{"id":302097,"date":"2010-08-24T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-08-24T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/understanding-a-strong-willed-child\/"},"modified":"2010-08-24T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-08-24T15:00:00","slug":"understanding-a-strong-willed-child","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-a-strong-willed-child\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding a Strong-Willed Child"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you appreciate the uniqueness of your child?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-08-24.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.76M","filesize_raw":"27006928","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2855,2870,2881],"tags":[4798,2209],"podcast_series":[7749],"cwp_profile":[3211,3058],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302097","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-teens","category-tweens","category-young-children","tag-kids","tag-parenting","podcast_series-understanding-your-childs-bent","cwp_profile-darcy-kimmel","cwp_profile-tim-kimmel","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302097\/understanding-a-strong-willed-child","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302097\/understanding-a-strong-willed-child","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"QcaHHJ9uPD\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-a-strong-willed-child\/\">Understanding a Strong-Willed Child<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-a-strong-willed-child\/embed\/#?secret=QcaHHJ9uPD\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Understanding a Strong-Willed Child&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"QcaHHJ9uPD\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-08-24.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-08-24.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Imagine a cookbook where everything was baked at 350 for 20 minutes, no matter what it was.\u00a0 You're cooking a hamburger.\u00a0 You're cooking a cake.\u00a0 Bake it for 350 at 20 minutes.\u00a0 How will that work?\u00a0 Unfortunately, when it comes to parenting, some of us try to use that \"one size fits all\" approach to raising children who are very different.\u00a0 Here's Darcy Kimmel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 As a parent, it's so important to be a student of your child.\u00a0 I mean, this is an eternal being that you have been entrusted with and so it's not hard to figure out what their bent is, it just takes some intentional research.\u00a0 And that's why knowing their strength, knowing their personality bent starts giving a context.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, August 24<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Today we're going to help you discover what is the right way for you as a parent to bring out the best in your child.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I remember thinking when our first born was born, \"This parenting thing's easy!\u00a0 I mean, we can have a dozen of these and we're not going to have any problem raising kids.\u00a0 It's just, it's simple.<br><\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 That's what happens when you only have one child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Why do parents struggle with their kids?\u00a0 I don't get it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 And then God gave you five and then the conclusion was?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well then God gave me two.\u00a0 All it took was two to go, \"Oh there's so much more...\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Oh, so it didn't take you to the fifth child to realize you didn't know what you were doing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 We're going to talk about some of those parenting challenges on today's program but we need to say a word of thanks here at the beginning of today's show.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 We do, and I just want to say thanks to our legacy partners and folks who have donated to the ministry.\u00a0 You know, every day we come to you with practical, biblical principles to help you in life's most important commitments:\u00a0 your relationship with God, your relationship with your spouse, and raising the next generation of children, and we\u2019re about to talk about raising children here in a moment.\u00a0 But we couldn't do it if we didn't have donors standing with us day in and day out here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 I just want to say thanks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was thinking the other day, Bob that I have a chance from time to time to go and visit with donors from around the country.\u00a0 I meet them at our Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage conferences.\u00a0 They'll come up and say \"Hi,\" perhaps if we're out to eat, and they recognize us, and I get a chance face-to-face to say \"Thank you.\"\u00a0 That's just what I want to do today.\u00a0 Although it's not face-to-face, it is heart-to-heart, and I really mean that, and I just want to express my appreciation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow today, we have with us a pair of old friends.\u00a0 I hate to say that because that makes us all sound ancient!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 We are!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, let's just be honest about where we are!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(All laughing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, at least they're three of us.\u00a0 We're showing our miles!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, Tim and Darcy Kimmel join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Darcy, Tim, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong> and <strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Tim and Darcy have four children, three grandchildren...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 See, this is where age really gets measured...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 It does!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 ...in the number of grandchildren.\u00a0 I have one granddaughter, you have three.\u00a0 Dennis, how many grandchildren do you have?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 16.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 I just thought I'd show you where everybody is on the age meter!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 We're amateurs!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 At least we're not pulling out our pictures.\u00a0 This is where it gets ridiculous!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Tim and Darcy give leadership to Family Matters, which is all about building grace-based relationships.\u00a0 You know, we definitely need help in doing that!\u00a0 Tim and Darcy, I just appreciate you guys.\u00a0 You're faithfulness to, first of all, the Bible, and bringing the Bible to people's homes in practical ways and equipping parents to be able to raise the next generation.\u00a0 You're really all about helping parents not only build biblical convictions into their lives, but also understanding their children's bent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 That's really an area where you've been focusing recently, this whole idea of helping parents understand the unique design of their child's personality.\u00a0 I guess in some ways a personality's a little like a fingerprint:\u00a0 everybody's got their own unique personality.\u00a0 But there are some common characteristics that, I hate to pigeon hole, but there are some things where we can observe:\u00a0 This person's more outgoing.\u00a0 This person is more shy.\u00a0 How do you break down?\u00a0 Is there a way to view human personality and say, here are the shades in which that all gets put together?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 In fact, this goes back even a couple thousand years.\u00a0 There are some very smart people observed.\u00a0 We basically fall into four quadrants, and most of the personality tools you find out there drop into these four shades or shadows that you talk about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEach one is a great place to be from and each one has great strengths.\u00a0 It has down sides, but the more I understand that as a parent and as a fellow member of a family, the better I can bring the best out of the people around me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 So, we'll talk about somebody being kind of a natural-born leader\u2014is leader one of those four quadrants?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Usually, leader is a combination of the quadrant that has more of a control-type bent to it.\u00a0 They kind of take over and lead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bo<\/strong>b:\u00a0 Like, \"I'm in charge?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes, like \"I'm in charge.\"\u00a0 That's that one.\u00a0 Combine with either \"I want to get it right,\" that's more of a perfect type style, or \"I want to have fun.\"\u00a0 If you have a person that wants to say \"I'm in charge, but we're going to have fun along the way,\" guess what?\u00a0 People want to follow that kind of person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 So, you're saying, \"I'm in charge.\u00a0 I want to have fun.\u00a0 I want to get it right\" are three of the four?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 That's three of the four.\u00a0 And then the other one is \"Let's all get along.\"\u00a0 That's the peace country-type person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 The people person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 The people person.\u00a0 They're wonderful, but if they're from that type of quadrant, guess what?\u00a0 When they have a birthday party, you don't want to invite 20 kids over.\u00a0 The fun people want 20 kids over; the peace people want two or three.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 They're best friends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Best friends.\u00a0 When you go fishing, what do you put on a hook?\u00a0 What you like to eat, or what the fish likes?\u00a0 I've caught a lot of fish throwing out what they like.\u00a0 And the same thing with my kids I want to win their heart.\u00a0 I want to transfer to them a heart for God and it makes all the difference in the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Darcy, most of us as parents just kind of assume that the things we would like would be the things our kids would like.\u00a0 So if I'm a fun parent, I'm going to invite 20 kids over because that sounds like a party to me.\u00a0 If I don't stop to realize that my son or daughter isn't necessarily wired like me, I can be trying to create experiences for them that just aren't getting there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 Right, and that creates hurt feelings, conflict, and as a parent it's so important to be a student of your child.\u00a0 I mean, this is an eternal being that you have been entrusted with.\u00a0 So it's not hard to figure out what their bent is it just takes some intentional research.\u00a0 That's why this kid's flag page is so great, because this is fun!\u00a0 It's not hard!\u00a0 And it helps a parent figure out why my child is that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 The kid's flag page you mentioned.\u00a0 Tim, explain for listeners what you're talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, we created a game that parents can play with their children.\u00a0 You can play this on to age five, and when you're done, you can create this neat thing we call the flag page that they can understand what major quadrant of those four quadrants they come from.\u00a0 What's their adopted quadrant?\u00a0 There's always another one that you feel comfortable with.\u00a0 And those two, in combination, create a really unique dynamic.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso, it helps you see where you're from.\u00a0 For instance, you threw the question about fun-type parent.\u00a0 What is a parent from Perfect Country?\u00a0 And your kids are more of a fun-loving person or a peace-loving person?\u00a0 Guess what?\u00a0 Their rooms are not going to be kept very neat because they don't care.\u00a0 But what if mom is from Perfect Country and it's got to be perfect all the time?\u00a0 Well she might be demanding a standard of quality for how they keep their bedroom that just brings the worst out of them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the same time, we're not saying that kids can just trash the place.\u00a0 In our family, we had a couple of kids that could care less about their room.\u00a0 We just gave them the leaf blower on Saturday and said, \"Whether you think this needs it or not, clean it up,\u201d and every Saturday, they cleaned up their room, and then it would just deteriorate from there on.\u00a0 But if we would have insisted, we would have sent kids out of our home with a chip on their shoulder, bitter towards us, on things that weren't as important to them as they were to us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 But, you know, the mom from Perfect Country, who just heard you say that, said \"No!\u00a0 No!\u00a0 No!\u00a0 No!\u00a0 Things being right and in order and clean this is right!\u00a0 This is not a personality issue, this is a moral issue!\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well then she has crossed over because sometimes we do make our own likes, dislikes and personality issues more of a moral issue.\u00a0 That can really drive a wedge between us and our kids and our kids and God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 You know, Dr. James Dobson made an interesting statement.\u00a0 He said, \"There is no such thing as biblically-approved personality, only biblically-approved character.\"\u00a0 I heard that early on as we were raising our kids and that relieved a great deal of stress from Barbara and me as parents of constantly trying to make a personality prescribed.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEach of our children, all six of them, were very, very different.\u00a0 I mean, we had the partiers, the fun kids.\u00a0 We had the intellectuals.\u00a0 We had the leaders who wanted to get it done and we had the followers who wanted to follow.\u00a0 It was interesting to see the tension that places not only on the parent to understand the children and who they are but also to watch the relationships between the children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Sure, there are some kids that want to play together, and there are others just satisfied to be by themselves.\u00a0 We need to understand this.\u00a0 Otherwise, we bring the worst out of them.\u00a0 You know what we're talking about, though, when you get above all this and you say to that Perfect Country mom, \"Lighten up,\" we're saying, \"Why don't you treat your kids the way God treats you?\"\u00a0 Because He's dealing with us in grace, and that quote you gave by Dr. Dobson is reflecting the gracious heart of God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou don't define personality through morals, you do character by that.\u00a0 And I can have a character-driven from Fun Country or Peace Country or Control Country or Perfect Country just as easily.\u00a0 But if I just make mine superior, then we're going to go into a tailspin.\u00a0 That's what I think a lot of parents do.\u00a0 I think a lot of it happens unwittingly because they don't have tools or some simple way to help identify what's there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Or it's the sheer numbers like Bob was talking about when you had one; \"We got this covered.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes, well, any parent that whines about the pressure of parenting, for us with four or six or five...we're just like \"Sorry, you don't get to do that.\u00a0 Because you can double-team one kid.\"\u00a0 But two kids, that's a man-to-man defense.\u00a0 Three kids is a zone defense.\u00a0 Four kids is a prevent defense.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 What's six, Tim? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mayhem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 After four it's all prevent!\u00a0 You just give them the short one just don't let them get behind you for that bomb.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I think of Michael and Krista.\u00a0 These were parents that had two boys, David and Grant.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid was her oldest one, and this kid was just embarrassing to them.\u00a0 He thought he was so funny and he would always be cracking jokes, but he's just a little kid he doesn't know how to get them balanced.\u00a0 He thought he was a great dancer and he didn't have rhythm, and he would want to dance at inappropriate times, like coming in to church, or whatever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 You could be describing Bob at this point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(All laughing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 And then on top of that, he was just so nit-picky.\u00a0 He didn't want his food touching, and when it came to bedtime ritual, if you did it out of sequence, it drove him nuts and he would make a scene.\u00a0 What's the difference whether you brush your teeth or go to the bathroom first?\u00a0 Who cares?\u00a0 Well it cared to him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo they just thought \"We are doomed.\u00a0 We've got this kid that's driving us nuts!\"\u00a0 They took the kid's flag page and they found out that their kid hails from Fun Country, and their adoptive country is Perfect Country.\u00a0 So he wanted to have a good time, but he wants to get it right.\u00a0 And both parents were from Control Country.\u00a0 They just wanted to take charge and do it their way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 First of all, they asked God in their heart to forgive them for marginalizing their son when there wasn't anything wrong with him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Trying to make him like them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 And they decided to do something fun.\u00a0 So he likes to entertain.\u00a0 By the way, when you're from Fun Country and you're from Perfect Country, they make the world's greatest entertainers.\u00a0 That combination is entertainers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Karaoke was invented for these people, wasn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes (laughing).\u00a0 So get this:\u00a0 his dad put his mind to this and made some fake microphones, and then he got out his iPod and he put the kids up on their king-sized bed and said, \"Kids, we're going to have a concert.\u00a0 We're going to call this Rock star Village, and you guys are going to put on a rock concert.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHis son David just lit up, and he (dad) got out the video camera and he turned on some songs.\u00a0 The kids were just dancing and doing their air guitars and singing and then he pulled them down like VH1 Behind the Music interview and asked \"How long have you been a rock star?\"\u00a0 And they were like \"I've been one all my life,\" and they were like five years old.\u00a0 And they were like \"Oh I just love entertaining people.\"\u00a0 And that went on and on and on.\u00a0 They had this great time and they videotaped it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, a couple of months later, they took them on a train trip, and up in northern Arizona they have a thing called the Polar Express.\u00a0 They just take a train out of town for half an hour to where Santa's Village is, and it's something that the kids look forward to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 The Polar Express in Arizona?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes, we get snow in Arizona!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Just to let you know, in 2010, Arizona lead all 50 states in snowfall, including Alaska.\u00a0 So we got a lot of snow this year, just not in Phoenix!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo they took them up to the Polar Express.\u00a0 The kids are having a wonderful time!\u00a0 Then the next year he took them to Disneyland and they were having a wonderful time.\u00a0 He's putting his son to bed, and his son suddenly got very quiet and reflective.\u00a0 And he knew he always said something serious when he does this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe says, \"Dad, this was a great trip.\u00a0 This is the third best event of my life.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \"Really?\u00a0 What were the other two?\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said the second was the Polar Express.\u00a0 He asked, \"What was the greatest?\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd he said, \"Rock star Village.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe hugged that boy, put him to sleep and prayed over him, and he went to talk to his wife and he said, \"We would've been such fools to write this boy off as being a misfit and a socially awkward nightmare when all along God had wired him to entertain.\"\u00a0 His whole thing about food and rituals, he wants to get it right.\u00a0 And they wanted to honor that.\u00a0 By the way, there's been a lot more peace in that family ever since they figured this out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, you actually help parents at that point understand how the child is wired.\u00a0 Again, it's not excusing behavior, but it's putting the child's life in context.\u00a0 There's one other area I want you to talk about, Darcy, and that's the issue of strong-willed children.\u00a0 How does understanding their bent help a parent in terms of raising a child who is constantly pushing back or refusing to be compliant?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, some parents have very compelling children.\u00a0 Most parents think their child is strong-willed, and yet there are some that know they are.\u00a0 And what usually happens is that the parents lock horns with them.\u00a0 It is just a constant struggle and it takes a lot of the joy out of the family.\u00a0 It really diminishes the other siblings because so much energy is going into that one strong-willed child.\u00a0 Knowing their personality bents, knowing their strengths, knowing that being a strong-willed person is a strength starts giving a context.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have two granddaughters, and one of them is very easy-going and the other one is quite strong-willed and I have a little story about this strong-willed granddaughter.\u00a0 Her sister, Riley, had accepted Jesus at vacation Bible school when she was seven.\u00a0 Her main mission field was then after that was her little sister, Lydia.\u00a0 But Lydia was a self-proclaimed pagan because every time Riley would bring this up, Lydia would say, \"I'm not ready to accept Jesus into my heart!\u00a0 I don\u2019t have Jesus into my heart, and don\u2019t ask me anymore!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you know, if Karris (our daughter) hadn\u2019t known that Lydia was strong-willed and this was the way she was, she may have come down on her and said, \u201cDon\u2019t say that!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut she said, \u201cOkay Lydia.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 When you\u2019re ready, when God is ready, you\u2019re going to go and accept Jesus.\u201d\u00a0 Well then, Lydia says, \u201cBut Mom, I would like to be baptized.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to accept Jesus yet, but I want to be baptized because I want to swim in church!\u201d\u00a0 She wants to swim in church!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe thinks that\u2019s what they\u2019re doing down there.\u00a0 Our daughter Karris said, \u201cNo, honey, you can\u2019t get baptized until you know Jesus.\u201d\u00a0 So, in the middle of the night, Lydia got up and she had wet her bed and she had gone in to Karris and said, \u201cI wet my bed, Mom.\u201d\u00a0 Karris cleaned her up, got her all dry, but the next morning, Lydia got up and she says, \u201cGuess what?\u00a0 I asked Jesus into my heart!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKarris said, \u201cTell me about that!\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cWell, all night God was waking me up and telling me it was time, I kept starting to pray but I kept falling back to sleep, and then He would wake me up and I\u2019d fall back to sleep.\u00a0 Finally, Mommy, He made me wet the bed!\u00a0 And how long has it been since I wet the bed?!\u00a0 A couple years!\u00a0 I\u2019m five, Mommy, I don\u2019t wet the bed anymore!\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cBut Jesus made me wet the bed, I got down on my knees, and accepted Jesus into my heart.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 What a story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 And so for a strong-willed child, they want some control over what\u2019s happening in their life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 That\u2019s an important distinction that you made right there at the end because when we hear about a strong-willed child, I think as a parent, one of my assignments is to get my strong-willed child to understand there is authority and there is respect for authority, and you are not the authority, and I am.\u00a0 This is a character lesson, now, this is moral\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 It\u2019s not the issue of the will at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 \u2026You\u2019re going to have to learn that you obey Mommy and Daddy; you\u2019re not in charge!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 But Bob, we put a whole chapter in the book on bringing the best out of strong-willed children.\u00a0 The key there, we say, is that we have the authority and they have to know we have the authority, but they just want some say in what\u2019s going on in their immediate life.\u00a0 You can give kids some say without surrendering authority.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 I want to read a passage that\u2019s the big picture.\u00a0 It says, \u201cFor we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.\u201d\u00a0 What\u2019s it teaching there?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Scriptures teach that each one of us has a God-assigned mission that we were uniquely designed for.\u00a0 And as parents, we\u2019ve been given these children not permanently, not to own, but as stewards to help shape and direct hopefully toward fulfilling the mission that God has for them.\u00a0 I think tools like what Tim and Darcy have created here, the flag page game which helps parents sort through how each of their children are made, is indispensible in helping parents understand how to direct that child, build into his or her life, and ultimately release them like an arrow toward the target.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 And kids like doing it.\u00a0 You pull it out and set it on the kitchen table, and the kids go, \u201cThis looks like fun!\u201d And it is fun!\u00a0 They learn about themselves.\u00a0 All of a sudden as a parent, you\u2019re getting some insight that you didn\u2019t have, that kids are having a good time in the process, and you can use this over and over again and continue to refine your understanding of your child.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, I think it\u2019s a great resource that you created for parents, and we\u2019ve got information about it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> resource center.\u00a0 If you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, there\u2019s more information about the Kid\u2019s Flag Page game, and you can order it from us if you like.\u00a0 FamilyLifeToday.com is the website.\u00a0 Or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-F as in \u201cfamily,\u201d L as in \u201clife,\u201d and then the word \u201ctoday.\u201d\u00a0 When you get in touch with us, ask about the Kid\u2019s Flag Page game, and we\u2019ll answer any questions you have or make arrangements to send one of these out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow let me give you just a quick update.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been encouraging you those who are regular listeners but who have never gotten in touch with us to let us know you are listening.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been asking you this month during the month of August you might consider making a first time donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We are listener supported and in each of the cities where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard we have folks who will call or online from time to time and make a donation to help cover the costs of producing and syndicating the costs of this daily radio program but this month we are hoping we can rally about 2500 first time donors.\u00a0 Those of you who listen regularly but have never gotten in touch with us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can make a donation this month of any amount to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> we\u2019d love to send you a CD series that features a conversation with authors Tim and Joy Downs about some of the most common causes of conflict in a marriage relationship.\u00a0 They wrote a book called <em>The Seven Conflicts of Marriage<\/em> and we talked with them about that.\u00a0 It\u2019s a two CD series and we\u2019ll send it out to you support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation of any amount this month.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are making the donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com type the word \u201cSEVEN\u201d in the key code box on the online donation form and we will send the CDs to you.\u00a0 Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make your donation over the phone and ask for the CDs on conflict.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention if you are a first time donor this month and if you can help with a donation of $100 or more we would love to send you as a special thank you gift a certificate so that you and your spouse can attend an upcoming FamilyLife Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaway.\u00a0 Again it\u2019s just our way of saying thanks for stepping forward and identifying yourself and letting us know you are a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener.\u00a0 We appreciate your support.\u00a0 We\u2019d love to see you this fall at one of our Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaways.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow tomorrow we want to encourage you to be back with us when Pastor James Ford is going to be here.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear about how he became a pastor.\u00a0 Actually how he became a Christian and it\u2019s a pretty remarkable story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James Ford:<\/strong>\u00a0 This guy he would witness about the Lord and you would know where Ray was because you would see a flood of people at lunch time running out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Scattering.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James Ford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just scattering.\u00a0 Like roaches when you turn on the light.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He repelled them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James Ford: <\/strong>\u00a0You just get in with the crowd because you know that guy that wants to talk about Jesus is behind us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.76M"],"filesize_raw":["27006928"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302097.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302097.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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you appreciate the uniqueness of your child?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-08-24.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Imagine a cookbook where everything was baked at 350 for 20 minutes, no matter what it was.\u00a0 You're cooking a hamburger.\u00a0 You're cooking a cake.\u00a0 Bake it for 350 at 20 minutes.\u00a0 How will that work?\u00a0 Unfortunately, when it comes to parenting, some of us try to use that \"one size fits all\" approach to raising children who are very different.\u00a0 Here's Darcy Kimmel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 As a parent, it's so important to be a student of your child.\u00a0 I mean, this is an eternal being that you have been entrusted with and so it's not hard to figure out what their bent is, it just takes some intentional research.\u00a0 And that's why knowing their strength, knowing their personality bent starts giving a context.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, August 24<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Today we're going to help you discover what is the right way for you as a parent to bring out the best in your child.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I remember thinking when our first born was born, \"This parenting thing's easy!\u00a0 I mean, we can have a dozen of these and we're not going to have any problem raising kids.\u00a0 It's just, it's simple.<br><\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 That's what happens when you only have one child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Why do parents struggle with their kids?\u00a0 I don't get it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 And then God gave you five and then the conclusion was?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well then God gave me two.\u00a0 All it took was two to go, \"Oh there's so much more...\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Oh, so it didn't take you to the fifth child to realize you didn't know what you were doing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 We're going to talk about some of those parenting challenges on today's program but we need to say a word of thanks here at the beginning of today's show.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 We do, and I just want to say thanks to our legacy partners and folks who have donated to the ministry.\u00a0 You know, every day we come to you with practical, biblical principles to help you in life's most important commitments:\u00a0 your relationship with God, your relationship with your spouse, and raising the next generation of children, and we\u2019re about to talk about raising children here in a moment.\u00a0 But we couldn't do it if we didn't have donors standing with us day in and day out here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 I just want to say thanks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was thinking the other day, Bob that I have a chance from time to time to go and visit with donors from around the country.\u00a0 I meet them at our Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage conferences.\u00a0 They'll come up and say \"Hi,\" perhaps if we're out to eat, and they recognize us, and I get a chance face-to-face to say \"Thank you.\"\u00a0 That's just what I want to do today.\u00a0 Although it's not face-to-face, it is heart-to-heart, and I really mean that, and I just want to express my appreciation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow today, we have with us a pair of old friends.\u00a0 I hate to say that because that makes us all sound ancient!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 We are!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, let's just be honest about where we are!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(All laughing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, at least they're three of us.\u00a0 We're showing our miles!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, Tim and Darcy Kimmel join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Darcy, Tim, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong> and <strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Tim and Darcy have four children, three grandchildren...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 See, this is where age really gets measured...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 It does!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 ...in the number of grandchildren.\u00a0 I have one granddaughter, you have three.\u00a0 Dennis, how many grandchildren do you have?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 16.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 I just thought I'd show you where everybody is on the age meter!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 We're amateurs!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 At least we're not pulling out our pictures.\u00a0 This is where it gets ridiculous!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Tim and Darcy give leadership to Family Matters, which is all about building grace-based relationships.\u00a0 You know, we definitely need help in doing that!\u00a0 Tim and Darcy, I just appreciate you guys.\u00a0 You're faithfulness to, first of all, the Bible, and bringing the Bible to people's homes in practical ways and equipping parents to be able to raise the next generation.\u00a0 You're really all about helping parents not only build biblical convictions into their lives, but also understanding their children's bent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 That's really an area where you've been focusing recently, this whole idea of helping parents understand the unique design of their child's personality.\u00a0 I guess in some ways a personality's a little like a fingerprint:\u00a0 everybody's got their own unique personality.\u00a0 But there are some common characteristics that, I hate to pigeon hole, but there are some things where we can observe:\u00a0 This person's more outgoing.\u00a0 This person is more shy.\u00a0 How do you break down?\u00a0 Is there a way to view human personality and say, here are the shades in which that all gets put together?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 In fact, this goes back even a couple thousand years.\u00a0 There are some very smart people observed.\u00a0 We basically fall into four quadrants, and most of the personality tools you find out there drop into these four shades or shadows that you talk about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEach one is a great place to be from and each one has great strengths.\u00a0 It has down sides, but the more I understand that as a parent and as a fellow member of a family, the better I can bring the best out of the people around me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 So, we'll talk about somebody being kind of a natural-born leader\u2014is leader one of those four quadrants?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Usually, leader is a combination of the quadrant that has more of a control-type bent to it.\u00a0 They kind of take over and lead.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bo<\/strong>b:\u00a0 Like, \"I'm in charge?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes, like \"I'm in charge.\"\u00a0 That's that one.\u00a0 Combine with either \"I want to get it right,\" that's more of a perfect type style, or \"I want to have fun.\"\u00a0 If you have a person that wants to say \"I'm in charge, but we're going to have fun along the way,\" guess what?\u00a0 People want to follow that kind of person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 So, you're saying, \"I'm in charge.\u00a0 I want to have fun.\u00a0 I want to get it right\" are three of the four?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 That's three of the four.\u00a0 And then the other one is \"Let's all get along.\"\u00a0 That's the peace country-type person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 The people person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 The people person.\u00a0 They're wonderful, but if they're from that type of quadrant, guess what?\u00a0 When they have a birthday party, you don't want to invite 20 kids over.\u00a0 The fun people want 20 kids over; the peace people want two or three.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 They're best friends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Best friends.\u00a0 When you go fishing, what do you put on a hook?\u00a0 What you like to eat, or what the fish likes?\u00a0 I've caught a lot of fish throwing out what they like.\u00a0 And the same thing with my kids I want to win their heart.\u00a0 I want to transfer to them a heart for God and it makes all the difference in the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Darcy, most of us as parents just kind of assume that the things we would like would be the things our kids would like.\u00a0 So if I'm a fun parent, I'm going to invite 20 kids over because that sounds like a party to me.\u00a0 If I don't stop to realize that my son or daughter isn't necessarily wired like me, I can be trying to create experiences for them that just aren't getting there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 Right, and that creates hurt feelings, conflict, and as a parent it's so important to be a student of your child.\u00a0 I mean, this is an eternal being that you have been entrusted with.\u00a0 So it's not hard to figure out what their bent is it just takes some intentional research.\u00a0 That's why this kid's flag page is so great, because this is fun!\u00a0 It's not hard!\u00a0 And it helps a parent figure out why my child is that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 The kid's flag page you mentioned.\u00a0 Tim, explain for listeners what you're talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, we created a game that parents can play with their children.\u00a0 You can play this on to age five, and when you're done, you can create this neat thing we call the flag page that they can understand what major quadrant of those four quadrants they come from.\u00a0 What's their adopted quadrant?\u00a0 There's always another one that you feel comfortable with.\u00a0 And those two, in combination, create a really unique dynamic.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso, it helps you see where you're from.\u00a0 For instance, you threw the question about fun-type parent.\u00a0 What is a parent from Perfect Country?\u00a0 And your kids are more of a fun-loving person or a peace-loving person?\u00a0 Guess what?\u00a0 Their rooms are not going to be kept very neat because they don't care.\u00a0 But what if mom is from Perfect Country and it's got to be perfect all the time?\u00a0 Well she might be demanding a standard of quality for how they keep their bedroom that just brings the worst out of them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the same time, we're not saying that kids can just trash the place.\u00a0 In our family, we had a couple of kids that could care less about their room.\u00a0 We just gave them the leaf blower on Saturday and said, \"Whether you think this needs it or not, clean it up,\u201d and every Saturday, they cleaned up their room, and then it would just deteriorate from there on.\u00a0 But if we would have insisted, we would have sent kids out of our home with a chip on their shoulder, bitter towards us, on things that weren't as important to them as they were to us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 But, you know, the mom from Perfect Country, who just heard you say that, said \"No!\u00a0 No!\u00a0 No!\u00a0 No!\u00a0 Things being right and in order and clean this is right!\u00a0 This is not a personality issue, this is a moral issue!\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well then she has crossed over because sometimes we do make our own likes, dislikes and personality issues more of a moral issue.\u00a0 That can really drive a wedge between us and our kids and our kids and God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 You know, Dr. James Dobson made an interesting statement.\u00a0 He said, \"There is no such thing as biblically-approved personality, only biblically-approved character.\"\u00a0 I heard that early on as we were raising our kids and that relieved a great deal of stress from Barbara and me as parents of constantly trying to make a personality prescribed.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEach of our children, all six of them, were very, very different.\u00a0 I mean, we had the partiers, the fun kids.\u00a0 We had the intellectuals.\u00a0 We had the leaders who wanted to get it done and we had the followers who wanted to follow.\u00a0 It was interesting to see the tension that places not only on the parent to understand the children and who they are but also to watch the relationships between the children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Sure, there are some kids that want to play together, and there are others just satisfied to be by themselves.\u00a0 We need to understand this.\u00a0 Otherwise, we bring the worst out of them.\u00a0 You know what we're talking about, though, when you get above all this and you say to that Perfect Country mom, \"Lighten up,\" we're saying, \"Why don't you treat your kids the way God treats you?\"\u00a0 Because He's dealing with us in grace, and that quote you gave by Dr. Dobson is reflecting the gracious heart of God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou don't define personality through morals, you do character by that.\u00a0 And I can have a character-driven from Fun Country or Peace Country or Control Country or Perfect Country just as easily.\u00a0 But if I just make mine superior, then we're going to go into a tailspin.\u00a0 That's what I think a lot of parents do.\u00a0 I think a lot of it happens unwittingly because they don't have tools or some simple way to help identify what's there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Or it's the sheer numbers like Bob was talking about when you had one; \"We got this covered.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes, well, any parent that whines about the pressure of parenting, for us with four or six or five...we're just like \"Sorry, you don't get to do that.\u00a0 Because you can double-team one kid.\"\u00a0 But two kids, that's a man-to-man defense.\u00a0 Three kids is a zone defense.\u00a0 Four kids is a prevent defense.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 What's six, Tim? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mayhem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 After four it's all prevent!\u00a0 You just give them the short one just don't let them get behind you for that bomb.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I think of Michael and Krista.\u00a0 These were parents that had two boys, David and Grant.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDavid was her oldest one, and this kid was just embarrassing to them.\u00a0 He thought he was so funny and he would always be cracking jokes, but he's just a little kid he doesn't know how to get them balanced.\u00a0 He thought he was a great dancer and he didn't have rhythm, and he would want to dance at inappropriate times, like coming in to church, or whatever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 You could be describing Bob at this point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(All laughing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 And then on top of that, he was just so nit-picky.\u00a0 He didn't want his food touching, and when it came to bedtime ritual, if you did it out of sequence, it drove him nuts and he would make a scene.\u00a0 What's the difference whether you brush your teeth or go to the bathroom first?\u00a0 Who cares?\u00a0 Well it cared to him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo they just thought \"We are doomed.\u00a0 We've got this kid that's driving us nuts!\"\u00a0 They took the kid's flag page and they found out that their kid hails from Fun Country, and their adoptive country is Perfect Country.\u00a0 So he wanted to have a good time, but he wants to get it right.\u00a0 And both parents were from Control Country.\u00a0 They just wanted to take charge and do it their way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 First of all, they asked God in their heart to forgive them for marginalizing their son when there wasn't anything wrong with him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Trying to make him like them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 And they decided to do something fun.\u00a0 So he likes to entertain.\u00a0 By the way, when you're from Fun Country and you're from Perfect Country, they make the world's greatest entertainers.\u00a0 That combination is entertainers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Karaoke was invented for these people, wasn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes (laughing).\u00a0 So get this:\u00a0 his dad put his mind to this and made some fake microphones, and then he got out his iPod and he put the kids up on their king-sized bed and said, \"Kids, we're going to have a concert.\u00a0 We're going to call this Rock star Village, and you guys are going to put on a rock concert.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHis son David just lit up, and he (dad) got out the video camera and he turned on some songs.\u00a0 The kids were just dancing and doing their air guitars and singing and then he pulled them down like VH1 Behind the Music interview and asked \"How long have you been a rock star?\"\u00a0 And they were like \"I've been one all my life,\" and they were like five years old.\u00a0 And they were like \"Oh I just love entertaining people.\"\u00a0 And that went on and on and on.\u00a0 They had this great time and they videotaped it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Well, a couple of months later, they took them on a train trip, and up in northern Arizona they have a thing called the Polar Express.\u00a0 They just take a train out of town for half an hour to where Santa's Village is, and it's something that the kids look forward to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 The Polar Express in Arizona?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes, we get snow in Arizona!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 Just to let you know, in 2010, Arizona lead all 50 states in snowfall, including Alaska.\u00a0 So we got a lot of snow this year, just not in Phoenix!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo they took them up to the Polar Express.\u00a0 The kids are having a wonderful time!\u00a0 Then the next year he took them to Disneyland and they were having a wonderful time.\u00a0 He's putting his son to bed, and his son suddenly got very quiet and reflective.\u00a0 And he knew he always said something serious when he does this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe says, \"Dad, this was a great trip.\u00a0 This is the third best event of my life.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \"Really?\u00a0 What were the other two?\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said the second was the Polar Express.\u00a0 He asked, \"What was the greatest?\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd he said, \"Rock star Village.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe hugged that boy, put him to sleep and prayed over him, and he went to talk to his wife and he said, \"We would've been such fools to write this boy off as being a misfit and a socially awkward nightmare when all along God had wired him to entertain.\"\u00a0 His whole thing about food and rituals, he wants to get it right.\u00a0 And they wanted to honor that.\u00a0 By the way, there's been a lot more peace in that family ever since they figured this out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, you actually help parents at that point understand how the child is wired.\u00a0 Again, it's not excusing behavior, but it's putting the child's life in context.\u00a0 There's one other area I want you to talk about, Darcy, and that's the issue of strong-willed children.\u00a0 How does understanding their bent help a parent in terms of raising a child who is constantly pushing back or refusing to be compliant?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, some parents have very compelling children.\u00a0 Most parents think their child is strong-willed, and yet there are some that know they are.\u00a0 And what usually happens is that the parents lock horns with them.\u00a0 It is just a constant struggle and it takes a lot of the joy out of the family.\u00a0 It really diminishes the other siblings because so much energy is going into that one strong-willed child.\u00a0 Knowing their personality bents, knowing their strengths, knowing that being a strong-willed person is a strength starts giving a context.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have two granddaughters, and one of them is very easy-going and the other one is quite strong-willed and I have a little story about this strong-willed granddaughter.\u00a0 Her sister, Riley, had accepted Jesus at vacation Bible school when she was seven.\u00a0 Her main mission field was then after that was her little sister, Lydia.\u00a0 But Lydia was a self-proclaimed pagan because every time Riley would bring this up, Lydia would say, \"I'm not ready to accept Jesus into my heart!\u00a0 I don\u2019t have Jesus into my heart, and don\u2019t ask me anymore!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you know, if Karris (our daughter) hadn\u2019t known that Lydia was strong-willed and this was the way she was, she may have come down on her and said, \u201cDon\u2019t say that!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut she said, \u201cOkay Lydia.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 When you\u2019re ready, when God is ready, you\u2019re going to go and accept Jesus.\u201d\u00a0 Well then, Lydia says, \u201cBut Mom, I would like to be baptized.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to accept Jesus yet, but I want to be baptized because I want to swim in church!\u201d\u00a0 She wants to swim in church!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughing)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe thinks that\u2019s what they\u2019re doing down there.\u00a0 Our daughter Karris said, \u201cNo, honey, you can\u2019t get baptized until you know Jesus.\u201d\u00a0 So, in the middle of the night, Lydia got up and she had wet her bed and she had gone in to Karris and said, \u201cI wet my bed, Mom.\u201d\u00a0 Karris cleaned her up, got her all dry, but the next morning, Lydia got up and she says, \u201cGuess what?\u00a0 I asked Jesus into my heart!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKarris said, \u201cTell me about that!\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cWell, all night God was waking me up and telling me it was time, I kept starting to pray but I kept falling back to sleep, and then He would wake me up and I\u2019d fall back to sleep.\u00a0 Finally, Mommy, He made me wet the bed!\u00a0 And how long has it been since I wet the bed?!\u00a0 A couple years!\u00a0 I\u2019m five, Mommy, I don\u2019t wet the bed anymore!\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cBut Jesus made me wet the bed, I got down on my knees, and accepted Jesus into my heart.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 What a story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darcy<\/strong>:\u00a0 And so for a strong-willed child, they want some control over what\u2019s happening in their life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 That\u2019s an important distinction that you made right there at the end because when we hear about a strong-willed child, I think as a parent, one of my assignments is to get my strong-willed child to understand there is authority and there is respect for authority, and you are not the authority, and I am.\u00a0 This is a character lesson, now, this is moral\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 It\u2019s not the issue of the will at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 \u2026You\u2019re going to have to learn that you obey Mommy and Daddy; you\u2019re not in charge!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tim<\/strong>:\u00a0 But Bob, we put a whole chapter in the book on bringing the best out of strong-willed children.\u00a0 The key there, we say, is that we have the authority and they have to know we have the authority, but they just want some say in what\u2019s going on in their immediate life.\u00a0 You can give kids some say without surrendering authority.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 I want to read a passage that\u2019s the big picture.\u00a0 It says, \u201cFor we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.\u201d\u00a0 What\u2019s it teaching there?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Scriptures teach that each one of us has a God-assigned mission that we were uniquely designed for.\u00a0 And as parents, we\u2019ve been given these children not permanently, not to own, but as stewards to help shape and direct hopefully toward fulfilling the mission that God has for them.\u00a0 I think tools like what Tim and Darcy have created here, the flag page game which helps parents sort through how each of their children are made, is indispensible in helping parents understand how to direct that child, build into his or her life, and ultimately release them like an arrow toward the target.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 And kids like doing it.\u00a0 You pull it out and set it on the kitchen table, and the kids go, \u201cThis looks like fun!\u201d And it is fun!\u00a0 They learn about themselves.\u00a0 All of a sudden as a parent, you\u2019re getting some insight that you didn\u2019t have, that kids are having a good time in the process, and you can use this over and over again and continue to refine your understanding of your child.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, I think it\u2019s a great resource that you created for parents, and we\u2019ve got information about it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> resource center.\u00a0 If you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, there\u2019s more information about the Kid\u2019s Flag Page game, and you can order it from us if you like.\u00a0 FamilyLifeToday.com is the website.\u00a0 Or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY\u20141-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-F as in \u201cfamily,\u201d L as in \u201clife,\u201d and then the word \u201ctoday.\u201d\u00a0 When you get in touch with us, ask about the Kid\u2019s Flag Page game, and we\u2019ll answer any questions you have or make arrangements to send one of these out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow let me give you just a quick update.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been encouraging you those who are regular listeners but who have never gotten in touch with us to let us know you are listening.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been asking you this month during the month of August you might consider making a first time donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We are listener supported and in each of the cities where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard we have folks who will call or online from time to time and make a donation to help cover the costs of producing and syndicating the costs of this daily radio program but this month we are hoping we can rally about 2500 first time donors.\u00a0 Those of you who listen regularly but have never gotten in touch with us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can make a donation this month of any amount to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> we\u2019d love to send you a CD series that features a conversation with authors Tim and Joy Downs about some of the most common causes of conflict in a marriage relationship.\u00a0 They wrote a book called <em>The Seven Conflicts of Marriage<\/em> and we talked with them about that.\u00a0 It\u2019s a two CD series and we\u2019ll send it out to you support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation of any amount this month.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are making the donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com type the word \u201cSEVEN\u201d in the key code box on the online donation form and we will send the CDs to you.\u00a0 Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make your donation over the phone and ask for the CDs on conflict.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention if you are a first time donor this month and if you can help with a donation of $100 or more we would love to send you as a special thank you gift a certificate so that you and your spouse can attend an upcoming FamilyLife Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaway.\u00a0 Again it\u2019s just our way of saying thanks for stepping forward and identifying yourself and letting us know you are a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener.\u00a0 We appreciate your support.\u00a0 We\u2019d love to see you this fall at one of our Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage getaways.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow tomorrow we want to encourage you to be back with us when Pastor James Ford is going to be here.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear about how he became a pastor.\u00a0 Actually how he became a Christian and it\u2019s a pretty remarkable story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James Ford:<\/strong>\u00a0 This guy he would witness about the Lord and you would know where Ray was because you would see a flood of people at lunch time running out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Scattering.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James Ford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just scattering.\u00a0 Like roaches when you turn on the light.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He repelled them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>James Ford: <\/strong>\u00a0You just get in with the crowd because you know that guy that wants to talk about Jesus is behind us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302097","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302097"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302097"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302097"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302097"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302097"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302097"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302097"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}