{"id":302163,"date":"2010-11-24T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-11-24T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-secret-ingredients-to-a-spiritually\/"},"modified":"2010-11-24T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-11-24T17:00:00","slug":"the-secret-ingredients-to-a-spiritually","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-secret-ingredients-to-a-spiritually\/","title":{"rendered":"The Secret Ingredients to a Spiritually"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Milk keeps their bones strong. But what are you doing to keep their faith strong?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-11-24.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.05M","filesize_raw":"27319995","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2806],"tags":[4722,4983,4798,2706],"podcast_series":[7769],"cwp_profile":[3107,9217],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302163","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritual-development","tag-christianity","tag-family-devotions","tag-kids","tag-spiritual-growth","podcast_series-it-starts-at-home","cwp_profile-kurt-bruner","cwp_profile-steve-stroope","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302163\/the-secret-ingredients-to-a-spiritually","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302163\/the-secret-ingredients-to-a-spiritually","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"nBQBeH8Qfj\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-secret-ingredients-to-a-spiritually\/\">The Secret Ingredients to a Spiritually<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-secret-ingredients-to-a-spiritually\/embed\/#?secret=nBQBeH8Qfj\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Secret Ingredients to a Spiritually&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"nBQBeH8Qfj\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-11-24.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-11-24.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you want to have meaningful conversations with your son or your daughter around issues of life, about God, about stuff that really matters, Pastor Steve Stroope says you need to make sure you allow plenty of time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 We look at vacations.\u00a0 We look at activities for the family and we think we have to bribe and entertain our kids all the time.\u00a0 I think our kids really desire to spend time with us, just to spend time doing life together.\u00a0 Just make time to get out and begin to talk about things that we would never talk about if we had some kind of project going.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, November 24<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about the important role we play as moms and dads in evangelizing and discipling our own children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 As you were raising your kids, other than your mom and dad, did you have a model, other couples or other families who you looked at and you said \u201cwe need to follow what they are doing?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had a couple of them.\u00a0 Don and Sally Meredith were one and they discipled me at the University of Arkansas as a student.\u00a0 I had another one in Dr. Howard Hendricks and his wife Jeanne, who I studied under at Dallas Theological Seminary.\u00a0 I had some pretty powerful models.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m going to say yes, you pulled out the big guns here.\u00a0 I was just thinking of some family down the street that was maybe doing it right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just telling you\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Who lives down the street from you, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026that\u2019s who influenced my life.\u00a0 I think we underestimate the power that a model can be and you don\u2019t have to be Professor of Christian Education at Dallas Theological Seminary to influence somebody\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In fact, I\u2019ve got some friends of mine who just recently got together on a Tuesday night with a younger couple in their church.\u00a0 This younger couple had come to them and said. \u201cWe\u2019ve been married for a couple of years, we don\u2019t have any kids, we\u2019re doing okay, but we\u2019d just like to hang out.\u00a0 We\u2019d just like to learn from you.\u201d\u00a0 So they\u2019re going to get together, I don\u2019t know, every month or so\u2026<br><br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 \u2026and just spend an evening together and talk about whatever they want to talk about.\u00a0 I thought that\u2019s healthy for anybody, to have that kind of relationship with somebody who\u2019s maybe a few laps down the road from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t agree more, Bob.\u00a0 We have with us in the studio a couple of chefs who\u2026\u00a0 You know how the Colonel had his secret herbs and spices at Kentucky Fried Chicken\u2026?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Most of our listeners don\u2019t remember, because that was in the marketing campaign from about thirty years ago.\u00a0 But I remember it myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 Thank you so much.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Kurt Bruner and Steve Stroope join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 You gentlemen work together at a little church down in Rockwall, Texas, 11,000 members, Lake Pointe.\u00a0 You have been in ministry Steve, for thirty years, and Kurt, how many years for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 In pastoral ministry, about four and prior to that I was at <em>Focus on the Family<\/em> for about twenty years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Together you\u2019ve come up with a book called <em>It Starts at Home <\/em>and it\u2019s talking about how a church can really have the DNA of building families and equipping their families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How you can cook that up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s it exactly, exactly right.\u00a0 You guys have got a couple of herbs and spices that you say are the secrets to ultimately being a successful parent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And these herbs and spices came from your own observation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, they did.\u00a0 For Olivia and me, when we were young parents, we looked\u2026.\u00a0 Keep in mind that she came from a very troubled home.\u00a0 I came from a Christian family and one of my heroes is my dad and, of course, my mom.\u00a0 My dad, in particular, as he laid down his life regularly for his family, worked two jobs because he had seven kids to feed and so forth.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I wouldn\u2019t say we were in a home that had the kinds of ideas that our generation has in terms of how to be intentional about the faith.\u00a0 So family devotions were a boring thing in our family, sitting there with the giant family Bible once a year because the preacher said you\u2019re supposed to do this and Mom nudged Dad, Dad felt guilty, and he pulls out the Bible and we\u2019d rather be at the dentist than having family devotions.\u00a0 So it wasn\u2019t a model that I looked at and said that\u2019s what I want to do with my kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to ask Steve that.\u00a0 What kind of home did you grow up in?\u00a0 Did you have the big Bible opened at your house like he\u2019s talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 The thing is that the two finest Christians, Dennis, that I\u2019ve even known in my entire life were my mom and dad.\u00a0 That\u2019s one of the great blessings that God gave me.\u00a0 I know that everybody doesn\u2019t have that model but most of my parenting I learned from my mom and dad.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t have the resources that we have today but I think they were led by God\u2019s spirit to know that it was more about relationships than it was about content.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just remember going on camping trips with my parents.\u00a0 They couldn\u2019t afford to take us to Disneyland or some of these other places.\u00a0 I\u2019m grateful for that because we just spent time together, fishing together, hiking together, cooking together, and they just lived out their faith in front of us.\u00a0 So they were the model for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 You talk about the two ingredients.\u00a0 That is a foundational ingredient right there and it\u2019s simply relationship.\u00a0 Another way of putting it is laughing together, spending time together, and enjoying one another\u2019s company.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we were young parents we started interviewing some of these couples that had older kids.\u00a0 Ours\u2019 were really young.\u00a0 They had older kids and we\u2019d look at them and we\u2019d say they have a good relationship with their kids, nothing perfect.\u00a0 They enjoy being together.\u00a0 They still want to talk to their parents, you know, even though they\u2019re 17, 18, 20, whatever it may be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe looked at those families and we said we wanted to find out what they did so that we can do that.\u00a0 And it came down to what we call two secret sauce ingredients.\u00a0 The first one was relationship.\u00a0 It was just that they enjoy one another\u2019s company. The second thing is they all did something to be intentional in terms of the faith formation of their kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt looked different in every one of those homes.\u00a0 Some of them it was a weekly breakfast out with Dad or out with Mom, with each kid on a rotation.\u00a0 Some of them it was family night activities where they\u2019re intentionally creating object-lesson-based fun, engaging activities in the home.\u00a0 Some of them it was a bedtime blessing process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>So it looked different in every one of those homes but there was something they did that was intentional, that was catalytic, that was routine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Steve, you talked about your parents and the camping and the hiking and the fun part.\u00a0 Was there an intentional side there too?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 We didn\u2019t do so much family devotionals.\u00a0 They took us to church and one of the questions Dad would always ask was \u201cwhat did you all talk about at church?\u201d\u00a0 He would let us talk and tell what we learned and he would ask us probing questions.\u00a0 Then he would talk about what their lesson was about.\u00a0 And he, of course, would put it in our language.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I also remember sitting around from time to time and Dad would say \u201clet\u2019s all come in the living room and just talk for a little bit.\u201d\u00a0 So we\u2019d all stop and all go in there.\u00a0 Dad would say, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on in your life, guys?\u00a0 There were three boys in my family.\u00a0 He would just say \u201cwhat\u2019s going on in your lives?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the best questions my dad would ever ask is \u201chow can I pray for you guys?\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ve taken that into my own life.\u00a0 Any time I\u2019m with anybody and I start to leave I ask \u201chow can I pray for you?\u201d\u00a0 I ask that of Christian brothers and they\u2019re always thrilled for me to have that question.\u00a0 But I\u2019ve asked it of folks who don\u2019t know the Lord.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never had anybody offended by that question.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow we have a family tradition where we keep a chalkboard above the table and on that chalkboard is the name of my two grown daughters, all four of the grandkids, the sons-in-law, and Marsha and I.\u00a0 And on there (everybody knows where the chalk is) you can go and you can put your current prayer request there.\u00a0 If you go to the homes of my daughters they have a chalkboard just like that there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know if anybody\u2019s thought about it but that all came back from Dad, when Dad used to ask \u201cboys, how can I be praying for you?\u201d\u00a0 Just that simple question opened up our lives to him and we were able to share in a little more vulnerable way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Maryann and I recently had some of our extended family, our kids, back in town.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost of the family was together and we all went to a movie together and then out to eat after the movie was over.\u00a0 As we sitting around at the table afterwards, one of my kids looked at his siblings and said \u201cSo, what was your spiritual highlight from the movie tonight?\u201d\u00a0 The kids all laughed.\u00a0\u00a0 Maryann said to me later \u201cThat kind of made me sad.\u00a0 They were mocking you.\u201d\u00a0 She was pointing to me.\u00a0 \u201cThey were mocking you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because you always used to\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because I\u2019m kind of known for talking about the spiritual highlights of stuff. There was one time when my daughter had brought home a young man who she was interested in.\u00a0 At the dinner table I said \u201cSo, share with me one of the spiritual highlights of your life.\u201d\u00a0 The kids were all \u201cDad\u2026 You don\u2019t ask the guy at the first dinner table that question.\u201d\u00a0 (laughing) \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo now it\u2019s become this \u201cDad\u2019s going to ask about somebody\u2019s spiritual highlight\u201d and Maryann said \u201cI was sad they were mocking.\u201d\u00a0 I reflected back on that and I thought some of that may have been sarcasm and mockery, but some of it was that that\u2019s sticking with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 The highest form of complement.\u00a0 The fact that it\u2019s a family joke means it means a lot to the family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 They\u2019re going to look back on that.\u00a0 I just did that the other day. We left a movie and went out to eat.\u00a0 I always do the same, I talk about it.\u00a0 I use movie nights as a spiritual formation tool.\u00a0 With the older boys and the \u201cahh, Dad, I don\u2019t want to have to think about it on this film.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYes, you\u2019re going to think about it.\u201d\u00a0 So it becomes a playful joke.\u00a0 But the joke is actually part of the joy.\u00a0 It\u2019s actually the ability to laugh at yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou notice that families that are troubled and broken\u2026 my wife, again, came from a family like this\u2026 you\u2019ll find that they have trouble laughing at themselves.\u00a0 They take themselves very seriously.\u00a0 I think a sign of a healthy family is that you\u2019re able to laugh with one another, at one another, in a playful and, of course, respectful way.\u00a0 But that\u2019s all part of that mix.\u00a0 Part of that secret recipe, isn\u2019t it, of joy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You mentioned earlier a family that kind of became adoptive grandparents to your kids.\u00a0 Have there been other families along the way that you and Olivia, looked at and said \u201cwe need to see what they\u2019re doing.\u00a0 We need to watch what they\u2019re doing,\u201d and you\u2019ve picked up habits from them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are and, in fact, I would say none of them realize that the habits we picked up were even habits in their own home.\u00a0 You step from the outside and you say \u201cthat\u2019s a neat thing.\u201d\u00a0 Little things.\u00a0 You probably heard of the whole mealtime where you do high low.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the high point of your day?\u00a0 What\u2019s the low point of your day?\u201d at mealtime.\u00a0 We just picked that up from one of these families.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t realize they were doing that or that it was having an impact.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when you\u2019re a younger family and, this is again how the church collectively can help younger families, let them see.\u00a0 Invite them over for dinner.\u00a0 Let them see how it plays out at your household.\u00a0 Maybe both of those parents came from a family where they never saw that in their home.\u00a0 They need a picture.\u00a0 So they\u2019re just sitting around the table doing high\/low.\u00a0 And what happens is each child says \u201chere was the high of my day, here was the low point of my day.\u201d They look forward to it and they do it every day.\u00a0 What happens is a whole dialogue can come out just from that little activity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 What\u2019s funny about that is that Kurt got that from another family.\u00a0 Well, Marsha, my wife, got that from Kurt\u2019s material and now she\u2019s doing that with our grandchildren.\u00a0 So here\u2019s a family out there who was doing it right.\u00a0 Kurt got an idea from them, did it in his own family, now we\u2019re doing it with our grandchildren.\u00a0\u00a0 I guarantee you our grandchildren will one day say to their kids when they tuck them into bed at night before they pray, \u201cTell me the high point of your day today. Tell me the low point.\u201d\u00a0 So it just gets passed on and we can share these things and learn from each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s one great example of a little thing you do that\u2019s feeding fun and enjoyment relationally.\u00a0 But it also leads into the intentionality of spiritual discussions.\u00a0 I can\u2019t tell you how many times something comes up, that occurred in their day, perhaps the low point of their day, that we would never have known about had we not been practicing that little routine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt surfaces an issue of \u201cOh, my goodness.\u00a0 We need to talk about that one.\u201d\u00a0 So it surfaces and it triggers and it prompts and it becomes catalytic for those formal conversations.\u00a0 It\u2019s just an informal routine we do for fun.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you one of the family traditions we got.\u00a0 We got it from someone else and I can\u2019t even remember who they are.\u00a0 But I remember someone telling me that on birthdays that they would all gather around and they would affirm whoever\u2019s birthday it was.\u00a0 We picked that up back when our kids where middle schoolers.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just started this habit of whenever someone has a birthday we would all go around and we would tell what we respected about them or what we valued.\u00a0 It\u2019s just something, again, that you see work in other families.\u00a0 You see the value that it brings to those families.\u00a0 And then you incorporate it into your family and it becomes a part of that family heritage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Relationship and intentionality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to make sure I\u2019m keeping that at the forefront.\u00a0 Build relationship and then be purposeful in terms of spiritual formation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you, you guys know I\u2019ve had a passion for years for things like family night activities, bedtime, mealtime.\u00a0 The reason is that\u2019s where the two of those converge.\u00a0 Instead of let\u2019s have a category of spiritual and discipleship discussions and another category of fun activities\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sacred and secular\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 How do we merge those together so the best and most enjoyable part of the week are activities that we are doing together that have an object lesson or some type of a spiritual theme?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was time for us to do allowance with our younger kids recently.\u00a0 Actually we did it both with our older kids when they were younger.\u00a0 We needed to talk to them about God\u2019s principles of money.\u00a0 One of our favorite activities was we went to the bank and pulled out a thousand one dollar bills.\u00a0 By the way, I found out you have to have it in there before they\u2019ll give it to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt became an issue.\u00a0 But we needed one thousand one dollar bills.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Details, details\u2026 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 So we\u2019re going to get a thousand one dollar bills.\u00a0 It\u2019s a story I heard from one guy so I\u2019m going to do that with my kids.\u00a0 We had a pile of a thousand one dollar bills and I put an envelope in the middle of this pile that said \u201cGod\u2019s Instructions for Money.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe start our family night activity.\u00a0 I say to the kids, \u201cThere\u2019s a treasure somewhere in the house.\u00a0 Go find it.\u201d\u00a0 They go running all over and Shaun, who at the time, I think, was about seven years old, finds the pile of money.\u00a0 One thousand one dollar bills is a lot of money for a seven year old kid.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s a lot of money for a 58-year-old pastor, but go ahead.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 He starts, he literally starts rolling around and throwing the money in the air.\u00a0 And he\u2019s says, \u201cWe\u2019re rich!\u00a0 We\u2019re rich!\u201d\u00a0 We can buy a house with a swimming pool.\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019s going ballistic.\u00a0 \u201cNow, we can spend the money on anything we want, guys, after we follow God\u2019s instructions for money.\u00a0 Step one.\u00a0 Let\u2019s count the money.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat took like 74 hours to count out a thousand ones.\u00a0 But they\u2019re having a blast counting the money.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe \u201cGod\u2019s Instructions for Money\u201d envelope had three principles.\u00a0 First, we\u2019re going to give.\u00a0 Second we\u2019re going to pay our bills.\u00a0 We listed out bills.\u00a0 And then, third, we\u2019re going to save.\u00a0 You can just imagine, as they\u2019re paying out the electrical bill, and the house payment, the color is draining from their faces.\u00a0 You know, we feel it every two weeks, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe color is draining from their faces and they\u2019re seeing this money go out.\u00a0 Finally, at the end, there was one dollar for each of them to spend on anything they want after following God\u2019s instructions for money.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, that activity was a blast.\u00a0 Our kids, our older two, are now 20 and 18, and they still tell stories of \u201cRemember when we did the money family night and we counted out the money?\u201d\u00a0 They helped us do it with the younger kids not too long ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, what\u2019s happening there?\u00a0 We\u2019re teaching them about money but we\u2019re doing it in a way that\u2019s fun and engaging and so there are the kinds of things you want to create.\u00a0 By the way, it\u2019s really important to rush the other $998 back to the bank the next day.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughs)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust a tip in case you\u2019re thinking about doing that activity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 To cover the checks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 \u2026that are coming in.\u00a0 You know, one of the things that you\u2019re illustrating there is not just having fun, but taking the Bible and practically breaking it into bite-sized pieces that those kids can understand and then begin to digest.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the thing that I found as we raised our kids.\u00a0 You can\u2019t expect them to get it one hundred percent of the time and many times you just need to anticipate that you\u2019re going to run into all kinds of static.\u00a0 I mean we had family times at the dinner table and they\u2019d be shooting peas across the table.\u00a0 They\u2019d be spilling apple juice all over the floor.\u00a0 It\u2019s never going the way you imagine it to go in your mind.\u00a0 You have to really develop a sense of humor and be extremely flexible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 My wife says\u2026 You know we try and make mealtime a priority.\u00a0 She says you have to anticipate at least one sacrifice to the \u201cspill god\u201d at every meal.\u00a0 Don\u2019t sweat it.\u00a0 Just wipe it up and move on.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let it ruin your meal.\u00a0 But, yeah, you have to go with the flow and enjoy it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have one family at our church that when we kicked out our initial campaign said \u201cHey, I\u2019m going to try family nights!\u201d\u00a0 So this dad said, \u201dAlright.\u00a0 Here we go.\u201d\u00a0 He did the first activity and it ended up with their son in tears because it didn\u2019t go right.\u00a0 Sometimes these things are awkward.\u00a0 It was funny though.\u00a0 They reflected that evening.\u00a0 The wife said. \u201cThat was a disaster but we\u2019re doing it again.\u00a0 And we\u2019re going to keep doing it because it\u2019s very, very important.\u201d\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to have some blow ups.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to have some failures.\u00a0 Just keep doing it because over time it\u2019s little by little by little.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Steve, you talk in the book about this whole concept of being intentional in relationships as playing the odds.\u00a0 That\u2019s kind of the framework you put around it.\u00a0 Let\u2019s be honest.\u00a0 You can do what we\u2019ve talked about.\u00a0 You can be relational and intentional and do it all and have a 17 year old, an 18 year old, a 22 year old who says \u201cI\u2019m out of here.\u00a0 I\u2019m not bought in on this and I\u2019m pursuing something else.\u201d\u00a0 The father in Luke 15 had a son like that, didn\u2019t he?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, he really did.\u00a0 The great thing was that when the young man found himself in the pigsty, and the keys words are \u201che came to himself\u201d he knew where to go.\u00a0 He had a place to go.\u00a0 I really think it\u2019s important that we give our children the best opportunity to have a relationship with God and to grow Christlike character.\u00a0 That\u2019s our job, to give them the best opportunity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut they are responsible for their own choices and we can\u2019t take that guilt.\u00a0 Satan would love for us to take that guilt upon ourselves and to try to punish ourselves.\u00a0 What I think what we can do is we can be faithful.\u00a0 We can give our kids the best opportunity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can also give them a place to come back to when they come to themselves and know that there is a loving father, a loving mother, who never stopped loving them, by the way.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t enable them.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t agree with all their choices.\u00a0 And stated it at least once.\u00a0 But still loves them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re there to help them do the right thing.\u00a0 They will not be there to help them do the wrong thing.\u00a0 And that\u2019s our responsibility as parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s why we call it playing the odds.\u00a0 There are no guarantees.\u00a0 There are no guarantees.\u00a0 Proverbs 22 is not a guarantee that your children will embrace what you believe.\u00a0 But in the context of healthy relationships odds are in your favor because children tend to want to embrace your beliefs and values.\u00a0 So make the relationship a top priority.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s not miss the obvious here.\u00a0 It\u2019s about time, friends.\u00a0 It\u2019s about making time to do relationships.\u00a0 Sometimes that means not entertaining your kids.\u00a0 We look at vacations and we look at activities for the family and we think we have to bribe and entertain our kids all the time.\u00a0 I think our kids really desire to spend time with us, just to spend time doing life together.\u00a0 Make sure that we\u2019re not always glued to a video screen or letting someone perform for the family.\u00a0 Just make time to go spend some time where you\u2019re forced to talk.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know one of the things that Marsha and I do is we take, every chance we get, every evening that I\u2019m home, we take a walk after dinner.\u00a0 One of the reasons we walk after dinner is because there\u2019s not something for us to do.\u00a0 There\u2019s not a television to watch.\u00a0 There\u2019s not a chore to do.\u00a0 There\u2019s not even a book to read.\u00a0 There\u2019s certainly not a phone to interrupt us.\u00a0 And, you know, it\u2019s amazing.\u00a0 About twenty minutes into a walk you begin to talk about things that you would never talk about if you had an activity going.\u00a0 That\u2019s purposeful.\u00a0 We need that time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we need that time with our kids too, where we can get out and begin to talk about things that we would never talk about if we had some kind of project going.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I sure appreciate your guys pointing us in the direction of relationships and building friendships and heart to heart connections with our children and our grandchildren and secondly, being intentional.\u00a0 Just do something.\u00a0 No family does it all.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s real easy to listen to a broadcast like this and to suffer an inferiority complex thinking \u201cOh, my goodness.\u00a0 Listen to what Kurt and Olivia do in their family.\u00a0 And then there\u2019s Steve and Marsha and their family.\u00a0 We\u2019ve not done that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, you know what?\u00a0 Make today and this week the first week of making relationships much more of a priority, having fun.\u00a0 And then secondly, beginning to make some memories and being intentional about passing on the truth of God\u2019s Word and the truth about Him to your children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGuys, I just appreciate the model you guys both are individually and in your own marriages and families.\u00a0 But also, there at Lake Pointe in Rockwall, Texas, of standing strong as a church trying to show other churches, as well as make it happen in your own backyard, of how the church really is the most powerful unit for helping the family in existence today.\u00a0 I just appreciate you and hope you\u2019ll come back and visit as again sometime.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve and Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for letting us be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s great too that you guys have taken what you\u2019re doing at the church and how you\u2019re connecting with your families and put that in book form with the book <em>It Starts at Home<\/em>.\u00a0 Of course, we\u2019ve got that in our FamilyLife Today resource center.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a link online to the Drive Faith Home website where churches can learn more about how you can launch an initiative in your church to connect families and churches together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we\u2019ve got information as well about the resource that Kurt and Olivia created along with us here at FamilyLife called <em>Just Add Family<\/em>, recipe cards for Family Devotions.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve been kind of slack in that this year and, as you head toward the new year, you think \u201cWe\u2019re going to do a better job at that,\u201d get a tool like this.\u00a0 I love the fact that you can just go over, open the recipe box, pull out one of these devotions, and in about ten minutes you\u2019re ready to go with something your family can do together tonight that will stimulate some spiritual conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, again, all the information about the book, the website, the <em>Just Add Family<\/em> resource can be found online at our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 That\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com or call us toll-free 1-800-FLTODAY, I-800-358-6329, that's 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow tomorrow we\u2019re going to hear the first part of a message from author Gary Thomas about thankfulness, about recognizing the goodness of God in our lives and giving thanks for it.\u00a0 It\u2019s an appropriate day to do that tomorrow as we celebrate Thanksgiving Day here in the United States.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in and be with us for part of your Thanksgiving Day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2010 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.05M"],"filesize_raw":["27319995"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302163.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302163.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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keeps their bones strong. But what are you doing to keep their faith strong?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-11-24.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you want to have meaningful conversations with your son or your daughter around issues of life, about God, about stuff that really matters, Pastor Steve Stroope says you need to make sure you allow plenty of time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 We look at vacations.\u00a0 We look at activities for the family and we think we have to bribe and entertain our kids all the time.\u00a0 I think our kids really desire to spend time with us, just to spend time doing life together.\u00a0 Just make time to get out and begin to talk about things that we would never talk about if we had some kind of project going.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, November 24<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about the important role we play as moms and dads in evangelizing and discipling our own children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 As you were raising your kids, other than your mom and dad, did you have a model, other couples or other families who you looked at and you said \u201cwe need to follow what they are doing?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had a couple of them.\u00a0 Don and Sally Meredith were one and they discipled me at the University of Arkansas as a student.\u00a0 I had another one in Dr. Howard Hendricks and his wife Jeanne, who I studied under at Dallas Theological Seminary.\u00a0 I had some pretty powerful models.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m going to say yes, you pulled out the big guns here.\u00a0 I was just thinking of some family down the street that was maybe doing it right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just telling you\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Who lives down the street from you, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026that\u2019s who influenced my life.\u00a0 I think we underestimate the power that a model can be and you don\u2019t have to be Professor of Christian Education at Dallas Theological Seminary to influence somebody\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In fact, I\u2019ve got some friends of mine who just recently got together on a Tuesday night with a younger couple in their church.\u00a0 This younger couple had come to them and said. \u201cWe\u2019ve been married for a couple of years, we don\u2019t have any kids, we\u2019re doing okay, but we\u2019d just like to hang out.\u00a0 We\u2019d just like to learn from you.\u201d\u00a0 So they\u2019re going to get together, I don\u2019t know, every month or so\u2026<br><br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 \u2026and just spend an evening together and talk about whatever they want to talk about.\u00a0 I thought that\u2019s healthy for anybody, to have that kind of relationship with somebody who\u2019s maybe a few laps down the road from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t agree more, Bob.\u00a0 We have with us in the studio a couple of chefs who\u2026\u00a0 You know how the Colonel had his secret herbs and spices at Kentucky Fried Chicken\u2026?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Most of our listeners don\u2019t remember, because that was in the marketing campaign from about thirty years ago.\u00a0 But I remember it myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 Thank you so much.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Kurt Bruner and Steve Stroope join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 You gentlemen work together at a little church down in Rockwall, Texas, 11,000 members, Lake Pointe.\u00a0 You have been in ministry Steve, for thirty years, and Kurt, how many years for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 In pastoral ministry, about four and prior to that I was at <em>Focus on the Family<\/em> for about twenty years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Together you\u2019ve come up with a book called <em>It Starts at Home <\/em>and it\u2019s talking about how a church can really have the DNA of building families and equipping their families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How you can cook that up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s it exactly, exactly right.\u00a0 You guys have got a couple of herbs and spices that you say are the secrets to ultimately being a successful parent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And these herbs and spices came from your own observation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, they did.\u00a0 For Olivia and me, when we were young parents, we looked\u2026.\u00a0 Keep in mind that she came from a very troubled home.\u00a0 I came from a Christian family and one of my heroes is my dad and, of course, my mom.\u00a0 My dad, in particular, as he laid down his life regularly for his family, worked two jobs because he had seven kids to feed and so forth.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I wouldn\u2019t say we were in a home that had the kinds of ideas that our generation has in terms of how to be intentional about the faith.\u00a0 So family devotions were a boring thing in our family, sitting there with the giant family Bible once a year because the preacher said you\u2019re supposed to do this and Mom nudged Dad, Dad felt guilty, and he pulls out the Bible and we\u2019d rather be at the dentist than having family devotions.\u00a0 So it wasn\u2019t a model that I looked at and said that\u2019s what I want to do with my kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to ask Steve that.\u00a0 What kind of home did you grow up in?\u00a0 Did you have the big Bible opened at your house like he\u2019s talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 The thing is that the two finest Christians, Dennis, that I\u2019ve even known in my entire life were my mom and dad.\u00a0 That\u2019s one of the great blessings that God gave me.\u00a0 I know that everybody doesn\u2019t have that model but most of my parenting I learned from my mom and dad.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t have the resources that we have today but I think they were led by God\u2019s spirit to know that it was more about relationships than it was about content.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just remember going on camping trips with my parents.\u00a0 They couldn\u2019t afford to take us to Disneyland or some of these other places.\u00a0 I\u2019m grateful for that because we just spent time together, fishing together, hiking together, cooking together, and they just lived out their faith in front of us.\u00a0 So they were the model for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 You talk about the two ingredients.\u00a0 That is a foundational ingredient right there and it\u2019s simply relationship.\u00a0 Another way of putting it is laughing together, spending time together, and enjoying one another\u2019s company.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we were young parents we started interviewing some of these couples that had older kids.\u00a0 Ours\u2019 were really young.\u00a0 They had older kids and we\u2019d look at them and we\u2019d say they have a good relationship with their kids, nothing perfect.\u00a0 They enjoy being together.\u00a0 They still want to talk to their parents, you know, even though they\u2019re 17, 18, 20, whatever it may be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe looked at those families and we said we wanted to find out what they did so that we can do that.\u00a0 And it came down to what we call two secret sauce ingredients.\u00a0 The first one was relationship.\u00a0 It was just that they enjoy one another\u2019s company. The second thing is they all did something to be intentional in terms of the faith formation of their kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt looked different in every one of those homes.\u00a0 Some of them it was a weekly breakfast out with Dad or out with Mom, with each kid on a rotation.\u00a0 Some of them it was family night activities where they\u2019re intentionally creating object-lesson-based fun, engaging activities in the home.\u00a0 Some of them it was a bedtime blessing process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>So it looked different in every one of those homes but there was something they did that was intentional, that was catalytic, that was routine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Steve, you talked about your parents and the camping and the hiking and the fun part.\u00a0 Was there an intentional side there too?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 We didn\u2019t do so much family devotionals.\u00a0 They took us to church and one of the questions Dad would always ask was \u201cwhat did you all talk about at church?\u201d\u00a0 He would let us talk and tell what we learned and he would ask us probing questions.\u00a0 Then he would talk about what their lesson was about.\u00a0 And he, of course, would put it in our language.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen I also remember sitting around from time to time and Dad would say \u201clet\u2019s all come in the living room and just talk for a little bit.\u201d\u00a0 So we\u2019d all stop and all go in there.\u00a0 Dad would say, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on in your life, guys?\u00a0 There were three boys in my family.\u00a0 He would just say \u201cwhat\u2019s going on in your lives?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the best questions my dad would ever ask is \u201chow can I pray for you guys?\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ve taken that into my own life.\u00a0 Any time I\u2019m with anybody and I start to leave I ask \u201chow can I pray for you?\u201d\u00a0 I ask that of Christian brothers and they\u2019re always thrilled for me to have that question.\u00a0 But I\u2019ve asked it of folks who don\u2019t know the Lord.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never had anybody offended by that question.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow we have a family tradition where we keep a chalkboard above the table and on that chalkboard is the name of my two grown daughters, all four of the grandkids, the sons-in-law, and Marsha and I.\u00a0 And on there (everybody knows where the chalk is) you can go and you can put your current prayer request there.\u00a0 If you go to the homes of my daughters they have a chalkboard just like that there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t know if anybody\u2019s thought about it but that all came back from Dad, when Dad used to ask \u201cboys, how can I be praying for you?\u201d\u00a0 Just that simple question opened up our lives to him and we were able to share in a little more vulnerable way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Maryann and I recently had some of our extended family, our kids, back in town.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost of the family was together and we all went to a movie together and then out to eat after the movie was over.\u00a0 As we sitting around at the table afterwards, one of my kids looked at his siblings and said \u201cSo, what was your spiritual highlight from the movie tonight?\u201d\u00a0 The kids all laughed.\u00a0\u00a0 Maryann said to me later \u201cThat kind of made me sad.\u00a0 They were mocking you.\u201d\u00a0 She was pointing to me.\u00a0 \u201cThey were mocking you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because you always used to\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because I\u2019m kind of known for talking about the spiritual highlights of stuff. There was one time when my daughter had brought home a young man who she was interested in.\u00a0 At the dinner table I said \u201cSo, share with me one of the spiritual highlights of your life.\u201d\u00a0 The kids were all \u201cDad\u2026 You don\u2019t ask the guy at the first dinner table that question.\u201d\u00a0 (laughing) \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo now it\u2019s become this \u201cDad\u2019s going to ask about somebody\u2019s spiritual highlight\u201d and Maryann said \u201cI was sad they were mocking.\u201d\u00a0 I reflected back on that and I thought some of that may have been sarcasm and mockery, but some of it was that that\u2019s sticking with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 The highest form of complement.\u00a0 The fact that it\u2019s a family joke means it means a lot to the family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 They\u2019re going to look back on that.\u00a0 I just did that the other day. We left a movie and went out to eat.\u00a0 I always do the same, I talk about it.\u00a0 I use movie nights as a spiritual formation tool.\u00a0 With the older boys and the \u201cahh, Dad, I don\u2019t want to have to think about it on this film.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYes, you\u2019re going to think about it.\u201d\u00a0 So it becomes a playful joke.\u00a0 But the joke is actually part of the joy.\u00a0 It\u2019s actually the ability to laugh at yourself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou notice that families that are troubled and broken\u2026 my wife, again, came from a family like this\u2026 you\u2019ll find that they have trouble laughing at themselves.\u00a0 They take themselves very seriously.\u00a0 I think a sign of a healthy family is that you\u2019re able to laugh with one another, at one another, in a playful and, of course, respectful way.\u00a0 But that\u2019s all part of that mix.\u00a0 Part of that secret recipe, isn\u2019t it, of joy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You mentioned earlier a family that kind of became adoptive grandparents to your kids.\u00a0 Have there been other families along the way that you and Olivia, looked at and said \u201cwe need to see what they\u2019re doing.\u00a0 We need to watch what they\u2019re doing,\u201d and you\u2019ve picked up habits from them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are and, in fact, I would say none of them realize that the habits we picked up were even habits in their own home.\u00a0 You step from the outside and you say \u201cthat\u2019s a neat thing.\u201d\u00a0 Little things.\u00a0 You probably heard of the whole mealtime where you do high low.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the high point of your day?\u00a0 What\u2019s the low point of your day?\u201d at mealtime.\u00a0 We just picked that up from one of these families.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t realize they were doing that or that it was having an impact.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when you\u2019re a younger family and, this is again how the church collectively can help younger families, let them see.\u00a0 Invite them over for dinner.\u00a0 Let them see how it plays out at your household.\u00a0 Maybe both of those parents came from a family where they never saw that in their home.\u00a0 They need a picture.\u00a0 So they\u2019re just sitting around the table doing high\/low.\u00a0 And what happens is each child says \u201chere was the high of my day, here was the low point of my day.\u201d They look forward to it and they do it every day.\u00a0 What happens is a whole dialogue can come out just from that little activity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 What\u2019s funny about that is that Kurt got that from another family.\u00a0 Well, Marsha, my wife, got that from Kurt\u2019s material and now she\u2019s doing that with our grandchildren.\u00a0 So here\u2019s a family out there who was doing it right.\u00a0 Kurt got an idea from them, did it in his own family, now we\u2019re doing it with our grandchildren.\u00a0\u00a0 I guarantee you our grandchildren will one day say to their kids when they tuck them into bed at night before they pray, \u201cTell me the high point of your day today. Tell me the low point.\u201d\u00a0 So it just gets passed on and we can share these things and learn from each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s one great example of a little thing you do that\u2019s feeding fun and enjoyment relationally.\u00a0 But it also leads into the intentionality of spiritual discussions.\u00a0 I can\u2019t tell you how many times something comes up, that occurred in their day, perhaps the low point of their day, that we would never have known about had we not been practicing that little routine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt surfaces an issue of \u201cOh, my goodness.\u00a0 We need to talk about that one.\u201d\u00a0 So it surfaces and it triggers and it prompts and it becomes catalytic for those formal conversations.\u00a0 It\u2019s just an informal routine we do for fun.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you one of the family traditions we got.\u00a0 We got it from someone else and I can\u2019t even remember who they are.\u00a0 But I remember someone telling me that on birthdays that they would all gather around and they would affirm whoever\u2019s birthday it was.\u00a0 We picked that up back when our kids where middle schoolers.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe just started this habit of whenever someone has a birthday we would all go around and we would tell what we respected about them or what we valued.\u00a0 It\u2019s just something, again, that you see work in other families.\u00a0 You see the value that it brings to those families.\u00a0 And then you incorporate it into your family and it becomes a part of that family heritage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Relationship and intentionality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to make sure I\u2019m keeping that at the forefront.\u00a0 Build relationship and then be purposeful in terms of spiritual formation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you, you guys know I\u2019ve had a passion for years for things like family night activities, bedtime, mealtime.\u00a0 The reason is that\u2019s where the two of those converge.\u00a0 Instead of let\u2019s have a category of spiritual and discipleship discussions and another category of fun activities\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sacred and secular\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 How do we merge those together so the best and most enjoyable part of the week are activities that we are doing together that have an object lesson or some type of a spiritual theme?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was time for us to do allowance with our younger kids recently.\u00a0 Actually we did it both with our older kids when they were younger.\u00a0 We needed to talk to them about God\u2019s principles of money.\u00a0 One of our favorite activities was we went to the bank and pulled out a thousand one dollar bills.\u00a0 By the way, I found out you have to have it in there before they\u2019ll give it to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt became an issue.\u00a0 But we needed one thousand one dollar bills.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Details, details\u2026 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 So we\u2019re going to get a thousand one dollar bills.\u00a0 It\u2019s a story I heard from one guy so I\u2019m going to do that with my kids.\u00a0 We had a pile of a thousand one dollar bills and I put an envelope in the middle of this pile that said \u201cGod\u2019s Instructions for Money.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe start our family night activity.\u00a0 I say to the kids, \u201cThere\u2019s a treasure somewhere in the house.\u00a0 Go find it.\u201d\u00a0 They go running all over and Shaun, who at the time, I think, was about seven years old, finds the pile of money.\u00a0 One thousand one dollar bills is a lot of money for a seven year old kid.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s a lot of money for a 58-year-old pastor, but go ahead.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 He starts, he literally starts rolling around and throwing the money in the air.\u00a0 And he\u2019s says, \u201cWe\u2019re rich!\u00a0 We\u2019re rich!\u201d\u00a0 We can buy a house with a swimming pool.\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019s going ballistic.\u00a0 \u201cNow, we can spend the money on anything we want, guys, after we follow God\u2019s instructions for money.\u00a0 Step one.\u00a0 Let\u2019s count the money.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat took like 74 hours to count out a thousand ones.\u00a0 But they\u2019re having a blast counting the money.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe \u201cGod\u2019s Instructions for Money\u201d envelope had three principles.\u00a0 First, we\u2019re going to give.\u00a0 Second we\u2019re going to pay our bills.\u00a0 We listed out bills.\u00a0 And then, third, we\u2019re going to save.\u00a0 You can just imagine, as they\u2019re paying out the electrical bill, and the house payment, the color is draining from their faces.\u00a0 You know, we feel it every two weeks, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe color is draining from their faces and they\u2019re seeing this money go out.\u00a0 Finally, at the end, there was one dollar for each of them to spend on anything they want after following God\u2019s instructions for money.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, that activity was a blast.\u00a0 Our kids, our older two, are now 20 and 18, and they still tell stories of \u201cRemember when we did the money family night and we counted out the money?\u201d\u00a0 They helped us do it with the younger kids not too long ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, what\u2019s happening there?\u00a0 We\u2019re teaching them about money but we\u2019re doing it in a way that\u2019s fun and engaging and so there are the kinds of things you want to create.\u00a0 By the way, it\u2019s really important to rush the other $998 back to the bank the next day.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughs)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust a tip in case you\u2019re thinking about doing that activity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 To cover the checks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 \u2026that are coming in.\u00a0 You know, one of the things that you\u2019re illustrating there is not just having fun, but taking the Bible and practically breaking it into bite-sized pieces that those kids can understand and then begin to digest.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the thing that I found as we raised our kids.\u00a0 You can\u2019t expect them to get it one hundred percent of the time and many times you just need to anticipate that you\u2019re going to run into all kinds of static.\u00a0 I mean we had family times at the dinner table and they\u2019d be shooting peas across the table.\u00a0 They\u2019d be spilling apple juice all over the floor.\u00a0 It\u2019s never going the way you imagine it to go in your mind.\u00a0 You have to really develop a sense of humor and be extremely flexible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 My wife says\u2026 You know we try and make mealtime a priority.\u00a0 She says you have to anticipate at least one sacrifice to the \u201cspill god\u201d at every meal.\u00a0 Don\u2019t sweat it.\u00a0 Just wipe it up and move on.\u00a0 Don\u2019t let it ruin your meal.\u00a0 But, yeah, you have to go with the flow and enjoy it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have one family at our church that when we kicked out our initial campaign said \u201cHey, I\u2019m going to try family nights!\u201d\u00a0 So this dad said, \u201dAlright.\u00a0 Here we go.\u201d\u00a0 He did the first activity and it ended up with their son in tears because it didn\u2019t go right.\u00a0 Sometimes these things are awkward.\u00a0 It was funny though.\u00a0 They reflected that evening.\u00a0 The wife said. \u201cThat was a disaster but we\u2019re doing it again.\u00a0 And we\u2019re going to keep doing it because it\u2019s very, very important.\u201d\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to have some blow ups.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to have some failures.\u00a0 Just keep doing it because over time it\u2019s little by little by little.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Steve, you talk in the book about this whole concept of being intentional in relationships as playing the odds.\u00a0 That\u2019s kind of the framework you put around it.\u00a0 Let\u2019s be honest.\u00a0 You can do what we\u2019ve talked about.\u00a0 You can be relational and intentional and do it all and have a 17 year old, an 18 year old, a 22 year old who says \u201cI\u2019m out of here.\u00a0 I\u2019m not bought in on this and I\u2019m pursuing something else.\u201d\u00a0 The father in Luke 15 had a son like that, didn\u2019t he?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, he really did.\u00a0 The great thing was that when the young man found himself in the pigsty, and the keys words are \u201che came to himself\u201d he knew where to go.\u00a0 He had a place to go.\u00a0 I really think it\u2019s important that we give our children the best opportunity to have a relationship with God and to grow Christlike character.\u00a0 That\u2019s our job, to give them the best opportunity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut they are responsible for their own choices and we can\u2019t take that guilt.\u00a0 Satan would love for us to take that guilt upon ourselves and to try to punish ourselves.\u00a0 What I think what we can do is we can be faithful.\u00a0 We can give our kids the best opportunity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can also give them a place to come back to when they come to themselves and know that there is a loving father, a loving mother, who never stopped loving them, by the way.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t enable them.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t agree with all their choices.\u00a0 And stated it at least once.\u00a0 But still loves them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re there to help them do the right thing.\u00a0 They will not be there to help them do the wrong thing.\u00a0 And that\u2019s our responsibility as parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s why we call it playing the odds.\u00a0 There are no guarantees.\u00a0 There are no guarantees.\u00a0 Proverbs 22 is not a guarantee that your children will embrace what you believe.\u00a0 But in the context of healthy relationships odds are in your favor because children tend to want to embrace your beliefs and values.\u00a0 So make the relationship a top priority.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s not miss the obvious here.\u00a0 It\u2019s about time, friends.\u00a0 It\u2019s about making time to do relationships.\u00a0 Sometimes that means not entertaining your kids.\u00a0 We look at vacations and we look at activities for the family and we think we have to bribe and entertain our kids all the time.\u00a0 I think our kids really desire to spend time with us, just to spend time doing life together.\u00a0 Make sure that we\u2019re not always glued to a video screen or letting someone perform for the family.\u00a0 Just make time to go spend some time where you\u2019re forced to talk.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know one of the things that Marsha and I do is we take, every chance we get, every evening that I\u2019m home, we take a walk after dinner.\u00a0 One of the reasons we walk after dinner is because there\u2019s not something for us to do.\u00a0 There\u2019s not a television to watch.\u00a0 There\u2019s not a chore to do.\u00a0 There\u2019s not even a book to read.\u00a0 There\u2019s certainly not a phone to interrupt us.\u00a0 And, you know, it\u2019s amazing.\u00a0 About twenty minutes into a walk you begin to talk about things that you would never talk about if you had an activity going.\u00a0 That\u2019s purposeful.\u00a0 We need that time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we need that time with our kids too, where we can get out and begin to talk about things that we would never talk about if we had some kind of project going.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I sure appreciate your guys pointing us in the direction of relationships and building friendships and heart to heart connections with our children and our grandchildren and secondly, being intentional.\u00a0 Just do something.\u00a0 No family does it all.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s real easy to listen to a broadcast like this and to suffer an inferiority complex thinking \u201cOh, my goodness.\u00a0 Listen to what Kurt and Olivia do in their family.\u00a0 And then there\u2019s Steve and Marsha and their family.\u00a0 We\u2019ve not done that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, you know what?\u00a0 Make today and this week the first week of making relationships much more of a priority, having fun.\u00a0 And then secondly, beginning to make some memories and being intentional about passing on the truth of God\u2019s Word and the truth about Him to your children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGuys, I just appreciate the model you guys both are individually and in your own marriages and families.\u00a0 But also, there at Lake Pointe in Rockwall, Texas, of standing strong as a church trying to show other churches, as well as make it happen in your own backyard, of how the church really is the most powerful unit for helping the family in existence today.\u00a0 I just appreciate you and hope you\u2019ll come back and visit as again sometime.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve and Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for letting us be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s great too that you guys have taken what you\u2019re doing at the church and how you\u2019re connecting with your families and put that in book form with the book <em>It Starts at Home<\/em>.\u00a0 Of course, we\u2019ve got that in our FamilyLife Today resource center.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a link online to the Drive Faith Home website where churches can learn more about how you can launch an initiative in your church to connect families and churches together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we\u2019ve got information as well about the resource that Kurt and Olivia created along with us here at FamilyLife called <em>Just Add Family<\/em>, recipe cards for Family Devotions.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve been kind of slack in that this year and, as you head toward the new year, you think \u201cWe\u2019re going to do a better job at that,\u201d get a tool like this.\u00a0 I love the fact that you can just go over, open the recipe box, pull out one of these devotions, and in about ten minutes you\u2019re ready to go with something your family can do together tonight that will stimulate some spiritual conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, again, all the information about the book, the website, the <em>Just Add Family<\/em> resource can be found online at our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 That\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com or call us toll-free 1-800-FLTODAY, I-800-358-6329, that's 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow tomorrow we\u2019re going to hear the first part of a message from author Gary Thomas about thankfulness, about recognizing the goodness of God in our lives and giving thanks for it.\u00a0 It\u2019s an appropriate day to do that tomorrow as we celebrate Thanksgiving Day here in the United States.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in and be with us for part of your Thanksgiving Day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2010 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302163","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302163"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302163"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302163"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302163"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302163"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302163"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302163"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}