{"id":302015,"date":"2010-04-15T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-04-15T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/knowing-gods-will-for-marriage-part-1\/"},"modified":"2010-04-15T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-04-15T15:00:00","slug":"knowing-gods-will-for-marriage-part-1","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/knowing-gods-will-for-marriage-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Knowing God&#8217;s Will for Marriage, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What does it mean to take a vow of marriage?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-04-15.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"21.45M","filesize_raw":"22490350","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809],"tags":[4419,5148],"podcast_series":[7721],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302015","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","tag-marriage-covenant","tag-marriage-vow","podcast_series-knowing-gods-will-for-marriage","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302015\/knowing-gods-will-for-marriage-part-1","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302015\/knowing-gods-will-for-marriage-part-1","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"EjE2DSU3g3\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/knowing-gods-will-for-marriage-part-1\/\">Knowing God&#8217;s Will for Marriage, Part 1<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/knowing-gods-will-for-marriage-part-1\/embed\/#?secret=EjE2DSU3g3\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Knowing God&#8217;s Will for Marriage, Part 1&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"EjE2DSU3g3\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"What does it mean to take a vow of marriage?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-04-15.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u201cTrust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.\u00a0 In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.\u201d\u00a0 He didn\u2019t say he would make them smooth, or flat.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to have some difficulties in making this decision, and difficulties in life.\u00a0 But God has promised He will make your path straight as you trust in Him and seek Him in making this decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday April 15<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 The decision about who to marry is obviously a pretty significant decision.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to give you some coaching today on how to make sure it\u2019s a wise decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you what; we have gone to the classic vault today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The message, however is every bit as relevant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Timeless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you how timeless it was.\u00a0 I was recently in the island country of Fiji, 338 islands, about 900 thousand people.\u00a0 I was asked to speak a number of times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You were there for a speaking assignment, right?\u00a0 This wasn\u2019t just rest and relaxation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, I got a couple of days of rest and relaxation, but they worked me to death.\u00a0 But, we did a Weekend to Remember\u00ae, we spoke at high schools.\u00a0 And, I also spoke at the University of South Pacific.\u00a0 It\u2019s every bit as pretty as the name sounds like.\u00a0 It\u2019s right on the coast and I was asked to speak in a \u201cfree speech platform\u201d to a group of single people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI spoke about the three most important decisions you\u2019ll make in your life: your master, your mate, and your mission; and how all three of those decisions are determinative in your life.\u00a0 They\u2019re going to make a difference in who you become, what you become, and the impact you have with your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI opened it up at the end after I\u2019d spoken, for questions.\u00a0 The first question, \u201cHow can I know I\u2019m marrying the right person?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And you thought to yourself, \u201cWell, I\u2019m glad you asked that question, because I\u2019ve spoken about this for years and years and years.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I first thought this, I thought, we\u2019re thousands of miles away from America, but these are college students, these are single people from all over the South Pacific, and frankly around the world, but the needs of young people are about the same.\u00a0 They want to know how can you know you\u2019re marrying the right person.\u00a0 How do you know he\u2019s the right one, she\u2019s the one?\u00a0 You\u2019re right, Bob, I have spoken on this numerous times to a number of groups around the world.\u00a0 There are some biblical principles that are classic that never change.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, years ago, when we first were doing our Weekend to Remember\u00ae marriage conferences, the only people who came were engaged couples, and all the engaged couples had that question.\u00a0 \u201cHow can I know that this is the right person?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo you put together a session designed to answer just that issue.\u00a0 To help a young person walk through a process by which you can get it settled in your own heart and mind that this is the person God would have me marry.\u00a0 And, you laid out some very helpful, biblical principles.\u00a0 So, this week we want our listeners to hear that classic message.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear part one of it right here.\u00a0 Here\u2019s Dennis Rainey tackling the subject of: \u201cHow can I know if this is the right one?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>[From FamilyLife Marriage Conference.]\u00a0 I believe the decision you are about to embark upon is one of the most important decisions you\u2019ll ever make in this lifetime.\u00a0 So I want to, first of all, commend you for taking the time to invest in your relationship.\u00a0 There are really two groups of people here.\u00a0 For those who need to decide and they feel the pressure building and they sense it\u2019s time to make a decision, this seminar will give you some structure in how to make that decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, though, it\u2019s for a group of people who have already decided, and you\u2019re here.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got the ring on, you\u2019ve said yes, he said yes, and you\u2019re all excited about it.\u00a0 But I want to help you get some structure and some reasons why you\u2019re right for each other that, when you look back later on and there\u2019s trouble in your marriage and difficulty, you\u2019ll be able to say, \u201cYes, I made the right choice.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod\u2019s will.\u00a0 The decision of determining God\u2019s will must be based on a correct understanding of four things.\u00a0 Let\u2019s look at these together.\u00a0 First of all, letter A, a right evaluation of God and his word\u2026a right evaluation of God and his word.\u00a0 What do we mean by this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all, we want a correct knowledge of God that will release us to trust him as we make our decision.\u00a0 You cannot trust that which you do not know.\u00a0 And the process of knowing a God who is in charge of His creation is critical if you\u2019re about to receive this person as God\u2019s gift for you.\u00a0 Look at Psalm 32:8.\u00a0 God is speaking.\u00a0 \u201cI will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go.\u00a0 I will counsel you with my eye upon you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt has been said that God is the general and we are the privates.\u00a0 We\u2019re the ones lower in rank.\u00a0 And it is the general\u2019s responsibility to give the orders to the private.\u00a0 What\u2019s the private\u2019s responsibility?\u00a0 To listen carefully to the orders of the general and to carry them out.\u00a0 And your responsibility in this hour is to filter this through your heart and to be open to what is said here and to learn about what is to be applied in your marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPoint two:\u00a0 God\u2019s word gives us prerequisites for determining God\u2019s will.\u00a0 Look at this scripture here.\u00a0 \u201cThy word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.\u201d\u00a0 God\u2019s word is like a flashlight. There\u2019s a path that\u2019s about 150 yards from our back door.\u00a0 It\u2019s called the Ouachita Mountain Trail. If you get on the left of that path and you go back about three miles, you\u2019ll run into a mountain that\u2019s about a thousand feet tall.\u00a0 It\u2019s called Pinnacle Mountain.\u00a0 If you go to the right on that trail, after 200 miles of up-and-down traversing through the woods, you\u2019ll end up in Oklahoma.\u00a0 It\u2019s a beautiful trail.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMore than once I\u2019ve been on that trail with our kids after fishing on the lake and coming back on that trail with a flashlight.\u00a0 And the flashlight shows us where to step and where not to step and what\u2019s ahead, because there are copperheads.\u00a0 There have been rattlesnakes found on that path, on that trail.\u00a0 And that flashlight shows us where we ought to step.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere will be certain cautions in this hour coming from God\u2019s word.\u00a0 There will be certain directives coming in this hour, all to help you and me gain a perspective as we go down this path.\u00a0 Letter A, we are to be children of God.\u00a0 This is one of the commands of scripture.\u00a0 \u201cAnd Jesus answered and said to him, \u2018This is the work of God that you believe in him whom he has sent.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 You are to become a child of God through personal faith in Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second thing that we are to do, as we are commanded from scripture, is we are to marry Christians.\u00a0 Look at 2 Corinthians 6:14-15.\u00a0 \u201cDo not be bound together with unbelievers, for what partnership has righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?\u00a0 Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or Satan?\u00a0 Or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnswer:\u00a0 Only the things of the world.\u00a0 And if, by chance, there is someone out here who is playing church and knows they\u2019re not a Christian, don\u2019t enter into that relationship knowing that you\u2019re putting on the guise of Christianity or \u201cspirituality,\u201d quote, so that you can get this woman or this man into this union called marriage, because, my friend, you are headed for serious conflict.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPoint C:\u00a0 We are to pray and seek God.\u00a0 \u201cTrust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.\u00a0 In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.\u201d\u00a0 He didn\u2019t say He would make them smooth or flat.\u00a0 And you\u2019re going to have some difficulties in making this decision and difficulties in life, but God has promised He\u2019ll make your path straight as you trust in Him and seek Him in making this decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo the first prerequisite for determining God\u2019s will is a right understanding of God and his word.\u00a0 The second one, point B, is a right evaluation of self\u2026a right evaluation of self.\u00a0 Number one, we must understand that a total commitment to the lordship of Christ is a prerequisite for determining God\u2019s will.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I want you all to listen real carefully here.\u00a0 There can be no confidence, in decisions that are on the horizontal\u2014that is, interpersonal relationships between another person\u2014if the vertical relationship with God is not clean and pure, holy and rightly related to God.\u00a0 And if you think you\u2019re just going to flip a switch, clean up your life real quick and then make the decision to get married and then continue on with what you used to do, you\u2019re getting ready to make a very grave error.\u00a0 I have counseled more than one couple who, all of a sudden, when they moved into this marital relationship, became deeply religious\u2026only after marriage to find their faith gone, history.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLook at this verse here.\u00a0 \u201cI urge you, therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.\u00a0 And don\u2019t be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.\u201d\u00a0 Now, I want you to underline the next phrase\u2026\u201dthat you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable and perfect.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do you prove the will of God?\u00a0 By giving your life totally to Jesus Christ.\u00a0 The prerequisite before you can ever have the confidence you have God\u2019s will in your grasp is that you have sold out the ownership of your life and that\u2019s been settled once and for all.\u00a0 I\u2019ll share a little bit later on in the conference, but in our safety deposit box is the title deed to our life that Barbara and I signed early in our marriage.\u00a0 We\u2019d already made the decision before we got married, but we formalized it in a contract.\u00a0 And if you all haven\u2019t done that before you make this decision to get married, please do so.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPoint two:\u00a0 We must understand that some lack confidence in themselves and have a history of indecisiveness.\u00a0 Some people lack confidence when it comes time to make a decision.\u00a0 This is part of understanding yourself.\u00a0 Look at this, letter A.\u00a0 You may have a history of indecision.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou may walk into a grocery store and have a hard time deciding between the Le Sueur peas and Del Monte, a hard time choosing your major in college or what college to go to or what kind of car to purchase or where to live.\u00a0 Decisions are just tough for you.\u00a0 It may not even be related to a spiritual issue.\u00a0 It may just be that you as a person have difficulty in having confidence in yourself, of risking and stepping out to make a decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPoint B\u2026this may be true especially for some of you who are older singles\u2026you may fear a commitment.\u00a0 You\u2019ve seen too many human lives in the wreckage and human debris of divorce all around, your friends you went to high school and college with, and now they\u2019re divorced.\u00a0 You see the statistics.\u00a0 They\u2019re in the newspaper, the magazines, and the media.\u00a0 And you fear the commitment and the risk that represents.\u00a0 You need to understand that as you make this choice.\u00a0 A second prerequisite for determining God\u2019s will is a right evaluation of self.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA third one is a right evaluation of sin\u2026a right evaluation of sin.\u00a0 Number one, we must understand that rebellion or apathy cannot be tolerated if we are to rightly determine God\u2019s will.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, we must understand that a decision is not to be based upon excessive physical involvement\u2026not based on excessive physical involvement.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to have just a heart-to-heart talk with you here, because I know what is going on in our singles groups in our churches around the land.\u00a0 I know what happens in singles bars.\u00a0 We have a morality that is continuing to dip lower and lower that is being adopted in the Christian church today, where it\u2019s astounding that there are so few values of morality being held by Christian singles today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis afternoon you\u2019re going to hear a message on sex, and you will find out that it is one of the hottest topics of struggle in this room as some 3,000 people will fill this auditorium to find out how to make this sexual relationship dynamic and work and pleasurable.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou all are sitting out there looking at me and you\u2019re going, \u201cHuh?\u201d\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s like falling off a cliff right now.\u00a0 That\u2019s because before marriage the electricity, the components, the natural tendency of it all is just to fall into each other\u2019s arms.\u00a0 Sex is the easiest way to know someone before marriage.\u00a0 Afterward, I believe it\u2019s one of the most difficult.\u00a0 In fact, it becomes a barometer of the relationship, and in many cases becomes a point of resentment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen Barbara and I were dating, we made some commitments to one another.\u00a0 It was only after we were walking across a shopping center not far from here, and we had been dating about 50 days out of 52.\u00a0 We\u2019d had a fantastic relationship, friendship\u2026been on picnics together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll never forget.\u00a0 It was a June afternoon.\u00a0 The sun was going down here, and it was a beautiful, beautiful sunset.\u00a0 I reached over and took her hand as we were walking along in this shopping center.\u00a0 She looked back at me and shot me a glance and she said, \u201cWhy\u2019d you do that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, it kind of took me back, because I\u2019ve never had a woman ever ask me why I held her hand.\u00a0 I fumbled around, and I don\u2019t think I gave her a very good answer, so I just kind of dropped her hand right there in the parking lot, because I didn\u2019t have a good answer.\u00a0 It was the beginning of, I believe, something that could have gone on to become very, very selfish and it could have polluted and diluted our relationship from what it became\u2026a pure, pure relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe went ahead and got engaged and got married. And I want to tell you all something.\u00a0 This is very, very strange to hear in this culture.\u00a0 But our relationship, I can assure you, was not based upon our sexual involvement.\u00a0 Now, how meaningful is that to me today?\u00a0 Well, I\u2019ll just give you a couple of ideas of how meaningful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all, I know that although my heart was beating for that woman and hers was beating for me, our ears remained clear to hear God\u2019s voice, and the drums and the pounding of the emotion that is fueled by our sexuality, although that attraction was there\u2026and I want to tell you, it\u2019s still there\u2026that remained clear so I could hear God\u2019s voice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second thing that has occurred in our marriage relationship is, as I travel or as Barbara travels the trust that we have in our marriage and our relationship is absolutely powerful.\u00a0 Although we both know that either one of us could stumble and fall, my friend, I want to tell you, because we paid the price of keeping our hands off and our distance from one another, it has built a trust in our relationship and gave us the confidence, as we encounter trouble now, even in the sexual area of the relationship, that we can look back to a decision that wasn\u2019t based upon our hormones and because we were good in bed together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I want to tell you something.\u00a0 I love you all.\u00a0 But as Christian singles today, many of you are letting your standards exemplify that of the world.\u00a0 God in heaven is not up in heaven trying to penalize you to put off some kind of pleasure that you\u2019re missing out on.\u00a0 My friend, if you wait until the fences of marriage are built around the relationship, then, when the pleasure comes, it\u2019ll be meaningful, good.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be blessed by God, and not out of disobedience.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if you\u2019re involved, could I encourage you to back off?\u00a0 Could I encourage you to make some covenants and some commitments to one another and avoid those situations that tend to throw you into immoral situations?\u00a0 Don\u2019t let sex foul your feelings up.\u00a0 And a lot of couples are letting that happen today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThird point:\u00a0 A right evaluation of sin.\u00a0 It\u2019s deadly.\u00a0 Avoid it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFourth, point D:\u00a0 A right evaluation of the process of determining God\u2019s will.\u00a0 And I\u2019ve just got one central thought here.\u00a0 A lot of people, a lot of Christians today, want God\u2019s peace before they make the decision.\u00a0 They want the peace of God about this is the right person without stepping out and making the commitment.\u00a0 But I believe the biblical equation for gaining peace is one word:\u00a0 Faith.\u00a0 It is stepping out and making a commitment.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you don\u2019t who don\u2019t have peace yet about your relationship and you\u2019re trying to get peace and then you\u2019ll get married.\u00a0 The only way you\u2019re going to get that peace is by listening to this material, listening throughout the weekend, and then coming to a conclusion and step out either to marry or to break it off.\u00a0 On the basis of that commitment and that step of faith, either peace results or a lack of peace results.\u00a0 And if it\u2019s peace to get married, you move on.\u00a0 If it\u2019s peace to break the relationship off, then break it off.\u00a0 But you do the right thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ve been listening to a message from a number of years ago.\u00a0 A message presented at the FamilyLife Weekend To Remember\u00ae marriage conference.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We found this on an ark.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is almost twenty years ago you presented this message.\u00a0 But just as I was listening to it I was thinking about how I wrestled with that very issue.\u00a0 When I was getting married to Mary Ann, there was a song that was out on the radio that went, \u201cIt\u2019s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s so hard for singles today because they hate to throw the towel in and admit the quest is over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How do you make your purchase\u2014pardon me sounding crass here\u2014but how do you make your purchase if you haven\u2019t examined all the brands right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think your counsel here about ultimately you say \u201cGod you\u2019ve ordered these events, these circumstances, I\u2019m going to step out in faith.\u201d and then\u2026 I think you\u2019re right.\u00a0 God grants peace or he troubles your soul about the decision you\u2019re making.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to use a crass illustration here because I\u2019m not a riverboat gambler, but you\u2019ve got to place your bets.\u00a0 You just can\u2019t keep on dating for six, eight, ten years.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got some people who find comfort in both being firmly planted in midair, right on the fence.\u00a0 They\u2019ve got a couch on the fence, they\u2019re all comfortable and some of you ladies who are listening to me, right now, you need to call for the question.\u00a0 You need to call for the young man to get off the fence and either pop the question, or allow you to move on with life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, wait.\u00a0 Before you do that, let me just suggest that you probably ought to hear part two of this message\u2026.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>That might be a good idea. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2026before you decide to press the question or pop the question.\u00a0 Because there\u2019s more you ought to be thinking about as you pray through and think through whether this is what God would have you do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen once you\u2019re ready to make that step, let me encourage you to get a couple of copies of the <em>Preparing for Marriage<\/em> workbooks that we\u2019ve put together here at FamilyLife.\u00a0 There have been hundreds of thousands of these sold and used over the last decade.\u00a0 This is perfect for a couple to sit down and work through together.\u00a0 But it\u2019s also a great resource for an older couple, a mentor couple to interact with an engaged couple and take them through the process. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact we met some real champions over the years.\u00a0 Husbands and wives who have taken this on as a ministry in their church or just with the young couples they know.\u00a0 When they hear somebody\u2019s gotten engaged, they invite them over for dinner and they say, \u201cWould you be interested in going through some pre-marital preparation going through a workbook with us that will help you get ready for marriage?\u201d\u00a0 These couples are not just interested, they are eager, they\u2019re anxious for that kind of input in their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can find out more about the newly updated <em>Preparing for Marriage<\/em> workbook.\u00a0 This has been completely refreshed and updated.\u00a0 It\u2019s now available.\u00a0 You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information.\u00a0 Again the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 1-800-358-6329. That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 Ask for information about the <em>Preparing for Marriage<\/em> workbook when you call us.\u00a0 Or order online if you\u2019d like at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also encourage those of you who either are newlyweds, or maybe you\u2019ve been married for quite some time.\u00a0 If you want to strengthen your marriage and do something that will help you grow closer to one another, and closer in your understanding of what God\u2019s purpose for marriage is, consider starting a HomeBuilders\u00ae group.\u00a0 We have also just gone through and completely refreshed some of our HomeBuilders\u00ae study guides.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re brand new, and this month, if you\u2019re able to help make a donation of any amount to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019d like to send you a couple of these new HomeBuilders\u00ae guides so that you can use them together as a couple, or invite some other couples to get together with you and go through the HomeBuilders\u00ae material.\u00a0 Again, we\u2019ve had hundreds of thousands of couples who have done that and found it very helpful for their marriage.\u00a0 Again, the HomeBuilders\u00ae study guides are yours as a gift when you help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this month with a donation of any amount. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and donate over the phone.\u00a0 If you\u2019re donating online, there\u2019s a key code box that you\u2019ll see on the online donation form, just type the word \u201cBUILD\u201d into that box and we\u2019ll send you a couple of these HomeBuilders\u00ae study guides.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr call 1-800-FL-TODAY, make your donation over the phone and ask for the HomeBuilders\u00ae guides.\u00a0 Again let me just say how much we appreciate your financial support of this ministry and how much it means to us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, we hope you\u2019ll be back with us tomorrow we\u2019re going to hear part two of Dennis\u2019s message about knowing God\u2019s will for who to marry. I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302015","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302015"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302015"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302015"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302015"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302015"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302015"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302015"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}