{"id":301964,"date":"2010-01-20T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-01-20T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/hope-in-the-darkness\/"},"modified":"2010-01-20T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-01-20T17:00:00","slug":"hope-in-the-darkness","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hope-in-the-darkness\/","title":{"rendered":"Hope in the Darkness"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In the United States, 1.3 women are raped every minute.  Hear Wendy share how she overcame her fear and even found forgiveness for her attacker.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-01-20.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"10.98M","filesize_raw":"11510638","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2848,2873],"tags":[4584,5090,5088,5091],"podcast_series":[7702],"cwp_profile":[9187],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301964","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cultural-issues","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","tag-fear","tag-overcoming","tag-rape","tag-sexual-assault","podcast_series-hidden-joy","cwp_profile-wendy-blight","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301964\/hope-in-the-darkness","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301964\/hope-in-the-darkness","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"u8ckBIQhux\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hope-in-the-darkness\/\">Hope in the Darkness<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/hope-in-the-darkness\/embed\/#?secret=u8ckBIQhux\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Hope in the Darkness&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"u8ckBIQhux\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-01-20.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-01-20.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0Before you introduce Wendy Blight to our listeners.\u00a0 We have been encouraging them all this month to spend some time together as a couple or as a family each day in God\u2019s word throughout 2010.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Reading the Bible.\u00a0 You do it in the morning, before you go to school, maybe.\u00a0 Some families may want to do it on the way to school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, you use to do that, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I use to do that and pray for our kids.\u00a0 Maybe, it will be at the end of the day or at the dinner table.\u00a0 Perhaps as you go to bed with your spouse, just a brief time of reading the scripture and talking about it a bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You have been pointing us to a particular scripture each day so far this year.\u00a0 The scripture you are pointing us to is the one in that you use in your daily devotional <em>Moments With You<\/em> that you and your wife Barbara wrote so what is today\u2019s scripture?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0First Corinthians 13: 7.\u00a0 And everyone who knows 1<sup>st<\/sup> Corinthians 13 knows that\u2019s the love chapter.\u00a0 Love bares all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures\u2019 all things.\u00a0 You know this is a great verse for any family, for that matter, any person who is going through a difficult time to remember the truth.\u00a0 First of all about God\u2019s love for you.\u00a0 Secondly how we are to model this kind of love for those in our families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is a great verse to talk about all these things it says love does.\u00a0 Love bares all things.\u00a0 Are you baring the weaknesses of your spouse?\u00a0 Believes all things; are you respecting your spouse and trusting them?\u00a0 Hopes all things; endures all things. Love is an expression of unconditional acceptance of another person and it does mean that when you speak the truth you speak it in love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPerhaps before the day is over you take these four things that are described about love and talk about what one thing your spouse could do to help you feel more loved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>If our listeners are interested these daily devotionals aresent out via email.\u00a0 You go to FamilyLifeToday.comand sign up to have the emails sent to you or you can get a copy of the book <em>Moments With You<\/em> by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 You will find information at our website at FamilyLifeToday.com about how you can receive a copy of the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow as I said we are going to be dealing with a theme today.\u00a0 Actually, we have been dealing with it all this week.\u00a0 A theme that parents may not want their younger children to be tuned in for because it revolves around a sexual assault that took place in the life of our guest Wendy Blight. This is a subject that somewhat surprisingly Dennis is more common than most of our listeners probably realize.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is, in fact some statistics around this subject indicate that between one in three and one in four women in America will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime.\u00a0 In fact America leads the world in terms of sexual assault and rape.\u00a0 We have a guest who has been willing to step forward and share a sensitive story but an honest story about her own experience.\u00a0 Wendy Blight joins us again.\u00a0 Wendy welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, thank you \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Thank you for sharing your story.\u00a0 Wendy was a trial lawyer for a number of years with three different firms before she started having children.\u00a0 She had a couple of them.\u00a0 She has been married to her husband Monty since 1987.\u00a0 She has written a book called <em>Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner:<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>The Transforming Power of God\u2019s Story<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWendy as we talk about these statistics they really are alarming.\u00a0 Rape is not one of these subjects that are talked about so a lot of it goes unreported, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 It goes unreported for many reasons.\u00a0 Sometimes, because what I talked about, the threat and the fear that the person will come back and hurt you again.\u00a0 Also, for many women especially in date rape situations because of shame or guilt which need not be there but it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I am guessing that most of the sexual assault that takes place; is that.\u00a0 It\u2019s a guy and a girl who are on a date and the guy becomes aggressive, and a girl says stop and he doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 She winds up being raped.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Those situations as well as the ones with the date rape drug where the girl is not necessarily there on a date but they\u2019re at a party or they\u2019re somewhere together.\u00a0 And she is the victim of the date rape drug in her drink.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, as we\u2019re talking here. Wendy, it occurs to me there may be some of our listeners that don\u2019t understand or know about the date rape drug and how it works but it really is prevalent on the college campuses and is now finding its way to high schools, correct?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Correct. What it is, is that just someone can\u00a0 drop this drug in a drink and then in a short time, I don\u2019t know what the time period\u00a0 is, the girl is basically unable to function very well.\u00a0 Then doesn\u2019t have a memory of what happens to her and then wakes up.\u00a0 Quite often, they\u2019ll find themselves on a bed or somewhere they don\u2019t remember being because they were taken there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You have been aware of this happening with girls in high school, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Just recently, I always talked with college girls.\u00a0 I have now been made aware of three situations where I live where there were young girls age 16 to 18 years who were the victim of the date rape drug.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In a lot of cases these rapes are never reported.\u00a0 The statistics I have indicate only 16% are ever brought forward to the police.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s correct.\u00a0 First of all, for the reasons that we talked about that they don\u2019t want to tell.\u00a0 Then, I think also the process that has to be gone through all the way to take something to court.\u00a0 Some people just don\u2019t want to go through all of that because they are already dealing with so much pain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am a dad. You\u2019re a mom.\u00a0 You have a 15 year old daughter, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What have you said to her so that she knows how to handle herself and be protected?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>Well, probably too much for a child.\u00a0 Having me for a mother is not a good thing and as well as her friends and her mother\u2019s friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell her most importantly as she\u2019s at an age now where people begin to have parties.\u00a0 She may go to parties next year or the next year and in college.\u00a0 My most important, I guess, advice I want to give to anyone who is going out to a place where they are going to have a drink in their hand.\u00a0 First don\u2019t let it out of your sight and if you put it down anywhere then don\u2019t come back and get it.\u00a0 Just get yourself another drink.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Whether its ice tea, a coke or something more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about rules for your daughter related to being out on a date with a guy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thankfully, she\u2019s not there yet being 15.\u00a0 When I talk about this I say we should always insure that when you\u2019re going out for the first time you can meet in a public place, meet them at the restaurant, have a great time there and then leave.\u00a0 You start to get to know somebody that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Or, if you insist on going on a date with someone you don\u2019t know then you make sure someone knows where you are at all times.\u00a0 What time you\u2019re going to get to the restaurant.\u00a0 What time you\u2019re leaving and where you go after that.\u00a0 Always make sure people know where you are, who you are with and what you\u2019re doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You say someone you don\u2019t know, what if it\u2019s a nice guy and you have gotten to know him at school?\u00a0 He seems like a good guy, maybe you\u2019ve gone out a couple of times.\u00a0 When can you think this is probably safe for us to go out and be alone together?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think the longer you date someone especially in a college situation, I mean, there is always going to be the kind of guy who can fool everybody.\u00a0 I think that after a few dates and if people know him or her, you can get to know someone\u2019s character and feel comfortable with them.\u00a0 So I would say the most important thing a women can do, we have a God given instinct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And for me, I\u2019ve shared with you how I saw that front door locked.\u00a0 I should have gone with my instinct and said that door is never locked.\u00a0 Gone to find Monty and said \u201cHey, can you come in my apartment?\u00a0 This just doesn\u2019t feel right.\u201d\u00a0 So, God gives us instincts and if something doesn\u2019t feel right or a person doesn\u2019t feel right then listen to that and run the other way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just have to say, don\u2019t be na\u00efve in thinking that because the young man makes a profession of faith in Christ or goes to youth group\u2026\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2026or shows up to Bible study that he\u2019s safe.\u00a0 Because\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Singles group.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 We are hearing more and more about young women who are assaulted by guys who show up at those groups.\u00a0 There are some guys who are predatory around Christian groups because they know that they will be trusted if they are showing up there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 These are subjects that we must discuss with our young people before they get into high school and go away to college.\u00a0 This is not rare.\u00a0 This is happening on Americas\u2019 college campuses today.\u00a0 This subject also occurs, though, in marriages.\u00a0 There are a number of women who are raped by their husband.\u00a0 Explain that phenomenon.\u00a0 That seems like that shouldn\u2019t be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 My only experience with that is when a few women have spoken to me after events that I have spoken at.\u00a0 I can\u2019t explain that.\u00a0 I do not understand, except for I wonder if these are the men who commit these rapes before they were married.\u00a0 Now there in a marriage relationship and they can\u2019t continue with other women so now they have their wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, obviously forcing anyone to be involved with you sexually, whether it\u2019s your wife, a date or a stranger.\u00a0 That does not square up with what the scriptures teaches us about how we are to act, how we are to love, and what godly character looks like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, exactly.\u00a0 While we\u2019re talking about the scripture, I know that in Wendy\u2019s situation, it was the word of God that was used to bring you to healing and hope and ultimately do a work in your heart.\u00a0 As I\u2019ve listened to your story my mind goes to a passage in Hebrews chapter 4 verse12.\u00a0 \u201cIt says for the word of God is living, and active and sharper than any two edged sword; piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow; able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve never thought of the word of God being a scalpel.\u00a0 That really is what it\u2019s describing and what you experienced in your own heart.\u00a0 The scriptures were used in your heart to go in and cut out the fear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did God do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>\u00a0Well, I can probably even tell you better with unforgiveness.\u00a0 I could not forgive, first God and could not forgive the man who raped me.\u00a0 I had a godly grandmother who spoke to me and said \u201cWendy, you will never heal from what\u2019s happened in your life if you don\u2019t forgive this man.\u201d\u00a0 I remember thinking \u201cHow could my godly grandmother ask me to forgive this man who did this to me!\u201d\u00a0 She pointed me to scripture on forgiveness and when God puts His word in front of you like that, that\u2019s a scalpel.\u00a0 That goes in and digs deep.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Tell us about that story of how you ultimately came to give up the right to punish him because that\u2019s what forgiveness is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 I so wanted revenge.\u00a0\u00a0 I didn\u2019t even realize that\u2019s what I wanted was revenge.\u00a0 So, the journey of learning how to forgive was so long.\u00a0 I would read those verses and I would say \u201cOkay, Lord I am ready to forgive.\u201d\u00a0 I just couldn\u2019t and I couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I sat with some words written by Beth Moore.\u00a0 Where she talked about God asking us to forgive someone is not asking us to forget what they\u2019ve done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s giving up the right to be the one to avenge it and handing that over to the Lord.\u00a0 All of a sudden, I don\u2019t know it washed over me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes that that\u2019s what I needed to do.\u00a0 I sat on the sofa and I remember saying out loud to this person I didn\u2019t even know who he was. It wasn\u2019t like he was in front of me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You never caught him, never determined who he was, so you didn\u2019t go to trial. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Correct.\u00a0 So, I had to say all this out loud with no one there but me.\u00a0 As I did, I wept in a way that I don\u2019t know that I\u2019ve ever done before.\u00a0 I forgave him and I named every single thing that he stole from me, my dignity, my worth, my value.\u00a0 I named it all.\u00a0 As I named it, it was like something was lifted off of me.\u00a0 It was Powerful!\u00a0 You can\u2019t explain it unless you\u2019ve been through it but it\u2019s the most amazing thing, to forgive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we don\u2019t realize in living in un-forgiveness is that scripture that talks about that root of bitterness.\u00a0 It infects every part of your life.\u00a0 I think that that\u2019s what was happening with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wendy, I am glad you allowed us to come and walk through with you that process because there are people listening to us right now.\u00a0 Perhaps some who have been raped and never told anybody.\u00a0 Perhaps, others, who were sexually assaulted through sexual abuse as a child, or emotional, physical abuse, maybe it\u2019s a relationship with your husband or your wife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re listening to your story and they\u2019re reflecting on their circumstances and they\u2019re realizing \u201cI\u2019ve got to do that.\u201d\u00a0 What you\u2019re admonishing them to do is go to the scripture and take a look at Christ\u2019s words who talks about forgiving seven times seventy, an infinite number of times giving up the right to punish and avenge.\u00a0 At a point and time, releasing that punishment and letting God ultimately settle the score.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was a particular night when you and the kids were alone.\u00a0 You\u2019ve already told us you didn\u2019t allow yourself to be alone.\u00a0 The fear was just overwhelming but on this particular night you said \u201cWe\u2019re going to stay alone and we\u2019re going to be okay, right?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 This was 13 years later after my attack.\u00a0 I had a routine whenever Monty would go out of town.\u00a0 I would go around the entire house and lock every door, set the alarm, turn every light on outside, keep all the lights on inside and turn on the televisions.\u00a0 It use to be that I even had my kids sleeping in the room with me and but I had them in their own rooms this night.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI decided I was really going to be a big girl.\u00a0 I prayed my verses and I called a friend named Meg.\u00a0 I told her that I was staying alone.\u00a0 I always did that.\u00a0 I always made sure I had someone praying for me that knew we were home alone.\u00a0 My routine was to always leave my television on and I laid down to go to bed.\u00a0 It was like the Lord impressed on me \u201cturn off the television.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember out loud saying\u201d I am not turning off the television Lord because I will hear every sound in the house.\u00a0 Just let me leave the T.V. on\u2019\u201d but it was heavy upon me to turn that television off.\u00a0 I had never done that and just lay in complete silence in all the years that I had finally been staying alone.\u00a0 So I had turned it off and as I lay there, I was waiting for that fear to just rise up in me and it didn\u2019t.\u00a0 As I laid there, I experienced the most amazing peace that I had not experienced in 13 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was this picture in my mind of a wall of angels around my house.\u00a0 I remember I just started to weep.\u00a0 I got out of my bed, knelt down on my knees and I just began to praise God. Because I forgot what this feeling was like.\u00a0 I had not had it for so long.\u00a0 It was the most joyous moment.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, when I got done with my crying and my praising God, I picked up the phone. It was probably midnight or so.\u00a0 I called my friend Meg.\u00a0 I said\u201d Meg! Meg!\u201d\u00a0 I told her what happened and I didn\u2019t hear anything on the other end of the phone. I thought \u201cMeg! Are you not excited for me?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said \u201cWendy, right when you hung up the phone with us Bill (her husband) and I prayed for a wall of angels to be around your house.\u00a0 I knew in that moment it was God and God alone that took away that fear because I saw that wall of angels.\u00a0 When she spoke those words it was as if the Lord was saying to me \u201cDon\u2019t ever think that this was a coincidence.\u00a0 Don\u2019t ever think it was the passage of time.\u00a0 But by My Words you have been healed.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am sorry listeners can\u2019t see your face as you say that because that peace and the joy that you experienced that night continues on.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want everyone out there listening to know that God is big enough.\u00a0 He is big enough for whatever you have.\u00a0 His word says it is health to our body and healing to our bones.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s a passage in 2<sup>nd<\/sup> Corinthians chapter 1 that you really remind me of also.\u00a0 It says we are to comfort others with the comfort with which we have been comforted.\u00a0 That\u2019s really what you\u2019ve done here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 It is what drives me.\u00a0 In the beginning when I was so afraid, to stand up in front of a room,\u00a0 Even today, to sit here with you it drains me so fully but at the same time I know it\u2019s what I\u2019m called to do.\u00a0 It\u2019s such a blessing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 God\u2019s using you in the lives of a lot of women.\u00a0 To bring that same joy that was hidden in your life forward to let them experience it, too.\u00a0 I just really appreciate your courage.\u00a0 I am grateful you\u2019re helping the Christian community.\u00a0 Those who are followers of Christ know how best to bring that same comfort and grace and joy to their friends.\u00a0 I appreciate you.\u00a0 Thanks for being with us Wendy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know we are going to hear from a lot of our listeners who have either experienced what you have experienced themselves or they know somebody who has.\u00a0 So, I think what you\u2019re doing here and I think what you written in your book is going to be used by God in a lot of situations.\u00a0 We have copies of the book in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center. It\u2019s called <em>Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go on line at FamilyLifeToday.com and request a copy or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 When you contact us we will let you know how you can get a copy of Wendy\u2019s book sent to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to take just a minute here before we wrap things up and let our listeners know, especially those of you who help support this ministry that we could not do this without you and we really do appreciate those of you who either from time to time will call or go online and make a donation, as you are able to do that and those of you who are lifetime legacy partners who\u00a0\u00a0 help support the ministry with a donation each month.\u00a0 We very much appreciate your partnership as well.\u00a0 <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener supported.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf it weren\u2019t for folks making donations we could not continue to air this program on this station or on other stations all across the country.\u00a0 You know every year there are folks for whatever reason they\u2019ve help support the ministry in the past who are not able to, circumstances have changed and again for whatever reason.\u00a0 They\u2019re just no longer able to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and that\u2019s why we are always hopeful there will be new listeners.\u00a0 Those of you have been tuned in for awhile but you\u2019ve never made a donation. We are hoping you\u2019ll consider a first time donation to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are able to do that this month we have a thank you gift we\u2019d like to send you. It\u2019s a two CD series that features a conversation we had a while back with Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, the author of the book <em>Love and Respect <\/em>and we\u2019d love\u00a0 to send those two CD\u2019s out to you as our thank you gift when you support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this month. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com just type the word \u201cRESPECT\u201d\u2019 in the key code box that you find on the online donation form. If you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation just ask for the CD\u2019s on Love and Respect and we\u2019ll make sure to get those to you.\u00a0 Again thanks to those of you who are able to help with the donation. We do appreciate your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow tomorrow we are going to talk about an exciting 2<sup>nd<\/sup> year event that\u2019s coming up in 2010. It\u2019s going to be taking place in the fall.\u00a0 It\u2019s the National Bible Bee.\u00a0 We will let you know all the details.\u00a0 You can find out how your kids can be a part of this year\u2019s competition.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in.\u00a0 I want to thank out engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0On behalf of our host Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["10.98M"],"filesize_raw":["11510638"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-301964.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-301964.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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the United States, 1.3 women are raped every minute. Hear Wendy share how she overcame her fear and even found forgiveness for her attacker.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-01-20.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0Before you introduce Wendy Blight to our listeners.\u00a0 We have been encouraging them all this month to spend some time together as a couple or as a family each day in God\u2019s word throughout 2010.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Reading the Bible.\u00a0 You do it in the morning, before you go to school, maybe.\u00a0 Some families may want to do it on the way to school.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, you use to do that, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I use to do that and pray for our kids.\u00a0 Maybe, it will be at the end of the day or at the dinner table.\u00a0 Perhaps as you go to bed with your spouse, just a brief time of reading the scripture and talking about it a bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You have been pointing us to a particular scripture each day so far this year.\u00a0 The scripture you are pointing us to is the one in that you use in your daily devotional <em>Moments With You<\/em> that you and your wife Barbara wrote so what is today\u2019s scripture?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0First Corinthians 13: 7.\u00a0 And everyone who knows 1<sup>st<\/sup> Corinthians 13 knows that\u2019s the love chapter.\u00a0 Love bares all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures\u2019 all things.\u00a0 You know this is a great verse for any family, for that matter, any person who is going through a difficult time to remember the truth.\u00a0 First of all about God\u2019s love for you.\u00a0 Secondly how we are to model this kind of love for those in our families. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is a great verse to talk about all these things it says love does.\u00a0 Love bares all things.\u00a0 Are you baring the weaknesses of your spouse?\u00a0 Believes all things; are you respecting your spouse and trusting them?\u00a0 Hopes all things; endures all things. Love is an expression of unconditional acceptance of another person and it does mean that when you speak the truth you speak it in love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPerhaps before the day is over you take these four things that are described about love and talk about what one thing your spouse could do to help you feel more loved. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>If our listeners are interested these daily devotionals aresent out via email.\u00a0 You go to FamilyLifeToday.comand sign up to have the emails sent to you or you can get a copy of the book <em>Moments With You<\/em> by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 You will find information at our website at FamilyLifeToday.com about how you can receive a copy of the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow as I said we are going to be dealing with a theme today.\u00a0 Actually, we have been dealing with it all this week.\u00a0 A theme that parents may not want their younger children to be tuned in for because it revolves around a sexual assault that took place in the life of our guest Wendy Blight. This is a subject that somewhat surprisingly Dennis is more common than most of our listeners probably realize.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is, in fact some statistics around this subject indicate that between one in three and one in four women in America will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime.\u00a0 In fact America leads the world in terms of sexual assault and rape.\u00a0 We have a guest who has been willing to step forward and share a sensitive story but an honest story about her own experience.\u00a0 Wendy Blight joins us again.\u00a0 Wendy welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, thank you \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Thank you for sharing your story.\u00a0 Wendy was a trial lawyer for a number of years with three different firms before she started having children.\u00a0 She had a couple of them.\u00a0 She has been married to her husband Monty since 1987.\u00a0 She has written a book called <em>Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner:<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>The Transforming Power of God\u2019s Story<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWendy as we talk about these statistics they really are alarming.\u00a0 Rape is not one of these subjects that are talked about so a lot of it goes unreported, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 It goes unreported for many reasons.\u00a0 Sometimes, because what I talked about, the threat and the fear that the person will come back and hurt you again.\u00a0 Also, for many women especially in date rape situations because of shame or guilt which need not be there but it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I am guessing that most of the sexual assault that takes place; is that.\u00a0 It\u2019s a guy and a girl who are on a date and the guy becomes aggressive, and a girl says stop and he doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 She winds up being raped.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Those situations as well as the ones with the date rape drug where the girl is not necessarily there on a date but they\u2019re at a party or they\u2019re somewhere together.\u00a0 And she is the victim of the date rape drug in her drink.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, as we\u2019re talking here. Wendy, it occurs to me there may be some of our listeners that don\u2019t understand or know about the date rape drug and how it works but it really is prevalent on the college campuses and is now finding its way to high schools, correct?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Correct. What it is, is that just someone can\u00a0 drop this drug in a drink and then in a short time, I don\u2019t know what the time period\u00a0 is, the girl is basically unable to function very well.\u00a0 Then doesn\u2019t have a memory of what happens to her and then wakes up.\u00a0 Quite often, they\u2019ll find themselves on a bed or somewhere they don\u2019t remember being because they were taken there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You have been aware of this happening with girls in high school, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Just recently, I always talked with college girls.\u00a0 I have now been made aware of three situations where I live where there were young girls age 16 to 18 years who were the victim of the date rape drug.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In a lot of cases these rapes are never reported.\u00a0 The statistics I have indicate only 16% are ever brought forward to the police.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s correct.\u00a0 First of all, for the reasons that we talked about that they don\u2019t want to tell.\u00a0 Then, I think also the process that has to be gone through all the way to take something to court.\u00a0 Some people just don\u2019t want to go through all of that because they are already dealing with so much pain.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am a dad. You\u2019re a mom.\u00a0 You have a 15 year old daughter, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What have you said to her so that she knows how to handle herself and be protected?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>Well, probably too much for a child.\u00a0 Having me for a mother is not a good thing and as well as her friends and her mother\u2019s friends. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell her most importantly as she\u2019s at an age now where people begin to have parties.\u00a0 She may go to parties next year or the next year and in college.\u00a0 My most important, I guess, advice I want to give to anyone who is going out to a place where they are going to have a drink in their hand.\u00a0 First don\u2019t let it out of your sight and if you put it down anywhere then don\u2019t come back and get it.\u00a0 Just get yourself another drink.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Whether its ice tea, a coke or something more. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about rules for your daughter related to being out on a date with a guy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thankfully, she\u2019s not there yet being 15.\u00a0 When I talk about this I say we should always insure that when you\u2019re going out for the first time you can meet in a public place, meet them at the restaurant, have a great time there and then leave.\u00a0 You start to get to know somebody that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0Or, if you insist on going on a date with someone you don\u2019t know then you make sure someone knows where you are at all times.\u00a0 What time you\u2019re going to get to the restaurant.\u00a0 What time you\u2019re leaving and where you go after that.\u00a0 Always make sure people know where you are, who you are with and what you\u2019re doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You say someone you don\u2019t know, what if it\u2019s a nice guy and you have gotten to know him at school?\u00a0 He seems like a good guy, maybe you\u2019ve gone out a couple of times.\u00a0 When can you think this is probably safe for us to go out and be alone together?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think the longer you date someone especially in a college situation, I mean, there is always going to be the kind of guy who can fool everybody.\u00a0 I think that after a few dates and if people know him or her, you can get to know someone\u2019s character and feel comfortable with them.\u00a0 So I would say the most important thing a women can do, we have a God given instinct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0And for me, I\u2019ve shared with you how I saw that front door locked.\u00a0 I should have gone with my instinct and said that door is never locked.\u00a0 Gone to find Monty and said \u201cHey, can you come in my apartment?\u00a0 This just doesn\u2019t feel right.\u201d\u00a0 So, God gives us instincts and if something doesn\u2019t feel right or a person doesn\u2019t feel right then listen to that and run the other way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just have to say, don\u2019t be na\u00efve in thinking that because the young man makes a profession of faith in Christ or goes to youth group\u2026\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> \u2026or shows up to Bible study that he\u2019s safe.\u00a0 Because\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Singles group.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 We are hearing more and more about young women who are assaulted by guys who show up at those groups.\u00a0 There are some guys who are predatory around Christian groups because they know that they will be trusted if they are showing up there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 These are subjects that we must discuss with our young people before they get into high school and go away to college.\u00a0 This is not rare.\u00a0 This is happening on Americas\u2019 college campuses today.\u00a0 This subject also occurs, though, in marriages.\u00a0 There are a number of women who are raped by their husband.\u00a0 Explain that phenomenon.\u00a0 That seems like that shouldn\u2019t be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 My only experience with that is when a few women have spoken to me after events that I have spoken at.\u00a0 I can\u2019t explain that.\u00a0 I do not understand, except for I wonder if these are the men who commit these rapes before they were married.\u00a0 Now there in a marriage relationship and they can\u2019t continue with other women so now they have their wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, obviously forcing anyone to be involved with you sexually, whether it\u2019s your wife, a date or a stranger.\u00a0 That does not square up with what the scriptures teaches us about how we are to act, how we are to love, and what godly character looks like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, exactly.\u00a0 While we\u2019re talking about the scripture, I know that in Wendy\u2019s situation, it was the word of God that was used to bring you to healing and hope and ultimately do a work in your heart.\u00a0 As I\u2019ve listened to your story my mind goes to a passage in Hebrews chapter 4 verse12.\u00a0 \u201cIt says for the word of God is living, and active and sharper than any two edged sword; piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow; able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve never thought of the word of God being a scalpel.\u00a0 That really is what it\u2019s describing and what you experienced in your own heart.\u00a0 The scriptures were used in your heart to go in and cut out the fear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did God do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>\u00a0Well, I can probably even tell you better with unforgiveness.\u00a0 I could not forgive, first God and could not forgive the man who raped me.\u00a0 I had a godly grandmother who spoke to me and said \u201cWendy, you will never heal from what\u2019s happened in your life if you don\u2019t forgive this man.\u201d\u00a0 I remember thinking \u201cHow could my godly grandmother ask me to forgive this man who did this to me!\u201d\u00a0 She pointed me to scripture on forgiveness and when God puts His word in front of you like that, that\u2019s a scalpel.\u00a0 That goes in and digs deep.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Tell us about that story of how you ultimately came to give up the right to punish him because that\u2019s what forgiveness is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 I so wanted revenge.\u00a0\u00a0 I didn\u2019t even realize that\u2019s what I wanted was revenge.\u00a0 So, the journey of learning how to forgive was so long.\u00a0 I would read those verses and I would say \u201cOkay, Lord I am ready to forgive.\u201d\u00a0 I just couldn\u2019t and I couldn\u2019t.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I sat with some words written by Beth Moore.\u00a0 Where she talked about God asking us to forgive someone is not asking us to forget what they\u2019ve done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s giving up the right to be the one to avenge it and handing that over to the Lord.\u00a0 All of a sudden, I don\u2019t know it washed over me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes that that\u2019s what I needed to do.\u00a0 I sat on the sofa and I remember saying out loud to this person I didn\u2019t even know who he was. It wasn\u2019t like he was in front of me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You never caught him, never determined who he was, so you didn\u2019t go to trial. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Correct.\u00a0 So, I had to say all this out loud with no one there but me.\u00a0 As I did, I wept in a way that I don\u2019t know that I\u2019ve ever done before.\u00a0 I forgave him and I named every single thing that he stole from me, my dignity, my worth, my value.\u00a0 I named it all.\u00a0 As I named it, it was like something was lifted off of me.\u00a0 It was Powerful!\u00a0 You can\u2019t explain it unless you\u2019ve been through it but it\u2019s the most amazing thing, to forgive. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we don\u2019t realize in living in un-forgiveness is that scripture that talks about that root of bitterness.\u00a0 It infects every part of your life.\u00a0 I think that that\u2019s what was happening with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wendy, I am glad you allowed us to come and walk through with you that process because there are people listening to us right now.\u00a0 Perhaps some who have been raped and never told anybody.\u00a0 Perhaps, others, who were sexually assaulted through sexual abuse as a child, or emotional, physical abuse, maybe it\u2019s a relationship with your husband or your wife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re listening to your story and they\u2019re reflecting on their circumstances and they\u2019re realizing \u201cI\u2019ve got to do that.\u201d\u00a0 What you\u2019re admonishing them to do is go to the scripture and take a look at Christ\u2019s words who talks about forgiving seven times seventy, an infinite number of times giving up the right to punish and avenge.\u00a0 At a point and time, releasing that punishment and letting God ultimately settle the score.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was a particular night when you and the kids were alone.\u00a0 You\u2019ve already told us you didn\u2019t allow yourself to be alone.\u00a0 The fear was just overwhelming but on this particular night you said \u201cWe\u2019re going to stay alone and we\u2019re going to be okay, right?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 This was 13 years later after my attack.\u00a0 I had a routine whenever Monty would go out of town.\u00a0 I would go around the entire house and lock every door, set the alarm, turn every light on outside, keep all the lights on inside and turn on the televisions.\u00a0 It use to be that I even had my kids sleeping in the room with me and but I had them in their own rooms this night.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI decided I was really going to be a big girl.\u00a0 I prayed my verses and I called a friend named Meg.\u00a0 I told her that I was staying alone.\u00a0 I always did that.\u00a0 I always made sure I had someone praying for me that knew we were home alone.\u00a0 My routine was to always leave my television on and I laid down to go to bed.\u00a0 It was like the Lord impressed on me \u201cturn off the television.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember out loud saying\u201d I am not turning off the television Lord because I will hear every sound in the house.\u00a0 Just let me leave the T.V. on\u2019\u201d but it was heavy upon me to turn that television off.\u00a0 I had never done that and just lay in complete silence in all the years that I had finally been staying alone.\u00a0 So I had turned it off and as I lay there, I was waiting for that fear to just rise up in me and it didn\u2019t.\u00a0 As I laid there, I experienced the most amazing peace that I had not experienced in 13 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was this picture in my mind of a wall of angels around my house.\u00a0 I remember I just started to weep.\u00a0 I got out of my bed, knelt down on my knees and I just began to praise God. Because I forgot what this feeling was like.\u00a0 I had not had it for so long.\u00a0 It was the most joyous moment.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, when I got done with my crying and my praising God, I picked up the phone. It was probably midnight or so.\u00a0 I called my friend Meg.\u00a0 I said\u201d Meg! Meg!\u201d\u00a0 I told her what happened and I didn\u2019t hear anything on the other end of the phone. I thought \u201cMeg! Are you not excited for me?!\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said \u201cWendy, right when you hung up the phone with us Bill (her husband) and I prayed for a wall of angels to be around your house.\u00a0 I knew in that moment it was God and God alone that took away that fear because I saw that wall of angels.\u00a0 When she spoke those words it was as if the Lord was saying to me \u201cDon\u2019t ever think that this was a coincidence.\u00a0 Don\u2019t ever think it was the passage of time.\u00a0 But by My Words you have been healed.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am sorry listeners can\u2019t see your face as you say that because that peace and the joy that you experienced that night continues on.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want everyone out there listening to know that God is big enough.\u00a0 He is big enough for whatever you have.\u00a0 His word says it is health to our body and healing to our bones.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s a passage in 2<sup>nd<\/sup> Corinthians chapter 1 that you really remind me of also.\u00a0 It says we are to comfort others with the comfort with which we have been comforted.\u00a0 That\u2019s really what you\u2019ve done here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 It is what drives me.\u00a0 In the beginning when I was so afraid, to stand up in front of a room,\u00a0 Even today, to sit here with you it drains me so fully but at the same time I know it\u2019s what I\u2019m called to do.\u00a0 It\u2019s such a blessing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 God\u2019s using you in the lives of a lot of women.\u00a0 To bring that same joy that was hidden in your life forward to let them experience it, too.\u00a0 I just really appreciate your courage.\u00a0 I am grateful you\u2019re helping the Christian community.\u00a0 Those who are followers of Christ know how best to bring that same comfort and grace and joy to their friends.\u00a0 I appreciate you.\u00a0 Thanks for being with us Wendy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know we are going to hear from a lot of our listeners who have either experienced what you have experienced themselves or they know somebody who has.\u00a0 So, I think what you\u2019re doing here and I think what you written in your book is going to be used by God in a lot of situations.\u00a0 We have copies of the book in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center. It\u2019s called <em>Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go on line at FamilyLifeToday.com and request a copy or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 When you contact us we will let you know how you can get a copy of Wendy\u2019s book sent to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to take just a minute here before we wrap things up and let our listeners know, especially those of you who help support this ministry that we could not do this without you and we really do appreciate those of you who either from time to time will call or go online and make a donation, as you are able to do that and those of you who are lifetime legacy partners who\u00a0\u00a0 help support the ministry with a donation each month.\u00a0 We very much appreciate your partnership as well.\u00a0 <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener supported.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf it weren\u2019t for folks making donations we could not continue to air this program on this station or on other stations all across the country.\u00a0 You know every year there are folks for whatever reason they\u2019ve help support the ministry in the past who are not able to, circumstances have changed and again for whatever reason.\u00a0 They\u2019re just no longer able to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and that\u2019s why we are always hopeful there will be new listeners.\u00a0 Those of you have been tuned in for awhile but you\u2019ve never made a donation. We are hoping you\u2019ll consider a first time donation to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are able to do that this month we have a thank you gift we\u2019d like to send you. It\u2019s a two CD series that features a conversation we had a while back with Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, the author of the book <em>Love and Respect <\/em>and we\u2019d love\u00a0 to send those two CD\u2019s out to you as our thank you gift when you support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this month. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com just type the word \u201cRESPECT\u201d\u2019 in the key code box that you find on the online donation form. If you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation just ask for the CD\u2019s on Love and Respect and we\u2019ll make sure to get those to you.\u00a0 Again thanks to those of you who are able to help with the donation. We do appreciate your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow tomorrow we are going to talk about an exciting 2<sup>nd<\/sup> year event that\u2019s coming up in 2010. It\u2019s going to be taking place in the fall.\u00a0 It\u2019s the National Bible Bee.\u00a0 We will let you know all the details.\u00a0 You can find out how your kids can be a part of this year\u2019s competition.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in.\u00a0 I want to thank out engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0On behalf of our host Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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