{"id":302004,"date":"2010-04-01T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-04-01T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/celebrating-the-days-left\/"},"modified":"2010-04-01T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-04-01T15:00:00","slug":"celebrating-the-days-left","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/celebrating-the-days-left\/","title":{"rendered":"Celebrating the Days Left"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Gary shares some practical advice for couples walking through similar trials, and encourages them to hold onto Christ by faith, believing that He cares for them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-04-01.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.04M","filesize_raw":"25202565","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2860],"tags":[4820,5035,2607,5141],"podcast_series":[7717],"cwp_profile":[9195],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302004","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hardship-and-suffering","tag-cancer","tag-crisis","tag-stress","tag-survivor","podcast_series-the-refuge-of-faith","cwp_profile-gary-oliver","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302004\/celebrating-the-days-left","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302004\/celebrating-the-days-left","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"2F5paU06Hs\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/celebrating-the-days-left\/\">Celebrating the Days Left<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/celebrating-the-days-left\/embed\/#?secret=2F5paU06Hs\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Celebrating the Days Left&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"2F5paU06Hs\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Gary shares some practical advice for couples walking through similar trials, and encourages them to hold onto Christ by faith, believing that He cares for them.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-04-01.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0The challenge is, life goes on, you still have to earn a living.\u00a0 You still have a job you have to do.\u00a0 You still have responsibilities and so there\u2019s this tension between, \u201cI only have this much time, I don\u2019t know how much it is.\u201d\u00a0 When you\u2019d go off to speak or you\u2019d go to the classroom, did you feel like you were going where you shouldn\u2019t go and you needed to stay home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Bob, it was so hard.\u00a0 I knew I needed to; I knew I was supposed to.\u00a0 But a part of me also felt kind of guilty.\u00a0 I knew part of that guilt voice, though wasn\u2019t the Holy Spirit, because the Holy Spirit does not accuse the brethren.\u00a0 That\u2019s the evil one.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you, the evil one\u2014God is faithful, but Satan is also very faithful.\u00a0 We can trust him to seek ways to discourage us, to defeat us, to distort our perspective, to distract us, to take our eyes off what we know to be true, to focus on the problem and ignore the solution.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And to lie.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>His greatest weapons are his lies.\u00a0 Did you hear any of them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, goodness!\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re not doing a good job,\u201d \u201cEnough is never enough,\u201d If I was working, I should not be working, if I was at home with Carrie I shouldn\u2019t be there.\u00a0 I kept getting advice.\u00a0 I had a few of the counselors that Job had.\u00a0 Mostly I didn\u2019t, but I had a few and it was like, no matter what I did, it wasn\u2019t this enough or that enough.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere were times guys, in all honesty, when I would sit and I didn\u2019t let Carrie see it, but I would go for walks and I would just weep.\u00a0 I just said, \u201cGod I don\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 I\u2019m Gary Oliver. I\u2019ve memorized hundreds of verses.\u00a0 I\u2019ve walked with you for years.\u00a0 I love you.\u00a0 I believe you, I need to hear something.\u00a0 I have no idea what to do.\u00a0 I\u2019m not hearing your voice.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re there, but it would help if I could have some sense of what that looks like.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere were times when I thought that there was not one tear left in my body.\u00a0 And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, sobs that I didn\u2019t understand would just come from the deepest part of who I was that I didn\u2019t know I was capable of.\u00a0 But, that was not bad.\u00a0 That was good, because God was allowing me to start to grieve.\u00a0 There was a loss of our twenty-fifth anniversary in Tuscany.\u00a0 There was a loss of things that might never happen.\u00a0 There was the loss of dreams.\u00a0 There were very real losses that God was allowing me and Carrie to start to grieve.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>If we could somehow have the privilege of being able to go to Heaven right now, and ask Carrie, \u201cCarrie how did your husband love you well?\u201d\u00a0 You mentioned earlier, you said Carrie mentioned to you that she had felt well loved, well cared for.\u00a0 What did that look like?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think Gary, many times, within the community of faith; we put this thing, this mantle of leadership on men.\u00a0 Yet, we don\u2019t put the flesh on it.\u00a0 That undoubtedly you did for your wife to say at the very end, \u201cI really felt really loved by you.\u201d\u00a0 What did you do?\u00a0 What would she say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think she would say that I was present.\u00a0 I think she would say that I didn\u2019t lie to her.\u00a0 That I told her what the doctors told me.\u00a0 I told her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did she ask you about whether you were afraid at that time?\u00a0 Did you talk about fears?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely we talked about fears.\u00a0 I talked about being alone.\u00a0 I talked about the boys.\u00a0 We talked about she was able to see our oldest son Nathan get married.\u00a0 She\u2019d barely made that, but she made it down to Florida.\u00a0 We danced, I partially held her up, Nathan partially held her up she was going to have a dance with her son at his wedding.\u00a0 God gave her that very very special, precious gift.\u00a0 No, we talked about life for our sons.\u00a0 She said, \u201cGary, you can\u2019t be a mother.\u00a0 If God takes me, you\u2019ve been a great dad; you\u2019ve been a great, great husband.\u00a0 But, don\u2019t try to be more than you can be.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tActually she almost ministered to me more in those two years than I ministered to her.\u00a0 It was astonishing.\u00a0 I think she would say my sense of humor.\u00a0 We still joked together, and we still touched a lot.\u00a0 I would take her hand, even though her hand was almost like skin just draped over some bones.\u00a0 In all honesty it\u2019s very hard to reach out to take your beloved\u2019s hand and feel a skeleton, and know that she\u2019s in much more pain than you\u2019re in.\u00a0 And knowing that as a husband that\u2019s supposed to protect his wife, that there\u2019s absolutely nothing you can do except to love and pray and be present.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You may have already shared this.\u00a0 But I have to ask this question.\u00a0 If you could just keep a snapshot in those last two years, of one moment with Carrie, what would it be?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s really easy.\u00a0 We were standing on the beach in Maui, a beach we\u2019d been to with our boys a number of times before.\u00a0 I had put my arm around her, there wasn\u2019t that much then to put my arm around.\u00a0 She turned and faced me.\u00a0 We were feeling the sand; we could hear the waves crashed.\u00a0 I looked into her eyes, and she looked into my eyes, and our lips just touched.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t like a really passionate kiss.\u00a0 Our lips touched.\u00a0 There was something about that moment that we reflected on, even later.\u00a0 God was so present in that moment, we were one.\u00a0 There was an awareness of being one, and of being in God\u2019s presence.\u00a0 There was a sense of God saying to both of us.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s okay.\u00a0 It\u2019s okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know, that\u2019s really the picture that is spoken of in the book of Genesis.\u00a0 For this cause, a father will leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It doesn\u2019t get any better than that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It really doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 But there is no ability to be one without a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.\u00a0 That\u2019s really what you\u2019ve shared with us today.\u00a0 Bob, I think our listeners hear us come to them every day on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and, the question for you as a listener has to be, \u201cAre you building your house on Jesus Christ?\u00a0 Is He present in your life\u2014the Lord Master of your life, and of your marriage?\u00a0 And are you pleasing Him?\u00a0 Are you able to take news like Gary and Carrie got and ultimately, in the midst of that, praise God for what He\u2019s doing in your marriage?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, you can have a good relationship with shared interests and with same sense of humor; there can all of those kinds of things that lead into a good relationship.\u00a0 But what you\u2019re talking about is a spiritual intimacy.\u00a0 If that\u2019s absent from a marriage, there\u2019s a hole in the midst of what your marriage was designed to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know you and your wife Barbara, years ago wrote a devotional guide for couples called <em>Moments With You<\/em> that is designed to strengthen the spiritual bond between a husband and wife.\u00a0 It gives you an opportunity each day to consider a verse of scripture together, to look at a devotional that is tied to that scripture, and then it gives you an opportunity to pray together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you\u2019ve said Gary, it\u2019s that kind of spiritual intimacy that is the bedrock on which you face struggles together as a couple.\u00a0 We don\u2019t know when they\u2019re coming, but we can prepare for them knowing that we\u2019re likely to face them, and we want to make sure the foundation is solid before they come.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf our listeners are interested in a copy of your daily devotional guide <em>Moments With You<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthey can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to request a copy.\u00a0 Or they can call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLufeToday.com, you can order from us online if you\u2019d like, or call 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800 F as in \u201cfamily\u201d L as in \u201clife\u201d and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 We\u2019ll make arrangements to get a copy of the book out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention, if you are grieving or if you know someone who is grieving, Jerry Sittser\u2019s book, <em>A Grace Disguised<\/em> is maybe the best resource we know to recommend to those who want to honestly confront the reality of their grief and understand where God is in the midst of it.\u00a0 Again the book is called <em>A Grace Disguised, <\/em>and there\u2019s information about it on our website as well, FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can order a copy by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis issue of building the spiritual foundation of a marriage is really what FamilyLife has been committed to for more than three decades now.\u00a0 Our goal is to see every home become a godly home.\u00a0 The foundation of that is a marriage where a husband and wife together bow before God committed first to Him, and then to one another.\u00a0 Through our events and the resources that we create through this daily radio program and our website, all of what we do is designed to point couples in that direction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust recently we have revised one of our core resources.\u00a0 It\u2019s our HomeBuilders\u00ae study guide called <em>Building Your Marriage to Last<\/em>.\u00a0 This is the best selling study in our series of what is the best selling series of studies on marriage and family to be produced over the last thirty years.\u00a0 If you\u2019re able to help with a donation to FamilyLife this month, we\u2019d love to send you two study guides from the new HomeBuilders\u00ae Series, <em>Building Your Marriage to Last<\/em>.\u00a0 This is something you and your spouse can go through together, just the two of you as a couple, or it\u2019s something that you can invite other couples to join you in.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you, to put a HomeBuilders\u00ae group together and go through these studies with three or four other couples, is a great way to build relationships, and a great way to grow together in your relationship with Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, if you can help with a donation of any amount this month to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019d love to send you couple of these brand new, revised study guides, <em>Building Your Marriage to Last<\/em>, a part of the HomeBuilders\u00ae Couples Series.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you make your donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com, just type the word, \u201cbuild\u201d in the key code box that you find on the online donation form, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, make your donation over the phone and ask for the HomeBuilders\u00ae studies, and again we\u2019re happy to send them out to you.\u00a0 We hope they\u2019ll help strengthen your marriage and we hope you might connect with some other couples and build into their marriages as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for today.\u00a0 Hope you can be back with us tomorrow, when we\u2019re going to continue our conversation with Dr. Gary Oliver and hear about another tragedy that emerged right in the midst of the tragedy with his wife Carrie.\u00a0 That comes up tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch, our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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