{"id":302089,"date":"2010-08-12T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-08-12T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/abandonment\/"},"modified":"2010-08-12T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-08-12T15:00:00","slug":"abandonment","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/abandonment\/","title":{"rendered":"Abandonment"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>He was one of the last &#8220;lifers&#8221; raised in an American orphanage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-08-12.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.26M","filesize_raw":"26489058","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[5155],"podcast_series":[7747],"cwp_profile":[9209],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302089","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-inspiration","podcast_series-castaway-kid","cwp_profile-rob-mitchell","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302089\/abandonment","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302089\/abandonment","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"LHUN1qNMxS\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/abandonment\/\">Abandonment<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/abandonment\/embed\/#?secret=LHUN1qNMxS\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Abandonment&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"LHUN1qNMxS\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"He was one of the last \"lifers\" raised in an American orphanage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-08-12.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Most children take it for granted the fact that they\u2019re growing up in a home with at least a mother or a father if not both. Rob Mitchell took that for granted.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was seven years old in second grade the night I lost hope. I remember clearly it was a bitter Illinois winter and I had to face the reality that night that my mother wasn\u2019t normal.\u00a0 The doctors were not going to fix her.\u00a0 My father was never going to come back.\u00a0 No one was going to rescue me.\u00a0 When hope dies it\u2019s a terrible horrible sound.\u00a0 When I finished crying I made a vow, no one is getting my heart again.\u00a0 I will be tough no matter what. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday August 12<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I am Bob Lepine. Today Rob Mitchell joins us to tell us about growing up in an orphanage as a castaway kid. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today. <\/em>Thanks for joining us. Don\u2019t you think that if you grew up in a stable intact home you tend to take for granted what the benefit of that was to you growing up? You just tend to assume.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No doubt about it. You don\u2019t even know what others are missing. You may not have it all but you had enough pieces of the puzzle for the most part the picture emerges but for those who grew up in maybe a broken home or one where a father or mother were absent or taken from you by death. That can result in some people feeling the loss of some of the elements that an intact marriage and family supply for a child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 The story we are going to hear this week is one of those stories that gives us a picture of what happens when that foundation is not in place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is right. I heard our guest Rob Mitchell a little over a year ago at the Orphan Care Summit V.\u00a0 Rob shared his story that\u2019s found in the book <em>Castaway Kid<\/em> with about 750 folks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRob, I want to first of all welcome you to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> but also I want to tell you I sat listening to your story and I thought \u201cWow!\u00a0 What a call for a little boy at the age of three to have to endure and go through.\u201d It wasn\u2019t the way life was designed by God to be experienced.\u00a0 It really wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 First of all welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I am glad you\u2019re here. Take us back to when you were three years old and those first emotions that you felt around some of the most unbelievable circumstances that a three year old could possibly experience.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Rob: <\/strong>\u00a0You know three year olds aren\u2019t suppose to remember much but I\u2019ve learned that kids in crisis, we either block it out, we never remember or we never forget. My father abandoned my mother and I in Chicago.\u00a0 Put a gun to his head, pulled the trigger, and blew out part of his brains.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA man with a master\u2019s degree from prestige\u2019s Northwestern University lived the next 26 years in a mental hospital. He could walk but he couldn\u2019t talk. He could put food in his mouth but because of the bullet damage not always chew and swallow and put his pants on but not remember where and when to go to the bathroom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now did you witness him shooting himself?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I don\u2019t have clear memory of that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>As a three year old you knew that something terrible had happened in your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Something was wrong...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>In his own background did he grow up in a home where there was a great deal of instability?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong><strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He grew up in a wealthy section of Atlanta in Buckhead. The family belonged to country clubs.\u00a0 He lived a privileged childhood. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So, what happened to him? Do you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That caused this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A lot of it was the stress of a very dysfunctional marriage.\u00a0 My mother had enormous emotional and psychological problems that she had masked.\u00a0 As you know in marriage those masks come down and three months after my father\u2019s failed suicide attempt she drug me by train to Chicago, Illinois to Princeton, Illinois and abandoned me at an orphanage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So at three years old you wind up at the front door at an orphanage and your mom says here is my son.\u00a0 What do you remember from that event?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually, I remember that day clearly. There were piles of snow on the ground.\u00a0 My mother\u2019s dragging me faster than my three year old legs can walk. I am whimpering.\u00a0 I am scared.\u00a0 Something\u2019s wrong.\u00a0 My mother\u2019s yelling \u201cShut up, Robby.\u00a0 Shut up!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe drags me up this big building and commands me to play with another boy with blocks.\u00a0 I reach for a block and he steals it.\u00a0 I reach for a block and he steals it.\u00a0 I turn to my mother for help and she\u2019s gone.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA woman whose name and face I don\u2019t remember says \u201cYour mother\u2019s sick Robby. She is taking a train back to Chicago.\u00a0 She will come get you when she\u2019s well.\u201d\u00a0 She didn\u2019t say goodbye.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t say I love you.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t say I need some time to get my act together.\u00a0 She just disappeared.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe rest of that day I remember is just rising up with three year old clumsiness and just screaming, \u201cNo! No!\u201d\u00a0 I ran to the nearest door but I\u2019m too short and I don\u2019t know where it goes anyway.\u00a0 This strange woman says \u201cQuit crying or I\u2019ll spank you.\u201d\u00a0 I can\u2019t quit crying. My mother has abandoned me. She picks me up and spanks me over and over and over again until the pain of being spanked is worse than the pain of being abandoned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat night I wet the bed and she spanks me again. As punishment puts two brown rubber sheets on the bed and makes me lie between them all day long. I remember them being hot and they squeaked when I moved. I remember the voices of a strange little boy and strange boys at the place I was abandoned laughing at me because I was a peepy baby.\u00a0 Then my memories go blank for awhile.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0I want to go back here for a moment because today for the most part we don\u2019t have a lot of orphanages. This was how many years ago?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>This was 1958.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Across the nation the Christian community had provided a great number of orphanages to care for what really has become the foster care system, I suppose.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u00a0Yes. The number of whether they are called orphanages or children\u2019s homes or residential care units had plummeted greatly.\u00a0 For reasons I can\u2019t explain and I\u2019m not being bitter on it the Church seemed to have walked away from this kind of ministry starting in the 80s and 90s. I don\u2019t know if they were abdicating to the Department of Social Services but the numbers of units according to Focus on the Family are half of what they were 40 years ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0 There was a woman in your life who was safe.\u00a0 Her name was Gigi.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u00a0Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What did she do to communicate love to you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I was my mother\u2019s only child and my mother was Gigi\u2019s only child. Gigi was a very poor woman in Chicago.\u00a0 She worked in the great Marshall Field\u2019s department store down on State Street. She had a two room apartment in Chicago not a two bedroom, a two room. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPeople like my mother play weird power games that nobody can understand from the outside so she did not even tell her mother where I was.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how long it took Gigi to find me but Gigi would take the train and come down once a week to see me for years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe whole thing was almost a 14 hour process.\u00a0 Gigi saw herself as to old and poor to raise me. The honest truth is she was afraid of my mother as well.\u00a0 If Gigi had me my mother would have hammered her when she was on the streets.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t realize that till much later in life.\u00a0 What Gigi did give me was some consistency of love.\u00a0 What I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt is that Gigi prayed for me zealously.\u00a0 I thought it was the exercise of a foolish woman for many years but I knew she prayed for me zealously.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She would come to visit you and then get back on the train and go back to Chicago.\u00a0 That would seem almost like a weekly dawning of hope followed by a weekly crash of disappointment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was.\u00a0 It was like a weekly abandonment.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t see herself as strong enough to deal with me but I have clear memories of crying over and over again and saying \u201cPlease take me with you.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be a good boy!\u00a0 I won\u2019t eat much.\u00a0 Just don\u2019t leave me here!\u201d\u00a0 At least I had somebody who loved me but it was very, very hard to frame as a kid.\u00a0 \u201cIf you love me why are you leaving me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What was your routine like living in an orphanage from the time you were three?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There are two adjectives that describe growing up in an orphanage: very regimented and desperately lonely.\u00a0 The bell rang at seven but before the bell rang a wonderful dorm mother named Nola came into our lives and she would get up every morning and go to the closet and lay out the clothes for the boys she had.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is a photograph in my book <em>Castaway Kid<\/em> of twelve little boys.\u00a0 I am the four year old on the left and if readers will notice I have rolled up pant legs and suspenders as do half the boys because every day we wore somebody else\u2019s clothes. Kids like us are abandoned with nothing but the clothes on our back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a level of poverty that still exists in America. Most of the children\u2019s homes I visit and talk to the kids have what they call the locker room.\u00a0 The bell would ring at seven.\u00a0 There were 10 to 16 little boys\u2019 age three to ten on any given day stampede to the bathroom, two toilets, it wasn\u2019t pretty. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u00a0Clamor in the locker room, get dressed.\u00a0 I remember Nola telling me once that she would have eight, nine, ten year old boys so traumatized they did not know to tie their shoes.\u00a0 We would line up like a ragtag army, punching and shoving.\u00a0 Breakfast at 7:30 a.m.; lunch is noon; cookies and juice after school; Supper is 5:30 then they lock the kitchen.\u00a0 So if you\u2019re hungry at 8 o\u2019clock at night, tough!\u00a0 Drink tap water. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, did you go off to school?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 We went to public schools.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Then back to the orphanage when it was done?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What was it like being a public school kid when everybody knows you live in the orphanage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s one of the struggles and there are bullies everywhere in the world. On every school ground in the world and bullies want to put you down in order to lift themselves up.\u00a0 Kids like us are easy targets. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy first early memory of being singled out actually was from the teachers. You would walk into a room; they would look for your folder and say \u201cWho are you?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 I am Robby Mitchell.\u00a0 They pick the folder up and look inside and say \u201cOh!\u201d\u00a0 Kids like us hate \u201cOh!\u201d because it says all the things we don\u2019t want to hear.\u00a0 \u201cOh, you\u2019re one of them.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got in lots of fights and we all had our own \u201chot buttons\u201d.\u00a0 My hot button was \u201cwhat\u2019s wrong with you Robby?\u00a0 You must be so bad even your parents don\u2019t want you!\u201d\u00a0 Then you see red and the fights on and you end up in the principal\u2019s office.\u00a0 Who always said the same stupid thing \u201cWhat were you thinking?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe honest truth especially for boys because we just get angrier and angrier as we age in the system is when someone punches our button we truly check out.\u00a0 We really often don\u2019t remember what happened.\u00a0 I am not saying that\u2019s right but its real.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Did you hear from your mom during these years when you were growing up in the orphanage?\u00a0 I mean any letters?\u00a0 Any form of communication?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong> When my mother appeared it was chaos.\u00a0 My first memory of her was about three years after she abandoned me.\u00a0 I am on the play ground and someone hollers and says \u201cRobby your mommy\u2019s here.\u201d\u00a0 I go running up and I am so excited because kids like us always want to go home.\u00a0 We think somehow if we can get home our lives will be better.\u00a0 You know, over and over again when I talk to kids in foster care, I say are you safer where you are or whatever you call home?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0They all say \u201cHere, I am safer here.\u201d\u00a0 I am persuaded that kids will take poverty if they are loved, rags if they are wanted and homelessness if they can belong.\u00a0 We want to go home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I race up and my very first memory of hugging her leg was how bad she smelled because alcoholics and substance abusers smell bad.\u00a0 She is talking crazy out of her mind, yelling and cussing at Nola.\u00a0 Nola was a good person and she didn\u2019t deserve this, my dorm mother.\u00a0 I remember thinking\u201d Quit screaming mom and let\u2019s just take the train and let\u2019s go home!\u00a0 I want to go home!\u201d She looked down at me and says\u201d I got to go.\u201d\u00a0 She didn\u2019t say I love you.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t say I miss you.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t say I\u2019m sorry I haven\u2019t been here for three years.\u00a0 \u201cI got to go.\u201d And she just walked away.\u00a0 She did that over and over again.\u00a0 Show up, unannounced, chaos.\u00a0 \u201cI got to go.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 I am picturing that little boy at that point, slowly hope was dying\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Exactly! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026that you were going to go home.\u00a0 That you would ever have the family that you had lost.\u00a0 Did you ever have the hope that you would be adopted by another family? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That gets complicated as all of our stories do.\u00a0 My mother had legal custody of me until she kidnapped me in third grade.\u00a0 We hid like cockroaches in the streets of Chicago until the police finally found us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow those in the social welfare system hate the phrase I am about to use but it\u2019s how kids like us view it.\u00a0 Somebody owns you as a kid.\u00a0 Biological parents are your legal guardians but once they lose that somebody else has to own that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the strange parts of\u00a0 my story is that when my mother lost legal custody of me, one of my wealthy family members on the Mitchell family side in Atlanta took legal custody of me but they wouldn\u2019t let me be adopted.\u00a0 So, I fell through a crack and ended up living at that orphanage for 14 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 From age three to age\u2026?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Seventeen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong><strong>\u2026<\/strong>Group home? Same boys the whole time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, kids like us come and go daily.\u00a0 Usually showing up like I did with nothing but the clothes on our back.\u00a0 Publisher at Focus on the Family material said\u201d He grew up with other friends in the orphanage\u201d I edited it and said \u201cNo, we were not friends we were co-sojourners. There is a difference.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKids came and went so fast you had to be there a week or two before we bothered learning your name.\u00a0 One of the things we never did was ask the other boy his story because then we might have to tell ours. We not only didn\u2019t want to talk about it as little kids it was very hard to even frame it and process it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, usually the only way you learned someone else\u2019s story was when they erupted in rage and some of it came out.\u00a0 You know, like \u201cMy dad promised he would take me home at Christmas!\u201d\u00a0 Then he would blow up and punch holes in the wall or something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did you have any stable relationships over that 13 to 14 year period?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The one most important was a wonderful dorm mother named Nola.\u00a0 Her photograph is in our book.\u00a0 Nola was a single gal in Bible College in Northern Minnesota when she felt called to take care of kids like us.\u00a0 Nola was quick to laugh; quick to hug and quick to spank and I got all three.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She was no nonsense.\u00a0 One of the things I remember, back to the routine, was that every night she would get us into our pajamas and bring us back to our one living room and that was bible story time.\u00a0 Nola was very serious about Bible story time and she did not tolerate goofing off.\u00a0 She would put the littlest boys on the couch next to her, the bigger little boys on the floor.\u00a0 I have very, very vivid memories of her holding a Bible story book in one hand a smacking a missed behaving boy with the other.\u00a0 We saw no theological conflict with that what so ever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Then she would take us to bed one by one, littlest ones first.\u00a0 No matter how much chaos was going on she would always end her prayer by saying \u201cRemember Robby, God loves you and I love you.\u201d\u00a0 It was pretty easy to believe Nola loved me but if her God loved me, how come my childhood is such a mess?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That was one of the things I wanted to ask you about.\u00a0 For 14 years you\u2019re growing up in a home like this and a human being finds ways to protect.\u00a0 Since, you don\u2019t have someone protecting you, namely a father and a mother looking out for your best interest.\u00a0 You had to protect yourself.\u00a0 What was your method or mechanisms of how you protected who you were as a little boy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I was seven years old in second grade the night I lost hope.\u00a0 I remember clearly it was a bitter Illinois winter and we had steam radiators and they blasted you out because they got too hot.\u00a0 They clanked because it was too cold.\u00a0 I had to face reality that night that my mother wasn\u2019t normal.\u00a0 The doctors were not going to fix her.\u00a0 My father was never going to come back.\u00a0 Gigi for whatever reason I never understood it at that time wasn\u2019t going to raise me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo one was going to rescue me.\u00a0 I cried out.\u00a0 When hope dies I have heard and I don\u2019t know how many of the little boys lose hope it\u2019s a terrible horrible sound.\u00a0 You truly cry out with a groaning that are too deep for words. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNola came and held me but then had to deal with another kid.\u00a0 When I was finished crying I made a vow that kids like us make all over the world.\u00a0 In my case it was, I knew the big boys would beat me, they had beaten me, they\u2019re going to beat me and they were going to beat me. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI might cry out in physical pain but no one is getting into my heart again.\u00a0 I will be tough no matter what.\u00a0 What kids like us do is it\u2019s the beginning of emotionally flat lining.\u00a0 Where we just don\u2019t care and that\u2019s the beginning of a dangerous creature.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You just harden your heart and don\u2019t let anybody in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\u00a0 You don\u2019t trust.\u00a0 You don\u2019t hope.\u00a0 You don\u2019t love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did you become that dangerous creature?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I fought it but yes, over time. The longer you go through the system.\u00a0 I tried to blow my anger through sports but you keep growing up and you keep getting older and you keep getting tagged.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor example: There were good people in Princeton, there were, so don\u2019t misunderstand that.\u00a0 There were also people who said my daughter is not dating a boy from that home.\u00a0 It was virtually impossible for us to date a good girl. They just said it out loud \u201cNo, you not dating him!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the time I got to be a junior in high school my anger had blown me out of sports.\u00a0 I was drinking heavy, doing a lot of Marijuana. I didn\u2019t do anything heavier because I would have gotten kicked out to Juvenile Hall or someplace worse.\u00a0 Kids like us do drugs.\u00a0 We drink.\u00a0 We do inappropriate sex and we cut ourselves to either feel something or to dull the pain.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know Rob I am listening to your story and all of a sudden just listening to the cold harsh reality of a three year old boy.\u00a0 I want to use the word incarcerated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s how we felt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>For 14 years in an orphanage, even though that\u2019s not what an orphanage is really doing. It really is trying to provide love and boundaries.\u00a0 I read James 1:27 and the drama in your life bring this passage to life.\u00a0 This is pure and undefiled religion in sight of our God and Father to visit orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s a command, command of scripture.\u00a0 To go near the plight of the orphan, it\u2019s not going to be squeaky clean.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to messy.\u00a0 It\u2019s not going to be under control.\u00a0 It\u2019s not going to be predictable but orphans need to be loved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I think most of our listeners know about our commitment through our Hope for Orphans Outreach to equip and encourage individuals and churches to be a part of that messiness, to engage in reaching out to and caring for the needs of orphans. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you go to our website FamilyLifeToday.com there is a link there to our Hope for Orphans area of the website.\u00a0 Where you can find out more about what you can do individually, what you can do as a church.\u00a0 How you can be catalytic in your local church to help start an orphan\u2019s ministry there.\u00a0 We really want to be part of the solution and see God mobilize and raise up tens of thousands of churches all around the country who care for the needs of orphans. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, our website FamilyLifeToday.com, the information you need about how you can be involved is there when you click the link for the hope for Orphans area of the website.\u00a0 We\u2019ve also got copies of Rob Mitchell\u2019s book which is called <em>Castaway Kid<\/em>. You can order that from us online if you would like or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY to request a copy of <em>Castaway Kid<\/em>. Again, the website FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me take just a minute, we featured a message earlier this week here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> called <em>What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Men<\/em>. We got a great response to that message.\u00a0 The CD is available.\u00a0 In fact we are making it available this week to those of you who can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife<\/em> <em>Today <\/em>with a donation of any amount. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are listener supported and we depend on friends like you helping us support the ministry.\u00a0 So, if you make a donation this month of any amount be sure to type in the word \u201cHUSBAND\u201d in the key code box you find on the online donation form and we will send you a copy of that CD as our thank you gift.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In fact, this month you may have heard us mention we are hoping to have 2500 of you who listen regularly to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> but have never made a donation.\u00a0 We are hoping that this month you will step up and make your first donation to help support the ministry.\u00a0 We are keeping track on how that is going and you can online to FamilyLifeToday.com to see how we are doing in terms to reaching that goal.\u00a0 Again if you make a donation of any amount this month we want you to feel free to request a copy of the CD <em>What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Men<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are making a first time gift to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and you\u2019ve never made a donation before and you can make a donation of a $100 or more this month we want to send you as a thank a certificate so that you and your spouse can attend a Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage conference or you could take the certificate and pass it along to another couple you know.\u00a0 Maybe, it\u2019s a daughter and son in-law or a son and daughter in-law that you would like to pass it on to. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can make a $100 donation or more and you are a first time donor we would be happy to send you that certificate so you can attend the Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage conference. Again when you go to our website at FamilyLifeToday.com you will see button that says first time donor, click that button and make your donation and you will get that certificate out to you. Let me say thanks for your support.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0We are glad to have you as part of the family. We hope you enjoy the Weekend to Remember\u00ae and we hope you continue to listening to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. Of course we hope you will be back with us tomorrow when Rob Mitchell\u2019s going to be here again. We will hear the rest of the story how the orphan got adopted. That comes up tomorrow. I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0On behalf of our host Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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