{"id":302169,"date":"2010-12-02T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-12-02T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/fear-for-our-childs-well-being\/"},"modified":"2010-12-02T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-12-02T17:00:00","slug":"fear-for-our-childs-well-being","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/fear-for-our-childs-well-being\/","title":{"rendered":"Fear for Our Child\u2019s Well-Being"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do parents ever stop worrying about their children?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-12-02.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.5M","filesize_raw":"25694437","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838],"tags":[4798,2209],"podcast_series":[7772],"cwp_profile":[3332],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302169","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","tag-kids","tag-parenting","podcast_series-moving-from-fear-to-freedom","cwp_profile-grace-fox","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302169\/fear-for-our-childs-well-being","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302169\/fear-for-our-childs-well-being","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"rZbbWPfrsf\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/fear-for-our-childs-well-being\/\">Fear for Our Child\u2019s Well-Being<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/fear-for-our-childs-well-being\/embed\/#?secret=rZbbWPfrsf\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Fear for Our Child\u2019s Well-Being&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"rZbbWPfrsf\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Do parents ever stop worrying about their children?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-12-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mom 1:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The doctor said everything is fine, but I keep thinking that something is going to go wrong with my pregnancy or my delivery or that something is going to be wrong with the baby when he gets here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mom 2:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know, I want to be a good mom, but what if I drop my newborn?\u00a0 Every time I put her down for a nap, I think, \u201cI need to stay in here while she sleeps.\u201d\u00a0 Or I find myself listening to the nursery monitor to see if I can hear her breathing.\u00a0 I feel like I\u2019m going crazy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Have you ever found yourself as a parent anxious about your children, about their safety, about what\u2019s going on in their lives?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mom 3:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I usually don\u2019t even let them play next door, because I\u2019m worried that they\u2019re going to pig out on junk food.\u00a0 In fact, I didn\u2019t let my kids go to a friend\u2019s birthday party because I knew that it would be one giant sugar fest.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mom 4:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, sleepovers are absolutely out of the question.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mom 5:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sleepover?\u00a0 Try sending your teenager on a mission\u2019s trip for a week.\u00a0 I thought I\u2019d have a heart attack.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Child:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bye, Mom.\u00a0 I\u2019m going over to Betsy\u2019s. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mom 6:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 I know she\u2019s been driving for a year and she hasn\u2019t had any problems, but I still worry every time she leaves the house to go somewhere that something bad is going to happen.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mom 7:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, Melissa\u2019s friends <em>seem<\/em> like they\u2019re good kids, but what if they\u2019re really not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mom 8:<\/strong>\u00a0 I feel like I\u2019m a bad mother.\u00a0 I just know my kids are going to resent me because I have to work and I can\u2019t be home with them all day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mom 9:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well now that he\u2019s gone, you know, I just . . . I worry about him.\u00a0 So I make him call me every day from college just to let me know he\u2019s okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The right kind of praying for your children can help alleviate some of those fears.\u00a0 At least that\u2019s what Grace Fox learned as she met with a group of moms regularly to pray for her kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 That changed my life.\u00a0 I think part of that was the method of praying is praying God\u2019s Word, but we always begin that time with praise.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t sit there and discuss our concerns and requests for twenty-five minutes and then say, \u201cOh my goodness.\u00a0 We have only five minutes left; we\u2019ve got to quickly pray.\u201d\u00a0 But we got together for an hour a week and we prayed during that hour, and we always began with praise.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo it was taking Scripture and turning it into praise and turning it back to God because that, I found, guarded our thoughts where they needed to be rather than on all of our concerns for all of our kids collectively as a group of moms there.\u00a0 It was huge; the list of prayer requests was huge.\u00a0 But it was saying, \u201cYou know what, we\u2019re concerned but we know that God is bigger.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, December 2<sup>nd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Grace Fox joins us today to help us understand how we move from fear to freedom as parents.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 When you think about the issue of fear, on a scale of one to ten, and maybe that\u2019s not a fair number to give it, but just in terms of the impact that has in most families, do you think fear is a big issue?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do.\u00a0 I think we bring it into a marriage and our family as we get married.\u00a0 I think we as creatures are horribly fearful people.\u00a0 There\u2019s a reason why there are 365 \u201cfear not\u2019s\u201d in the Bible, one for every day.\u00a0 I think God recognized that \u2013 well, there was a little phrase that people used to use when I was a kid growing up \u2013 \u201cYou\u2019re a scaredy cat.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u201cFraidy cat.\u201d\u00a0 Yes, I remember.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Scaredy cat or fraidy cat.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s because it\u2019s a part of our DNA.\u00a0 There are all kinds of passages in the Bible.\u00a0 Joshua was going to go into the land and God spoke to him and told him \u201cFear not\u201d three times.\u00a0 \u201cBe courageous; fear not, for I am with you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a guest with us who has done a little research on this subject, both biblically and sociologically.\u00a0 I want to get to that in a minute.\u00a0 Grace Fox joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Grace, as a Canadian, welcome to America, to our international broadcast.\u00a0 We\u2019re heard across the border, and we\u2019re glad you\u2019re here, aye?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Aye.\u00a0 Thank you so much, I appreciate that.\u00a0 You\u2019re making me feel right at home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She and her husband, Gene, have been married since 1982, they have three children, and they serve as the National Co-Directors of International Messengers Canada, which is a missionary sending unit taking people on short-term trips to Eastern Europe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 Actually it started in the United States.\u00a0 It\u2019s about 30 years old there, so we have several hundred volunteers that join us every summer on short-term mission trips in Eastern Europe.\u00a0 We launched the Canadian branch three years ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Great.\u00a0 She\u2019s written a book called <em>Moving From Fear to Freedom<\/em> and I mentioned that you did some research.\u00a0 You actually did a study about fear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 At women\u2019s retreats and conferences where I spoke.\u00a0 I invited women to just share their thoughts with me on fear issues because I know what I struggled with and I wondered if I was unique to that or if other women related.\u00a0 So about 350 women responded, ages 19 to 80, and I was amazed at some of the answers they gave me on their sheets.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amazed because . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amazed because it showed me how deep fear really ran.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So back to Bob\u2019s question, you would agree that we as human beings are scairdy cats?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 I think that sometimes we don\u2019t even recognize it for what it is.\u00a0 When I speak at women\u2019s retreats sometimes I have women who come to me when it is done and they will say, \u201cWhen I heard what the theme of this retreat was going to be I thought that it didn\u2019t apply to me, so I almost didn\u2019t come, but I did just because I could spend the weekend with my friends.\u00a0 But, oh my goodness, now I realize why I\u2019ve been stuck as I\u2019ve been because I didn\u2019t realize that the root of some of my attitudes and behaviors was based in fear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what were some of the fears women expressed?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 There were fears like the fear for my child\u2019s well-being.\u00a0 Actually there were categories, so I\u2019ll get to the categories in a minute, but some of the specific fears were like this:\u00a0 \u201cI had an affair and nobody else knows, nobody, not even my best friend and certainly not my husband, and I\u2019m deathly afraid he\u2019s going to find out, or that anybody will find out, and then what\u2019s going to happen?\u00a0 What will they think of me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne woman said, \u201cFor a little while we lived in an apartment building and I was always afraid that my baby would fall off our 12<sup>th<\/sup> floor balcony.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother lady said, \u201cMy mother died when I was just a girl, and I\u2019ve always been afraid that I\u2019m not going to be able to raise my kids well without her advice there for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe list just went on and on.\u00a0 Military moms \u2013 \u201cI\u2019m afraid for my kids\u2019 safety on the field.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 And some of the others you list are fear about the future, fear of getting old . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Fear of losing material possessions, and of really being loved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Those are how they fell into categories.\u00a0 Literally I took those sheets home, put them into file folders and when I figured that I had all the answers I was going to get I just started laying them out on the living room floor, and they fell into piles.\u00a0 So, you know, categories, like the fear for our kids\u2019 well-being, the fear of the unknown future, the fear of the storms of life, the fear of growing old and all of those related issues, the fear of rejection, the fear of inadequacy.\u00a0 That\u2019s how their answers fell into place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you stacked those out on the living room floor, were there some stacks that were much taller than others?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 The number one fear with this demographic was the fear for our children\u2019s well-being, and it was twice what the next fear was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 That one surprised me.\u00a0 I had no idea that that was . . .\u00a0 But one woman even said, \u201cI\u2019m not even a mother yet and I\u2019m afraid for my kids\u2019 well-being.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what are they expressing in that?\u00a0 Is that financial, spiritual?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Health?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think health is a biggie with moms and kids, and safety is another one \u2013 kids getting involved with drugs, making wrong decisions, getting involved with the wrong crowd.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, just last night we were out at an event together, Mary Ann and me, and our boys were there, too.\u00a0 Our youngest son is 16 and he was with his 22-year-old brother, and they were in a different car.\u00a0 They were coming after us, later than us coming home.\u00a0 We got home and Mary Ann said, \u201cI\u2019m going to go up to bed, but wake me when the boys get home,\u201d and I said, \u201cWhy?\u201d and she said, \u201cJust so I know they\u2019re home.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking, \u201cThey\u2019re 16 and 22.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cWhat do you think might happen?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cThey could drive off the road, they could be in an accident.\u201d\u00a0 She just started listing all of these things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 The problem is moms like Mary Ann, near the end of the child-rearing years have seen too much of life and we know what the possibilities are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to be na\u00efve.\u00a0 I know those things can happen, but I didn\u2019t get home last night and think, \u201cI\u2019m real worried about the boys getting home.\u201d\u00a0 Do you think women wrestle more with this protection of children issue than men?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 It\u2019s the whole nurturing thing that we\u2019re born with.\u00a0 I call it the \u201cumbilical effect.\u201d\u00a0 Call it that if you want, but when I look at how my husband and I were different with our children, my husband would be wrestling on the floor with the kids or throwing them in the air.\u00a0 I watch how he plays with our grandbabies now, and they\u2019re laughing as he kind of flips them through the air, and they\u2019re going, \u201cThis is fun!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m just kind of holding my breath and waiting for one of them to crack their head.\u00a0 I look at it a whole different way.\u00a0 Moms just are more prone to scoop those children up and hold them close and keep them safe, and the dads are playing and saying, \u201cYea, it\u2019s okay, it\u2019s okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you have a mom who is a nurturer.\u00a0 She wants to care for her kids and yet she is concerned about their well-being, both in the near term and the long term.\u00a0 What\u2019s the antidote?\u00a0 How do you coach her to handle her fears?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think one of the biggest things that impacted me as the mom of three young kids \u2013 well, two things actually \u2013 one was learning to pray Scripture, because it\u2019s so easy for us as moms or dads or whoever to pray for our kids and just say, \u201cGod bless them.\u00a0 Keep them safe today, please\u201d and send them off like that.\u00a0 But there\u2019s so much more we could be praying into their character or praying that God would give them wisdom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the prayers that I\u2019ve prayed for my kids for years as they were growing up is that God would put within their hearts the fear of the Lord, because that\u2019s the beginning of wisdom.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking that if they could grow up with that fear of the Lord in their hearts and in their heads, then a lot of these things that I could worry about or fear as a mom would be sidestepped.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the most important resources I think FamilyLife has ever created in our history was a little book a number of years ago that is called, <em>While They Were Sleeping<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s a book about how to pray for your children by character topics.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Specific character qualities.\u00a0 There are a dozen of them and it\u2019s a week-long prayer guide so one week you\u2019re praying for your children to have integrity and honesty and the next week you\u2019re praying for them to have another character quality.\u00a0 A lot of parents have trusted that and they get to the end of the book and they just start praying over at the beginning again and just keep praying these things for the lives of their children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know you\u2019re praying according to God\u2019s will when you\u2019re praying his Word within the context that it\u2019s written.\u00a0 If we\u2019re praying that our children will grow wise and that they will seek after wisdom as for hidden treasure, like it says in Proverbs 2, then we know we are praying what God wants for our kids, right?\u00a0 And so we can pray in confidence believing that he\u2019s on our side with that.\u00a0 And that doesn\u2019t mean that bad things aren\u2019t going to happen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe live in a world where bad things happen, and yet again we go back to God\u2019s Word and we pray that he will be able to take even those bad things and bring beauty from ashes and turn those things into something good.\u00a0 It\u2019s so important to be able to know God\u2019s Word and apply it in that context of raising your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Grace, Mary Ann and I have laughed about this.\u00a0 If she\u2019s fifteen minutes late somewhere I\u2019m thinking \u201cShe must be running late.\u201d\u00a0 If I\u2019m fifteen minutes late somewhere, she\u2019s thinking \u201cHe must have been in a wreck.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is something in this nurturing heart of a women, this need for safety, security, nurture and protection, that can be \u2013 and I don\u2019t want to sound harsh, here \u2013 but it can be idolatrous or sinful.\u00a0 A woman can be paralyzed by an irrational fear, can\u2019t she?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and it can definitely lead to, I think, disobedience.\u00a0 You know, I almost hate to say that, but it\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 In what way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking \u2013 I\u2019ve talked to some women who have heard \u2013 my kids have all been on short-term missions trips.\u00a0 My son left right after high school; he went out with Operation Mobilization for three years aboard the Logos II and traveled the world, doing ministry that way.\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard other women say, \u201cYou let your kids do that?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cYeah.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cIt hurt.\u00a0 It was hard, I was worried for them, but I had to give them up because they\u2019re only mine for loan.\u00a0 They\u2019re not mine for keeps.\u00a0 I need to encourage them to pursue the purpose that God has for their lives.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut a woman who is just engulfed with a fear for the child\u2019s well-being is not going to want to let that child go, and so you might have a mom like some of these women I\u2019ve talked to who will say, \u201cI could never let my kid do that.\u00a0 That would just kill me to let them go.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking \u201cBut you don\u2019t want to be depriving them of the joy of walking in what God has called them to do.\u00a0 You just don\u2019t want to do that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob had a daughter who went to Vietnam, and I watched Bob process it.\u00a0 He was kind of swallowing about that young lady.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s twenty-two years and going to be halfway around the world, and we\u2019re going to miss her and there\u2019s a little bit of uncertainty about what life in Vietnam is going to be like and where is she going to go to church and those kind of things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I listened to Bob process all of that, and then my daughter, our youngest daughter, went to China to an orphanage and lived in a room where there were no screens and there were mosquitoes and fleas and the conditions were not five-star hotel conditions, let\u2019s say, and I worried about her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I think both Mary Ann and Barbara probably absorbed those periods of time different than how Bob and I did as men.\u00a0 I do think women \u2013 my mom was like this.\u00a0 She was a worrier, and I used to say to her, \u201cMom, I\u2019m an adult.\u00a0 I\u2019m a man.\u00a0 Don\u2019t worry.\u201d\u00a0 But it was like telling her not to care.\u00a0 She cared, and I think within a woman and within her bent is a desire to want to make sure her little chicks get all the way to maturity and keep on going being safe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So the question is, when does normal godly care for a child and for their safety cross the line and become unhealthy, sinful, preoccupation or fear?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think that\u2019s when a mom starts hindering her kids from becoming what God has created them to be, when a Mom cannot really encourage them to pursue what he wants them to be doing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know a young woman who has really wanted to go with us to Romania and do some work among young adults who have HIV\/AIDs.\u00a0 Oh, she wanted to go.\u00a0 I\u2019ve met with her for coffee to discuss it, and I know that\u2019s her heart.\u00a0 Her parents \u2013 and she\u2019s in University, a junior in University now \u2013 but her parents have just told her flat out, \u201cUnder no condition are you going.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m just broken for her, because I see this is a young woman who sounds like she has God\u2019s handprint all over her life for missions, but her parents are saying, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 For whatever reason, if it\u2019s their fear for their daughter\u2019s well-being, then somebody\u2019s going to lose out in the end.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what\u2019s the antidote here, for a mom who really cares about her kids, their safety, their protection?\u00a0 She doesn\u2019t want to be unhealthy in that, but she wakes up on a morning and she finds herself worried about her kids, and are they safe today, and what\u2019s going on?\u00a0 How does she deal with that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s say she\u2019s praying.\u00a0 She\u2019s already done what you\u2019ve said; she\u2019s taking that child to God in prayer daily, and yet she still can\u2019t get peace, peace and confidence as she moves forward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 A couple of other things \u2013 I would say get together with some other moms to pray for their kids.\u00a0 That changed my life.\u00a0 I got involved with the Moms in Touch group when we lived in the states for several years, and that changed my life.\u00a0 I think part of that was the method of praying is praying God\u2019s Word, but we always began that time with praise.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t sit there and discuss our concerns and requests for twenty-five minutes and then say, \u201cOh my goodness.\u00a0 We only have five minutes left; we\u2019ve got to quickly pray.\u201d\u00a0 But we got together for an hour a week and we prayed during that hour, and we always began with praise.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo it was taking Scripture and turning it into praise and turning it back to God because that, I found, guarded our thoughts where they needed to be rather than on all of our concerns for all of our kids collectively as a group of moms there.\u00a0 And it was huge; the list of prayer requests was huge.\u00a0 But it was saying, \u201cYou know what, we\u2019re concerned but we know God is bigger.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, little by little, over time, over years of meeting on a weekly basis, our thoughts were changed, and so our focus was changed, rather from these huge concerns for our kids to who God is and how big he is.\u00a0 I really think the secret is in knowing God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I really agree, and I think that\u2019s one of the problems in our lives.\u00a0 We don\u2019t believe the truth about God and we need to read good books as well as the Bible, obviously, but good books about the character of God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think of Randy Alcorn\u2019s new book <em>If God is Good. . .<\/em> , just reminding us of the goodness of God.\u00a0 I think of A.W. Tozer\u2019s book, <em>Knowledge of the Holy<\/em>, just a great reminder of who God is and that he\u2019s God and we are not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, there is one side of fear that we haven\u2019t talked about here that I want you to just touch on briefly, and that\u2019s when a child seems to be fearful.\u00a0 I remember back when September 11, 2001 occurred and America had been attacked.\u00a0 Children absorbed that fear in various ways in families.\u00a0 I was on talk shows talking about how to help your children process that fear.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChildren experience fear and they need adults to guide them in knowing how to process it.\u00a0 Coach a mom and a dad, or for that matter, grandparents in how to help a child do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 One thing not to do would be to say to a child, \u201cOh that\u2019s silly.\u00a0 You shouldn\u2019t feel that way,\u201d because the truth is they do feel that way and we need to acknowledge that.\u00a0 But to be able to say, \u201cI\u2019m hearing what you\u2019re saying. Let\u2019s talk about that some more,\u201d and then try to encourage them to engage in conversation more to try to understand what the root of it is.\u00a0 But then to, I would say, pray with them, to just sit down with them, put your arm around them, spend time with them and never, ever brush off those feelings that they\u2019re having.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When our kids were little we had music cassettes or CDs that were Scripture put to song, and one of them \u2013 and I don\u2019t remember what the verse in Psalms is, but it\u2019s the verse that says, \u201cWhen I am afraid . . . \u201c\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201c. . . I will trust in You.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Child with Music<\/strong>:\u00a0 From Psalm 56 verses 3 and 4:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>When I am afraid I will trust in You<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>I will trust in You<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>I will trust in You.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>When I am afraid I will trust in You, <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>In God whose Word I praise . . .<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We used to sing that at our house all the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Child with Music:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>When I am afraid I will trust in You (<\/em>Bob joins in)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>I will trust in You, I will trust in You.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve been there, haven\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 I sang it to my granddaughter about two weeks ago.\u00a0 We had the same tape.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We kind of laugh about that, but those catchy little tunes can catch in the soul of a child. . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 . . . and can really help them know how to direct their fears into prayer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grace:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 In your book \u2013 in fact, I\u2019m going to ask you for permission to put this on our website \u2013 but you have four things here about \u201cHow can I help my child to deal with fear?\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019d like to list these on our website, but I\u2019ll just give them to our listeners real quick.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRemind them of God\u2019s faithfulness to them in the past.\u00a0 In other words, remind them of the stories of how God has provided for them in previous days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, teach them to take their fears and to tell their fears to God.\u00a0 And then as we\u2019ve mentioned here, praise him that he\u2019s bigger than all their fears.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then a third, memorize Scripture, which we\u2019ve talked about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFourth, very important, and I think as a parent I get convicted about this, model an attitude of trust.\u00a0 Let them hear you express confidence in God and his ways.\u00a0 Make sure your countenance and body language reinforce the same message.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember back to 9\/11 again, when America was attacked.\u00a0 I felt like the adults, the parents, and I felt it too, I felt like we panicked a bit.\u00a0 We were afraid.\u00a0 We\u2019d never been attacked in our lifetimes as it happened.\u00a0 I think it took us a while to get some spiritual equilibrium to know how to do that fourth thing you talked about there, which is really to illustrate to our kids, model to our kids how we do trust in God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, another way of course we can model all this for our kids is to get great books like this and read them and process them with our spouse and be able to apply this in our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking of that list, and I\u2019m thinking that works not just for kids; that works for grown-ups as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s a good list.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you said, we\u2019ve got it on our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>website.\u00a0 You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and we\u2019ve posted the list there.\u00a0 In addition, you can get a copy of the book <em>Moving From Fear to Freedom <\/em>by Grace Fox.\u00a0 This may be a book that you want to go through a chapter a day as you read through it, or maybe you\u2019ll go through it with a group of women as you begin to tackle this issue in your life, so that fear does not become a spiritual stronghold that you have to deal with.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the title of the book:\u00a0 <em>Moving From Fear to Freedom: A Woman\u2019s Guide to Peace in Every Situation.<\/em>\u00a0 We have the book in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center.\u00a0 Order from us online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call toll-free 1-800-FL-TODAY, I-800-358-6329, that's 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 When you get in touch with us we\u2019ll let you know how you can get a copy of the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA quick reminder about the matching gift opportunity that we have going on during the month of December here at FamilyLife.\u00a0 We\u2019re very excited about this, hoping that we will hear from many of our FamilyLife Today listeners during this month.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, we probably need to hear from more listeners this month than we\u2019ve ever heard from before, so we\u2019re hoping that you\u2019ll consider either going online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or calling us at 1-800-FL-TODAY and taking advantage of this matching gift.\u00a0 Every time you make a donation, whatever the donation amount is, it\u2019s doubled dollar for dollar, and so we hope to hear from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain the website, FamilyLifeToday.com, or call us toll-free 1-800-358-6329, and we appreciate whatever you can do.\u00a0 We hope you\u2019ll pray for us this month; hope you\u2019ll pray that we\u2019ll be able to take full advantage of this matching gift opportunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you\u2019ll be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to continue talking about moving from fear to freedom with our guest, Grace Fox.\u00a0 I hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Song:<\/strong>\u00a0 <em>When I am afraid I will trust in you, In God whose word I praise. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Child:<\/strong><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>I trust you, Lord.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>I really do.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSong\u2014When I Am Afraid - Psalm 56:3 &amp; 4\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist:\u00a0 Steve Green (with some kids)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlbum:\u00a0 Hide 'Em In Your Heart - Bible Memory Melodies, Vol. 1 (p) 2003 Sparrow Kids\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2010 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302169","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302169"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302169"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302169"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302169"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}