{"id":302090,"date":"2010-08-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-08-13T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-teen-years\/"},"modified":"2010-08-13T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-08-13T15:00:00","slug":"the-teen-years","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-teen-years\/","title":{"rendered":"The Teen Years"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Being a teen is rough, but doubly so when you&#8217;re an orphan.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-08-13.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.24M","filesize_raw":"27516963","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[5155],"podcast_series":[7747],"cwp_profile":[9209],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302090","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-inspiration","podcast_series-castaway-kid","cwp_profile-rob-mitchell","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302090\/the-teen-years","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302090\/the-teen-years","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"jpLCNnxe0m\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-teen-years\/\">The Teen Years<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-teen-years\/embed\/#?secret=jpLCNnxe0m\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Teen Years&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"jpLCNnxe0m\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Being a teen is rough, but doubly so when you're an orphan.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-08-13.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>One of the things He said was, \u201cYou need to repent of your sins\u201d\u2014of the things you thought, said, and done that offend God.\u00a0 I got pretty angry.\u00a0 I said, \u201cNo!\u00a0 God owes me an apology.\u00a0 Why should I apologize to a God who would leave me in an orphanage for 14 years?\u201d\u00a0 No, and I walked away from it for a while.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 13th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Today we will hear from Rob Mitchell about the relentless pursuit of Jesus and about how he was finally adopted.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; thanks for joining us.\u00a0 As I heard you reading James 1 about pure and undefiled religion\u2014visiting the orphans in their distress\u2014I was captured by that word \u201cdistress\u201d because I don\u2019t know that I ever stopped\u2014I\u2019ve focused on the need to visit the orphans; but I don\u2019t know that I ever stopped to ponder the distress that is associated with not having the foundation of a family to grow up in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Not having anyone to protect you, being bullied, picked-on, having to fend for yourself.\u00a0 Having to make sense out of a world, that to a child without a family, how do you make sense out of it?\u00a0 How do you piece it together to know how to have normal relationships?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI am grateful to God that Rob Mitchell joins us as a guest again here on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Rob, I am grateful that you took the time to write your story in the book <em>Castaway Kid<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thanks for having me as a guest.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Rob is a senior vice president investment counselor.\u00a0 He lives in North Carolina with his wife.\u00a0 He has two children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we heard earlier was\u2014I hate to say this in such a casual term but this is really what happened\u2014you were dropped off at an orphanage at the age of 3 by your mother without her saying, \u201cGoodbye.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Exactly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You grew up in that orphanage into your teen years.\u00a0 Back to Bob\u2019s statement, distress would describe those years up until your teenage years, wouldn\u2019t you say?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>As you look back on that period of time do you look back with any fond memories?\u00a0 Do you look back with any warmth and go, \u201cWell, this part of my life was good.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There are some and they are limited.\u00a0 One of the things that institutional childcare does is that it protects you from the abuse on the streets.\u00a0 The orphanage\u2014the Children\u2019s Home was a ministry; and strangers whose names and faces I will never know contributed $1, $10, $100 to keep kids like us with food, clothing, and shelter.\u00a0 I know that that was sometimes a monthly battle to pay the bills.\u00a0 I appreciate that I was protected from the abuse of the streets of Chicago that I could have been subject to.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI appreciate Nola and her love.\u00a0 I appreciated eventually some of the men who tried to mentor me.\u00a0 I say \u201ctried\u201d because they tried; but I didn\u2019t buy into it.\u00a0 That wasn\u2019t their fault. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What did that look like?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>By my junior year in high school, my anger had blown me out of sports.\u00a0 I was doing drugs and alcohol.\u00a0 The Home realized that they were losing their teenage boys especially.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t a formal mentoring program; but it was, \u201cMaybe we can get some guys from the community.\u201d\u00a0 I know they did something for the girls; I just don\u2019t remember.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor me, it was four ordinary men.\u00a0 I absolutely celebrate ordinary people.\u00a0 I have the joy of speaking around the nation to see, not celebrities looking for photo opportunities, but diesel mechanics out there just showing up and doing it.\u00a0 I am absolutely persuaded that love is a four-letter word spelled \u201ctime.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Kids like us don\u2019t want to know how much you know.\u00a0 We want to know how much you care.\u00a0 You have to keep showing up, and then maybe we will listen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is a guy named Jim who taught me to lift weights and ham radio.\u00a0 A guy named Bob who taught me to hunt, to walk in the woods in the dark and not trip, to tell time by the sun and stars.\u00a0 I still don\u2019t wear a watch, and it still drives my wife of 30 years crazy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA guy named Swannee.\u00a0 I had breakfast with Swannee about a year and a half ago.\u00a0 He signed off on this.\u00a0 Swannee is one of the goofiest-looking human beings on the face of the planet.\u00a0 Imagine a bowling pin with thin red hair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSeriously.\u00a0 He said, \u201cCouldn\u2019t you just say I had a mature waistline?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I wish our listeners could see your face right now because you have been telling your story; and you have had a pretty somber expression on your face.\u00a0 But when you started talking about these mentors\u2014all of a sudden\u2014you have dimples.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou are grinning.\u00a0 Your face is lit up.\u00a0 These men gave their time to you as a boy.\u00a0 It met a profound need in your life, didn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It did.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t forgotten them.\u00a0 Swannee loved the outdoors and wilderness and whitewater.\u00a0 Because of Swannee, I lived in the jungles of Congo, drove a pick-up truck 2,500 miles across Africa, back-packed the Swiss and German Alps, many of the American Alps and whitewater because a goofy-looking human being showed me I could.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA guy named Marv who taught me to drive a car with a push-button transmission.\u00a0 If your listeners know what that is, they are old.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOld Chryslers and Plymouths.\u00a0 My face lights up because so many people are overwhelmed by the needs of society of the distressed orphan.\u00a0 Yet I would come back to them and say, \u201cLook, just show up.\u201d\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to have a PhD in child psychology.\u00a0 You can be a diesel engine mechanic who will never get grease out of your fingers.\u00a0 We just want, especially the guys, a male to keep showing up.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I can add to that, I am going to pick on Bob because he obviously deserves it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is what happens.\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 It is a Friday.\u00a0 One of the guys at the Home says, \u201cWhat are you doing tomorrow?\u201d\u00a0 I say, \u201cOh, some Do-gooder is going to show up and take me fishing.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s his name?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t care.\u201d\u00a0 A month later one of the guys says, \u201cWhat are you doing tomorrow?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOh, this Goof-bucket Bob is coming to take me fishing.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cGood luck with that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA couple of months later a guy says, \u201cWhat are you doing Saturday?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going fishing with Bob.\u201d\u00a0 A couple of months later, \u201cWhat are you doing Saturday?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cMy buddy Bob and I are going fishing.\u201d\u00a0 Bob doesn\u2019t need to be good-looking.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t need to be brilliant.\u00a0 He just has to show up.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You had a diagnosis from a doctor during your teen years that was significant, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 My mother kidnapped me for three months.\u00a0 We scurried about Chicago like cockroaches.\u00a0 When they finally got us, they put me through a battery of psychiatric tests.\u00a0 This document\u2014as well as others\u2014is on my website because I wanted to have them there so people couldn\u2019t challenge the authenticity of the hope within my story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was eight years old, and the doctor, the psychiatrist, diagnosed me as being able to intellectualize my emotions.\u00a0 That is a nice phrase.\u00a0 I don\u2019t quite know how I could do it.\u00a0 It\u2019s like putting them in a box and locking them down.\u00a0 In some ways, it was a survivor\u2019s skill.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That sounds sociopathic.\u00a0 That sounds like the kind of thing where that guy could grow up and be very dangerous.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I had sociopathic tendencies.\u00a0 I got a chemistry set\u2014loved my chemistry set.\u00a0 I had it taken away because I started blowing up frogs.\u00a0 I was blowing the frogs up because I put names on those frogs and those were people I was killing.\u00a0 They realized it and took my chemistry set away.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Was it while you were still in the Home that the transformation in your life took place?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It began.\u00a0 The summer before my senior year in high school I got invited to be a life guard and swim instructor at Covenant Harbor Bible Camp in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin.\u00a0 I thought they were nuts to hire a punk like me; but now this is great because I don\u2019t have to be Robbie from the orphanage.\u00a0 I can just be Rob.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got to engage in my favorite sport which is hunting and catching silly girls.\u00a0 I loved that sport.\u00a0 They wanted to be caught; I wanted to catch them.\u00a0 What\u2019s the problem?\u00a0 The problem was all these goody-two-shoe Christian girls on staff.\u00a0 One literally got in my face with a frying pan and said, \u201cYou get out of line, and I\u2019m smacking you.\u201d\u00a0 I remember wondering, \u201cWhere do you breed females like this?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAnd why?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You hadn\u2019t met any of those?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No.\u00a0 They were hampering my agenda.\u00a0 One week a blonde-haired, blue-eyed minister\u2019s daughter showed up.\u00a0 I looked at her and said, \u201cWoof!\u00a0 This hound is going to hunt!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cForget the frying pan; she\u2019s cute!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe should have been afraid of a wolf like me, and she had this incredible calm.\u00a0 She knew who she was.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t frighten her.\u00a0 We were on date 2, we\u2019re on the canoe and I\u2019m trying to impress her.\u00a0 She goes, \u201cTell me about your relationship with Jesus.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cI don\u2019t have one. I don\u2019t buy this whole loving heavenly Father image.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Had you ever been to church?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes.\u00a0 We got dragged to church all the time.\u00a0 We had Noah\u2019s Bible stories.\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard testimonies where people say, \u201cJesus was never preached in my church.\u201d\u00a0 At least for myself, I would have to say, \u201cI never heard it.\u201d\u00a0 There is a difference.\u00a0 The Jesus I heard walked three feet above the ground and never got His feet dirty.\u00a0 He seemed like a limp-wristed woos to me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>When you tell this cute girl in the canoe that you really didn\u2019t have any use for Jesus, what happened next?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She goes, \u201cI don\u2019t think you have examined the evidence.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I\u2019m pretty sure written on the heart of every teenage boy is, \u201cHow to overcome the objection of silly girls.\u201d\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 I\u2019m pretty sure it is on every boy\u2019s heart.\u00a0 This is not in there.\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if you have noticed, but teenage boys will do a lot of stupid stuff to impress a girl.\u00a0 Some of us do stupid at a really high level.\u00a0 She is cute.\u00a0 It is a book.\u00a0 I want to impress her.\u00a0 I\u2019ll start reading it.\u00a0 I started reading the Jesus books.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How old were you at this point?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I was 16, turning 17, going into my senior year in high school.\u00a0 My last year at the orphanage knowing that racing at me is a one-way bus ticket to where ever I want to go; and, \u201cGood luck, kid.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You were going to be out of the orphanage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At 18 or when you finish high school, you are out on your own.\u00a0 If you are in jail, don\u2019t call; there is no bail.\u00a0 If you are in a hospital, don\u2019t call; there is no money.\u00a0 If you die, they will give you a pauper\u2019s funeral.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>When you are 17 and facing your senior year knowing, \u201cI don\u2019t know what next year is, but I am on my own.\u201d\u00a0 That has to be a frightening proposition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is very frightening.\u00a0 Most boys like us, girls too, we don\u2019t know how to manage money.\u00a0 We don\u2019t know what a checkbook is.\u00a0 We have no sense of differed gratification or long-term planning.\u00a0 It is pretty overwhelming.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So you are facing that.\u00a0 The cute girl says, \u201cI don\u2019t think you have examined the evidence.\u201d\u00a0 You start reading the Jesus books.\u00a0 What\u2019s next?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I got very troubled by this Jesus.\u00a0 This was a different Jesus than I had heard from the pulpit.\u00a0 He got hungry, He got thirsty, He got tired, He got his feet dirty.\u00a0 I really didn\u2019t know that.\u00a0 He got betrayed by people He should have been able to trust.\u00a0 That one I understood.\u00a0 He got angry, but His anger was different.\u00a0 Mine was destructive.\u00a0 Mine was a punch-a-hole-in-the-wall kind of anger\u2014smash a face in.\u00a0 He was frustrated because people were too hard-headed, stiff-necked, and heart-hearted to buy into this God that He kept talking about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things He said was, \u201cYou need to repent of your sins\u201d\u2014of the things you thought, said, and done that offend God.\u00a0 I got pretty angry.\u00a0 I said, \u201cNo!\u00a0 God owes me an apology.\u00a0 Why should I apologize to a God who would leave me in an orphanage for 14 years?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy last great struggle with God was, \u201cWhy?\u201d\u00a0 If God is all-knowing and God is all-powerful, God knows what I have thought, knows what I have said, God knows what I have done to myself and done to others.\u00a0\u00a0 I cannot clean up good enough for this God, and I will not play the game of \u201cThe Cutest Puppy Dog in the Foster Care Window.\u201d\u00a0 I am not playing that game.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo--why?\u00a0 Why would He want me?\u00a0 God was offering to adopt me, a kid wearing the ragged and social clothes of emotional poverty\u2014just as I am.\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember the day, but it was September of 1971 by myself in the orphanage.\u00a0 I prayed a very simple prayer.\u00a0 I said, \u201cIf you are real and you will forgive someone like me and you\u2019ll come into my life and change me in a way that I can recognize, then I am yours; but if you don\u2019t, you are a fraud.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNot a typical sinner\u2019s prayer.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t hear angels sing, and I didn\u2019t roll on the floor in spiritual ecstasy; but in a moment I absolutely knew that the holy God of the universe had reached out of heaven and touched the heart of an angry, bitter punk in an American orphanage and began to change my life.\u00a0 ( muffled sobbing)\u00a0 That was 1971, and I remain amazed\u2014absolutely amazed.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Rob, that forgiveness that you experienced from God and that redeeming love that adopted you into His family ultimately compelled you to forgive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Share that story of how God worked in your heart to forgive those who had abandoned you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>God started calling me to forgive several years after accepting Christ.\u00a0 I fought God hard, which is a bit of a theme of my life.\u00a0 (laughter)\u00a0 Part of my protest to God was, \u201cLook, my Grandmother Mitchell is dead.\u00a0 She is not going to know she is forgiven.\u00a0 My father is a walking vegetable in a mental hospital.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t have the capacity to know he is forgiven.\u201d\u00a0 I tried once a year out of guilt to try to find my mother, but she was usually chaotic so she may never know.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat difference does it make, God?\u00a0 They will never know.\u201d\u00a0 I have come to learn that God is sometimes terribly inconvenient.\u00a0 He wouldn\u2019t let go.\u00a0 I began a process that I share in my book of naming the \u201cit.\u201d\u00a0 What was \u201cit\u201d?\u00a0 Sometimes there are multiple \u201cits\u201d that I needed to forgive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy Grandmother Mitchell\u2014I needed to forgive her for apathy.\u00a0\u00a0 Apathy is somebody who could make a difference but doesn\u2019t care.\u00a0 I had to forgive my father for abandonment because suicide is abandonment.\u00a0 I had to forgive my mother for her chaos.\u00a0 My mother wounded me the most, over and over again.\u00a0 My father was a ghost.\u00a0 She was the hardest.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I finally learned in the very painful process of forgiving\u2014and it was very painful\u2014was forgiving didn\u2019t free any of them.\u00a0 Forgiving freed me.\u00a0 It freed me to become the man God imagined I could become, not the man my past said I was doomed to become.\u00a0 I forgave them, honestly and genuinely.\u00a0 I have not been angry, and I have not been bitter.\u00a0 I certainly have not been hopeless since.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How did you forgive them?\u00a0 You are talking about your life being altered at a most profound emotional dramatic level.\u00a0 I know you have been forgiven by God through Christ, but how did you forgive them as a young man in college?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>When I talk to folks, I share that you have to name it in order to face it.\u00a0 What is the\u201d it\u201d?\u00a0 To say, \u201cMy dad was a lousy father\u2014I forgive him.\u201d\u00a0 Hog wash!\u00a0 I don\u2019t buy that.\u00a0 \u201cHe did the best he could.\u201d\u00a0 Hog wash!\u00a0 I don\u2019t buy that.\u00a0 That is dismissing; that is justifying.\u00a0 That is not forgiving.\u00a0 My challenge to myself and to others is, \u201cWhat is \u201cit\u201d that needs to be forgiven?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt took a while to figure out that apathy was what I had to forgive for my Grandmother Mitchell.\u00a0 It took a while to figure out that suicide really had nothing to do with me.\u00a0 My father was running away from his own issues.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat is the \u201cit\u201d you have to forgive?\u00a0 Again, forgiving is certainly not justifying.\u00a0 I could come up with all the justifications in the world for my father.\u00a0 That is not forgiving.\u00a0 Forgiving is naming it and facing it.\u00a0 We are called to \u201ccast our anxieties upon Him for He cares for you.\u201d\u00a0 Forgiving is taking that up\u2014whatever the \u201cit\u201d is or the multiple \u201cits\u201d and saying, \u201cGod, help me release this.\u00a0 As you have forgiven me as far as the east is from the west, help me honestly and genuinely forgive this.\u201d\u00a0 It is a process.\u00a0 I encourage your listeners to start with the easiest one.\u00a0 List them all; but start with the easiest one because the further you go up that ladder, the harder it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think your challenge is a good one because in order to get to that point you mentioned a key word \u201crelease.\u201d\u00a0 You have to release the punishment\u2014to no longer punish your father because of his attempt at suicide and to give up the right to punish him.\u00a0 By releasing them, the end result is\u2014you said\u2014you were the one who was freed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Exactly.\u00a0 Forgiving doesn\u2019t free the other; it frees us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Rob, I want to thank you for your story, being willing to share God\u2019s work in your life in an honest way.\u00a0 I think within the Christian community, we want to keep things on a level of veneer\u2014we don\u2019t want to get real about the harshness of life and the realities that people do disappoint us.\u00a0 There are some \u201cits\u201d that do need to be named.\u00a0 I appreciate your courage in doing that as a young man in college but also as a businessman now investing your life in the orphan-care movement across the nation, speaking out on their behalf as one of them, as only you can.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>(muffled sobbing) Thank you.\u00a0 I am the voice from the inside out.\u00a0 This is just a story of an amazing God.\u00a0 I am one of the 500,000 kids in America, official kids, who are cast away\u2014the 100,000 in America who are eligible for adoption and the 143 million around the world.\u00a0 Every day in every nation, in every culture, and every language is a kid like me who is praying, who is hoping, who is desperately hoping that somebody is listening and somebody will rescue them soon.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Rob, you are aware and I know that many of our listeners are aware of what we are trying to do here at FamilyLife to make that a reality through our Hope for Orphans outreach to equip individuals and churches to get involved, providing strategies and help to make that happen.\u00a0 Let me point our listeners to our website FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 When you go there, you will find a link to the Hope for Orphans area of the website.\u00a0 There are all kinds of ideas, all kinds of ways you can get involved or you can lead an effort in your local church and get your whole church involved.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, FamilyLifeToday.com is our website.\u00a0 Online you will also find information about Rob\u2019s book which is called <em>Castaway Kid<\/em>.\u00a0 We have that in our FamilyLife TodayResource Center.\u00a0 You can order online if you would like at FamilyLifeToday.com or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and order over the phone.\u00a0 Again, it is FamilyLifeToday.com or 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just give you an update before we are done today on the campaign we have going on this month.\u00a0 We are hoping that over the next several weeks we will hear from 2,500 of those of you who are regular listeners of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> but have never gotten in touch with us\u2014you have never called in to make a donation or connect with us in any way.\u00a0 We are asking you to do that this month and to make a first-time donation to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are listener-supported and this month we are facing some challenges and actually hoping that you can pitch in and help cover the costs associated with the production and syndication of this daily radio program.\u00a0 We don\u2019t want to have to cut back or prune any of the stations where the program is currently heard.\u00a0 To make that happen, we would like to hear, as I said, from about 100 new first-time donors each day throughout the rest of this month.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation this month, we would like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by offering you a copy of a CD of a message we featured earlier this week\u2014a message on what husbands wished wives knew about men.\u00a0 We would love to send that CD to you as a thank-you gift for your donation, whether you are making a first-time donation or whether you have given to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> before.\u00a0 Just type the word \u201cHUSBAND\u201d in the key code box that you find on the online donation form.\u00a0 We will send that CD out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are making your first-time donation and you can make a donation of $100 or more, we will send you a certificate so you and your spouse can attend an upcoming Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage conference or you can pass the certificate along to somebody you know if you would like.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it is our way of saying, \u201cThanks for listening, and thanks for calling in and being one of the 2,500 this month who sign on.\u201d\u00a0 We trust that the Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage conference will be a great getaway for you and your spouse or for someone else you know.\u00a0 Go to our website FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says \u201cFirst-time Donor\u201d or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and you can make your donation over the phone.\u00a0 Just mention that you are a first-time donor, one of the 2,500; and let me say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance for whatever you are able to do in support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we are going to talk about some of the common challenges couples face in the marriage relationship around the issue of marital intimacy. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dan Allender:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Bottom line:\u00a0 God\u2019s intention is for a marriage to reveal a picture of the kind of worship God intends for us to enjoy with him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Dr. Dan Allender will join us Monday.\u00a0 Hope you can be back with us as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey; I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302090","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302090"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302090"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302090"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302090"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302090"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302090"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302090"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}