{"id":301962,"date":"2010-01-19T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-01-19T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/casting-out-fear\/"},"modified":"2010-01-19T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-01-19T17:00:00","slug":"casting-out-fear","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/casting-out-fear\/","title":{"rendered":"Casting Out Fear"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Trial lawyer Wendy Blight worked for three firms before she had children. The biggest trial she ever faced, however, had nothing to do with court.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-01-19.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11.57M","filesize_raw":"12135796","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2848,2873],"tags":[4584,5089,5088],"podcast_series":[7702],"cwp_profile":[9187],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301962","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cultural-issues","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","tag-fear","tag-meditating","tag-rape","podcast_series-hidden-joy","cwp_profile-wendy-blight","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301962\/casting-out-fear","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301962\/casting-out-fear","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"aYNdsHqdKR\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/casting-out-fear\/\">Casting Out Fear<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/casting-out-fear\/embed\/#?secret=aYNdsHqdKR\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Casting Out Fear&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"aYNdsHqdKR\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-01-19.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-01-19.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, January 19th. Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Wendy Blight shares with us today about the hope and the healing that came for the scars on her soul. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition.\u00a0 This is hard stuff we\u2019re going to be hearing about today.\u00a0 But we want to begin our program as we\u2019ve been doing all through the month of January by pointing our listeners back to God\u2019s word, and encouraging them to take some time as a family, whether it\u2019s just the two of you as a couple or the whole family, and spend time reading God\u2019s word.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve been looking at a particular passage each day that could be a great passage for you to talk about, again as a couple or as a family.\u00a0 These are passages taken from the devotional book you and Barbara wrote, Dennis, called <em>Moments With You<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> <strong>\u00a0<\/strong>That\u2019s right, and all of the devotionals are taken from the scripture, and today\u2019s reading is Jeremiah 32:40. This is God\u2019 speaking, He says, \u201cI will put the fear of Me in their hearts, so that they will not turn away from Me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of us kind of wrinkle our forehead and think, \u201cGod wants us to fear Him, so that we don\u2019t turn away from him?\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 He wants us to have a reverential awe of who He is, and a respect for who He is, so that we don\u2019t allow our hearts to set up an idol factory and worship something, or someone else.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I\u2019d encourage you to do as a couple is, sometime today, just take a few moments and talk about how you have feared God in the past, and how the fear of God has kept you from evil.\u00a0 How fearing him, has resulted in you not turning away from Him and being disobedient.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s a healthy discussion for a couple to have.\u00a0 You may want to talk about how you didn\u2019t do this, and how you didn\u2019t fear God, and what it cost you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn this devotional, I share how I didn\u2019t do something I was supposed to do.\u00a0 I ended up lying about it, and then God convicted me about it, several months later, I might add, and how I finally had to come clean with a friend and ask for his forgiveness.\u00a0 But if I had been practicing the presence of God, and a reverential awe of him, I wouldn\u2019t have done this.\u00a0 It would have kept me from evil.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0Well, if you\u2019re interested in seeing these daily devotionals, we actually send them out as e-mails.\u00a0 You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to subscribe to the <em>Moments With You<\/em> daily e-mail.\u00a0 Or you can get a copy of the book, and the information about how to receive a copy of the book is available online as well, at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, the story that we are unfolding this week, is a difficult story for us to dive into here, and it may be the kind of story that parents are going to want to decide that they don\u2019t want their children to be listening to, because, it involves an assault that took place on a young woman.\u00a0 What\u2019s it been two decades now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong> <em>\u00a0<\/em>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, two decades ago, a rape that took place when Wendy Blight had just graduated from college.\u00a0 She came back to her apartment on a Saturday afternoon and found a man with a mask and a hunting knife in her apartment.\u00a0 He proceeded to assault her, and to rape her, then leave her there on her own.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want you to know, Wendy I appreciate you, your courage to be able to tell your story, and to really take a topic that I think must be discussed publicly.\u00a0 Because the Christian community really holds\u2014I believe\u2014the keys to women who have been raped finding wholeness and healing, and well-being spiritually to make sense out of this.\u00a0 So, thank you for joining us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>\u00a0Thank you it\u2019s my pleasure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wendy and her husband Monty live in Charlotte, North Carolina, where they have two children, and we are talking about a subject that is a delicate one.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just add my voice to Bob\u2019s in saying, I\u2019m not sure this is a broadcast for any children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut Wendy, you\u2019ve written in your book, <em>Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner <\/em>that after the rape occurred, you rushed to your fianc\u00e9\u2019s apartment.\u00a0 Obviously he had to be stunned to see you there, and talking in sentences that were fragments.\u00a0 Terribly frightened, calling the police, tell me what his response was in the days following the rape, toward you as a woman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>\u00a0All three of them, my fianc\u00e9 and his two roommates took very good care of me, because I would not ever be alone.\u00a0 So they just made sure there was never a time that I was by myself.\u00a0 My job gave me that first few days off so I wouldn\u2019t have to start right away, because I was supposed to start work that Monday.\u00a0 He just cradled me at night.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t sleep.\u00a0 I cried to myself all the time. Whenever I took a shower--Monty had to sit in the bathroom with me. I could not be by myself.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>If I was your fianc\u00e9, at this point in time, I think I would have wanted to get my roommates together, become the local police force and go looking.\u00a0 Did you have any hint in your mind? Did you think you knew who your perpetrator was?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>\u00a0Well, what\u2019s interesting about that is, I didn\u2019t feel like I knew at all who it was at the time.\u00a0 He had blue eyes, that I would never forget, and I knew about his height and his gait, how he walked.\u00a0 And so one day, when I was leaving my apartment to go to work in my car, I was going through the parking lot and I saw a man walking from the back.\u00a0 And my whole body went stiff.\u00a0\u00a0 I immediately went back into Monty\u2019s apartment; \u201cI think I just saw the man who raped me.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWhat? What? Who? Who?\u201d\u00a0 He ran out there, and the guy was gone.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we called the police department, we described him, it ended up he lived a few doors down from my fianc\u00e9\u2019s apartment at the time.\u00a0 The police brought him in, they questioned him, he passed the questioning, but it ended up, as I did more research on him with my fianc\u00e9, he had been arrested as a peeping tom several times.\u00a0 He had broken into a girl\u2019s apartment and watched her sleep.\u00a0 But these police officers said, \u201cWe\u2019re sorry, people who are peeping toms, don\u2019t progress to the crime rape like that.\u201d\u00a0 And it infuriated my fianc\u00e9. So they never really pursued it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All of these circumstances ultimately drove you to a spiritual journey and a search for who God was, that ultimately resulted in your own personal conversion to Christ, and a commitment to Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>\u00a0Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Share how that occurred.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>\u00a0I met with the president of Baylor, and I sat in his office, and he was such a gentle and kind man.\u00a0 His name was Dr. Herbert Reynolds.\u00a0 He started asking me about my relationship with Christ.\u00a0 Being a good Baylor student, I just said, yes I have a relationship with Christ.\u00a0 But he planted in my heart, something that I didn\u2019t really know or understand about.\u00a0 He began to talk about life verses, and he shared a life verse in his life, he shared Romans 8:38-39.\u00a0 That nothing separates us from the love of God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I began to open God\u2019s word, and read it a little bit at a time.\u00a0 At the time that I would read it, it didn\u2019t always mean anything to me, it would be a comfort, but then it would go away, and my fears would come back over me, because, I lived in what I call a \u201cprison of fear.\u201d\u00a0 So I would read and be comforted, but then I would slip back into the pain and the fear and the unforgiveness, bitterness, and all those things.\u00a0 But then I would get another God appointment in my life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my most favorite stories, the one that seems to speak to so many people, is when I went and met with the minister at our church in Dallas.\u00a0 I had never been alone with a man in a room until this meeting.\u00a0 So I went in the office, I shared my whole story with him.\u00a0 I had never really told anybody, let alone a man.\u00a0 When I was finished, he said \u201cHave you ever read the story of the man on the mat in scripture?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWould you open to the book of John?\u201d\u00a0 I had brought my Bible but I had no clue where the book of John was.\u00a0 But he graciously helped me find it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we read the story together, we finally got to the part where Jesus asked the man, \u201cDo you want to get well?\u201d\u00a0 The man answered with these excuses about, \u201cWell, nobody helps me to the water\u2026\u201d He looked at me and said, \u201cWendy, I want to ask you a question. Do you want to get well?\u201d I looked at him and said, \u201cOf course I want to get well!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said\u2014now granted I had never met this man before\u2014he said, \u201cI don\u2019t think you want to get well. I think you\u2019ve become comfortable in your place of pity.\u00a0 Everyone feels sorry for you, and you have never taken a step towards God to get better.\u201d\u00a0 And, he was so right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was on this mat, and when I left his office that day, it was the first time in my life I knew God\u2019s word was living and active, and speaking to me personally.\u00a0 That was the beginning of an amazing journey through God\u2019s word. Up till then, I read it, but now I began to hunger for it, and read it to hear what God had to say to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This was how many years after the assault?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Five years maybe?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So there had been five years of you battling depression.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Being in the prison she talked about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Angry\u2026 I want to pull back for a minute.\u00a0 You were engaged to be married when this happened, how long after this happened, did you have the wedding?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It happened on June seventh, and we married on May ninth the next year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Was there any hesitation on your part to go ahead with marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t think I would make a good wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Why?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>Because, I couldn\u2019t even function in my own life, and I thought, \u201cHow could I ever be a wife?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Monty must have been a safe man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He must have created such a security for you to walk toward him in marriage.\u00a0 What did he do that created that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>First of all, he came from an incredible home. He was a godly man.\u00a0 Although that was not something that was a big part of our relationship early on, because, it lacked in me. I think that\u2019s what kept him. He was so faithful to me, and so good to me, when I didn\u2019t do anything to deserve it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did he ever think about postponing, calling off, ending the engagement?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 If he did, he never told me. We weren\u2019t even married yet, but I remember him saying when he asked me to marry him, \u201cIf you say yes to me, I want you to remember something. The word \u2018divorce\u2019 will never be spoken by either one of us.\u00a0 Unless you can agree with that, we can\u2019t get married.\u201d\u00a0 And that\u2019s how we started our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, what Monty is illustrating here is a powerful principle that\u2019s found in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 John chapter 4. \u201cPerfect love casts out all fear.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If anybody had a right to be fearful, it would be you.\u00a0 And, yet he stepped forward to love you with a love that created enough safety for you to give yourself to him. That really is a remarkable love.\u00a0 But that\u2019s the assignment.\u00a0 Listen to me, that\u2019s the assignment for every man who is listening here.\u00a0 \u201cPerfect love casts out all fear.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re not just talking about victims of rape; there are women who have been abused physically, sexually, emotionally, women who have made mistakes in their own past.\u00a0 They need to be loved.\u00a0 Your wife needs love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0Well, and ultimately Monty was demonstrating God\u2019s love in doing this.\u00a0 It took that perfect love to ultimately cast the fear out of you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>\u00a0I always say, in the book I wrote, he modeled God\u2019s love for me before my very eyes that I didn\u2019t ever know before.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You weren\u2019t a Christian at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>This is a delicate question to ask, but given the assault that had taken place, you are walking into marriage where relations are a part of life for a husband and wife.\u00a0 A good gift from God to be celebrated and enjoyed.\u00a0 How did you approach that?\u00a0 What kind of feelings were going on in your heart?\u00a0 Was this an issue for you guys in your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it was an issue for many, many years.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t happen for many, many, years.\u00a0 I think he probably knew that when he said \u201cI will still marry you.\u201d\u00a0 Because, that act itself was so associated with so much evil that I had no desire for a while.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you abstained?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 For a husband to make that statement of love to his wife, self-denial really is at the core of how you express love.\u00a0 God does call men to deny themselves, to love their wives, and he really did that for you didn\u2019t he?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That spoke volumes to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 At the time I didn\u2019t really understand it.\u00a0 But now, when I look back I\u2019m amazed at who I\u2019m married to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>From the point in your life where a pastor who doesn\u2019t know you says, \u201cI think you like being a victim,\u201d and God kind of gets your attention, to the point where you really start to do business and unpack what\u2019s happened here.\u00a0 Did that happen immediately, or did it happen slowly, gradually over time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 It happened slowly and gradually.\u00a0 It was when I got in a Bible study with a teacher who had a passion and a love for God\u2019s word.\u00a0 It was right after I moved to Charlotte; within a few months a friend invited me to join a Bible study.\u00a0 It was my first Bible study ever to study God\u2019s word.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was being in that Bible study with her, where she talked about strongholds.\u00a0 The stronghold of fear, and she used that word, and when she spoke the word \u201cfear\u201d the hair on my body, everything in me just\u2014I just stiffened.\u00a0 I just listened so intently to what she said, and I remember picking my son up from the child care, going home, putting him down for his nap, and I sat at my dining room table and I looked up every verse on fear.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was another turning point, because I realized that fear was not from God.\u00a0 And, the 2 Timothy verse that says \u201cGod does not give a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind,\u201d became my verse.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t overnight.\u00a0 It was a very long journey.\u00a0 Eventually what I learned was I had to quit praying, \u201cGod fix me.\u00a0 God help me.\u201d\u00a0 God was wanting me to participate in my healing.\u00a0 And, I needed to begin to take God\u2019s word, and meditate on it, and understand it, and pray it for myself.\u00a0 I wrote it on cards, and put these fear verses around my house.\u00a0 I just began to really eat and drink of it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I began to do that, God\u2019s word became a part of me and that whole\u2014everything about fear, I just realized it was all from the evil one. It wasn\u2019t from God.\u00a0 \u201cGreater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world.\u201d\u00a0 I just knew that I could win this.\u00a0 I could be victorious in Christ over the devil who had me in this prison of fear for 13 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 You\u2019ve painted Monty to be such a saint here.\u00a0 Such a noble man, a noble warrior on behalf of his wife, denying himself, entering into your pain and your fear, he promised you when he married you, \u201cdivorce\u201d would never be uttered.\u00a0 In those 13 years, while you remained locked up in that prison of fear, anger and bitterness, was there ever a heated moment?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 But that word was never spoken.\u00a0 There was never a threat or \u201cI\u2019m tired of this.\u201d Nothing, he never ever let me believe that he would leave me or abandon me.\u00a0 We had good times\u2014please don\u2019t think I lived in this terrible depression for 13 years.\u00a0 But our life was controlled by my fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Your life was defined by that fear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Had you been to see counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, anybody who tried to help walk you through this and unpack it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I saw Christian counselors, non-Christian counselors.\u00a0 I tried prescription medication, because I suffered from panic attacks all the time, but I know that my story is to direct women to God\u2019s word, because none of that helped me.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I dug into his word, that my healing came. And it came like a flowing river. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wendy you have been really gracious and I just appreciate you being open to share your story.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s a great love story.\u00a0 Every marriage should be that, even in its imperfection. And I appreciate you sharing that you had your moments, when there were dark moments that occurred between you and Monty. But, that your commitment and your covenant kept you in there, hanging in there with each other, loving one another, so that your tendency to be afraid never had a moment to wonder with Monty threatening to leave, or saying the \u201cD\u201d word.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s such a compelling illustration Bob.\u00a0 I just want to say to the listeners, if you use the \u201cD\u201d word, \u201cdivorce,\u201d let this story so move you as a couple, and the call to love one another for lifetime through covenant keeping love, let that become your mandate to never ever let that word pass your lips for the rest of your lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, in the same way that perfect love does cast out fear, when you entertain or inject the idea of breaking up a covenant relationship that infuses fear into a relationship.\u00a0 That\u2019s why as we talk to couples at our Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Conferences, we encourage them,\u00a0 you do need to speak the truth in love, but you need to know, both of you need to know, that you\u2019re committed.\u00a0 That you\u2019re not giving up on the marriage.\u00a0 Even if you have to take drastic measures, even if there needs to be a separation period, even if you need to get other people to intervene and help out, you don\u2019t threaten the foundation of your marital covenant. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mentioned the Weekend to Remember\u00ae, we are kicking off our Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Conference season here in a couple of weeks.\u00a0 If our listeners are interested in getting more information about how to attend one of these upcoming conferences, they can go online, at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You\u2019ll also find on our website information about Wendy\u2019s book.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner<\/em>, it tells her story, and tells about God\u2019s grace in the midst of her trial. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain you can find out more about the book online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can order from us online if you\u2019d like or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800 F as in \u201cfamily\u201d L as in \u201clife\u201d and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 And when you call we can make arrangements to get Wendy\u2019s book sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we are grateful here at FamilyLife for those of you who help support this ministry.\u00a0 Some of you do that from time to time as you\u2019re able.\u00a0 You send in a donation or you go online and make a donation.\u00a0 Others of you are legacy partners, and you make a monthly contribution to the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We appreciate you guys as well.\u00a0 Without listener support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> would not be able to be aired on this station or on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 So, in a very real sense, you are partners in helping make this daily radio program possible in your community, and in other parts of the country as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month if you\u2019re able to make a donation of any amount, to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019d love to send you a two-CD series that features a conversation that Dennis and I had a number of years ago with Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. He\u2019s the author of the book <em>Love and Respect<\/em>. We spent a couple of hours talking with him about the themes from that book and helping couples understand how love and respect are worked out in a marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can request those two CDs when you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this month with a donation of any amount.\u00a0 If you\u2019re donating online at FamilyLifeToday.com, type the word \u201cRESPECT\u201d in the key code box you\u2019ll find on the online donation form.\u00a0 If you call to make your donation, 1-800-FLTODAY, just ask for the <em>Love and Respect<\/em> CDs when you make that donation and again, thanks for partnering with us in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We really do appreciate you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow Wendy Blight is going to be back, we\u2019re going to continue to talk about God\u2019s grace in the midst of the valley of the shadow that she walked through.\u00a0 I hope you can be back with us for that.\u00a0 I want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of Familylife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["11.57M"],"filesize_raw":["12135796"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-301962.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-301962.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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lawyer Wendy Blight worked for three firms before she had children. The biggest trial she ever faced, however, had nothing to do with court.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-01-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, January 19th. Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Wendy Blight shares with us today about the hope and the healing that came for the scars on her soul. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition.\u00a0 This is hard stuff we\u2019re going to be hearing about today.\u00a0 But we want to begin our program as we\u2019ve been doing all through the month of January by pointing our listeners back to God\u2019s word, and encouraging them to take some time as a family, whether it\u2019s just the two of you as a couple or the whole family, and spend time reading God\u2019s word.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve been looking at a particular passage each day that could be a great passage for you to talk about, again as a couple or as a family.\u00a0 These are passages taken from the devotional book you and Barbara wrote, Dennis, called <em>Moments With You<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> <strong>\u00a0<\/strong>That\u2019s right, and all of the devotionals are taken from the scripture, and today\u2019s reading is Jeremiah 32:40. This is God\u2019 speaking, He says, \u201cI will put the fear of Me in their hearts, so that they will not turn away from Me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of us kind of wrinkle our forehead and think, \u201cGod wants us to fear Him, so that we don\u2019t turn away from him?\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 He wants us to have a reverential awe of who He is, and a respect for who He is, so that we don\u2019t allow our hearts to set up an idol factory and worship something, or someone else.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I\u2019d encourage you to do as a couple is, sometime today, just take a few moments and talk about how you have feared God in the past, and how the fear of God has kept you from evil.\u00a0 How fearing him, has resulted in you not turning away from Him and being disobedient.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s a healthy discussion for a couple to have.\u00a0 You may want to talk about how you didn\u2019t do this, and how you didn\u2019t fear God, and what it cost you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn this devotional, I share how I didn\u2019t do something I was supposed to do.\u00a0 I ended up lying about it, and then God convicted me about it, several months later, I might add, and how I finally had to come clean with a friend and ask for his forgiveness.\u00a0 But if I had been practicing the presence of God, and a reverential awe of him, I wouldn\u2019t have done this.\u00a0 It would have kept me from evil.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0Well, if you\u2019re interested in seeing these daily devotionals, we actually send them out as e-mails.\u00a0 You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to subscribe to the <em>Moments With You<\/em> daily e-mail.\u00a0 Or you can get a copy of the book, and the information about how to receive a copy of the book is available online as well, at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, the story that we are unfolding this week, is a difficult story for us to dive into here, and it may be the kind of story that parents are going to want to decide that they don\u2019t want their children to be listening to, because, it involves an assault that took place on a young woman.\u00a0 What\u2019s it been two decades now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong> <em>\u00a0<\/em>Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, two decades ago, a rape that took place when Wendy Blight had just graduated from college.\u00a0 She came back to her apartment on a Saturday afternoon and found a man with a mask and a hunting knife in her apartment.\u00a0 He proceeded to assault her, and to rape her, then leave her there on her own.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want you to know, Wendy I appreciate you, your courage to be able to tell your story, and to really take a topic that I think must be discussed publicly.\u00a0 Because the Christian community really holds\u2014I believe\u2014the keys to women who have been raped finding wholeness and healing, and well-being spiritually to make sense out of this.\u00a0 So, thank you for joining us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>\u00a0Thank you it\u2019s my pleasure. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wendy and her husband Monty live in Charlotte, North Carolina, where they have two children, and we are talking about a subject that is a delicate one.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just add my voice to Bob\u2019s in saying, I\u2019m not sure this is a broadcast for any children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut Wendy, you\u2019ve written in your book, <em>Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner <\/em>that after the rape occurred, you rushed to your fianc\u00e9\u2019s apartment.\u00a0 Obviously he had to be stunned to see you there, and talking in sentences that were fragments.\u00a0 Terribly frightened, calling the police, tell me what his response was in the days following the rape, toward you as a woman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>\u00a0All three of them, my fianc\u00e9 and his two roommates took very good care of me, because I would not ever be alone.\u00a0 So they just made sure there was never a time that I was by myself.\u00a0 My job gave me that first few days off so I wouldn\u2019t have to start right away, because I was supposed to start work that Monday.\u00a0 He just cradled me at night.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t sleep.\u00a0 I cried to myself all the time. Whenever I took a shower--Monty had to sit in the bathroom with me. I could not be by myself.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>If I was your fianc\u00e9, at this point in time, I think I would have wanted to get my roommates together, become the local police force and go looking.\u00a0 Did you have any hint in your mind? Did you think you knew who your perpetrator was?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>\u00a0Well, what\u2019s interesting about that is, I didn\u2019t feel like I knew at all who it was at the time.\u00a0 He had blue eyes, that I would never forget, and I knew about his height and his gait, how he walked.\u00a0 And so one day, when I was leaving my apartment to go to work in my car, I was going through the parking lot and I saw a man walking from the back.\u00a0 And my whole body went stiff.\u00a0\u00a0 I immediately went back into Monty\u2019s apartment; \u201cI think I just saw the man who raped me.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWhat? What? Who? Who?\u201d\u00a0 He ran out there, and the guy was gone.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut we called the police department, we described him, it ended up he lived a few doors down from my fianc\u00e9\u2019s apartment at the time.\u00a0 The police brought him in, they questioned him, he passed the questioning, but it ended up, as I did more research on him with my fianc\u00e9, he had been arrested as a peeping tom several times.\u00a0 He had broken into a girl\u2019s apartment and watched her sleep.\u00a0 But these police officers said, \u201cWe\u2019re sorry, people who are peeping toms, don\u2019t progress to the crime rape like that.\u201d\u00a0 And it infuriated my fianc\u00e9. So they never really pursued it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All of these circumstances ultimately drove you to a spiritual journey and a search for who God was, that ultimately resulted in your own personal conversion to Christ, and a commitment to Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>\u00a0Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Share how that occurred.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>\u00a0I met with the president of Baylor, and I sat in his office, and he was such a gentle and kind man.\u00a0 His name was Dr. Herbert Reynolds.\u00a0 He started asking me about my relationship with Christ.\u00a0 Being a good Baylor student, I just said, yes I have a relationship with Christ.\u00a0 But he planted in my heart, something that I didn\u2019t really know or understand about.\u00a0 He began to talk about life verses, and he shared a life verse in his life, he shared Romans 8:38-39.\u00a0 That nothing separates us from the love of God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I began to open God\u2019s word, and read it a little bit at a time.\u00a0 At the time that I would read it, it didn\u2019t always mean anything to me, it would be a comfort, but then it would go away, and my fears would come back over me, because, I lived in what I call a \u201cprison of fear.\u201d\u00a0 So I would read and be comforted, but then I would slip back into the pain and the fear and the unforgiveness, bitterness, and all those things.\u00a0 But then I would get another God appointment in my life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of my most favorite stories, the one that seems to speak to so many people, is when I went and met with the minister at our church in Dallas.\u00a0 I had never been alone with a man in a room until this meeting.\u00a0 So I went in the office, I shared my whole story with him.\u00a0 I had never really told anybody, let alone a man.\u00a0 When I was finished, he said \u201cHave you ever read the story of the man on the mat in scripture?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWould you open to the book of John?\u201d\u00a0 I had brought my Bible but I had no clue where the book of John was.\u00a0 But he graciously helped me find it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we read the story together, we finally got to the part where Jesus asked the man, \u201cDo you want to get well?\u201d\u00a0 The man answered with these excuses about, \u201cWell, nobody helps me to the water\u2026\u201d He looked at me and said, \u201cWendy, I want to ask you a question. Do you want to get well?\u201d I looked at him and said, \u201cOf course I want to get well!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said\u2014now granted I had never met this man before\u2014he said, \u201cI don\u2019t think you want to get well. I think you\u2019ve become comfortable in your place of pity.\u00a0 Everyone feels sorry for you, and you have never taken a step towards God to get better.\u201d\u00a0 And, he was so right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was on this mat, and when I left his office that day, it was the first time in my life I knew God\u2019s word was living and active, and speaking to me personally.\u00a0 That was the beginning of an amazing journey through God\u2019s word. Up till then, I read it, but now I began to hunger for it, and read it to hear what God had to say to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This was how many years after the assault?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Five years maybe?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So there had been five years of you battling depression.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Being in the prison she talked about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Angry\u2026 I want to pull back for a minute.\u00a0 You were engaged to be married when this happened, how long after this happened, did you have the wedding?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It happened on June seventh, and we married on May ninth the next year. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Was there any hesitation on your part to go ahead with marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t think I would make a good wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Why?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>Because, I couldn\u2019t even function in my own life, and I thought, \u201cHow could I ever be a wife?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Monty must have been a safe man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He must have created such a security for you to walk toward him in marriage.\u00a0 What did he do that created that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>First of all, he came from an incredible home. He was a godly man.\u00a0 Although that was not something that was a big part of our relationship early on, because, it lacked in me. I think that\u2019s what kept him. He was so faithful to me, and so good to me, when I didn\u2019t do anything to deserve it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did he ever think about postponing, calling off, ending the engagement?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 If he did, he never told me. We weren\u2019t even married yet, but I remember him saying when he asked me to marry him, \u201cIf you say yes to me, I want you to remember something. The word \u2018divorce\u2019 will never be spoken by either one of us.\u00a0 Unless you can agree with that, we can\u2019t get married.\u201d\u00a0 And that\u2019s how we started our marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, what Monty is illustrating here is a powerful principle that\u2019s found in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1 John chapter 4. \u201cPerfect love casts out all fear.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If anybody had a right to be fearful, it would be you.\u00a0 And, yet he stepped forward to love you with a love that created enough safety for you to give yourself to him. That really is a remarkable love.\u00a0 But that\u2019s the assignment.\u00a0 Listen to me, that\u2019s the assignment for every man who is listening here.\u00a0 \u201cPerfect love casts out all fear.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re not just talking about victims of rape; there are women who have been abused physically, sexually, emotionally, women who have made mistakes in their own past.\u00a0 They need to be loved.\u00a0 Your wife needs love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0Well, and ultimately Monty was demonstrating God\u2019s love in doing this.\u00a0 It took that perfect love to ultimately cast the fear out of you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy: <\/strong>\u00a0I always say, in the book I wrote, he modeled God\u2019s love for me before my very eyes that I didn\u2019t ever know before.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You weren\u2019t a Christian at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>This is a delicate question to ask, but given the assault that had taken place, you are walking into marriage where relations are a part of life for a husband and wife.\u00a0 A good gift from God to be celebrated and enjoyed.\u00a0 How did you approach that?\u00a0 What kind of feelings were going on in your heart?\u00a0 Was this an issue for you guys in your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it was an issue for many, many years.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t happen for many, many, years.\u00a0 I think he probably knew that when he said \u201cI will still marry you.\u201d\u00a0 Because, that act itself was so associated with so much evil that I had no desire for a while.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you abstained?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 For a husband to make that statement of love to his wife, self-denial really is at the core of how you express love.\u00a0 God does call men to deny themselves, to love their wives, and he really did that for you didn\u2019t he?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That spoke volumes to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 At the time I didn\u2019t really understand it.\u00a0 But now, when I look back I\u2019m amazed at who I\u2019m married to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>From the point in your life where a pastor who doesn\u2019t know you says, \u201cI think you like being a victim,\u201d and God kind of gets your attention, to the point where you really start to do business and unpack what\u2019s happened here.\u00a0 Did that happen immediately, or did it happen slowly, gradually over time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 It happened slowly and gradually.\u00a0 It was when I got in a Bible study with a teacher who had a passion and a love for God\u2019s word.\u00a0 It was right after I moved to Charlotte; within a few months a friend invited me to join a Bible study.\u00a0 It was my first Bible study ever to study God\u2019s word.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was being in that Bible study with her, where she talked about strongholds.\u00a0 The stronghold of fear, and she used that word, and when she spoke the word \u201cfear\u201d the hair on my body, everything in me just\u2014I just stiffened.\u00a0 I just listened so intently to what she said, and I remember picking my son up from the child care, going home, putting him down for his nap, and I sat at my dining room table and I looked up every verse on fear.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was another turning point, because I realized that fear was not from God.\u00a0 And, the 2 Timothy verse that says \u201cGod does not give a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind,\u201d became my verse.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t overnight.\u00a0 It was a very long journey.\u00a0 Eventually what I learned was I had to quit praying, \u201cGod fix me.\u00a0 God help me.\u201d\u00a0 God was wanting me to participate in my healing.\u00a0 And, I needed to begin to take God\u2019s word, and meditate on it, and understand it, and pray it for myself.\u00a0 I wrote it on cards, and put these fear verses around my house.\u00a0 I just began to really eat and drink of it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I began to do that, God\u2019s word became a part of me and that whole\u2014everything about fear, I just realized it was all from the evil one. It wasn\u2019t from God.\u00a0 \u201cGreater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world.\u201d\u00a0 I just knew that I could win this.\u00a0 I could be victorious in Christ over the devil who had me in this prison of fear for 13 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 You\u2019ve painted Monty to be such a saint here.\u00a0 Such a noble man, a noble warrior on behalf of his wife, denying himself, entering into your pain and your fear, he promised you when he married you, \u201cdivorce\u201d would never be uttered.\u00a0 In those 13 years, while you remained locked up in that prison of fear, anger and bitterness, was there ever a heated moment?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 But that word was never spoken.\u00a0 There was never a threat or \u201cI\u2019m tired of this.\u201d Nothing, he never ever let me believe that he would leave me or abandon me.\u00a0 We had good times\u2014please don\u2019t think I lived in this terrible depression for 13 years.\u00a0 But our life was controlled by my fear. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Your life was defined by that fear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Had you been to see counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, anybody who tried to help walk you through this and unpack it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wendy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I saw Christian counselors, non-Christian counselors.\u00a0 I tried prescription medication, because I suffered from panic attacks all the time, but I know that my story is to direct women to God\u2019s word, because none of that helped me.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I dug into his word, that my healing came. And it came like a flowing river. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wendy you have been really gracious and I just appreciate you being open to share your story.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s a great love story.\u00a0 Every marriage should be that, even in its imperfection. And I appreciate you sharing that you had your moments, when there were dark moments that occurred between you and Monty. But, that your commitment and your covenant kept you in there, hanging in there with each other, loving one another, so that your tendency to be afraid never had a moment to wonder with Monty threatening to leave, or saying the \u201cD\u201d word.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s such a compelling illustration Bob.\u00a0 I just want to say to the listeners, if you use the \u201cD\u201d word, \u201cdivorce,\u201d let this story so move you as a couple, and the call to love one another for lifetime through covenant keeping love, let that become your mandate to never ever let that word pass your lips for the rest of your lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Well, in the same way that perfect love does cast out fear, when you entertain or inject the idea of breaking up a covenant relationship that infuses fear into a relationship.\u00a0 That\u2019s why as we talk to couples at our Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Conferences, we encourage them,\u00a0 you do need to speak the truth in love, but you need to know, both of you need to know, that you\u2019re committed.\u00a0 That you\u2019re not giving up on the marriage.\u00a0 Even if you have to take drastic measures, even if there needs to be a separation period, even if you need to get other people to intervene and help out, you don\u2019t threaten the foundation of your marital covenant. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mentioned the Weekend to Remember\u00ae, we are kicking off our Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Conference season here in a couple of weeks.\u00a0 If our listeners are interested in getting more information about how to attend one of these upcoming conferences, they can go online, at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You\u2019ll also find on our website information about Wendy\u2019s book.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner<\/em>, it tells her story, and tells about God\u2019s grace in the midst of her trial. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain you can find out more about the book online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can order from us online if you\u2019d like or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800 F as in \u201cfamily\u201d L as in \u201clife\u201d and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 And when you call we can make arrangements to get Wendy\u2019s book sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we are grateful here at FamilyLife for those of you who help support this ministry.\u00a0 Some of you do that from time to time as you\u2019re able.\u00a0 You send in a donation or you go online and make a donation.\u00a0 Others of you are legacy partners, and you make a monthly contribution to the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We appreciate you guys as well.\u00a0 Without listener support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> would not be able to be aired on this station or on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 So, in a very real sense, you are partners in helping make this daily radio program possible in your community, and in other parts of the country as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month if you\u2019re able to make a donation of any amount, to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019d love to send you a two-CD series that features a conversation that Dennis and I had a number of years ago with Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. He\u2019s the author of the book <em>Love and Respect<\/em>. We spent a couple of hours talking with him about the themes from that book and helping couples understand how love and respect are worked out in a marriage relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can request those two CDs when you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this month with a donation of any amount.\u00a0 If you\u2019re donating online at FamilyLifeToday.com, type the word \u201cRESPECT\u201d in the key code box you\u2019ll find on the online donation form.\u00a0 If you call to make your donation, 1-800-FLTODAY, just ask for the <em>Love and Respect<\/em> CDs when you make that donation and again, thanks for partnering with us in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. We really do appreciate you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow Wendy Blight is going to be back, we\u2019re going to continue to talk about God\u2019s grace in the midst of the valley of the shadow that she walked through.\u00a0 I hope you can be back with us for that.\u00a0 I want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of Familylife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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