{"id":302162,"date":"2010-11-23T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-11-23T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/baby-steps-to-becoming-intentional\/"},"modified":"2010-11-23T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-11-23T17:00:00","slug":"baby-steps-to-becoming-intentional","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/baby-steps-to-becoming-intentional\/","title":{"rendered":"Baby Steps to Becoming Intentional"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Research shows that young adults are leaving the church in droves.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-11-23.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.26M","filesize_raw":"27538086","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2806],"tags":[4722,4983,4798,2706],"podcast_series":[7769],"cwp_profile":[3107,9217],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302162","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritual-development","tag-christianity","tag-family-devotions","tag-kids","tag-spiritual-growth","podcast_series-it-starts-at-home","cwp_profile-kurt-bruner","cwp_profile-steve-stroope","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302162\/baby-steps-to-becoming-intentional","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302162\/baby-steps-to-becoming-intentional","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"DzD0FmQU4h\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/baby-steps-to-becoming-intentional\/\">Baby Steps to Becoming Intentional<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/baby-steps-to-becoming-intentional\/embed\/#?secret=DzD0FmQU4h\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Baby Steps to Becoming Intentional&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"DzD0FmQU4h\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-11-23.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-11-23.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 It is almost 50 years ago that Bob Dylan wrote what became an anthem for his generation:\u00a0 <em>The Times They Are A-Changin\u2019.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Music:\u00a0 <em>Come gather\u2019round people<\/em><br>\u00a0<em>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>Wherever you roam<\/em><br>\u00a0<em>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>And admit that the waters<\/em><br><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>Around you have grown<\/em><br><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>And accept it that soon<\/em><br><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>You\u2019ll be drenched to the bone<\/em><br><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>If your time to you is worth savin\u2019<\/em><br><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>Then you better start swimmin\u2019 or you\u2019ll sink like a stone<\/em><br><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>For the times they are a-changin\u2019<\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAccording to Kurt Bruner:\u00a0 When it comes to passing on faith to the next generation\u2014 \u201cthe times they are a-changin\u2019.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Perhaps for the first time in church history\u2014think about this\u2014for the first time in church history, those most likely to embrace Christian faith are by and large rejecting it\u2014our own children who are being raised in the church.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomething is happening here, and I believe it has to do with we are swimming in dramatically different water.\u00a0 The things that were fine and would work 20, 30, 40 years ago, are not enough anymore.\u00a0 We have to be more intentional than ever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Music:\u00a0 <em>For the loser now will be later to win<\/em><br>\u00a0<em>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>For the times they are a-changin\u2019<\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, November 23<sup>rd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey; and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 When it comes to passing on faith to the next generation, how can we as parents be like the men of Issachar who understood the times and knew how to respond?\u00a0 We will talk about that today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today; <\/em>thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think there is a parent listening today who is going, \u201cOh, I am not really all that interested in what you guys have to talk about today.\u00a0 You know, this is kind of one of those secondary subjects.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u201cI don\u2019t want to know how to teach my child about God, how to disciple my daughter, how to help my son grow up and make his way through a culture without being overtaken by evil.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong><strong>\u201c<\/strong>If they are walking with Christ when they hit 20, I\u2019m good with that; but it is not really a big deal to me.\u201d\u00a0 Do you think there is anybody who is feeling that way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No. No.\u00a0 In fact, if anything, I think the urgency is increasing among parents today who are feeling like, \u201cHow can I get this done?\u201d because they turn on the TV, they turn on the radio, they listen to the type of entertainment that is coming to them over the internet.\u00a0 It is getting louder and louder.\u00a0 The white noise of the culture is drowning out parents and their attempts to teach their children about Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a couple of guys who have collaborated together to write a book, <em>It Starts at Home<\/em>:\u00a0 <em>A Practical Guide to Nurturing Lifelong Faith<\/em>.\u00a0 Kurt Bruner and Steve Stroope join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Steve, Kurt, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve &amp; Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you.\u00a0 Great to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You guys\u2014You help lead a pretty good-sized little Texas church down there\u2014about 11,000 people attend there.\u00a0 Family is central to what you are doing there in that church.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow have you come to this conclusion, Steve?\u00a0 Has it come about through counseling and picking up the debris and performing triage on couple after couple and families with just what is happening in the culture today?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Like a lot of churches in America, we have a lot of families.\u00a0 In fact, we have three babies born per week in our fellowship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So it is something\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is a good way to grow a church!\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is a good way to grow a church, but we have been concerned as we have seen the same statistics that everyone has seen that about half of the kids who are growing up in a church in America today seem to be walking away.\u00a0 We started asking the question, \u201cAre we contributing to that problem?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo the extent that we have allowed our parents to think that it is the job of the church to disciple their kids we are guilty of creating some of that.\u00a0 What we really did, Dennis, we came to our people.\u00a0 We said out loud, \u201cGuys, it is not our job to disciple your kids.\u00a0 It is your job.\u00a0 You can\u2019t outsource that like you do the lawn or like you do cleaning.\u00a0 We are here to help you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Now immediately they said, \u201cThank you for pointing that out,\u201d didn\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know what, it is interesting.\u00a0 You would think they would say, \u201cHow dare you tell me that I am going to do all this work.\u201d\u00a0 They were thrilled when we not only said, \u201cIt is your job,\u201d but we said, \u201cWe will help you do your job.\u201d\u00a0 Really, that is the attempt of the book\u2014to give some resources to parents to help them as they disciple their own children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the church of Jesus Christ, is also responsible in every single community to make that declaration.\u00a0 \u201cParents, it is your job; but we will stand with you.\u00a0 We will help you do that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are some great resources out there for churches.\u00a0 Your organization, Dennis, has done such a great job of providing resources that churches can then turn around and put in the hands of these parents and say, \u201cYes, you can.\u00a0 We are going to help you, but you can do this job with God\u2019s help.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What I hear you guys saying is that moms and dads aren\u2019t saying, \u201cWe are not interested.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, goodness, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But they are saying, \u201cWe are not sure we are competent.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong><strong>\u201c<\/strong>We are not confident or\u2014competent or confident.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure I know how to do what you are describing needs to be done.\u201d\u00a0 Steve has said often, \u201cThey look at the youth ministries and the children\u2019s ministries.\u201d\u00a0 In fact, we are convinced that the problem is not what is or isn\u2019t happening at the church.\u00a0 The problem is what desperately needs to happen in the home.\u00a0 Why we say that:\u00a0 If you think about\u2014Bob, Dennis, did you have flannel graph when you were kids in Sunday school? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I remember flannel graph.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Flannel graph was cutting-edge technology at the time, right?\u00a0 That was state-of-the-art teaching children the faith.\u00a0 I had the same experience growing up.\u00a0 Look at the children ministries today and the student ministries today compared to what we had growing up.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe church is doing an outstanding job trying to be as creative as possible to declare the words of Scripture to our children.\u00a0 The problem is those children don\u2019t seem to want what it is we are describing.\u00a0 That is an issue that is rooted, we believe, in the home and what is happening or not happening in the home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBacking up\u2014to put on the lenses of the typical family like us who is attending a church\u2014We say, \u201cOkay, pastor.\u00a0 You say it is my job.\u00a0 Let\u2019s back this thing up a little bit.\u00a0 Steve, you had as a value statement at the church for 30 years a statement that said, \u2018The home is the primary context for spiritual formation.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong><strong>\u201c<\/strong>But the church wasn\u2019t really doing anything to make that easy for families.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Not more than preaching on the importance of family, which we did; sending people to marriage retreats, which are great; but we weren\u2019t equipping the parents\u2014we weren\u2019t intentionally equipping the parents to do their job in the home.\u00a0 Many times we were working against the family in terms of what we were doing\u2014programming at the church.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So how did you make a shift?\u00a0 What are you doing differently today than what you were doing ten years ago?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, first of all, is the declaration that, \u201cWe understand there is disconnect here.\u00a0 Let\u2019s all get on the same page.\u00a0 The primary discipleship is going to take place in the home.\u00a0 That is God\u2019s Plan A, okay?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecond of all, to provide some good resources for them\u2014not just once every ten years\u2014\u201cThe Year of the Family\u201d\u2014you know, with an emphasis that we come back to; but over and over again.\u00a0 We have done something real interesting in our church\u2014our campaigns.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is where we will take a particular catalytic discipline or activity of the family and we will really emphasize it.\u00a0 One of the campaigns was on prayer.\u00a0 We talked about the importance of a family praying together and the impact it is going to have on your kids\u2014just to see Mom and Dad praying for each other about specific requests.\u00a0 It would take a lot of families to the next level.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We surveyed more than a 100,000 people in the church.\u00a0 You will find this interesting, having just run that campaign.\u00a0 A 100,000 people attending churches said that 70 percent of them prayed for their family; 35 percent prayed with their family; less than 10 percent of the couples ever pray together; and less than 2 percent of husbands and wives prayed together every day.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is interesting that you have that same campaign in your church because personally, your marriage, your family, will not be the same after asking Almighty God and His power and His authority to take up residence and presence in your marriage and in your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I want to go off of that to the typical guy going to our church because we are a church that draws in a lot of people who are from an un-churched background.\u00a0 They are coming to Christ for the first time and understanding the gospel for the first time.\u00a0 They hear this challenge, \u201cListen, pray with your wife.\u201d\u00a0 \u201c(Gulp!)\u00a0 Out loud you mean?\u201d\u00a0 The embarrassment of, \u201cI am not sure I know how to pray out loud.\u00a0 I have never done that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong><strong>\u201c<\/strong>I don\u2019t know the Thees or the Thous.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u201cI don\u2019t have the theological training.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Exactly.\u00a0 Or, \u201cShe\u2019s a better pray-er than me,\u201d maybe or whatever it may be.\u00a0 What we did in our campaign\u2014we made it very, very easy.\u00a0 We gave them a \u201cPrayer-at-home Guide\u201d we called it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf you have never prayed out loud, here is some language you might want to use\u201d; or \u201cIf you are really nervous, just hold hands with your spouse.\u00a0 Both of you pray silently.\u00a0 Squeeze hands when you are done and chalk it up as one of your prayer together moments.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Baby steps.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Baby steps!\u00a0 Make it as easy as possible because I think we forget how intimidating this can be when they hear us challenge them\u2014particularly church leaders.\u00a0 We challenge them to do the right thing.\u00a0 Our passion and our goal is to make baby steps very simple for them to move toward those things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery 120 days\u2014we call the members of our church to create some kind of plan to be intentional the next 120 days.\u00a0 When they do that, they grade how well they have done the last 120 days in different categories\u2014my marriage, discipling my kids, and so forth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, when we did the very first assessment a few years ago, the reason we ended up doing the prayer campaign is from what we found out.\u00a0 They are grading themselves lowest on this \u201cprayer-at-home thing,\u201d much like you found in your research.\u00a0 \u201cThey are grading themselves very low on this.\u00a0 We have to help them; so let\u2019s make it as easy as possible.\u201d\u00a0 Then we go to the next campaign based on the next area that they are struggling with.\u00a0 We try to make it as simple as we can. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I know there are some folks who are listening who are saying, \u201cWell, maybe my church is not providing those kinds of resources.\u00a0 How can my church get those resources?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe actually have a website that is for pastors of churches of all sizes\u2014small churches and large churches\u2014of how they can get these same resources\u2014how they can get these campaigns and do them in the church.\u00a0 Friends, don\u2019t wait for your church to get concerned about your parenting, concerned about your marriage.\u00a0 You can do this thing yourself.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about that for a moment.\u00a0 Let\u2019s say somebody is listening right now; and they are saying, \u201cYou know, I am not in Rockwall, Texas.\u00a0 I live maybe in a small town that doesn\u2019t have churches that are much larger than 100, 200 people.\u00a0 They don\u2019t have a pastoral staff that is large that can begin to implement some of these things.\u00a0 What can I do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There are all kinds of resources from a lot of great organizations like your own, Dennis, that if\u00a0 parents will make themselves students of good marriages, that they make themselves students of good parenting practices.\u00a0 There are more resources today than ever in the history of the world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat the parent has to do\u2014they have to take the initiative to say, \u201cOkay, I am going to take the material that is out there.\u00a0 I am going to make an assessment of what the greatest need for my family is.\u00a0 Maybe I can\u2019t do everything and maybe it is not going to be perfect, but I am going to start being intentional.\u201d\u00a0 If you could just come up with one idea a year and graft that into your family, then you would be ahead of most Christian families in this nation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know, you get something simple like the <em>Just Add Family<\/em> kit that Kurt and Olivia put together that we worked with you on.\u00a0 You take that; you take it home\u2014you have recipe cards for how to engage the family.\u00a0 If that is all you did; if you did just that one thing over the course of a year, it would have a dramatic impact.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I would go further than that.\u00a0 I would say, \u201cDon\u2019t do more than one thing.\u00a0 Start with one thing.\u201d\u00a0 A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.\u00a0 I think we get paralyzed about all the possibilities I could do with my family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is why we call the church; and I would challenge your radio listeners in the next 120 days, \u201cWhat is one thing you are going to do to be more intentional than you have been in the last 120 days:\u00a0 one thing for your marriage, one thing in discipling your children or grandchildren?\u201d\u00a0 One simple step\u2014that is all you need to take.\u00a0 God will honor that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn 120 days, take another assessment and ask yourself, \u201cHow am I doing?\u201d because I guarantee in 120 days the Law of Entropy is going to take place and you are going to find yourself, \u201cOh, I have slacked off.\u00a0 I am not doing something.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cAll right.\u00a0 What are you going to do in the next 120 days?\u201d\u00a0 Just take it in bite-sized chunks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>One of the reasons we wrote <em>It Starts at Home<\/em> is we believe there needs to be a practical guide:\u00a0 \u201cHow does this look like in my home?\u201d\u00a0 At the end of every chapter, we give specific suggestions of what you might want to choose from in order to incorporate this into your own family.\u00a0 It is just really a step-by-step guide.\u00a0 It is more of a workbook than it is a book of theology or even parenting hints.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is all fueled by what you call in the book \u201cThe legacy principle.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is\u2014simply understanding that all of us pass on some kind of a legacy to the next generation\u2014good or bad.\u00a0 You are passing something.\u00a0 If you recognize you are passing something, the question is, \u201cAm I going to make that principle work for me and for my children or against me and against my children?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I remember sitting with Al Mohler, the President of Southern Seminary in Louisville.\u00a0 We were talking about marriage and family.\u00a0 He made the observation; he said, \u201cYou know, each one of us is somebody\u2019s ancestor.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cIf you look into the future, somebody is going to look back at you, as one of their ancestors.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWhen you start to think of yourself as an ancestor, it changes how you think of what your job is, what your assignment is.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is true.\u00a0 I had a mom just the other day stop and said, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 My daughter is making choices I never could have imagined.\u00a0 She grew up in the church.\u00a0 This is our church.\u00a0 What is going on?\u201d\u00a0 More and more parents we are hearing when their kids are in that 20-, 22-, 23-year-old range, they are saying, \u201cI am shocked!\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what is going on.\u00a0 They went to church our whole lives!\u00a0 What is happening here?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said to her, \u201cPart of what is happening, I believe, is we are swimming in different water than we ever have in the past.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There is no doubt about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Perhaps for the first time in church history\u2014think about this\u2014for the first time in church history, those most likely to embrace Christian faith are by and large rejecting it\u2014our own children who are being raised in the church.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomething is happening here, and I believe it has to do with we are swimming in dramatically different water.\u00a0 The things that were fine and would work 20, 30, 40 years ago, are not enough anymore.\u00a0 We have to be more intentional than ever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Just talking about the theme of legacy\u2014Bob and I sat down to do, I don\u2019t know, two or three radio broadcasts on legacy.\u00a0 Honestly, Steve, you are a grandparent.\u00a0 You are done raising your kids, as we are.\u00a0 I had not really stepped back to actually evaluate all the different components that comprise our legacy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the time we finished the series, what started out to be three broadcasts became ten because it encapsulates everything you do as a parent to provide memories for your children, to build a relationship with your children, to pass on your convictions, your truths, to challenge them to adopt their own convictions.\u00a0 It is all about us moving off the scene and our children becoming bigger and us becoming smaller.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of parents are not thinking that way.\u00a0 We think, \u201cWe are going to have them from now on.\u201d\u00a0 You know what, they will leave the home.\u00a0 They will get off on their own and they will establish their own marriages, their own families, with their own set of core values.\u00a0 The question is, \u201cWhose values and what are those values going to be based on?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I will say this.\u00a0 I do think there is a great opportunity for grandparents to continue their legacy and continue to invest in future generations even though they have changed their relationship with their own children.\u00a0 With the technology we have today, you can stay in contact with your grandkids, even living on the other side of the world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think one of the great things about being a grandparent is that you have margin.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we were raising our own kids, we were trying to start a church, we were having all the balls in the air\u2014taking care of their physical needs of buying clothes for them and keeping them safe and all that.\u00a0 Yes, we wanted to care about their spiritual nurturing as well; but that was one of many balls that we had to keep in the air.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the great privileges that I have as a grandparent is that I don\u2019t have to bathe the children every day; and I don\u2019t have to get them to school; get them to ball practice.\u00a0 I can concentrate on that spiritual legacy and invest in those kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Steve, not only do grandparents have margin; but they have an enormous influence that I think they underestimate.\u00a0 I am shocked when I talk to grandparents, how many of them disengage.\u00a0 They say, \u201cI am done.\u00a0 I have done that thing, and I am moving on.\u201d\u00a0 Yet, they possess a power in the lives of their grandchildren that no one else on the planet possesses.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Kurt, bigger than life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Kurt, we have to real this back.\u00a0 If we let these two guys get going on grandparenting, we will lose this whole program.\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There is a kindred spirit here.\u00a0 I was just getting ready...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How many grandkids do you have?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You don\u2019t want to know.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No.\u00a0 I really do want to know.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Sixteen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Sixteen.\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that great?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is great!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You are a wealthy man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What an assignment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We could go ahead and dismiss Kurt and Bob.\u00a0 We could just talk about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Can I see all 16 pictures, please?\u00a0 We would love to see all 16 pictures.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, you don\u2019t want to see them.\u00a0 Trust me! (laughter)\u00a0 Trust me.\u00a0 This will just degenerate right here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The thing that I like about what you said there, Steve, is that this is an assignment from God to a grandparent that he or she must assume and accept.\u00a0 What would you see as your primary role as a grandparent?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think the primary role is not much different than the role the parent has, except that we get to do it with more margin; that is, to live out the faith in front of your grandkids\u2014to have them see you make mistakes and confess your sin; to have them see you have successes because you are obeying God\u2019s Word; to seeing what you value, what you spend your time thinking about; the experiences that\u2014one of the things that my grandkids say\u2014they say, \u201cTell me some of those old stories.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey want to know stories of my life.\u00a0\u00a0 As I am telling them stories of my life, I am telling them about the faithfulness of God.\u00a0 It is a faithfulness that happened years ago and that God is still alive today and still working in our family today.\u00a0 I think what I give them\u2014I give them that faith over a long period of time, even though they are hearing about it in a short period of time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Let me make that real practical.\u00a0 We did a family night activity while Otis and Gail Ledbetter were in town, who are kind of adopted grandparents for my kids because my wife\u2019s parents are no longer living.\u00a0 Every time Grandpa Otis comes into town, they have to go to breakfast with the grandkids.\u00a0 They get to pick wherever they want\u2014it is usually McDonalds or something of that nature.\u00a0 He said to me at one point, \u201cKurt...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They get to pick wherever they want, and they pick McDonalds?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They are young, okay?\u00a0 This is when they were young.\u00a0 (laughter)\u00a0 When it is on my dime...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No offense to my McDonalds friends; but if I am picking wherever I want for breakfast...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So they would go every time he comes into town out for breakfast together.\u00a0 He would just sit with them and say, \u201cHow is it going?\u00a0 Tell me about your life.\u201d\u00a0 He wouldn\u2019t do any formal instruction; he just wanted to have that relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said to me at one point, \u201cKurt, I am doing this every time I visit now.\u201d\u00a0 That was two or three times a year.\u00a0 They looked forward to that:\u00a0 \u201cI got to go to breakfast with Grandpa Otis!\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI am doing that now to earn the right so that when they are older, I\u2019ll be able to influence their faith.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, again, grandparents underestimate.\u00a0 Just spend time with them.\u00a0 Just send them a text message, if you can figure out how the blasted thing works.\u00a0 Send them a text message once in a while giving them a blessing saying, \u201cI\u2019m thinking about you; I\u2019m praying about you.\u201d\u00a0 Keep that connection there.\u00a0 Then one or two words at key moments in their lives will have an enormous influence.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>If you are a parent and you have listened to these pastors talk about a church that is becoming a marriage- and family-equipping center for their community and you are wondering how you can help that happen in your church and your community, I would just like to encourage you to go to FamilyLifeToday.com and pick up a copy of their book, <em>It Starts at Home,<\/em> because I believe the most powerful element in the church is ultimately in the pew.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey are sitting out there. I believe they are looking for an assignment and want to know how they can live meaningful lives for God.\u00a0 You know, this can be a way you can do this in your church.\u00a0 Pick up a copy of this book, maybe take it and give it to your pastor, and then interact with him and say, \u201cI would like to help you maybe have a 120-day emphasis around praying together as a family.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is the point.\u00a0 You don\u2019t just pick up a copy of the book and give it to the pastor and say, \u201cHere, do this,\u201d or \u201cI think we ought to do this.\u201d\u00a0 You need to come with the book; but also come ready to serve and say, \u201cI am here to help make this happen.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a link on our website to the website you mentioned, DriveFaithHome.com, where you talk about how churches are engaging around some of these 120-day projects.\u00a0 I think it is critical for our listeners to understand your pastor is overwhelmed; he has got only so much he can do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRather than just say, \u201cHere, this is a good book.\u00a0 You ought to read it.\u00a0 I heard them talk about this on the radio,\u201d and then sitting back and saying, \u201cHe is not doing anything with that book I gave him.\u201d\u00a0 You need to come and say, \u201cI want to help do whatever I can to help pull this off.\u00a0 Would you look this over, and then see how I can get engaged?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get a copy of the book, <em>It Starts at Home<\/em>, when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 We will mail it out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it is FamilyLifeToday.com or call us toll-free at 1-800-FLTODAY (1-800-358-6329).\u00a0 That is \u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word \u201cToday.\u201d\u00a0 Ask for the book, <em>It Starts at Home;<\/em> and we will get a copy off to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention that Kurt and his wife Olivia put together a resource that I think is a great resource for families.\u00a0 It is a recipe box of family devotion recipes.\u00a0 That is the best way I know to describe it.\u00a0 Each of these recipe cards has a simple plan for how you can execute a meaningful conversation, a meaningful experience for your children\u2014just to get them thinking about spiritual issues\u2014about what the Bible has to say about a variety of subjects.\u00a0 We have information about the <em>Just Add Family <\/em>Recipe Box on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com as well.\u00a0 Stop by and take a look at that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, let me just say as we are thinking about Thanksgiving this week and being together with family and having a family celebration, we just want to take a minute and say how thankful we are here at FamilyLife for you and your support of this ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those of you who pray for us and for those of you who contribute financially to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, your donations are what keep us on the air.\u00a0 In fact, as we head toward the end of this year and start thinking about 2011, hearing from you in the final weeks of the year is critical for going forward into 2011.\u00a0 Let me just say, \u201cThanks,\u201d for all you do in helping support the ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back again with us tomorrow when we are going to continue our conversation about what we can be doing as moms and dads and as churches to pass on faith to the next generation.\u00a0 I hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey.\u00a0 I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThe Times They Are A-Changin\u2019, \u201c performed by Bob Dylan\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrom the album, <em>The Essential Bob Dylan<\/em>, (p) 2000 Sony Music Entertainment, Inc.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2010 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.26M"],"filesize_raw":["27538086"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302162.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302162.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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shows that young adults are leaving the church in droves.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-11-23.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 It is almost 50 years ago that Bob Dylan wrote what became an anthem for his generation:\u00a0 <em>The Times They Are A-Changin\u2019.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Music:\u00a0 <em>Come gather\u2019round people<\/em><br>\u00a0<em>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>Wherever you roam<\/em><br>\u00a0<em>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>And admit that the waters<\/em><br><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>Around you have grown<\/em><br><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>And accept it that soon<\/em><br><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>You\u2019ll be drenched to the bone<\/em><br><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>If your time to you is worth savin\u2019<\/em><br><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>Then you better start swimmin\u2019 or you\u2019ll sink like a stone<\/em><br><em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>For the times they are a-changin\u2019<\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAccording to Kurt Bruner:\u00a0 When it comes to passing on faith to the next generation\u2014 \u201cthe times they are a-changin\u2019.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Perhaps for the first time in church history\u2014think about this\u2014for the first time in church history, those most likely to embrace Christian faith are by and large rejecting it\u2014our own children who are being raised in the church.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomething is happening here, and I believe it has to do with we are swimming in dramatically different water.\u00a0 The things that were fine and would work 20, 30, 40 years ago, are not enough anymore.\u00a0 We have to be more intentional than ever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Music:\u00a0 <em>For the loser now will be later to win<\/em><br>\u00a0<em>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em><em>For the times they are a-changin\u2019<\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, November 23<sup>rd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey; and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 When it comes to passing on faith to the next generation, how can we as parents be like the men of Issachar who understood the times and knew how to respond?\u00a0 We will talk about that today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today; <\/em>thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think there is a parent listening today who is going, \u201cOh, I am not really all that interested in what you guys have to talk about today.\u00a0 You know, this is kind of one of those secondary subjects.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u201cI don\u2019t want to know how to teach my child about God, how to disciple my daughter, how to help my son grow up and make his way through a culture without being overtaken by evil.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong><strong>\u201c<\/strong>If they are walking with Christ when they hit 20, I\u2019m good with that; but it is not really a big deal to me.\u201d\u00a0 Do you think there is anybody who is feeling that way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No. No.\u00a0 In fact, if anything, I think the urgency is increasing among parents today who are feeling like, \u201cHow can I get this done?\u201d because they turn on the TV, they turn on the radio, they listen to the type of entertainment that is coming to them over the internet.\u00a0 It is getting louder and louder.\u00a0 The white noise of the culture is drowning out parents and their attempts to teach their children about Jesus Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a couple of guys who have collaborated together to write a book, <em>It Starts at Home<\/em>:\u00a0 <em>A Practical Guide to Nurturing Lifelong Faith<\/em>.\u00a0 Kurt Bruner and Steve Stroope join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Steve, Kurt, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve &amp; Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you.\u00a0 Great to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You guys\u2014You help lead a pretty good-sized little Texas church down there\u2014about 11,000 people attend there.\u00a0 Family is central to what you are doing there in that church.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow have you come to this conclusion, Steve?\u00a0 Has it come about through counseling and picking up the debris and performing triage on couple after couple and families with just what is happening in the culture today?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Like a lot of churches in America, we have a lot of families.\u00a0 In fact, we have three babies born per week in our fellowship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So it is something\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is a good way to grow a church!\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is a good way to grow a church, but we have been concerned as we have seen the same statistics that everyone has seen that about half of the kids who are growing up in a church in America today seem to be walking away.\u00a0 We started asking the question, \u201cAre we contributing to that problem?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo the extent that we have allowed our parents to think that it is the job of the church to disciple their kids we are guilty of creating some of that.\u00a0 What we really did, Dennis, we came to our people.\u00a0 We said out loud, \u201cGuys, it is not our job to disciple your kids.\u00a0 It is your job.\u00a0 You can\u2019t outsource that like you do the lawn or like you do cleaning.\u00a0 We are here to help you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Now immediately they said, \u201cThank you for pointing that out,\u201d didn\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know what, it is interesting.\u00a0 You would think they would say, \u201cHow dare you tell me that I am going to do all this work.\u201d\u00a0 They were thrilled when we not only said, \u201cIt is your job,\u201d but we said, \u201cWe will help you do your job.\u201d\u00a0 Really, that is the attempt of the book\u2014to give some resources to parents to help them as they disciple their own children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the church of Jesus Christ, is also responsible in every single community to make that declaration.\u00a0 \u201cParents, it is your job; but we will stand with you.\u00a0 We will help you do that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are some great resources out there for churches.\u00a0 Your organization, Dennis, has done such a great job of providing resources that churches can then turn around and put in the hands of these parents and say, \u201cYes, you can.\u00a0 We are going to help you, but you can do this job with God\u2019s help.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What I hear you guys saying is that moms and dads aren\u2019t saying, \u201cWe are not interested.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, goodness, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But they are saying, \u201cWe are not sure we are competent.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong><strong>\u201c<\/strong>We are not confident or\u2014competent or confident.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure I know how to do what you are describing needs to be done.\u201d\u00a0 Steve has said often, \u201cThey look at the youth ministries and the children\u2019s ministries.\u201d\u00a0 In fact, we are convinced that the problem is not what is or isn\u2019t happening at the church.\u00a0 The problem is what desperately needs to happen in the home.\u00a0 Why we say that:\u00a0 If you think about\u2014Bob, Dennis, did you have flannel graph when you were kids in Sunday school? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I remember flannel graph.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Flannel graph was cutting-edge technology at the time, right?\u00a0 That was state-of-the-art teaching children the faith.\u00a0 I had the same experience growing up.\u00a0 Look at the children ministries today and the student ministries today compared to what we had growing up.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe church is doing an outstanding job trying to be as creative as possible to declare the words of Scripture to our children.\u00a0 The problem is those children don\u2019t seem to want what it is we are describing.\u00a0 That is an issue that is rooted, we believe, in the home and what is happening or not happening in the home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBacking up\u2014to put on the lenses of the typical family like us who is attending a church\u2014We say, \u201cOkay, pastor.\u00a0 You say it is my job.\u00a0 Let\u2019s back this thing up a little bit.\u00a0 Steve, you had as a value statement at the church for 30 years a statement that said, \u2018The home is the primary context for spiritual formation.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong><strong>\u201c<\/strong>But the church wasn\u2019t really doing anything to make that easy for families.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Not more than preaching on the importance of family, which we did; sending people to marriage retreats, which are great; but we weren\u2019t equipping the parents\u2014we weren\u2019t intentionally equipping the parents to do their job in the home.\u00a0 Many times we were working against the family in terms of what we were doing\u2014programming at the church.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So how did you make a shift?\u00a0 What are you doing differently today than what you were doing ten years ago?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, first of all, is the declaration that, \u201cWe understand there is disconnect here.\u00a0 Let\u2019s all get on the same page.\u00a0 The primary discipleship is going to take place in the home.\u00a0 That is God\u2019s Plan A, okay?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecond of all, to provide some good resources for them\u2014not just once every ten years\u2014\u201cThe Year of the Family\u201d\u2014you know, with an emphasis that we come back to; but over and over again.\u00a0 We have done something real interesting in our church\u2014our campaigns.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat is where we will take a particular catalytic discipline or activity of the family and we will really emphasize it.\u00a0 One of the campaigns was on prayer.\u00a0 We talked about the importance of a family praying together and the impact it is going to have on your kids\u2014just to see Mom and Dad praying for each other about specific requests.\u00a0 It would take a lot of families to the next level.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We surveyed more than a 100,000 people in the church.\u00a0 You will find this interesting, having just run that campaign.\u00a0 A 100,000 people attending churches said that 70 percent of them prayed for their family; 35 percent prayed with their family; less than 10 percent of the couples ever pray together; and less than 2 percent of husbands and wives prayed together every day.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is interesting that you have that same campaign in your church because personally, your marriage, your family, will not be the same after asking Almighty God and His power and His authority to take up residence and presence in your marriage and in your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I want to go off of that to the typical guy going to our church because we are a church that draws in a lot of people who are from an un-churched background.\u00a0 They are coming to Christ for the first time and understanding the gospel for the first time.\u00a0 They hear this challenge, \u201cListen, pray with your wife.\u201d\u00a0 \u201c(Gulp!)\u00a0 Out loud you mean?\u201d\u00a0 The embarrassment of, \u201cI am not sure I know how to pray out loud.\u00a0 I have never done that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong><strong>\u201c<\/strong>I don\u2019t know the Thees or the Thous.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u201cI don\u2019t have the theological training.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Exactly.\u00a0 Or, \u201cShe\u2019s a better pray-er than me,\u201d maybe or whatever it may be.\u00a0 What we did in our campaign\u2014we made it very, very easy.\u00a0 We gave them a \u201cPrayer-at-home Guide\u201d we called it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf you have never prayed out loud, here is some language you might want to use\u201d; or \u201cIf you are really nervous, just hold hands with your spouse.\u00a0 Both of you pray silently.\u00a0 Squeeze hands when you are done and chalk it up as one of your prayer together moments.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Baby steps.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Baby steps!\u00a0 Make it as easy as possible because I think we forget how intimidating this can be when they hear us challenge them\u2014particularly church leaders.\u00a0 We challenge them to do the right thing.\u00a0 Our passion and our goal is to make baby steps very simple for them to move toward those things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery 120 days\u2014we call the members of our church to create some kind of plan to be intentional the next 120 days.\u00a0 When they do that, they grade how well they have done the last 120 days in different categories\u2014my marriage, discipling my kids, and so forth. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, when we did the very first assessment a few years ago, the reason we ended up doing the prayer campaign is from what we found out.\u00a0 They are grading themselves lowest on this \u201cprayer-at-home thing,\u201d much like you found in your research.\u00a0 \u201cThey are grading themselves very low on this.\u00a0 We have to help them; so let\u2019s make it as easy as possible.\u201d\u00a0 Then we go to the next campaign based on the next area that they are struggling with.\u00a0 We try to make it as simple as we can. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I know there are some folks who are listening who are saying, \u201cWell, maybe my church is not providing those kinds of resources.\u00a0 How can my church get those resources?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe actually have a website that is for pastors of churches of all sizes\u2014small churches and large churches\u2014of how they can get these same resources\u2014how they can get these campaigns and do them in the church.\u00a0 Friends, don\u2019t wait for your church to get concerned about your parenting, concerned about your marriage.\u00a0 You can do this thing yourself.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about that for a moment.\u00a0 Let\u2019s say somebody is listening right now; and they are saying, \u201cYou know, I am not in Rockwall, Texas.\u00a0 I live maybe in a small town that doesn\u2019t have churches that are much larger than 100, 200 people.\u00a0 They don\u2019t have a pastoral staff that is large that can begin to implement some of these things.\u00a0 What can I do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There are all kinds of resources from a lot of great organizations like your own, Dennis, that if\u00a0 parents will make themselves students of good marriages, that they make themselves students of good parenting practices.\u00a0 There are more resources today than ever in the history of the world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat the parent has to do\u2014they have to take the initiative to say, \u201cOkay, I am going to take the material that is out there.\u00a0 I am going to make an assessment of what the greatest need for my family is.\u00a0 Maybe I can\u2019t do everything and maybe it is not going to be perfect, but I am going to start being intentional.\u201d\u00a0 If you could just come up with one idea a year and graft that into your family, then you would be ahead of most Christian families in this nation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know, you get something simple like the <em>Just Add Family<\/em> kit that Kurt and Olivia put together that we worked with you on.\u00a0 You take that; you take it home\u2014you have recipe cards for how to engage the family.\u00a0 If that is all you did; if you did just that one thing over the course of a year, it would have a dramatic impact.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I would go further than that.\u00a0 I would say, \u201cDon\u2019t do more than one thing.\u00a0 Start with one thing.\u201d\u00a0 A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.\u00a0 I think we get paralyzed about all the possibilities I could do with my family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is why we call the church; and I would challenge your radio listeners in the next 120 days, \u201cWhat is one thing you are going to do to be more intentional than you have been in the last 120 days:\u00a0 one thing for your marriage, one thing in discipling your children or grandchildren?\u201d\u00a0 One simple step\u2014that is all you need to take.\u00a0 God will honor that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn 120 days, take another assessment and ask yourself, \u201cHow am I doing?\u201d because I guarantee in 120 days the Law of Entropy is going to take place and you are going to find yourself, \u201cOh, I have slacked off.\u00a0 I am not doing something.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cAll right.\u00a0 What are you going to do in the next 120 days?\u201d\u00a0 Just take it in bite-sized chunks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>One of the reasons we wrote <em>It Starts at Home<\/em> is we believe there needs to be a practical guide:\u00a0 \u201cHow does this look like in my home?\u201d\u00a0 At the end of every chapter, we give specific suggestions of what you might want to choose from in order to incorporate this into your own family.\u00a0 It is just really a step-by-step guide.\u00a0 It is more of a workbook than it is a book of theology or even parenting hints.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is all fueled by what you call in the book \u201cThe legacy principle.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is\u2014simply understanding that all of us pass on some kind of a legacy to the next generation\u2014good or bad.\u00a0 You are passing something.\u00a0 If you recognize you are passing something, the question is, \u201cAm I going to make that principle work for me and for my children or against me and against my children?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I remember sitting with Al Mohler, the President of Southern Seminary in Louisville.\u00a0 We were talking about marriage and family.\u00a0 He made the observation; he said, \u201cYou know, each one of us is somebody\u2019s ancestor.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cIf you look into the future, somebody is going to look back at you, as one of their ancestors.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWhen you start to think of yourself as an ancestor, it changes how you think of what your job is, what your assignment is.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is true.\u00a0 I had a mom just the other day stop and said, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 My daughter is making choices I never could have imagined.\u00a0 She grew up in the church.\u00a0 This is our church.\u00a0 What is going on?\u201d\u00a0 More and more parents we are hearing when their kids are in that 20-, 22-, 23-year-old range, they are saying, \u201cI am shocked!\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what is going on.\u00a0 They went to church our whole lives!\u00a0 What is happening here?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said to her, \u201cPart of what is happening, I believe, is we are swimming in different water than we ever have in the past.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There is no doubt about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Perhaps for the first time in church history\u2014think about this\u2014for the first time in church history, those most likely to embrace Christian faith are by and large rejecting it\u2014our own children who are being raised in the church.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomething is happening here, and I believe it has to do with we are swimming in dramatically different water.\u00a0 The things that were fine and would work 20, 30, 40 years ago, are not enough anymore.\u00a0 We have to be more intentional than ever. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Just talking about the theme of legacy\u2014Bob and I sat down to do, I don\u2019t know, two or three radio broadcasts on legacy.\u00a0 Honestly, Steve, you are a grandparent.\u00a0 You are done raising your kids, as we are.\u00a0 I had not really stepped back to actually evaluate all the different components that comprise our legacy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the time we finished the series, what started out to be three broadcasts became ten because it encapsulates everything you do as a parent to provide memories for your children, to build a relationship with your children, to pass on your convictions, your truths, to challenge them to adopt their own convictions.\u00a0 It is all about us moving off the scene and our children becoming bigger and us becoming smaller.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of parents are not thinking that way.\u00a0 We think, \u201cWe are going to have them from now on.\u201d\u00a0 You know what, they will leave the home.\u00a0 They will get off on their own and they will establish their own marriages, their own families, with their own set of core values.\u00a0 The question is, \u201cWhose values and what are those values going to be based on?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I will say this.\u00a0 I do think there is a great opportunity for grandparents to continue their legacy and continue to invest in future generations even though they have changed their relationship with their own children.\u00a0 With the technology we have today, you can stay in contact with your grandkids, even living on the other side of the world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think one of the great things about being a grandparent is that you have margin.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we were raising our own kids, we were trying to start a church, we were having all the balls in the air\u2014taking care of their physical needs of buying clothes for them and keeping them safe and all that.\u00a0 Yes, we wanted to care about their spiritual nurturing as well; but that was one of many balls that we had to keep in the air.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the great privileges that I have as a grandparent is that I don\u2019t have to bathe the children every day; and I don\u2019t have to get them to school; get them to ball practice.\u00a0 I can concentrate on that spiritual legacy and invest in those kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Steve, not only do grandparents have margin; but they have an enormous influence that I think they underestimate.\u00a0 I am shocked when I talk to grandparents, how many of them disengage.\u00a0 They say, \u201cI am done.\u00a0 I have done that thing, and I am moving on.\u201d\u00a0 Yet, they possess a power in the lives of their grandchildren that no one else on the planet possesses.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Kurt, bigger than life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Kurt, we have to real this back.\u00a0 If we let these two guys get going on grandparenting, we will lose this whole program.\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There is a kindred spirit here.\u00a0 I was just getting ready...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How many grandkids do you have?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You don\u2019t want to know.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No.\u00a0 I really do want to know.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Sixteen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Sixteen.\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that great?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is great!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You are a wealthy man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What an assignment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We could go ahead and dismiss Kurt and Bob.\u00a0 We could just talk about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Can I see all 16 pictures, please?\u00a0 We would love to see all 16 pictures.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, you don\u2019t want to see them.\u00a0 Trust me! (laughter)\u00a0 Trust me.\u00a0 This will just degenerate right here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The thing that I like about what you said there, Steve, is that this is an assignment from God to a grandparent that he or she must assume and accept.\u00a0 What would you see as your primary role as a grandparent?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think the primary role is not much different than the role the parent has, except that we get to do it with more margin; that is, to live out the faith in front of your grandkids\u2014to have them see you make mistakes and confess your sin; to have them see you have successes because you are obeying God\u2019s Word; to seeing what you value, what you spend your time thinking about; the experiences that\u2014one of the things that my grandkids say\u2014they say, \u201cTell me some of those old stories.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey want to know stories of my life.\u00a0\u00a0 As I am telling them stories of my life, I am telling them about the faithfulness of God.\u00a0 It is a faithfulness that happened years ago and that God is still alive today and still working in our family today.\u00a0 I think what I give them\u2014I give them that faith over a long period of time, even though they are hearing about it in a short period of time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Let me make that real practical.\u00a0 We did a family night activity while Otis and Gail Ledbetter were in town, who are kind of adopted grandparents for my kids because my wife\u2019s parents are no longer living.\u00a0 Every time Grandpa Otis comes into town, they have to go to breakfast with the grandkids.\u00a0 They get to pick wherever they want\u2014it is usually McDonalds or something of that nature.\u00a0 He said to me at one point, \u201cKurt...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They get to pick wherever they want, and they pick McDonalds?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They are young, okay?\u00a0 This is when they were young.\u00a0 (laughter)\u00a0 When it is on my dime...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No offense to my McDonalds friends; but if I am picking wherever I want for breakfast...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kurt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So they would go every time he comes into town out for breakfast together.\u00a0 He would just sit with them and say, \u201cHow is it going?\u00a0 Tell me about your life.\u201d\u00a0 He wouldn\u2019t do any formal instruction; he just wanted to have that relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said to me at one point, \u201cKurt, I am doing this every time I visit now.\u201d\u00a0 That was two or three times a year.\u00a0 They looked forward to that:\u00a0 \u201cI got to go to breakfast with Grandpa Otis!\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI am doing that now to earn the right so that when they are older, I\u2019ll be able to influence their faith.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, again, grandparents underestimate.\u00a0 Just spend time with them.\u00a0 Just send them a text message, if you can figure out how the blasted thing works.\u00a0 Send them a text message once in a while giving them a blessing saying, \u201cI\u2019m thinking about you; I\u2019m praying about you.\u201d\u00a0 Keep that connection there.\u00a0 Then one or two words at key moments in their lives will have an enormous influence.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>If you are a parent and you have listened to these pastors talk about a church that is becoming a marriage- and family-equipping center for their community and you are wondering how you can help that happen in your church and your community, I would just like to encourage you to go to FamilyLifeToday.com and pick up a copy of their book, <em>It Starts at Home,<\/em> because I believe the most powerful element in the church is ultimately in the pew.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey are sitting out there. I believe they are looking for an assignment and want to know how they can live meaningful lives for God.\u00a0 You know, this can be a way you can do this in your church.\u00a0 Pick up a copy of this book, maybe take it and give it to your pastor, and then interact with him and say, \u201cI would like to help you maybe have a 120-day emphasis around praying together as a family.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is the point.\u00a0 You don\u2019t just pick up a copy of the book and give it to the pastor and say, \u201cHere, do this,\u201d or \u201cI think we ought to do this.\u201d\u00a0 You need to come with the book; but also come ready to serve and say, \u201cI am here to help make this happen.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a link on our website to the website you mentioned, DriveFaithHome.com, where you talk about how churches are engaging around some of these 120-day projects.\u00a0 I think it is critical for our listeners to understand your pastor is overwhelmed; he has got only so much he can do. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRather than just say, \u201cHere, this is a good book.\u00a0 You ought to read it.\u00a0 I heard them talk about this on the radio,\u201d and then sitting back and saying, \u201cHe is not doing anything with that book I gave him.\u201d\u00a0 You need to come and say, \u201cI want to help do whatever I can to help pull this off.\u00a0 Would you look this over, and then see how I can get engaged?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get a copy of the book, <em>It Starts at Home<\/em>, when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 We will mail it out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it is FamilyLifeToday.com or call us toll-free at 1-800-FLTODAY (1-800-358-6329).\u00a0 That is \u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word \u201cToday.\u201d\u00a0 Ask for the book, <em>It Starts at Home;<\/em> and we will get a copy off to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention that Kurt and his wife Olivia put together a resource that I think is a great resource for families.\u00a0 It is a recipe box of family devotion recipes.\u00a0 That is the best way I know to describe it.\u00a0 Each of these recipe cards has a simple plan for how you can execute a meaningful conversation, a meaningful experience for your children\u2014just to get them thinking about spiritual issues\u2014about what the Bible has to say about a variety of subjects.\u00a0 We have information about the <em>Just Add Family <\/em>Recipe Box on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com as well.\u00a0 Stop by and take a look at that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, let me just say as we are thinking about Thanksgiving this week and being together with family and having a family celebration, we just want to take a minute and say how thankful we are here at FamilyLife for you and your support of this ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those of you who pray for us and for those of you who contribute financially to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, your donations are what keep us on the air.\u00a0 In fact, as we head toward the end of this year and start thinking about 2011, hearing from you in the final weeks of the year is critical for going forward into 2011.\u00a0 Let me just say, \u201cThanks,\u201d for all you do in helping support the ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back again with us tomorrow when we are going to continue our conversation about what we can be doing as moms and dads and as churches to pass on faith to the next generation.\u00a0 I hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey.\u00a0 I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThe Times They Are A-Changin\u2019, \u201c performed by Bob Dylan\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrom the album, <em>The Essential Bob Dylan<\/em>, (p) 2000 Sony Music Entertainment, Inc.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2010 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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