{"id":302137,"date":"2010-10-26T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-10-26T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/facing-temptation\/"},"modified":"2010-10-26T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-10-26T15:00:00","slug":"facing-temptation","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/facing-temptation\/","title":{"rendered":"Facing Temptation"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do your kids have access to drugs?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-10-26.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.64M","filesize_raw":"25841362","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850],"tags":[2872,4466,4465,2588],"podcast_series":[7763],"cwp_profile":[3434],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302137","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","tag-addiction","tag-alcohol","tag-drugs","tag-teens","podcast_series-talking-smack","cwp_profile-glenn-williams","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302137\/facing-temptation","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302137\/facing-temptation","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"oWisBheW1o\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/facing-temptation\/\">Facing Temptation<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/facing-temptation\/embed\/#?secret=oWisBheW1o\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Facing Temptation&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"oWisBheW1o\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-10-26.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-10-26.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Talking with our children about drugs is not a one-time experience.\u00a0 Glenn Williams says it\u2019s not an event.\u00a0 Instead it\u2019s something that should be a part of our conversation somewhat regularly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, when you\u2019re sitting down watching the football and there\u2019s an interview about steroids or performance-enhancing drugs, or there\u2019s an article in the newspaper on the front page about a car accident and people were killed because the driver was under the influence.\u00a0 You look for those teachable moments, and believe me, they are there and they are fairly frequent.\u00a0 Taking real life examples from everyday things that your kids see and hear and experience -- for me, that\u2019s wise use of those.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, October 26th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Even if you look at your son or daughter and think there\u2019s no way they are using any kind of drugs, you still need to be talking with them about it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I\u2019m just curious.\u00a0 Did you have regular conversations with your kids as they were coming up on the subject of drugs and alcohol and substance abuse?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They would say I did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They would say, \u201cDad, you just overdid it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You hammered us on this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I really didn\u2019t hammer them.\u00a0 From my perspective it was a good prevent offense.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So would it be monthly?\u00a0 A couple times a year?\u00a0 How often would the subject come up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have it on the calendar.\u00a0 All I know is I tried to take advantage of opportunities as they presented themselves in the culture and with their friends and what was taking place.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to tell you something:\u00a0 If you raise young people today, toward adolescence and the teenage years, you\u2019re going to have some illustrations that you\u2019re going to be able to unpack and talk about with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and if you\u2019re sitting down and watching a sporting event with a son or daughter, about every ten or 15 minutes you have a fresh opportunity to address it because every other commercial is about alcohol use.\u00a0 Right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, I thought you were going to talk about the reporting about athletes using performance-enhancing drugs and those are opportunities to talk to your kids about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a guest who has given a good bit of his life to addressing the needs of young people, not only before they get to adolescence but after they are in the battle.\u00a0 Glenn Williams joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Glenn, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 Glad to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Glenn has written a book called <em>Talking Smack<\/em>.\u00a0 He is an Australian \u2013 in fact, you can tell he\u2019s from the south \u2013 south of the equator.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He says, \u201cG\u2019day, y\u2019all.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 Glenn has three children.\u00a0 In fact, he\u2019s right in the middle of this with his wife, Natalie.\u00a0 You\u2019re in what I call \u201cThe Golden Years.\u201d\u00a0 All your kids are 11 or 12 and younger, so you\u2019ve not yet collided \u2013 truly collided\u2014with the culture.\u00a0 There are still under your control.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 So, all the more reason to be prepared, don\u2019t you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 A lot of parents aren\u2019t prepared.\u00a0 They\u2019re na\u00efve.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, they get lulled to sleep in the middle of it, because you look at your kids and you think, \u201cThey\u2019re so sweet and they\u2019re so innocent.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, it\u2019s na\u00efvet\u00e9 or it\u2019s just feeling comfortable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or we just think our kids are just a long way away from dealing with an issue like this.\u00a0 Let me speak to that.\u00a0 There\u2019s one story that comes to mind:\u00a0 Jackie and Brian -- again, just your average couple.\u00a0 Jackie and Brian and their daughter Lisa went out to see a movie one night.\u00a0 They came home to something that they never thought they would experience.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey pulled into the driveway, and there\u2019s their son, Gary.\u00a0 Gary is fifteen years old and he\u2019s clearly in distress.\u00a0 You can see that Gary has been beaten quite severely.\u00a0 All the lights in the house are on, the doors are open.\u00a0 So again, you start thinking the worst:\u00a0 \u201cWhat is going on here?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBrian, the father, runs into the house, and he can see that it\u2019s a mess.\u00a0 Literally, things have been turned upside down and anything of any value had been taken \u2013 the television, the stereo, the camera \u2013 anything of any value.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they later found out from Gary was that Gary had, what he thought innocently, started just experimenting with marijuana.\u00a0 He thought it was kind of cool and he enjoyed the high- the feeling that it gave him and thought that he could control that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut before long he realized that somebody who was providing him with marijuana would eventually come to collect.\u00a0 They\u2019d want payment for that, and Gary clearly wasn\u2019t in a position where he could afford to pay for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So how did he get the drugs in the first place if he wasn\u2019t paying cash for them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 He got it all on credit.\u00a0 People are often given drugs on credit with the full knowledge that one day they are going to have to pay for that.\u00a0 Typically what happens is it gets closer to payment day and I don\u2019t have the money and so I\u2019m going to have to steal something or I\u2019m going to have to take something out of mom or dad\u2019s wallet or purse and hopefully they won\u2019t notice and so on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut particularly when the habit becomes quite severe, it gets incredibly expensive.\u00a0 So this is what had happened to Gary.\u00a0 A group of guys had come to collect payment, and he didn\u2019t have the money, so they went inside the house and took everything of value.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, again, this was a normal family, Dennis.\u00a0 And I remember Jackie talking about this later.\u00a0 She said, \u201cWhere did I go wrong?\u00a0 Did I fail as a mother?\u00a0 How could all this have been going on under my eyes and I had not even noticed?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t even realize that there were certain signs or symptoms that I needed to be aware of that would be indicators of drug use.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBrian\u2019s response as the father was quite different.\u00a0 He kind of wanted to live in a denial.\u00a0 \u201cWell, it\u2019s just a passing phase.\u00a0 Gary\u2019s a teenager; he\u2019ll get over it.\u00a0 It\u2019s normal for teens just to try something and to move on.\u201d\u00a0 The problem here was that Gary as the user didn\u2019t just move one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I\u2019m thinking right now, Bob, and you remember this interview with John Vawter.\u00a0 John was a pastor, and he would put himself in the same camp as these parents.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t realize it was going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 And he was very transparent as he had the conversation with us.\u00a0 In fact, we were able to get his daughter, Stephanie, on the line and to talk with her about what had been going on as well.\u00a0 Their candor in talking about this issue, I think was very helpful for our listeners, and we want folks to hear just a little slice of what that conversation sounded like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John:<\/strong>\u00a0 Later on, I said to Stephanie, \u201cHow could I be so stupid to have missed the fact that you used heroin for a year and a half?\u201d\u00a0 Her immediate response was the statement that has now helped lots of parents.\u00a0 She said, \u201cDad, you can\u2019t be a successful addict unless you\u2019re a great liar.\u201d\u00a0 Another way of saying that is, she said \u201cMy ability to lie is better than your ability to discern.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephanie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had tried LSD.\u00a0 I had tried cocaine, and that was experimental and short-lived because they didn\u2019t give me the effect that I was looking for.\u00a0 And then when I did heroin for the first time I thought, \u201cWow, I don\u2019t have to feel anything right now.\u00a0 That was the feeling I had been looking for, was the feeling of nothing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John:<\/strong>\u00a0 There were a few times when Susan, her mother, and I talked about the fact that she seemed to be a little aimless in Denver.\u00a0 Was she in fact in school?\u00a0 Why did she seem to move from job to job?\u00a0 In one sense it was a complete shock, and in another sense it brought us an answer to some questions we had been asking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephanie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hadn\u2019t any clue what I would do if I wasn\u2019t doing heroin.\u00a0 I had no idea how to live without something medicating my feelings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our son called.\u00a0 He said, \u201cMom and Dad, are you sitting down?\u201d\u00a0 And before we could sit down he said, \u201cStephanie is using heroin.\u201d\u00a0 All I could tell you is at that moment I had been in ministry for over thirty years, I have talked a lot about the sovereignty of God, I\u2019ve talked a lot about God being close to us during tough times, and I honestly could not breathe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first emotion we felt after fear, and the fear was overwhelming, because Stephanie was in Juarez, Mexico, was one of asking the question, \u201cWhat have we done wrong?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephanie:<\/strong>\u00a0 The whole idea behind going to Mexico was that this drug dealer who lived in the basement of my house who had actually become my only friend at that point; we went to Mexico with the intent of trying to wean ourselves off heroin by using prescription drugs.\u00a0 And as crazy an idea as that might sound to someone who\u2019s not an addict, to us that sounded perfectly normal.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were going to go to Mexico, get prescription drugs, go to the beach and try to wean ourselves off heroin, because detoxing from heroin is not pleasant.\u00a0 But then we went to Mexico and trouble finds trouble.\u00a0 And we found heroin that was more potent than we had been doing.\u00a0 The desire to continue being that high superseded any desire to want to stop.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John:<\/strong>\u00a0 And what we realized is that we did not have the luxury of time to sit around saying \u201cWere we bad parents?\u201d or \u201cWhat are people going to say about us?\u201d or \u201cWhat are people going to think?\u201d\u00a0 We needed to try to find out how we could rescue her from where she was at that time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Parents can beat themselves up here.\u00a0 Even parents who do a good job preparing their kids to face drugs and alcohol abuse and all the various issues they\u2019re going to face \u2013 parents can do a great job but there is still the human element here where a fifteen-year-old is a fifteen-year-old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s young.\u00a0 He\u2019s impressionable and in the words of Proverbs, he can be a fool.\u00a0 He can make a wrong choice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 And again as parents, just understanding that our kids are literally every day bombarded with messages about drugs and about alcohol.\u00a0 You know, whether we like it or not, it\u2019s in the newspaper, it\u2019s on the news, it\u2019s on television, and it\u2019s in sporting events.\u00a0 Kids are exposed to this.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo don\u2019t just think, \u201cWell, my school is a safe place.\u00a0 My kid\u2019s in youth group, and youth group is a safe place.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s not necessarily about those things per se; it\u2019s about your child is being literally bombarded day in and day out with these advertisements and they are making value judgments about what they\u2019re hearing and what they\u2019re seeing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what are you telling your son to do if maybe someone comes up and offers your eleven-year-old a heroin starter kit?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You mentioned a heroin starter kit, and I thought to myself, \u201cA ten- or eleven-year-old doesn\u2019t like to get a shot from a doctor, so somebody is going to come up to them with a needle and they\u2019re going to go \u2018Oh, that looks cool\u2019?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or some powder to ingest or whatever.\u00a0 Again, what I would say to my son, or what I have said to my son in that context there, Dennis, is that \u201cListen, you don\u2019t accept anything from anybody unless you know what that is.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think one of the challenges and what parents need to realize is that drugs are made out to be not just cool, but also very attractive.\u00a0 You have very cool names being assigned to some things.\u00a0 You have very cool colors being assigned to tablets, and some of the different drugs are valuable.\u00a0 So if you don\u2019t know what that is, you don\u2019t take it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Aren\u2019t you concerned that your son is just going to go, \u201cOkay Dad, you\u2019re Dad.\u00a0 You have to say that.\u00a0 I mean that\u2019s . . . yeah . . . but come on, my friend\u2019s using the stuff and nothing bad is happening to him.\u201d\u00a0 Aren\u2019t you concerned that the message you\u2019re trying to preach is going to get marginalized or shoved aside by your kids?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me put that question back to you a different way.\u00a0 If I\u2019m afraid that that would be the reaction of my child, do I therefore not say anything?\u00a0 Because, you know what, if I don\u2019t say anything, I run the risk of my child being totally fooled every single time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 I care enough about my kids to say, \u201cYou know what, they still may make a decision that I would disagree with or make a choice that is going to hurt them or harm them, but it\u2019s not going to be because I didn\u2019t share with them or talk with them about the subject.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It actually happened to me in the ninth grade.\u00a0 I was at my locker and had a guy come up to my locker and he said . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now you lived in St. Louis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not Ozark, Missouri.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was in the bigger city, and I\u2019ll never forget, he came up and he kind of looked both ways and he said, \u201cYou interested in a bag of marijuana?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, before you finish the story, had your parents talked to you about what to do in that situation, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember a conversation about that.\u00a0 You have to remember, let\u2019s see, I\u2019m in the ninth grade, so this was 1970.\u00a0 Drug use was all over the news media in 1970.\u00a0 This was the year I think that Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix both died.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes \u2013 LSD and . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and we\u2019d seen Woodstock and so I\u2019d kind of known what was going on.\u00a0 But I don\u2019t remember Mom and Dad ever sitting down and talking to me and saying, \u201cYou don\u2019t want to mess with this stuff,\u201d or \u201cYou don\u2019t want to do that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I was aware of it, I knew it was there, and so I had the guy come up and say, \u201cYou want a bag of marijuana?\u201d\u00a0 First of all, he was a big guy and I was a little afraid if I said \u201cno\u201d that he might get mad at me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was he offering it for free or for sale?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, he was offering it for sale.\u00a0 I kind of nervously laughed and said, \u201cNo, no I don\u2019t think so.\u00a0 Not today.\u201d\u00a0 And he went on.\u00a0 That was the end of the conversation.\u00a0 But I went home that night and I told my parents what had happened.\u00a0 I told my mom.\u00a0 I said, \u201cGuess what happened to me at school today?\u201d\u00a0 And my mom and dad called the local police officer, had him come out to the house, and I sat down with the detective and I told him what had happened to me at school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Good for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, yes.\u00a0 And we tried to make sure that the big guy didn\u2019t know who it was who had talked to the local police officer, but it wasn\u2019t long after that that I heard about him getting busted.\u00a0 So it does happen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s better said, I think:\u00a0 \u201cIt will happen.\u201d\u00a0 Someway, somehow, the offer of some kind of drug is going to occur with your children between the ages of eight all the way through adolescence on into adulthood.\u00a0 It will happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think back . . . Okay, so why did I say \u201cno\u201d if my parents had not had the conversation?\u00a0 I mean, it was in the news, and I knew that there were people dying from drug use, but I think one of the other factors for me was the fact that my dad drank to excess, so I was probably predisposed away from drugs as a result of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And that\u2019s my question, Glenn.\u00a0 Are there some children who are more at risk to take drugs than others?\u00a0 One of the stories you tell in your book is a child whose parents have been through a divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, in fact researchers on this subject will talk often about risk factors and also protective factors.\u00a0 The more protective factors that exist, then they\u2019ll counter some of those risk factors.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat are risk factors?\u00a0\u00a0 It may be, for example, a child has a low self esteem, lacks a lot of self-confidence.\u00a0\u00a0 It would be a stressful home environment, where perhaps there is a lot of conflict.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t have too many friends, is not very strong in the area of interpersonal skills, does not find it easy to relate to other kids, and so therefore is often left on the outer.\u00a0 Not performing well at school, not engaged in sports, not engaged as a family, so in other words there is not a strong parent-child relationship.\u00a0 All of those things are described as risk factors.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow there are things that can be done to counter that.\u00a0 In the situation you\u2019ve just talked about, where the child does grow up in a home where there has been divorce, what do you do to counter that?\u00a0 Well you counter that by making sure that there\u2019s a good mentor, and that there are strong family relationships that exist for that child.\u00a0 Make sure that there\u2019s a safe place where that child can continue to grow and ask questions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor both parents that are separated, make sure that there\u2019s an investment nonetheless in both of those relationships with the child; there\u2019s still time for that child to actually be close to the mother and the father, albeit in different homes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 To that point, Glenn, what if you\u2019re in a situation where the parents are divorced and there\u2019s some kind of joint custody or at least part-time custody, and the other parent is using drugs or alcohol in excess?\u00a0 What would you say to the parent who is trying to protect the child sending that child into that family experience on a regular basis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 For starters, I\u2019d report the other parent, because obviously that\u2019s going to have an incredibly negative impact, a negative influence on the child.\u00a0 But again, you need to sit down with the child and make sure that the child is aware of what\u2019s going on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHey, listen, dad\u2019s not doing terribly well, he\u2019s drinking excessively, and the reason why he\u2019s doing this is that he\u2019s not coping too well.\u00a0 He obviously misses the family being together in one unit as it was, or there are stresses at work or somewhere else that he\u2019s experiencing, and this is his way of dealing with that.\u00a0 It\u2019s not a healthy way.\u00a0 It\u2019s bad for his health; you\u2019ve already seen it for yourself.\u00a0 It\u2019s not good for the both of you to be together in that context.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you talk about it in spiritual terms?\u00a0 Do you define it as \u201cThis is sin on the part of your mom or your dad?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are two ways you could go with that.\u00a0 You could talk about \u201cthis is sin,\u201d or you could talk about \u201cthis is the consequences of sin or not being in the center of God\u2019s will.\u201d\u00a0 In other words, \u201cWe started fighting; we started arguing, which is not a godly response. . . .\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tScripture says you cannot have two masters in your life, and very, very quickly what you\u2019ll find is alcohol or drugs will be a master in your life.\u00a0 It will dominate your life, it will control your life, and it will influence every decision you make.\u00a0 Is that the sort of life that you want for your child?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis brings me back to another story, if I could just share that quickly, about some of the conflicting messages that we can give our children.\u00a0 I remember the story of Beverly.\u00a0 Beverly came home after an incredibly stressful day at work, she goes into the kitchen, she opens the refrigerator door, pulls out a bottle of wine and pours herself a glass of wine, sits down in the chair and goes, \u201cAh-h-h, just what I needed, just to relax.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow what she didn\u2019t realize was that her fifteen-year-old daughter had come into the kitchen at the same time she just poured that glass and sat down with that expression. Beverly realized at that point, \u201cWow, you know what?\u00a0 I just really sent a conflicting message to my daughter.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, the issue is not the glass of wine here.\u00a0 The issue is the message that went with it.\u00a0 One of the things that I\u2019m very committed to, honestly, is that this is not an issue of judging people for drinking wine or not drinking wine.\u00a0 This is a matter of saying, \u201cListen, just be careful with the messages that you apply to your actions in front of your kids.\u00a0\u00a0 Is that consistent with the message that you\u2019re trying to reinforce in your kid\u2019s life?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about the message for a second, because, honestly, we interacted with our children around this.\u00a0 Our children said, \u201cDad, you just talk too much about this.\u00a0 We don\u2019t need another lecture.\u201d\u00a0 Now I didn\u2019t view it as a lecture.\u00a0 I felt like I was running a good prevent offense trying to protect them from the culture.\u00a0 At what point does a parent overdo it, and honestly, if I had it to do all over again, I don\u2019t know if I\u2019d do it a whole lot different, even with the feedback that I got from our kids at the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Well, I think a parent can overdo it, and again, some of it comes out of almost a sense of guilt.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t start young enough with my children.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t make this a journey, I made it an event, and all of a sudden my kids are getting close to those teen years where they are going to be influenced by others more significantly. . .\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201c. . . so let\u2019s cram as much information in as we can.\u00a0 So obviously that would be overdoing it.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure there\u2019s any science to it, Dennis.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s more about what are the teachable moments available to you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you are sitting down watching the football and there\u2019s an interview about steroids or performance-enhancing drugs, or there\u2019s an article in the newspaper on the front page about a car accident and people are killed because the driver was under the influence.\u00a0 You look for those teachable moments, and believe me, they are there and they are fairly frequent.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTaking real life examples from everyday things that your kids see and hear and experience -- for me, that is a wise use of those.\u00a0 So I think that will probably prevent you from overdoing it because you are actually using examples that are very real in your child\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What I\u2019d want parents to know is that we are responsible to bring the truth of the Bible both from the Scriptures directly but also through our own experience and the lessons we\u2019ve learned in life to our children and give them some boundaries that protect them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFences are put up to keep bad things out and good things in.\u00a0 As you instruct your children, as you hope to educate your children, you\u2019re going to have push back.\u00a0 You know, I\u2019m not responsible for my kids\u2019 push back when it occurred.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m more responsible to make sure that the boundaries that I\u2019m passing on are done to the very best of my ability with a winsome spirit, not being judgmental, not pointing a finger at people or at things, but at the same time warning them that there are dangers out there that can destroy their lives.\u00a0 They may not like those boundaries, they may question those boundaries.\u00a0 In fact, more than likely, you need to know as a parent, they are going to question those boundaries.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just sitting here thinking if you\u2019re not getting a little push back, then you\u2019re probably not going far enough in the conversation with your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Either that, or you\u2019ve got a firstborn who is just compliant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think the point is, as parents we\u2019ve got to be proactive.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to have a strategy; we can\u2019t just hope it doesn\u2019t happen and then I\u2019ll talk with my kids about this if I start to suspect something.\u00a0 We need to engage on this issue when they are preteens; during their teenage years we need to be looping back around and having this kind of a conversation with our sons and daughters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the resources that will help us with that is the book that Glenn has written, which is called <em>Talking Smack, <\/em>and which this week we are making available to listeners who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation.\u00a0 We\u2019d like to get this book in as many hands as possible.\u00a0 All you have to do is go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, make a donation, and then request the book.\u00a0 You do that by typing the word \u201cTALK\u201d in the key code box on the online donation form.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr call 1-800-FLTODAY and make a donation over the phone and just say, \u201cI\u2019d like that book on drugs.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s called <em>Talking Smack<\/em>, and we\u2019ll get a copy of the book out to you.\u00a0 We hope a lot of parents will get it and read it and start engaging on this issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to say we appreciate those of you who do help support this ministry with your donations.\u00a0 It\u2019s those donations that keep us on the air on this station and on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 So we\u2019re grateful for whatever you\u2019re able to do in support of the ministry and just want to say thanks in advance for your financial support.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, if you\u2019d like a copy of the book <em>Talking Smack<\/em>, make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com and type the word \u201cTALK\u201d in the key code box, or call 1-800-FLTODAY, make a donation over the phone, and ask for a copy of the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow we want to talk about what you do as a parent if you find out your son or daughter has used or is using drugs or alcohol.\u00a0 Glenn Williams is going to be back with us; hope you can be back as well as we continue this conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2010 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.64M"],"filesize_raw":["25841362"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302137.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302137.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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your kids have access to drugs?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-10-26.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Talking with our children about drugs is not a one-time experience.\u00a0 Glenn Williams says it\u2019s not an event.\u00a0 Instead it\u2019s something that should be a part of our conversation somewhat regularly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, when you\u2019re sitting down watching the football and there\u2019s an interview about steroids or performance-enhancing drugs, or there\u2019s an article in the newspaper on the front page about a car accident and people were killed because the driver was under the influence.\u00a0 You look for those teachable moments, and believe me, they are there and they are fairly frequent.\u00a0 Taking real life examples from everyday things that your kids see and hear and experience -- for me, that\u2019s wise use of those.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, October 26th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Even if you look at your son or daughter and think there\u2019s no way they are using any kind of drugs, you still need to be talking with them about it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I\u2019m just curious.\u00a0 Did you have regular conversations with your kids as they were coming up on the subject of drugs and alcohol and substance abuse?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They would say I did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They would say, \u201cDad, you just overdid it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You hammered us on this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I really didn\u2019t hammer them.\u00a0 From my perspective it was a good prevent offense.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So would it be monthly?\u00a0 A couple times a year?\u00a0 How often would the subject come up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have it on the calendar.\u00a0 All I know is I tried to take advantage of opportunities as they presented themselves in the culture and with their friends and what was taking place.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to tell you something:\u00a0 If you raise young people today, toward adolescence and the teenage years, you\u2019re going to have some illustrations that you\u2019re going to be able to unpack and talk about with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and if you\u2019re sitting down and watching a sporting event with a son or daughter, about every ten or 15 minutes you have a fresh opportunity to address it because every other commercial is about alcohol use.\u00a0 Right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, I thought you were going to talk about the reporting about athletes using performance-enhancing drugs and those are opportunities to talk to your kids about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a guest who has given a good bit of his life to addressing the needs of young people, not only before they get to adolescence but after they are in the battle.\u00a0 Glenn Williams joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Glenn, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 Glad to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Glenn has written a book called <em>Talking Smack<\/em>.\u00a0 He is an Australian \u2013 in fact, you can tell he\u2019s from the south \u2013 south of the equator.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He says, \u201cG\u2019day, y\u2019all.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 Glenn has three children.\u00a0 In fact, he\u2019s right in the middle of this with his wife, Natalie.\u00a0 You\u2019re in what I call \u201cThe Golden Years.\u201d\u00a0 All your kids are 11 or 12 and younger, so you\u2019ve not yet collided \u2013 truly collided\u2014with the culture.\u00a0 There are still under your control.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 So, all the more reason to be prepared, don\u2019t you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 A lot of parents aren\u2019t prepared.\u00a0 They\u2019re na\u00efve.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, they get lulled to sleep in the middle of it, because you look at your kids and you think, \u201cThey\u2019re so sweet and they\u2019re so innocent.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, it\u2019s na\u00efvet\u00e9 or it\u2019s just feeling comfortable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or we just think our kids are just a long way away from dealing with an issue like this.\u00a0 Let me speak to that.\u00a0 There\u2019s one story that comes to mind:\u00a0 Jackie and Brian -- again, just your average couple.\u00a0 Jackie and Brian and their daughter Lisa went out to see a movie one night.\u00a0 They came home to something that they never thought they would experience.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey pulled into the driveway, and there\u2019s their son, Gary.\u00a0 Gary is fifteen years old and he\u2019s clearly in distress.\u00a0 You can see that Gary has been beaten quite severely.\u00a0 All the lights in the house are on, the doors are open.\u00a0 So again, you start thinking the worst:\u00a0 \u201cWhat is going on here?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBrian, the father, runs into the house, and he can see that it\u2019s a mess.\u00a0 Literally, things have been turned upside down and anything of any value had been taken \u2013 the television, the stereo, the camera \u2013 anything of any value.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they later found out from Gary was that Gary had, what he thought innocently, started just experimenting with marijuana.\u00a0 He thought it was kind of cool and he enjoyed the high- the feeling that it gave him and thought that he could control that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut before long he realized that somebody who was providing him with marijuana would eventually come to collect.\u00a0 They\u2019d want payment for that, and Gary clearly wasn\u2019t in a position where he could afford to pay for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So how did he get the drugs in the first place if he wasn\u2019t paying cash for them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 He got it all on credit.\u00a0 People are often given drugs on credit with the full knowledge that one day they are going to have to pay for that.\u00a0 Typically what happens is it gets closer to payment day and I don\u2019t have the money and so I\u2019m going to have to steal something or I\u2019m going to have to take something out of mom or dad\u2019s wallet or purse and hopefully they won\u2019t notice and so on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut particularly when the habit becomes quite severe, it gets incredibly expensive.\u00a0 So this is what had happened to Gary.\u00a0 A group of guys had come to collect payment, and he didn\u2019t have the money, so they went inside the house and took everything of value.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, again, this was a normal family, Dennis.\u00a0 And I remember Jackie talking about this later.\u00a0 She said, \u201cWhere did I go wrong?\u00a0 Did I fail as a mother?\u00a0 How could all this have been going on under my eyes and I had not even noticed?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t even realize that there were certain signs or symptoms that I needed to be aware of that would be indicators of drug use.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBrian\u2019s response as the father was quite different.\u00a0 He kind of wanted to live in a denial.\u00a0 \u201cWell, it\u2019s just a passing phase.\u00a0 Gary\u2019s a teenager; he\u2019ll get over it.\u00a0 It\u2019s normal for teens just to try something and to move on.\u201d\u00a0 The problem here was that Gary as the user didn\u2019t just move one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I\u2019m thinking right now, Bob, and you remember this interview with John Vawter.\u00a0 John was a pastor, and he would put himself in the same camp as these parents.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t realize it was going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 And he was very transparent as he had the conversation with us.\u00a0 In fact, we were able to get his daughter, Stephanie, on the line and to talk with her about what had been going on as well.\u00a0 Their candor in talking about this issue, I think was very helpful for our listeners, and we want folks to hear just a little slice of what that conversation sounded like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John:<\/strong>\u00a0 Later on, I said to Stephanie, \u201cHow could I be so stupid to have missed the fact that you used heroin for a year and a half?\u201d\u00a0 Her immediate response was the statement that has now helped lots of parents.\u00a0 She said, \u201cDad, you can\u2019t be a successful addict unless you\u2019re a great liar.\u201d\u00a0 Another way of saying that is, she said \u201cMy ability to lie is better than your ability to discern.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephanie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had tried LSD.\u00a0 I had tried cocaine, and that was experimental and short-lived because they didn\u2019t give me the effect that I was looking for.\u00a0 And then when I did heroin for the first time I thought, \u201cWow, I don\u2019t have to feel anything right now.\u00a0 That was the feeling I had been looking for, was the feeling of nothing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John:<\/strong>\u00a0 There were a few times when Susan, her mother, and I talked about the fact that she seemed to be a little aimless in Denver.\u00a0 Was she in fact in school?\u00a0 Why did she seem to move from job to job?\u00a0 In one sense it was a complete shock, and in another sense it brought us an answer to some questions we had been asking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephanie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hadn\u2019t any clue what I would do if I wasn\u2019t doing heroin.\u00a0 I had no idea how to live without something medicating my feelings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our son called.\u00a0 He said, \u201cMom and Dad, are you sitting down?\u201d\u00a0 And before we could sit down he said, \u201cStephanie is using heroin.\u201d\u00a0 All I could tell you is at that moment I had been in ministry for over thirty years, I have talked a lot about the sovereignty of God, I\u2019ve talked a lot about God being close to us during tough times, and I honestly could not breathe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first emotion we felt after fear, and the fear was overwhelming, because Stephanie was in Juarez, Mexico, was one of asking the question, \u201cWhat have we done wrong?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Stephanie:<\/strong>\u00a0 The whole idea behind going to Mexico was that this drug dealer who lived in the basement of my house who had actually become my only friend at that point; we went to Mexico with the intent of trying to wean ourselves off heroin by using prescription drugs.\u00a0 And as crazy an idea as that might sound to someone who\u2019s not an addict, to us that sounded perfectly normal.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were going to go to Mexico, get prescription drugs, go to the beach and try to wean ourselves off heroin, because detoxing from heroin is not pleasant.\u00a0 But then we went to Mexico and trouble finds trouble.\u00a0 And we found heroin that was more potent than we had been doing.\u00a0 The desire to continue being that high superseded any desire to want to stop.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>John:<\/strong>\u00a0 And what we realized is that we did not have the luxury of time to sit around saying \u201cWere we bad parents?\u201d or \u201cWhat are people going to say about us?\u201d or \u201cWhat are people going to think?\u201d\u00a0 We needed to try to find out how we could rescue her from where she was at that time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Parents can beat themselves up here.\u00a0 Even parents who do a good job preparing their kids to face drugs and alcohol abuse and all the various issues they\u2019re going to face \u2013 parents can do a great job but there is still the human element here where a fifteen-year-old is a fifteen-year-old. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s young.\u00a0 He\u2019s impressionable and in the words of Proverbs, he can be a fool.\u00a0 He can make a wrong choice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 And again as parents, just understanding that our kids are literally every day bombarded with messages about drugs and about alcohol.\u00a0 You know, whether we like it or not, it\u2019s in the newspaper, it\u2019s on the news, it\u2019s on television, and it\u2019s in sporting events.\u00a0 Kids are exposed to this.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo don\u2019t just think, \u201cWell, my school is a safe place.\u00a0 My kid\u2019s in youth group, and youth group is a safe place.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s not necessarily about those things per se; it\u2019s about your child is being literally bombarded day in and day out with these advertisements and they are making value judgments about what they\u2019re hearing and what they\u2019re seeing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what are you telling your son to do if maybe someone comes up and offers your eleven-year-old a heroin starter kit?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You mentioned a heroin starter kit, and I thought to myself, \u201cA ten- or eleven-year-old doesn\u2019t like to get a shot from a doctor, so somebody is going to come up to them with a needle and they\u2019re going to go \u2018Oh, that looks cool\u2019?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or some powder to ingest or whatever.\u00a0 Again, what I would say to my son, or what I have said to my son in that context there, Dennis, is that \u201cListen, you don\u2019t accept anything from anybody unless you know what that is.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think one of the challenges and what parents need to realize is that drugs are made out to be not just cool, but also very attractive.\u00a0 You have very cool names being assigned to some things.\u00a0 You have very cool colors being assigned to tablets, and some of the different drugs are valuable.\u00a0 So if you don\u2019t know what that is, you don\u2019t take it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Aren\u2019t you concerned that your son is just going to go, \u201cOkay Dad, you\u2019re Dad.\u00a0 You have to say that.\u00a0 I mean that\u2019s . . . yeah . . . but come on, my friend\u2019s using the stuff and nothing bad is happening to him.\u201d\u00a0 Aren\u2019t you concerned that the message you\u2019re trying to preach is going to get marginalized or shoved aside by your kids?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me put that question back to you a different way.\u00a0 If I\u2019m afraid that that would be the reaction of my child, do I therefore not say anything?\u00a0 Because, you know what, if I don\u2019t say anything, I run the risk of my child being totally fooled every single time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 I care enough about my kids to say, \u201cYou know what, they still may make a decision that I would disagree with or make a choice that is going to hurt them or harm them, but it\u2019s not going to be because I didn\u2019t share with them or talk with them about the subject.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It actually happened to me in the ninth grade.\u00a0 I was at my locker and had a guy come up to my locker and he said . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now you lived in St. Louis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not Ozark, Missouri.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was in the bigger city, and I\u2019ll never forget, he came up and he kind of looked both ways and he said, \u201cYou interested in a bag of marijuana?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, before you finish the story, had your parents talked to you about what to do in that situation, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember a conversation about that.\u00a0 You have to remember, let\u2019s see, I\u2019m in the ninth grade, so this was 1970.\u00a0 Drug use was all over the news media in 1970.\u00a0 This was the year I think that Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix both died.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes \u2013 LSD and . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and we\u2019d seen Woodstock and so I\u2019d kind of known what was going on.\u00a0 But I don\u2019t remember Mom and Dad ever sitting down and talking to me and saying, \u201cYou don\u2019t want to mess with this stuff,\u201d or \u201cYou don\u2019t want to do that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I was aware of it, I knew it was there, and so I had the guy come up and say, \u201cYou want a bag of marijuana?\u201d\u00a0 First of all, he was a big guy and I was a little afraid if I said \u201cno\u201d that he might get mad at me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was he offering it for free or for sale?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, he was offering it for sale.\u00a0 I kind of nervously laughed and said, \u201cNo, no I don\u2019t think so.\u00a0 Not today.\u201d\u00a0 And he went on.\u00a0 That was the end of the conversation.\u00a0 But I went home that night and I told my parents what had happened.\u00a0 I told my mom.\u00a0 I said, \u201cGuess what happened to me at school today?\u201d\u00a0 And my mom and dad called the local police officer, had him come out to the house, and I sat down with the detective and I told him what had happened to me at school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Good for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, yes.\u00a0 And we tried to make sure that the big guy didn\u2019t know who it was who had talked to the local police officer, but it wasn\u2019t long after that that I heard about him getting busted.\u00a0 So it does happen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s better said, I think:\u00a0 \u201cIt will happen.\u201d\u00a0 Someway, somehow, the offer of some kind of drug is going to occur with your children between the ages of eight all the way through adolescence on into adulthood.\u00a0 It will happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think back . . . Okay, so why did I say \u201cno\u201d if my parents had not had the conversation?\u00a0 I mean, it was in the news, and I knew that there were people dying from drug use, but I think one of the other factors for me was the fact that my dad drank to excess, so I was probably predisposed away from drugs as a result of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And that\u2019s my question, Glenn.\u00a0 Are there some children who are more at risk to take drugs than others?\u00a0 One of the stories you tell in your book is a child whose parents have been through a divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, in fact researchers on this subject will talk often about risk factors and also protective factors.\u00a0 The more protective factors that exist, then they\u2019ll counter some of those risk factors.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat are risk factors?\u00a0\u00a0 It may be, for example, a child has a low self esteem, lacks a lot of self-confidence.\u00a0\u00a0 It would be a stressful home environment, where perhaps there is a lot of conflict.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t have too many friends, is not very strong in the area of interpersonal skills, does not find it easy to relate to other kids, and so therefore is often left on the outer.\u00a0 Not performing well at school, not engaged in sports, not engaged as a family, so in other words there is not a strong parent-child relationship.\u00a0 All of those things are described as risk factors.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow there are things that can be done to counter that.\u00a0 In the situation you\u2019ve just talked about, where the child does grow up in a home where there has been divorce, what do you do to counter that?\u00a0 Well you counter that by making sure that there\u2019s a good mentor, and that there are strong family relationships that exist for that child.\u00a0 Make sure that there\u2019s a safe place where that child can continue to grow and ask questions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor both parents that are separated, make sure that there\u2019s an investment nonetheless in both of those relationships with the child; there\u2019s still time for that child to actually be close to the mother and the father, albeit in different homes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 To that point, Glenn, what if you\u2019re in a situation where the parents are divorced and there\u2019s some kind of joint custody or at least part-time custody, and the other parent is using drugs or alcohol in excess?\u00a0 What would you say to the parent who is trying to protect the child sending that child into that family experience on a regular basis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 For starters, I\u2019d report the other parent, because obviously that\u2019s going to have an incredibly negative impact, a negative influence on the child.\u00a0 But again, you need to sit down with the child and make sure that the child is aware of what\u2019s going on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHey, listen, dad\u2019s not doing terribly well, he\u2019s drinking excessively, and the reason why he\u2019s doing this is that he\u2019s not coping too well.\u00a0 He obviously misses the family being together in one unit as it was, or there are stresses at work or somewhere else that he\u2019s experiencing, and this is his way of dealing with that.\u00a0 It\u2019s not a healthy way.\u00a0 It\u2019s bad for his health; you\u2019ve already seen it for yourself.\u00a0 It\u2019s not good for the both of you to be together in that context.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you talk about it in spiritual terms?\u00a0 Do you define it as \u201cThis is sin on the part of your mom or your dad?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are two ways you could go with that.\u00a0 You could talk about \u201cthis is sin,\u201d or you could talk about \u201cthis is the consequences of sin or not being in the center of God\u2019s will.\u201d\u00a0 In other words, \u201cWe started fighting; we started arguing, which is not a godly response. . . .\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tScripture says you cannot have two masters in your life, and very, very quickly what you\u2019ll find is alcohol or drugs will be a master in your life.\u00a0 It will dominate your life, it will control your life, and it will influence every decision you make.\u00a0 Is that the sort of life that you want for your child?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis brings me back to another story, if I could just share that quickly, about some of the conflicting messages that we can give our children.\u00a0 I remember the story of Beverly.\u00a0 Beverly came home after an incredibly stressful day at work, she goes into the kitchen, she opens the refrigerator door, pulls out a bottle of wine and pours herself a glass of wine, sits down in the chair and goes, \u201cAh-h-h, just what I needed, just to relax.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow what she didn\u2019t realize was that her fifteen-year-old daughter had come into the kitchen at the same time she just poured that glass and sat down with that expression. Beverly realized at that point, \u201cWow, you know what?\u00a0 I just really sent a conflicting message to my daughter.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, the issue is not the glass of wine here.\u00a0 The issue is the message that went with it.\u00a0 One of the things that I\u2019m very committed to, honestly, is that this is not an issue of judging people for drinking wine or not drinking wine.\u00a0 This is a matter of saying, \u201cListen, just be careful with the messages that you apply to your actions in front of your kids.\u00a0\u00a0 Is that consistent with the message that you\u2019re trying to reinforce in your kid\u2019s life?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about the message for a second, because, honestly, we interacted with our children around this.\u00a0 Our children said, \u201cDad, you just talk too much about this.\u00a0 We don\u2019t need another lecture.\u201d\u00a0 Now I didn\u2019t view it as a lecture.\u00a0 I felt like I was running a good prevent offense trying to protect them from the culture.\u00a0 At what point does a parent overdo it, and honestly, if I had it to do all over again, I don\u2019t know if I\u2019d do it a whole lot different, even with the feedback that I got from our kids at the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Well, I think a parent can overdo it, and again, some of it comes out of almost a sense of guilt.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t start young enough with my children.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t make this a journey, I made it an event, and all of a sudden my kids are getting close to those teen years where they are going to be influenced by others more significantly. . .\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201c. . . so let\u2019s cram as much information in as we can.\u00a0 So obviously that would be overdoing it.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure there\u2019s any science to it, Dennis.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s more about what are the teachable moments available to you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you are sitting down watching the football and there\u2019s an interview about steroids or performance-enhancing drugs, or there\u2019s an article in the newspaper on the front page about a car accident and people are killed because the driver was under the influence.\u00a0 You look for those teachable moments, and believe me, they are there and they are fairly frequent.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTaking real life examples from everyday things that your kids see and hear and experience -- for me, that is a wise use of those.\u00a0 So I think that will probably prevent you from overdoing it because you are actually using examples that are very real in your child\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What I\u2019d want parents to know is that we are responsible to bring the truth of the Bible both from the Scriptures directly but also through our own experience and the lessons we\u2019ve learned in life to our children and give them some boundaries that protect them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFences are put up to keep bad things out and good things in.\u00a0 As you instruct your children, as you hope to educate your children, you\u2019re going to have push back.\u00a0 You know, I\u2019m not responsible for my kids\u2019 push back when it occurred.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Glenn:<\/strong> No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m more responsible to make sure that the boundaries that I\u2019m passing on are done to the very best of my ability with a winsome spirit, not being judgmental, not pointing a finger at people or at things, but at the same time warning them that there are dangers out there that can destroy their lives.\u00a0 They may not like those boundaries, they may question those boundaries.\u00a0 In fact, more than likely, you need to know as a parent, they are going to question those boundaries.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just sitting here thinking if you\u2019re not getting a little push back, then you\u2019re probably not going far enough in the conversation with your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Either that, or you\u2019ve got a firstborn who is just compliant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think the point is, as parents we\u2019ve got to be proactive.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to have a strategy; we can\u2019t just hope it doesn\u2019t happen and then I\u2019ll talk with my kids about this if I start to suspect something.\u00a0 We need to engage on this issue when they are preteens; during their teenage years we need to be looping back around and having this kind of a conversation with our sons and daughters.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the resources that will help us with that is the book that Glenn has written, which is called <em>Talking Smack, <\/em>and which this week we are making available to listeners who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation.\u00a0 We\u2019d like to get this book in as many hands as possible.\u00a0 All you have to do is go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, make a donation, and then request the book.\u00a0 You do that by typing the word \u201cTALK\u201d in the key code box on the online donation form.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr call 1-800-FLTODAY and make a donation over the phone and just say, \u201cI\u2019d like that book on drugs.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s called <em>Talking Smack<\/em>, and we\u2019ll get a copy of the book out to you.\u00a0 We hope a lot of parents will get it and read it and start engaging on this issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to say we appreciate those of you who do help support this ministry with your donations.\u00a0 It\u2019s those donations that keep us on the air on this station and on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 So we\u2019re grateful for whatever you\u2019re able to do in support of the ministry and just want to say thanks in advance for your financial support.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, if you\u2019d like a copy of the book <em>Talking Smack<\/em>, make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com and type the word \u201cTALK\u201d in the key code box, or call 1-800-FLTODAY, make a donation over the phone, and ask for a copy of the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow we want to talk about what you do as a parent if you find out your son or daughter has used or is using drugs or alcohol.\u00a0 Glenn Williams is going to be back with us; hope you can be back as well as we continue this conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2010 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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