{"id":302047,"date":"2010-05-27T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-05-27T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/walking-by-faith\/"},"modified":"2010-05-27T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-05-27T15:00:00","slug":"walking-by-faith","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/walking-by-faith\/","title":{"rendered":"Walking by Faith"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The soon-to-be arrival of a newborn is anticipated with joy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-05-27.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.32M","filesize_raw":"25498683","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2883],"tags":[4927,2877],"podcast_series":[7730],"cwp_profile":[9198],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302047","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-resurrected-marriages","tag-challenges","tag-marriage","podcast_series-i-will-carry-you","cwp_profile-todd-and-angie-smith","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302047\/walking-by-faith","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302047\/walking-by-faith","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"3pCaIn725k\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/walking-by-faith\/\">Walking by Faith<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/walking-by-faith\/embed\/#?secret=3pCaIn725k\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Walking by Faith&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"3pCaIn725k\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-05-27.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-05-27.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It was early in her pregnancy that Angie Smith went to the doctors for a routine medical test and saw on the face of the medical technician a look that no expectant mother ever wants to see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She started the ultrasound, and I\u2019ve had many ultrasounds, I know what their body language is saying.\u00a0 Her eyes were darting around, she was incredibly uncomfortable.\u00a0 Finally, I couldn\u2019t handle the silence any more.\u00a0 I just looked at her and said, \u201cIs this baby going to live?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHer expression was panic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, May 27<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Todd and Angie Smith share with us today about how God met them as they walked down a very difficult path together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, Mary Ann and I have talked about different challenges and trials we have faced in our marriage but, really beyond that, what would be the hard things to go through.\u00a0 I remember one night when we were out walking around the block and we were just talking about what would be really tough for us to go through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first thing to come to mind was the suffering or death of a child.\u00a0 I just thought I don\u2019t know anything that would be harder.\u00a0 In fact, I remember saying to Mary Ann, in some ways it would be harder to watch a child suffer and lose a child, than to lose you.\u00a0 Now, I don\u2019t know that I knew what I was talking about when I said that.\u00a0 But, it was almost like, you\u2019ve had some life, the child hasn\u2019t.\u00a0 There\u2019s just a different kind of grief that goes along with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes and a lot of couples don\u2019t realize that about one in four, some estimate as many as one in three pregnancies are terminated before they give birth.\u00a0 So, there\u2019s a loss there.\u00a0 Not only the loss of having a baby, but marriages also face the issue of losing children, as you\u2019re talking about, Bob.\u00a0 A lot of our listeners have faced these moments and know these can be perilous times for a couple.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTodd and Angie Smith join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and they\u2019ve got a story that I think is going to be very instructive for all of our listeners.\u00a0 Just, in terms of navigating valleys, difficult times, and really trusting God in the midst of the valley of the shadow of death.\u00a0 Angie, Todd, welcome back to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd &amp; Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Angie has written a book called <em>I Will Carry You.<\/em> Todd is a singer\/songwriter for <em>Selah<\/em>, and has been singing with them for 13 years.\u00a0 They now have four daughters, but they\u2019ve got one in the hangar right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s a good way to put it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong>\u00a0 Almost here!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Probably going to born soon. Anyway, I wanted to recap what you shared earlier.\u00a0 You guys got married, immediately got pregnant, and miscarried that first child.\u00a0 Almost as quickly you got pregnant again.\u00a0 This time, you found out you had twins.\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 Then, after a long and difficult pregnancy, number three came along, Kate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was an easy pregnancy, but a difficult child.\u00a0 Those were your words, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen on Kate\u2019s second birthday you found out you were pregnant again.\u00a0 Now, at this point Todd, did you have any sense that there was something that might not be right?\u00a0 You were undoubtedly watching your wife.\u00a0 You\u2019d been through the experience of a miscarriage.\u00a0 What were you picking up from Angie?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She sensed right away, I mean right away, that something was wrong.\u00a0 I just thought she was probably just worrying, being a mother.\u00a0 We would go to the doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 I think it was reassuring too to hear the nurse say, \u201cOh, no you\u2019re fine.\u201d\u00a0 She just wasn\u2019t growing at the rate that she thought she should, as far as showing.\u00a0 We all thought, \u201cNo, you\u2019re OK, you\u2019re just overreacting.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we got a call that there was a possibility that Audrey might have Downs Syndrome.\u00a0 Which was a couple of weeks before the ultrasound.\u00a0 So, other than that, I didn\u2019t think there was anything that was happening.\u00a0 Then, we went in for the ultrasound, and that\u2019s when we found out the news.\u00a0 But I thought things were going to be fine.\u00a0 I thought things were going to be OK.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The Downs Syndrome, did that come as the result of an amniocentesis?\u00a0 How did they\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Actually, there\u2019s a standard test that you can opt to have while you\u2019re pretty early on in your pregnancy that just tells you what the odds are of a baby having Downs Syndrome.\u00a0 Honestly, we obviously wouldn\u2019t have done anything differently if she had Downs Syndrome.\u00a0 My background is in developmental psychology, so I have worked with Downs Syndrome children.\u00a0 There\u2019s another dimension we would have needed to add into our lives, but it was just something we wanted to know to prepare ourselves to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Take us to that medical office where a technician was doing some tests.\u00a0 You undoubtedly had a moment where you saw a look on that technician\u2019s face.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, and it was very quickly after they started.\u00a0 She started the ultrasound and\u2014you know I\u2019ve done this a lot.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had many ultrasounds.\u00a0 I know what their body language is saying.\u00a0 Her eyes were just darting around; she just looked like she was incredibly uncomfortable.\u00a0 Finally, I couldn\u2019t handle the silence any more.\u00a0 I just looked at her and said, \u201cIs this baby going to live?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cI don\u2019t think she has\u2026\u201d\u00a0 She just kept stopping her sentences; she didn\u2019t know what to say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Now, wait a second.\u00a0 You instantly went to the bottom line of your baby living?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Why?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I could tell.\u00a0 Her expression was panic, honestly.\u00a0 It was a look that I knew meant, this is a life or death situation.\u00a0 She was scrambling to try and look on the screen, her movements indicated to me that this was not \u201cThere may be something that we\u2019ll have to deal with at birth,\u201d or \u201cWe\u2019re seeing this.\u201d\u00a0 It was the air left the room, and this woman was looking at me like, she\u2019s got to tell me that my child is very sick.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Todd, were you with Angie at this appointment?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And did you sense it immediately as well?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 You could sense it.\u00a0 Now, when Angie asked that question, that\u2019s when it really sunk in from \u201cHey, this going to be great!\u00a0 We\u2019re going to find out this and this, and get to see her,\u201d to now, \u201cThis is probably the end.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How many weeks along were you at this point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I was about 18 weeks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What did the doctor say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He was very kind to me, he just said, first \u201cHow are you doing?\u00a0 Are you OK?\u00a0 Sweetie this must be overwhelming.\u201d\u00a0 And I said, I\u2019m OK.\u00a0 My Jesus is the same as He was before I walked through that door.\u201d\u00a0 I just kept saying that to myself.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think he thought I was crazy but he just wanted me to find some comfort in something.\u00a0 Then, he sat down and started the ultrasound over again and became more specific about the issues that they were seeing.\u00a0 At that point they had identified three or four different complications that made her, in their words, \u201cIncompatible with life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What did they see on the ultrasound?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>One of the main concerns was that there was basically zero fluid.\u00a0 There was almost no amniotic fluid, which is usually an indication that something has happened with their kidneys.\u00a0 When they looked they thought they could see that there were cysts on her kidneys, they just had not formed right.\u00a0 They weren\u2019t sure that she had several vital organs.\u00a0 They said she didn\u2019t have four chambers in her heart.\u00a0 It was a list of things, but most notably were these three or four issues that they just said, even if everything else we\u2019re seeing cleared up, she could not survive with these conditions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At that point, you\u2019re in this doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 Todd what took place at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He basically said, \u201cAngie, you\u2019re going to look very differently by the end of the day.\u201d\u00a0 He was assuming that we would terminate the pregnancy right there.\u00a0 We went in and met with another doctor who worked with him.\u00a0 She had one child and then she had lost four.\u00a0 Two of them she had carried to term, two of them she terminated the pregnancy.\u00a0 She was a very compassionate woman.\u00a0 She was crying when she was talking to Angie, and she recommended termination.\u00a0 One of the things we were told was because there was no amniotic fluid, that Audrey would feel pain, and her bones would potentially break, and she would be very disjointed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, as a parent you start to think, \u201cWell, I know what I believe as far as life goes, but what would be more compassionate for my child?\u00a0 Do we go ahead and do this, or do we carry her to term?\u00a0 We don\u2019t want her to suffer.\u201d\u00a0 So we went home that night and wanted to get a second opinion from a doctor who, humanly speaking had saved our twins\u2019 lives.\u00a0 He was a brilliant doctor and a specialist in pregnancies like this.\u00a0 So he confirmed everything and by that time we knew that we wanted to carry Audrey until God took her, until we could at least get her to term, which was around 32 weeks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019m just imagining that night.\u00a0 You have some little girls at home do they even know what\u2019s going on yet?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We explained everything to them the following day.\u00a0 They knew that something was wrong.\u00a0 We ended up spending the night in the hospital, that night so that we could see the specialist in the morning.\u00a0 He was on call.\u00a0 One of the things\u2014I think I talk about this in the book even\u2014that I will remember about that night is that we checked into the hospital, and we went to set our things down, and we opened up the windows.\u00a0 Of course it\u2019s dark, it\u2019s a Nashville night, and it\u2019s just beautiful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur room was looking exactly at the place where we had had our wedding reception.\u00a0 I just thought to myself, we had no idea when we were saying the things that we said, that in a matter of time we would be standing in a completely different room asking to make good on the vows that we had said.\u00a0 \u201cIn sickness and in health,\u201d here we are curled up in a little tiny bed, crying.\u00a0 The doctor came in the next morning.\u00a0 He was really someone I just really trusted.\u00a0 So, when he gave us his thoughts on the situation, it really helped.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did he suggest that it would be OK to carry to term without it being painful for Audrey?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He did.\u00a0 He did not recommend termination.\u00a0 It was not a religious issue for him, but he knew that it was for us.\u00a0 So he gave us very good advice as far as our concerns with exactly that, with her being in pain.\u00a0 He basically said, \u201cWe don\u2019t have reason to believe that she will be.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We can have a reflex response to the idea of pregnancy termination because, as you said, we\u2019ve got this conviction that you just don\u2019t do that.\u00a0 Until somebody says, well your baby might suffer for a long time and experience broken bones.\u00a0 Then, all of a sudden you go, \u201cOK Lord, now it\u2019s not as cut and dried an issue as it might have seemed otherwise.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Barbara and I have been through this as grandparents, not as parents, but we watched our daughter Rebecca go through incredibly difficult moments.\u00a0 It\u2019s fascinating that in the midst of the valley that you enter into, that there are some light-hearted moments.\u00a0 You wouldn\u2019t think you would ever laugh again.\u00a0 That\u2019s how you actually feel.\u00a0 But for you, a few days before your next ultrasound, you were out shopping and you ran into a store window that had something in it that you decided you had to have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, I had really wanted to have it before that, but my husband thought it was an unreasonable price.\u00a0 So we didn\u2019t end up buying it\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Which it was at the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But, after that appointment, actually where we had the diagnosis confirmed we had to drive right by there.\u00a0 I said to Todd, \u201cCan we go back?\u201d\u00a0 We both knew, I said, \u201cI just want to go back and get that bunny.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you have to remember at that time, her heart was one of the major issues.\u00a0 We walk in the store and it looks like they\u2019ve sold out, and all of a sudden we see these two little ears poking out of a barrel.\u00a0 Todd grabs the ears and pulls it up, and this bunny has this black mark on its heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Now, we\u2019re talking about a stuffed bunny.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It\u2019s a stuffed bunny.\u00a0 Yes, just a little toy in a store.\u00a0 We both started crying.\u00a0 We went up to the register and, of course I\u2019m sure they all thought we were nuts.\u00a0 We\u2019re buying a stuffed bunny and we\u2019re crying in the store.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cLet me give you a discount.\u201d\u00a0 We said, \u201cNo, we\u2019ll pay full price for the bunny.\u201d\u00a0 She kept trying to scratch at the mark, and here Todd and I are crying, \u201cIt\u2019s not going to come off.\u00a0 Just don\u2019t worry about it; it\u2019s not going to come off.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we brought the bunny home, and set it on a chair.\u00a0 That\u2019s when we explained to Abby, Ellie and Kate that we had found out that Audrey had a boo-boo like the bunny\u2019s boo-boo, and we let the girls put Band-aids over the bunny\u2019s heart, and ask us questions.\u00a0 We\u2019d already set up her crib at this time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBasically they said, \u201cWill she be coming home?\u201d\u00a0 We just said, \u201cGod is able to do whatever He chooses, and we will continue to have hope in that, till we can\u2019t have hope in her surviving any more.\u00a0 But, some very smart people have told us that\u2019s probably not going to happen.\u00a0 So, we need to live life with her now.\u00a0 So, what do you want to do with her?\u201d\u00a0 Ellie said I want to show her Cinderella\u2019s castle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At Disney World.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At Disney World.\u00a0 So, we booked a flight, went out and we have pictures of Ellie talking to my stomach, and pointing at the castle and saying, \u201cI told you Audrey, I told you.\u00a0 Look at this!\u201d\u00a0 I have rolls of film of my stomach at the ballet, and at the park, and everywhere I gave them cameras and said, \u201cLet\u2019s take pictures.\u00a0 This is the time we have with her.\u201d\u00a0 So, we lived a lot of life with her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Where did you get that?\u00a0 I guess developmental psychology may have helped prepare you for some of that.\u00a0 Huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I really think it did, which excites my dad, because I\u2019m actually using my degree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019ll tell you what Angie had such natural intuition, and I think her studies, her background, was incredibly helpful, because I didn\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 There was always something, just like with the bunny, it was a great picture of how to show the kids that she\u2019s sick.\u00a0 To literally put those Band-aids on, they could relate to that.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t try to hide anything from them.\u00a0 There were some things they obviously couldn\u2019t understand.\u00a0 But, especially Angie, was so good at getting them involved and taking them through the process.\u00a0 She did an incredible job with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The apostle Paul says, \u201cBut now abide faith, hope and love.\u201d\u00a0 You experienced all three at a profound level.\u00a0 There\u2019s no way to describe how you experienced that in such a brief period of time.\u00a0 Hope is an interesting thing though.\u00a0 Were you hoping, even up until the birth that Audrey was going to be OK?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I was.\u00a0 I genuinely believed that if it was His will, He could heal her.\u00a0 I do think it\u2019s important to say, and I try and talk about this whenever I do interviews.\u00a0 Audrey\u2019s diagnosis did not stay the same throughout my pregnancy.\u00a0 Some of the things that they said could not medically happen did happen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of the original diagnoses they said, she\u2019ll continue to get more cysts on her kidneys, or this will continue to happen, or she doesn\u2019t have a bladder, she doesn\u2019t have this.\u00a0 We went back for an ultrasound several weeks later, and the technician just stared at me.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know what to say.\u00a0 She said, \u201cI see on the report what they\u2019ve said, but this is her bladder.\u00a0 It\u2019s right here.\u00a0 Here\u2019s this.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what was happening in my womb, but I know what they saw the first time, and I know what they saw later.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe details are up to the Lord.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what happened in that time period, but it certainly strengthened in me the feeling that God always give us an opportunity to hope, always.\u00a0 In that moment, I felt like He was saying, \u201cYou have no idea what\u2019s going on, don\u2019t make assumptions about what my will is.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Todd, I want to ask you a tough question here.\u00a0 Because, as a father you were wanting to hope too.\u00a0 But as a husband, you are called to care for your wife, to nourish and cherish her.\u00a0 And you\u2019re watching your wife\u2019s hope grow.\u00a0 As a man, you could segment this out a bit differently than a mom does.\u00a0 How did you express love to her, and attempt to guard her heart from the disappointment that you knew could truly happen the day Audrey was born.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s a great question.\u00a0 I had hope, I don\u2019t think I had the hope that Angie had.\u00a0 But, I believed fervently that God could heal her.\u00a0 But, as far as the reality of it goes, I was always looking at, \u201cOK, when Audrey is born, what do we do after that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, there were a lot of times where she would tell me what she thought, and I was always happy to listen to that.\u00a0 In myself I was even going, \u201cLord, I wish I could believe that much.\u00a0 I do believe you can heal her, but we don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think her hope, to me, was always healthy.\u00a0 It was never over the top where she got carried away with it.\u00a0 Maybe a couple of times I would jump in and say, \u201cBut we also know the reality of what will probably happen,\u201d which she knew.\u00a0 So, I let her believe that way, because, there was a reality that that really could happen.\u00a0 I never thought she got to the point where it was over the top, or I would have to jump in and go, \u201cYes but, baby we don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen.\u201d\u00a0 We both, up to the point where she was born thought there was a real possibility.\u00a0 So, I think it was pretty healthy as far as what she believed would happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Someone has made the statement\u2014I thought of this quote when I was reading through your book, and was aware of your story, Angie\u2014they said, \u201cLife is not about waiting for the storm to pass.\u00a0 It\u2019s about learning how to dance in the rain.\u201d\u00a0 I have to admit a few moments ago as you were telling your story and I was listening to your heart hope, I became a papa again.\u00a0 I thought about caring for my daughter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a man you can\u2019t fix it.\u00a0 There is no fixing certain things.\u00a0 We have powers, but we don\u2019t possess the ability to reverse a process that, who knows why that occurred.\u00a0 But, we do know God uses these matters in our lives to produce faith, the knowledge of Him and perseverance.\u00a0 Today, you know Him at a level you would never have known Him at, had you not been through this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s Audrey\u2019s gift, and her legacy.\u00a0 Her gift to you and the legacy of her life is that she brought you deeper in your relationship with her creator, and with your Lord and your master.\u00a0 And, whatever His purpose or His design, that\u2019s a part of the gift that has been given to you and the gift that you shared with us.\u00a0 Not only today on the program but in the book you\u2019ve written called <em>I Will Carry You:<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy.<\/em>\u00a0 I know as you\u2019ve shared this story with tens of thousands of people, God has used it powerfully to minister to a lot of folks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow that the book is available, that message is going out even farther.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got it in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center if our listeners are interested in getting a copy, they can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 There\u2019s also information there about the book that Barbara Rainey and Rebecca Rainey Mutz have written called, <em>A Symphony in the Dark<\/em>, that tells a similar story to the one that you\u2019ve shared, the story of the birth of Molly Mutz and her seven days of life before God took her home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get more information about both of those books again at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call us at, 1-800-FL-TODAY for more information about those resources.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just quickly let our listeners know that you guys are going to be joining with us next February.\u00a0 FamilyLife is hosting a week-long Valentine\u2019s Week marriage cruise, the FamilyLife Love Like You Mean It Cruise; it\u2019s going to be in the Caribbean in February.\u00a0 <em>Selah<\/em> is going to be there singing Dennis and Barbara are going to be on the cruise speaking, I\u2019m going to be on with my wife Mary Ann.\u00a0 Crawford and Karen Loritts are going to be joining us, others are going to be along, and it\u2019s going to be a great week.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s more information online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and ask about the Love Like You Mean It Cruise, and we hope many of our listeners will come aboard and set sail with us.\u00a0 We\u2019re looking forward to a great week together where we can focus on building stronger marriages, and have some fun at the same time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore we wrap up here today, let me remind you, we\u2019ve got just a few days left in the months of May, which means just a few days left for us to try to rally the troops to help with the matching gift challenge that we received in the month of May.\u00a0 We had some friends who pledged to match every donation we receive on a on a dollar-for-dollar basis up to a total of now\u2014more than $350,000 that\u2019s been pledged.\u00a0 We are trying to take full advantage of this matching gift before the month ends.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo be able to do that we need as many listeners as we can rally to do whatever you can do.\u00a0 If it\u2019s $10, or $20, or $30 or $40, whatever you can do.\u00a0 If it is $50 or $100 or $200 or whatever.\u00a0 Your donation is going to be matched dollar-for-dollar and you are going to be moving us one step closer to being able to, as I said, take advantage of this matching gift pledge that some friends have made.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if you can make a donation online today at FamilyLifeToday.com or by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY, we would appreciate it.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us, your prayers for us, and we appreciate you listening to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We really count that as a privilege as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that in mind, we hope you can be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear the conclusion of what Todd and Angie Smith have been here sharing with us this week.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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soon-to-be arrival of a newborn is anticipated with joy.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-05-27.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It was early in her pregnancy that Angie Smith went to the doctors for a routine medical test and saw on the face of the medical technician a look that no expectant mother ever wants to see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She started the ultrasound, and I\u2019ve had many ultrasounds, I know what their body language is saying.\u00a0 Her eyes were darting around, she was incredibly uncomfortable.\u00a0 Finally, I couldn\u2019t handle the silence any more.\u00a0 I just looked at her and said, \u201cIs this baby going to live?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHer expression was panic.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, May 27<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Todd and Angie Smith share with us today about how God met them as they walked down a very difficult path together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, Mary Ann and I have talked about different challenges and trials we have faced in our marriage but, really beyond that, what would be the hard things to go through.\u00a0 I remember one night when we were out walking around the block and we were just talking about what would be really tough for us to go through.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first thing to come to mind was the suffering or death of a child.\u00a0 I just thought I don\u2019t know anything that would be harder.\u00a0 In fact, I remember saying to Mary Ann, in some ways it would be harder to watch a child suffer and lose a child, than to lose you.\u00a0 Now, I don\u2019t know that I knew what I was talking about when I said that.\u00a0 But, it was almost like, you\u2019ve had some life, the child hasn\u2019t.\u00a0 There\u2019s just a different kind of grief that goes along with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes and a lot of couples don\u2019t realize that about one in four, some estimate as many as one in three pregnancies are terminated before they give birth.\u00a0 So, there\u2019s a loss there.\u00a0 Not only the loss of having a baby, but marriages also face the issue of losing children, as you\u2019re talking about, Bob.\u00a0 A lot of our listeners have faced these moments and know these can be perilous times for a couple.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTodd and Angie Smith join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and they\u2019ve got a story that I think is going to be very instructive for all of our listeners.\u00a0 Just, in terms of navigating valleys, difficult times, and really trusting God in the midst of the valley of the shadow of death.\u00a0 Angie, Todd, welcome back to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd &amp; Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Angie has written a book called <em>I Will Carry You.<\/em> Todd is a singer\/songwriter for <em>Selah<\/em>, and has been singing with them for 13 years.\u00a0 They now have four daughters, but they\u2019ve got one in the hangar right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s a good way to put it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong>\u00a0 Almost here!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Probably going to born soon. Anyway, I wanted to recap what you shared earlier.\u00a0 You guys got married, immediately got pregnant, and miscarried that first child.\u00a0 Almost as quickly you got pregnant again.\u00a0 This time, you found out you had twins.\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 Then, after a long and difficult pregnancy, number three came along, Kate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was an easy pregnancy, but a difficult child.\u00a0 Those were your words, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen on Kate\u2019s second birthday you found out you were pregnant again.\u00a0 Now, at this point Todd, did you have any sense that there was something that might not be right?\u00a0 You were undoubtedly watching your wife.\u00a0 You\u2019d been through the experience of a miscarriage.\u00a0 What were you picking up from Angie?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She sensed right away, I mean right away, that something was wrong.\u00a0 I just thought she was probably just worrying, being a mother.\u00a0 We would go to the doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 I think it was reassuring too to hear the nurse say, \u201cOh, no you\u2019re fine.\u201d\u00a0 She just wasn\u2019t growing at the rate that she thought she should, as far as showing.\u00a0 We all thought, \u201cNo, you\u2019re OK, you\u2019re just overreacting.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we got a call that there was a possibility that Audrey might have Downs Syndrome.\u00a0 Which was a couple of weeks before the ultrasound.\u00a0 So, other than that, I didn\u2019t think there was anything that was happening.\u00a0 Then, we went in for the ultrasound, and that\u2019s when we found out the news.\u00a0 But I thought things were going to be fine.\u00a0 I thought things were going to be OK.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The Downs Syndrome, did that come as the result of an amniocentesis?\u00a0 How did they\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Actually, there\u2019s a standard test that you can opt to have while you\u2019re pretty early on in your pregnancy that just tells you what the odds are of a baby having Downs Syndrome.\u00a0 Honestly, we obviously wouldn\u2019t have done anything differently if she had Downs Syndrome.\u00a0 My background is in developmental psychology, so I have worked with Downs Syndrome children.\u00a0 There\u2019s another dimension we would have needed to add into our lives, but it was just something we wanted to know to prepare ourselves to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Take us to that medical office where a technician was doing some tests.\u00a0 You undoubtedly had a moment where you saw a look on that technician\u2019s face.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, and it was very quickly after they started.\u00a0 She started the ultrasound and\u2014you know I\u2019ve done this a lot.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had many ultrasounds.\u00a0 I know what their body language is saying.\u00a0 Her eyes were just darting around; she just looked like she was incredibly uncomfortable.\u00a0 Finally, I couldn\u2019t handle the silence any more.\u00a0 I just looked at her and said, \u201cIs this baby going to live?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cI don\u2019t think she has\u2026\u201d\u00a0 She just kept stopping her sentences; she didn\u2019t know what to say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Now, wait a second.\u00a0 You instantly went to the bottom line of your baby living?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Why?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I could tell.\u00a0 Her expression was panic, honestly.\u00a0 It was a look that I knew meant, this is a life or death situation.\u00a0 She was scrambling to try and look on the screen, her movements indicated to me that this was not \u201cThere may be something that we\u2019ll have to deal with at birth,\u201d or \u201cWe\u2019re seeing this.\u201d\u00a0 It was the air left the room, and this woman was looking at me like, she\u2019s got to tell me that my child is very sick.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Todd, were you with Angie at this appointment?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And did you sense it immediately as well?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 You could sense it.\u00a0 Now, when Angie asked that question, that\u2019s when it really sunk in from \u201cHey, this going to be great!\u00a0 We\u2019re going to find out this and this, and get to see her,\u201d to now, \u201cThis is probably the end.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How many weeks along were you at this point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I was about 18 weeks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What did the doctor say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He was very kind to me, he just said, first \u201cHow are you doing?\u00a0 Are you OK?\u00a0 Sweetie this must be overwhelming.\u201d\u00a0 And I said, I\u2019m OK.\u00a0 My Jesus is the same as He was before I walked through that door.\u201d\u00a0 I just kept saying that to myself.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think he thought I was crazy but he just wanted me to find some comfort in something.\u00a0 Then, he sat down and started the ultrasound over again and became more specific about the issues that they were seeing.\u00a0 At that point they had identified three or four different complications that made her, in their words, \u201cIncompatible with life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What did they see on the ultrasound?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>One of the main concerns was that there was basically zero fluid.\u00a0 There was almost no amniotic fluid, which is usually an indication that something has happened with their kidneys.\u00a0 When they looked they thought they could see that there were cysts on her kidneys, they just had not formed right.\u00a0 They weren\u2019t sure that she had several vital organs.\u00a0 They said she didn\u2019t have four chambers in her heart.\u00a0 It was a list of things, but most notably were these three or four issues that they just said, even if everything else we\u2019re seeing cleared up, she could not survive with these conditions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At that point, you\u2019re in this doctor\u2019s office.\u00a0 Todd what took place at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He basically said, \u201cAngie, you\u2019re going to look very differently by the end of the day.\u201d\u00a0 He was assuming that we would terminate the pregnancy right there.\u00a0 We went in and met with another doctor who worked with him.\u00a0 She had one child and then she had lost four.\u00a0 Two of them she had carried to term, two of them she terminated the pregnancy.\u00a0 She was a very compassionate woman.\u00a0 She was crying when she was talking to Angie, and she recommended termination.\u00a0 One of the things we were told was because there was no amniotic fluid, that Audrey would feel pain, and her bones would potentially break, and she would be very disjointed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, as a parent you start to think, \u201cWell, I know what I believe as far as life goes, but what would be more compassionate for my child?\u00a0 Do we go ahead and do this, or do we carry her to term?\u00a0 We don\u2019t want her to suffer.\u201d\u00a0 So we went home that night and wanted to get a second opinion from a doctor who, humanly speaking had saved our twins\u2019 lives.\u00a0 He was a brilliant doctor and a specialist in pregnancies like this.\u00a0 So he confirmed everything and by that time we knew that we wanted to carry Audrey until God took her, until we could at least get her to term, which was around 32 weeks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019m just imagining that night.\u00a0 You have some little girls at home do they even know what\u2019s going on yet?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We explained everything to them the following day.\u00a0 They knew that something was wrong.\u00a0 We ended up spending the night in the hospital, that night so that we could see the specialist in the morning.\u00a0 He was on call.\u00a0 One of the things\u2014I think I talk about this in the book even\u2014that I will remember about that night is that we checked into the hospital, and we went to set our things down, and we opened up the windows.\u00a0 Of course it\u2019s dark, it\u2019s a Nashville night, and it\u2019s just beautiful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur room was looking exactly at the place where we had had our wedding reception.\u00a0 I just thought to myself, we had no idea when we were saying the things that we said, that in a matter of time we would be standing in a completely different room asking to make good on the vows that we had said.\u00a0 \u201cIn sickness and in health,\u201d here we are curled up in a little tiny bed, crying.\u00a0 The doctor came in the next morning.\u00a0 He was really someone I just really trusted.\u00a0 So, when he gave us his thoughts on the situation, it really helped.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did he suggest that it would be OK to carry to term without it being painful for Audrey?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He did.\u00a0 He did not recommend termination.\u00a0 It was not a religious issue for him, but he knew that it was for us.\u00a0 So he gave us very good advice as far as our concerns with exactly that, with her being in pain.\u00a0 He basically said, \u201cWe don\u2019t have reason to believe that she will be.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We can have a reflex response to the idea of pregnancy termination because, as you said, we\u2019ve got this conviction that you just don\u2019t do that.\u00a0 Until somebody says, well your baby might suffer for a long time and experience broken bones.\u00a0 Then, all of a sudden you go, \u201cOK Lord, now it\u2019s not as cut and dried an issue as it might have seemed otherwise.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Barbara and I have been through this as grandparents, not as parents, but we watched our daughter Rebecca go through incredibly difficult moments.\u00a0 It\u2019s fascinating that in the midst of the valley that you enter into, that there are some light-hearted moments.\u00a0 You wouldn\u2019t think you would ever laugh again.\u00a0 That\u2019s how you actually feel.\u00a0 But for you, a few days before your next ultrasound, you were out shopping and you ran into a store window that had something in it that you decided you had to have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, I had really wanted to have it before that, but my husband thought it was an unreasonable price.\u00a0 So we didn\u2019t end up buying it\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Which it was at the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But, after that appointment, actually where we had the diagnosis confirmed we had to drive right by there.\u00a0 I said to Todd, \u201cCan we go back?\u201d\u00a0 We both knew, I said, \u201cI just want to go back and get that bunny.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you have to remember at that time, her heart was one of the major issues.\u00a0 We walk in the store and it looks like they\u2019ve sold out, and all of a sudden we see these two little ears poking out of a barrel.\u00a0 Todd grabs the ears and pulls it up, and this bunny has this black mark on its heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Now, we\u2019re talking about a stuffed bunny.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It\u2019s a stuffed bunny.\u00a0 Yes, just a little toy in a store.\u00a0 We both started crying.\u00a0 We went up to the register and, of course I\u2019m sure they all thought we were nuts.\u00a0 We\u2019re buying a stuffed bunny and we\u2019re crying in the store.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cLet me give you a discount.\u201d\u00a0 We said, \u201cNo, we\u2019ll pay full price for the bunny.\u201d\u00a0 She kept trying to scratch at the mark, and here Todd and I are crying, \u201cIt\u2019s not going to come off.\u00a0 Just don\u2019t worry about it; it\u2019s not going to come off.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we brought the bunny home, and set it on a chair.\u00a0 That\u2019s when we explained to Abby, Ellie and Kate that we had found out that Audrey had a boo-boo like the bunny\u2019s boo-boo, and we let the girls put Band-aids over the bunny\u2019s heart, and ask us questions.\u00a0 We\u2019d already set up her crib at this time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBasically they said, \u201cWill she be coming home?\u201d\u00a0 We just said, \u201cGod is able to do whatever He chooses, and we will continue to have hope in that, till we can\u2019t have hope in her surviving any more.\u00a0 But, some very smart people have told us that\u2019s probably not going to happen.\u00a0 So, we need to live life with her now.\u00a0 So, what do you want to do with her?\u201d\u00a0 Ellie said I want to show her Cinderella\u2019s castle. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At Disney World.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At Disney World.\u00a0 So, we booked a flight, went out and we have pictures of Ellie talking to my stomach, and pointing at the castle and saying, \u201cI told you Audrey, I told you.\u00a0 Look at this!\u201d\u00a0 I have rolls of film of my stomach at the ballet, and at the park, and everywhere I gave them cameras and said, \u201cLet\u2019s take pictures.\u00a0 This is the time we have with her.\u201d\u00a0 So, we lived a lot of life with her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Where did you get that?\u00a0 I guess developmental psychology may have helped prepare you for some of that.\u00a0 Huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I really think it did, which excites my dad, because I\u2019m actually using my degree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019ll tell you what Angie had such natural intuition, and I think her studies, her background, was incredibly helpful, because I didn\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 There was always something, just like with the bunny, it was a great picture of how to show the kids that she\u2019s sick.\u00a0 To literally put those Band-aids on, they could relate to that.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t try to hide anything from them.\u00a0 There were some things they obviously couldn\u2019t understand.\u00a0 But, especially Angie, was so good at getting them involved and taking them through the process.\u00a0 She did an incredible job with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The apostle Paul says, \u201cBut now abide faith, hope and love.\u201d\u00a0 You experienced all three at a profound level.\u00a0 There\u2019s no way to describe how you experienced that in such a brief period of time.\u00a0 Hope is an interesting thing though.\u00a0 Were you hoping, even up until the birth that Audrey was going to be OK?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I was.\u00a0 I genuinely believed that if it was His will, He could heal her.\u00a0 I do think it\u2019s important to say, and I try and talk about this whenever I do interviews.\u00a0 Audrey\u2019s diagnosis did not stay the same throughout my pregnancy.\u00a0 Some of the things that they said could not medically happen did happen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of the original diagnoses they said, she\u2019ll continue to get more cysts on her kidneys, or this will continue to happen, or she doesn\u2019t have a bladder, she doesn\u2019t have this.\u00a0 We went back for an ultrasound several weeks later, and the technician just stared at me.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know what to say.\u00a0 She said, \u201cI see on the report what they\u2019ve said, but this is her bladder.\u00a0 It\u2019s right here.\u00a0 Here\u2019s this.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what was happening in my womb, but I know what they saw the first time, and I know what they saw later.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe details are up to the Lord.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what happened in that time period, but it certainly strengthened in me the feeling that God always give us an opportunity to hope, always.\u00a0 In that moment, I felt like He was saying, \u201cYou have no idea what\u2019s going on, don\u2019t make assumptions about what my will is.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Todd, I want to ask you a tough question here.\u00a0 Because, as a father you were wanting to hope too.\u00a0 But as a husband, you are called to care for your wife, to nourish and cherish her.\u00a0 And you\u2019re watching your wife\u2019s hope grow.\u00a0 As a man, you could segment this out a bit differently than a mom does.\u00a0 How did you express love to her, and attempt to guard her heart from the disappointment that you knew could truly happen the day Audrey was born.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Todd:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s a great question.\u00a0 I had hope, I don\u2019t think I had the hope that Angie had.\u00a0 But, I believed fervently that God could heal her.\u00a0 But, as far as the reality of it goes, I was always looking at, \u201cOK, when Audrey is born, what do we do after that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, there were a lot of times where she would tell me what she thought, and I was always happy to listen to that.\u00a0 In myself I was even going, \u201cLord, I wish I could believe that much.\u00a0 I do believe you can heal her, but we don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think her hope, to me, was always healthy.\u00a0 It was never over the top where she got carried away with it.\u00a0 Maybe a couple of times I would jump in and say, \u201cBut we also know the reality of what will probably happen,\u201d which she knew.\u00a0 So, I let her believe that way, because, there was a reality that that really could happen.\u00a0 I never thought she got to the point where it was over the top, or I would have to jump in and go, \u201cYes but, baby we don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to happen.\u201d\u00a0 We both, up to the point where she was born thought there was a real possibility.\u00a0 So, I think it was pretty healthy as far as what she believed would happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Someone has made the statement\u2014I thought of this quote when I was reading through your book, and was aware of your story, Angie\u2014they said, \u201cLife is not about waiting for the storm to pass.\u00a0 It\u2019s about learning how to dance in the rain.\u201d\u00a0 I have to admit a few moments ago as you were telling your story and I was listening to your heart hope, I became a papa again.\u00a0 I thought about caring for my daughter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a man you can\u2019t fix it.\u00a0 There is no fixing certain things.\u00a0 We have powers, but we don\u2019t possess the ability to reverse a process that, who knows why that occurred.\u00a0 But, we do know God uses these matters in our lives to produce faith, the knowledge of Him and perseverance.\u00a0 Today, you know Him at a level you would never have known Him at, had you not been through this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Angie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s Audrey\u2019s gift, and her legacy.\u00a0 Her gift to you and the legacy of her life is that she brought you deeper in your relationship with her creator, and with your Lord and your master.\u00a0 And, whatever His purpose or His design, that\u2019s a part of the gift that has been given to you and the gift that you shared with us.\u00a0 Not only today on the program but in the book you\u2019ve written called <em>I Will Carry You:<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy.<\/em>\u00a0 I know as you\u2019ve shared this story with tens of thousands of people, God has used it powerfully to minister to a lot of folks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow that the book is available, that message is going out even farther.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got it in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center if our listeners are interested in getting a copy, they can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 There\u2019s also information there about the book that Barbara Rainey and Rebecca Rainey Mutz have written called, <em>A Symphony in the Dark<\/em>, that tells a similar story to the one that you\u2019ve shared, the story of the birth of Molly Mutz and her seven days of life before God took her home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get more information about both of those books again at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call us at, 1-800-FL-TODAY for more information about those resources.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just quickly let our listeners know that you guys are going to be joining with us next February.\u00a0 FamilyLife is hosting a week-long Valentine\u2019s Week marriage cruise, the FamilyLife Love Like You Mean It Cruise; it\u2019s going to be in the Caribbean in February.\u00a0 <em>Selah<\/em> is going to be there singing Dennis and Barbara are going to be on the cruise speaking, I\u2019m going to be on with my wife Mary Ann.\u00a0 Crawford and Karen Loritts are going to be joining us, others are going to be along, and it\u2019s going to be a great week.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s more information online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and ask about the Love Like You Mean It Cruise, and we hope many of our listeners will come aboard and set sail with us.\u00a0 We\u2019re looking forward to a great week together where we can focus on building stronger marriages, and have some fun at the same time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore we wrap up here today, let me remind you, we\u2019ve got just a few days left in the months of May, which means just a few days left for us to try to rally the troops to help with the matching gift challenge that we received in the month of May.\u00a0 We had some friends who pledged to match every donation we receive on a on a dollar-for-dollar basis up to a total of now\u2014more than $350,000 that\u2019s been pledged.\u00a0 We are trying to take full advantage of this matching gift before the month ends.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo be able to do that we need as many listeners as we can rally to do whatever you can do.\u00a0 If it\u2019s $10, or $20, or $30 or $40, whatever you can do.\u00a0 If it is $50 or $100 or $200 or whatever.\u00a0 Your donation is going to be matched dollar-for-dollar and you are going to be moving us one step closer to being able to, as I said, take advantage of this matching gift pledge that some friends have made.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if you can make a donation online today at FamilyLifeToday.com or by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY, we would appreciate it.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us, your prayers for us, and we appreciate you listening to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We really count that as a privilege as well. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that in mind, we hope you can be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear the conclusion of what Todd and Angie Smith have been here sharing with us this week.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302047","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302047"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302047"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302047"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302047"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302047"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302047"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302047"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}