thanks for calling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you so much.\u00a0 You\u2019ve really . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Great to talk to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 . . . really helped me a lot.\u00a0 I appreciate you guys.\u00a0 God bless you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis and Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bye bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Holly:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bye bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, Dennis, you can understand where it\u2019s difficult in a situation like Holly\u2019s where a husband has made a profession of faith, he\u2019s going to church, he\u2019s involved, and yet you don\u2019t see spiritual hunger, you don\u2019t see someone who is motivated by the things of Christ, and you scratch your head and you go, \u201cAm I married to a Christian or not?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 And then you become preoccupied with it and if you\u2019re not careful it becomes an obsession.\u00a0 If I\u2019m speaking to a wife right now where she\u2019s had an obsession with this, you\u2019re much better off backing off and taking the route that Holly has, apparently, which is prayer, gaining some others to pray for him, not making this the topic of discussion between you and your spouse unless he or she raises the issue and wants to talk about it.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s very easy in these situations, Bob, for a husband especially to feel like his wife is nagging him.\u00a0 He\u2019ll feel like she\u2019s pressuring him, and that will make it even that much more difficult for him to come to a point of placing his faith in Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And so silence really is the best tactic.\u00a0 Prayer is the key, and asking God to raise up others who can intersect that person\u2019s life and speak to him directly about his spiritual condition.\u00a0 Unfortunately today, the church \u2013 we\u2019re all too satisfied with the shallowness of our interactions on Sunday or in Bible studies, and we need to be stopping one another and saying, \u201cHow are you really doing?\u201d putting our arms around one another.\u00a0 \u201cAre you guys doing okay?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cHow are you doing spiritually?\u00a0 Are you growing?\u201d\u00a0 And maybe then \u2013 don\u2019t accept their first answer.\u00a0 Probe a little deeper.\u00a0 All of us are deeply in need of the Spirit of God, the Word of God, and the person of God to be guiding us as we hammer out life in a marriage and a family today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Would you counsel Holly, would you recommend to her that she suggest the two of them coming to a <em>Weekend to Remember\u00ae <\/em>marriage getaway<em>,<\/em> or is that too aggressive for her to try to do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I might.\u00a0 It really depends on what\u2019s going on.\u00a0 If she hasn\u2019t been quiet for some time and if she\u2019s really been kind of nagging at him, then maybe the best thing is to wait.\u00a0 But if she hasn\u2019t said anything in a long time, maybe just make the recommendation.\u00a0 \u201cWhy don\u2019t we have a romantic getaway?\u00a0 I promise you it will be a weekend to remember.\u201d\u00a0 And just smile at him and make the arrangements, and say, \u201cLet\u2019s go.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the deal, Bob.\u00a0 The <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is designed for this guy, or, for that matter, a wife who may be lukewarm or may be even mildly hostile toward Christianity.\u00a0 We don\u2019t shove it down anybody\u2019s throat.\u00a0 It is unapologetically based on the Bible; we speak clearly.\u00a0 But I\u2019m going to tell you \u2013 the speakers and how we go about it \u2013 all of us come out of the authenticity of our own lives, how we\u2019ve failed, and we use our failures to do the majority of our teaching.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well I ask the question because right now, this week and next week we\u2019re making a special offer to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners.\u00a0 If you want to attend one of our upcoming spring <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>Marriage Getaways<em>, <\/em>when you register this week or next week and identify yourself as a <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listener, you register at the regular rate and your spouse comes free.\u00a0 So it\u2019s a buy one, get one free offer.\u00a0 All you have to do is go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get the information there about locations and dates and when the conference is going to be in what location, and then as you fill out the registration form, there\u2019s a key code box.\u00a0 If you type my name, you type \u201cBOB\u201d in the key code box, we\u2019ll know you\u2019re a listener, you will get the buy one, get one free offer for <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners.\u00a0 You have to register either this week or next week to take advantage of this special offer.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and register over the phone, and just mention that you listen to <em>FamilyLife Today;<\/em> we can answer any questions you have about the getaway, and we can get you registered by phone.\u00a0 But again, this week and next week, if you want to take advantage of this special offer, we need to hear from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we\u2019re talking today about marriages where couples are spiritually mismatched, and we\u2019ve been taking phone calls in recent days.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got Dawn joining us from New Jersey.\u00a0 Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I sure hope we can be of some help to you this afternoon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I hope so, too.\u00a0 I live with the consequences that I married an unsaved man eight years ago.\u00a0 I was convinced before we were married and even the first few years after our marriage that he would become a Christian, and it didn\u2019t happen.\u00a0 I learned I have to trust it to be in God\u2019s time, not in mine.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a three-year-old son, and my husband is like a boarder in our house.\u00a0 He brings home a paycheck and that\u2019s about it.\u00a0 He\u2019s not much of a husband and not much of a father, and he\u2019s not really involved in either one of our lives at all.\u00a0 Spiritually I\u2019m committed to the marriage, but it\u2019s really hard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What does he do when he gets home in the evening, Dawn?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, my husband actually works nights, so he sleeps during the day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you gone during the day?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I\u2019m a stay-at-home mom.\u00a0 I stay home with my son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you do have some time when he\u2019s awake and there at home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, when he\u2019s awake.\u00a0 He sleeps most of the day.\u00a0 He usually sleeps until about an hour before he has to go to work.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you have any kind of interaction time with him, what happens?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Honestly \u2013 sometimes he works weekends too, and we really don\u2019t have any time.\u00a0 I mean, he sleeps like almost all the time.\u00a0 We really don\u2019t do anything.\u00a0 I mean, not only with each other but as a family.\u00a0 When he\u2019s awake he might watch a video with my son, but there\u2019s no interaction.\u00a0 I mean he has no desire to be involved in anything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about going to church with you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 No, he has periodically gone in the past, but it\u2019s been probably at least \u2013 probably almost two years since he\u2019s gone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you a Christian when you married him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you know what you were doing when you married him, or did you think you were marrying a Christian?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I knew what I was doing, but I thought for sure that he was going to become a Christian, and I know that that\u2019s wrong.\u00a0 I mean, now especially, I know that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What would you say to someone who is listening right now, a single person who is dating someone who is not a believer?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say to get out while you can, before you get any more emotionally attached.\u00a0 I never would have imagined that it would be as painful as it is, and that\u2019s kind of one of my prayers, is that if even one person can hear me say not only not to date a nonbeliever, but \u2013 or not to marry, but not to date or become involved with a non-believer because it really brings you down, and you need double spiritual energy to keep plugging along.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dawn, if I were to call your husband at work and say, \u201cTell me about your marriage.\u00a0 On a scale of one to ten, give me a ranking for your marriage,\u201d what do you think he would say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 [laughing] He\u2019d probably tell you about an eight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you think in his mind, everything\u2019s going pretty well?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard him say that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can\u2019t help but wonder that as this thing continues to rock along, if you don\u2019t need to get a little bit of a game plan, a clear strategy with your pastor or with an elder or a mature Christian at church, and kind of lay out a game plan for how you\u2019re going to have a wake-up call for your husband, because these are the kind of marriages that \u2013 I think some men can literally rock along for almost a lifetime, be in denial about what they\u2019re missing, sleep, eat, and have their little hobby off to the side, but never have anyone pierce their spiritual darkness to say, \u201cThere\u2019s more here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThere\u2019s a relationship with a person here.\u00a0 There\u2019s a relationship with a little boy here.\u201d\u00a0 He needs help, and he doesn\u2019t know he needs help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And it may take you stepping into his life with some pretty severe pain to get his attention and to ultimately help him become the man, the husband, and the father that God created him to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And really the only way for that cycle to be broken is for there to be intervention in his life.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to have to come through the Spirit of God, probably by someone other than you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because the wife is not typically the one who can carry that message to her husband.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to need a support group of your own that you can be praying with on a regular basis, and that you can draw strength from in the midst of all of this.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to need to have his life intersect with some spiritual men, some godly men, who can say, \u201cListen, this is what a husband is supposed to look like and be like and act like.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 I keep praying for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019re glad you called, and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 . . . keep in touch with us and let us know what the Lord does in your relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 I will.\u00a0 Thank you again for your time and the ministry.\u00a0 I really appreciate it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks, Dawn.\u00a0 Bye bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dawn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bye bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, Dennis, a situation like that can feel hopeless for a wife when her husband is not initiating, he\u2019s not responding, he\u2019s just not engaging at all in the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 And you know, in these situations God implores us to be of sound judgment, of sober spirit.\u00a0 We need godly counselors around us in situations when we\u2019re hopeless.\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s what the church is all about.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t intended to be just a place where we went on Sunday, and it\u2019s not always that we go to the pastor.\u00a0 It\u2019s a part of why there are mature believers in that church to be able to step into the lives of people who are hurting and to offer perspective, offer encouragement, offer direction, and be vehicles of grace and a conduit of God\u2019s love to people who would otherwise, like Dawn\u2019s husband.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, without somebody stepping into his life, his life\u2019s probably going to end early.\u00a0 He needs somebody to love him enough, to step into his life, to put their arm around him and say, \u201cYoung man, you\u2019ve got a problem.\u00a0 You can\u2019t live like this.\u00a0 You can\u2019t keep pushing the envelope by punching the time clock, working evenings, sleeping days, no relationship with your son, no relationship with your wife.\u00a0 Something\u2019s got to change here.\u00a0 This is not life, Christian marriage as God intended it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is hope in those situations, but I\u2019ll tell you, Bob.\u00a0 People need tools today to be able to step into the lives of folks like this.\u00a0 And you know, this is where I\u2019m encouraged by what\u2019s happening in our nation.\u00a0 There are all kinds of people who are hitting the wall like Dawn is hitting and like her husband is hitting, and it\u2019s\u00a0 around marriage and family.\u00a0 The gospel has never been more relevant in a marriage and family situation.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because God created marriage.\u00a0 He created the institution of family, and he made it to be a spiritual institution whereby people relate to him and they relate to one another out of a spiritual basis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, over in Matthew chapter seven, Jesus said there were two types of home built, one on the sand, one on a rock.\u00a0 When the storms came, when the winds blew, when the floods hit that home, one fell.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The other stood.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because the house built on the rock was the one that was built upon Jesus Christ and his Word, and heard the Word and acted upon it.\u00a0 They were obedient to it.\u00a0 Ladies like Dawn can be a redemptive force, a powerful force in their marriage and in their family to see a man like this, whose life is built on sand, ultimately find the rock and begin building upon Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and we\u2019re going to be hosting one of our <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>Marriage Getawaysup in the New Jersey area this spring.\u00a0 In fact we kick off the season on Valentine\u2019s weekend.\u00a0 I think we\u2019re in six cities that weekend and then each weekend in different locations.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>Marriage Getawaygoing on there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s a great opportunity for a husband and wife to get away and in that context, your spouse will hear speakers who are engaging, who are authentic, transparent, and who know how to connect with couples to help them build a stronger marriage relationship, and how to present Christianity in that context.\u00a0 So it is an environment where people who aren\u2019t going to church hear clearly the claims of the gospel and get an opportunity to respond to that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mention that because this week and next week we\u2019re giving <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners an opportunity to register for one of these upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>Marriage Getaways<em>.<\/em>\u00a0 When you go online to register at FamilyLifeToday.com or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY to register and you identify yourself as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, when you register yourself at the regular price, your spouse comes free.\u00a0 It\u2019s a buy one, get one free kind of offer that we\u2019re making this week and next week.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re registering online, you need to make sure that you type my name. Type \u201cBOB\u201d in the online key code box that is there on the registration form.\u00a0 Or if you call, just say \u201cI heard them talking about this on the radio and I want to take advantage of the special offer.\u201d\u00a0 When you register at the regular rate, your spouse comes for free.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to encourage you, if you can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>we are listener-supported.\u00a0 We depend on your donations to continue this broadcast on this station and on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 So if you can either go online or call us to make a donation, we would appreciate it.\u00a0 In fact, we\u2019d love to send you a thank you gift.\u00a0 Dennis and Barbara Rainey have written a devotional book for couples called <em>Moments with You.<\/em>\u00a0 It\u2019s a full year devotional guide, a page a day.\u00a0 There\u2019s a passage of Scripture on each page and then a devotional with some questions and an opportunity to pray together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d love to send the complete devotional guide, a hardback book, to you as our way of saying thank you for your support of this ministry when you make a donation this month to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 If you\u2019re donating online at FamilyLifeToday.com, make sure you write the word \u201cYOU\u201d in the key code box on the online donation form.\u00a0 If you call 1-800-FLTODAY to make a donation, just mention that you\u2019d like a copy of the devotional, and we\u2019ll be happy to send it to you.\u00a0 We want to say thanks in advance for your support of the ministry.\u00a0 We really do appreciate your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is going to join us.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about communication in marriage and what we can do to more effectively hear one another and to share what we\u2019re thinking and what we\u2019re feeling with one another.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would\u00a0\u00a0 you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2011 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/www.FamilyLife.com\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302195"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302195"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302195"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302195"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}