{"id":302167,"date":"2010-11-30T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-11-30T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-gift-of-max\/"},"modified":"2010-11-30T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-11-30T17:00:00","slug":"the-gift-of-max","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-gift-of-max\/","title":{"rendered":"The Gift of Max"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Life can change in a moment.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-11-30.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"30.25M","filesize_raw":"31720394","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2090],"tags":[4798,2209,4177],"podcast_series":[7771],"cwp_profile":[8965,9218],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302167","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-special-needs-child","tag-kids","tag-parenting","tag-special-needs","podcast_series-breaking-free-with-max","cwp_profile-chuck-colson","cwp_profile-emily-colson","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302167\/the-gift-of-max","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302167\/the-gift-of-max","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"FjIQK6aU65\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-gift-of-max\/\">The Gift of Max<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-gift-of-max\/embed\/#?secret=FjIQK6aU65\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Gift of Max&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"FjIQK6aU65\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-11-30.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-11-30.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 People had told me, \u201dThis will be the hardest job you\u2019ve ever done, being a mother,\u201d and so I just assumed that the no sleep, the digestive battles -- I thought that that\u2019s what other parents were doing.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I was sitting in a play group with some other moms and I asked the question, \u201cHow do all of you do this on two hours of sleep a night?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, someone said, \u201cEmily, my child sleeps all night.\u201d\u00a0 And the other one said, \u201cMy child doesn\u2019t have those digestive battles.\u201d\u00a0 I felt so alone, sitting in that room, looking at all these mothers who were staring at me and my beautiful child.\u00a0 I began to realize, \u201cI have a different journey.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, November 30<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Today Emily Colson and her father, Chuck, share with us a little of the journey that God has had her on for the last almost two decades now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition.\u00a0 Before we dive back into the story that we\u2019re spending time talking about this week, there\u2019s another story we\u2019re sharing with listeners this week, Dennis, a story of some generosity of some friends of ours.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about it.\u00a0 In fact, some friends have stepped forward \u2013 the number is now approaching fifty of them \u2013 who said \u201cWe want to help FamilyLife and <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> stand strong in 2011.\u00a0 They have helped establish the largest matching grant we\u2019ve ever had for the month of December in the history of our ministry.\u00a0 It\u2019s a little over $2 million.\u00a0 So we\u2019re coming to our listeners here at the beginning of the broadcast.\u00a0 Basically, I\u2019m just sharing with you as a listener:\u00a0 \u201cI need your help.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The way it works is, when you make a donation of any amount, we can go and claim that same amount out of the matching gift fund.\u00a0 So, you send in a check for $100 or call 1-800-FLTODAY and made a $25 donation, and we can go and recover those funds from the matching gift fund.\u00a0 As you said, to get to a little over $2 million is going to be a stretch for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 You can see how we\u2019re doing by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 There will be a thermometer on there that you can track all month.\u00a0 We just need you to pick up the phone or go online or write a check and drop it in the mail and say, \u201cI want to stand with you guys.\u00a0 You\u2019ve helped my marriage and family here through <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to tell you something.\u00a0 I want you to stay tuned, not only for today\u2019s broadcast, but I also want you to stay tuned in the future, because we have got some electrifying things coming your way that I believe have the potential to strengthen literally hundreds of thousands and millions of marriages here in America and around the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can make a year-end donation by going to FamilyLifeToday.com and donating online, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329 and make a donation by phone.\u00a0 We want to say thanks in advance for your generous support here at year end.\u00a0 We really do appreciate it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, in thinking about the story we\u2019re going to hear today, Dennis, the story of Emily Colson giving birth to a son and the distress around the birth of that baby, I had to think back to your experience and the experience of your daughter and son-in-law when your grandbaby was born.\u00a0 Everyone knew there was something wrong right away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the birth of a baby represents so much hope and so much expectation and there are so many dreams and things you want to see this young life ultimately go on to achieve and to accomplish.\u00a0 When there is a diagnosis that intersects with the dream, that throws a bit of a curve into the whole thing.\u00a0 I mean, you have to step back and recalibrate and do what Emily Colson did, ask the question, \u201cWho is God and where is he in the midst of this?\u201d\u00a0 He was very much present.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEmily Colson joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and she just happened to bring her daddy along, who a few of our listeners may know, Chuck Colson.\u00a0 Welcome to the broadcast, Chuck.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chuck:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you Dennis.\u00a0 I\u2019m happy in this new, unaccustomed role of being the set-up man for my daughter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 You know, later on \u2013 not on today\u2019s broadcast, but later on I\u2019m going to have you introduce her.\u00a0 So we will give you the set-up a little bit later on in the week.\u00a0 Emily, I want to say welcome to you as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, thank you so much.\u00a0 It\u2019s a pleasure to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s written a book called <em>Dancing With Max: a Mother and Son Who Broke Free.<\/em>\u00a0 We learned yesterday what it was like for Emily Colson to grow up as a teenager with her daddy going to prison, and a little of their relationship.\u00a0 We\u2019ll not get into that again today, but the book really contains a powerful set of illustrations of how God cemented your relationship back together again as father and daughter.\u00a0 You went away to college, ultimately met a young man, you were married for ten years before you actually got pregnant, and you had a little boy by the name of Max.\u00a0 Why did you and Gary wait so many years to have a baby?\u00a0 Was that planned, or did you have difficulty?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think it just didn\u2019t really enter into our plan, and we\u2019d had some struggles in our marriage.\u00a0 At the time that we did decide to plan Max, we really felt that we were ready.\u00a0 I think that we weren\u2019t quite as ready for anything as we thought we were.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Emily, was there anything during the time when you were pregnant with Max that was an indicator that maybe there was something going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was one of those moms that never ate a chocolate chip.\u00a0 I was one of those hyper-diligent moms that did everything right.\u00a0 I weighed my food, I just did everything I possibly could, and I had some complications in the pregnancy, but nothing to indicate autism.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chuck, were you present when Emily was giving birth?\u00a0 How were you hearing about all of this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chuck:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I was keeping up with it by telephone, dying with anxiety.\u00a0 We went up immediately after Max was born, and I could tell there was something different about Max.\u00a0 Over those first few years, I just kept saying \u201cI hope and pray this is not what it appears to be,\u201d but it showed all the signs of autism from age two on, or age one-and-a-half on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Emily, there was a moment that you wrote about in your book when Gary was holding Max --\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 --and you just felt an urge to pick him up out of his arms and hold him, and there was something special that took place in your own heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, I remember it so clearly.\u00a0 Max came home.\u00a0 I was a new mom and nervous, and all of a sudden we were sitting together, and I looked down at Max at two weeks old, and he\u2019s screaming, crying with his mouth wide open like a big black kidney bean, and something came over me.\u00a0 I looked down at this child, pulled him from my husband\u2019s arms and held him in my arms and said, \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Max.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay.\u201d\u00a0 And all of a sudden I could feel this warmth come over me and I know that was the moment that I fell in love with Max.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Gary actually commented on it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 He did.\u00a0 He said, \u201cWhat just happened to you?\u201d\u00a0 He was kind of sarcastic about it.\u00a0 He saw something completely change in me, and I never went back.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been in love with him ever since.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What did happen to you?\u00a0 What do you think?\u00a0 If you look back on that moment, what happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think I understood at that moment that Max wasn\u2019t judging me, he wasn\u2019t testing me to see if I was a perfect parent, he wasn\u2019t expecting me to get it all right.\u00a0 He just needed me to love him, care for him, mistakes and all.\u00a0 All of a sudden, everything just released and I felt as if I could just love this child and be his mom and it was okay if I didn\u2019t have all the answers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Caring for Max in that first year had to be an incredibly stressful time.\u00a0 I think about what ultimately happened in your marriage.\u00a0 You guys were drained, both of you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 --physically, emotionally, caring for your son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 And people had told me, \u201dThis will be the hardest job you\u2019ve ever done, being a mother,\u201d and so I just assumed that that\u2019s what they were talking about, that the no sleep, the digestive battles -- I thought that that\u2019s what other parents were doing.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I was sitting in a play group with some other moms and I asked the question, \u201cHow do all of you do this on two hours of sleep a night?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMax was probably a few months old at that point, maybe four months old.\u00a0 They all looked at me and stared, and finally, someone said, \u201cEmily, my child sleeps all night.\u201d\u00a0 And the other one said, \u201cMy child doesn\u2019t have those digestive battles.\u201d\u00a0 I felt so alone, sitting in that room, looking at all these mothers who were staring at me and my beautiful child.\u00a0 I began to realize, \u201cI have a different journey.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had no sleep essentially, for nine years, which is the case for many, many moms with autistic kids.\u00a0 Many dads, many families know what this is all about.\u00a0 But it was pretty tough in that first year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wrote down what you said in your book.\u00a0 You said, \u201cLove, hate, fear, helplessness,\u201d you said, \u201cI wanted to stop feeling.\u201d\u00a0 You know, after reading your story I can understand that how you would get to the point of wanting to stop feeling such loss.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chuck:<\/strong>\u00a0 People ask me often about how I reacted to all that, and it was very, very difficult for a dad to watch his daughter suffer that much, particularly when we\u2019d had such a close experience together in that hospital, and now I\u2019m watching her go through terrible experiences.\u00a0 On the other hand, I watched her do something which subsequently has become a great spiritual lesson to me.\u00a0 I saw her completely sacrifice herself to take care of this child, give up everything else, and this is agape love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know there are four kinds of love, storge, which is affection, and eros, which is sexual attraction, and phileo, which is a brotherly relationship.\u00a0\u00a0 Agape love is the one that we\u2019re least capable of, because it means total self-denial.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve only seen it twice.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen it with Al Quie, who offered to go to prison for me when I was in prison so I could be home with my family.\u00a0 He was willing to give up his career as a congressman and take my place in prison.\u00a0 He tried to, went to President Ford to see if he could do that, that\u2019s agape love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd what I\u2019ve witnessed with Emily is agape love.\u00a0 So all these things which we are talking about, which are really tough, and this is a painful story \u2013 it\u2019s a story that people will identify with Emily because all kinds of \u2013 everybody has had pains like this.\u00a0 Maybe not this concentrated as Emily, but you can also learn that God uses suffering and redeems it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know many of us don\u2019t think of ourselves as being an example of how to suffer, but there\u2019s a book in the Bible that is really written to Christians who were scattered and they were being persecuted.\u00a0 It\u2019s the book of I Peter.\u00a0 It talks about in that book about how we are to suffer and be an example of how Christ suffered on our behalf, and Emily did that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the other hand, Emily, your husband didn\u2019t process this quite in the same way as you did, and ultimately, your marriage dissolved in a divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Max was eighteen months old and he left.\u00a0 That was before I even had the diagnosis, so after going through a really difficult divorce, Max was diagnosed with autism.\u00a0 Yes, that was a pretty difficult time for all of us.\u00a0 And yet God has done so much through this whole thing, and brought us to the most extraordinary place that I can look back now at those places of pain and know that he used it, he has redeemed it.\u00a0 It\u2019s been extraordinary with Max.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m wondering if \u2013 and I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve asked yourself this question\u2014I wonder if you\u2019ve come to an answer \u2013 If Max hadn\u2019t been born, if he hadn\u2019t had autism, would your marriage have survived, do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I think there would have been another stress that would have created the same kind of reaction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So the foundation had cracks and the stress just revealed the cracks that were there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly it.\u00a0 It just wedged it open.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 As I read your book, I just couldn\u2019t get away from some of what your dad just mentioned.\u00a0 Being a single parent mom, tackling in the early years something you didn\u2019t know what you were fighting.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t know what you were up against.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You hadn\u2019t yet experienced a diagnosis of what Max was coping with, and yet you began to search for solutions and finally found them.\u00a0 I think it would be important to share with our listeners a little of that story of how you finally did get a diagnosis and what your response was at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s really tough to go through this when your child is being evaluated.\u00a0 I\u2019m watching Max being tested, and he\u2019s not getting any of the answers they\u2019re looking for.\u00a0 It\u2019s difficult.\u00a0 I wanted to jump in and change things and intervene and translate, but I needed to stay on the sidelines.\u00a0 So I knew it wasn\u2019t going well, and they are asking all sorts of questions.\u00a0 The evaluators left, went and had a discussion about what was going on, clearly, came back, they sat in these four little chairs and I sat across from them holding Max and he\u2019s kind of playing and having a good time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSuddenly I realized they were not asking me the same kind of questions they were before.\u00a0 It was very quiet, it was very hushed.\u00a0 They knew then that it was autism.\u00a0 They weren\u2019t going to tell me, but Max leaned into me.\u00a0 He was trying to hug me.\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to get information from these people, because it took a year to get into that hospital, and I finally just gave in.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMax threw himself on me like Garfield on the inside of a car window, just stuck to me, and it was as if I\u2019d been drugged.\u00a0 I just felt that overwhelming love for him, and I leaned into him and I said, \u201cMax, you did a great job today.\u201d\u00a0 I could hear the oohs and aahs from the evaluators; it was as if grace just lapped over the sides and spilled onto them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Autism has a spectrum to it.\u00a0 There is severely autistic, mildly autistic, there is Asperger\u2019s, I mean we\u2019ve heard about this autism spectrum.\u00a0 Were they able to in the diagnosis place Max somewhere on that spectrum?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 They placed him simply as autistic.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until later on that you begin to sort of understand where the child falls on that spectrum.\u00a0 By the time Max was nine, I really was pretty broken and the autism was so challenging that we could barely even go out of the house because the tantrums were so huge.\u00a0 These aren\u2019t the kinds of tantrums that other kids have when they want to buy something and they throw themselves on the floor.\u00a0 What Max wanted was for the world to make sense and it didn\u2019t, and he was looking to me to give him the answers and to help him to understand the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you would say he was at the far end of the spectrum?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 He was a pretty complicated child when he was young.\u00a0 Yes, he was.\u00a0 He was pretty severe with autism.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I\u2019m guessing, as you described how you were during your pregnancy, very scrupulous not to eat a chocolate chip or do anything that would endanger your child, I\u2019m guessing that in those early years with Max you were doing anything and everything to try to fix this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, I most certainly was.\u00a0 I was hunting down specialists like a crazed groupie.\u00a0 I was sure that somebody had the answer and I needed them to help us.\u00a0 We hit a lot of dead ends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So if a mom came to you today with a four-year-old who has been diagnosed and who is throwing tantrums and said, \u201cOkay, I\u2019ve read about these dietary things I can do, or about color therapy that I can do, or there are things you can do with sonic waves\u201d \u2013 she\u2019s found it all on the internet \u2013 what would you say to her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think that there are some things that are reasonable that we absolutely do have to pursue, and some of those things that aren\u2019t so conventional can actually have a really powerful impact on our kids.\u00a0 The challenge is, we don\u2019t know what treatment works for that particular child.\u00a0 There\u2019s no set formula, there\u2019s no set guarantee that will work with every single child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So do you try everything?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think you try a lot of things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chuck:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually, what Emily did that unlocked the problem with Max was really quite ingenious, and actually would be helpful to people who have this kind of a situation.\u00a0 Tell them what you did that finally enabled Max to make sense of the world around him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is truly an answer to prayer.\u00a0 I had been praying for God to lift Max\u2019s anxiety.\u00a0 I thought if there\u2019s one thing that\u2019s really holding us back and changing his life, it\u2019s that anxiety for life.\u00a0 So, I began drawing pictures for Max, as an artist drawing pictures of life and how it was happening and unfolding around him at the time.\u00a0 I was translating life real time into pictures.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tVery quickly Max made suggestions of what he wanted me to draw, and he started telling me things he was afraid of from eight years prior, his hopes, his dreams, his fears, his thoughts.\u00a0 Everything began to spill out when he saw it land on the page and become concrete and tangible on paper.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow that was ten years ago.\u00a0 We have about 1400 of these drawings now, these conversations.\u00a0 It\u2019s really Max\u2019s diary.\u00a0 I can see the progression in Max over the past ten years.\u00a0 The drawings from earlier were all about his fears and things that he couldn\u2019t understand in life.\u00a0 Now, his drawings are about things he\u2019s interested in, people he wants to see, singers he hopes will come over and have dinner at our house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wonder where he got all these dreams.\u00a0 Could it be he got them from his mom, because when you were given a diagnosis that said Max wouldn\u2019t be able to do any of these things, you shot back at them, \u201cNo, my son will be \u2013\u201c\u00a0 What?\u00a0 What did you say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, we had a really nasty fellow in the school system one day who was almost making fun of Max.\u00a0 Truthfully, it was really a painful time.\u00a0 I pointed my finger into the air and I said, \u201cMax is going to be a bridge designer some day.\u00a0 You just watch.\u201d\u00a0 Truthfully, what has happened is that Max has been a tremendous bridge in teaching us the things of God and connecting us and connecting people.\u00a0 He has been the bridge.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chuck:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, we are so limited in our thinking on life.\u00a0 We are going to put people in little boxes, and we\u2019re going to say, \u201cThis person can do this.\u00a0 This person can do that.\u201d\u00a0 God can do anything, and he shows us and confounds the wisdom of the world by taking someone like Max and using him for something really great.\u00a0 He\u2019s a gift.\u00a0 Max is a gift.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 He is.\u00a0 I had a wonderful friend when Max was diagnosed.\u00a0 We called her Peppermint Patty.\u00a0 She said to me, \u201cGod works through these children.\u00a0 Max is a gift.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cYou\u2019re going to have to wait a while.\u00a0 It might take you a few years to know what that really means.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell now that Max is nineteen, I get it.\u00a0 I understand what Peppermint Patty was talking about.\u00a0 It\u2019s an extraordinary gift.\u00a0 Max is, at nineteen years old, known as \u201cthe Joy Boy.\u201d\u00a0 He has brought out the most extraordinary things in other people.\u00a0 This kindness and graciousness in other people for the things that they\u2019ve done for Max has been amazing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I\u2019ve got an idea.\u00a0 It\u2019s coming up on Christmas, and you\u2019re looking for a meaningful gift to give your family.\u00a0 I\u2019d encourage folks to get a copy of <em>Dancing With Max<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s got 28, 29 chapters in it, and the chapters are short.\u00a0 It would make a great family time, once a week, that\u2019s almost half of a year, to maybe have your own dance with Max at the dinner table, and go to school on this young lad and pick up some of the joy that he has to pass around.\u00a0 I think it might be a good idea for a lot of families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course we\u2019ve got copies of the book in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center.\u00a0 You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to request a copy of the book <em>Dancing With Max<\/em>, or you can call us toll free at 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800, F as in \u201cFamily,\u201d L as in \u201cLife,\u201d and then the word \u201cToday.\u201d\u00a0 Or again, online you can find out more about <em>Dancing With Max<\/em> at our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, every so often I will meet folks who are new listeners to <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> folks who, although we\u2019ve been doing this program for now more than 18 years, they\u2019ve just started listening in the last three or four or five years, or in some cases, just the last few months.\u00a0 It\u2019s always fun to get to know new listeners and to find out a little about their story. If you are one of those new listeners to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and you don\u2019t know much about us or about the ministry, I want to encourage you to get to know us, to go online, to check out FamilyLifeToday.com, see what all is available.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, we\u2019ve got a gift we\u2019d like to give you.\u00a0 It\u2019s a Christmas book written and illustrated by Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>When Christmas Came<\/em>.\u00a0 This is a book where Barbara takes what is arguably the best-known verse in all of Scripture, John 3:16, and looks at the Christmas account through the lens of that verse.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like a copy of the book to share with your family during the holiday season, contact us online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FLTODAY and simply request it.\u00a0 Just ask for a copy of the book <em>When Christmas Came<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019re happy to send it out to you, and we hope it helps you get to know who we are a little bit better.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call us toll-free at 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329, that\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word, \u201cToday.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow tomorrow we are going to hear more from Chuck and Emily Colson.\u00a0 Emily is going to share with us about Max in his teen years and his young adult life, and about what the future holds.\u00a0 That comes up tomorrow, and I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2010 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["30.25M"],"filesize_raw":["31720394"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302167.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302167.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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can change in a moment.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-11-30.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 People had told me, \u201dThis will be the hardest job you\u2019ve ever done, being a mother,\u201d and so I just assumed that the no sleep, the digestive battles -- I thought that that\u2019s what other parents were doing.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I was sitting in a play group with some other moms and I asked the question, \u201cHow do all of you do this on two hours of sleep a night?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, someone said, \u201cEmily, my child sleeps all night.\u201d\u00a0 And the other one said, \u201cMy child doesn\u2019t have those digestive battles.\u201d\u00a0 I felt so alone, sitting in that room, looking at all these mothers who were staring at me and my beautiful child.\u00a0 I began to realize, \u201cI have a different journey.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, November 30<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Today Emily Colson and her father, Chuck, share with us a little of the journey that God has had her on for the last almost two decades now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition.\u00a0 Before we dive back into the story that we\u2019re spending time talking about this week, there\u2019s another story we\u2019re sharing with listeners this week, Dennis, a story of some generosity of some friends of ours.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about it.\u00a0 In fact, some friends have stepped forward \u2013 the number is now approaching fifty of them \u2013 who said \u201cWe want to help FamilyLife and <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> stand strong in 2011.\u00a0 They have helped establish the largest matching grant we\u2019ve ever had for the month of December in the history of our ministry.\u00a0 It\u2019s a little over $2 million.\u00a0 So we\u2019re coming to our listeners here at the beginning of the broadcast.\u00a0 Basically, I\u2019m just sharing with you as a listener:\u00a0 \u201cI need your help.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The way it works is, when you make a donation of any amount, we can go and claim that same amount out of the matching gift fund.\u00a0 So, you send in a check for $100 or call 1-800-FLTODAY and made a $25 donation, and we can go and recover those funds from the matching gift fund.\u00a0 As you said, to get to a little over $2 million is going to be a stretch for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 You can see how we\u2019re doing by going online to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 There will be a thermometer on there that you can track all month.\u00a0 We just need you to pick up the phone or go online or write a check and drop it in the mail and say, \u201cI want to stand with you guys.\u00a0 You\u2019ve helped my marriage and family here through <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to tell you something.\u00a0 I want you to stay tuned, not only for today\u2019s broadcast, but I also want you to stay tuned in the future, because we have got some electrifying things coming your way that I believe have the potential to strengthen literally hundreds of thousands and millions of marriages here in America and around the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can make a year-end donation by going to FamilyLifeToday.com and donating online, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329 and make a donation by phone.\u00a0 We want to say thanks in advance for your generous support here at year end.\u00a0 We really do appreciate it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, in thinking about the story we\u2019re going to hear today, Dennis, the story of Emily Colson giving birth to a son and the distress around the birth of that baby, I had to think back to your experience and the experience of your daughter and son-in-law when your grandbaby was born.\u00a0 Everyone knew there was something wrong right away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the birth of a baby represents so much hope and so much expectation and there are so many dreams and things you want to see this young life ultimately go on to achieve and to accomplish.\u00a0 When there is a diagnosis that intersects with the dream, that throws a bit of a curve into the whole thing.\u00a0 I mean, you have to step back and recalibrate and do what Emily Colson did, ask the question, \u201cWho is God and where is he in the midst of this?\u201d\u00a0 He was very much present.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEmily Colson joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and she just happened to bring her daddy along, who a few of our listeners may know, Chuck Colson.\u00a0 Welcome to the broadcast, Chuck.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chuck:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you Dennis.\u00a0 I\u2019m happy in this new, unaccustomed role of being the set-up man for my daughter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 You know, later on \u2013 not on today\u2019s broadcast, but later on I\u2019m going to have you introduce her.\u00a0 So we will give you the set-up a little bit later on in the week.\u00a0 Emily, I want to say welcome to you as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, thank you so much.\u00a0 It\u2019s a pleasure to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s written a book called <em>Dancing With Max: a Mother and Son Who Broke Free.<\/em>\u00a0 We learned yesterday what it was like for Emily Colson to grow up as a teenager with her daddy going to prison, and a little of their relationship.\u00a0 We\u2019ll not get into that again today, but the book really contains a powerful set of illustrations of how God cemented your relationship back together again as father and daughter.\u00a0 You went away to college, ultimately met a young man, you were married for ten years before you actually got pregnant, and you had a little boy by the name of Max.\u00a0 Why did you and Gary wait so many years to have a baby?\u00a0 Was that planned, or did you have difficulty?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think it just didn\u2019t really enter into our plan, and we\u2019d had some struggles in our marriage.\u00a0 At the time that we did decide to plan Max, we really felt that we were ready.\u00a0 I think that we weren\u2019t quite as ready for anything as we thought we were.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Emily, was there anything during the time when you were pregnant with Max that was an indicator that maybe there was something going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was one of those moms that never ate a chocolate chip.\u00a0 I was one of those hyper-diligent moms that did everything right.\u00a0 I weighed my food, I just did everything I possibly could, and I had some complications in the pregnancy, but nothing to indicate autism.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chuck, were you present when Emily was giving birth?\u00a0 How were you hearing about all of this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chuck:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I was keeping up with it by telephone, dying with anxiety.\u00a0 We went up immediately after Max was born, and I could tell there was something different about Max.\u00a0 Over those first few years, I just kept saying \u201cI hope and pray this is not what it appears to be,\u201d but it showed all the signs of autism from age two on, or age one-and-a-half on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Emily, there was a moment that you wrote about in your book when Gary was holding Max --\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 --and you just felt an urge to pick him up out of his arms and hold him, and there was something special that took place in your own heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, I remember it so clearly.\u00a0 Max came home.\u00a0 I was a new mom and nervous, and all of a sudden we were sitting together, and I looked down at Max at two weeks old, and he\u2019s screaming, crying with his mouth wide open like a big black kidney bean, and something came over me.\u00a0 I looked down at this child, pulled him from my husband\u2019s arms and held him in my arms and said, \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Max.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay.\u201d\u00a0 And all of a sudden I could feel this warmth come over me and I know that was the moment that I fell in love with Max.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Gary actually commented on it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 He did.\u00a0 He said, \u201cWhat just happened to you?\u201d\u00a0 He was kind of sarcastic about it.\u00a0 He saw something completely change in me, and I never went back.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been in love with him ever since.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What did happen to you?\u00a0 What do you think?\u00a0 If you look back on that moment, what happened?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think I understood at that moment that Max wasn\u2019t judging me, he wasn\u2019t testing me to see if I was a perfect parent, he wasn\u2019t expecting me to get it all right.\u00a0 He just needed me to love him, care for him, mistakes and all.\u00a0 All of a sudden, everything just released and I felt as if I could just love this child and be his mom and it was okay if I didn\u2019t have all the answers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Caring for Max in that first year had to be an incredibly stressful time.\u00a0 I think about what ultimately happened in your marriage.\u00a0 You guys were drained, both of you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 --physically, emotionally, caring for your son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 And people had told me, \u201dThis will be the hardest job you\u2019ve ever done, being a mother,\u201d and so I just assumed that that\u2019s what they were talking about, that the no sleep, the digestive battles -- I thought that that\u2019s what other parents were doing.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I was sitting in a play group with some other moms and I asked the question, \u201cHow do all of you do this on two hours of sleep a night?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMax was probably a few months old at that point, maybe four months old.\u00a0 They all looked at me and stared, and finally, someone said, \u201cEmily, my child sleeps all night.\u201d\u00a0 And the other one said, \u201cMy child doesn\u2019t have those digestive battles.\u201d\u00a0 I felt so alone, sitting in that room, looking at all these mothers who were staring at me and my beautiful child.\u00a0 I began to realize, \u201cI have a different journey.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had no sleep essentially, for nine years, which is the case for many, many moms with autistic kids.\u00a0 Many dads, many families know what this is all about.\u00a0 But it was pretty tough in that first year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wrote down what you said in your book.\u00a0 You said, \u201cLove, hate, fear, helplessness,\u201d you said, \u201cI wanted to stop feeling.\u201d\u00a0 You know, after reading your story I can understand that how you would get to the point of wanting to stop feeling such loss.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chuck:<\/strong>\u00a0 People ask me often about how I reacted to all that, and it was very, very difficult for a dad to watch his daughter suffer that much, particularly when we\u2019d had such a close experience together in that hospital, and now I\u2019m watching her go through terrible experiences.\u00a0 On the other hand, I watched her do something which subsequently has become a great spiritual lesson to me.\u00a0 I saw her completely sacrifice herself to take care of this child, give up everything else, and this is agape love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know there are four kinds of love, storge, which is affection, and eros, which is sexual attraction, and phileo, which is a brotherly relationship.\u00a0\u00a0 Agape love is the one that we\u2019re least capable of, because it means total self-denial.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve only seen it twice.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen it with Al Quie, who offered to go to prison for me when I was in prison so I could be home with my family.\u00a0 He was willing to give up his career as a congressman and take my place in prison.\u00a0 He tried to, went to President Ford to see if he could do that, that\u2019s agape love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd what I\u2019ve witnessed with Emily is agape love.\u00a0 So all these things which we are talking about, which are really tough, and this is a painful story \u2013 it\u2019s a story that people will identify with Emily because all kinds of \u2013 everybody has had pains like this.\u00a0 Maybe not this concentrated as Emily, but you can also learn that God uses suffering and redeems it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know many of us don\u2019t think of ourselves as being an example of how to suffer, but there\u2019s a book in the Bible that is really written to Christians who were scattered and they were being persecuted.\u00a0 It\u2019s the book of I Peter.\u00a0 It talks about in that book about how we are to suffer and be an example of how Christ suffered on our behalf, and Emily did that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the other hand, Emily, your husband didn\u2019t process this quite in the same way as you did, and ultimately, your marriage dissolved in a divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Max was eighteen months old and he left.\u00a0 That was before I even had the diagnosis, so after going through a really difficult divorce, Max was diagnosed with autism.\u00a0 Yes, that was a pretty difficult time for all of us.\u00a0 And yet God has done so much through this whole thing, and brought us to the most extraordinary place that I can look back now at those places of pain and know that he used it, he has redeemed it.\u00a0 It\u2019s been extraordinary with Max.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m wondering if \u2013 and I\u2019m sure you\u2019ve asked yourself this question\u2014I wonder if you\u2019ve come to an answer \u2013 If Max hadn\u2019t been born, if he hadn\u2019t had autism, would your marriage have survived, do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I think there would have been another stress that would have created the same kind of reaction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So the foundation had cracks and the stress just revealed the cracks that were there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly it.\u00a0 It just wedged it open.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 As I read your book, I just couldn\u2019t get away from some of what your dad just mentioned.\u00a0 Being a single parent mom, tackling in the early years something you didn\u2019t know what you were fighting.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t know what you were up against.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You hadn\u2019t yet experienced a diagnosis of what Max was coping with, and yet you began to search for solutions and finally found them.\u00a0 I think it would be important to share with our listeners a little of that story of how you finally did get a diagnosis and what your response was at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s really tough to go through this when your child is being evaluated.\u00a0 I\u2019m watching Max being tested, and he\u2019s not getting any of the answers they\u2019re looking for.\u00a0 It\u2019s difficult.\u00a0 I wanted to jump in and change things and intervene and translate, but I needed to stay on the sidelines.\u00a0 So I knew it wasn\u2019t going well, and they are asking all sorts of questions.\u00a0 The evaluators left, went and had a discussion about what was going on, clearly, came back, they sat in these four little chairs and I sat across from them holding Max and he\u2019s kind of playing and having a good time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSuddenly I realized they were not asking me the same kind of questions they were before.\u00a0 It was very quiet, it was very hushed.\u00a0 They knew then that it was autism.\u00a0 They weren\u2019t going to tell me, but Max leaned into me.\u00a0 He was trying to hug me.\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to get information from these people, because it took a year to get into that hospital, and I finally just gave in.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMax threw himself on me like Garfield on the inside of a car window, just stuck to me, and it was as if I\u2019d been drugged.\u00a0 I just felt that overwhelming love for him, and I leaned into him and I said, \u201cMax, you did a great job today.\u201d\u00a0 I could hear the oohs and aahs from the evaluators; it was as if grace just lapped over the sides and spilled onto them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Autism has a spectrum to it.\u00a0 There is severely autistic, mildly autistic, there is Asperger\u2019s, I mean we\u2019ve heard about this autism spectrum.\u00a0 Were they able to in the diagnosis place Max somewhere on that spectrum?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 They placed him simply as autistic.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until later on that you begin to sort of understand where the child falls on that spectrum.\u00a0 By the time Max was nine, I really was pretty broken and the autism was so challenging that we could barely even go out of the house because the tantrums were so huge.\u00a0 These aren\u2019t the kinds of tantrums that other kids have when they want to buy something and they throw themselves on the floor.\u00a0 What Max wanted was for the world to make sense and it didn\u2019t, and he was looking to me to give him the answers and to help him to understand the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you would say he was at the far end of the spectrum?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 He was a pretty complicated child when he was young.\u00a0 Yes, he was.\u00a0 He was pretty severe with autism.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I\u2019m guessing, as you described how you were during your pregnancy, very scrupulous not to eat a chocolate chip or do anything that would endanger your child, I\u2019m guessing that in those early years with Max you were doing anything and everything to try to fix this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, I most certainly was.\u00a0 I was hunting down specialists like a crazed groupie.\u00a0 I was sure that somebody had the answer and I needed them to help us.\u00a0 We hit a lot of dead ends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So if a mom came to you today with a four-year-old who has been diagnosed and who is throwing tantrums and said, \u201cOkay, I\u2019ve read about these dietary things I can do, or about color therapy that I can do, or there are things you can do with sonic waves\u201d \u2013 she\u2019s found it all on the internet \u2013 what would you say to her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think that there are some things that are reasonable that we absolutely do have to pursue, and some of those things that aren\u2019t so conventional can actually have a really powerful impact on our kids.\u00a0 The challenge is, we don\u2019t know what treatment works for that particular child.\u00a0 There\u2019s no set formula, there\u2019s no set guarantee that will work with every single child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So do you try everything?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think you try a lot of things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chuck:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually, what Emily did that unlocked the problem with Max was really quite ingenious, and actually would be helpful to people who have this kind of a situation.\u00a0 Tell them what you did that finally enabled Max to make sense of the world around him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is truly an answer to prayer.\u00a0 I had been praying for God to lift Max\u2019s anxiety.\u00a0 I thought if there\u2019s one thing that\u2019s really holding us back and changing his life, it\u2019s that anxiety for life.\u00a0 So, I began drawing pictures for Max, as an artist drawing pictures of life and how it was happening and unfolding around him at the time.\u00a0 I was translating life real time into pictures.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tVery quickly Max made suggestions of what he wanted me to draw, and he started telling me things he was afraid of from eight years prior, his hopes, his dreams, his fears, his thoughts.\u00a0 Everything began to spill out when he saw it land on the page and become concrete and tangible on paper.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow that was ten years ago.\u00a0 We have about 1400 of these drawings now, these conversations.\u00a0 It\u2019s really Max\u2019s diary.\u00a0 I can see the progression in Max over the past ten years.\u00a0 The drawings from earlier were all about his fears and things that he couldn\u2019t understand in life.\u00a0 Now, his drawings are about things he\u2019s interested in, people he wants to see, singers he hopes will come over and have dinner at our house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wonder where he got all these dreams.\u00a0 Could it be he got them from his mom, because when you were given a diagnosis that said Max wouldn\u2019t be able to do any of these things, you shot back at them, \u201cNo, my son will be \u2013\u201c\u00a0 What?\u00a0 What did you say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, we had a really nasty fellow in the school system one day who was almost making fun of Max.\u00a0 Truthfully, it was really a painful time.\u00a0 I pointed my finger into the air and I said, \u201cMax is going to be a bridge designer some day.\u00a0 You just watch.\u201d\u00a0 Truthfully, what has happened is that Max has been a tremendous bridge in teaching us the things of God and connecting us and connecting people.\u00a0 He has been the bridge.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chuck:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, we are so limited in our thinking on life.\u00a0 We are going to put people in little boxes, and we\u2019re going to say, \u201cThis person can do this.\u00a0 This person can do that.\u201d\u00a0 God can do anything, and he shows us and confounds the wisdom of the world by taking someone like Max and using him for something really great.\u00a0 He\u2019s a gift.\u00a0 Max is a gift.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Emily:<\/strong>\u00a0 He is.\u00a0 I had a wonderful friend when Max was diagnosed.\u00a0 We called her Peppermint Patty.\u00a0 She said to me, \u201cGod works through these children.\u00a0 Max is a gift.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cYou\u2019re going to have to wait a while.\u00a0 It might take you a few years to know what that really means.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell now that Max is nineteen, I get it.\u00a0 I understand what Peppermint Patty was talking about.\u00a0 It\u2019s an extraordinary gift.\u00a0 Max is, at nineteen years old, known as \u201cthe Joy Boy.\u201d\u00a0 He has brought out the most extraordinary things in other people.\u00a0 This kindness and graciousness in other people for the things that they\u2019ve done for Max has been amazing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I\u2019ve got an idea.\u00a0 It\u2019s coming up on Christmas, and you\u2019re looking for a meaningful gift to give your family.\u00a0 I\u2019d encourage folks to get a copy of <em>Dancing With Max<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s got 28, 29 chapters in it, and the chapters are short.\u00a0 It would make a great family time, once a week, that\u2019s almost half of a year, to maybe have your own dance with Max at the dinner table, and go to school on this young lad and pick up some of the joy that he has to pass around.\u00a0 I think it might be a good idea for a lot of families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course we\u2019ve got copies of the book in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center.\u00a0 You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to request a copy of the book <em>Dancing With Max<\/em>, or you can call us toll free at 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800, F as in \u201cFamily,\u201d L as in \u201cLife,\u201d and then the word \u201cToday.\u201d\u00a0 Or again, online you can find out more about <em>Dancing With Max<\/em> at our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, every so often I will meet folks who are new listeners to <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> folks who, although we\u2019ve been doing this program for now more than 18 years, they\u2019ve just started listening in the last three or four or five years, or in some cases, just the last few months.\u00a0 It\u2019s always fun to get to know new listeners and to find out a little about their story. If you are one of those new listeners to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and you don\u2019t know much about us or about the ministry, I want to encourage you to get to know us, to go online, to check out FamilyLifeToday.com, see what all is available.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, we\u2019ve got a gift we\u2019d like to give you.\u00a0 It\u2019s a Christmas book written and illustrated by Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>When Christmas Came<\/em>.\u00a0 This is a book where Barbara takes what is arguably the best-known verse in all of Scripture, John 3:16, and looks at the Christmas account through the lens of that verse.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like a copy of the book to share with your family during the holiday season, contact us online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FLTODAY and simply request it.\u00a0 Just ask for a copy of the book <em>When Christmas Came<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019re happy to send it out to you, and we hope it helps you get to know who we are a little bit better.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call us toll-free at 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329, that\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word, \u201cToday.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow tomorrow we are going to hear more from Chuck and Emily Colson.\u00a0 Emily is going to share with us about Max in his teen years and his young adult life, and about what the future holds.\u00a0 That comes up tomorrow, and I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2010 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302167","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302167"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302167"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302167"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302167"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302167"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302167"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302167"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}