{"id":301990,"date":"2010-03-05T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-03-05T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/sowing-the-seeds-of-abstinence\/"},"modified":"2010-03-05T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-03-05T17:00:00","slug":"sowing-the-seeds-of-abstinence","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/sowing-the-seeds-of-abstinence\/","title":{"rendered":"Sowing the Seeds of Abstinence"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you feel powerless to protect your teen from early sexual involvement?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-03-05.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.76M","filesize_raw":"24915321","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2815,2855],"tags":[4857,5122],"podcast_series":[7711],"cwp_profile":[9192,9191],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301990","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sexual-wholeness","category-teens","tag-premarital-sex","tag-teen-sex","podcast_series-hooked","cwp_profile-dr-freda-bush","cwp_profile-dr-joe-mcilhaney","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301990\/sowing-the-seeds-of-abstinence","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301990\/sowing-the-seeds-of-abstinence","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"fhesQcJgDv\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/sowing-the-seeds-of-abstinence\/\">Sowing the Seeds of Abstinence<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/sowing-the-seeds-of-abstinence\/embed\/#?secret=fhesQcJgDv\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Sowing the Seeds of Abstinence&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"fhesQcJgDv\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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<\/strong>We found that if the young person had a connectedness to their parents, if they felt\u2014they didn\u2019t want to disappoint their parents, they were more likely to abstain.\u00a0 You need to make it clear to the young person what your expectations are.\u00a0 Spend time with them so you have a relationship with them, and therefore you have credibility, as far as encouraging them to follow what guidance that you would have for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, March 5<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear today what moms and dads can do to influence their children in the direction of sexual purity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, you have spent virtually your entire ministry helping families, married couples, understand what the Bible has to say about marriage, and then helping parents know what it looks like to raise your children to know and to follow Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m concerned as I look at the sexual behavior of young people in our culture today about the future of marriage in our culture.\u00a0 Because with what is going on among teenagers and young adults in terms of sexual behavior, I\u2019m just concerned that seeds are being sown that will cause marriages to be undermined heading into the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We\u2019re creating a culture that is telling parents they\u2019re powerless against media and this megaphone culture that we live in that\u2019s promoting all of this to our young people.\u00a0 But we have a pair of physicians with us in the studio.\u00a0 Dr. Freda McKissic Bush and Dr. Joe McIlhaney join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. McIlhaney:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Dr. Bush is from Mississippi, she\u2019s been an Ob-Gyn for more than 22 years.\u00a0 Joe was also in the same field of work and ultimately moved toward establishing and founding the Medical Institute for Sexual Health of which you, Freda serve on the board there.\u00a0 You both have a passion for this subject we\u2019re talking about, and you\u2019ve put your hearts between two covers when you\u2019ve written a book called.\u00a0 <em>Hooked:<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>New Science on How Causal Sex Is Affecting Our Children.<\/em>\u00a0 Joe, I wonder if you could give our listeners just an overview of what your premise of this book is, and what you\u2019re trying to help parents understand.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. McIlhaney:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Sure.\u00a0 The book is a product of the Medical Institute for Sexual Health, the organization that Freda and I are a part of that I started back in 1992.\u00a0 The organization talked about sexually transmitted diseases and how common they are and about non-marital pregnancy.\u00a0 But we\u2019ve begun realizing that in the literature, in the scientific literature starting just a few years ago that the new neuroscience was showing us some things about sexual behavior from MRIs from PET scans, and from sophisticated essays of neurochemicals.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt showed that, for example, when people have sex, they secrete dopamine which gives them a thrill, makes them want to do it again.\u00a0 That is a hormone that, in a sense addicts people to a behavior because they feel so good when they do it.\u00a0 So, people when they have sex can get addicted to sexual behavior whether they are kids or married folks.\u00a0 Then, people when they are physical, skin to skin with another person bond to them emotionally.\u00a0 But, because of physical chemicals, oxytocin that\u2019s secreted into the woman\u2019s brain and vasopressin that\u2019s secreted in the man\u2019s brain causes him to bond to that person if they\u2019re skin to skin with them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs Freda said, when a woman hugs a man for 20 seconds or more she begins to bond to him and trust him.\u00a0 So, we see this design, if you will, the way we\u2019re made, that allows two people, a man and a woman to become addicted to sex with each other.\u00a0 Then they will become pregnant, they bond to each other because they\u2019re physical with each other, and they stay together if they\u2019re married.\u00a0 The statistics clearly show that it\u2019s marriage, it\u2019s not cohabitation or anything else where the couple will stay together.\u00a0 These two hormones help make that happen.\u00a0 It\u2019s almost like God designed it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s really the essence of what we\u2019re saying here.\u00a0 We\u2019re saying that this relationship of marriage, because of these hormones causes these people to seal together and connect with each other.\u00a0 A connection with another person is vital from the time we\u2019re born.\u00a0 We\u2019re made to become involved in one relationship with another person\u2014if it\u2019s sexual\u2014for life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You mentioned the word design.\u00a0 I think of the book of beginnings\u2014the book of Genesis\u2014Genesis 2:25.\u00a0 \u201cGod said, \u2018Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and hold fast to his wife.\u00a0 And they shall become one flesh.\u2019\u00a0 And the man and his wife were both naked and they were not ashamed.\u201d\u00a0 There\u2019s the picture of what you\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. McIlhaney:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Our science basically describes the basis for that, and the way God made our brains.\u00a0 It\u2019s just phenomenal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Freda, your book is really chock-full of information that parents can use to better understand their teenager.\u00a0 But it also instructs parents as to what they can do with their teens as they find out this information about the brain.\u00a0 They go, \u201cWell, let\u2019s look here for a second.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a teenager that I\u2019m going to have for seven years.\u201d\u00a0 Maybe longer, because I think because young people are moving into this phase at 11 and 12.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And some of them are staying adolescents for longer than seven years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, there you go.\u00a0 But they want to know what they can do, where they can start, and your book has got a list of ways parents can better coach their kids in terms of protecting their bodies, and their brains for the person that God intended them to leave, cleave and become one with\u2014their spouse when they get married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to put that list on FamilyLifeToday.com, for anybody who can\u2019t write it down really quickly and doesn\u2019t get a copy of your book.\u00a0 But, what would you coach parents to do as they look at their youngster whose emerging into adolescence to help them better protect from this culture.\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s vicious out there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, I can tell you the target of the book was parents.\u00a0 We wanted to empower them and encourage them to be parents, because all of the studies show that the parents are the most influential in their young person\u2019s life.\u00a0 And also, there was one study in particular that interviewed young people to find out those who had waited to have sex, why were they still virgins?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe found some characteristics of the family structure was that, if the young person had a connectedness to their parents that they were more likely to abstain.\u00a0 If they felt parental disapproval of them participating in sexual activity, and if they found parental disapproval of them participating in birth control, they didn\u2019t want to disappoint their parents.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo parents, we\u2019re saying to you that you need to make it clear to the young person what your expectations are, spend time with them so you have a relationship with them, and therefore you have credibility as far as encouraging them to follow what guidance and directions that you would have for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There are a lot of parents who have a lot of regret as they look at the choices that their kids have made.\u00a0 You\u2019ve talked for years to your patients, to their parents, about sexual abstinence, about purity.\u00a0 You had these kinds of conversations with your kids when they were growing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But, there did come a day when you got a phone call from your daughter right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is true.\u00a0 Our oldest daughter was away at college, and called to say that she wanted to come home.\u00a0 When she did, she informed us that she was pregnant.\u00a0 Now I can tell you as an OB\/GYN\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Now wait, did she tell you she was pregnant in the phone call?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No.\u00a0 She called and said \u201cmay I come home?\u201d\u00a0 And it was not a scheduled visit.\u00a0 So we gave her permission.\u00a0 \u201cSure! Come home.\u201d\u00a0 She took me out to shop, and in the course of the shopping, I am informed that she is pregnant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>While you\u2019re casually shopping for clothes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh yes, she was wise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She wanted this to happen in a public place didn\u2019t she?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Actually we were in a restaurant, in the mall, and she informs me that she\u2019s pregnant.\u00a0 And you\u2019re correct.\u00a0 You have to sit there and be polite, and you can\u2019t cry and holler.\u00a0 You have to listen.\u00a0 I really think she was a very wise woman to have me there so that I would hear the whole story.\u00a0 What she said was \u201cI know what you and Dad taught me, but I got to school and it seemed everybody was doing it, and there didn\u2019t seem to be the consequences that you all had talked about.\u00a0 So I thought, \u2018Why not? I like him, he likes me, we will have relations.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell when she became pregnant, she recognized it but she came to us and that was what I was so grateful for.\u00a0 Because of the relationship that we had as mother and daughter, she felt safe to come to me.\u00a0 Because I\u2019m convinced, in Atlanta she could have had an abortion and I would have never known she was pregnant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What were you thinking in that restaurant in that public place, though because, as a parent, these moments happen and you\u2019re flooded with all kinds of feelings.\u00a0 Wondering where you\u2019ve failed, wondering what you could have done different, reaching out in compassion to your daughter, knowing some of the impact this pregnancy is going to have on her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And you still have to go home and tell Dad about this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh!\u00a0 I told her, I would not tell him.\u00a0 She would have to tell him, and I would be with her.\u00a0 I would walk alongside her, but that was her responsibility.\u00a0 But you are correct.\u00a0 My first thought was, \u201cWhat did I do wrong or what did I not do?\u201d\u00a0 And her response to me was, \u201cYou told us, you demonstrated.\u00a0 It is not your fault.\u00a0 I made a stupid choice.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I want to say something to parents who\u2019ve either heard those words or will hear those words you can do everything that you know how to do as a parent.\u00a0 You can follow the book\u2014the Bible, and you can have lived an exemplary life.\u00a0 Young people do have their own choices.\u00a0 They can make a mistake.\u00a0 You know what, they will make mistakes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur assignment is\u2014and I love the way you stated this Freda when you said, you were so proud of her for coming to you, and I felt grace and compassion in your voice for her.\u00a0 That\u2019s what a parent has to realize they have to rise above their own hurts, disappointment and maybe themselves, and for their child, and reach out with compassion to those kids who come home with news like this.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did you start thinking \u201cI can\u2019t ever speak on this subject again.\u00a0 My husband and I can never hold any workshops and talk about abstinence, and write a book like\u2026\u201d you\u2019ve written here.\u00a0 Did you think that it was all over for you in terms of speaking out on this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I have to admit that thought did come.\u00a0 But, in our prayer time my husband and I felt a definite guidance from the Holy Spirit.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it that you want for your children?\u201d\u00a0 And when you start listening, you still want them to wait to get married before having sex.\u00a0 You still want them to have their children in marriage.\u00a0 That had not changed.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Holy Spirit said, \u201cDo not change your message, but change your method.\u201d\u00a0 I can tell you it encouraged me to find out more of the ammunition that I could use to help them have the weapons that they needed against the \u201cwarfare,\u201d if you would.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So that I could not only get this information that we have here in the book, the science to support what the Bible said, but I could also be encouraged that even if they fall down, there was grace, and there was mercy, and there was hope that we could encourage and help young people and other parents to succeed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a dream by the way.\u00a0 My dream is that my seven grandchildren will be virgins, and that they will marry virgins.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Joe, I know you have a comment here.\u00a0 But I want to ask her one last question on this before we move off of it.\u00a0 Take us to the moment when your daughter and you sat in a room with your husband and told him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>My husband is a very quiet man.\u00a0 He\u2019s a man of few words.\u00a0 His first response was, he dropped his head and grunted.\u00a0 Then he raised his head, walked to my daughter and embraced her, and we cried.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The same act of grace that she had received from you, your daughter also received from her daddy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s the picture of what a parent needs to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I can tell you we did keep that child.\u00a0 She had a baby.\u00a0 We helped her raise it.\u00a0 We kept it to allow her to finish college, which she subsequently did, and married, they now have four children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That grandchild is one of the seven\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She is one of the seven.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2026that you\u2019re praying for to get to the altar as a virgin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know what I like about that Bob?\u00a0 It\u2019s taking bad news and it\u2019s asking God to work it together for good.\u00a0 Romans 8:28 \u201cAnd we know this, that all things do work together for good to those who love God, and to those who are called according to his purpose.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The issue of beauty from ashes, that\u2019s what we\u2019re talking about.\u00a0 You take the ashes and God brings beauty out of them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. McIlhaney:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I just think that\u2019s such a beautiful illustration of the fact that when a kid, or when we make a mistake, life isn\u2019t over.\u00a0 Change can still happen for good.\u00a0 I\u2019d just like to encourage parents to realize that even kids themselves are saying that they\u2019ve made mistakes and want to do better.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor example, about 90% of kids in high school say they think they should all receive a very strong message about abstinence.\u00a0 Obviously some of those kids had sex.\u00a0 Because, we know about 75% of high school kids have had sex by the time they graduate.\u00a0 About two-thirds of kids that have had sex wish they had waited.\u00a0 They say that year after year on a major national survey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the kids themselves are saying, \u201cLook, this is the message we want.\u201d\u00a0 Even if they\u2019ve had sex, some of them have been pregnant, gotten diseases.\u00a0 That\u2019s not the life they want.\u00a0 They need the encouragement from all of us.\u00a0 Not just from parents, but from society itself.\u00a0 It\u2019s not really fair to put parents and kids out there on point without society supporting them and making these decisions.\u00a0 You know the term:\u00a0 \u201cSecondary virginity\u201d is used.\u00a0 It\u2019s a powerful term that kids can, if they\u2019ve had sex they can still become secondary virgins.\u00a0 They can stop and not keep on doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And if a mom and a dad want to help coach a teenager, again we can\u2019t guarantee the outcome, but we can do some things to help our teens to increase the odds of them getting to where the teens are saying they want to be, in terms of sexual purity.\u00a0 What are some things that those teens can do and how can a mom and dad help make that happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, in the book we have some practical suggestions of how parents can help guide their young people.\u00a0 Among them, as we say, find a good friend with the same commitment about sex.\u00a0 So, in other words, \u201cbirds of a feather flock together.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf your friends are draining on you and not going in that right direction, you lose them.\u00a0 You find some who are committed to you.\u00a0 I would not date anybody who would not have the same commitment to abstain that I would have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And if you\u2019re watching your kids flock together with the wrong birds, you help them find a different flock.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You get in and mess up the flock.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You stir around and find a way to create some space.\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 Scare the flock away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Another one is to write down your commitment.\u00a0 Write it down, make it plain.\u00a0 I add to that, \u201cAn aim to abstain.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And practice assertiveness.\u00a0 Make it clear what it is you expect on a date, and what it is that you expect, even if you\u2019re not on a date.\u00a0 Now days, people say, \u201cWell he was just my friend,\u201d or \u201cShe was just my friend,\u201d they don\u2019t have a relationship.\u00a0 But you make it clear that you\u2019re waiting for your mate.\u00a0 There are other things you can do to have fun and enjoy each other without participating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You can role play that ahead of time\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019m thinking parents and the teenager\u2014this sounds a bit hokey\u2014but at the dinner table you can say, \u201cLet\u2019s do a little role-play.\u00a0 Let\u2019s pretend that I\u2019m your date and I\u2019m starting to pressure you.\u00a0 Let\u2019s see what you would say.\u201d\u00a0 And you do that.\u00a0 There\u2019s some power that comes just in role-playing that before you wind up in the situation for real.\u00a0 Right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There\u2019s also dad stepping in or mom, and interviewing the young man.\u00a0 Having a little talk with the boy\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Getting a copy of your book, asking the questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Asking the questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. McIlhaney:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We did that with our daughters because of you.\u00a0 We did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, Dr. E.V. Hill, I\u2019m thinking of what he did with his daughter.\u00a0 He interviewed the young man that came knocking at the door, and he didn\u2019t like what he saw.\u00a0 His daughter came down for the date a few minutes later and she said, \u201cWhere\u2019s my date Daddy?\u201d\u00a0 Dr. Hill said\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u201cAin\u2019t no daughter of mine\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u201c\u2026going out with a thing like that!\u201d\u00a0 And they confirmed that he was the daddy, went to Mrs. Hill and confirmed without a doubt that Dr. Hill was the daddy of the daughter, and said, \u201cThere is no daughter of mine going out with a thing like that!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just appreciate both of you and your work in this book, and what you\u2019ve done.\u00a0 This list that I didn\u2019t let Freda finish because we\u2019re out of time, there is so much in this that is really good ammo.\u00a0 I like that term, Freda, I really think we\u2019re in a war for the souls of our young people.\u00a0 If I could encourage parents, I would encourage them to be too involved rather than too passive.\u00a0 Because, if you\u2019re too involved, it\u2019s probably just about right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. McIlhaney:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I want to thank both of you Joe and Freda, for your historic work over the past two or three decades but also for your current work, and your work on this book.\u00a0 Thanks for being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. McIlhaney:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you Dennis, thank you Bob.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You need to know we\u2019ve already been hearing from a lot of listeners who are going online at FamilyLifeToday.com or who are calling us at 1-800-FL-TODAY to get more information about your book, to get a copy of it.\u00a0 I just want to let listeners know you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com, there\u2019s information not only about Dr. McIlhaney and Dr. Bush\u2019s book, but there\u2019s also information about other resources we have at here at FamilyLife designed to help you as a mom and a dad be engaged in this battle that we\u2019ve talked about today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain the website FamilyLifeToday.com or you can call toll free at 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800 F as in \u201cfamily\u201d L as in \u201clife\u201d then the word TODAY.\u00a0 1-800-FL-TODAY, call and if you have questions about these resources or if you\u2019d like to place an order and have them sent to you, we have someone on our team who can take care of you and get whatever you need sent out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we are really encouraged when we hear from friends of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, those of you who listen and who write to us and let us know some of the amazing ways that God has used this radio program and the other outreach ministries of FamilyLife in your lives, in your marriage, in your family.\u00a0 That\u2019s such a great encouragement to our team.\u00a0 I appreciate those of you who take a minute from time-to-time to jot us a note and let us know that you\u2019re listening and let us know how God\u2019s using the program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks to you who help support the ministry as well.\u00a0 We are listener supported.\u00a0 Without your financial support we could not continue to air this program day in and day out here on this network of radio stations.\u00a0 This month if you\u2019re able to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation of any amount, we have a DVD we\u2019d like to send you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur friends who are involved with the <em>Jesus<\/em> Film the most widely viewed movie of all time, that tells the story of the life of Jesus, a couple of years ago they shot a new film that tells the story of the life of Jesus through the eyes of Mary Magdalene.\u00a0 It is a powerful compelling re-telling of that story.\u00a0 It\u2019s available now on DVD and we\u2019d like to send the DVD to you as a way of saying thank you for your support of this ministry this month.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you make a donation of any amount, one of the neat things about the DVD is that the audio track is available in Spanish and French and Mandarin and Korean, Arabic and Russian and Portuguese.\u00a0 So if you know someone for whom one of those languages is a first language, get a copy of this DVD and give it to them as a gift.\u00a0 Then pull back and see what God does as they watch this movie.\u00a0 Again the DVD is our thank you gift to you this month when you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation of any amount.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you make that donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com, and you\u2019d like to get the DVD, type \u201cMAGDVD\u201d into the key code box.\u00a0 Just as one word, \u201cMAGDVD,\u201d and we\u2019ll know to send you a copy of this DVD.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY make a donation by phone and just ask for the <em>Magdalena<\/em> DVD and again we\u2019re happy to send it to you.\u00a0 We do appreciate your financial support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend, hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to meet a woman whose world started to crumble a few years ago when her husband came to her and confessed to years of sexual addiction, involvement in pornography.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear her story on Monday and I hope you can be here as she tells it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Have a great weekend, and we will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of Familylife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today, Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.76M"],"filesize_raw":["24915321"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-301990.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-301990.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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you feel powerless to protect your teen from early sexual involvement?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-03-05.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>When researchers started looking at why some teenagers stay away from sexually active behavior during their teen years, they found that moms and dads make a big difference.\u00a0 Here\u2019s Dr. Freda Bush.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We found that if the young person had a connectedness to their parents, if they felt\u2014they didn\u2019t want to disappoint their parents, they were more likely to abstain.\u00a0 You need to make it clear to the young person what your expectations are.\u00a0 Spend time with them so you have a relationship with them, and therefore you have credibility, as far as encouraging them to follow what guidance that you would have for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, March 5<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear today what moms and dads can do to influence their children in the direction of sexual purity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, you have spent virtually your entire ministry helping families, married couples, understand what the Bible has to say about marriage, and then helping parents know what it looks like to raise your children to know and to follow Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m concerned as I look at the sexual behavior of young people in our culture today about the future of marriage in our culture.\u00a0 Because with what is going on among teenagers and young adults in terms of sexual behavior, I\u2019m just concerned that seeds are being sown that will cause marriages to be undermined heading into the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We\u2019re creating a culture that is telling parents they\u2019re powerless against media and this megaphone culture that we live in that\u2019s promoting all of this to our young people.\u00a0 But we have a pair of physicians with us in the studio.\u00a0 Dr. Freda McKissic Bush and Dr. Joe McIlhaney join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. McIlhaney:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Dr. Bush is from Mississippi, she\u2019s been an Ob-Gyn for more than 22 years.\u00a0 Joe was also in the same field of work and ultimately moved toward establishing and founding the Medical Institute for Sexual Health of which you, Freda serve on the board there.\u00a0 You both have a passion for this subject we\u2019re talking about, and you\u2019ve put your hearts between two covers when you\u2019ve written a book called.\u00a0 <em>Hooked:<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>New Science on How Causal Sex Is Affecting Our Children.<\/em>\u00a0 Joe, I wonder if you could give our listeners just an overview of what your premise of this book is, and what you\u2019re trying to help parents understand.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. McIlhaney:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Sure.\u00a0 The book is a product of the Medical Institute for Sexual Health, the organization that Freda and I are a part of that I started back in 1992.\u00a0 The organization talked about sexually transmitted diseases and how common they are and about non-marital pregnancy.\u00a0 But we\u2019ve begun realizing that in the literature, in the scientific literature starting just a few years ago that the new neuroscience was showing us some things about sexual behavior from MRIs from PET scans, and from sophisticated essays of neurochemicals.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt showed that, for example, when people have sex, they secrete dopamine which gives them a thrill, makes them want to do it again.\u00a0 That is a hormone that, in a sense addicts people to a behavior because they feel so good when they do it.\u00a0 So, people when they have sex can get addicted to sexual behavior whether they are kids or married folks.\u00a0 Then, people when they are physical, skin to skin with another person bond to them emotionally.\u00a0 But, because of physical chemicals, oxytocin that\u2019s secreted into the woman\u2019s brain and vasopressin that\u2019s secreted in the man\u2019s brain causes him to bond to that person if they\u2019re skin to skin with them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs Freda said, when a woman hugs a man for 20 seconds or more she begins to bond to him and trust him.\u00a0 So, we see this design, if you will, the way we\u2019re made, that allows two people, a man and a woman to become addicted to sex with each other.\u00a0 Then they will become pregnant, they bond to each other because they\u2019re physical with each other, and they stay together if they\u2019re married.\u00a0 The statistics clearly show that it\u2019s marriage, it\u2019s not cohabitation or anything else where the couple will stay together.\u00a0 These two hormones help make that happen.\u00a0 It\u2019s almost like God designed it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s really the essence of what we\u2019re saying here.\u00a0 We\u2019re saying that this relationship of marriage, because of these hormones causes these people to seal together and connect with each other.\u00a0 A connection with another person is vital from the time we\u2019re born.\u00a0 We\u2019re made to become involved in one relationship with another person\u2014if it\u2019s sexual\u2014for life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You mentioned the word design.\u00a0 I think of the book of beginnings\u2014the book of Genesis\u2014Genesis 2:25.\u00a0 \u201cGod said, \u2018Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, and hold fast to his wife.\u00a0 And they shall become one flesh.\u2019\u00a0 And the man and his wife were both naked and they were not ashamed.\u201d\u00a0 There\u2019s the picture of what you\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. McIlhaney:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Our science basically describes the basis for that, and the way God made our brains.\u00a0 It\u2019s just phenomenal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Freda, your book is really chock-full of information that parents can use to better understand their teenager.\u00a0 But it also instructs parents as to what they can do with their teens as they find out this information about the brain.\u00a0 They go, \u201cWell, let\u2019s look here for a second.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a teenager that I\u2019m going to have for seven years.\u201d\u00a0 Maybe longer, because I think because young people are moving into this phase at 11 and 12.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And some of them are staying adolescents for longer than seven years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, there you go.\u00a0 But they want to know what they can do, where they can start, and your book has got a list of ways parents can better coach their kids in terms of protecting their bodies, and their brains for the person that God intended them to leave, cleave and become one with\u2014their spouse when they get married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to put that list on FamilyLifeToday.com, for anybody who can\u2019t write it down really quickly and doesn\u2019t get a copy of your book.\u00a0 But, what would you coach parents to do as they look at their youngster whose emerging into adolescence to help them better protect from this culture.\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s vicious out there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, I can tell you the target of the book was parents.\u00a0 We wanted to empower them and encourage them to be parents, because all of the studies show that the parents are the most influential in their young person\u2019s life.\u00a0 And also, there was one study in particular that interviewed young people to find out those who had waited to have sex, why were they still virgins?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe found some characteristics of the family structure was that, if the young person had a connectedness to their parents that they were more likely to abstain.\u00a0 If they felt parental disapproval of them participating in sexual activity, and if they found parental disapproval of them participating in birth control, they didn\u2019t want to disappoint their parents.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo parents, we\u2019re saying to you that you need to make it clear to the young person what your expectations are, spend time with them so you have a relationship with them, and therefore you have credibility as far as encouraging them to follow what guidance and directions that you would have for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There are a lot of parents who have a lot of regret as they look at the choices that their kids have made.\u00a0 You\u2019ve talked for years to your patients, to their parents, about sexual abstinence, about purity.\u00a0 You had these kinds of conversations with your kids when they were growing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But, there did come a day when you got a phone call from your daughter right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is true.\u00a0 Our oldest daughter was away at college, and called to say that she wanted to come home.\u00a0 When she did, she informed us that she was pregnant.\u00a0 Now I can tell you as an OB\/GYN\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Now wait, did she tell you she was pregnant in the phone call?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No.\u00a0 She called and said \u201cmay I come home?\u201d\u00a0 And it was not a scheduled visit.\u00a0 So we gave her permission.\u00a0 \u201cSure! Come home.\u201d\u00a0 She took me out to shop, and in the course of the shopping, I am informed that she is pregnant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>While you\u2019re casually shopping for clothes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh yes, she was wise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She wanted this to happen in a public place didn\u2019t she?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Actually we were in a restaurant, in the mall, and she informs me that she\u2019s pregnant.\u00a0 And you\u2019re correct.\u00a0 You have to sit there and be polite, and you can\u2019t cry and holler.\u00a0 You have to listen.\u00a0 I really think she was a very wise woman to have me there so that I would hear the whole story.\u00a0 What she said was \u201cI know what you and Dad taught me, but I got to school and it seemed everybody was doing it, and there didn\u2019t seem to be the consequences that you all had talked about.\u00a0 So I thought, \u2018Why not? I like him, he likes me, we will have relations.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell when she became pregnant, she recognized it but she came to us and that was what I was so grateful for.\u00a0 Because of the relationship that we had as mother and daughter, she felt safe to come to me.\u00a0 Because I\u2019m convinced, in Atlanta she could have had an abortion and I would have never known she was pregnant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What were you thinking in that restaurant in that public place, though because, as a parent, these moments happen and you\u2019re flooded with all kinds of feelings.\u00a0 Wondering where you\u2019ve failed, wondering what you could have done different, reaching out in compassion to your daughter, knowing some of the impact this pregnancy is going to have on her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And you still have to go home and tell Dad about this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh!\u00a0 I told her, I would not tell him.\u00a0 She would have to tell him, and I would be with her.\u00a0 I would walk alongside her, but that was her responsibility.\u00a0 But you are correct.\u00a0 My first thought was, \u201cWhat did I do wrong or what did I not do?\u201d\u00a0 And her response to me was, \u201cYou told us, you demonstrated.\u00a0 It is not your fault.\u00a0 I made a stupid choice.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I want to say something to parents who\u2019ve either heard those words or will hear those words you can do everything that you know how to do as a parent.\u00a0 You can follow the book\u2014the Bible, and you can have lived an exemplary life.\u00a0 Young people do have their own choices.\u00a0 They can make a mistake.\u00a0 You know what, they will make mistakes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur assignment is\u2014and I love the way you stated this Freda when you said, you were so proud of her for coming to you, and I felt grace and compassion in your voice for her.\u00a0 That\u2019s what a parent has to realize they have to rise above their own hurts, disappointment and maybe themselves, and for their child, and reach out with compassion to those kids who come home with news like this.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did you start thinking \u201cI can\u2019t ever speak on this subject again.\u00a0 My husband and I can never hold any workshops and talk about abstinence, and write a book like\u2026\u201d you\u2019ve written here.\u00a0 Did you think that it was all over for you in terms of speaking out on this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I have to admit that thought did come.\u00a0 But, in our prayer time my husband and I felt a definite guidance from the Holy Spirit.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it that you want for your children?\u201d\u00a0 And when you start listening, you still want them to wait to get married before having sex.\u00a0 You still want them to have their children in marriage.\u00a0 That had not changed.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Holy Spirit said, \u201cDo not change your message, but change your method.\u201d\u00a0 I can tell you it encouraged me to find out more of the ammunition that I could use to help them have the weapons that they needed against the \u201cwarfare,\u201d if you would.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So that I could not only get this information that we have here in the book, the science to support what the Bible said, but I could also be encouraged that even if they fall down, there was grace, and there was mercy, and there was hope that we could encourage and help young people and other parents to succeed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a dream by the way.\u00a0 My dream is that my seven grandchildren will be virgins, and that they will marry virgins.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Joe, I know you have a comment here.\u00a0 But I want to ask her one last question on this before we move off of it.\u00a0 Take us to the moment when your daughter and you sat in a room with your husband and told him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>My husband is a very quiet man.\u00a0 He\u2019s a man of few words.\u00a0 His first response was, he dropped his head and grunted.\u00a0 Then he raised his head, walked to my daughter and embraced her, and we cried.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The same act of grace that she had received from you, your daughter also received from her daddy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s the picture of what a parent needs to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I can tell you we did keep that child.\u00a0 She had a baby.\u00a0 We helped her raise it.\u00a0 We kept it to allow her to finish college, which she subsequently did, and married, they now have four children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That grandchild is one of the seven\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She is one of the seven.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2026that you\u2019re praying for to get to the altar as a virgin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know what I like about that Bob?\u00a0 It\u2019s taking bad news and it\u2019s asking God to work it together for good.\u00a0 Romans 8:28 \u201cAnd we know this, that all things do work together for good to those who love God, and to those who are called according to his purpose.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The issue of beauty from ashes, that\u2019s what we\u2019re talking about.\u00a0 You take the ashes and God brings beauty out of them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. McIlhaney:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I just think that\u2019s such a beautiful illustration of the fact that when a kid, or when we make a mistake, life isn\u2019t over.\u00a0 Change can still happen for good.\u00a0 I\u2019d just like to encourage parents to realize that even kids themselves are saying that they\u2019ve made mistakes and want to do better.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor example, about 90% of kids in high school say they think they should all receive a very strong message about abstinence.\u00a0 Obviously some of those kids had sex.\u00a0 Because, we know about 75% of high school kids have had sex by the time they graduate.\u00a0 About two-thirds of kids that have had sex wish they had waited.\u00a0 They say that year after year on a major national survey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the kids themselves are saying, \u201cLook, this is the message we want.\u201d\u00a0 Even if they\u2019ve had sex, some of them have been pregnant, gotten diseases.\u00a0 That\u2019s not the life they want.\u00a0 They need the encouragement from all of us.\u00a0 Not just from parents, but from society itself.\u00a0 It\u2019s not really fair to put parents and kids out there on point without society supporting them and making these decisions.\u00a0 You know the term:\u00a0 \u201cSecondary virginity\u201d is used.\u00a0 It\u2019s a powerful term that kids can, if they\u2019ve had sex they can still become secondary virgins.\u00a0 They can stop and not keep on doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And if a mom and a dad want to help coach a teenager, again we can\u2019t guarantee the outcome, but we can do some things to help our teens to increase the odds of them getting to where the teens are saying they want to be, in terms of sexual purity.\u00a0 What are some things that those teens can do and how can a mom and dad help make that happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, in the book we have some practical suggestions of how parents can help guide their young people.\u00a0 Among them, as we say, find a good friend with the same commitment about sex.\u00a0 So, in other words, \u201cbirds of a feather flock together.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf your friends are draining on you and not going in that right direction, you lose them.\u00a0 You find some who are committed to you.\u00a0 I would not date anybody who would not have the same commitment to abstain that I would have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And if you\u2019re watching your kids flock together with the wrong birds, you help them find a different flock.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You get in and mess up the flock.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You stir around and find a way to create some space.\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 Scare the flock away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Another one is to write down your commitment.\u00a0 Write it down, make it plain.\u00a0 I add to that, \u201cAn aim to abstain.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And practice assertiveness.\u00a0 Make it clear what it is you expect on a date, and what it is that you expect, even if you\u2019re not on a date.\u00a0 Now days, people say, \u201cWell he was just my friend,\u201d or \u201cShe was just my friend,\u201d they don\u2019t have a relationship.\u00a0 But you make it clear that you\u2019re waiting for your mate.\u00a0 There are other things you can do to have fun and enjoy each other without participating.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You can role play that ahead of time\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019m thinking parents and the teenager\u2014this sounds a bit hokey\u2014but at the dinner table you can say, \u201cLet\u2019s do a little role-play.\u00a0 Let\u2019s pretend that I\u2019m your date and I\u2019m starting to pressure you.\u00a0 Let\u2019s see what you would say.\u201d\u00a0 And you do that.\u00a0 There\u2019s some power that comes just in role-playing that before you wind up in the situation for real.\u00a0 Right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There\u2019s also dad stepping in or mom, and interviewing the young man.\u00a0 Having a little talk with the boy\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Getting a copy of your book, asking the questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Asking the questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. McIlhaney:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We did that with our daughters because of you.\u00a0 We did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, Dr. E.V. Hill, I\u2019m thinking of what he did with his daughter.\u00a0 He interviewed the young man that came knocking at the door, and he didn\u2019t like what he saw.\u00a0 His daughter came down for the date a few minutes later and she said, \u201cWhere\u2019s my date Daddy?\u201d\u00a0 Dr. Hill said\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u201cAin\u2019t no daughter of mine\u2026\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u201c\u2026going out with a thing like that!\u201d\u00a0 And they confirmed that he was the daddy, went to Mrs. Hill and confirmed without a doubt that Dr. Hill was the daddy of the daughter, and said, \u201cThere is no daughter of mine going out with a thing like that!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just appreciate both of you and your work in this book, and what you\u2019ve done.\u00a0 This list that I didn\u2019t let Freda finish because we\u2019re out of time, there is so much in this that is really good ammo.\u00a0 I like that term, Freda, I really think we\u2019re in a war for the souls of our young people.\u00a0 If I could encourage parents, I would encourage them to be too involved rather than too passive.\u00a0 Because, if you\u2019re too involved, it\u2019s probably just about right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. McIlhaney:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I want to thank both of you Joe and Freda, for your historic work over the past two or three decades but also for your current work, and your work on this book.\u00a0 Thanks for being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Bush:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. McIlhaney:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you Dennis, thank you Bob.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You need to know we\u2019ve already been hearing from a lot of listeners who are going online at FamilyLifeToday.com or who are calling us at 1-800-FL-TODAY to get more information about your book, to get a copy of it.\u00a0 I just want to let listeners know you can go to FamilyLifeToday.com, there\u2019s information not only about Dr. McIlhaney and Dr. Bush\u2019s book, but there\u2019s also information about other resources we have at here at FamilyLife designed to help you as a mom and a dad be engaged in this battle that we\u2019ve talked about today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain the website FamilyLifeToday.com or you can call toll free at 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800 F as in \u201cfamily\u201d L as in \u201clife\u201d then the word TODAY.\u00a0 1-800-FL-TODAY, call and if you have questions about these resources or if you\u2019d like to place an order and have them sent to you, we have someone on our team who can take care of you and get whatever you need sent out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we are really encouraged when we hear from friends of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, those of you who listen and who write to us and let us know some of the amazing ways that God has used this radio program and the other outreach ministries of FamilyLife in your lives, in your marriage, in your family.\u00a0 That\u2019s such a great encouragement to our team.\u00a0 I appreciate those of you who take a minute from time-to-time to jot us a note and let us know that you\u2019re listening and let us know how God\u2019s using the program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks to you who help support the ministry as well.\u00a0 We are listener supported.\u00a0 Without your financial support we could not continue to air this program day in and day out here on this network of radio stations.\u00a0 This month if you\u2019re able to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation of any amount, we have a DVD we\u2019d like to send you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur friends who are involved with the <em>Jesus<\/em> Film the most widely viewed movie of all time, that tells the story of the life of Jesus, a couple of years ago they shot a new film that tells the story of the life of Jesus through the eyes of Mary Magdalene.\u00a0 It is a powerful compelling re-telling of that story.\u00a0 It\u2019s available now on DVD and we\u2019d like to send the DVD to you as a way of saying thank you for your support of this ministry this month.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you make a donation of any amount, one of the neat things about the DVD is that the audio track is available in Spanish and French and Mandarin and Korean, Arabic and Russian and Portuguese.\u00a0 So if you know someone for whom one of those languages is a first language, get a copy of this DVD and give it to them as a gift.\u00a0 Then pull back and see what God does as they watch this movie.\u00a0 Again the DVD is our thank you gift to you this month when you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation of any amount.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you make that donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com, and you\u2019d like to get the DVD, type \u201cMAGDVD\u201d into the key code box.\u00a0 Just as one word, \u201cMAGDVD,\u201d and we\u2019ll know to send you a copy of this DVD.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY make a donation by phone and just ask for the <em>Magdalena<\/em> DVD and again we\u2019re happy to send it to you.\u00a0 We do appreciate your financial support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend, hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to meet a woman whose world started to crumble a few years ago when her husband came to her and confessed to years of sexual addiction, involvement in pornography.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear her story on Monday and I hope you can be here as she tells it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Have a great weekend, and we will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of Familylife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today, Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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