{"id":301980,"date":"2010-02-09T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-02-09T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/feed-the-fire-of-romance\/"},"modified":"2010-02-09T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-02-09T17:00:00","slug":"feed-the-fire-of-romance","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/feed-the-fire-of-romance\/","title":{"rendered":"Feed the Fire of Romance"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dennis Rainey encourages couples to feed the fire of romance in their marriages.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-02-09.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"12.42M","filesize_raw":"13018512","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2903,2088],"tags":[4714],"podcast_series":[7432],"cwp_profile":[3142,3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301980","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-infidelity","category-romance-and-sex","tag-romance","podcast_series-romance-in-the-rain","cwp_profile-bob-lepine","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301980\/feed-the-fire-of-romance","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301980\/feed-the-fire-of-romance","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"jnqRb7n4BP\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/feed-the-fire-of-romance\/\">Feed the Fire of Romance<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/feed-the-fire-of-romance\/embed\/#?secret=jnqRb7n4BP\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Feed the Fire of Romance&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"jnqRb7n4BP\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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marriages.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-02-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When it comes to having a fire in the fireplace, do you prefer those instance logs that are easy and quick, or do you like a real wood fire?\u00a0 According to Dennis Rainey, if a fire in the fireplace is like romance in a marriage, then the kind of fuel you prefer may depend on whether you're a man or a woman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What are men looking for when they think about starting a fire?\u00a0 They are looking for fire starters \u2013 quick fire starters.\u00a0 Women, on the other hand, have different needs.\u00a0 Women want a real relationship.\u00a0 They're not interested in a fake fire log.\u00a0 They want the snap, crackle, and pop of a real relationship with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition.\u00a0 I was just out at your house.\u00a0 You've got a real fireplace, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have a fireplace and a fire pit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You've got the wood burning \u2013 I'm talking about in the house \u2013 that wood burning fireplace, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You burn real logs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's not illegal in Arkansas like it is in many places around the country. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You burn real logs in there, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you ever throw in the prefab thing and just light the corners?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, so I can get the fire going to start the green \u2013 you know, sometimes you cut wood that's kind of green, and it takes those wax-saturated sawdust logger things to do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But we're guys who like our fires to get going quick, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think so \u2013 in more ways than one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You're speaking romantically, aren't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's exactly what I'm talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And that's what \u2013 I had the privilege to speak a number of folks out in Southern California when you and I had the chance to go out and be a part of KKLA's 20th anniversary.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, as a part of their year-long celebration, they had Alistair Begg and Chuck Swindoll and Steve Arterburn and Chip Ingram, a number of different speakers come out and speak throughout the year, and we went in August that year and had a great evening with, I don't know, it was 1,200 to 1,500 of our listeners who came out, and you talked about \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 starting fires.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You talked about romance \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 maintaining fires \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 and keeping \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 keeping the fire in your fire pit \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 keeping it contained within the appropriate boundaries, as we've already heard this week, and then \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 this is a biblical concept, Bob.\u00a0 Song of Solomon, chapter 8, verse 6 says, \"Put me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm, for love is as strong as death, jealousy as severe as Sheol, its flashes are the flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord.\u00a0 Many waters cannot quench it nor will rivers overflow it.\u00a0 If a man were to give all his riches of his house for love, it would utterly be despised.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat he's saying there is the sexual and romantic dimension of a marriage relationship is powerful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And part of what you said that night is that we have to understand that as men and women, we approach this whole subject differently.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 [from audiotape] We are different when it comes to starting a fire.\u00a0 Have you noticed?\u00a0 What are men looking for when they think about starting a fire?\u00a0 They are looking for fire starters \u2013 quick fire starters.\u00a0 Women, on the other hand, have different needs.\u00a0 They're not looking for fire starters.\u00a0 They're looking for something else and, guys, this is not what they're looking for \u2013 a fire log.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, why is this not what they're looking for?\u00a0 All you need to do is read the directions.\u00a0 \"Loosen the wrapper around the fire log to create an air space.\u00a0 Do not open the wrapper.\u00a0 Place the fire log on the grate near the rear of the fireplace, use only one log at a time, and do not add anything to the fire log.\"\u00a0 It goes on to tell you that there are arrows, which tell you where to place the fire.\u00a0 Men want arrows; women want a real relationship.\u00a0 They're not interested in a fake fire log.\u00a0 They want the snap, crackle, and pop of a real relationship with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, guys, because I'm going to give the women a list of five things here in a moment, and you're probably going to want her to write those down, I'm going to encourage you right now to write down five things every woman needs.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you don't think your wife doesn't need this, just take a look at what the Apostle Paul said in Ephesians, chapter 5.\u00a0 He says, \"Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.\"\u00a0 Verse 33 \u2013 \"Let each individual among you love his own wife even as himself.\"\u00a0 Then he gives the wife different instructions about what she is to do for the husband.\u00a0 But, guys, our assignment is relational.\u00a0 It\u2019s the real thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFive things she's looking for \u2013 number one, she's looking for security.\u00a0 She wants domestic security.\u00a0 She wants to know there is relational security.\u00a0 She wants to know she can count on you.\u00a0 Guys, your wedding band is a promise \u2013 is a promise of a covenant.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a young man that I'm mentoring who is in the ministry, and each night after he would go to bed, he would take off his wedding ring and go to sleep because he didn't like to sleep with his wedding ring on. Well, he lost his wedding ring and he didn't replace it for about three weeks.\u00a0 His wife began to act kind of insecure about things, and I said \u2013 I'll call him Jim \u2013 \"Jim, why haven't you bought a wedding ring?\"\u00a0 \"I didn't think it was that important.\"\u00a0 \"Well, I'm going to tell you something, it's important to her.\u00a0 If it's important to her, it needs to be important to you.\"\u00a0 Guys, security, security is a part of a real relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second need of a woman is for acceptance.\u00a0 She needs to know that you love her for who she is not for what she does.\u00a0 She needs to know that you'd marry her all over again.\u00a0 Third, every wife feels the need for time to connect.\u00a0 She feels the need to have quality time and quantity time to reconnect emotionally with you.\u00a0 We're interested in the fire starter and the instant fire.\u00a0 She wants the slow cultivation of a fire that has warmth for hours.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe fourth thing she's looking for is a real relationship.\u00a0 She wants to know more about your day than the two-minute news headlines.\u00a0 Yes, she wants the <em>Gone With the Wind<\/em> version.\u00a0 The four-hour, full-length feature film about your day, and you find it difficult to even get two minutes out.\u00a0 She wants to take a walk with you and develop that relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, fifth, she needs attention.\u00a0 She needs focus.\u00a0 As you give her that attention and focus, she needs to know that that attention and focus is for something other than sex; that you want a real relationship with her because of your love for her and your affection for her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, become a student of your wife and what she needs.\u00a0 Do you know what I'd encourage you to do with these five?\u00a0 Give these to your wife and ask her to rank them, number one to number five, in order of greatest importance and then on a date talk about why she rated them what she did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn Ephesians, chapter 5, verse 33 it says, \"and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.\"\u00a0 Paul gives men different instruction biblically than he gives wives.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because we're different.\u00a0 He made us with different needs, and men need respect.\u00a0 Now, wives know that men are wired differently, and we searched around here in Southern California to find these, because this is the best illustration of what men are like.\u00a0 This is what's called \"fat wood.\"\u00a0 Fat wood \u2013 if you've never used it to start a fire, is fantastic, because it is soaked in resin, oils.\u00a0 I don't know where this grows and how they harvest it, but I'm going to tell you, I've used this to start a fire, and it starts quick.\u00a0 It is an illustration of how men are wired.\u00a0 They're like a whole box of fat wood.\u00a0 The fire starts quick and burns out quickly as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFive things, ladies, you want to write these down?\u00a0 Five needs of your husband, and the reason I know this is important, because FamilyLife has a little spot on our Internet that we e-mail out to those who want to get a subscription to it called <em>The Family Room<\/em>.\u00a0 We won the top award you could win for Internet Magazine's \u2013 out of all the Christian ministries with <em>The Family Room.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe number-one article we've had in all the years we've been putting <em>The Family Room<\/em> out, which is about five years, was responded to by women, I suppose.\u00a0 It was entitled, \"Five Keys to Your Man's Inner Heart.\"\u00a0 It could have been retitled, \"Five Ways to Cultivate the Fire in Your Man's Heart.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one, he needs respect.\u00a0 He needs respect for who he is, what he does, and he needs respect for how God wired him as a man.\u00a0 Secondly, he needs you to make romance a priority \u2013 for you to make romance a priority.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThird, as a man, he needs to feel sexually needed by his wife.\u00a0 That means at points that you initiate romance.\u00a0 I\u2019ll never forget speaking at Talbot Seminary to a group of wives Barbara was with me and we were talking about romance and marriage.\u00a0 One little seminary wife came up to Barbara and me at the end of the talk and she said, Mr. Rainey I just need to ask you a question.\u00a0 I asked my husband what would make him feel like a man of God.\u00a0 They were driving home after youth group where he\u2019s a pastor and going through seminary.\u00a0 The car was dark and I was kind of cuddling with him and you know what he said, Mr. Rainey.\u00a0 I said, \u201cno.\u201d\u00a0 He told me what he would like to do is come home from church some day from work or from school and find me naked at the front door.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe has this little sheepish grin on her face and she asked, do you think he really meant it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, sweetheart, just try it and find out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat answer to that young man\u2019s statement what would most make you feel like a man of God is the equivalent of him with the vacuum cleaner.\u00a0\u00a0 I think you\u2019re sexy when you are doing the vacuum cleaner.\u00a0 One time Mary Ann told Bob she thought he was sexy when he was doing the dishes.\u00a0 He asked to do the dishes for the next month and a half at their house.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThird, he needs to feel sexually needed.\u00a0 Fourth, he needs your playful, adventurous companionship.\u00a0 Do you know what happens in marriage after marriage?\u00a0 We allow boredom and monotony to rob our marriage of romance and adventure.\u00a0 We get in a rut and you know what a rut is, don't you?\u00a0 It's a grave with both ends knocked out of it.\u00a0 And people get in ruts.\u00a0 We're creatures of habit.\u00a0 We need to break out of the ruts and become adventuresome, fun, and imaginative.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, finally, fifth, he needs your sexual affirmation when it comes to building a fire \u2013 your sexual affirmation.\u00a0 He needs you to be responsive to him when he initiates, and when he hits a homerun, express it.\u00a0 Tell him.\u00a0 There is not a man here who will tell his wife to be quiet.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI ran across this piece that points out the differences between men and women.\u00a0 How do you romance a woman?\u00a0 You wine her and dine her and call her and hug her and support her and surprise her and compliment her.\u00a0 Smile at her, listen to her, laugh with her, cry with her, romance her, believe in her, cuddle with her, shop with her, give her jewelry, buy her flowers, hold her hand, write love letters to her.\u00a0 Go to the end of the earth and back for her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow do you romance a man?\u00a0 Arrive naked and bring food.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWould you like to know what Barbara and I have found is the equivalent of the real fire starter?\u00a0 I've started many a fire in our fire pit when the wood was wet with good old Kingsford charcoal lighter\u00a0\u00a0 You spray and get that wood good and wet \u2013 I'm not much of a Boy Scout at that point, but you just throw a match on it, and it lights right away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber five, time and focus.\u00a0 Time and focus are some of the best fire starters in a marriage relationship.\u00a0 You know why?\u00a0 Because fires, whether they be real fires in a fire pit or fires in the human heart, the passion and romance go out when they are not tended well and fed with fuel.\u00a0 If you are wondering why there isn't much romance in your marriage, take a step back and ask how much fresh fuel have you brought to that fire?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found that three things can extinguish a fire.\u00a0 Number one, neglect; number two, stress and exhaustion; and the third one is right here.\u00a0 This is the most unbelievable fire extinguisher you have ever seen.\u00a0 It can squirt on a fire so quickly.\u00a0\u00a0 We had one woman write us on the broadcast.\u00a0 She said it was romance that gave us our children, and it was children who took our romance.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you've got some of these around, you've got to work extra hard to get a fire going.\u00a0 So turn off the TV and the lights and light up a candle.\u00a0 Turn up the air conditioner, guys, turn back the sheets, turn on the music, turn in early and go to bed by 9:00.\u00a0 Turn toward one another and turn on the romantic fires.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber six create romantic adventure, surprise, and intrigue.\u00a0 If you go back to the Song of Solomon and you read it over in chapter 7, the Shulamite woman said, \"I and my beloved and his desire is for me.\u00a0 Come, my beloved, let us go out into the country, and let us spend the night there.\u00a0 Let us arise early and go to the vineyards and see whether the vine has budded and its blossoms have opened, whether the pomegranates have bloomed, and there I will give you my love.\"\u00a0 You talk about a horticultural experience \u2013 she was inviting him on a picnic that I'll bet you the king never forgot.\u00a0 She was adventuresome, she was not afraid to edge out, and in the process she added some big logs to the fire.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara has given me a lot of great gifts over her lifetime, none greater than herself, and the greatest gift she has ever given me at Christmas \u2013 and I'll not tell you any more than this, and I have her permission to tell this story \u2013 but she gave me a gift called the \"The Twelve Nights of Christmas.\"\u00a0 Why do affairs happen?\u00a0 Because we get bored and we are no longer cultivating a fire in here. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe last one \u2013 and this is kind of a tough one, and I hate to end on a negative one, but I really think it's very important for many here.\u00a0 Number seven \u2013 adjust your expectations \u2013 adjust your expectations.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 Wood does get wet.\u00a0 It gets wet, and it's difficult, even with fire starter, to get a good fire going.\u00a0 Realize that there are going to be times in your marriage and in your life when it's going to be difficult to see passion occur.\u00a0 There may be a downpour and there may be an extended time of suffering.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn our marriage there has been numerous health issues, there's been challenges with children who haven't always made the right choices.\u00a0 You've heard Bob and me talk about it on the radio broadcasts on numerous times.\u00a0 But it's then when the commitment and the covenant kicks in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I have had a son who was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy and lost his ability to run.\u00a0 The most athletic child we had, at 13 years of age, who was falling flat on his face on the tennis court.\u00a0 And I\u2019m going to tell you something, during that period of time, there weren't many romantic fires.\u00a0 But it was a time to hunker together and to hold one another and to remind one another of our love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, again, we've been listening to part 2 of a message on romance in the rain, and \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can almost count on the rain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does come \u2013 into every life a little rain will fall, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really will.\u00a0 You know, Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond and the famous song that they sang together \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 [sings] \"You don't bring me flowers\" \u2026 that one?\u00a0 Yeah, \"You don't sing me love songs.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \"You hardly talk to me anymore when you come through the door,\" and it's talking about the death of a relationship.\u00a0 Bob, everything we do here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is talking about relationships.\u00a0 Either your relationship with God through Jesus Christ, your relationship with your spouse, your relationship with your children or your extended family.\u00a0 We are here to bring the practical, biblical solutions to bring hope and healing where people need encouragement or just want to add another log to the fire \u2013 they're already doing okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn closing today\u2019s broadcast I want to suggest three practical ways that couples can build a fire in the rain.\u00a0 The first one is get a copy of a book that Barbara and I wrote called <em>Rekindling the Romance.<\/em>\u00a0 It's a practical book that Barbara and I wrote together.\u00a0 She wrote the first half, I wrote the second half, and I promise you, it's a gritty book that talks about real life and how you can bring real romance to a marriage that may be struggling or to a marriage that is doing fine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You wrote it that was because in the first half Barbara is speaking to wives, and in the second half you're speaking to husbands, and throughout the book you're trying to help us understand that we're different when we approach this subject and that embracing those differences and understanding those differences can help fuel the passion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And if you're going to add a log or two to the fire, it takes some intentionality.\u00a0 You have to have some focus, and you have to say, \"You know what?\u00a0 We're going to keep this thing burning.\"\u00a0 But to do that, you have to take time away, and you have to focus on our relationship, and that really leads me to the second application <em>Simply Romantic Nights<\/em>.\u00a0 This little collection of ideas, it's a box that has a dozen ideas for the guys, and you don't have to be a romantically challenged husband to benefit from these 12 ideas, because they're great ideas or 12 creative ideas for wives.\u00a0 It will encourage you, as you put together a statement of romantic love for your spouse in their love langue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then the third application is the Weekend to Remember\u00ae.\u00a0 I think there are many listeners right now who have heard you and me talk about the Weekend to Remember\u00ae for a number of years and perhaps this Valentine's, instead of candy, instead of flowers, instead of anything else, you need to wrap up an invitation to go to the Weekend to Remember\u00ae and take some time this spring when the flowers are blooming and, by the way, Song of Solomon talks about this.\u00a0 When the birds are chirping outside, and they're beginning the process of the spring when love buds again, why not take some time this spring to get away to a Weekend to Remember\u00ae near you and sign you and your spouse up and build a little fire in the ring.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As a matter of fact you and Barbara are going to be speaking at a Weekend to Remember\u00ae conference this weekend Valentine\u2019s weekend in the Washington, D.C. area at the Gaylord National hotel.\u00a0 I think we still have some space available if folks would like to come out and join you for the weekend.\u00a0 Michael and Cindy Easley are going to be speaking there as well along with Ray McKelvy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then I\u2019m going to be speaking at the conference out in Hershey, Pennsylvania.\u00a0 So if folks live in that area and want to come out and join us we would love to have you out there.\u00a0 Other conferences are taking place all across the country.\u00a0 Because it\u2019s Valentine\u2019s weekend a lot of couples are going to be out joining us but then throughout the spring we have conferences in six or seven dozen different cities this spring.\u00a0 You can get more information about the Weekend to Remember\u00ae online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 There is also information there about Dennis and Barbara\u2019s book, <em>Rekindling the Romance<\/em>.\u00a0 We have a limited supply of those books available so let me encourage listeners to order early to make sure they get a copy of that book.\u00a0 Simply Romantic Nights collection you can find out more information about that as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 Again that\u2019s 1-800-F-as-in-\u201cfamily,\u201d L-as-in-\u201clife,\u201d and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 Someone on our team will make arrangements to get what you need sent out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile we're on the subject of romantic resources, our friends, Jody and Linda Dillow, a number of years ago were speaking at one of our FamilyLife events, and they did a great message on the <em>Four Flames of Intimacy<\/em>.\u00a0 They took a hard biblical look at the subject of romance and passion and helped us think the way God thinks about this subject.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have the CD of that message available, and during the month of February, we want to make it available to any listener who can make a donation of any amount to the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We are listener-supported, and so it's those donations from listeners like you that help keep us on the air in this city and in cities all across the country, and you can donate either online at FamilyLife.com or by calling 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you're donating online, when you come to the key code box on the donation form, type in the word \u201cFOUR\u201d and we'll know that you want the CD from Jody and Linda Dillow, or call 1-800-FLTODAY, make a donation over the phone, and just mention that you'd like the CD on intimacy, and we'll be happy to send it to you.\u00a0 Again, thanks for your financial support of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow we\u2019re going to talk to a professor of Christian history.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about some of the great love stories in church history.\u00a0 This is really fascinating.\u00a0 Dr. Michael Haykin is going to be with us tomorrow and I hope you can be with us as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301980","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301980"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301980"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301980"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301980"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301980"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301980"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301980"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}