{"id":302100,"date":"2010-08-27T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-08-27T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/jesus-christ-the-spiritual-model-for-marriage\/"},"modified":"2010-08-27T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-08-27T15:00:00","slug":"jesus-christ-the-spiritual-model-for-marriage","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/jesus-christ-the-spiritual-model-for-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Jesus Christ&#8211;The Spiritual Model for Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What is the goal of marriage?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-08-27.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.78M","filesize_raw":"24932578","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2805],"tags":[5158],"podcast_series":[7750],"cwp_profile":[3416],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302100","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","tag-what-is-marriage","podcast_series-seven-reasons-why-god-created-marriage","cwp_profile-james-ford","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302100\/jesus-christ-the-spiritual-model-for-marriage","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302100\/jesus-christ-the-spiritual-model-for-marriage","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ab3kvT2C35\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/jesus-christ-the-spiritual-model-for-marriage\/\">Jesus Christ&#8211;The Spiritual Model for Marriage<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/jesus-christ-the-spiritual-model-for-marriage\/embed\/#?secret=ab3kvT2C35\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Jesus Christ&#8211;The Spiritual Model for Marriage&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ab3kvT2C35\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-08-27.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-08-27.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you're experiencing challenges in your marriage\u2026Do you know where to go?\u00a0 What to do?\u00a0 Pastor James Ford knows right where to point you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know I spent all night putting this bicycle together.\u00a0 And I had a piece left over.\u00a0 The thing wouldn't work.\u00a0 My wife said to me, \"You know what?\u00a0 Did you read the instructions?\"\u00a0 And of course, it turned out to be a very vital piece.\u00a0 I got the instructions.\u00a0 I broke it all down.\u00a0 Put it back together.\u00a0 By that time, the children were getting up.\u00a0 I had been up <em>all<\/em> night, when all I needed to do was read the manual.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that's the way it is in our marriages.\u00a0 You always take it back to the manufacturer.\u00a0 And they know how to best repair whatever it is, because they made it.\u00a0 And so God instituted marriage, and we need to go to Him. When we implement it so that we work the Word, the Word will work for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 27<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey.\u00a0 And I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Today, Pastor James Ford joins us to point us back to the Book, so that we can have the kind of marriage God intended for us to have.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 How many folks getting married today, do you think \"get it\"?\u00a0 I mean, if you had to put a number to it.\u00a0 The number of folks who are getting married this year, who have any idea of the transcendent, divine purpose for which marriage exists.\u00a0 You think it's 20 percent?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, no.\u00a0 I don't think so.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You think it's more than that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, less.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Less than that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yeah.\u00a0 I...well let's ask our Pastor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have a pastor here from Chicago.\u00a0 James Ford joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 What do you think, James?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think the number is low.\u00a0 I've never looked at the percentages, but just from the counseling and the failed marriages that I see, I'd say somewhere maybe around 15%.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, I would guess that the number of marriages that go through premarital counseling with you, that \"get it\" is probably a 100%, or they don't get married...right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, they go through eight months of counseling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>\u00a0<\/em><em>Eight months<\/em> of counseling?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, yes.\u00a0 Eight months.\u00a0 So you know you have to come eight months in advance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Your church is definitely not a \u201cmarriage mill,\u201d is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So if I come to you, and we're a young couple, and we say, \"We're engaged, and we're planning to get married in the next three months.\"\u00a0 What do you say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 It can't happen.\u00a0 Not with me.\u00a0 And our assembly knows that.\u00a0 Everybody knows if you're going to get married, you ought to come to the pastor at least a year in advance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the reason why?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because we have premarital counseling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But the reason you have that, is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because so many people jump into the marriage relationship, and they don\u2019t know what they are doing.\u00a0 So I usually say to them, \"What is the goal of marriage?\"\u00a0 They don't know.\u00a0 Oneness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\"What are the pillars that support marriage?\"\u00a0 They don't know.\u00a0 \"What are the purposes of marriage?\"\u00a0 They don't know.\u00a0 You know, the old adage, \"He who aims at nothing, hits it every time.\"\u00a0 So you're going in, you spend all that time on the wedding<em> day<\/em>, preparing for it, and you haven't spent any time on preparing for the marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, so no, I refuse to do it.\u00a0 And it was based on experience.\u00a0 A couple came to me when I was a young pastor.\u00a0 They had known each other about four months, and they wanted to get married because they wanted their anniversary date to be on her birthday.\u00a0 I knew the Holy Spirit was telling me, \"Don't do this.\"\u00a0 And I did it.\u00a0 They were the first couple I married.\u00a0 And their marriage didn't last a year.\u00a0 I said, \"I cannot be a party to this kind of thing.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So if couples are going through the premarital that you are putting them through, how many of those marriages...are these marriages going the distance?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Some of them are.\u00a0 Some of them never make it because I share with them, \"If after this counseling, I determine that you will not make it, I will not marry you.\"\u00a0 So I've had only three couples that I did not marry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Where you said, \"I'm not going to do the ceremony on this one.\"\u00a0 Because of what?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because as they went through the counseling, it was easy, as far I was concerned, to see that they would not make it in a marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What are you looking for to determine whether they'll make it or not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm looking for the implementation of the principles that govern marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So somebody who's going through premarital at your church, I bet they're going to have to read, <em>The Seven Purposes for Marriage<\/em>, aren't they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Seven Reasons Why God Created Marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right.\u00a0 That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and one of the things I wanted to ask you, is you tell the story in the book about one Christmas Eve where you're caught having to put together a bicycle.\u00a0 And you're looking at the instruction manual.\u00a0 Now tell the truth, is a lot of this instruction you\u2019re giving these pre-married come from that Christmas Eve experience you had?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 (laughter) A whole lot of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Share that story with our listeners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know, I spent all night putting this bicycle together.\u00a0 And, first of all, my wife had said, \"Pay the $20 and let them put it together.\"\u00a0 To which I replied, \"I can do it myself, and I can save the $20.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 So I worked all night, and I had a piece left over.\u00a0 And the thing wouldn't work.\u00a0 And my wife said to me, \"You know what?\u00a0 Did you read the instructions?\"\u00a0 To which I replied, \"No, I didn't need to read the instructions on how to put it together.\u00a0 They've got an extra piece in here.\u00a0 I don't know why they put it in here.\"\u00a0 And of course, it turned out to be a very vital piece.\u00a0 I got the instructions.\u00a0 I broke it all down.\u00a0 Put it back together.\u00a0 By that time, the children were all getting up.\u00a0 I had been up <em>all<\/em> night, when all I needed to do was read the manual.\u00a0 And that's the way it is in our marriages.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's like, God is the manufacturer.\u00a0 So you always take it back to the manufacturer.\u00a0 And they know how to best repair whatever it is because they made it.\u00a0 I tell husbands, especially, all the time that in the spiritual; I am a wife to Jesus Christ, because I am a part of the Bride...the Church.\u00a0 And in the natural, I am a husband to Leslie Ann Ford.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if I am a failure in the natural, as the husband to Leslie Ann Ford, it's only because I've been a failure in the spiritual as a wife to Jesus Christ.\u00a0 So my focus needs to be on being the best wife in the spiritual, for Jesus Christ, and submit myself to Him.\u00a0 And everything that He does to me in the spiritual, I step off in the natural.\u00a0 And by His power, I do that to Leslie Ann Ford.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's a great picture.\u00a0 One of the purposes you talk about in your book for marriage is for the proper operation of what you call \"a heavy duty power tool.\"\u00a0 You know what I'm talking about, don't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And, that purpose for marriage\u2014that \"heavy duty power tool\"\u2014has been dragged outside of marriage, and has left folks damaged in the process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really has.\u00a0 Because God has used sex in marriage, as the \"velcro\" of the soul.\u00a0 And it bonds us together.\u00a0 My mother, before she went home to be with the Lord, asked me, \"What's the difference between your love for her, and your love for me?\"\u00a0 I said, \"Well, Mom, it is that God has given us a union that's very special and we are able to express ourself in a sexual relationship.\u00a0 And that's something we would never do.\"\u00a0 And she said, \"Of course.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was looking at the etymology of the word \"responsibility,\" and here's what I found.\u00a0 It's Roman in origin, and that the bridegroom was called, a \"sponsis,\" and the bride was called \"sponsa.\"\u00a0 And whenever they came together in the marriage relationship, it was called, \"responsibility.\"\u00a0 So the etymology of the word \"responsibility\" means to be able to be responsible as if you were sexually pure in marriage.\u00a0 So then if you look at Hebrews 13:4, it says that \"the marriage bed is undefiled.\u201d\u00a0 And the word \"undefiled\" really speaks of an offering that's fit for the Lord.\u00a0 And so I tell people, all the time, then God sees sex in marriage as an act of worship.\u00a0 So you can say to your wife, \"Let's worship.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You also believe, in terms of protecting the marriage bed, that sexual purity and fidelity between husband and wife is of utmost importance.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, I'll tell you fidelity in a relationship is because marriage is a covenant.\u00a0 And it's a covenant of blood.\u00a0 God's ideal is, \"one man, one woman\"\u00a0 And the hymen is broken, the blood is shed.\u00a0 The covenant is sealed.\u00a0 And so God then has made, as I understand Scripture, the marriage sealed.\u00a0 It\u2019s commenced with a vow.\u00a0 It's consummated with the sex act.\u00a0 And so then God has made that <em>sacred<\/em>.\u00a0 It is sacred.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you look at the culture today in all aspects of the culture, there are people who are sexually active with no shame, prior to marriage.\u00a0 And then there are folks who have broken their marriage vows, and have been sexually active inside of marriage.\u00a0 In fact, you've already shared with us, early in your marriage, before you came to Christ, that was the direction you were headed.\u00a0 To open things up.\u00a0 How do we recapture our cultural thinking on God's purpose for sex in marriage?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think we have to go back to the Book.\u00a0 Warren Wiersby says this way, \"When we open the Bible, God opens His mouth.\u00a0 When we close the Bible, God closes His mouth.\"\u00a0 If we would learn the principles that God has established, and the parameters, that He set...it's like fire in a fireplace.\u00a0 It's controlled.\u00a0 But fire on the curtains is a problem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 And so we need to understand why God has given it to us.\u00a0 He's given it to us for recreation, for procreation, and for communication.\u00a0 And if we understand that, then we understand that in our marriage relationship that God has given us something that strengthens our marriage.\u00a0 And when we go outside of it, we deteriorate it very quickly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you wind up, as a pastor, having to talk to a lot of husbands and wives who have wrecked havoc on their marriage because they've violated that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Most definitely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You see that occurring in the church?\u00a0 I mean among single people, as well as marrieds, almost equally?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ah, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There really isn't a great protection taking place today of those marital vows and the covenant you're speaking of.\u00a0 What do we need to do within the Christian community to raise, I believe, the standard and protect fidelity in marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think first of all, we need to get back to teaching the tennants of the Bible.\u00a0 We need to begin to expose people to abstinence, and to fidelity.\u00a0 And let that be something that we're teaching on an ongoing basis.\u00a0 And begin to do the things that are going to strengthen you in your purity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You start your book by talking about how marriage provides a picture of the relationship between the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit\u2014in the Trinity.\u00a0 You also talk about another picture that marriage provides.\u00a0 And it's really what Paul addresses in Ephesians 5, the classic passage on marriage, in the New Testament.\u00a0 Explain that picture for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, if you notice, he starts off with a spiritual model and he ends with a spiritual model.\u00a0 So he sandwiches all the principles so that we'll know that it's spiritual, not social.\u00a0 And of course, the great picture that he gives us in Ephesians of Christ and the Church.\u00a0 It is that our marriage ought to be a reflection of the relationship that Jesus Christ has with the Church.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow if you'll look at the Eastern motif of marriage, it can be easily seen.\u00a0 Because what happens is this.\u00a0 In what's called the <em>Mofar<\/em>, the bridegroom and the father come together to agree on the bride price.\u00a0 And once that price is determined, they don't consummate the marriage at that particular point in time.\u00a0 They come together and they share a common cup.\u00a0 And so they have a <em>Ketubah<\/em>, which is a marriage contract.\u00a0 But, it's not consummated, it's commenced.\u00a0 That's why Joseph could have given Mary a bill of divorcement because betrothal in their culture was different from our engagement.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut at the end of the <em>Mofar<\/em>, then what would happen is she would stay with her father.\u00a0 He (the bridegroom) would go and leave her after that common cup, and go to his father's house.\u00a0 This would be called the <em>Kiddushin<\/em>.\u00a0 And in the <em>Kiddushin<\/em> what would happen is he would prepare a place for her, in his father's house, and she would be with her father.\u00a0 And then at the end of that, he would come to the edge of the village.\u00a0 He wouldn't come all the way to her house.\u00a0 He'd come to the middle of the village.\u00a0 There would be a trumpet player with him, and blow the trumpet\u2014probably Miles Davis or somebody like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026and blow the trumpet, and the villagers would be flocking behind him.\u00a0 And it will always be at night.\u00a0 And they would have their lamps trimmed.\u00a0 She would hear the trumpet.\u00a0 The bridegroom comes.\u00a0 She grabs her bags, meets him, and then they would go to his father's house for the final segment of the marriage, which is called the <em>huppah<\/em>.\u00a0 It would be a seven-day party and at the end of the seven days, they would go into a room that had been specially prepared for them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe wedding guests would be waiting, milling around.\u00a0 They would go in, consummate the marriage.\u00a0 The hymen would be broken, the blood would be shed.\u00a0 He would fold up the sheet, and then come out, open up the curtain.\u00a0 She would be behind him, and he would say, \"Huppah!\"\u00a0 And one guy said that means, \"Yeah baby!\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 He would present that sheet to the father because that would prove that she was a virgin.\u00a0 Number one reason, in Israel, for divorce was she wasn't a virgin when you gave her.\u00a0 And so if you see that picture, that's a picture of our salvation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the <em>Mofar<\/em>, the Father and the Son got together and decided on the bride price.\u00a0 \u201cWhat, Father, do you want for my Bride, the Church?\u201d\u00a0 And He said, Leviticus 17:11, \"I've given the blood on the altar, as an atonement for sin.\"\u00a0 Hebrews 9:27, \"Without the shedding of blood there is no remission.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo then, 1 Peter 1:18-19, \"For as much as we know then, that we've been redeemed.\u00a0 Not with corruptible things, such as silver and gold for our vain conversation, received by tradition of our fathers, but with the precious blood of Jesus Christ as the Lamb without spot and without blemish.\"\u00a0 So that commences our so great salvation, justification, sanctification, glorification.\u00a0 And so, we enter into that common cup with the Lord Jesus Christ.\u00a0 It's called Communion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen He goes away while we wait.\u00a0 We occupy until He comes.\u00a0 He goes away in the <em>Kiddushin<\/em>.\u00a0 And then at the end of that time, He comes\u20141 Thessalonians 4:13-18, \"He comes in the air, not to the earth.\u00a0 The trumpet sounds, the dead in Christ rise.\u00a0 Then we who are alive are caught up together. And so shall we are to be with the Lord.\"\u00a0 So I think He is the focus.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo that even when you get married, the ceremony\u2014I always explain it.\u00a0 I give the seven purposes, and they know it's going to take about 40 minutes in the marriage ceremony, because some people have never heard it.\u00a0 So I say, \u201cWhy doesn't the young man come down the aisle?\u201d Because he's not the covenant initiator.\u00a0 The father is the covenant initiator.\u00a0 And you separate the groom's family and the bride's family not just to keep them from fighting\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u2026but they represent the covenant animal.\u00a0 And so he comes from the side following the pastor, symbolizing the pastor as representing God.\u00a0 I'm following him to symbolize that I understand that the tenets of marriage are instituted by God, and they are to be implemented by me.\u00a0 The Best Man follows him to say two things.\u00a0 Number one:\u00a0 I concur that he knows that marriage is under the responsibility of God, and I am his accountability partner for what he's doing today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo then the father brings the bride down the aisle, as the covenant initiator.\u00a0 And the preacher says, \"Who gives this woman to this man?\"\u00a0 Most of the dads want to say, \"My wife and I do.\"\u00a0 I asked one guy, \"Why do you want to say that?\"\u00a0 He said, \"Because my wife said to say it.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 I said, \"But you're the patriarch.\u00a0 And so whenever you take her hand from yours, put it in his, then God who has shown up for this marriage sees it as a transference of authority.\u00a0 So you are saying to the young man, \"What I began to do, in protecting and providing and caring for her, I am now passing it on to you.\u00a0 And because I'm the covenant initiator, and you're the covenant responder, if you fail the tenets of the covenant, you'll have to deal with me.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen he does that, and then he sits down.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because no longer does he have any control.\u00a0 She now belongs to him.\u00a0 The preacher says, \"I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs...\u201d and he gives his name, her first name, his last name.\u00a0 So the first act of submission is the dropping of the maiden name, and the picking up of her husband's name as the first act of submission in marriage.\u00a0 So if you look at that, that's the picture of salvation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's a great picture, too.\u00a0 That's a beautiful picture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that's a picture of salvation.\u00a0 So what happened to us.\u00a0 We entered into a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.\u00a0 We were lost in sin.\u00a0 The Devil was our daddy.\u00a0 But once we got married to Jesus Christ, he had to sit down out of our lives.\u00a0 And as the first act of submission, we take on His name, Christian, \"Christ-like one\" and our identity is lost in who He is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you know I'm sitting here listening to you, James, and I'm just going backwards, as you shared a little bit about your life.\u00a0 As one of ten children.\u00a0 A man who grew up as a little boy who never knew his father.\u00a0 Only saw a picture of him when you were in your 20's.\u00a0 And how you and your wife were druggies, peddling drugs, and lost jobs, and got kicked out of this and that.\u00a0 And God in heaven reached down as the Father and redeemed a young man named, James.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And wrote His name in the Book of Life, and gave him the mission where now he's quoting from Genesis to Revelation.\u00a0 Explaining marriage and family at a level that I'll bet your family has maybe never ever discussed before.\u00a0 I'm talking about the family you came from.\u00a0 But I\u2019ll bet they have now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 All the time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm thinking about the legacy that you're leaving.\u00a0 I just want to wrap this up by reading, \"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one.\u00a0 And the man and his wife were both naked, and they were not ashamed.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You are leaving a mighty legacy through your relationship with your bride and through your family.\u00a0 But also through your church, and those you are spiritually influencing.\u00a0 I've got a feeling Bob, there are some folks in south Chicago who have been influenced by James.\u00a0 People who are probably talking about him, the way he talked about that guy from Tennessee, who first shared his faith with him.\u00a0 To say \"James is after me, he's talking about Jesus.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I say, good for you, and it's our honor having shared these moments with you here, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was my privilege.\u00a0 Thank you very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, those of our listeners who call us to get a copy of James' book are going to hear a lot about Jesus as well.\u00a0 The book is called, <em>Seven Reasons Why God Created Marriage<\/em>.\u00a0 And we've got copies of it in our FamilyLife Today resource center.\u00a0 You can go online, at FamilyLifeToday.com, to request a copy.\u00a0 Or, you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to request a copy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd as you've said Dennis, when you know the purpose of something, it really helps you understand what your part in it is.\u00a0 So that's why we're hoping a lot of folks will get a copy of the book, <em>Seven Reasons Why God Created Marriage<\/em> by Pastor James Ford.\u00a0 Again, go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-\"F\" as in Family, \"L\" as in Life, and then the word, \"Today.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow we are getting down to the wire here, at FamilyLife, almost through the month of August. We set a goal back at the beginning of the month that we hoped to hear from 2,500 <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners.\u00a0 Regular listeners who have never called or made a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 And, I was checking the graph; I don't think we're quite there yet.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope if you're a regular listener, and you've never made a donation, that I can somehow talk you into going online at FamilyLifeToday.com, today.\u00a0 Or calling, 1-800-FL-TODAY, today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd making a donation to help support the ministry.\u00a0 We are listener supported.\u00a0 Your donations are what keep us on this station and on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need you to be one of those 2,500 new friends we hear from this month.\u00a0 If you're able to make a donation this month, of any amount\u2014whether you're a new friend or whether you've made donations before\u2014we'd love to send you, as a thank you gift, a two CD series with our friends, Tim and Joy Downs.\u00a0 Where they talk about conflict in marriage, and some of the most common causes for conflict.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you'd like to receive the CDs, just type the word \"SEVEN\" in the online key code box, on the online donation form at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Or, call 1-800-FLToday, make a donation over the phone, and just ask for the CDs on conflict, and we'll send those out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd once again, if you're a new donor, and you're able to make a donation of $100 or more this month, we want to say a special thank you by sending you a certificate so that you and your spouse can attend one of our upcoming FamilyLife Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaways.\u00a0 These getaways kick off next month, and they're going to be in cities all across the country throughout the fall.\u00a0 You and your spouse can attend as our guest when you make a $100 donation or more, and you're a first time donor to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you want to pass this certificate along to someone else you know, you can do that as well.\u00a0 But again we need to hear from you before the end of next Tuesday, in order for you to take advantage of the special offer for one of these certificates.\u00a0 Again, make your donation at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Or call us toll-free, 1-800-\"F\" as in Family, \"L\" as in Life, and then the word \"Today.\"\u00a0 And we'll get one of those certificates out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend.\u00a0 And I hope you can join us back on Monday, when Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth, are going to be here.\u00a0 We're going to spend time with them throughout the week talking about how the Chapman family is doing.\u00a0 Getting an update on what's going on with them, the projects they're working on, the concert tour they're getting ready to go out on.\u00a0 Mary Beth's got a brand new book that she's just written; we'll talk about some of what she's written in that book.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire Broadcast Production team, on behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey.\u00a0 I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamlyLife, of Little Rock, Arkansas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for Today.\u00a0 Hope for Tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.78M"],"filesize_raw":["24932578"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302100.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302100.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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is the goal of marriage?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-08-27.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you're experiencing challenges in your marriage\u2026Do you know where to go?\u00a0 What to do?\u00a0 Pastor James Ford knows right where to point you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know I spent all night putting this bicycle together.\u00a0 And I had a piece left over.\u00a0 The thing wouldn't work.\u00a0 My wife said to me, \"You know what?\u00a0 Did you read the instructions?\"\u00a0 And of course, it turned out to be a very vital piece.\u00a0 I got the instructions.\u00a0 I broke it all down.\u00a0 Put it back together.\u00a0 By that time, the children were getting up.\u00a0 I had been up <em>all<\/em> night, when all I needed to do was read the manual.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that's the way it is in our marriages.\u00a0 You always take it back to the manufacturer.\u00a0 And they know how to best repair whatever it is, because they made it.\u00a0 And so God instituted marriage, and we need to go to Him. When we implement it so that we work the Word, the Word will work for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 27<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey.\u00a0 And I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Today, Pastor James Ford joins us to point us back to the Book, so that we can have the kind of marriage God intended for us to have.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 How many folks getting married today, do you think \"get it\"?\u00a0 I mean, if you had to put a number to it.\u00a0 The number of folks who are getting married this year, who have any idea of the transcendent, divine purpose for which marriage exists.\u00a0 You think it's 20 percent?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, no.\u00a0 I don't think so.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You think it's more than that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, less.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Less than that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yeah.\u00a0 I...well let's ask our Pastor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have a pastor here from Chicago.\u00a0 James Ford joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 What do you think, James?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think the number is low.\u00a0 I've never looked at the percentages, but just from the counseling and the failed marriages that I see, I'd say somewhere maybe around 15%.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, I would guess that the number of marriages that go through premarital counseling with you, that \"get it\" is probably a 100%, or they don't get married...right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, they go through eight months of counseling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> <em>\u00a0<\/em><em>Eight months<\/em> of counseling?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, yes.\u00a0 Eight months.\u00a0 So you know you have to come eight months in advance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Your church is definitely not a \u201cmarriage mill,\u201d is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So if I come to you, and we're a young couple, and we say, \"We're engaged, and we're planning to get married in the next three months.\"\u00a0 What do you say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 It can't happen.\u00a0 Not with me.\u00a0 And our assembly knows that.\u00a0 Everybody knows if you're going to get married, you ought to come to the pastor at least a year in advance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the reason why?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because we have premarital counseling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But the reason you have that, is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because so many people jump into the marriage relationship, and they don\u2019t know what they are doing.\u00a0 So I usually say to them, \"What is the goal of marriage?\"\u00a0 They don't know.\u00a0 Oneness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\"What are the pillars that support marriage?\"\u00a0 They don't know.\u00a0 \"What are the purposes of marriage?\"\u00a0 They don't know.\u00a0 You know, the old adage, \"He who aims at nothing, hits it every time.\"\u00a0 So you're going in, you spend all that time on the wedding<em> day<\/em>, preparing for it, and you haven't spent any time on preparing for the marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, so no, I refuse to do it.\u00a0 And it was based on experience.\u00a0 A couple came to me when I was a young pastor.\u00a0 They had known each other about four months, and they wanted to get married because they wanted their anniversary date to be on her birthday.\u00a0 I knew the Holy Spirit was telling me, \"Don't do this.\"\u00a0 And I did it.\u00a0 They were the first couple I married.\u00a0 And their marriage didn't last a year.\u00a0 I said, \"I cannot be a party to this kind of thing.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So if couples are going through the premarital that you are putting them through, how many of those marriages...are these marriages going the distance?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Some of them are.\u00a0 Some of them never make it because I share with them, \"If after this counseling, I determine that you will not make it, I will not marry you.\"\u00a0 So I've had only three couples that I did not marry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Where you said, \"I'm not going to do the ceremony on this one.\"\u00a0 Because of what?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because as they went through the counseling, it was easy, as far I was concerned, to see that they would not make it in a marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What are you looking for to determine whether they'll make it or not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm looking for the implementation of the principles that govern marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So somebody who's going through premarital at your church, I bet they're going to have to read, <em>The Seven Purposes for Marriage<\/em>, aren't they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Seven Reasons Why God Created Marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right.\u00a0 That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and one of the things I wanted to ask you, is you tell the story in the book about one Christmas Eve where you're caught having to put together a bicycle.\u00a0 And you're looking at the instruction manual.\u00a0 Now tell the truth, is a lot of this instruction you\u2019re giving these pre-married come from that Christmas Eve experience you had?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 (laughter) A whole lot of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Share that story with our listeners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know, I spent all night putting this bicycle together.\u00a0 And, first of all, my wife had said, \"Pay the $20 and let them put it together.\"\u00a0 To which I replied, \"I can do it myself, and I can save the $20.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 So I worked all night, and I had a piece left over.\u00a0 And the thing wouldn't work.\u00a0 And my wife said to me, \"You know what?\u00a0 Did you read the instructions?\"\u00a0 To which I replied, \"No, I didn't need to read the instructions on how to put it together.\u00a0 They've got an extra piece in here.\u00a0 I don't know why they put it in here.\"\u00a0 And of course, it turned out to be a very vital piece.\u00a0 I got the instructions.\u00a0 I broke it all down.\u00a0 Put it back together.\u00a0 By that time, the children were all getting up.\u00a0 I had been up <em>all<\/em> night, when all I needed to do was read the manual.\u00a0 And that's the way it is in our marriages.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's like, God is the manufacturer.\u00a0 So you always take it back to the manufacturer.\u00a0 And they know how to best repair whatever it is because they made it.\u00a0 I tell husbands, especially, all the time that in the spiritual; I am a wife to Jesus Christ, because I am a part of the Bride...the Church.\u00a0 And in the natural, I am a husband to Leslie Ann Ford.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if I am a failure in the natural, as the husband to Leslie Ann Ford, it's only because I've been a failure in the spiritual as a wife to Jesus Christ.\u00a0 So my focus needs to be on being the best wife in the spiritual, for Jesus Christ, and submit myself to Him.\u00a0 And everything that He does to me in the spiritual, I step off in the natural.\u00a0 And by His power, I do that to Leslie Ann Ford.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's a great picture.\u00a0 One of the purposes you talk about in your book for marriage is for the proper operation of what you call \"a heavy duty power tool.\"\u00a0 You know what I'm talking about, don't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And, that purpose for marriage\u2014that \"heavy duty power tool\"\u2014has been dragged outside of marriage, and has left folks damaged in the process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really has.\u00a0 Because God has used sex in marriage, as the \"velcro\" of the soul.\u00a0 And it bonds us together.\u00a0 My mother, before she went home to be with the Lord, asked me, \"What's the difference between your love for her, and your love for me?\"\u00a0 I said, \"Well, Mom, it is that God has given us a union that's very special and we are able to express ourself in a sexual relationship.\u00a0 And that's something we would never do.\"\u00a0 And she said, \"Of course.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was looking at the etymology of the word \"responsibility,\" and here's what I found.\u00a0 It's Roman in origin, and that the bridegroom was called, a \"sponsis,\" and the bride was called \"sponsa.\"\u00a0 And whenever they came together in the marriage relationship, it was called, \"responsibility.\"\u00a0 So the etymology of the word \"responsibility\" means to be able to be responsible as if you were sexually pure in marriage.\u00a0 So then if you look at Hebrews 13:4, it says that \"the marriage bed is undefiled.\u201d\u00a0 And the word \"undefiled\" really speaks of an offering that's fit for the Lord.\u00a0 And so I tell people, all the time, then God sees sex in marriage as an act of worship.\u00a0 So you can say to your wife, \"Let's worship.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You also believe, in terms of protecting the marriage bed, that sexual purity and fidelity between husband and wife is of utmost importance.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, I'll tell you fidelity in a relationship is because marriage is a covenant.\u00a0 And it's a covenant of blood.\u00a0 God's ideal is, \"one man, one woman\"\u00a0 And the hymen is broken, the blood is shed.\u00a0 The covenant is sealed.\u00a0 And so God then has made, as I understand Scripture, the marriage sealed.\u00a0 It\u2019s commenced with a vow.\u00a0 It's consummated with the sex act.\u00a0 And so then God has made that <em>sacred<\/em>.\u00a0 It is sacred.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you look at the culture today in all aspects of the culture, there are people who are sexually active with no shame, prior to marriage.\u00a0 And then there are folks who have broken their marriage vows, and have been sexually active inside of marriage.\u00a0 In fact, you've already shared with us, early in your marriage, before you came to Christ, that was the direction you were headed.\u00a0 To open things up.\u00a0 How do we recapture our cultural thinking on God's purpose for sex in marriage?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think we have to go back to the Book.\u00a0 Warren Wiersby says this way, \"When we open the Bible, God opens His mouth.\u00a0 When we close the Bible, God closes His mouth.\"\u00a0 If we would learn the principles that God has established, and the parameters, that He set...it's like fire in a fireplace.\u00a0 It's controlled.\u00a0 But fire on the curtains is a problem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 And so we need to understand why God has given it to us.\u00a0 He's given it to us for recreation, for procreation, and for communication.\u00a0 And if we understand that, then we understand that in our marriage relationship that God has given us something that strengthens our marriage.\u00a0 And when we go outside of it, we deteriorate it very quickly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you wind up, as a pastor, having to talk to a lot of husbands and wives who have wrecked havoc on their marriage because they've violated that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Most definitely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You see that occurring in the church?\u00a0 I mean among single people, as well as marrieds, almost equally?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ah, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There really isn't a great protection taking place today of those marital vows and the covenant you're speaking of.\u00a0 What do we need to do within the Christian community to raise, I believe, the standard and protect fidelity in marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think first of all, we need to get back to teaching the tennants of the Bible.\u00a0 We need to begin to expose people to abstinence, and to fidelity.\u00a0 And let that be something that we're teaching on an ongoing basis.\u00a0 And begin to do the things that are going to strengthen you in your purity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You start your book by talking about how marriage provides a picture of the relationship between the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit\u2014in the Trinity.\u00a0 You also talk about another picture that marriage provides.\u00a0 And it's really what Paul addresses in Ephesians 5, the classic passage on marriage, in the New Testament.\u00a0 Explain that picture for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, if you notice, he starts off with a spiritual model and he ends with a spiritual model.\u00a0 So he sandwiches all the principles so that we'll know that it's spiritual, not social.\u00a0 And of course, the great picture that he gives us in Ephesians of Christ and the Church.\u00a0 It is that our marriage ought to be a reflection of the relationship that Jesus Christ has with the Church.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow if you'll look at the Eastern motif of marriage, it can be easily seen.\u00a0 Because what happens is this.\u00a0 In what's called the <em>Mofar<\/em>, the bridegroom and the father come together to agree on the bride price.\u00a0 And once that price is determined, they don't consummate the marriage at that particular point in time.\u00a0 They come together and they share a common cup.\u00a0 And so they have a <em>Ketubah<\/em>, which is a marriage contract.\u00a0 But, it's not consummated, it's commenced.\u00a0 That's why Joseph could have given Mary a bill of divorcement because betrothal in their culture was different from our engagement.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut at the end of the <em>Mofar<\/em>, then what would happen is she would stay with her father.\u00a0 He (the bridegroom) would go and leave her after that common cup, and go to his father's house.\u00a0 This would be called the <em>Kiddushin<\/em>.\u00a0 And in the <em>Kiddushin<\/em> what would happen is he would prepare a place for her, in his father's house, and she would be with her father.\u00a0 And then at the end of that, he would come to the edge of the village.\u00a0 He wouldn't come all the way to her house.\u00a0 He'd come to the middle of the village.\u00a0 There would be a trumpet player with him, and blow the trumpet\u2014probably Miles Davis or somebody like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026and blow the trumpet, and the villagers would be flocking behind him.\u00a0 And it will always be at night.\u00a0 And they would have their lamps trimmed.\u00a0 She would hear the trumpet.\u00a0 The bridegroom comes.\u00a0 She grabs her bags, meets him, and then they would go to his father's house for the final segment of the marriage, which is called the <em>huppah<\/em>.\u00a0 It would be a seven-day party and at the end of the seven days, they would go into a room that had been specially prepared for them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe wedding guests would be waiting, milling around.\u00a0 They would go in, consummate the marriage.\u00a0 The hymen would be broken, the blood would be shed.\u00a0 He would fold up the sheet, and then come out, open up the curtain.\u00a0 She would be behind him, and he would say, \"Huppah!\"\u00a0 And one guy said that means, \"Yeah baby!\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 He would present that sheet to the father because that would prove that she was a virgin.\u00a0 Number one reason, in Israel, for divorce was she wasn't a virgin when you gave her.\u00a0 And so if you see that picture, that's a picture of our salvation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the <em>Mofar<\/em>, the Father and the Son got together and decided on the bride price.\u00a0 \u201cWhat, Father, do you want for my Bride, the Church?\u201d\u00a0 And He said, Leviticus 17:11, \"I've given the blood on the altar, as an atonement for sin.\"\u00a0 Hebrews 9:27, \"Without the shedding of blood there is no remission.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo then, 1 Peter 1:18-19, \"For as much as we know then, that we've been redeemed.\u00a0 Not with corruptible things, such as silver and gold for our vain conversation, received by tradition of our fathers, but with the precious blood of Jesus Christ as the Lamb without spot and without blemish.\"\u00a0 So that commences our so great salvation, justification, sanctification, glorification.\u00a0 And so, we enter into that common cup with the Lord Jesus Christ.\u00a0 It's called Communion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen He goes away while we wait.\u00a0 We occupy until He comes.\u00a0 He goes away in the <em>Kiddushin<\/em>.\u00a0 And then at the end of that time, He comes\u20141 Thessalonians 4:13-18, \"He comes in the air, not to the earth.\u00a0 The trumpet sounds, the dead in Christ rise.\u00a0 Then we who are alive are caught up together. And so shall we are to be with the Lord.\"\u00a0 So I think He is the focus.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo that even when you get married, the ceremony\u2014I always explain it.\u00a0 I give the seven purposes, and they know it's going to take about 40 minutes in the marriage ceremony, because some people have never heard it.\u00a0 So I say, \u201cWhy doesn't the young man come down the aisle?\u201d Because he's not the covenant initiator.\u00a0 The father is the covenant initiator.\u00a0 And you separate the groom's family and the bride's family not just to keep them from fighting\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u2026but they represent the covenant animal.\u00a0 And so he comes from the side following the pastor, symbolizing the pastor as representing God.\u00a0 I'm following him to symbolize that I understand that the tenets of marriage are instituted by God, and they are to be implemented by me.\u00a0 The Best Man follows him to say two things.\u00a0 Number one:\u00a0 I concur that he knows that marriage is under the responsibility of God, and I am his accountability partner for what he's doing today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo then the father brings the bride down the aisle, as the covenant initiator.\u00a0 And the preacher says, \"Who gives this woman to this man?\"\u00a0 Most of the dads want to say, \"My wife and I do.\"\u00a0 I asked one guy, \"Why do you want to say that?\"\u00a0 He said, \"Because my wife said to say it.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 I said, \"But you're the patriarch.\u00a0 And so whenever you take her hand from yours, put it in his, then God who has shown up for this marriage sees it as a transference of authority.\u00a0 So you are saying to the young man, \"What I began to do, in protecting and providing and caring for her, I am now passing it on to you.\u00a0 And because I'm the covenant initiator, and you're the covenant responder, if you fail the tenets of the covenant, you'll have to deal with me.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen he does that, and then he sits down.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because no longer does he have any control.\u00a0 She now belongs to him.\u00a0 The preacher says, \"I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs...\u201d and he gives his name, her first name, his last name.\u00a0 So the first act of submission is the dropping of the maiden name, and the picking up of her husband's name as the first act of submission in marriage.\u00a0 So if you look at that, that's the picture of salvation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's a great picture, too.\u00a0 That's a beautiful picture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that's a picture of salvation.\u00a0 So what happened to us.\u00a0 We entered into a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.\u00a0 We were lost in sin.\u00a0 The Devil was our daddy.\u00a0 But once we got married to Jesus Christ, he had to sit down out of our lives.\u00a0 And as the first act of submission, we take on His name, Christian, \"Christ-like one\" and our identity is lost in who He is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you know I'm sitting here listening to you, James, and I'm just going backwards, as you shared a little bit about your life.\u00a0 As one of ten children.\u00a0 A man who grew up as a little boy who never knew his father.\u00a0 Only saw a picture of him when you were in your 20's.\u00a0 And how you and your wife were druggies, peddling drugs, and lost jobs, and got kicked out of this and that.\u00a0 And God in heaven reached down as the Father and redeemed a young man named, James.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And wrote His name in the Book of Life, and gave him the mission where now he's quoting from Genesis to Revelation.\u00a0 Explaining marriage and family at a level that I'll bet your family has maybe never ever discussed before.\u00a0 I'm talking about the family you came from.\u00a0 But I\u2019ll bet they have now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 All the time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm thinking about the legacy that you're leaving.\u00a0 I just want to wrap this up by reading, \"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one.\u00a0 And the man and his wife were both naked, and they were not ashamed.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You are leaving a mighty legacy through your relationship with your bride and through your family.\u00a0 But also through your church, and those you are spiritually influencing.\u00a0 I've got a feeling Bob, there are some folks in south Chicago who have been influenced by James.\u00a0 People who are probably talking about him, the way he talked about that guy from Tennessee, who first shared his faith with him.\u00a0 To say \"James is after me, he's talking about Jesus.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I say, good for you, and it's our honor having shared these moments with you here, on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was my privilege.\u00a0 Thank you very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, those of our listeners who call us to get a copy of James' book are going to hear a lot about Jesus as well.\u00a0 The book is called, <em>Seven Reasons Why God Created Marriage<\/em>.\u00a0 And we've got copies of it in our FamilyLife Today resource center.\u00a0 You can go online, at FamilyLifeToday.com, to request a copy.\u00a0 Or, you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to request a copy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd as you've said Dennis, when you know the purpose of something, it really helps you understand what your part in it is.\u00a0 So that's why we're hoping a lot of folks will get a copy of the book, <em>Seven Reasons Why God Created Marriage<\/em> by Pastor James Ford.\u00a0 Again, go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-\"F\" as in Family, \"L\" as in Life, and then the word, \"Today.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow we are getting down to the wire here, at FamilyLife, almost through the month of August. We set a goal back at the beginning of the month that we hoped to hear from 2,500 <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners.\u00a0 Regular listeners who have never called or made a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 And, I was checking the graph; I don't think we're quite there yet.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hope if you're a regular listener, and you've never made a donation, that I can somehow talk you into going online at FamilyLifeToday.com, today.\u00a0 Or calling, 1-800-FL-TODAY, today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd making a donation to help support the ministry.\u00a0 We are listener supported.\u00a0 Your donations are what keep us on this station and on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need you to be one of those 2,500 new friends we hear from this month.\u00a0 If you're able to make a donation this month, of any amount\u2014whether you're a new friend or whether you've made donations before\u2014we'd love to send you, as a thank you gift, a two CD series with our friends, Tim and Joy Downs.\u00a0 Where they talk about conflict in marriage, and some of the most common causes for conflict.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you'd like to receive the CDs, just type the word \"SEVEN\" in the online key code box, on the online donation form at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Or, call 1-800-FLToday, make a donation over the phone, and just ask for the CDs on conflict, and we'll send those out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd once again, if you're a new donor, and you're able to make a donation of $100 or more this month, we want to say a special thank you by sending you a certificate so that you and your spouse can attend one of our upcoming FamilyLife Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaways.\u00a0 These getaways kick off next month, and they're going to be in cities all across the country throughout the fall.\u00a0 You and your spouse can attend as our guest when you make a $100 donation or more, and you're a first time donor to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you want to pass this certificate along to someone else you know, you can do that as well.\u00a0 But again we need to hear from you before the end of next Tuesday, in order for you to take advantage of the special offer for one of these certificates.\u00a0 Again, make your donation at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Or call us toll-free, 1-800-\"F\" as in Family, \"L\" as in Life, and then the word \"Today.\"\u00a0 And we'll get one of those certificates out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend.\u00a0 And I hope you can join us back on Monday, when Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth, are going to be here.\u00a0 We're going to spend time with them throughout the week talking about how the Chapman family is doing.\u00a0 Getting an update on what's going on with them, the projects they're working on, the concert tour they're getting ready to go out on.\u00a0 Mary Beth's got a brand new book that she's just written; we'll talk about some of what she's written in that book.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire Broadcast Production team, on behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey.\u00a0 I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamlyLife, of Little Rock, Arkansas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for Today.\u00a0 Hope for Tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302100","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302100"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302100"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302100"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302100"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302100"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302100"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302100"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}