{"id":302171,"date":"2010-12-06T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-12-06T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/thinking-biblically-about-marriage\/"},"modified":"2010-12-06T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-12-06T17:00:00","slug":"thinking-biblically-about-marriage","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/thinking-biblically-about-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Thinking Biblically About Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you want to marry, what are the options?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-12-06.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"27.22M","filesize_raw":"28539211","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2807],"tags":[4018,4822,4186],"podcast_series":[7773],"cwp_profile":[3228],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302171","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-engagements-and-weddings","tag-dating","tag-engagement","tag-getting-married","podcast_series-marry-well","cwp_profile-steve-and-candice-watters","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302171\/thinking-biblically-about-marriage","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302171\/thinking-biblically-about-marriage","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"f6sMHvyuH3\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/thinking-biblically-about-marriage\/\">Thinking Biblically About Marriage<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/thinking-biblically-about-marriage\/embed\/#?secret=f6sMHvyuH3\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Thinking Biblically About Marriage&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"f6sMHvyuH3\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-12-06.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-12-06.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you single and hoping to someday be married?\u00a0 Steve Watters says you need to be doing more than just hoping.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There is no way in this culture, the way it is structured, that your trajectory is going to get you to a good marriage if you are not intentional.\u00a0 So we would say, \u201cBe intentional about your purity, be intentional about the community you are surrounding yourself with, be intentional about forming a good marriage for God\u2019s glory and you will probably surprise yourself by getting married earlier than your peers might.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, December 6<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey; and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 What does it look like to be intentional about getting married?\u00a0 We are going to talk about that today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You grew up in Ozark, Missouri, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You keep reminding folks of that.\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How many folks...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think you have a St. Louis problem.\u00a0 (laughter)\u00a0 It is a big city.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I just want folks\u2014there is a context for this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is a small town!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How many people?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>1,350.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>1,350 people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>On a good day.\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At your church growing up,...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>One yellow flashing light.\u00a0 (laughter)\u00a0 It is the county seat of Christian County, Missouri.\u00a0 (laughter)\u00a0 What else do you want to know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How many people at the church...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You had to get a prescription to get a Coke (laughter)\u2014it was so conservative.\u00a0 (laughter)\u00a0 How many people went to church?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At the church you went to\u2014How many people in the church?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A couple hundred.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Okay.\u00a0 Here\u2019s my question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Okay.\u00a0 What is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I want you to imagine that you are 24 years old, living in Ozark, Missouri.\u00a0 You are a serious follower of Christ, you love the Lord, you are going to your church, and you are thinking, \u201cBoy, it is about time for me to meet somebody and get married.\u201d\u00a0 What were the options there for you in the county seat of Christian County, Missouri, in Ozark?\u00a0 Among the 1,350 people,...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know what?\u00a0 There were some fine young ladies...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I guarantee you\u2014some great families that had some young ladies who were class acts.\u00a0 I think they are all across the country.\u00a0 It is interesting as you go to college and come out of college, though as a single person, quite honestly that would be\u2014if it was still\u00a0 the same size\u2014it is not today\u2014it is over 20,000 people today.\u00a0 It has grown like a weed because of Branson and Springfield, Missouri.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>For single people, this is one of the big issues\u2014\u201cWhere do I fit in?\u00a0 How do I\u00a0\u00a0 fit in?\u00a0 How can I relate to someone?\u201d\u00a0 That is why so many singles are going to the big cities\u2014Atlanta; Dallas; Washington, D.C.; Southern California\u2014they are going where singles are and where they can meet other single people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>If you are in a small town or a small church, once you have dated the two or three people who are maybe marry-able\u2014if that doesn\u2019t click...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Especially at the age of 24 because, honestly, most of them, by the time they have gone away to college, if they have come back, they come back married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Or they may be delaying\u2014a lot of folks delaying until their late 20\u2019s.\u00a0 I think there are a lot of singles, challenged today, going, \u201cThere is a desire to get married; but I am not sure what to do with it, where to go with it, how to satisfy it.\u00a0 I am frustrated, and I don\u2019t know where to go.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We have a pair of folks in the studio today who have got a passion for single folks and wanting to come alongside them\u2014put their arm around them\u2014and cheer them on as being singles\u2014not condemn them\u2014but coach them, encourage them, and train them to think biblically.\u00a0 I know that sounds scary for some single people; but it really is, not only the right way, but it is the best way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve and Candice Watters join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Candice, Steve, welcome back to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is great to be here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you so much for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Steve and Candice have been married since 1997\u2014so they have the same last name\u2014they are no longer single.\u00a0 They made the leap.\u00a0 They have four children.\u00a0 They worked for <em>Focus on the Family<\/em> for a number of years and are just forming a new ministry called <em>Family Making<\/em>.\u00a0 That is all about helping singles around this choice of marriage, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is right.\u00a0 It is about both the path to marriage as well as the path to starting a family and trying in that time to grow as close to God as possible because that is a spiritually-ripe time in those transitions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Candice, when you were single, who came alongside you, as a young lady, to help you think biblically about being single and making this all-important decision of who you marry?\u00a0 Personally, I think there are two decisions in life that are life-altering:\u00a0 One is, \u201cWhat do you do with Jesus Christ?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Right<strong>.<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Whether He is going to be your Savior, Redeemer, and Master for your life.\u00a0 The other is, \u201cWho are you going to select for a spouse?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think it is either the \u201cGreat Multiplier\u201d or the \u201cGreat Neutralizer.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Dennis is asking who came alongside because obviously you did so well in this assignment.\u00a0 You must have had coaching.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Maybe I need to ask the question of Steve?\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The coaching came pretty late in the game.\u00a0 I got married late\u2014at 27\u2014the average age\u2014but it is delayed.\u00a0 My whole college career and then being single and working in Washington, D.C.\u2014like you mentioned\u2014I had no coaching.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had parents who prayed that I would marry well\u2014that I would marry a godly man.\u00a0 I had a little bit of input from my mom early on when I would say, \u201cOh, isn\u2019t he cute?\u201d\u00a0 She would say, \u201cYou know, he is; but that doesn\u2019t really matter. I want you to marry someone you can minister with and walk alongside in your faith and be a powerful couple for the Kingdom.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was back when I was 13.\u00a0 By the time I hit college, I didn\u2019t have any input other than what my peers were telling me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I am glad you said that because we have a lot of parents listening to this broadcast, too; and they need to understand this assignment is not a one-conversation training of a 13-year-old, or a 15-year-old, or one who is about to go away to college.\u00a0 This really is a repetitive training, over and over again, around the key qualities of what you look for in the opposite sex.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve, how about you, did you have someone coaching you as a single man or is it pretty much the same story as Candice?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Very similar story.\u00a0 We both grew up in Christian homes, went to Christian colleges, and I am sure at some point took some classes that talked about good Christian marriages.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn\u2019t until graduate school that we met an older couple who were very vocal about the importance of marrying for God\u2019s glory.\u00a0 They not only elevated that but also made themselves available, and discipled, and got in people\u2019 s business at times\u2014it seemed like\u2014to encourage people who may have overlooked their potential together.\u00a0 That is what they did with Candice and me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I want you to go back to what you just said.\u00a0 I want you to unpack it a bit because you just used a phrase that some of the singles who are listening, and maybe some of the parents who are thinking about training their children, may not fully understand what your statement was.\u00a0 What does it mean to marry for the glory of God?\u00a0 Unpack that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We obviously live in a culture where people want to end up in good marriages, but we don\u2019t realize just how consumer-focused we tend to be about it\u2014of wanting to focus on our happiness and how we can be more complete with another person instead of realizing God has so much more at stake in what He designed marriage for.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor one thing, it is going to be how marriage shapes us because we have to lay our lives down for each other\u2014how we sacrifice for each other\u2014how we live out these vows and how that shapes us to be more focused on God\u2019s Kingdom.\u00a0 Also, just the idea of compatibility\u2014not just so you can enjoy certain recreational things together\u2014but compatibility where you are more fruitful together than apart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I had a friend of mine who said that when he proposed to his spouse, he used Psalm 34:3, \u201cOh magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is awesome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It was awesome.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cI was not thinking anything like that when I proposed to Mary Ann.\u201d\u00a0 That was maybe 10 on my list\u2014maybe 9.\u00a0 It was way down.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What was No. 1, Bob?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It was something other than magnifying the Lord and exalting His name forever.\u00a0 It really is counter-cultural and can I say, counter-hormonal, to have that as a focus.\u00a0 That does not come naturally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think that is one of the reasons for parents listening to realize they have to talk about this with their young people before the young people get to the hormonal phase with the person they are in love with.\u00a0 These are things you have to start instilling in your kids to say, \u201cYou know, you are going to grow up to be a wife some day, if God blesses you with marriage.\u00a0 You are going to grow up to be a mommy, if He blesses you with children.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do we raise our little girls to be wives and mothers?\u00a0 How do we raise our little boys to be husbands and fathers?\u00a0 You have to lay that foundation before they get to the hormonal stage so they can think clearly about their choices.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I would say for parents to realize that this is one of those areas where their desire to see their children grow up to be great in their profession, use their gifts and talents, and to be people who love the Lord that the whole sex-dating relationship area can either be a catalyst for taking that to new places\u2014giving them a yoke, direction, and purpose or this can be the place where the wheels fall off the bus and where they end up in a ditch because that hormonal drive\u2014these bad relationships that seem attractive on the surface\u2014can steer them in a direction where there is tension with their faith and where they say, \u201cYou know what, if these are intention, I am going to go with what feels good and it is sex.\u201d\u00a0 That is where a lot of good Christians fall off the wagon.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think you guys did a great job answering the question.\u00a0 I think singles, as they think about marriage being for the glory of God, need to recognize marriage is a spiritual institution.\u00a0 It was created by a spiritual Person\u2014God.\u00a0 It was made\u2014male and female in His image.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you think about glorifying God, I think, it is a part of replicating His love between two imperfect people.\u00a0 It is a part of expressing forgiveness because, as you think about what God did when He became flesh, what did He do?\u00a0 He went to a cross to secure our forgiveness.\u00a0 Finally, I think it is about a mission.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is about a spiritual mission and purpose that a young couple, as they begin the journey together\u2014I think back on this\u2014Barbara and I just celebrated our 38th anniversary.\u00a0 As I look back on that, we didn\u2019t have the foggiest idea where we were headed.\u00a0 We were committed to Christ; we were followers of Christ\u2014we were both in full-time Christian work\u2014but in terms of really having a sense of mission beyond wanting to be part of the Great Commission and proclaiming Who Jesus Christ is to the world, we didn\u2019t really know as we started our journey.\u00a0 It became evident later on within the first five years of our marriage that God had imprinted us to want to make a difference in marriages and families long-haul with our lives.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think singles do well to step back and ask themselves a question, \u201cFirst and foremost as a single person, am I honoring God in the way I deal with relationships, with the same sex, opposite sex, in dating, in conversations?\u00a0 Is my life reflecting Who God is to a fallen world?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I had a friend of mine one time make it real simple for me.\u00a0 He was talking about what it means to glorify God in any area of your life.\u00a0 He said, \u201cReally, what it means is that what you are doing brags on God.\u00a0 People should be able to look at your marriage; and they should say, \u201cBoy, that God is something great!\u201d\u00a0 When they see God reflected in you, it should brag on God.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t get married thinking, \u201cThe most important thing about our marriage is that it brags on God\u201d; but that should have been in the forefront of my thinking.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Just to fill a little blank in here, because I think a lot of singles may be listening and saying, \u201cOkay, when I do get married, I am going to glorify God then.\u201d\u00a0 No. No. No. No.\u00a0 (laughter)\u00a0 It starts now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You have to practice now because it is not like you \u201cflip the switch\u201d and move from a \u201cme-oriented single\u201d person to an \u201cothers-oriented married\u201d person.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 In fact, you need to learn how to be others-oriented, a servant, and a sacrificial leader and lover of people now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There is such a need for the older men to come in and come alongside these guys.\u00a0 There is a vacuum of mentoring in these men\u2019s lives.\u00a0 So many of them are a product of divorce\u2014their dads left.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if it is because men are too busy that they don\u2019t think to mentor the younger men, but that is the Titus 2 model\u2014that is the Paul-to-Timothy model.\u00a0 That is what is going to make a big difference in the lives of these young single men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Do you think guys today and ladies today should be looking at 21 and 22 as the time to start getting married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At 21, 22, the majority of singles would tell you, \u201cI hope to get married some day.\u201d\u00a0 It is not until their late 20\u2019s that they feel any sense of urgency about it.\u00a0 I think the thing we would encourage people to realize is that you can\u2019t just assume that by 30 or so, you are just going to land into the good marriage you desire without being intentional.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is no way in this culture, the way it is structured, that your trajectory is going to get you to a good marriage if you are not intentional.\u00a0 So we would say, \u201cBe intentional about your purity, be intentional about the community you are surrounding yourself with, be intentional about forming a good marriage for God\u2019s glory and you will probably surprise yourself by getting married earlier than you thought you might and earlier than your peers might.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And if you live a town of 1,300 people, and there are 150 at your church, and six of them are single, and you just go, \u201cHow am I going to find anybody here?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is exactly why more people are looking to the internet.\u00a0 I think it is a tool that creates new opportunities, creates new connections; but it is a tool.\u00a0 You can\u2019t just assume it has all these built-in morals.\u00a0 You have to bring your character to it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe really appreciated that Josh Harris and Isaac Hydoski, at his church, took the time to draft a pastoral response to online dating with his team.\u00a0 He spelled out these concerns about how online dating can create an individualistic-focus and a consumer-focus.\u00a0 We really do need to find a way to use internet services for the glory of God\u2014to bring our biblical morality to the process and not just expect the services we use, even Christian ones, to already have the biblical framework in place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We have a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com to that response that you talked about that Josh put together so if folks want to see it, they can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and read that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys have tried to help facilitate a way for singles to think more seriously about this intentionality around relationships at the site that you put together called Marry Well, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is right.\u00a0 Our thought was, \u201cWhat if someone, instead of just having to find great principles to apply to existing services, what if you have references?<strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What if everyone on the site has to bring a parent, a pastor, a mentor into the process so you have accountability so you don\u2019t have some of the craziness you have on some of the other services?\u201d\u00a0 It feel s more like the community you would have offline.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is like a job application reference.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 In some ways...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is not a bad idea.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is knowing that anybody you are connecting with\u2014that you can look down and say, \u201cI am going to check in with your references to see just how your profile you had about your spiritual maturity\u2014just to see how well that is lived out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019d like somebody to validate that.\u201d\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Exactly.\u00a0 Also, we found that most of the other services were focused on just making a connection\u2014just create a market place to get people together.\u00a0 We thought, \u201cBoy, there is so much missing on the front-end of that and on the back-end.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the front-end we said, \u201cIt is probably helpful to have a self-assessment,\u201d and, \u201cAre you ready for a biblical marriage?\u201d\u00a0 That is very different from, \u201cAre you ready to date and have companionship?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cAre you ready for the job description for marriage that you get in the Bible?\u201d\u00a0 Encouraging people and say, \u201cIf you are not, do not rush into a community like this.\u00a0 Don\u2019t bring your baggage and your immaturity and drag somebody\u2019s heart around.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the back-end to say, \u201cOnce those connections are formed, that is when the real questions start:\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you do with red flags?\u00a0 What do you do with concerns that you see?\u201d\u00a0 We wanted to be there with coaching and counsel.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo be honest, we still believe that some of the best matches are going to form in the local church\u2014are going to form where people are.\u00a0 God is Sovereign, and He has put people in their lives.\u00a0 We do know there is an audience that is in transition\u2014that is maybe coming off the mission field\u2014that is maybe in transition in education and work\u2014who really would benefit from meeting other people in a community who are serious about their faith, who are serious about their path to marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A single person today is going to have to be intentional to turn his or her back on the world\u2014being conformed t the world\u2014and turn toward a biblical view of life.\u00a0 As we have mentioned several times on this broadcast, a life that reflects God\u2019s character and relationships that also glorify God.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That brag on Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That brag on Him.\u00a0 I have to read this verse again.\u00a0 I am reading it\u2014it seems like, Bob, a lot recently on <em>FamilyLife Today\u2014R<\/em>omans 12:1-2.\u00a0 This is really good because it begins with an urging, an appeal that says, \u201cI appeal to you, therefore, brothers and sisters by the mercies of God to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God which is your spiritual service of worship.\u00a0 Do not be conformed to this world.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo matter how lonely you are; no matter how much you want to escape the problems that plague single people, there is only one thing worse than being lonely and single\u2014that is being lonely and married.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDo not be conformed to this world\u201d\u2014Don\u2019t panic\u2014\u201cbut be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of God,\u201d\u2014the right person, okay?\u00a0 What is the will of God is \u201cwhat is good, acceptable, and perfect.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is the Apostle Paul\u2019s advice for all of us.\u00a0 I am going to tell you something, \u201cFor this generation of single people, with all the mixed messages they get, there is a fresh need of going to Romans 12:1-2 and make sure their lives are on the altar\u2014make sure they have surrendered their lives and have become counter-cultural singles and they don\u2019t care about what people say about them because of their standards and because of the lives they live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think your point is:\u00a0 If you are going marry well, which is what we have been talking about here, you have to be counter-cultural.\u00a0 In fact, you guys put together\u2014you worked with a number of different authors to put together an electronic book that we want to invite folks to download.\u00a0 There is a <em>Guys\u2019 Guide to Marrying Well<\/em> and a <em>Girls\u2019 Guide to Marrying Well.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>If you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, you can click the link and you can download either the guys\u2019 guide or the girls\u2019 guide.\u00a0 It will help you think rightly instead of culturally about how you approach this whole subject.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn addition, we have got copies of the book you wrote, Candice, called <em>Get Married:<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>What Women Can Do to Help It Happen.<\/em>\u00a0 That is available in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know that I have mentioned this, but today\u2019s program, in fact all of the programs you hear on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> are available for free mp3 download.\u00a0 If you want to download these programs and pass them on to somebody else, just go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can download the audio file from today\u2019s program\u2014listen back to it again or listen to it at your convenience\u2014or like I said, pass it on to somebody else.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf folks are interested in the website we have talked about today, MarryWell.org, you can go to our website at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 We have a link there, or just go to MarryWell.org.\u00a0 There you are trying to help singles have the right frame of mind\u2014have the right mindset and meet other folks who share these kinds of convictions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about any of the resources we have talked about or for the link to MaryWell.org.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow quickly, let me make sure that those of you who are regular <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners know about the recent matching gift that has been made available to us here at the end of the year.\u00a0 We are excited about this.\u00a0 More than $2 million has been pledged toward this matching-gift opportunity.\u00a0 Actually, we are continuing to get some matching funds that have been added to that number.\u00a0 Right now, if a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener calls in, or goes online and makes a donation\u2014whether it is $10, $20, $50, or $100\u2014that donation is going to be matched dollar for dollar up to at least $2 million and probably beyond that as this matching gift continues to grow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just have to say this could not have come at a more opportune time for us obviously as we head toward the end of a calendar year\u2014that is a critical time for nonprofit ministries like <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Not only that, in this particular year, we have faced some challenges and we want to head into 2011 in a good place.\u00a0 So we are asking you to be as generous as you can be and make a year-end donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Again, when you do, your donation is going to be matched dollar for dollar.\u00a0 You can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 We just want you to know how much we appreciate your support and your partnership with us here at the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We really do appreciate you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 Steve and Candice Watters are going to be here again.\u00a0 We are going to continue talking about what singles can do to marry and marry well.\u00a0 We will talk about that again tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2010 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["27.22M"],"filesize_raw":["28539211"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302171.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302171.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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you want to marry, what are the options?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-12-06.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you single and hoping to someday be married?\u00a0 Steve Watters says you need to be doing more than just hoping.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There is no way in this culture, the way it is structured, that your trajectory is going to get you to a good marriage if you are not intentional.\u00a0 So we would say, \u201cBe intentional about your purity, be intentional about the community you are surrounding yourself with, be intentional about forming a good marriage for God\u2019s glory and you will probably surprise yourself by getting married earlier than your peers might.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, December 6<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey; and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 What does it look like to be intentional about getting married?\u00a0 We are going to talk about that today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You grew up in Ozark, Missouri, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You keep reminding folks of that.\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How many folks...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think you have a St. Louis problem.\u00a0 (laughter)\u00a0 It is a big city.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I just want folks\u2014there is a context for this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is a small town!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How many people?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>1,350.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>1,350 people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>On a good day.\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At your church growing up,...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>One yellow flashing light.\u00a0 (laughter)\u00a0 It is the county seat of Christian County, Missouri.\u00a0 (laughter)\u00a0 What else do you want to know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How many people at the church...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You had to get a prescription to get a Coke (laughter)\u2014it was so conservative.\u00a0 (laughter)\u00a0 How many people went to church?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At the church you went to\u2014How many people in the church?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A couple hundred.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Okay.\u00a0 Here\u2019s my question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Okay.\u00a0 What is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I want you to imagine that you are 24 years old, living in Ozark, Missouri.\u00a0 You are a serious follower of Christ, you love the Lord, you are going to your church, and you are thinking, \u201cBoy, it is about time for me to meet somebody and get married.\u201d\u00a0 What were the options there for you in the county seat of Christian County, Missouri, in Ozark?\u00a0 Among the 1,350 people,...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know what?\u00a0 There were some fine young ladies...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I guarantee you\u2014some great families that had some young ladies who were class acts.\u00a0 I think they are all across the country.\u00a0 It is interesting as you go to college and come out of college, though as a single person, quite honestly that would be\u2014if it was still\u00a0 the same size\u2014it is not today\u2014it is over 20,000 people today.\u00a0 It has grown like a weed because of Branson and Springfield, Missouri.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>For single people, this is one of the big issues\u2014\u201cWhere do I fit in?\u00a0 How do I\u00a0\u00a0 fit in?\u00a0 How can I relate to someone?\u201d\u00a0 That is why so many singles are going to the big cities\u2014Atlanta; Dallas; Washington, D.C.; Southern California\u2014they are going where singles are and where they can meet other single people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>If you are in a small town or a small church, once you have dated the two or three people who are maybe marry-able\u2014if that doesn\u2019t click...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Especially at the age of 24 because, honestly, most of them, by the time they have gone away to college, if they have come back, they come back married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Or they may be delaying\u2014a lot of folks delaying until their late 20\u2019s.\u00a0 I think there are a lot of singles, challenged today, going, \u201cThere is a desire to get married; but I am not sure what to do with it, where to go with it, how to satisfy it.\u00a0 I am frustrated, and I don\u2019t know where to go.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We have a pair of folks in the studio today who have got a passion for single folks and wanting to come alongside them\u2014put their arm around them\u2014and cheer them on as being singles\u2014not condemn them\u2014but coach them, encourage them, and train them to think biblically.\u00a0 I know that sounds scary for some single people; but it really is, not only the right way, but it is the best way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve and Candice Watters join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Candice, Steve, welcome back to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is great to be here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you so much for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Steve and Candice have been married since 1997\u2014so they have the same last name\u2014they are no longer single.\u00a0 They made the leap.\u00a0 They have four children.\u00a0 They worked for <em>Focus on the Family<\/em> for a number of years and are just forming a new ministry called <em>Family Making<\/em>.\u00a0 That is all about helping singles around this choice of marriage, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is right.\u00a0 It is about both the path to marriage as well as the path to starting a family and trying in that time to grow as close to God as possible because that is a spiritually-ripe time in those transitions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Candice, when you were single, who came alongside you, as a young lady, to help you think biblically about being single and making this all-important decision of who you marry?\u00a0 Personally, I think there are two decisions in life that are life-altering:\u00a0 One is, \u201cWhat do you do with Jesus Christ?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Right<strong>.<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Whether He is going to be your Savior, Redeemer, and Master for your life.\u00a0 The other is, \u201cWho are you going to select for a spouse?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think it is either the \u201cGreat Multiplier\u201d or the \u201cGreat Neutralizer.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Dennis is asking who came alongside because obviously you did so well in this assignment.\u00a0 You must have had coaching.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Maybe I need to ask the question of Steve?\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The coaching came pretty late in the game.\u00a0 I got married late\u2014at 27\u2014the average age\u2014but it is delayed.\u00a0 My whole college career and then being single and working in Washington, D.C.\u2014like you mentioned\u2014I had no coaching.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had parents who prayed that I would marry well\u2014that I would marry a godly man.\u00a0 I had a little bit of input from my mom early on when I would say, \u201cOh, isn\u2019t he cute?\u201d\u00a0 She would say, \u201cYou know, he is; but that doesn\u2019t really matter. I want you to marry someone you can minister with and walk alongside in your faith and be a powerful couple for the Kingdom.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was back when I was 13.\u00a0 By the time I hit college, I didn\u2019t have any input other than what my peers were telling me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I am glad you said that because we have a lot of parents listening to this broadcast, too; and they need to understand this assignment is not a one-conversation training of a 13-year-old, or a 15-year-old, or one who is about to go away to college.\u00a0 This really is a repetitive training, over and over again, around the key qualities of what you look for in the opposite sex.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSteve, how about you, did you have someone coaching you as a single man or is it pretty much the same story as Candice?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Very similar story.\u00a0 We both grew up in Christian homes, went to Christian colleges, and I am sure at some point took some classes that talked about good Christian marriages.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn\u2019t until graduate school that we met an older couple who were very vocal about the importance of marrying for God\u2019s glory.\u00a0 They not only elevated that but also made themselves available, and discipled, and got in people\u2019 s business at times\u2014it seemed like\u2014to encourage people who may have overlooked their potential together.\u00a0 That is what they did with Candice and me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I want you to go back to what you just said.\u00a0 I want you to unpack it a bit because you just used a phrase that some of the singles who are listening, and maybe some of the parents who are thinking about training their children, may not fully understand what your statement was.\u00a0 What does it mean to marry for the glory of God?\u00a0 Unpack that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We obviously live in a culture where people want to end up in good marriages, but we don\u2019t realize just how consumer-focused we tend to be about it\u2014of wanting to focus on our happiness and how we can be more complete with another person instead of realizing God has so much more at stake in what He designed marriage for.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor one thing, it is going to be how marriage shapes us because we have to lay our lives down for each other\u2014how we sacrifice for each other\u2014how we live out these vows and how that shapes us to be more focused on God\u2019s Kingdom.\u00a0 Also, just the idea of compatibility\u2014not just so you can enjoy certain recreational things together\u2014but compatibility where you are more fruitful together than apart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I had a friend of mine who said that when he proposed to his spouse, he used Psalm 34:3, \u201cOh magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is awesome.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It was awesome.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cI was not thinking anything like that when I proposed to Mary Ann.\u201d\u00a0 That was maybe 10 on my list\u2014maybe 9.\u00a0 It was way down.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What was No. 1, Bob?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It was something other than magnifying the Lord and exalting His name forever.\u00a0 It really is counter-cultural and can I say, counter-hormonal, to have that as a focus.\u00a0 That does not come naturally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think that is one of the reasons for parents listening to realize they have to talk about this with their young people before the young people get to the hormonal phase with the person they are in love with.\u00a0 These are things you have to start instilling in your kids to say, \u201cYou know, you are going to grow up to be a wife some day, if God blesses you with marriage.\u00a0 You are going to grow up to be a mommy, if He blesses you with children.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do we raise our little girls to be wives and mothers?\u00a0 How do we raise our little boys to be husbands and fathers?\u00a0 You have to lay that foundation before they get to the hormonal stage so they can think clearly about their choices.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I would say for parents to realize that this is one of those areas where their desire to see their children grow up to be great in their profession, use their gifts and talents, and to be people who love the Lord that the whole sex-dating relationship area can either be a catalyst for taking that to new places\u2014giving them a yoke, direction, and purpose or this can be the place where the wheels fall off the bus and where they end up in a ditch because that hormonal drive\u2014these bad relationships that seem attractive on the surface\u2014can steer them in a direction where there is tension with their faith and where they say, \u201cYou know what, if these are intention, I am going to go with what feels good and it is sex.\u201d\u00a0 That is where a lot of good Christians fall off the wagon.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think you guys did a great job answering the question.\u00a0 I think singles, as they think about marriage being for the glory of God, need to recognize marriage is a spiritual institution.\u00a0 It was created by a spiritual Person\u2014God.\u00a0 It was made\u2014male and female in His image.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you think about glorifying God, I think, it is a part of replicating His love between two imperfect people.\u00a0 It is a part of expressing forgiveness because, as you think about what God did when He became flesh, what did He do?\u00a0 He went to a cross to secure our forgiveness.\u00a0 Finally, I think it is about a mission.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is about a spiritual mission and purpose that a young couple, as they begin the journey together\u2014I think back on this\u2014Barbara and I just celebrated our 38th anniversary.\u00a0 As I look back on that, we didn\u2019t have the foggiest idea where we were headed.\u00a0 We were committed to Christ; we were followers of Christ\u2014we were both in full-time Christian work\u2014but in terms of really having a sense of mission beyond wanting to be part of the Great Commission and proclaiming Who Jesus Christ is to the world, we didn\u2019t really know as we started our journey.\u00a0 It became evident later on within the first five years of our marriage that God had imprinted us to want to make a difference in marriages and families long-haul with our lives.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think singles do well to step back and ask themselves a question, \u201cFirst and foremost as a single person, am I honoring God in the way I deal with relationships, with the same sex, opposite sex, in dating, in conversations?\u00a0 Is my life reflecting Who God is to a fallen world?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I had a friend of mine one time make it real simple for me.\u00a0 He was talking about what it means to glorify God in any area of your life.\u00a0 He said, \u201cReally, what it means is that what you are doing brags on God.\u00a0 People should be able to look at your marriage; and they should say, \u201cBoy, that God is something great!\u201d\u00a0 When they see God reflected in you, it should brag on God.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t get married thinking, \u201cThe most important thing about our marriage is that it brags on God\u201d; but that should have been in the forefront of my thinking.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Just to fill a little blank in here, because I think a lot of singles may be listening and saying, \u201cOkay, when I do get married, I am going to glorify God then.\u201d\u00a0 No. No. No. No.\u00a0 (laughter)\u00a0 It starts now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You have to practice now because it is not like you \u201cflip the switch\u201d and move from a \u201cme-oriented single\u201d person to an \u201cothers-oriented married\u201d person.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 In fact, you need to learn how to be others-oriented, a servant, and a sacrificial leader and lover of people now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Candice:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There is such a need for the older men to come in and come alongside these guys.\u00a0 There is a vacuum of mentoring in these men\u2019s lives.\u00a0 So many of them are a product of divorce\u2014their dads left.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if it is because men are too busy that they don\u2019t think to mentor the younger men, but that is the Titus 2 model\u2014that is the Paul-to-Timothy model.\u00a0 That is what is going to make a big difference in the lives of these young single men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Do you think guys today and ladies today should be looking at 21 and 22 as the time to start getting married?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At 21, 22, the majority of singles would tell you, \u201cI hope to get married some day.\u201d\u00a0 It is not until their late 20\u2019s that they feel any sense of urgency about it.\u00a0 I think the thing we would encourage people to realize is that you can\u2019t just assume that by 30 or so, you are just going to land into the good marriage you desire without being intentional.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is no way in this culture, the way it is structured, that your trajectory is going to get you to a good marriage if you are not intentional.\u00a0 So we would say, \u201cBe intentional about your purity, be intentional about the community you are surrounding yourself with, be intentional about forming a good marriage for God\u2019s glory and you will probably surprise yourself by getting married earlier than you thought you might and earlier than your peers might.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And if you live a town of 1,300 people, and there are 150 at your church, and six of them are single, and you just go, \u201cHow am I going to find anybody here?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is exactly why more people are looking to the internet.\u00a0 I think it is a tool that creates new opportunities, creates new connections; but it is a tool.\u00a0 You can\u2019t just assume it has all these built-in morals.\u00a0 You have to bring your character to it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe really appreciated that Josh Harris and Isaac Hydoski, at his church, took the time to draft a pastoral response to online dating with his team.\u00a0 He spelled out these concerns about how online dating can create an individualistic-focus and a consumer-focus.\u00a0 We really do need to find a way to use internet services for the glory of God\u2014to bring our biblical morality to the process and not just expect the services we use, even Christian ones, to already have the biblical framework in place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We have a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com to that response that you talked about that Josh put together so if folks want to see it, they can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and read that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys have tried to help facilitate a way for singles to think more seriously about this intentionality around relationships at the site that you put together called Marry Well, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is right.\u00a0 Our thought was, \u201cWhat if someone, instead of just having to find great principles to apply to existing services, what if you have references?<strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What if everyone on the site has to bring a parent, a pastor, a mentor into the process so you have accountability so you don\u2019t have some of the craziness you have on some of the other services?\u201d\u00a0 It feel s more like the community you would have offline.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is like a job application reference.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 In some ways...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is not a bad idea.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is knowing that anybody you are connecting with\u2014that you can look down and say, \u201cI am going to check in with your references to see just how your profile you had about your spiritual maturity\u2014just to see how well that is lived out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u201cI\u2019d like somebody to validate that.\u201d\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Exactly.\u00a0 Also, we found that most of the other services were focused on just making a connection\u2014just create a market place to get people together.\u00a0 We thought, \u201cBoy, there is so much missing on the front-end of that and on the back-end.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the front-end we said, \u201cIt is probably helpful to have a self-assessment,\u201d and, \u201cAre you ready for a biblical marriage?\u201d\u00a0 That is very different from, \u201cAre you ready to date and have companionship?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cAre you ready for the job description for marriage that you get in the Bible?\u201d\u00a0 Encouraging people and say, \u201cIf you are not, do not rush into a community like this.\u00a0 Don\u2019t bring your baggage and your immaturity and drag somebody\u2019s heart around.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the back-end to say, \u201cOnce those connections are formed, that is when the real questions start:\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you do with red flags?\u00a0 What do you do with concerns that you see?\u201d\u00a0 We wanted to be there with coaching and counsel.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo be honest, we still believe that some of the best matches are going to form in the local church\u2014are going to form where people are.\u00a0 God is Sovereign, and He has put people in their lives.\u00a0 We do know there is an audience that is in transition\u2014that is maybe coming off the mission field\u2014that is maybe in transition in education and work\u2014who really would benefit from meeting other people in a community who are serious about their faith, who are serious about their path to marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A single person today is going to have to be intentional to turn his or her back on the world\u2014being conformed t the world\u2014and turn toward a biblical view of life.\u00a0 As we have mentioned several times on this broadcast, a life that reflects God\u2019s character and relationships that also glorify God.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That brag on Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That brag on Him.\u00a0 I have to read this verse again.\u00a0 I am reading it\u2014it seems like, Bob, a lot recently on <em>FamilyLife Today\u2014R<\/em>omans 12:1-2.\u00a0 This is really good because it begins with an urging, an appeal that says, \u201cI appeal to you, therefore, brothers and sisters by the mercies of God to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God which is your spiritual service of worship.\u00a0 Do not be conformed to this world.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo matter how lonely you are; no matter how much you want to escape the problems that plague single people, there is only one thing worse than being lonely and single\u2014that is being lonely and married.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDo not be conformed to this world\u201d\u2014Don\u2019t panic\u2014\u201cbut be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing you may discern what is the will of God,\u201d\u2014the right person, okay?\u00a0 What is the will of God is \u201cwhat is good, acceptable, and perfect.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is the Apostle Paul\u2019s advice for all of us.\u00a0 I am going to tell you something, \u201cFor this generation of single people, with all the mixed messages they get, there is a fresh need of going to Romans 12:1-2 and make sure their lives are on the altar\u2014make sure they have surrendered their lives and have become counter-cultural singles and they don\u2019t care about what people say about them because of their standards and because of the lives they live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think your point is:\u00a0 If you are going marry well, which is what we have been talking about here, you have to be counter-cultural.\u00a0 In fact, you guys put together\u2014you worked with a number of different authors to put together an electronic book that we want to invite folks to download.\u00a0 There is a <em>Guys\u2019 Guide to Marrying Well<\/em> and a <em>Girls\u2019 Guide to Marrying Well.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>If you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, you can click the link and you can download either the guys\u2019 guide or the girls\u2019 guide.\u00a0 It will help you think rightly instead of culturally about how you approach this whole subject.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn addition, we have got copies of the book you wrote, Candice, called <em>Get Married:<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>What Women Can Do to Help It Happen.<\/em>\u00a0 That is available in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know that I have mentioned this, but today\u2019s program, in fact all of the programs you hear on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> are available for free mp3 download.\u00a0 If you want to download these programs and pass them on to somebody else, just go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can download the audio file from today\u2019s program\u2014listen back to it again or listen to it at your convenience\u2014or like I said, pass it on to somebody else.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf folks are interested in the website we have talked about today, MarryWell.org, you can go to our website at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 We have a link there, or just go to MarryWell.org.\u00a0 There you are trying to help singles have the right frame of mind\u2014have the right mindset and meet other folks who share these kinds of convictions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about any of the resources we have talked about or for the link to MaryWell.org.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow quickly, let me make sure that those of you who are regular <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners know about the recent matching gift that has been made available to us here at the end of the year.\u00a0 We are excited about this.\u00a0 More than $2 million has been pledged toward this matching-gift opportunity.\u00a0 Actually, we are continuing to get some matching funds that have been added to that number.\u00a0 Right now, if a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener calls in, or goes online and makes a donation\u2014whether it is $10, $20, $50, or $100\u2014that donation is going to be matched dollar for dollar up to at least $2 million and probably beyond that as this matching gift continues to grow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just have to say this could not have come at a more opportune time for us obviously as we head toward the end of a calendar year\u2014that is a critical time for nonprofit ministries like <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Not only that, in this particular year, we have faced some challenges and we want to head into 2011 in a good place.\u00a0 So we are asking you to be as generous as you can be and make a year-end donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Again, when you do, your donation is going to be matched dollar for dollar.\u00a0 You can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 We just want you to know how much we appreciate your support and your partnership with us here at the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We really do appreciate you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you can be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 Steve and Candice Watters are going to be here again.\u00a0 We are going to continue talking about what singles can do to marry and marry well.\u00a0 We will talk about that again tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2010 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302171","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302171"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302171"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302171"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302171"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302171"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302171"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302171"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}