{"id":302123,"date":"2010-10-07T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-10-07T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/modeling-honor-toward-your-parents\/"},"modified":"2010-10-07T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-10-07T15:00:00","slug":"modeling-honor-toward-your-parents","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/modeling-honor-toward-your-parents\/","title":{"rendered":"Modeling Honor Toward Your Parents"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you honor your mother and father?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-10-07.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.47M","filesize_raw":"27759200","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2833],"tags":[4929,4722,4159],"podcast_series":[7760],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302123","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-godly-legacy","tag-christian-life","tag-christianity","tag-gospel","podcast_series-the-profound-power-of-a-legacy","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302123\/modeling-honor-toward-your-parents","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302123\/modeling-honor-toward-your-parents","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"unssSta9Qa\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/modeling-honor-toward-your-parents\/\">Modeling Honor Toward Your Parents<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/modeling-honor-toward-your-parents\/embed\/#?secret=unssSta9Qa\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Modeling Honor Toward Your Parents&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"unssSta9Qa\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-10-07.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-10-07.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 You want your life to matter for eternity, right?\u00a0 You want your legacy to be a legacy that honors God.\u00a0 Dennis Rainey says if that\u2019s the case then you need to keep the 5<sup>th<\/sup> commandment to honor your father and your mother.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We are talking about the first commandment that has a promise associated with it.\u00a0 We are talking about a commandment on the level of having no other God before you, of not committing adultery, of not lying that God chiseled into stone a command for us generationally to honor our parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, October 7.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We are going to see today what connection is between honoring our parents and leaving a legacy that has an eternal impact.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>thanks for joining us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Can you hold off on the broadcast just for a second?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, we\u2019re on the air.\u00a0 I am sorry Mr. Rainey we are on the air.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 I want to ask our listeners a question.\u00a0 Have you ever felt like there are books of the Bible that have disappeared on you, where you just couldn\u2019t find them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Where is Nahum, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, that one but just now it was Exodus.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Exodus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know Bob.\u00a0 Just chill.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you are talking Obadiah I understand what you are talking about.\u00a0 But you get to Exodus, it\u2019s right up there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 I know.\u00a0 There are a lot of pages in there but it had disappeared on me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What are you looking for?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, I am looking for Exodus 20:12 but we are talking today about leaving a legacy and what kind of legacy you were left as a person and what kind of legacy you are going to leave.\u00a0 What we were trying to do is give you some components of how to leave a godly legacy to the next generation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to start today with little quiz for you Bob.\u00a0 I want you to just describe the legacy of the following names.\u00a0 Alright you ready?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Describe the legacy of these men and women: Darwin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A legacy of confusion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Okay, Muhammad Ali.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh it's a legacy of greatness.\u00a0 He is the greatest.\u00a0 I mean that\u2019s what you think of when you think of.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Float like a butterfly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sing like a bee, champion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Ready for the next one?\u00a0 Your mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow that\u2019s a switch right there from Darwin to Ali to my mom.\u00a0 A legacy of generosity that\u2019s what she has left.\u00a0 If you were to go to her children and grandchildren it would be her generosity that would stand out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Okay next one Howard Stern.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh that\u2019s a legacy of depravity.\u00a0 I mean I don\u2019t know how else to describe it.\u00a0 It\u2019s a vulgar depravity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes, okay.\u00a0 One last one, your dad?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 My dad\u2019s legacy is a legacy of provision and protection.\u00a0 My dad was a World War II veteran.\u00a0 He grew up in the depression.\u00a0 The focus of his life was to protect and provide for his family and he did it that\u2019s his legacy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 This exercise is just meant to pull us back to the big picture and realize everybody is in the process of leaving a track record.\u00a0 We are leaving a trail and the question is what kind of trail is it going to be?\u00a0 What kind of trail do you want to leave to the next generation?\u00a0\u00a0 We have been talking about components of your legacy. So far we have talked about three components.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first one is I think your concept of God.\u00a0 Do you fear God and do you live your life in the presence of God.\u00a0 The second one is who is your master?\u00a0 Who is the authority of your life?\u00a0 Is it Jesus Christ or is it you?\u00a0 The third one is getting the loves of your life in order, just talking about who you love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis fourth one that I want to talk about I think for some of our listeners they are going to turn their heads and say what, that\u2019s a part of your legacy?\u00a0 It's found in Exodus that book that hid itself from me a while ago.\u00a0 Exodus 20:12\u2014I call this the Forgotten Commandment.\u00a0 Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.\u00a0 Other translations talk about that it may be well within.\u00a0 And it is really to talk about I think a satisfying life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think this fourth component of living a godly legacy is our relationship with our parents.\u00a0 Do we honor them or do we dishonor them?\u00a0 Here is really the issue in why our relationship with our parents is a part, a key part of our legacy.\u00a0 How you honor or dishonor your parents will be noticed and absorbed by the next generation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPeople are watching.\u00a0 Your children are like radar units locked on you.\u00a0 I am grateful I had a mom and dad who didn\u2019t model this perfectly but they modelled it.\u00a0 We lived in a small town in South West Missouri and after dinner dad would push back from the table and he said I will see it about an hour.\u00a0 I remember in the summer time he just walked out the house and he will go see his mom.\u00a0 His mom lived to be over 100 years of age. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then I remember how my mom treated her parents.\u00a0 Her mom died of a stroke.\u00a0 When she was in her 80s they have been married for over 50 years.\u00a0 Bertha was her name and my grandfather\u2019s name was OT\u2014Oliver Theodore, so what a great pair OT and Bertha.\u00a0\u00a0 OT was a white haired strong, stout, sturdy man 6\u20193\u201d or so.\u00a0 Bertha was just a little spit of a woman.\u00a0 She was just spindly and small but when she died my mom took my grandfather, OT, into our home and we became his family and he didn\u2019t live long without his life\u2019s mate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are studies done on this and point out that when the elderly lose a lifelong spouse it is like their heart breaks and they want to go where they are.\u00a0 OT didn\u2019t live long but my mom provided a home in caring for him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Bob, I think the strength of that generationally to look at my mom and my dad and watch them care for their parents and demonstrate to me as a boy.\u00a0 I am telling you I picked up on it the attitudes.\u00a0 They were not a burden taking care of them.\u00a0 It was a privilege.\u00a0 They honored them with their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Now you know many of our listeners hear you talk about OT and Bertha and having the whole family over and they think well if that was my heritage, if I looked back at my parents or grandparents and saw a faithful grandma that would be one thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that\u2019s not the heritage I have that\u2019s not the track record.\u00a0 So to think of honoring my parents given all of the junk that is back there seems hypocritical to me.\u00a0 And yet you are saying that what I do with that is one of the key components of the legacy I leave to my children and the future generations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 If you don\u2019t honor them somehow and don\u2019t find a way to express that from your heart that bitterness will overtake you.\u00a0 Those closest to you will know that you are imprisoned in a self-imposed prison of anger and resentment over what was never there, what never occurred, may be the evil that did occur.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know there are those listening to our broadcast right now who had evil parents.\u00a0 I realize for some of them they are thinking I am sending them back off into the evil.\u00a0 I am not talking about you being abused again by your parents in anyway whatsoever.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I am talking about searching your heart and saying how can I as an adult demonstrate to the next generation that I honor my parents?\u00a0 The fifth commandment in the Ten Commandments is the first commandment that has a promise associated with it.\u00a0 We are talking about a commandment on the level of having no other God before you of not committing adultery, of not lying that God chiseled into stone a command for us generationally to honor our parents.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is something bigger here Bob than just how we feel.\u00a0 I think what happens as people move toward honor is they finally are able in many cases not all, but in many cases they are able to forgive.\u00a0 And finally able to see their parents for who they are. Broken people with their own set of needs and perhaps realize that maybe their parents were abused or had some evil things happen to them as they grew up.\u00a0 But what they determined they are going to do by the grace of God they have received and the forgiveness of Jesus Christ that you have experienced.\u00a0 You are going to return good and not evil.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Talk to the person who would say you know I have kind of walled off the past and my parents and the background.\u00a0 My own children we don\u2019t talk much about it.\u00a0 They don\u2019t know the dark stories from all of that.\u00a0 They just know that we don\u2019t go see grandma and grandpa very often at all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Or when we do it\u2019s tense or it's distant.\u00a0 There is no real relationship occurring.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 So my kids have asked from time to time you know about why we don\u2019t go see grandma more, I just kind of kept that walled off and tried to protect them from it.\u00a0 Are you saying that they are picking up more about that relationship than I am letting on?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 I am telling you, you are modelling something.\u00a0 The question is are you modeling in how you are treating your parents how you want your kids to treat you when you are that age?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was talking with a friend a few months ago who was about to go home to see her mom.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know all of the background of this and frankly that really isn\u2019t relevant here.\u00a0 But I could tell there was some tension.\u00a0 Some sense of not wanting to go but they were getting ready to have to go spend a lot of time because it was cold where that particular mom lived.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said is there a way I can federal express you my book, <em>The Greatest Gift You Will Ever Give Your Parents<\/em>.\u00a0 She said there really isn\u2019t but I have a friend who has the book.\u00a0 I am going to go over to her house and get it.\u00a0 She did.\u00a0 After the trip was over I got an e-mail from my friend said thank you for pressing me into the situation.\u00a0 She said it was really hard for me to write that tribute.\u00a0 It was even harder to read it to her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now this was a tribute that she had written to her mom that\u2019s one of the key assignments you have in the book you talked about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes and you and I laughed about this all the time.\u00a0 I have always said, yes you got to print it, and mat it, and frame it.\u00a0 Put it in a frame and make something formal out of it so it\u2019s not just a letter that can be folded up and put in a drawer.\u00a0 I want a statement that is going to be hung somewhere.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe read this tribute to her mom, and she said it blew our family away. It was incredibly powerful, and she said incredibly healing first in me.\u00a0 I would say Bob and you have read some of the letters because I have passed them onto you.\u00a0 The most often repeated phrase is I thought I was letting my parents out of a prison.\u00a0 But when I find a way to honor them by writing a tribute to them I realized that I was the one who was imprisoned.\u00a0 I was the one as I wrote that tribute and expressed that sense of honor that was getting out and that\u2019s basically what she said.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe question is will it take some courage?\u00a0 Yes, but I think it\u2019s powerful.\u00a0 I think if you can do it, take your kids with you, and let your kids watch.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had some great stories of kids being in a semi-circle around a pair of elderly parents and the son or daughter, reading a tribute are several sons, several daughters reading tributes as adults to their parents.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just think it\u2019s one of life\u2019s most important lessons if God went to the trouble to put it in the Ten Commandments and said to us this is the first commandment that begins with a promise.\u00a0 If you want to live a good long life keep this commandment.\u00a0 I think we better pay attention.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 We have listeners who have drawn a line in the sand and have said our family is going to be different going forward than the family I grew up in.\u00a0 So as they think about leaving a legacy to their children, they think about whether that line in the sand starts.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t look past that, we don\u2019t look back.\u00a0 We are just looking at that line and saying we are going to be different from here.\u00a0 As they hear you talk about how you honor your parents and the legacy that they are going to leave.\u00a0 They are thinking well I am basing my legacy not on what happened back in the past, it\u2019s based on the direction I am leading things and so can I just let the past, be the past.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am saying if the past isn\u2019t dealt with in some appropriate, healthy, spiritual, emotional and I think yes, intellectual way, because God has made us with many dimensions.\u00a0 If we don\u2019t deal with the past, the past is going to deal with us.\u00a0 That\u2019s not just a cute saying, it\u2019s a reality.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have got a letter in my hands that I have received about five years ago from a listener, her name is Debby.\u00a0 She just wrote me a letter to tell me what great joy it brought her to finally sit down and write her dad a tribute.\u00a0 She said the big day came to present her dad with the tribute and she had not only the written tribute but also some pictures of her and her dad, when she was a baby, a young girl and then on her wedding day when he was taking her down the aisle and then she read that tribute to him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to read what she said here.\u00a0 She said when I was finished my dad said that was the best gift anyone has ever given me.\u00a0 She said I gave my dad lots of hugs and kisses that day telling him how much I loved him.\u00a0 I never had any idea that that would be the last time I would ever see my dad this side of heaven.\u00a0 My dad died off an aneurysm the very next day.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow the issue Bob is I think one of regrets here of not having any regrets of having said what needs to be said while your parents or your mom or your dad is still alive.\u00a0 I think it may be a part of why God is keeping them alive so that you can mend some fences and perhaps say some things that need to be said now when they are alive and not wait till they are gone to say them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 What you are saying here is that our lives are marked by the influence of our parents.\u00a0 We need to acknowledge that they have made a mark and then we need to look back and find a way to express honor, even in those dark situations is there a way to honor the past?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think of Josh McDowell being in our program and his dad was an alcoholic.\u00a0 Josh said I came to the point where I thanked God before my dad and for the influence he had on my life because it made me the man I am today, and I like the man I am today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 You know what I think Bob?\u00a0 I think of an opportunity we had here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, to surprise arguably one of the most influential Christian leaders of our day by having his son share a tribute to him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 We were getting ready to do an interview with the Dr. James Dobson \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Who, by the way, didn\u2019t get surprised very many times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 We were talking about our work together, our organizations and how they worked together in caring for the plight of the orphan.\u00a0 Dr. Dobson and his wife, Shirley, are adopted parents.\u00a0 Their son Ryan was adopted.\u00a0 Unbeknownst to Dr. Dobson we called Ryan and said, would you reflect a little bit on your mom and dad and then would you give them a verbal tribute.\u00a0 So when we sat down with Dr. Dobson we said we have something we want to play for you.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t know what was coming, did he?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He didn\u2019t.\u00a0 It was really fun to surprise him.\u00a0 But you know what was really fun was to see the look on his face, because he was quite emotional by the time the tribute was over.\u00a0\u00a0 Even Dr. James Dobson needs to know that his life has imprinted his own children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan<\/strong>:\u00a0 Growing up in the household I am who I am because of you.\u00a0 I am a Dobson and to be raised in a household and to see daily someone stand up for the word of God and to follow God even when it seems like its not making sense that changes people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have the greatest situation because I have parents that not only modeled a faith in God unlike any other place I could get it, but they modeled a healthy, loving relationship.\u00a0 You have been married for over 40 years and I hope to have that some day.\u00a0 I appreciate it and I love you guys.\u00a0 I know you are going to be great, great, great grandparents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s what a legacy is all about, isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It really is and it\u2019s just interesting to watch what happened in that studio that day Bob, because although we had taped Ryan\u2019s tribute to his mom and dad earlier, he was in the studio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He showed up, yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>With his dad as that was played.\u00a0 It\u2019s just right to go back to the previous generation and return honor, and good words, and esteem them, and value them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod knew what he was doing when he put that in the Ten Commandments.\u00a0 As if we didn\u2019t need to know that it just goes powerful.\u00a0 To hear Dr. Dobson, obviously respond to his son and with his words of affirmation.\u00a0 That\u2019s how it\u2019s intended to occur, even in the midst of all the imperfections of the Dobson family, or the Lepine family, or Rainey family.\u00a0 God\u2019s word was meant to be applied and lived out.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 You referenced earlier the book that you wrote called <em>The Best Gift You Can Ever Give Your Parents<\/em> where you talk about this concept of honoring your parents with the formal tribute and I know some of our listeners have heard you talk about that subject before.\u00a0 There are a couple of months to go between now and Christmas and there maybe listeners who would say this is the year I have to do that as a Christmas gift for my mom, or my dad, or for both of my parents.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to our website <a href=\"http:\/\/www.familylifetoday.com\">www.familylifetoday.com<\/a> and there is more information about the book available there.\u00a0 Again our website is <a href=\"http:\/\/www.familylifetoday.com\">www.familylifetoday.com<\/a> and I should also mention that all this week we have had listening into this series a major motion picture star, Larry the Cucumber has been tuned in.\u00a0 Larry welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Larry the Cucumber:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Hey Bob thanks, thanks for having me back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What it took to be known as a major motion picture star?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Larry the Cucumber:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I would have never guessed you know the most I had ever aspired to before was maybe a side dish.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A nice cobb salad perhaps, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Larry the Cucumber:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes that\u2019s right maybe a little salt and vinegar sprinkled on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well the legacy and this is what we have been talking about on the series, talking about having a meaningful life.\u00a0 That theme is at the heart of the new DVD called <em>It\u2019s a Meaningful Life<\/em> that you star in, and it\u2019s just now out in stores and of course we have got it here on our FamilyLife Today Resource Center, but this is a story about really the realignment of life priorities.\u00a0 In the very beginning the thing that mattered most to you in this story was winning the football game, right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Larry the Cucumber:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes winning the football game and what that was going to do with the rest of my life and it turns out Morty Bumble played by Mr. Lunt.\u00a0 I am sure you are familiar with Mr. Lunt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Of course I know Mr. Lunt, yes we are good friends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Larry the Cucumber:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh yes he is a good friend in real life but you know he sort of steals my past and steals my thunder while he is at it.\u00a0 He goes on to have a kind of a life of being famous and getting what he wants and you know I stay in Rockwell, that\u2019s our little hometown there and live my life there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am not as happy with it because I see everything that Morty is going through and what he is getting in and you know I get a little down on myself and wonder wow would could I have done different and could my life had been better?\u00a0 I go on a little train ride and I learned that God has a plan for my life and I am exactly where I am supposed to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s a key message.\u00a0 Again it\u2019s faithfulness in the place that God has put you and I think too often folks look at their life and they think I didn\u2019t make the big splash I thought I might make.\u00a0 But The Bible teaches us that it\u2019s not about making splashes, it\u2019s about faithfulness in the place God puts you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Larry the Cucumber:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s right Bob, that\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, and again I hope our listeners will get a copy of the brand new <em>Veggietales<\/em> DVD called <em>It\u2019s a Meaningful Life<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact this week we are making it available to any listener who can help support the Ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>with a donation of any amount.\u00a0 We are listener-supported so those donations are what keep us going here at FamilyLife, and we are asking you to go online or call 1800-FL-TODAY, make whatever donation you can make and feel free to request a copy of the brand new DVD called <em>It\u2019s a Meaningful Life<\/em> from our friends at <em>Veggietales<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you make your donation online at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.familylifetoday.com\">www.familylifetoday.com<\/a> you will need to type the word \u201cMEANING\u201d into the key code box on the online donation form.\u00a0 If you call 1800-FL-TODAY and make your donation over the phone, you can ask for the new <em>It\u2019s a Meaningful Life<\/em> DVD when you make the donation and we are happy to send it out to you.\u00a0 We very much appreciate your financial support.\u00a0 As I said, without you this program would not exist and so thanks for partnering with us and making this program possible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you will be back with us tomorrow as we are going to continue to look at the legacy we will leave to a generation we will not see.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2010 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.47M"],"filesize_raw":["27759200"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302123.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302123.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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you honor your mother and father?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-10-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 You want your life to matter for eternity, right?\u00a0 You want your legacy to be a legacy that honors God.\u00a0 Dennis Rainey says if that\u2019s the case then you need to keep the 5<sup>th<\/sup> commandment to honor your father and your mother.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We are talking about the first commandment that has a promise associated with it.\u00a0 We are talking about a commandment on the level of having no other God before you, of not committing adultery, of not lying that God chiseled into stone a command for us generationally to honor our parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, October 7.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We are going to see today what connection is between honoring our parents and leaving a legacy that has an eternal impact.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>thanks for joining us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Can you hold off on the broadcast just for a second?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, we\u2019re on the air.\u00a0 I am sorry Mr. Rainey we are on the air.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 I want to ask our listeners a question.\u00a0 Have you ever felt like there are books of the Bible that have disappeared on you, where you just couldn\u2019t find them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Where is Nahum, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, that one but just now it was Exodus.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Exodus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know Bob.\u00a0 Just chill.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you are talking Obadiah I understand what you are talking about.\u00a0 But you get to Exodus, it\u2019s right up there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 I know.\u00a0 There are a lot of pages in there but it had disappeared on me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What are you looking for?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, I am looking for Exodus 20:12 but we are talking today about leaving a legacy and what kind of legacy you were left as a person and what kind of legacy you are going to leave.\u00a0 What we were trying to do is give you some components of how to leave a godly legacy to the next generation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to start today with little quiz for you Bob.\u00a0 I want you to just describe the legacy of the following names.\u00a0 Alright you ready?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Describe the legacy of these men and women: Darwin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A legacy of confusion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Okay, Muhammad Ali.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh it's a legacy of greatness.\u00a0 He is the greatest.\u00a0 I mean that\u2019s what you think of when you think of.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Float like a butterfly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sing like a bee, champion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Ready for the next one?\u00a0 Your mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow that\u2019s a switch right there from Darwin to Ali to my mom.\u00a0 A legacy of generosity that\u2019s what she has left.\u00a0 If you were to go to her children and grandchildren it would be her generosity that would stand out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Okay next one Howard Stern.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh that\u2019s a legacy of depravity.\u00a0 I mean I don\u2019t know how else to describe it.\u00a0 It\u2019s a vulgar depravity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes, okay.\u00a0 One last one, your dad?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 My dad\u2019s legacy is a legacy of provision and protection.\u00a0 My dad was a World War II veteran.\u00a0 He grew up in the depression.\u00a0 The focus of his life was to protect and provide for his family and he did it that\u2019s his legacy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 This exercise is just meant to pull us back to the big picture and realize everybody is in the process of leaving a track record.\u00a0 We are leaving a trail and the question is what kind of trail is it going to be?\u00a0 What kind of trail do you want to leave to the next generation?\u00a0\u00a0 We have been talking about components of your legacy. So far we have talked about three components.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first one is I think your concept of God.\u00a0 Do you fear God and do you live your life in the presence of God.\u00a0 The second one is who is your master?\u00a0 Who is the authority of your life?\u00a0 Is it Jesus Christ or is it you?\u00a0 The third one is getting the loves of your life in order, just talking about who you love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis fourth one that I want to talk about I think for some of our listeners they are going to turn their heads and say what, that\u2019s a part of your legacy?\u00a0 It's found in Exodus that book that hid itself from me a while ago.\u00a0 Exodus 20:12\u2014I call this the Forgotten Commandment.\u00a0 Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.\u00a0 Other translations talk about that it may be well within.\u00a0 And it is really to talk about I think a satisfying life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think this fourth component of living a godly legacy is our relationship with our parents.\u00a0 Do we honor them or do we dishonor them?\u00a0 Here is really the issue in why our relationship with our parents is a part, a key part of our legacy.\u00a0 How you honor or dishonor your parents will be noticed and absorbed by the next generation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPeople are watching.\u00a0 Your children are like radar units locked on you.\u00a0 I am grateful I had a mom and dad who didn\u2019t model this perfectly but they modelled it.\u00a0 We lived in a small town in South West Missouri and after dinner dad would push back from the table and he said I will see it about an hour.\u00a0 I remember in the summer time he just walked out the house and he will go see his mom.\u00a0 His mom lived to be over 100 years of age. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then I remember how my mom treated her parents.\u00a0 Her mom died of a stroke.\u00a0 When she was in her 80s they have been married for over 50 years.\u00a0 Bertha was her name and my grandfather\u2019s name was OT\u2014Oliver Theodore, so what a great pair OT and Bertha.\u00a0\u00a0 OT was a white haired strong, stout, sturdy man 6\u20193\u201d or so.\u00a0 Bertha was just a little spit of a woman.\u00a0 She was just spindly and small but when she died my mom took my grandfather, OT, into our home and we became his family and he didn\u2019t live long without his life\u2019s mate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are studies done on this and point out that when the elderly lose a lifelong spouse it is like their heart breaks and they want to go where they are.\u00a0 OT didn\u2019t live long but my mom provided a home in caring for him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Bob, I think the strength of that generationally to look at my mom and my dad and watch them care for their parents and demonstrate to me as a boy.\u00a0 I am telling you I picked up on it the attitudes.\u00a0 They were not a burden taking care of them.\u00a0 It was a privilege.\u00a0 They honored them with their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Now you know many of our listeners hear you talk about OT and Bertha and having the whole family over and they think well if that was my heritage, if I looked back at my parents or grandparents and saw a faithful grandma that would be one thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that\u2019s not the heritage I have that\u2019s not the track record.\u00a0 So to think of honoring my parents given all of the junk that is back there seems hypocritical to me.\u00a0 And yet you are saying that what I do with that is one of the key components of the legacy I leave to my children and the future generations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 If you don\u2019t honor them somehow and don\u2019t find a way to express that from your heart that bitterness will overtake you.\u00a0 Those closest to you will know that you are imprisoned in a self-imposed prison of anger and resentment over what was never there, what never occurred, may be the evil that did occur.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know there are those listening to our broadcast right now who had evil parents.\u00a0 I realize for some of them they are thinking I am sending them back off into the evil.\u00a0 I am not talking about you being abused again by your parents in anyway whatsoever.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I am talking about searching your heart and saying how can I as an adult demonstrate to the next generation that I honor my parents?\u00a0 The fifth commandment in the Ten Commandments is the first commandment that has a promise associated with it.\u00a0 We are talking about a commandment on the level of having no other God before you of not committing adultery, of not lying that God chiseled into stone a command for us generationally to honor our parents.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is something bigger here Bob than just how we feel.\u00a0 I think what happens as people move toward honor is they finally are able in many cases not all, but in many cases they are able to forgive.\u00a0 And finally able to see their parents for who they are. Broken people with their own set of needs and perhaps realize that maybe their parents were abused or had some evil things happen to them as they grew up.\u00a0 But what they determined they are going to do by the grace of God they have received and the forgiveness of Jesus Christ that you have experienced.\u00a0 You are going to return good and not evil.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Talk to the person who would say you know I have kind of walled off the past and my parents and the background.\u00a0 My own children we don\u2019t talk much about it.\u00a0 They don\u2019t know the dark stories from all of that.\u00a0 They just know that we don\u2019t go see grandma and grandpa very often at all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>: Or when we do it\u2019s tense or it's distant.\u00a0 There is no real relationship occurring.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 So my kids have asked from time to time you know about why we don\u2019t go see grandma more, I just kind of kept that walled off and tried to protect them from it.\u00a0 Are you saying that they are picking up more about that relationship than I am letting on?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 I am telling you, you are modelling something.\u00a0 The question is are you modeling in how you are treating your parents how you want your kids to treat you when you are that age?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was talking with a friend a few months ago who was about to go home to see her mom.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know all of the background of this and frankly that really isn\u2019t relevant here.\u00a0 But I could tell there was some tension.\u00a0 Some sense of not wanting to go but they were getting ready to have to go spend a lot of time because it was cold where that particular mom lived.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said is there a way I can federal express you my book, <em>The Greatest Gift You Will Ever Give Your Parents<\/em>.\u00a0 She said there really isn\u2019t but I have a friend who has the book.\u00a0 I am going to go over to her house and get it.\u00a0 She did.\u00a0 After the trip was over I got an e-mail from my friend said thank you for pressing me into the situation.\u00a0 She said it was really hard for me to write that tribute.\u00a0 It was even harder to read it to her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now this was a tribute that she had written to her mom that\u2019s one of the key assignments you have in the book you talked about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes and you and I laughed about this all the time.\u00a0 I have always said, yes you got to print it, and mat it, and frame it.\u00a0 Put it in a frame and make something formal out of it so it\u2019s not just a letter that can be folded up and put in a drawer.\u00a0 I want a statement that is going to be hung somewhere.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe read this tribute to her mom, and she said it blew our family away. It was incredibly powerful, and she said incredibly healing first in me.\u00a0 I would say Bob and you have read some of the letters because I have passed them onto you.\u00a0 The most often repeated phrase is I thought I was letting my parents out of a prison.\u00a0 But when I find a way to honor them by writing a tribute to them I realized that I was the one who was imprisoned.\u00a0 I was the one as I wrote that tribute and expressed that sense of honor that was getting out and that\u2019s basically what she said.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe question is will it take some courage?\u00a0 Yes, but I think it\u2019s powerful.\u00a0 I think if you can do it, take your kids with you, and let your kids watch.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had some great stories of kids being in a semi-circle around a pair of elderly parents and the son or daughter, reading a tribute are several sons, several daughters reading tributes as adults to their parents.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just think it\u2019s one of life\u2019s most important lessons if God went to the trouble to put it in the Ten Commandments and said to us this is the first commandment that begins with a promise.\u00a0 If you want to live a good long life keep this commandment.\u00a0 I think we better pay attention.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 We have listeners who have drawn a line in the sand and have said our family is going to be different going forward than the family I grew up in.\u00a0 So as they think about leaving a legacy to their children, they think about whether that line in the sand starts.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe don\u2019t look past that, we don\u2019t look back.\u00a0 We are just looking at that line and saying we are going to be different from here.\u00a0 As they hear you talk about how you honor your parents and the legacy that they are going to leave.\u00a0 They are thinking well I am basing my legacy not on what happened back in the past, it\u2019s based on the direction I am leading things and so can I just let the past, be the past.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am saying if the past isn\u2019t dealt with in some appropriate, healthy, spiritual, emotional and I think yes, intellectual way, because God has made us with many dimensions.\u00a0 If we don\u2019t deal with the past, the past is going to deal with us.\u00a0 That\u2019s not just a cute saying, it\u2019s a reality.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have got a letter in my hands that I have received about five years ago from a listener, her name is Debby.\u00a0 She just wrote me a letter to tell me what great joy it brought her to finally sit down and write her dad a tribute.\u00a0 She said the big day came to present her dad with the tribute and she had not only the written tribute but also some pictures of her and her dad, when she was a baby, a young girl and then on her wedding day when he was taking her down the aisle and then she read that tribute to him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to read what she said here.\u00a0 She said when I was finished my dad said that was the best gift anyone has ever given me.\u00a0 She said I gave my dad lots of hugs and kisses that day telling him how much I loved him.\u00a0 I never had any idea that that would be the last time I would ever see my dad this side of heaven.\u00a0 My dad died off an aneurysm the very next day.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow the issue Bob is I think one of regrets here of not having any regrets of having said what needs to be said while your parents or your mom or your dad is still alive.\u00a0 I think it may be a part of why God is keeping them alive so that you can mend some fences and perhaps say some things that need to be said now when they are alive and not wait till they are gone to say them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 What you are saying here is that our lives are marked by the influence of our parents.\u00a0 We need to acknowledge that they have made a mark and then we need to look back and find a way to express honor, even in those dark situations is there a way to honor the past?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think of Josh McDowell being in our program and his dad was an alcoholic.\u00a0 Josh said I came to the point where I thanked God before my dad and for the influence he had on my life because it made me the man I am today, and I like the man I am today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 You know what I think Bob?\u00a0 I think of an opportunity we had here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, to surprise arguably one of the most influential Christian leaders of our day by having his son share a tribute to him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 We were getting ready to do an interview with the Dr. James Dobson \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Who, by the way, didn\u2019t get surprised very many times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 We were talking about our work together, our organizations and how they worked together in caring for the plight of the orphan.\u00a0 Dr. Dobson and his wife, Shirley, are adopted parents.\u00a0 Their son Ryan was adopted.\u00a0 Unbeknownst to Dr. Dobson we called Ryan and said, would you reflect a little bit on your mom and dad and then would you give them a verbal tribute.\u00a0 So when we sat down with Dr. Dobson we said we have something we want to play for you.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t know what was coming, did he?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He didn\u2019t.\u00a0 It was really fun to surprise him.\u00a0 But you know what was really fun was to see the look on his face, because he was quite emotional by the time the tribute was over.\u00a0\u00a0 Even Dr. James Dobson needs to know that his life has imprinted his own children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ryan<\/strong>:\u00a0 Growing up in the household I am who I am because of you.\u00a0 I am a Dobson and to be raised in a household and to see daily someone stand up for the word of God and to follow God even when it seems like its not making sense that changes people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have the greatest situation because I have parents that not only modeled a faith in God unlike any other place I could get it, but they modeled a healthy, loving relationship.\u00a0 You have been married for over 40 years and I hope to have that some day.\u00a0 I appreciate it and I love you guys.\u00a0 I know you are going to be great, great, great grandparents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s what a legacy is all about, isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It really is and it\u2019s just interesting to watch what happened in that studio that day Bob, because although we had taped Ryan\u2019s tribute to his mom and dad earlier, he was in the studio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He showed up, yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>With his dad as that was played.\u00a0 It\u2019s just right to go back to the previous generation and return honor, and good words, and esteem them, and value them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod knew what he was doing when he put that in the Ten Commandments.\u00a0 As if we didn\u2019t need to know that it just goes powerful.\u00a0 To hear Dr. Dobson, obviously respond to his son and with his words of affirmation.\u00a0 That\u2019s how it\u2019s intended to occur, even in the midst of all the imperfections of the Dobson family, or the Lepine family, or Rainey family.\u00a0 God\u2019s word was meant to be applied and lived out.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 You referenced earlier the book that you wrote called <em>The Best Gift You Can Ever Give Your Parents<\/em> where you talk about this concept of honoring your parents with the formal tribute and I know some of our listeners have heard you talk about that subject before.\u00a0 There are a couple of months to go between now and Christmas and there maybe listeners who would say this is the year I have to do that as a Christmas gift for my mom, or my dad, or for both of my parents.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to our website <a href=\"http:\/\/www.familylifetoday.com\">www.familylifetoday.com<\/a> and there is more information about the book available there.\u00a0 Again our website is <a href=\"http:\/\/www.familylifetoday.com\">www.familylifetoday.com<\/a> and I should also mention that all this week we have had listening into this series a major motion picture star, Larry the Cucumber has been tuned in.\u00a0 Larry welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Larry the Cucumber:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Hey Bob thanks, thanks for having me back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What it took to be known as a major motion picture star?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Larry the Cucumber:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I would have never guessed you know the most I had ever aspired to before was maybe a side dish.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A nice cobb salad perhaps, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Larry the Cucumber:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes that\u2019s right maybe a little salt and vinegar sprinkled on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well the legacy and this is what we have been talking about on the series, talking about having a meaningful life.\u00a0 That theme is at the heart of the new DVD called <em>It\u2019s a Meaningful Life<\/em> that you star in, and it\u2019s just now out in stores and of course we have got it here on our FamilyLife Today Resource Center, but this is a story about really the realignment of life priorities.\u00a0 In the very beginning the thing that mattered most to you in this story was winning the football game, right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Larry the Cucumber:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes winning the football game and what that was going to do with the rest of my life and it turns out Morty Bumble played by Mr. Lunt.\u00a0 I am sure you are familiar with Mr. Lunt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Of course I know Mr. Lunt, yes we are good friends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Larry the Cucumber:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh yes he is a good friend in real life but you know he sort of steals my past and steals my thunder while he is at it.\u00a0 He goes on to have a kind of a life of being famous and getting what he wants and you know I stay in Rockwell, that\u2019s our little hometown there and live my life there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am not as happy with it because I see everything that Morty is going through and what he is getting in and you know I get a little down on myself and wonder wow would could I have done different and could my life had been better?\u00a0 I go on a little train ride and I learned that God has a plan for my life and I am exactly where I am supposed to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s a key message.\u00a0 Again it\u2019s faithfulness in the place that God has put you and I think too often folks look at their life and they think I didn\u2019t make the big splash I thought I might make.\u00a0 But The Bible teaches us that it\u2019s not about making splashes, it\u2019s about faithfulness in the place God puts you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Larry the Cucumber:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s right Bob, that\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, and again I hope our listeners will get a copy of the brand new <em>Veggietales<\/em> DVD called <em>It\u2019s a Meaningful Life<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact this week we are making it available to any listener who can help support the Ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>with a donation of any amount.\u00a0 We are listener-supported so those donations are what keep us going here at FamilyLife, and we are asking you to go online or call 1800-FL-TODAY, make whatever donation you can make and feel free to request a copy of the brand new DVD called <em>It\u2019s a Meaningful Life<\/em> from our friends at <em>Veggietales<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you make your donation online at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.familylifetoday.com\">www.familylifetoday.com<\/a> you will need to type the word \u201cMEANING\u201d into the key code box on the online donation form.\u00a0 If you call 1800-FL-TODAY and make your donation over the phone, you can ask for the new <em>It\u2019s a Meaningful Life<\/em> DVD when you make the donation and we are happy to send it out to you.\u00a0 We very much appreciate your financial support.\u00a0 As I said, without you this program would not exist and so thanks for partnering with us and making this program possible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you will be back with us tomorrow as we are going to continue to look at the legacy we will leave to a generation we will not see.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts. However, there is a cost to produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t2010 Copyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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