{"id":302079,"date":"2010-07-22T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-07-22T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/a-love-restored-alberto-and-debbie-rodriguez-part-1\/"},"modified":"2010-07-22T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-07-22T15:00:00","slug":"a-love-restored-alberto-and-debbie-rodriguez-part-1","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-love-restored-alberto-and-debbie-rodriguez-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"A Love Restored:  Alberto and Debbie Rodriguez, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Postponing their family seemed like a good idea when her husband was in med school.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-07-22.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"21.51M","filesize_raw":"22558588","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2883],"tags":[4927,4086,4926,2877],"podcast_series":[7743],"cwp_profile":[9207],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302079","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-resurrected-marriages","tag-challenges","tag-commitment","tag-faithfulness","tag-marriage","podcast_series-a-love-restored-alberto-and-debbie-rodriguez","cwp_profile-alberto-and-debbie-rodriguez","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302079\/a-love-restored-alberto-and-debbie-rodriguez-part-1","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302079\/a-love-restored-alberto-and-debbie-rodriguez-part-1","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"qe1jlmckJF\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-love-restored-alberto-and-debbie-rodriguez-part-1\/\">A Love Restored:  Alberto and Debbie Rodriguez, Part 1<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-love-restored-alberto-and-debbie-rodriguez-part-1\/embed\/#?secret=qe1jlmckJF\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;A Love Restored:  Alberto and Debbie Rodriguez, Part 1&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"qe1jlmckJF\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-07-22.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-07-22.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alberto and Debbie Rodriguez had been married for 10 years \u2013 a marriage that was slowly decaying.\u00a0 But one of them wasn't aware of the decay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She came to me one weekend on a Saturday and said, \"I'm leaving you, and I'm taking the baby with me.\"\u00a0 I couldn't comprehend\u2013\u201cwhat are you talking about?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I remember Alberto saying, \"What have I done that you want to leave me?\u00a0 What have I done?\"\u00a0 He hadn't done anything.\u00a0 It was just there was nothing left.\u00a0 I remember that Saturday morning at our kitchen table it's just the pain had just gotten so great that I thought, \"I have to escape this.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, July 22<sup>nd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Alberto and Debbie Rodriguez share their story of a marriage that was crumbling on today\u2019s program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear a compelling story today from Alberto and Debbie Rodriguez who experienced a real revolution, a transformation in their marriage at one of our FamilyLife Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Getaways a number of years ago and that gives me an opportunity here at the beginning of today\u2019s program to remind our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners that the Fall conference schedule is now set.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and find out when we are hosting one of our Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Getaways in a city near where you live, either this fall or in the spring of 2011.\u00a0 If you make plans either this week or next week, if you go ahead and register for one of these upcoming events, and lock it in, and just plan to be there.\u00a0 If you sign up as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, and the way you do that is by joining my group.\u00a0 Just put \u201cBOB\u201d in the group name box, you\u2019ll get a special group rate for being a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener\u2014that\u2019s the buy-one-get-one-free rate that we\u2019re offering to our listeners.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn addition to that, if you sign up this week or next week, we\u2019re going to send you a thank you gift.\u00a0 I asked the team to see if there\u2019s some way we can say thanks for signing up early, so they\u2019re going to send you a thank you gift.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure exactly what it is, but something nice just to say thanks for signing on early.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, find out more about when the conference is going to be in a city near where you live, or call 1-800 FL-TODAY and we\u2019ll answer any questions you have.\u00a0 We can get you signed up over the phone, or get you signed up online.\u00a0 Just mention that you\u2019re in my group, in the \u201cBob group\u201d so you can take advantage of the special group rate for listeners, and so that you can get the thank you gift that we\u2019re going to send out to you.\u00a0 As you\u2019ll hear today, these weekend getaways for couples can begin a process in a couple\u2019s life that can be transformative.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel like I need to start things off today by saying, \u201cBienvenidos y Vida Familia Hoy\u201d\u00a0 Did I do okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, our listeners do not speak Spanish.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I don't either, as was obvious by the way I just butchered the language right there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But our guests today on the broadcast do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They do\u2013what I said, obviously, \u201cWas welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Say it again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Y bienvenidos Familia Vida Hoy \u2013 how was that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'll have to ask Alberto.\u00a0 Debbie is shaking her head no.\u00a0 This is a great moment in <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> \u2013 Bob has missed it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What did I say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You said it backwards.\u00a0 You said, \"Life Family Today.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, did I?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Spanish is backwards from English.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Welcome to Life Family Today.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 We are going to meet a delightful couple today and hear a little of their story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We are.\u00a0 Alberto and Debbie Rodriguez join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and I can say it right in English.\u00a0 Alberto and Debbie are the proud parents of four children.\u00a0 They just recently adopted.\u00a0 Maybe we'll get a chance to hear a little bit about that story a bit later on.\u00a0 Alberto is a physician.\u00a0 Debbie is homemaker.\u00a0 Together the Rodriguez\u2019s head up FamilyLife's United States Hispanic ministry.\u00a0 Share with our listeners what that's all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 Vida Familiar Latina.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, you did that very nicely\u2013better than I could have ever done it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>In 1999, FamilyLife decided to have an outreach for the growing Hispanic population here in the United States, and we were interested in that, of course, and had been attending FamilyLife conferences for 10, 15 years before, and we were always asking, \"Do we have this material in Spanish?\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey continually said, \"No, would you like it to be in Spanish?\u00a0 Well, you can start it.\"\u00a0 So we decided we need this in Spanish.\u00a0 Our marriage was changed forever, thanks to FamilyLife, and we wanted to let others have the same opportunity that we had.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You mentioned that all of this goes back a number of years for you to regular attendance at a Weekend to Remember\u00ae conference.\u00a0 Give us a little of that story.\u00a0 First of all, how did you meet?\u00a0 The two of you met in Puerto Rico, is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes, that's a story.\u00a0 I remember, as a new college student, we have these summer missionary-type activities in our church.\u00a0 I decided I've never been to a psychiatric hospital, and I decided we'll form a group and go there and pray with the people there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2026so that means we actually met in a psychiatric hospital.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You could say that.\u00a0 We met there.\u00a0 I saw Debbie, and I wasn't sure if she was a patient or not, but I liked her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The two of you were ministering together, side-by-side, over the course of that summer, and the friendship just blossomed.\u00a0 But you were in different colleges, right, so you had a long-distance courtship throughout your college years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>For four years we just pretty much saw each other on the weekends, because I would travel back home over the weekend, and he was in the San Juan area in Puerto Rico, so that's where we saw each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And then you went to med school\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What moved you to ultimately ask her to marry you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was madly in love with her.\u00a0 She was my best friend, my only friend.\u00a0 After meeting her, meeting her family, we decided we wanted to get married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They actually told you, that you had to wait, didn't they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, my dad said it very clearly.\u00a0 The part that you don't know is that when I entered college, I was 15.\u00a0 So when I met Alberto that first year, he made it very clear\u2014until you get me a diploma here, there is no marriage, you know that.\u00a0 This was a very wise thing, because otherwise I would have not\u2014somebody had to work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You had an extended courtship then, and that can be a challenge for any couple.\u00a0 When you finally did marry, I guess\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, no, we have to find out, I want to hear how he popped the question to you, Debbie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was one weekend I came home from college and, as usual, he came to my Mom's house to visit, and he took me out for pizza, and then after that we went driving around.\u00a0 Actually, it was in the neighborhood.\u00a0 Do you remember where that was?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And it was night, and he parked the car right in the middle of an intersection.\u00a0 There was a lot of traffic coming, and he just parked there, and said, \"Would you marry me?\" and gave me a ring.\u00a0 And, of course, I started screaming\u2014that's when I got home my dad said, \"You graduate first, and then you get married.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Not too romantic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, it was intersection.\u00a0 That's romantic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Why did you ask her in the middle of an intersection to marry you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I don't know.\u00a0 I was very nervous.\u00a0 I didn't know what to do.\u00a0 I was looking for a spot, and I couldn't take it anymore, so I just parked.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie: <\/strong>\u00a0Stopped the car.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Stopped the car.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie: <\/strong>\u00a0He\u2019s spontaneous.\u00a0 He\u2019s very spontaneous. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And so you were married as you finished med school, moved into your residency, and did you feel the stresses and strains of med school immediately upon your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It was hard.\u00a0 Before, we would see each other only on weekends, and I had the week to myself to study, and it was fine.\u00a0 But now I had somebody else at home that I needed to interact with.\u00a0 So I was always feeling the stress.\u00a0 \"I have to study, but I have Debbie, and what do I do?\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You were probably feeling like a new bride who was not getting as much attention from her husband as his professors were getting from him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, right away I remember feeling many times that medicine was taking first place.\u00a0 Now, the thing was, I always thought, \"Oh, this is temporary,\" because you're a new bride, and being raised in a Christian home, you are supposed to just be victory in Jesus.\u00a0 I just thought, \"This is just temporary.\u00a0 It will get better, it will be better, it will be better, it will be better.\"\u00a0 I just kept saying that to myself, and didn't actually say much to Alberto, because I thought he had plenty of pressure coming from the outside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But you were feeling pretty lonely all the way through that period?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes, and especially when we finished medical school, Alberto actually came to the States for residency.\u00a0 So not only was I feeling alone because he was at the hospital all of the time, but my family wasn't there, either.\u00a0 So here I was in a different country with a different language with no extended family, no friends, no church.\u00a0 It was pretty lonely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's important to point out that as you started out your marriage, you are not unlike the way a lot of \"Christian\" couples start their relationship.\u00a0 They think because they met at church or they had church in common, had a similar walk with Christ that, \"Hey, we'll be okay.\u00a0 We'll be able to merge two selfish people into this relationship.\"\u00a0 Well, what happens is called reality, and reality can result in loneliness and despair and hurt and further isolation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, at our Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Conference you get a plan to really help you counteract the isolation that creeps in to every marriage.\u00a0 Debbie, you described the slow death of your marriage as a trickle\u2014that, trickle-by-trickle, your marriage was dying.\u00a0 How did you know that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, as the years continued, and I tried to think that this was a temporary thing, I think the reality of, \"No, this is not going away,\" started setting in.\u00a0 It wasn't from one day to the other, but it was like a little drop that was falling away from my life every day and, more and more, Alberto and I were becoming strangers.\u00a0 We were living under the same roof, but total strangers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dr. Rodriguez, were you aware of what was going on in your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, you never think that this can happen.\u00a0 We love each other.\u00a0 It wasn't like I didn't love her or she didn't love me.\u00a0 We wanted the best for each other and for our marriage, but it was just every day we were separating, kind of each one on their own paths and not communicating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But did you have a sense of the same thing?\u00a0 Did you think, \"Gee, I miss Debbie.\u00a0 I'm not getting time with her.\u00a0 I'm lonely\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really, I was so busy.\u00a0 The years that followed my medical school were internship and residency.\u00a0 I was so busy in the hospital that I couldn't think about any of this.\u00a0 What I was feeling or not feeling.\u00a0 You detach from your feelings and take care of people that are really sick.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don't know what the statistics are, but I know anecdotally that anyone I talk to who has been through medical school tells me of the toll that takes on marriages.\u00a0 In fact, you all were saying that in your class there were not a lot of marriages that survived medical school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, I don't think that from our whole class that graduated with us from medical school that there were more than five couples whose marriages are still intact.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Out of how many?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, wow\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 100\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 100 and some\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, really?\u00a0 Like 95 failed?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of couples who have experienced the kind of isolation that you have been describing think, \"If we have a baby that will pull us back together.\"\u00a0 Did you have that thought?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, actually, for 10 years we had been waiting to start a family, because I was working full time, and my dream was when we'd have a baby I want to be home.\u00a0 We had a lot of debt, like you were saying, Dennis, and we just had a lot of strain.\u00a0 We wanted to make it right.\u00a0 The time came when we thought, \"Well, maybe now is the time,\" and that was the time that there was also a transition in Alberto's career from academia into opening a private practice, and that's when I got pregnant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen the thing with us was in that period of 18 months, I became pregnant.\u00a0 We opened a practice.\u00a0 I had an accident that put me in a wheelchair and crutches for four months.\u00a0 We had tremendous financial stresses with medical school debt and also the opening of the new practice, and just our life seemed to\u2014at that point, there was not much communication, and that's when it just\u2014it all collapsed all at the same time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When your wife came and told you, \"Alberto, we're going to have a baby,\" did you say, \"Oh, that's great, honey.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I really did.\u00a0 That was my dream.\u00a0 I love children and, like a good man, I can only think one thing\u2013focus on one thing at a time, so I forgot all my debts, all the practice, every problem, and I say, \"A child?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But your practical wife was thinking, \"No, sweetheart, you don't understand.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He actually said, \"This is great.\"\u00a0 And I said, \"You're kidding me, right?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, the reason he said it was great was because he was oblivious to the misery and the pain you were feeling in your marriage.\u00a0 He had no idea you were not happy in this marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I wasn\u2019t helping, Dennis, because I was from the school of thought and taught that a good Christian wife is supposed to stuff it, and so I was stuffing it.\u00a0 I just thought a good Christian wife is supposed to stuff her feelings, and being transparent with my husband about what I was feeling was not an option for me.\u00a0 So all this time, Alberto pretty much thought that things were going okay when, in reality, our marriage was dying little by little, and he had no idea it was happening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was a good provider.\u00a0 I love her.\u00a0 I tended to her when I was home.\u00a0 I love her family. We worked hard in our church.\u00a0 Everything was going very well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about the possibility of divorce?\u00a0 Today couples move to this as an easy solution when the misery and the pain are too great.\u00a0 Did that cross your mind?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 At the time that I actually told Alberto I was leaving, yes, it did.\u00a0 But the thing is, Dennis, you don't think\u2014divorce is a big word that is a bad word.\u00a0 You don't get to that point thinking that you're going to get to that point.\u00a0 You think of divorce as no, I'll never be divorced, but you move towards divorce without knowing that's exactly what you're doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you separated from him at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We were still living under the same roof, but we had separated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She came to me one weekend on a Saturday and said, \"I'm leaving you, and I'm taking the baby with me.\"\u00a0 I couldn't comprehend.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you talking about?\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 I didn't do anything bad.\u00a0 Can we talk about this?\u00a0 Can we do something?\u00a0 Can we fix it?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember Alberto saying, \"What have I done that you want to leave me?\u00a0 What have I done?\"\u00a0 And he hadn't done anything.\u00a0 It was just that there was nothing left.\u00a0 I remember that Saturday morning at our kitchen table.\u00a0 The pain had just gotten so great that I thought, \"I have to escape this.\"\u00a0 Now, again, I didn't say, \"I'm going to divorce you.\"\u00a0 I just wanted to escape the pain, so I said, \"I'm leaving you,\" but it's the same thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Usually in a situation like this, a woman has fired flares into the air\u2014a warning flare, a warning shot.\u00a0 Are you saying you didn't fire those flares?\u00a0 Are you saying that Alberto was so clueless he didn't even see the flash of the flare as it was fired?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 He was clueless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She fired.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did you fire flares over the air?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think once in a while I would just throw a fit.\u00a0 I would just explode and throw a fit, and then he would take me out to dinner, and things would be right back okay when we never dealt with the issues.\u00a0 We never dealt with what is it that's isolating us this way?\u00a0 What can we do?\u00a0 Can we be proactive on this?\u00a0 We never did that.\u00a0 We just fixed it for the night that was it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, be honest, Alberto\u2013were you thinking, \"Okay, she's in one of her moods.\u00a0 I take her out to dinner, she'll get over the mood, and everything will be fine.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\"I've read about this in the medical books.\u00a0 This is a condition that's treatable.\"\u00a0 Is that how you thought about it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yeah, I thought, \"This is going to go away, and she's feeling bad, and we'll fix it.\"\u00a0 I'm feeling pretty good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And so after dinner she's nicer, she doesn't seem to be upset, you think that fixed it.\u00a0 The next time she has one of those moods, I'll take her to dinner again, and we'll fix it again, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think a lot of husbands\u2013they don't know\u2013is there a real issue here or is it just a bad day.\u00a0 Do I fix it with dinner or do we really have to get serious about what's going on in our relationship?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, and what Debbie did so well is really to clarify how she, as a woman, could be asking for a relationship and how a man can interpret that by hearing that there is a problem to be fixed that's like throwing a switch.\u00a0 I'll go throw a few dollars at a romantic evening out, say a few sweet words, and everything will be okay.\u00a0 But as Debbie just said, he wasn't addressing the core issue that most wives are desperate to have with their husbands, which is a relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat's what happens at the Weekend to Remember\u00ae.\u00a0 We give couples not only the practical instruction from the Scriptures at how to have a real relationship, but we also give them the time to talk.\u00a0 Now, that may sound funny, but in this day and age, to have a weekend to focus on just your marriage.\u00a0 Now, think about that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's like an island\u2013go to the island and focus on your marriage and give it a chance to grow.\u00a0 Most of us never see our marriages grow because we never invest more than an evening out in the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, we never get to the island because we don\u2019t make plans in advance to get there. You\u2019d think, \u201cOh, we ought to do that some day.\u201d\u00a0 Well, guess what, if you don\u2019t, if you\u2019re not intentional and deliberate, you won\u2019t get there.\u00a0 We just locked in the schedule for the Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Getaways for this Fall.\u00a0 They\u2019re going to be in cities all across the country.\u00a0 In fact, we\u2019ve got spring of 2011 all locked in as well.\u00a0 So, if folks want to, they can be intentional now, and sign up to attend one of these Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Getaways when it comes to a city near where they live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause they\u2019re <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners, we\u2019re going to let them sign up as a part of our group.\u00a0 Give them the group rate, which is the lowest rate we offer to anybody throughout the year.\u00a0 It\u2019s a buy-one-get-one-free offer so you sign up, you put my name in the group box, just type \u201cBOB\u201d in there when you\u2019re filling out the online registration form, just put \u201cBOB\u201d in the group box, and then you buy one registration, the second one comes at no cost.\u00a0 As I said, that\u2019s the best rate we offer to anybody.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve also asked the team if there\u2019s not some way that we could say thank you to those folks who listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and who sign up early.\u00a0 They said, okay, they\u2019ll send a special thank you gift to anybody who signs up as a part of my group, this week or next week.\u00a0 Again, go online and get the information you need about when one of these getaways is coming to a city near where you live.\u00a0 And, then go ahead and get signed up as a part of my group.\u00a0 Put \u201cBOB\u201d in the group box, and not only will you get the special group rate, but you\u2019ll also get the thank you gift that we\u2019re going to send out to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf it\u2019s easier to call, 1-800-FL-TODAY, is the number.\u00a0 1-800-358-6329, 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life then the word TODAY, we can answer any questions you have about the getaway, or we can get you signed up over the phone.\u00a0 We hope you\u2019ll come out and join us.\u00a0 These are great weekends for couples, and we want you to experience it and be a part of one of these either this fall or into next spring.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve been sitting here thinking about the fact that it may be that some of our listeners know couples who are in the situation that Alberto and Debbie were in, where it\u2019s a marriage that\u2019s gone stale and they\u2019re just throwing in the towel on it.\u00a0 They might want to get a copy of the CD of Alberto and Debbie\u2019s story to pass along to somebody who is in this situation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll send you a copy of the CD at no cost if you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and request it.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com, just request a copy of the CD that features this week\u2019s program with Alberto and Debbie and when you get the CD, listen to it again, or pass it along to somebody you know who would benefit from hearing their testimony.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, FamilyLifeToday.com, you can request the CD from us online, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, and we\u2019ll send it out to you.\u00a0 You can pass it along to somebody you know who would benefit from listening to their story.\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, tomorrow we\u2019re going to hear the rest of Alberto and Debbie\u2019s story.\u00a0 Hear about the turnaround that took place in their marriage.\u00a0 I hope you can be back with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["21.51M"],"filesize_raw":["22558588"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302079.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302079.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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their family seemed like a good idea when her husband was in med school.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-07-22.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alberto and Debbie Rodriguez had been married for 10 years \u2013 a marriage that was slowly decaying.\u00a0 But one of them wasn't aware of the decay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She came to me one weekend on a Saturday and said, \"I'm leaving you, and I'm taking the baby with me.\"\u00a0 I couldn't comprehend\u2013\u201cwhat are you talking about?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I remember Alberto saying, \"What have I done that you want to leave me?\u00a0 What have I done?\"\u00a0 He hadn't done anything.\u00a0 It was just there was nothing left.\u00a0 I remember that Saturday morning at our kitchen table it's just the pain had just gotten so great that I thought, \"I have to escape this.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, July 22<sup>nd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Alberto and Debbie Rodriguez share their story of a marriage that was crumbling on today\u2019s program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear a compelling story today from Alberto and Debbie Rodriguez who experienced a real revolution, a transformation in their marriage at one of our FamilyLife Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Getaways a number of years ago and that gives me an opportunity here at the beginning of today\u2019s program to remind our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners that the Fall conference schedule is now set.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and find out when we are hosting one of our Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Getaways in a city near where you live, either this fall or in the spring of 2011.\u00a0 If you make plans either this week or next week, if you go ahead and register for one of these upcoming events, and lock it in, and just plan to be there.\u00a0 If you sign up as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, and the way you do that is by joining my group.\u00a0 Just put \u201cBOB\u201d in the group name box, you\u2019ll get a special group rate for being a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener\u2014that\u2019s the buy-one-get-one-free rate that we\u2019re offering to our listeners.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn addition to that, if you sign up this week or next week, we\u2019re going to send you a thank you gift.\u00a0 I asked the team to see if there\u2019s some way we can say thanks for signing up early, so they\u2019re going to send you a thank you gift.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure exactly what it is, but something nice just to say thanks for signing on early.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, find out more about when the conference is going to be in a city near where you live, or call 1-800 FL-TODAY and we\u2019ll answer any questions you have.\u00a0 We can get you signed up over the phone, or get you signed up online.\u00a0 Just mention that you\u2019re in my group, in the \u201cBob group\u201d so you can take advantage of the special group rate for listeners, and so that you can get the thank you gift that we\u2019re going to send out to you.\u00a0 As you\u2019ll hear today, these weekend getaways for couples can begin a process in a couple\u2019s life that can be transformative.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel like I need to start things off today by saying, \u201cBienvenidos y Vida Familia Hoy\u201d\u00a0 Did I do okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, our listeners do not speak Spanish.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I don't either, as was obvious by the way I just butchered the language right there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But our guests today on the broadcast do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They do\u2013what I said, obviously, \u201cWas welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Say it again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Y bienvenidos Familia Vida Hoy \u2013 how was that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'll have to ask Alberto.\u00a0 Debbie is shaking her head no.\u00a0 This is a great moment in <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> \u2013 Bob has missed it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What did I say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You said it backwards.\u00a0 You said, \"Life Family Today.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, did I?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Spanish is backwards from English.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Welcome to Life Family Today.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 We are going to meet a delightful couple today and hear a little of their story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We are.\u00a0 Alberto and Debbie Rodriguez join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and I can say it right in English.\u00a0 Alberto and Debbie are the proud parents of four children.\u00a0 They just recently adopted.\u00a0 Maybe we'll get a chance to hear a little bit about that story a bit later on.\u00a0 Alberto is a physician.\u00a0 Debbie is homemaker.\u00a0 Together the Rodriguez\u2019s head up FamilyLife's United States Hispanic ministry.\u00a0 Share with our listeners what that's all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 Vida Familiar Latina.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, you did that very nicely\u2013better than I could have ever done it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>In 1999, FamilyLife decided to have an outreach for the growing Hispanic population here in the United States, and we were interested in that, of course, and had been attending FamilyLife conferences for 10, 15 years before, and we were always asking, \"Do we have this material in Spanish?\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey continually said, \"No, would you like it to be in Spanish?\u00a0 Well, you can start it.\"\u00a0 So we decided we need this in Spanish.\u00a0 Our marriage was changed forever, thanks to FamilyLife, and we wanted to let others have the same opportunity that we had.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You mentioned that all of this goes back a number of years for you to regular attendance at a Weekend to Remember\u00ae conference.\u00a0 Give us a little of that story.\u00a0 First of all, how did you meet?\u00a0 The two of you met in Puerto Rico, is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes, that's a story.\u00a0 I remember, as a new college student, we have these summer missionary-type activities in our church.\u00a0 I decided I've never been to a psychiatric hospital, and I decided we'll form a group and go there and pray with the people there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2026so that means we actually met in a psychiatric hospital.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You could say that.\u00a0 We met there.\u00a0 I saw Debbie, and I wasn't sure if she was a patient or not, but I liked her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The two of you were ministering together, side-by-side, over the course of that summer, and the friendship just blossomed.\u00a0 But you were in different colleges, right, so you had a long-distance courtship throughout your college years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>For four years we just pretty much saw each other on the weekends, because I would travel back home over the weekend, and he was in the San Juan area in Puerto Rico, so that's where we saw each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And then you went to med school\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What moved you to ultimately ask her to marry you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was madly in love with her.\u00a0 She was my best friend, my only friend.\u00a0 After meeting her, meeting her family, we decided we wanted to get married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They actually told you, that you had to wait, didn't they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, my dad said it very clearly.\u00a0 The part that you don't know is that when I entered college, I was 15.\u00a0 So when I met Alberto that first year, he made it very clear\u2014until you get me a diploma here, there is no marriage, you know that.\u00a0 This was a very wise thing, because otherwise I would have not\u2014somebody had to work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You had an extended courtship then, and that can be a challenge for any couple.\u00a0 When you finally did marry, I guess\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, no, we have to find out, I want to hear how he popped the question to you, Debbie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was one weekend I came home from college and, as usual, he came to my Mom's house to visit, and he took me out for pizza, and then after that we went driving around.\u00a0 Actually, it was in the neighborhood.\u00a0 Do you remember where that was?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And it was night, and he parked the car right in the middle of an intersection.\u00a0 There was a lot of traffic coming, and he just parked there, and said, \"Would you marry me?\" and gave me a ring.\u00a0 And, of course, I started screaming\u2014that's when I got home my dad said, \"You graduate first, and then you get married.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Not too romantic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, it was intersection.\u00a0 That's romantic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Why did you ask her in the middle of an intersection to marry you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I don't know.\u00a0 I was very nervous.\u00a0 I didn't know what to do.\u00a0 I was looking for a spot, and I couldn't take it anymore, so I just parked.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie: <\/strong>\u00a0Stopped the car.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Stopped the car.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There you go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie: <\/strong>\u00a0He\u2019s spontaneous.\u00a0 He\u2019s very spontaneous. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And so you were married as you finished med school, moved into your residency, and did you feel the stresses and strains of med school immediately upon your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It was hard.\u00a0 Before, we would see each other only on weekends, and I had the week to myself to study, and it was fine.\u00a0 But now I had somebody else at home that I needed to interact with.\u00a0 So I was always feeling the stress.\u00a0 \"I have to study, but I have Debbie, and what do I do?\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You were probably feeling like a new bride who was not getting as much attention from her husband as his professors were getting from him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, right away I remember feeling many times that medicine was taking first place.\u00a0 Now, the thing was, I always thought, \"Oh, this is temporary,\" because you're a new bride, and being raised in a Christian home, you are supposed to just be victory in Jesus.\u00a0 I just thought, \"This is just temporary.\u00a0 It will get better, it will be better, it will be better, it will be better.\"\u00a0 I just kept saying that to myself, and didn't actually say much to Alberto, because I thought he had plenty of pressure coming from the outside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But you were feeling pretty lonely all the way through that period?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes, and especially when we finished medical school, Alberto actually came to the States for residency.\u00a0 So not only was I feeling alone because he was at the hospital all of the time, but my family wasn't there, either.\u00a0 So here I was in a different country with a different language with no extended family, no friends, no church.\u00a0 It was pretty lonely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's important to point out that as you started out your marriage, you are not unlike the way a lot of \"Christian\" couples start their relationship.\u00a0 They think because they met at church or they had church in common, had a similar walk with Christ that, \"Hey, we'll be okay.\u00a0 We'll be able to merge two selfish people into this relationship.\"\u00a0 Well, what happens is called reality, and reality can result in loneliness and despair and hurt and further isolation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, at our Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Conference you get a plan to really help you counteract the isolation that creeps in to every marriage.\u00a0 Debbie, you described the slow death of your marriage as a trickle\u2014that, trickle-by-trickle, your marriage was dying.\u00a0 How did you know that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, as the years continued, and I tried to think that this was a temporary thing, I think the reality of, \"No, this is not going away,\" started setting in.\u00a0 It wasn't from one day to the other, but it was like a little drop that was falling away from my life every day and, more and more, Alberto and I were becoming strangers.\u00a0 We were living under the same roof, but total strangers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dr. Rodriguez, were you aware of what was going on in your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, you never think that this can happen.\u00a0 We love each other.\u00a0 It wasn't like I didn't love her or she didn't love me.\u00a0 We wanted the best for each other and for our marriage, but it was just every day we were separating, kind of each one on their own paths and not communicating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But did you have a sense of the same thing?\u00a0 Did you think, \"Gee, I miss Debbie.\u00a0 I'm not getting time with her.\u00a0 I'm lonely\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really, I was so busy.\u00a0 The years that followed my medical school were internship and residency.\u00a0 I was so busy in the hospital that I couldn't think about any of this.\u00a0 What I was feeling or not feeling.\u00a0 You detach from your feelings and take care of people that are really sick.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don't know what the statistics are, but I know anecdotally that anyone I talk to who has been through medical school tells me of the toll that takes on marriages.\u00a0 In fact, you all were saying that in your class there were not a lot of marriages that survived medical school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, I don't think that from our whole class that graduated with us from medical school that there were more than five couples whose marriages are still intact.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Out of how many?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, wow\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 100\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 100 and some\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, really?\u00a0 Like 95 failed?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of couples who have experienced the kind of isolation that you have been describing think, \"If we have a baby that will pull us back together.\"\u00a0 Did you have that thought?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, actually, for 10 years we had been waiting to start a family, because I was working full time, and my dream was when we'd have a baby I want to be home.\u00a0 We had a lot of debt, like you were saying, Dennis, and we just had a lot of strain.\u00a0 We wanted to make it right.\u00a0 The time came when we thought, \"Well, maybe now is the time,\" and that was the time that there was also a transition in Alberto's career from academia into opening a private practice, and that's when I got pregnant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen the thing with us was in that period of 18 months, I became pregnant.\u00a0 We opened a practice.\u00a0 I had an accident that put me in a wheelchair and crutches for four months.\u00a0 We had tremendous financial stresses with medical school debt and also the opening of the new practice, and just our life seemed to\u2014at that point, there was not much communication, and that's when it just\u2014it all collapsed all at the same time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When your wife came and told you, \"Alberto, we're going to have a baby,\" did you say, \"Oh, that's great, honey.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I really did.\u00a0 That was my dream.\u00a0 I love children and, like a good man, I can only think one thing\u2013focus on one thing at a time, so I forgot all my debts, all the practice, every problem, and I say, \"A child?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But your practical wife was thinking, \"No, sweetheart, you don't understand.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He actually said, \"This is great.\"\u00a0 And I said, \"You're kidding me, right?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, the reason he said it was great was because he was oblivious to the misery and the pain you were feeling in your marriage.\u00a0 He had no idea you were not happy in this marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I wasn\u2019t helping, Dennis, because I was from the school of thought and taught that a good Christian wife is supposed to stuff it, and so I was stuffing it.\u00a0 I just thought a good Christian wife is supposed to stuff her feelings, and being transparent with my husband about what I was feeling was not an option for me.\u00a0 So all this time, Alberto pretty much thought that things were going okay when, in reality, our marriage was dying little by little, and he had no idea it was happening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was a good provider.\u00a0 I love her.\u00a0 I tended to her when I was home.\u00a0 I love her family. We worked hard in our church.\u00a0 Everything was going very well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about the possibility of divorce?\u00a0 Today couples move to this as an easy solution when the misery and the pain are too great.\u00a0 Did that cross your mind?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 At the time that I actually told Alberto I was leaving, yes, it did.\u00a0 But the thing is, Dennis, you don't think\u2014divorce is a big word that is a bad word.\u00a0 You don't get to that point thinking that you're going to get to that point.\u00a0 You think of divorce as no, I'll never be divorced, but you move towards divorce without knowing that's exactly what you're doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you separated from him at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We were still living under the same roof, but we had separated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She came to me one weekend on a Saturday and said, \"I'm leaving you, and I'm taking the baby with me.\"\u00a0 I couldn't comprehend.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you talking about?\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 I didn't do anything bad.\u00a0 Can we talk about this?\u00a0 Can we do something?\u00a0 Can we fix it?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember Alberto saying, \"What have I done that you want to leave me?\u00a0 What have I done?\"\u00a0 And he hadn't done anything.\u00a0 It was just that there was nothing left.\u00a0 I remember that Saturday morning at our kitchen table.\u00a0 The pain had just gotten so great that I thought, \"I have to escape this.\"\u00a0 Now, again, I didn't say, \"I'm going to divorce you.\"\u00a0 I just wanted to escape the pain, so I said, \"I'm leaving you,\" but it's the same thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Usually in a situation like this, a woman has fired flares into the air\u2014a warning flare, a warning shot.\u00a0 Are you saying you didn't fire those flares?\u00a0 Are you saying that Alberto was so clueless he didn't even see the flash of the flare as it was fired?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong>\u00a0 He was clueless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She fired.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did you fire flares over the air?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Debbie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think once in a while I would just throw a fit.\u00a0 I would just explode and throw a fit, and then he would take me out to dinner, and things would be right back okay when we never dealt with the issues.\u00a0 We never dealt with what is it that's isolating us this way?\u00a0 What can we do?\u00a0 Can we be proactive on this?\u00a0 We never did that.\u00a0 We just fixed it for the night that was it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, be honest, Alberto\u2013were you thinking, \"Okay, she's in one of her moods.\u00a0 I take her out to dinner, she'll get over the mood, and everything will be fine.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\"I've read about this in the medical books.\u00a0 This is a condition that's treatable.\"\u00a0 Is that how you thought about it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yeah, I thought, \"This is going to go away, and she's feeling bad, and we'll fix it.\"\u00a0 I'm feeling pretty good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And so after dinner she's nicer, she doesn't seem to be upset, you think that fixed it.\u00a0 The next time she has one of those moods, I'll take her to dinner again, and we'll fix it again, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alberto:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think a lot of husbands\u2013they don't know\u2013is there a real issue here or is it just a bad day.\u00a0 Do I fix it with dinner or do we really have to get serious about what's going on in our relationship?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, and what Debbie did so well is really to clarify how she, as a woman, could be asking for a relationship and how a man can interpret that by hearing that there is a problem to be fixed that's like throwing a switch.\u00a0 I'll go throw a few dollars at a romantic evening out, say a few sweet words, and everything will be okay.\u00a0 But as Debbie just said, he wasn't addressing the core issue that most wives are desperate to have with their husbands, which is a relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat's what happens at the Weekend to Remember\u00ae.\u00a0 We give couples not only the practical instruction from the Scriptures at how to have a real relationship, but we also give them the time to talk.\u00a0 Now, that may sound funny, but in this day and age, to have a weekend to focus on just your marriage.\u00a0 Now, think about that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's like an island\u2013go to the island and focus on your marriage and give it a chance to grow.\u00a0 Most of us never see our marriages grow because we never invest more than an evening out in the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, we never get to the island because we don\u2019t make plans in advance to get there. You\u2019d think, \u201cOh, we ought to do that some day.\u201d\u00a0 Well, guess what, if you don\u2019t, if you\u2019re not intentional and deliberate, you won\u2019t get there.\u00a0 We just locked in the schedule for the Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Getaways for this Fall.\u00a0 They\u2019re going to be in cities all across the country.\u00a0 In fact, we\u2019ve got spring of 2011 all locked in as well.\u00a0 So, if folks want to, they can be intentional now, and sign up to attend one of these Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Getaways when it comes to a city near where they live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause they\u2019re <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners, we\u2019re going to let them sign up as a part of our group.\u00a0 Give them the group rate, which is the lowest rate we offer to anybody throughout the year.\u00a0 It\u2019s a buy-one-get-one-free offer so you sign up, you put my name in the group box, just type \u201cBOB\u201d in there when you\u2019re filling out the online registration form, just put \u201cBOB\u201d in the group box, and then you buy one registration, the second one comes at no cost.\u00a0 As I said, that\u2019s the best rate we offer to anybody.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve also asked the team if there\u2019s not some way that we could say thank you to those folks who listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and who sign up early.\u00a0 They said, okay, they\u2019ll send a special thank you gift to anybody who signs up as a part of my group, this week or next week.\u00a0 Again, go online and get the information you need about when one of these getaways is coming to a city near where you live.\u00a0 And, then go ahead and get signed up as a part of my group.\u00a0 Put \u201cBOB\u201d in the group box, and not only will you get the special group rate, but you\u2019ll also get the thank you gift that we\u2019re going to send out to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf it\u2019s easier to call, 1-800-FL-TODAY, is the number.\u00a0 1-800-358-6329, 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life then the word TODAY, we can answer any questions you have about the getaway, or we can get you signed up over the phone.\u00a0 We hope you\u2019ll come out and join us.\u00a0 These are great weekends for couples, and we want you to experience it and be a part of one of these either this fall or into next spring.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve been sitting here thinking about the fact that it may be that some of our listeners know couples who are in the situation that Alberto and Debbie were in, where it\u2019s a marriage that\u2019s gone stale and they\u2019re just throwing in the towel on it.\u00a0 They might want to get a copy of the CD of Alberto and Debbie\u2019s story to pass along to somebody who is in this situation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll send you a copy of the CD at no cost if you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and request it.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com, just request a copy of the CD that features this week\u2019s program with Alberto and Debbie and when you get the CD, listen to it again, or pass it along to somebody you know who would benefit from hearing their testimony.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, FamilyLifeToday.com, you can request the CD from us online, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, and we\u2019ll send it out to you.\u00a0 You can pass it along to somebody you know who would benefit from listening to their story.\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, tomorrow we\u2019re going to hear the rest of Alberto and Debbie\u2019s story.\u00a0 Hear about the turnaround that took place in their marriage.\u00a0 I hope you can be back with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302079","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302079"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302079"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302079"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302079"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302079"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302079"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302079"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}