{"id":301982,"date":"2010-02-19T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-02-19T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/qa-on-god-and-sex-part-2\/"},"modified":"2010-02-19T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-02-19T17:00:00","slug":"qa-on-god-and-sex-part-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/qa-on-god-and-sex-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Q&#038;A on God and Sex, Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Many of us have questions about intimacy, but are too embarrassed to ask.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-02-19.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2949,5120,4129,4066,5119],"podcast_series":[7707],"cwp_profile":[],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301982","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-abuse","tag-attraction","tag-homosexuality","tag-intimacy","tag-sex-questions","podcast_series-qa-on-god-and-sex","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301982\/qa-on-god-and-sex-part-2","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301982\/qa-on-god-and-sex-part-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ByFZwCBlHg\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/qa-on-god-and-sex-part-2\/\">Q&#038;A on God and Sex, Part 2<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/qa-on-god-and-sex-part-2\/embed\/#?secret=ByFZwCBlHg\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Q&#038;A on God and Sex, Part 2&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ByFZwCBlHg\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Many of us have questions about intimacy, but are too embarrassed to ask.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-02-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Recently during a question and answer time at his church on a Friday night, Pastor Matt Chandler was asked about whether you ought to date somebody you\u2019re not really attracted to.\u00a0 Matt\u2019s answer centered on how you define attraction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think we\u2019ve got to get past the cover.\u00a0 Our culture is terrified of growing old, so, we\u2019ll dye our hair, push poison into our wrinkles.\u00a0 So everything to us is so external, that you really rob yourself of really beautiful, beautiful, beautiful things.\u00a0 So \u201cattractive\u201d doesn\u2019t mean, \u201cphysically I want to have sex with her\u201d, that\u2019s not attraction, that\u2019s lust.\u00a0 Attraction is\u2014biblical good attraction is, \u201cThere\u2019s something about her that I just enjoy! I enjoy her.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 19th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Matt Chandler is going to help us think more biblically today about things like attraction and love, romance and dating, and sex. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see how this goes this week.\u00a0 You know last week we featured a time where we aired some questions and answers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0Had some blushing, and some people going, \u201cWow!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>This was from a message that was presented originally at the Village Church in suburban Dallas, Texas.\u00a0 Pastor Matt Chandler spoke on a Friday night on the subject of God and sex, and took questions afterwards and last week we played some of those questions and heard Matt\u2019s answers, and heard from a lot of listeners.\u00a0 There was a lot of blog traffic on our website from folks who were responding to what they heard Matt say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A lot of people appreciating somebody who would shoot straight from the Bible, and not mince words, but give you an authoritative answer from what really God\u2019s word teaches.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So, we\u2019re going to hear today some more \u201cQ &amp; A.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Some more straight shooting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s right from that session that Matt Chandler presented at the Village Church, back a few months ago, this was on a Friday night, as I said, a message he entitled \u201cGod and Sex,\u201d and I\u2019ll just mention that the entire message is available for download. You can go to our website FamilyLifeToday.com, and there\u2019s a link you can click there that will take you to the Village website where you can download the message and listen to it if you\u2019d like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I also want to remind folks that Matt Chandler is in the process of recovering from some pretty dramatic surgery.\u00a0 Back before Thanksgiving, he had a seizure.\u00a0 It was discovered that he had a cancerous tumor in his brain that was removed.\u00a0 He\u2019s now undergoing treatment, and I want to encourage you as a listener, hold this man up in prayer, his wife and family and their church.\u00a0 These have to be challenging days.\u00a0 Just thank God for him and his teaching, it\u2019s a privilege to feature his ministry here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> as we\u2019ve done a number of times.\u00a0 But, pray for him if you would.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, let\u2019s listen together to some of the questions Matt received after his presentation on a Friday night in Dallas.\u00a0 Hear how he answers some of these tough questions that were thrown at him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Matt:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I love this question.\u00a0 \u201cIf I really like a girl\u2019s personality, but I\u2019m not particularly attracted to her sexually, is that a reason not to date?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 No, it\u2019s not.\u00a0 It\u2019s not.\u00a0 I think you can absolutely grow in attraction and here\u2019s what I would give you.\u00a0 If we ask the question, how many of you hung out in a group for a year\u2026 for eight months\u2026 for nine months\u2026 when all of a sudden one day you woke up and went, \u201cGosh, she\u2019s beautiful.\u201d?\u00a0 Are you serious?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got people close to my world who are married now who were in the same crowd for a couple of years and never looked at one another and said, \u201cYes, that\u2019s what I\u2019m talking about.\u201d\u00a0 There might have even been some, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t think so.\u201d\u00a0 Some of them might even be in this room tonight, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 And then, what happened?\u00a0 One day, there it was.\u00a0 A havah, \u201cYes, them.\u00a0 God, how did I not see that?\u201d\u00a0 So, yes I think you can.\u00a0 See, I think we\u2019ve got to get past the cover.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how else to say this.\u00a0 I think we\u2019ve got to get past the cover.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur culture is terrified of growing old.\u00a0 So we\u2019ll dye our hair, and push poison into our wrinkles and grab our flesh and sew it to our collar bone and we\u2019ll just do all that stuff because we\u2019re terrified of getting old.\u00a0 We just are.\u00a0 So everything to us is so external, that you really rob yourself of really beautiful, beautiful, beautiful things.\u00a0 So, yes, date her.\u00a0 Even right now, you are attracted to her.\u00a0 Attracted doesn\u2019t mean \u201cOh, physically, I want to have sex with her.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s not attraction, that\u2019s lust.\u00a0 Attraction is, \u201cGosh, I enjoy her.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re all going to grow old; gravity is going to take over.\u00a0 Hair is going to sprout where it historically has not sprouted.\u00a0 Is it not?\u00a0 I know you think it\u2019s funny, but it\u2019s simple biology.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to gain weight in certain places.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWomen you\u2019re going to have babies, and it\u2019s going to blow your body up.\u00a0 It is. It takes a while to recover from that.\u00a0 It\u2019s a human being growing in you, Okay?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to get wrinkly.\u00a0 Our teeth are going to fall out.\u00a0 It is going to happen.\u00a0 All the technology in the world\u2026 You might be able to disguise it, but there\u2019s nothing sadder than a 90-year old man with a 40-year old face.\u00a0 It\u2019s just weird.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t have any wrinkles, you were born in 1931.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, attraction is\u2014biblical good attraction is:\u00a0 \u201cGosh there\u2019s something about her I just enjoy.\u00a0 I enjoy her.\u201d\u00a0 So here\u2019s our problem.\u00a0 We\u2019re elevating sex to a position it shouldn\u2019t be.\u00a0 Sex is not a deal killer.\u00a0 There are a lot more beautiful things to relationships than sex and nudity and nakedness.\u00a0 So yes, date her.\u00a0 Those are good gospel lenses, yes you enjoy her.\u00a0 That\u2019s a gift. Because, I could put you in contact with some guys who married beautiful.\u00a0 And as they sobbed themselves to sleep, more lonely than they ever imagined, you might be encouraged.\u00a0 So, I say, yes.\u00a0 Date her.\u00a0 Woo her.\u00a0 I love it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow do I explain to my future spouse that I will not be able to give her children, due to health reasons?\u00a0 Will we have less sex?\u201d\u00a0 To answer your second question, I have no idea.\u00a0 Maybe you will, maybe you won\u2019t.\u00a0 To answer your first, I think you owe this to them pretty early.\u00a0 I\u2019m not saying first date early.\u00a0 \u201cThanks for meeting me here.\u00a0 I can\u2019t give you children.\u201d\u00a0 But I think as the relationship becomes more serious, I think you owe this to them very early.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what you have to do.\u00a0 You have to throw yourself on their grace, and God\u2019s grace, and that\u2019s what you\u2019ve got.\u00a0 And really, there are a lot of areas in life that you have to do this on.\u00a0 Now, this one is deep.\u00a0 But, we\u2019ve got guys on our staff that are bringing things into the marriage from past experiences that they\u2019re having to tell their wife, \u201cI\u2019m bringing this into the marriage.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be complex.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou just have to throw yourself on the grace and mercy of Christ and trust that if she\u2019s a godly woman, she\u2019ll be able to wrestle through this.\u00a0 And that you\u2019ll be patient and let her wrestle.\u00a0 But I think you need to confess this pretty early on, and just be really honest.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat do you do if your Christian friend is sexually active?\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019d go Matthew 18, is what I\u2019d do.\u00a0 This means, I\u2019d set them down and go, \u201cThis is a sin, this is where in scripture it says it\u2019s a sin, you are outside the bounds, you need to repent of this sin.\u201d\u00a0 If they say, \u201cYes, I know, I don\u2019t care,\u201d then I come back with another friend.\u00a0 If they still go, \u201cYes I know, I don\u2019t care,\u201d then I come back with three.\u00a0 If he says it again, I give him over to the pastors and elders.\u00a0 That\u2019s what you do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, if they\u2019re repentant, then praise God.\u00a0 If they\u2019re repentant, then praise God.\u00a0 If you sit down with them and you go, \u201cYou know this is a sin\u2026\u201d They go, \u201cI know\u201d and they repent and they cry, then praise His name.\u00a0 Praise His name.\u00a0 But I\u2019d go Matthew 18, that\u2019s what you do.\u00a0 You should love them enough to do that, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat should I do if I am currently being sexually abused by a family member?\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how many of you know this, but I there was sexual abuse in my home growing up.\u00a0 Here is what I would strongly recommend you to do.\u00a0 You need to tell someone.\u00a0 And you need to do it quickly.\u00a0 I would say to you, this is not your fault, and you have not brought this on yourself.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t know who to tell, you tell us, and we\u2019ll take it from there.\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is not your fault, and you did not ask for this.\u00a0 Whoever this is, is a sick perverse, hurt person. You need to let us know, and we\u2019ve got to get you out.\u00a0 The consequences of their action is not yours to carry.\u00a0 Are you tracking with me?\u00a0 You need to get out, and in so doing they will have an opportunity to heal and so will you.\u00a0 This is not your fault.\u00a0 You did nothing to incite this.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWhat about homosexuality?\u00a0 Do they choose this or were they born with this?\u201d\u00a0 Homosexuality is a picture on the canvas of creation of man\u2019s rebellion against God.\u00a0 Ephesians 5 says, that God put it into the heart of man to pursue the woman as a picture on the canvas of creation of God\u2019s pursuit of us.\u00a0 Romans 1 says, that homosexuality is the opposite side of that picture.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhich means that in response to man saying \u201cForget your way God, I\u2019ll take my way!\u201d that man desires man, and woman desires woman.\u00a0 So, follow me here, the greatest rebellion a man can paint on the canvas of creation is \u201cForget the woman I\u2019ll take myself.\u00a0 I\u2019ll take another man.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s the ultimate picture of self-exaltation, self-pursuit, and rebellion against God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, to answer the first one, it\u2019s not a preference, it\u2019s a sin.\u00a0 To answer the second one, \u201cBorn with this struggle or chosen by person to be?\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it matters.\u00a0 Because what we want to do here is say, \u201cWell if they\u2019re born with it, then you can\u2019t say it\u2019s wrong.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was born with an innate desire to sleep with every beautiful woman I see.\u00a0 And no one\u2019s going to go \u201cThat\u2019s, Okay.\u201d\u00a0 I was born with an innate desire to hurt people who don\u2019t give me what I want.\u00a0 My son has the same problem.\u00a0 He bites, pushes, and hits.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it changes anything one way or the other.\u00a0 The Fall is definitely so severe that it would have fractured even the DNA makeup of humanity.\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me say a couple of things.\u00a0 The Church has historically handled this sin, in a ridiculously biased and horrible way.\u00a0 There should be just as much patience, just as much grace, and just as much love for those who walk in same-sex attraction as there should be for those of us who struggle in any other way.\u00a0 We want to make one taboo over and above the rest.\u00a0 So, you end up getting this really weird, hypocritical place in the Church where a guy can sleep around with a woman and we just slap him on the wrist, but you let this one\u2026 we\u2019re just grossed out by it this, and he can\u2019t be a part of the church.\u2014Shame on us for that.\u00a0 Shame on us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, next question.\u00a0 \u201cWhat if you don\u2019t really like to have sex, but your husband does?\u00a0 How do you honor God in that?\u201d\u00a0 Two things: more than likely, there is a reason you don\u2019t like sex.\u00a0 It\u2019s emotional, it\u2019s mental, it\u2019s spiritual\u2026 there is a reason you don\u2019t like sex, because you were actually designed to enjoy sex.\u00a0 If you are a woman, you were given nerve endings, and you were designed to enjoy sex.\u00a0 It was a gift to you.\u00a0 He did not just give sex as a gift to the man.\u00a0 Are you tracking with that?\u00a0 Sex was a gift to both.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I would encourage you to seek a little bit of help on this question.\u00a0 Whether that\u2019s in recovery or through biblical counseling, or to sit down with someone who can serve as a guide for you and walk you through.\u00a0 What is it that makes you dislike it when the subject of sex comes up?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDo you still think it\u2019s dirty?\u00a0 Were you abused early in life?\u00a0 Do we maybe need to talk to your husband?\u00a0 Like, \u201cTake a shower, cut your nails.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m being serious.\u00a0 Is this a physical issue?\u00a0 Is your husband gross?\u00a0 Ladies is that not legitimate?\u00a0 That\u2019s legitimate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do you honor God in that?\u00a0 You grow in your sanctification.\u00a0 And as we already read First Corinthians; you don\u2019t deprive your husband.\u00a0 You don\u2019t deprive your husband?\u00a0 You would serve him in this.\u00a0 You still have got to go get help.\u00a0 You have got to sit down with somebody.\u00a0 Please don\u2019t be embarrassed.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTons of people have sexual issues in regards to their fear, how they clench up. Or, how they were able to make out and do all those things before they got married, and now they\u2019re in that marriage, and everything has tightened up and they don\u2019t know why.\u00a0 They just freeze up and get nervous and can\u2019t let go.\u00a0 Some if might be your husband, but there might be some issues that you really need to work through.\u00a0 But I want you to hear me say:\u00a0 Sex was given to you also to enjoy.\u00a0 And so, I would sit down with someone and get to the bottom of this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cHow do you heal a woman\u2019s heart, restore interest in sex after abuse rape? How about abuse through pornography?\u201d\u00a0 This is such a great question, my heart hurts so badly for whoever sent it in.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to answer it for the man, and then I\u2019m going to answer it for the woman, not knowing which way a woman\u2019s heart\u2026 Here\u2019s how a man helps heal a woman\u2019s heart who has been abused and raped.\u00a0 By loving, encouraging, being tender with, being sweet to, never pouting, and always pursuing her heart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe woman must at some point in all of that that patient, loving, longsuffering, seek and find help.\u00a0 The most painful lesson a man learns in marriage is that his love is inadequate to heal the wounds of his wife\u2019s heart.\u00a0 He patiently, lovingly encourages, they go to counseling together.\u00a0 He finds encouragement from other men that encourage him in what will be longsuffering.\u00a0 This is how a man rescues the heart of his wife.\u00a0 Sometimes it takes 20, 25 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMen, pornography will absolutely destroy you.\u00a0 Please get help.\u00a0 Quit playing this game.\u00a0 You\u2019re not going to fix yourself, it\u2019s been too long.\u00a0 Ladies, you know actually, the fastest growing market for pornography right now is women.\u00a0 Get help, this is going to own you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor those of you ladies, who even though your husband is gentle and nice and loving, get cold when he pursues you sexually, go get help.\u00a0 Show up at recovery, go see a biblical counselor, because something\u2019s gone wrong.\u00a0 God gave you this to enjoy.\u00a0 It\u2019s not right.\u00a0 That\u2019s being taken from you by what is dark and evil.\u00a0 Don\u2019t resign yourself to that.\u00a0 Don\u2019t resign yourself to that.\u00a0 You want all that God has gifted you with.\u00a0 Ferociously pursue that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYoung single women, help our boys grow up.\u00a0 I\u2019m doing my part.\u00a0 I\u2019m doing all I can do here, alright?\u00a0 You still have a lot more power than I do.\u00a0 Help them grow up.\u00a0 Be patient, wait for a godly man.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, again we\u2019ve been listening today to Matt Chandler, responding to questions that were presented to him following a presentation he did on a Friday night at the Village Church in Dallas, Texas back last October.\u00a0 He spoke for about 45 minutes on the subject of God and sex and then handled questions that came via slips of paper or text messages.\u00a0 It\u2019s good to hear someone with a pastor\u2019s heart who doesn\u2019t pull punches.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, it really is.\u00a0 You know the troubling thing to me is as I really listen to these questions, is, the culture that we\u2019re all living in and how it is abusing a whole generation of young people who are starting out their marriages and families.\u00a0 If you are struggling in your marriage, or if you are a single person and you, perhaps had something that was brought to mind as Matt was answering these questions, let me encourage you, don\u2019t allow that evil to overcome you.\u00a0 Seek out some godly counsel and get in the process of trying to find some perspective and solutions for it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I always think of the verse.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s in Isaiah where God\u2019s redemption is pictured as bringing beauty from ashes.\u00a0 For a lot of people, the sexual past, whether it\u2019s been because of pornography or because of sexual abuse, or promiscuity, there are a lot of ashes left on the heap God can restore.\u00a0 God can bring beauty from those ashes and can redeem even a sexual relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, and I\u2019m glad you used the word redeem Bob.\u00a0 Because, we\u2019re all broken.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you something, if you grew up in this culture, you\u2019ve been abused.\u00a0 There\u2019s a lot of things taking place on the internet today, and movies, magazines, just because it exists.\u00a0 It impacts the way we think about our bodies, the way we think about sex and how God designed it, and we can bring that warped perspective into a marriage relationship and it can do harm, it can divide a couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, and that\u2019s one of the reasons we encourage folks to renew their minds on this subject to really think more biblically about relationships and romance, and sex.\u00a0 We want to recommend a couple of resources that we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s great book by Dr. Daniel Akin.\u00a0 Danny is the president of Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, so you\u2019ve got a solidly biblical book that\u2019s titled <em>God on Sex<\/em>, and yet it\u2019s a very readable book, it\u2019s something that any couple can read and benefit from.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, you\u2019ll find information about it online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 We also have copies of a great book for husbands. It\u2019s a short book.\u00a0 It\u2019s about 120 pages long.\u00a0 But, C.J. Mahaney has written a book called <em>Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God: What every Christian husband needs to know.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>There\u2019s a chapter in here from C.J.\u2019s wife Carolyn that\u2019s written for our wives as well, and I would recommend this as a book that guys ought to read to get a more biblical understanding of an important subject.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, there\u2019s more information about both of these resources on our website FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can go there for more information.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800 F as in \u201cfamily\u201d L as in \u201clife\u201d and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mentioned this earlier but I just want to say it again.\u00a0 Please keep Matt Chandler and his wife Lauren in your prayers, and their entire family.\u00a0 And the church family at the Village Church in Dallas as well, as Matt continues to undergo treatment for a recently diagnosed brain tumor.\u00a0 Ask God to intervene and to bring healing to Matt and to bring him many more years of fruitful ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, as we\u2019re wrapping things up this week, we want to say thanks to those listeners who not only listen, but who from time to time will go online or pick up the phone and call and say, \u201cWe want to cheer you guys on, we want to help out with a donation for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, because what you\u2019re doing is making a difference, and it\u2019s important, and we believe in you, and we want to stand with you.\u201d\u00a0 You guys know who you are, and we appreciate your financial support.\u00a0 We are listener supported.\u00a0 Without those phone calls or those visits to our website, to make an occasional donation, we could not continue the work that we do here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, if you\u2019re able to make a donation of any amount, we\u2019d like to say thank you by sending you a copy of a CD that features Jodi and Linda Dillow talking about marital intimacy.\u00a0 It\u2019s a message that\u2019s taken from the Song of Solomon and was presented a number of months ago at an event that we were hosting.\u00a0 It was very well received at that event, and we want to make the CD available to you this month when you make a donation of any amount to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you donate online, at FamilyLifeToday.com, and you\u2019d like to receive the CD, type the word \u201cFOUR\u201d in the key code box on the online donation form.\u00a0 Or, if you\u2019re calling to make a donation, 1-800-FLTODAY, just ask for the CD on intimacy or the CD we were talking about on the radio.\u00a0 They\u2019ll know what you mean and again we\u2019re happy to send it out to you.\u00a0 We appreciate you listening.\u00a0 We appreciate your support, and we want to say thanks, for your partnership with us here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend, hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend.\u00a0 And, we hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about how you can get your young adult sons and daughters ready for the next stage of life.\u00a0 How you can make them college ready.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if you have a high school junior or senior, you\u2019ll want to make sure you\u2019re tuned in. even if it\u2019s a few years away it wouldn\u2019t hurt you to start thinking about it now.\u00a0 So I hope you can join us on Monday for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Phil Krause and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Have a great weekend.\u00a0 See you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301982","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301982"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301982"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301982"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301982"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301982"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301982"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301982"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}