{"id":302041,"date":"2010-05-19T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-05-19T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/connecting-with-your-kids\/"},"modified":"2010-05-19T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-05-19T15:00:00","slug":"connecting-with-your-kids","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/connecting-with-your-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Connecting With Your Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How many times does your family eat dinner together?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-05-19.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"27.18M","filesize_raw":"28502656","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2870],"tags":[4928,4954,4953,2588,4817],"podcast_series":[7727],"cwp_profile":[9197],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302041","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-tweens","tag-high-school","tag-junior-high","tag-middle-school","tag-teens","tag-tweens","podcast_series-season-of-change","cwp_profile-rebecca-ingram-powell","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302041\/connecting-with-your-kids","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302041\/connecting-with-your-kids","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"XtzTOqKZJX\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/connecting-with-your-kids\/\">Connecting With Your Kids<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/connecting-with-your-kids\/embed\/#?secret=XtzTOqKZJX\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Connecting With Your Kids&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"XtzTOqKZJX\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"How many times does your family eat dinner together?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-05-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You hear a lot about young people during the middle-school years who start going out, or start going together.\u00a0 How good an idea is that?\u00a0 Rebecca Ingram Powell thinks it\u2019s a mistake.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I have never wanted my children to be going out at twelve and thirteen years old.\u00a0 I just think it\u2019s wrong for us to sanction those relationships\u2014for us to put a stamp of approval on it by saying, \u201cWho are you sweet on?\u201d and \u201cWho is your boyfriend?\u201d\u00a0 I just think it\u2019s nuts.\u00a0 Parents think that this is harmless, but I don\u2019t think it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday May 19th. Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about some wise parenting practices when your children are passing through the middle school years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, I ran cross-country in high school\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You\u2019ve said that many times on the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did you know I was also a sprinter on the track team?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You\u2019ve said that several times as well.\u00a0 You\u2019ve even given your times here on the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I have.\u00a0 I have been both a sprinter and a distance runner.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There are not many of those on the planet.\u00a0 You are a remarkable man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I was not good at either one\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Have I told you that recently?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you very much.\u00a0 The reason I bring it up is\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You can always tell when you\u2019re over the hill because you start calling to mind your accomplishments when you were really young.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>If you were to come to me today and say, which would you rather do again?\u00a0 Would you rather run long distances or would you rather run a sprint.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019d like to see you run a long distance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I would just like to go as quick and as short as I can.\u00a0 I bring that up because, when it comes to parenting\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Parenting is not a sprint.\u00a0 It is a marathon.\u00a0 And, I think there is a point\u2014well there are probably several points, in the parenting marathon where you go, \u201cI would just like to pull off to the side of the road and rest, or maybe drop out of the race altogether.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, there\u2019s the wall that people hit when they run the marathon.\u00a0 There are several of them in parenting.\u00a0 I think the more children you have, the more of those walls you run into.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>When children get to the age, when they get to the middle-school years, they start to pull away, and they start to act like, \u201cI\u2019ve got it.\u00a0 I can take care of this.\u00a0 I don\u2019t need you.\u201d\u00a0 There are some moms and dads that think, \u201cWell, it would be a nice break if I could just unplug and let you take it from here.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a big mistake to make.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And, anybody who has watched a marathon race knows that there are always people lining the route, cheering them on, giving them refreshments, maybe some juice and a little energy along the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We have some energy bars today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We do.\u00a0 Rebecca Ingram Powell joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; she\u2019s the author of <em>Season of Change<\/em> which is a book just for parenting middle-school children.\u00a0 Rebecca, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you, it\u2019s great to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You like to cheer parents on.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You\u2019ve developed a ministry around that.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to let you do that today around three key issues.\u00a0 Number one:\u00a0 The family table, dinner time.\u00a0 Number two: Selecting friends in the middle school years, the Number three: Dating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, let\u2019s start with the family table.\u00a0 What is your advice for parents today around reserving time for dinner together?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Moms tell me often as their children enter the middle school years, it is so difficult.\u00a0 We thought it was difficult when we had toddlers, and little ones getting everyone to actually stay in their seat during the family dinner.\u00a0 But as they get older, there are so many different activities and things that are vying for their attention and for your schedule.\u00a0 So it is a little more difficult.\u00a0 However, it is so important that as moms and dads we take the time to make sure that we are eating together. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA study came out not too long ago that showed us the results of a family having dinner together.\u00a0 The more often you eat together as a family that is in direct disproportion (\u201cinversely proportional\u201d) to kids getting involved in drugs, alcohol, smoking and other negative behaviors.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In other words, if you have more time with the family there\u2019s less of a possibility or probability that you\u2019re going to do drugs or hang out with the groups of kids that do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>OK.\u00a0 Well, let me ask you.\u00a0 You have kids who are 17, 14, and 12\u2026?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Fifteen and twelve.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>17, 15 and 12 right now.\u00a0 In an average week, how many dinners together do you get at the Powell house?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>To be honest, right now during sports season, it is not always at our house.\u00a0 A lot of times our family table ends up being at a booth at Wendy\u2019s.\u00a0 But, we do our best to eat together.\u00a0 As far as how many times we\u2019ve eaten at home, I\u2019d say maybe twice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>OK, twice a week, maybe\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It just depends on the sports season.\u00a0 We gather around the family table, I would say, at least twice if not three times a week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>OK.\u00a0 If you\u2019re doing the Wendy\u2019s booth thing, which is OK, because you still get time together\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Then it goes up to more like four or five.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Here\u2019s the point. We\u2019re talking about intentional, purposeful, relational connectivity at a time when a lot of parents unplug from that relational connectivity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At meal time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The reason for meal times and dates together and all of this is to stay connected and involved.\u00a0 If you\u2019re not getting blocks of time like that with your kids, you\u2019re not going to hear what\u2019s going on in their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It gives you a chance to ask them the question and then listen.\u00a0 You have to be a good listener during that period of time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s probably my biggest fault.\u00a0 Well, OK I\u2019ve got a lot of faults.\u00a0 But, when it comes to communication, I have found it is hard as a parent to be a good listener because often we\u2019re very worried about what our response is going to be.\u00a0 So in the middle of a child saying something to me, I can be planning how I\u2019m going to respond, and I don\u2019t get anything that they said to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>My kids called me \u201cthe teaching daddy\u201d, \u201cthe teaching daddy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Was that a term of affection they were using?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It was not a warm fuzzy.\u00a0 Let\u2019s move onto the second area here.\u00a0 I want to read a verse to set this one up.\u00a0 This was one of my favorite verses to read in my sixth grade Sunday school class.\u00a0 1 Corinthians 15:33 \u201cDo not be deceived.\u201d\u2014that alone should be a wake-up call\u2014\u201cDo not be fooled, bad company ruins good morals.\u201d\u00a0 Friends either make or break the middle school years.\u00a0 What would be the one, two, maybe three best admonitions you would give a mom or a dad around their children selecting friends as they go through these years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, when my daughter was around eleven, she had a friend at church who came from a very different background.\u00a0 She was from a divorced home, but she had a Christian mom and stepfather on one side.\u00a0 On the other side she had a dad who was openly homosexual and living with his partner.\u00a0 So that was how her time was divided.\u00a0 Every other weekend she went to live with her daddy over the weekend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDanya and she were getting to be good friends.\u00a0 Danya came and asked me if she could spend the night.\u00a0 So, that little episode caused us to coin a new Powell family term which was, a \u201cspend-the-night friend.\u201d\u00a0 I had to explain to Danya that this little girl could not be a spend-the-night friend and here\u2019s why:\u00a0 when kids are at my house to spend-the-night I do not stay up all night, OK.\u00a0 I wish I could, I just can\u2019t.\u00a0 So eventually there\u2019s going to be unsupervised time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, this little girl loved her daddy, and he could do no wrong in her eyes. At the same time, I\u2019m trying to raise a kid here for whom sexuality and all those things are just now starting to become parts of our conversation.\u00a0 So, I knew that any unsupervised time was going to be suspicious to me concerning what this little girl might be talking about, and what kind of spin she was going to put on the truth.\u00a0 Not to say anything against her, it was just that environment that she was in.\u00a0 So while she was welcome at our home any time, as long as I was awake.\u00a0 She wasn\u2019t going to be a spend-the-night friend.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrom there, we were able to jump to different conversations about how your most intimate friends are going to be the ones who pour into your life and they\u2019re going to be like-minded and challenging you in your walk with Christ.\u00a0 Until my kids could understand that, I had to be the one to determine if that person was a spend-the-night friend or not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did that make you a bad guy at home?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know, that\u2019s OK.\u00a0 That\u2019s in my job description to be the bad guy.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t understood, but about five years later, this same little girl came to one of Danya\u2019s shows\u2014Danya is a musician\u2014and she came and asked me if she could come back home with us and spend the night.\u00a0 I said \u201cSure,\u201d because at that point I knew that my impressionable eleven-year-old had turned into a very influential sixteen-year-old.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You used a key word there in terms of \u201cimpressionable.\u201d\u00a0 We have to remember and we can get tricked on this as parents.\u00a0 An eleven-year-old or twelve-year-old, their critical thinking skills are not firmly in place, they are impressionable.\u00a0 They don\u2019t always seem like it.\u00a0 They may seem like they have their act together.\u00a0 But no, there are all kinds of new thoughts that are getting bounced their direction.\u00a0 This is where a mom or a dad like you were doing have got to be there on guard to help process some of those thoughts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well said, Bob.\u00a0 I would just say, it\u2019s the parent\u2019s responsibility to know when these impressionable children are growing up, and their minds are like sponges, to build some guardrails\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2026around his or her little life.\u00a0 You are the parent, they are not.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to move on to the next subject of dating or we\u2019re not going to have time here.\u00a0 We have to talk about this.\u00a0 What do parents need to know during the middle-school years as they are raising their children that are about to move into the dating years?\u00a0 Obviously they are not actually dating\u2014hopefully\u2014when they\u2019re in the sixth grade.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, here\u2019s the thing.\u00a0 When we think of dating, as an adult, I tend to think of dating as going out on a date.\u00a0 It implies an activity and time alone with a person of the opposite sex.\u00a0 That\u2019s one way to think about dating.\u00a0 But middle-school kids, think about dating as in, a sanctioned relationship with a person of the opposite sex in that \u201cI have said that I like you, and you have said that you like me\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u201cWe\u2019re a couple now.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u201c\u2026and now we\u2019re a couple, boyfriend and girlfriend.\u201d\u00a0 They use those terms, you\u2019re a couple or you\u2019re single.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It used to be when our kids were this age, \u201cWe\u2019re going out.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWe\u2019re going out as a couple.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Whether they were going anywhere or not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They weren\u2019t going anywhere.\u00a0 But they were an \u201citem,\u201d which is what you\u2019re saying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Right.\u00a0 Parents think that this is harmless, but I don\u2019t think it is.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never wanted my children to be \u201cgoing out\u201d at twelve and thirteen years old, because, once again, it\u2019s a relationship that is premature.\u00a0 What they don\u2019t understand is how dangerous it\u2019s going to become, because feelings escalate, hormones escalate, and things begin to happen.\u00a0 Well, as parents, I just think it\u2019s wrong for us to sanction those relationships.\u00a0 For us to put a stamp of approval on it by saying, \u201cWho are you sweet on?\u201d\u00a0 and\u00a0 \u201cWho is your boyfriend?\u201d I just think it\u2019s nuts.\u00a0 I think this is something that can really get me on a roll.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How do you feel about this Rebecca?\u00a0 How do you really feel about this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think it\u2019s wrong!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You\u2019ve seen moms who get all excited about their little nine-year-old.\u00a0 She likes so-and-so, he likes her.\u00a0 It\u2019s so cute, it seems so innocent and sweet and harmless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, here again we\u2019ve got the data to back it up.\u00a0 Josh McDowell did a study years ago that is still in place today.\u00a0 The younger a child begins to \u201cdate\u201d\u2014not getting in a car\u2014but saying \u201cI\u2019m in a relationship\u201d the earlier they are going to have sex.\u00a0 That\u2019s the bottom line.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Let\u2019s move ahead from your nine-year-old to your thirteen-year-old.\u00a0 Your thirteen-year-old kind of likes this girl.\u00a0 He\u2019s kind of sweet on her, and she likes him and it\u2019s pretty nice, and you can, as a mom, say \u201cStop that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, you can.\u00a0 Here\u2019s what we\u2019ve done.\u00a0 What I\u2019ve challenged my kids to do is:\u00a0 if they like somebody, don\u2019t tell them.\u00a0 Because, odds are, tomorrow or next week you\u2019re not going to like them.\u00a0 It has happened over and over again.\u00a0 So they can like somebody secretly, and then not break their heart.\u00a0 Because, that is what it comes down to.\u00a0 It is a heart thing.\u00a0 It\u2019s protecting somebody else\u2019s emotions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso what we\u2019ve told our kids over and over is, you need to keep your focus on the Lord, and what he wants you to do.\u00a0 Because there is a person out there for you; and what if it\u2019s not that little girl or that little boy?\u00a0 I say \u201clittle\u201d because I\u2019m old, but you know what I mean.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And, we\u2019re talking about middle-school kids.\u00a0 Let me jump ahead to your seventeen-year-old.\u00a0 Is it time now for her to go ahead and open her eyes, and maybe confess something?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Confess something?\u00a0 What do you mean?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, what are you saying \u201cLippy\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Confess that she\u2019s got a crush on them.\u00a0 Go up to a boy and say\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Do you believe in flirting?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No.\u00a0 It depends.\u00a0 Wait a minutes, let\u2019s do that again.\u00a0 (All laugh)\u00a0 You\u00a0 need to give me some definitions here.\u00a0 Flirting, can get dangerous.\u00a0 Once again, because you\u2019re playing with people\u2019s hearts.\u00a0 So, no we don\u2019t encourage flirting.\u00a0 But as far as my seventeen-year-old who\u2019s almost eighteen, she will be opening her eyes soon, as the Lord leads.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Does she believe it\u2019s OK for her to open her eyes?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She believes that she\u2019ll do that when the Lord tells her to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I wonder, should we call?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Danya?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Danya right now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Just find out what\u2019s going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There\u2019s nothing like an eyewitness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We can do this.\u00a0 Are you OK with this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Rebecca is alright with it.\u00a0 Danya?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Have you been listening to this Danya?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, just for the past thirty seconds to a minute.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Hi baby.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Hi mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Nice to have you one with your mom here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We\u2019ve been talking about boy\/girl relationships and about the secret relationships.\u00a0 You know what I\u2019m talking about?\u00a0 How you can have a secret crush on somebody and you just don\u2019t tell them about it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did you ever do that with your mom and dad?\u00a0 Did you ever have a guy you really really liked you never told them about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, I think I told them every single time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Really?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There haven\u2019t been that many.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>In the middle school years?\u00a0 I mean you\u2019d see guys who you thought were cute guys, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Cute guys, yes.\u00a0 But you can get to know a middle-school guy for long enough you find out that he is disgusting on the inside.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Bob, Dennis, Rebecca laugh)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But you don\u2019t think that when you\u2019re thirteen Danya.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, they are cute.\u00a0 It\u2019s just that, it gets to a point where you have to decide what\u2019s really your goal in life?\u00a0 What\u2019s really your focus?\u00a0 I already had my focus when I was thirteen.\u00a0 I already knew what I wanted to do and what I thought God was calling me to do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And it didn\u2019t involve thirteen-year-old boys.\u00a0 Huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, not really.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>When do you think it\u2019s going to be OK for your eyes to open, and your heart to thaw out?\u00a0 To be attracted to\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>To take a second look.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think that the most important thing for me to do right now is not be opposed to having close friendships with boys, in the sense that it\u2019s OK to hang out with them.\u00a0 It\u2019s OK to spend time with mixed groups\u2014hanging out with girls and guys, and becoming friends with boys.\u00a0 I definitely don\u2019t want to shut them out, and ignore them.\u00a0 I think that I can really get to know them a lot better as friends because I\u2019m not worried about impressing them necessarily, and they\u2019re not worried about impressing me.\u00a0 So I get to see who they really are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So what\u2019s the most important thing you\u2019re looking for in a young man?\u00a0 What has your mom taught you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The most important thing is how passionate he is about his faith and what he believes in.\u00a0 There have definitely been some guy friends of mine who were very good-looking, but were not focused on their faith and didn\u2019t really care as much about what God thought of them as I hoped they would care what God thought of them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Danya, I want to know what advice you would give to the parents of middle-schoolers about this whole relationship thing.\u00a0 Let\u2019s say there\u2019s a mom who is listening right now and her thirteen-year-old daughter is just boy crazy.\u00a0 Every week it\u2019s a different boy that she\u2019s got a crush on, and she\u2019s saying, \u201cOh Mom he\u2019s so cute and I like him so much!\u201d\u00a0 What would you tell the mom to do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What my mom did whenever I came to her with a boy that I liked, she would first tell me to pray about it.\u00a0 That was the most important thing, to pray about it.\u00a0 She would really listen to me when I would talk to her about a boy that I had a crush on, or a boy that I thought was cute.\u00a0 That was so important, because if she had shut me out or if she had said, \u201cNo you can\u2019t, end of conversation.\u201d\u00a0 Then I would have felt tempted to go ahead and do it.\u00a0 But, because she listened to me, and spent time, and talked with me about it, it really helped me figure out the feelings.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was able to understand what I was going through.\u00a0 It\u2019s really important.\u00a0 It was important for me to wait a little while and see if I really did like a boy, or if it was just a passing crush.\u00a0 You can have a crush on a boy and it will go away, then your heart is not broken, and their heart is not broken, because you went out on a limb.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Your mom needs a tissue here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Aww\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Your dad is grinning and beaming from one ear to the other, both heads are nodding and you\u2019ve made their day, trust me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, that\u2019s\u2026\u00a0 That\u2019s kind of made my day.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t expecting a phone call.\u00a0 This is great.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019ve got one last question for you.\u00a0 You have been a great sport to allow us to interrupt your day and ask you some really tough questions.\u00a0 You\u2019ve handled them better than a lot of adults we\u2019ve interviewed here.\u00a0 My last question for you, on your mom\u2019s book, there\u2019s a pair of tennis shoes\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>High top, Converses?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>High top, black Converses with blue, pink, white and yellow striped socks.\u00a0 Are those your legs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They are not my legs in those pictures.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You\u2019ve been a good sport, thanks for joining us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you sweetie.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Danya:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>See you Mom, love you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I love you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think it\u2019s critical for parents to hear throughout this whole conversation is you have to stay connected.\u00a0 You have to stay in there.\u00a0 You have to keep your ears open and you have to listen when your daughter comes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Then, when you hear something like Rebecca and Rich just heard from their daughter, you just go\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u201cYes!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \u201cI have no greater joy than this,\u201d 3 John 4, \u201cthan to hear my children walking in the Truth.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s the goal.\u00a0 A lot of parents just heard a young lady articulate what it needs to sound like, and what it ought to look like.\u00a0 It is possible.\u00a0 Rebecca, I want to thank you\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2026for sharing your stories.\u00a0 I really think this is going to be a great resource for a lot of parents.\u00a0 As their kids move toward the middle-school years.\u00a0 Thanks for your ministry, and thanks for being with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you.\u00a0 It\u2019s been great to be with you, and \u201cLippy\u201d.\u00a0 (Dennis and Rebecca laugh.)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Man!\u00a0 I am sorry I brought that up.\u00a0 What we are hoping that a lot of parents are going to do in the days to come is to get a copy of your book and get a copy of the <em>Passport to Purity<\/em>\u00ae material that we\u2019ve put together, and really be intentional about this transition in a child\u2019s life.\u00a0 It\u2019s the beginning of adolescence, everything starts to change, the school environment changes.\u00a0 Being proactive and playing offense rather than defense is a great strategy for moms and dads.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can get a copy of Rebecca\u2019s book <em>Season of Change<\/em> by going to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Again the website, FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call, 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Also ask about the <em>Passport to Purity<\/em>\u00ae material for taking your son or daughter off for a weekend to get them ready for all that\u2019s coming in adolescence.\u00a0 Again, there\u2019s information at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call, 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 1-800 F as in \u201cfamily\u201d L as in \u201clife\u201d and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 We can make arrangements to have the resources you need sent to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also are hoping that many of our listeners this month will pitch in and help out.\u00a0 We\u2019ve had some friends of the ministry who have come forward and said, \u201cWe want to provide an incentive for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to help support the ministry.\u201d\u00a0 So what they\u2019ve agreed to do is to make pledges toward a matching gift fund.\u00a0 They\u2019ve agreed that they will match every donation we receive during the month of May on a dollar-for-dollar basis up to a total of\u2014now\u2014more than $300,000.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn order for us to take advantage of those pledges, to cash in on them, we have to have <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners who go online or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cWe want to help.\u201d\u00a0 Make a $10, $20, $50, $100 dollar donation or whatever you\u2019re able to do, knowing that donation is going to be matched dollar-for-dollar.\u00a0 So, we\u2019re just coming to our listeners saying, would you help us out?\u00a0 Would you go to FamilyLifeToday.com make a donation online, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 Help <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> continue on this station and on our network of stations all across the country by making a donation this month of any amount.\u00a0 We hope you\u2019ll consider doing that and we want to say thanks in advance for whatever you\u2019re able to do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to join us back tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear a powerful message from Dr. Crawford Loritts on the subject of prayer.\u00a0 That\u2019s coming up tomorrow; I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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