{"id":302016,"date":"2010-04-16T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-04-16T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/knowing-gods-will-for-marriage-part-2\/"},"modified":"2010-04-16T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-04-16T15:00:00","slug":"knowing-gods-will-for-marriage-part-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/knowing-gods-will-for-marriage-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Knowing God&#8217;s Will for Marriage, Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dennis Rainey talks about the covenant of marriage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-04-16.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.41M","filesize_raw":"23501158","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809],"tags":[4690,4021],"podcast_series":[7721],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302016","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","tag-covenant-marriage","tag-vows","podcast_series-knowing-gods-will-for-marriage","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302016\/knowing-gods-will-for-marriage-part-2","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302016\/knowing-gods-will-for-marriage-part-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"pM8I0vxLWB\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/knowing-gods-will-for-marriage-part-2\/\">Knowing God&#8217;s Will for Marriage, Part 2<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/knowing-gods-will-for-marriage-part-2\/embed\/#?secret=pM8I0vxLWB\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Knowing God&#8217;s Will for Marriage, Part 2&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"pM8I0vxLWB\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Dennis Rainey talks about the covenant of marriage.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-04-16.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>If by chance, there is someone out here who is playing church and knows they\u2019re not a Christian, don\u2019t enter into that relationship knowing that you\u2019re putting on the guise of Christianity or \u201cspirituality,\u201d so that you can get this woman or this man into this union called marriage, because, my friend, you are headed for serious conflict.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday April 16<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear today why along with all other kinds of relational compatibility, spiritual compatibility is essential.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 Some of our listeners, they were hearing you earlier encourage women to call for the question.\u00a0 If a woman who\u2019s in a dating relationship with a guy and it\u2019s kind of gone on for a while, and nothing\u2019s happened\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019m not saying it\u2019s been a long dating relationship, but the earth\u2019s crust was not fully hardened when they first started dating.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I will never forget, sitting at a dinner table one night with these couples.\u00a0 We were just getting to know one another.\u00a0 So I asked the question around the table, \u201cHow did you get engaged?\u201d\u00a0 I got to this one guy and I said \u201cHow did you get engaged?\u201d\u00a0 And he said, well, I had a deadline.\u00a0 So I finally asked my wife to marry me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cWhat do you mean you had a deadline?\u201d\u00a0 He said, I was thirty years old\u2014I\u2019d been dating my wife for about three or four months, and she came to me and she said, \u2018You know, I am not interested in a dating relationship.\u00a0 I am interested in finding the person that God would have me marry.\u00a0 So I\u2019ll tell you what.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got six months to figure this out.\u00a0 If I\u2019m not the person, we\u2019ll move on.\u00a0 If I am, then you need to propose and I\u2019ll consider the proposal.\u00a0 But\u2026\u201d she said, \u201cthe clock\u2019s running, you\u2019ve got six months.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Good for her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And he said if she had not done that, he would have gone on for years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Sure.\u00a0 You know, what happens is in a lot of these single dating relationships\u2014and I\u2019m not saying all, and I\u2019m not saying all of what I\u2019m about to describe occurs within the Christian community, but far too much of it does\u2014they sample some of the privileges of marriages and I\u2019m speaking of emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy.\u00a0 What\u2019s the reason to get married? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>When your girlfriend is coming over and doing the laundry for you?\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Exactly.\u00a0 I think after the age of\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014twenty two, twenty five, somewhere in that range, somewhere in there, recreational dating just to date, or just to get to know the opposite sex, I think it has to come to a conclusion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt some point, you\u2019ve got to decide \u201cAm I in need of someone of the opposite sex?\u00a0 Am I in need of a spouse and a helper as a young man?\u201d\u00a0 If I am then I need to pursue, I need to get off the fence, I need to pursue a young lady, and I don\u2019t need to define the relationship with my lips\u2014as in kissing\u2014I need to define it with words and with clarity of commitment. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReally what we\u2019re listening to, or what we\u2019re about to listen to here, is a message I gave a number of years ago at a Weekend To Remember\u00ae marriage conference where I talked to these young people.\u00a0 All either engaged or contemplating engagement, about how they could know they\u2019re marrying the right person.\u00a0 If you haven\u2019t heard Part One of this message, I wouldn\u2019t listen to today\u2019s part two and make any decisions about your relationships without listening to Part One.\u00a0 But, put them together, and I\u2019ll tell you, it\u2019s a good one-two-punch.\u00a0 It\u2019ll give you a process and a perspective for how you make the decision of trusting God that you\u2019re marrying the right person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Part One and Part Two are both available online at FamilyLifeToday.com, I was just with Dr. Al Mohler at Southern Seminary and he\u2019d move your date for dating back to maybe 19 or 20.\u00a0 Forget this 22 or 25 stuff.\u00a0 He says it\u2019s time to grow up young men.\u00a0 Don\u2019t keep playing around if you\u2019re not serious about the whole deal.\u00a0 But, let\u2019s dive in.\u00a0 This is part two of Dennis\u2019s message on how to know if this is God\u2019s will for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Do you both have a heart for God?\u00a0 Do you both have a heart for God?\u00a0 Some of you may be thinking, \u201cHey, he doesn\u2019t really have a heart for God yet, but I\u2019m going to reform him.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to work on him\u201d?\u00a0 I would like to promise you, my friends, marriage is an institution, but it was never intended to be a reformatory.\u00a0 If they don\u2019t have a heart for God now, don\u2019t take that responsibility upon you to change that other person\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother key question is what is the advice of wise counselors?\u00a0 What is the advice of wise counselors\u2026mature, reliable Christians who know you both well?\u00a0 Have you gone to one?\u00a0 Look at Proverbs 11:14 in your notes.\u00a0 Where there is no guidance, what happens?\u00a0 The people fall.\u00a0 But look what happens in the abundance of counselors:\u00a0 There is victory.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t think you need to run to and fro and talk to 153 people about this deal, but I do think you need to talk to two or three people who have a godly perspective of life and of marriage and will tell you what you need to hear, not join sides with you and tell you what you want to hear.\u00a0 But if you go to wise counselors, be willing to heed their advice.\u00a0 And if they say to back off and give your relationship some time, then trust the fact that God may be saying something to you through those people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, let me give you the following, which will provide help in affirming God\u2019s will; top of page 57.\u00a0 These are simply some guidelines I\u2019m going to take you through; first of all, just a little context and then quickly some steps to walk through in making this decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all, letter A.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve been on the fence for a period of time, it may be due to several reasons.\u00a0 What are those reasons?\u00a0 First of all, you may have a history of indecision, as I\u2019ve said.\u00a0 You\u2019ve decided not to decide.\u00a0 Both feet are firmly planted in mid-air.\u00a0 You\u2019re riding the fence and it may be time for some of you to get off the fence and make a commitment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecond, you may fear making a commitment.\u00a0 That\u2019s why you\u2019re on the fence.\u00a0 You\u2019re scared because of the context of life that you see around you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd third, perhaps you\u2019re on the fence and God is leading you apart, and you\u2019re scared to break it off because there\u2019s so much security in this relationship, but I can\u2019t break it off.\u00a0 If that\u2019s the case, after you go through all this, would you do your friend a favor and do yourself a favor?\u00a0 Don\u2019t keep on going on forever and ever and ever and playing games, because there are a lot of couples who do this.\u00a0 They just keep on dating forever and ever, and they never want to step out and make the commitment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, let\u2019s look at a suggested project for you, point B.\u00a0 Both of you should get alone with God for 48 hours to help confirm God\u2019s will.\u00a0 The following steps are suggested guidelines for your time.\u00a0 You get alone separately and you work through these projects and these steps individually.\u00a0 Confess your sins.\u00a0 Humble yourself before God.\u00a0 Relinquish all rights of your life to God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPsalm 66:18 warns us:\u00a0 \u201cIf I regard wickedness in my heart, the Lord will not hear.\u201d\u00a0 Your prayer of seeking him for a relationship called marriage; your prayers get no higher than the ceiling.\u00a0 Are you right with God?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStep two:\u00a0 Write out a list of all your fears.\u00a0 This is a good one.\u00a0 Do you know how many pages of things I feared when I was single?\u00a0 Four pages, single-spaced.\u00a0 I had fears about what kind of husband I would be, whether I\u2019d be a good father, whether she would get fat kneecaps, whether we\u2019d both become ugly, disfigured in a car wreck; I mean, all the strange fears of a relationship\u2026Afraid she wouldn\u2019t like me, I wouldn\u2019t be a good lover.\u00a0 I mean, on and on and on, I had fears.\u00a0 Some of them were hilarious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI took that list and wrote across it, \u201c1 John 4.\u00a0 Perfect love casts out all fear.\u201d\u00a0 And it\u2019s inside Barbara\u2019s wedding ring, because both of us had a lot of fears about our marriage.\u00a0 But the realization\u2026and listen carefully\u2026the realization that God in heaven loved us individually enough to provide the other person for us began to cast out that fear as we began to experience that from one another.\u00a0 As I loved Barbara, her fears were cast out.\u00a0 And as she loved me, my fears were cast out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStep three:\u00a0 Confess those fears as sin and acknowledge them to God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStep four:\u00a0 Commit to God to accept or reject the other as God\u2019s provision for your needs.\u00a0 And if you can\u2019t receive them, then let them go.\u00a0 Don\u2019t just keep on going.\u00a0 One guy from a city south of here had been dating a young lady for six years.\u00a0 He called me on the phone.\u00a0 He\u2019d been to our conference two or three times.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe couldn\u2019t make a decision, he told me.\u00a0 And I informed him over the phone, \u201cIt is not correct to say you can\u2019t make a decision.\u00a0 It is true that you will not make a decision.\u00a0 You\u2019re not willing to either get with the program and carry her off to the castle or break off the relationship and let her go.\u201d\u00a0 And if you can\u2019t marry her, guys, and carry her off to the castle and love her with that love that casts out all fear, then do her a favor and let her go and stop burning daylight and wasting time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStep five:\u00a0 Write out that commitment to God that he confirms in your heart.\u00a0 And I\u2019ve just got one word written out beside this.\u00a0 The word is \u201cvow\u201d\u2026v-o-w.\u00a0 Write out that commitment to God.\u00a0 And then you know what you can do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRead this to your mate in your wedding ceremony, and jar a few people who come to these ceremonies, who come and they put their brain in neutral and it\u2019s the 13<sup>th<\/sup> wedding they\u2019ve been to this spring, and jar them with something from the heart rather than just this traditional stuff that has lost a lot of its meaning.\u00a0 Let them in on the inside of your commitment to this man or this woman that God has impressed upon your heart.\u00a0 Oh, that\u2019s beautiful.\u00a0 You may have a hard time.\u00a0 You may cry.\u00a0 That\u2019d be good, because our culture needs to see that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStep six:\u00a0 Then, after you make this decision to marry or to release, hold your decision privately for 24 hours, allowing God to confirm it with His peace.\u00a0 Tell no one.\u00a0 Get away for a weekend.\u00a0 Make your decision on Saturday.\u00a0 Keep it to yourself until Sunday night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, step seven, on Sunday night tell one close friend, which allows him or her to confirm your decision and hold you accountable.\u00a0 Just go to that person and say, \u201cHey, I need you to hold me accountable for this decision.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been off and on and hot and cold with this relationship, and I need you to help me here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStep eight:\u00a0 Then go and verbalize your decision to your potential mate or your ex friend.\u00a0 Now, that\u2019s a sad thing to say, but in some situations that is the right thing to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPoint C:\u00a0 After the decision has been made it is important to protect yourself and your potential mate from backing down on your commitment.\u00a0 A lot of people get really scared at this point.\u00a0 What do you do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, look at this.\u00a0 Number one, once God has directed you, procrastination can lead you back into indecisiveness.\u00a0 Go ahead and verbalize your commitment to your mate.\u00a0 Move out.\u00a0 Lay it on the line.\u00a0 Make a commitment.\u00a0 Verbalize it.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be freeing and liberating as you do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, if you decide it is not God\u2019s will for you to marry, it is essential that you make a clean break.\u00a0 Letter A, we strongly suggest that there be no communication, if you break it off, for six months\u2026no letters, no phone calls, no late-night phone call when you get lonely and you\u2019re having a pity party and no one will come.\u00a0 You know that he knows you and he\u2019ll know how to meet your needs.\u00a0 And you call him up and he\u2019s just beginning to heal in his heart, and then your phone call comes and it just spins him off into all kinds of emotional turmoil.\u00a0 Don\u2019t call.\u00a0 This is a suggestion so your hearts can heal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPoint B:\u00a0 If there\u2019s a question that God is leading you back together, then wise counsel should be sought as a protection before re-establishing contact.\u00a0 That\u2019s the purpose of the accountability that was back up in step seven of the process.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because sometimes we can begin to think, \u201cWell, I made a mistake here to let that person go, and I need to go back and let them know that I made a mistake.\u00a0 I want to marry him.\u201d Or \u201cI want to marry her.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of us are fickle.\u00a0 We go back and forth on this marriage commitment.\u00a0 So before you call them up and send it off into turmoil again, go to the friend and bounce your idea off of them.\u00a0 And give some time here and some perspective to occur.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to tell you a story at the end of this hour of a couple who did that and how it worked out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPoint three:\u00a0 If you decide it is God\u2019s will for you to marry, it is important to protect yourself from doubts.\u00a0 Look at this.\u00a0 Bring doubts out into the open.\u00a0 Discuss them and deal with them as they arise.\u00a0 If his love is not strong enough, lady, to deal with your doubts, then how will he be able to deal with your real fears after marriage?\u00a0 Hey, if he really loves you unconditionally, then those doubts, hey, they may hurt a little bit.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s okay, sweetheart.\u00a0 We\u2019ll work this through.\u00a0 Tell me more of what you\u2019re feeling.\u201d\u00a0 She may need some more reassurance there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPoint B:\u00a0 Become accountable to others for your decision.\u00a0 That\u2019ll protect you from doubts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd point C:\u00a0 If one is totally overwhelmed with doubts that he or she cannot control and the Lord does not remove them, the only option is to break the relationship.\u00a0 A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.\u00a0 Boy, that\u2019s a great statement\u2026far, far more important than any of you in this room realize.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPoint D:\u00a0 Remember, God\u2019s will is ultimately known by faith.\u00a0 There\u2019s only one way to know God\u2019s will.\u00a0 It\u2019s by faith.\u00a0 And without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is the rewarder of those who seek Him; Hebrews 11:6.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA young couple came to me a number of years ago to get married.\u00a0 He was a lawyer, she was a CPA; a delightful couple.\u00a0 He knew he loved her and she was very uncertain.\u00a0 I gave them the assignment you\u2019ve gotten:\u00a0 \u201cGet alone, separately.\u00a0 Come back in my office on Monday morning and tell me your decision.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I knew when she walked through the door we were in trouble.\u00a0 He came in.\u00a0 His face was glowing.\u00a0 She came in.\u00a0 She was looking at the floor.\u00a0 The young lady looked at me.\u00a0 She said, \u201cI can\u2019t marry him.\u00a0 I don\u2019t believe it\u2019s right.\u00a0 I don\u2019t believe it\u2019s God\u2019s will.\u201d\u00a0 I looked at him and I said, \u201cBob, what did you decide?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cI\u2019ve got to marry her.\u00a0 She\u2019s the woman.\u00a0 I\u2019m convinced.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, it takes two to get married, doesn\u2019t it?\u00a0 We didn\u2019t have a marriage there.\u00a0 So I instructed both of them, no calls, no letters, no phone calls, no communication for six months, and asked them to be accountable to me before either one of them made contact with the other.\u00a0 At the end of about two and a half months, I ran into him downtown.\u00a0 I said, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cBoy, my heart aches.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cBut to get over her, I\u2019ve buried her six feet deep, and I will get over her.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwo days later I got a phone call.\u00a0 It was her.\u00a0 I\u2019ll call her Cindy.\u00a0 Cindy was on the phone and she said, \u201cDennis, I\u2019ve got to talk to you.\u00a0 I\u2019ve made a mistake.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cNo, no, Cindy, you haven\u2019t made a mistake.\u00a0 You made the right choice.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cNo, you don\u2019t understand.\u00a0 I made a mistake.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cNo, you did the right thing.\u201d\u00a0 I went back through the whole thing.\u00a0 She says, \u201cDennis, I\u2019ll buy you lunch.\u00a0 Will you talk?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cOkay.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we were at lunch together, and she began to go through the process of how she had come to grips with her aloneness needs for this man and how she realized how she really, truly needed him and wanted to accept him as God\u2019s provision for her needs.\u00a0 And I played the devil\u2019s advocate over lunch and pestered her and pounded her with questions, and she answered every one.\u00a0 And by the end of that time, I felt really good that she ought to make some contact with him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I told her at the end of lunch\u2026I said, \u201cWe\u2019ve got a problem.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cOh, really?\u00a0 What\u2019s that?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cYou\u2019re six feet deep.\u201d\u00a0 So I suggested she go to a hardware store and buy a shovel, which she did.\u00a0 And when he got off work that day, there was Cindy, leaning up against the car with a shovel in her hand and she said, \u201cWhere do I start digging?\u201d\u00a0 Four months later they were married.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, the guys think that\u2019s a drippy story.\u00a0 Today they\u2019re married, and they can look back to a decision that was made where they piled up some stones as a memorial of how God led them together to become one.\u00a0 And all I want for you all\u2026because the trouble will come\u2026is to be able to look back with your mind\u2019s eye to a decision that confirms that you did the right thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s good counsel.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to think there are a lot of single listeners who, as they\u2019ve listened to what you\u2019re talking about in both part one of this message and part two of this message, that it\u2019s pressed them to a place where they feel a little more confidence to press on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob I think we have a generation of single people today maybe even more than was true back then in 1993 when this message was first given, who are terribly afraid.\u00a0 Singles look at the landscape. They see the debris of divorce, they see people breaking up.\u00a0 They\u2019re afraid to place their wager on one person they\u2019re afraid they\u2019re going to miss the right one.\u00a0 They\u2019re just hedging.\u00a0 They\u2019re hedging their lives, their bets, their commitment and you just can\u2019t keep on dating.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMarriage is a decision of the will where you make a decision before God and by faith to say, \u201cYou\u2019re the one.\u00a0 I choose you.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to make a commitment to you that the only prenuptial agreement is that it\u2019s till death do us part.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \u201cFor better for worse\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \u201cIn sickness and in health\u2026\u201d\u00a0 There\u2019s no getting out of this because this is for keepers.\u00a0 This is for a lifetime.\u00a0 That\u2019s why we wanted to feature this broadcast.\u00a0 There are just a ton of folks making decision today, I think based on feelings, based on attraction, based on sexual connectedness, or based on fear and panic.\u00a0 They\u2019re afraid they\u2019re going to end up being single.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome singles need to understand that being married and lonely is really worse than being single and lonely.\u00a0 Here\u2019s my challenge to you: If you\u2019re in a dating relationship, and it\u2019s time to call for the question, could I encourage you\u2014could I implore you, could I beg you, could I exhort you\u2014please go to the Weekend to Remember\u00ae.\u00a0 If it isn\u2019t the very finest investment in the process of making the decision for you and your friend or fianc\u00e9 you know what, we\u2019ll give you your money back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This isn\u2019t about selling something.\u00a0 This is about equipping you for the second most important commitment you\u2019re ever going to make in your lifetime.\u00a0 I\u2019m passionate about this, Bob because I see tons of young people today making decisions on the wrong basis and they\u2019re not going at it according to the Bible.\u00a0 That\u2019s what we\u2019re trying to do here, is equip them with a process that\u2019s anchored in the scriptures and upon faith and trust in God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If folks need more information about the Weekend To Remember\u00ae marriage conference they can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 There\u2019s information about all of the upcoming conferences that we\u2019ve got still this spring.\u00a0 There\u2019s also information there about the newly updated and revised version of the <em>Preparing for Marriage<\/em> workbook that our team put together a number of years ago.\u00a0 Hundreds of thousands of couples have been through this material and found it very helpful.\u00a0 We have just had it revised and freshened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re engaged or you know someone who is engaged, you can go online and order these workbooks.\u00a0 You ought to get one for him and one for her.\u00a0 If you\u2019re already married, and you know somebody who\u2019s engaged, rather than just getting the workbooks for them, get a couple of the workbooks for yourself and then invite them over and say, \u201cCan we take you through these workbooks, and just help you get ready for marriage?\u201d\u00a0 It would be the greatest wedding gift you could give a young couple you know of who\u2019s planning to get married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more at FamilyLifeToday.com, and order from us online if you\u2019d like, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to take minute and say thanks to those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We appreciate your financial gifts that keep us on the air in this city and in cities all across the country.\u00a0 This month if you\u2019re able to make a donation to help support our ministry, we\u2019d like to say thank you by sending you a couple of study guides, HomeBuilders\u00ae study guides.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve just had some of our HomeBuilders\u00ae studies refreshed and updated as well.\u00a0 These are great for couples to use on a date night together or to use when they get together with other couples.\u00a0 These two study guides are our gift to you when you make a donation this month to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, donation of any amount.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if you\u2019re donating online at FamilyLifeToday.com, and you\u2019d like a couple of these study guides, type the word \u201cBUILD\u201d into the key code box on the online donation form.\u00a0 Or, if you call 1-800-FL-TODAY, and you make a donation over the phone, just ask for the HomeBuilders\u00ae guides.\u00a0 Again we\u2019re happy to send them out to you, and we do appreciate your partnership with us in this ministry and your financial support of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 I hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\u00a0 Dennis has some ideas for men about how we can do a more effective job of loving and serving our wives.\u00a0 How we can express love and show our appreciation for them more effectively.\u00a0 That\u2019s coming up Monday so guys, get ready.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302016","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302016"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302016"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302016"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302016"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302016"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302016"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302016"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}