{"id":301957,"date":"2010-01-08T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-01-08T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-playbook-for-heroes\/"},"modified":"2010-01-08T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2010-01-08T17:00:00","slug":"the-playbook-for-heroes","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-playbook-for-heroes\/","title":{"rendered":"The Playbook for Heroes"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Even Superman would struggle to meet the obligations and duties that face the average man!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-01-08.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"10.98M","filesize_raw":"11511427","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2901],"tags":[4868,5083,5084,5082],"podcast_series":[7700],"cwp_profile":[9183],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301957","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-husbands","tag-husband","tag-image-of-god","tag-role","tag-warrior","podcast_series-hero-unleashing-gods-power-in-a-mans-heart","cwp_profile-derwin-gray","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301957\/the-playbook-for-heroes","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301957\/the-playbook-for-heroes","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"kwD1g0jJo9\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-playbook-for-heroes\/\">The Playbook for Heroes<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-playbook-for-heroes\/embed\/#?secret=kwD1g0jJo9\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Playbook for Heroes&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"kwD1g0jJo9\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Even Superman would struggle to meet the obligations and duties that face the average man!","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2010-01-08.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Derwin Gray played major college football and then went into the NFL. He played there for six seasons.\u00a0 He was a two season Pro Bowl candidate.\u00a0 He has a word for those guys who will be playing in division playoff games in the NFL this weekend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Football is a false god, and a false god is never satisfied.\u00a0 Whenever you have to work to please a false god, you're always weary and tired.\u00a0 That's why Jesus says, \"All those who are heavy laden and weary, come unto me and I will give you rest.\"\u00a0 He gave me rest from trying to perform for acceptance and love. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, January 8<sup>th<\/sup>. Our host is the President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll hear about how God has rearranged Derwin Gray's priorities over the years on today's edition of our program. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> thanks for joining us on the Friday edition. We're going to talk to our guest Derwin Gray here in just a minute, but before that, we are beginning our programs here in 2010 by encouraging our listeners to spend some time each day in God's word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Just read it to one another, and just talk about it a little bit.\u00a0 It doesn't have to be a whole chapter. Just take a single verse and read it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And, we thought that a good way to get you pointed in that direction would be to share a verse with you here at the beginning of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> each day this month.\u00a0 The verse we're using is the verse that's found at the beginning of each of the daily devotionals in the book <em>Moments With You<\/em>, written by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 So, what's the verse for January 8<sup>th<\/sup>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Psalm 73: 16-17.\u00a0 Today is a bonus day.\u00a0 You get two verses today.\u00a0 \"When I pondered to understand this, it was troublesome in my sight.\u00a0 Until, I came into the sanctuary of God.\" Now, what is that saying?\u00a0 Well it says in life you're going to run into a lot of circumstances that aren't going to make a lot of sense.\u00a0 But when you get into the presence of God\u2014and His word, by the way\u2014all of a sudden, things begin to fall in place, because God brings perspective.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That doesn't mean that you'll get every question you have answered, but there is something about being in God's presence that brings peace, even when we don't have all the answers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That is exactly right.\u00a0 What I'd encourage you to do is sometime today before you retire, maybe at bedtime, just take this verse and talk about what you're facing as a couple.\u00a0 Some circumstance, some problem, some challenge... Maybe it's the loss of a job, or a challenge with a child, and pray together as a couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And the reference again, Psalm 73...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Verses 16 and 17.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Again our hope is whether it's this verse or a verse of your own choosing, you as a family will spend some time today together in God's word.\u00a0 We hope that will be a pattern that gets established here during the month of January, and continues in your family throughout the year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I also want to remind our listeners that next week is your last opportunity to sign up for one our upcoming FamilyLife <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/weekend\">Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Conferences<\/a>, and take advantage of the <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> buy-one-get-one-free offer that we've got going on.\u00a0 When you sign up and register for yourself, your spouse comes free.\u00a0 So you buy one registration, you get another one free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that offer is good for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners and it's good today and through next week, and then it expires.\u00a0 So if you want to take advantage of it, go online at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.familylifetoday.com\/\">FamilyLifeToday.com<\/a>, you can get all the information you need about when the conference is coming to a city near where you live.\u00a0 You can make plans to attend and then you can register online.\u00a0 But make sure you do this, when you register, as you fill out the registration form, there's a key code box on the registration form.\u00a0 Type my name, type \"Bob\" in there.\u00a0 They'll know you're a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, and you'll qualify for the buy one get one free offer. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr, simply call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 We can answer any questions you have about the conference, let you know when it's coming to a city near where you live, and then you just mention that you're a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener and again, you'll qualify for the special buy-one-get-one-free offer.\u00a0 It's good this week and next week only, for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I'll just remind you that Dennis and his wife Barbara are going to be speaking at the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember\u00ae\u00a0 in Washington DC, at the Washington National, Valentine's weekend.\u00a0 I'm going to be at the Hershey Lodge in Hershey, Pennsylvania that same weekend.\u00a0 So if you live in those areas and want to attend, we'd love to see you at one of the upcoming <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/weekend\">Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Conferences<\/a>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you played sports in college right?\u00a0 You were a basketball player.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Of sorts.\u00a0 Well we're seated across the table here from a former NFL.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You were the point guard at Crowder Community...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, no, no, I was...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Power forward?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Power bench.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(All laugh)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I didn't quit.\u00a0 That is my claim to fame.\u00a0 I got the \"Rough Rider\" award at Crowder College because, I got the fifteenth uniform as a freshman, and I hung in there and I started my very last game before I left college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Did you ever think to yourself when you were listening to the coach, did you ever think, I could do what he's doing, I could be the coach.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You never thought that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I never did.\u00a0 I never thought of myself as a coach. Let me tell you why I can say that.\u00a0 You and I had the privilege of interviewing Coach John Wooden.\u00a0 I'm just telling you after meeting the master of coaching, I never approached anything like that of being a teacher and having the patience that guy had. Not to mention his success.\u00a0 He personifies what it means to be a coach.\u00a0 And we're talking to someone today who personifies what it means to be a hero.\u00a0\u00a0 So, we want to pick his brain.\u00a0 We're going to turn Derwin Gray into a coach for heroes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>OK. Former NFL player, currently a pastor in Charlotte, two children, one wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And you wrote a book called <em>Hero: Unleashing God's Power in a Man's Heart<\/em>.\u00a0 You really have a burden to see guys embrace what it is God's calling them to be as men, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I do, I do.\u00a0 I have a passion to see men be all that they were created to be.\u00a0 Because, as men we have a divine birthright to be servant leaders, to shape, to influence not only our families, but this culture that we live in.\u00a0 In essence, as a coach there has to be a master passion that compels us and moves us to action.\u00a0 All of us live by some stories. Like for me, in college, before a scrimmage or football game, I would watch Rocky III.\u00a0\u00a0 I love to watch Rocky III, Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa.\u00a0 He'd get beat up, but some kind of way he'd win.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Now wait, is that Mr. T?\u00a0 Is that Rocky III, Mr. T?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, if you beat up Mr. T, you've done something.\u00a0 Just his story would compel me.\u00a0 Well there's a greater story that should compel us.\u00a0 The greater story is that God himself, the great hero is on mission to turn men into little heroes, to change the world.\u00a0 We can actually join God in his master passion of restoring humanity and restoring creation.\u00a0 If you want to have an exciting life, join the great Hero in what He's doing.\u00a0 But this master passion is God Himself, that our view of God is so low. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we see God for who He is, we will be enamored with Him.\u00a0 I think that when we get a glimpse of His greatness, His awesomeness, something begins to happen.\u00a0 His greatness rubs off on us.\u00a0\u00a0 That's the thesis of this book.\u00a0 That as we get near the Hero Himself, which is Jesus, His greatness, his power influences us to live a heroic life.\u00a0 So we begin to do things that we never thought that we could ever do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was a compulsive stutterer up until about, 13 years ago.\u00a0 I never dreamed of being a pastor, a communicator, I didn't like to read books until I became a Christian.\u00a0\u00a0 So writing a book was not even a dream.\u00a0 But when Jesus came, he said \"Derwin I'm going to put you in positions that will cause you to depend on me.\u00a0 When that happens, you're going to be somebody you never thought you could be.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo now I'm a pastor, I do TV... I'm on the show with two of my heroes! I mean, come on!\u00a0 Forget about it. I wrote a book are you kidding me?\u00a0 I'm sure some of my teachers in high school are saying, \"Derwin Gray did what?\u00a0 He wrote a book?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\"Who did he get to do this for him?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>My eighth grade English teacher is flopping around in the grave that I ever wrote a book.\u00a0 I get a feeling, how you're describing it, means that some of your teachers are doing the same thing.\u00a0 I want to take you back to Ephesians five where it commands us:\u00a0 \"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.\u00a0 And walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us. A fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.\"\u00a0 A hero is someone who does his duty and in the process he sacrifices for another.\u00a0 Is that your definition of a hero?\u00a0 How would you describe it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, I would describe it in similar language to that. Paul, in essence, is taking the Shamah, which is \"Listen Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One.\u00a0 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.\"\u00a0 After 10 years of ministry, my big idea, everything for me leads to this: Upward, inward, outward. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tUpward is, love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength.\u00a0 Love your neighbor as you love yourself.\u00a0 To love yourself leads to humility and compassion for your neighbor.\u00a0 So that's what a heroic life is.\u00a0 Is that God\u2014I love you because you first loved me, which all of a sudden allows me to love myself, which means, I'm no longer defined by my past. I'm no longer so insecure that I can't have a conflict resolution with my wife now.\u00a0 Because I'm secure, I can talk about difficult things.\u00a0 Because I'm secure, I can forgive those who have hurt me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then the third part, upward, inward, and then outward is I live a compassionate, sacrificial life to make somebody else's life better. It could be your wife, your children, your co-workers.\u00a0 If you're in high school, it's your classmates.\u00a0\u00a0 So that's what a heroic life is to me.\u00a0 Jesus is, in essence saying, \"Do you want to live a heroic life, do you want to define your purpose?\u00a0 Here it is.\u00a0 Love God\u2014upward. Love your neighbor as you love yourself\u2014inward, outward. That's what a heroic life is. And that's what's going to change the world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAre people who walk in God's love, living a sacrificial life?\u00a0 One of the things that I do throughout the book, is I ask what-if questions.\u00a0 What if we actually loved one another is such a way that it compelled us to treat each other with compassion?\u00a0 What if we lived in that kind of way?\u00a0 Do you know what would happen?\u00a0 The world would be changed one heart at a time, or as you guys say, one home at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 I believe that the way we're going to change our nation, is at the grassroots level.\u00a0 It's all about individual people becoming passionate about Christ in their own lives.\u00a0 As you said, \"Upward, inward, and then outward,\" reaching out to others, and investing their lives in other people. It wasn't always so for you.\u00a0 In fact, one of the things you kind of idolized was a very fine high quality suit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You liked looking good, didn't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes I did. When I was a little boy I saw a movie called \"Trading Places\" with Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy.\u00a0 Eddie Murphy was Billy Ray Valentine. He was a street bum, and these Chicago future traders made a bet, and they took Billy Ray Valentine off the streets.\u00a0 They gave him some nice suits.\u00a0 And so, as a young impressionable boy, I was thinking, \"I want some nice suits.\" So when I got in the NFL, man I...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You bought a suit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I bought a bunch of suits.\u00a0 My favorite suit though, my favorite suit was an all-white suit.\u00a0 I unveiled it in the first game of the season 1997.\u00a0 We go to play the Miami Dolphins.\u00a0 Now this suit was so nice, that when I got on the plane, my teammates were like, \"Wow!\"\u00a0\u00a0 So, I said, \"Hey, have your people call my people,\" you know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have to understand that for me and my worldview, how I dressed defined me.\u00a0 Because, when I looked in the mirror I didn't see a poor kid who had hand-me-downs I saw a \"man who had made it\" so to speak.\u00a0 So when I put on this suit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It was an identity for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, totally!\u00a0\u00a0 But here's the deal, when we become followers of Christ, Galatians 3:27 says, \"All those who believe in Christ are baptized into Christ.\"\u00a0 We're clothed with Christ. In other words, when God the Father looks at us, he doesn't see our past sins; he doesn't see our past failures.\u00a0 He sees us clothed with Christ.\u00a0 So, how we view ourselves based on what Christ has done for us and his life, death and resurrection, it changes how we live. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So, when you're talking to younger men today about being heroic, you've got to start with understanding your identity.\u00a0 If your identity is wrapped up in the values of the culture, you can never get to \"hero\" can you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You can't.\u00a0\u00a0 We suffer in an identity crisis.\u00a0 If you don't know who you are, you can never be all that God has created you to be.\u00a0 The NFL stands for \"National Football League\" right?\u00a0\u00a0 Well NFL players, we say this.\u00a0 It stands for \"Not for long.\"\u00a0 Now, 80% of NFL players within three years of retirement from the NFL go through bankruptcy, divorce or substance abuse.\u00a0 One of the reasons I think that happens, is that they're identity is based on being a football player.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was an NFL player, I lived in a lot of fear.\u00a0 Because, if I lost my job, who would I be?\u00a0 I would be nobody because my identity was wrapped up in what I did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I became a follower of Christ, a new NFL happened. I had a \"New found life.\"\u00a0 This new-found life was not based on my performance, but based on the performance of Christ.\u00a0\u00a0 So, therefore my identity determines my function.\u00a0 The gospel is more than us going to heaven when we die, it\u2019s God giving us a secure identity to live from so that we can flourish and be the men we've been created to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You describe yourself in your book as a friend of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That's where your identity was.\u00a0 It was interesting, before we came in here, we were together and we shared some time of prayer.\u00a0 I want you to share with our listeners one of the ways you address God when you pray.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I address God as \u201cPapa.\u201d\u00a0 I've been doing that for about seven years now.\u00a0 I get that from Jesus when he calls God \"Abba\" which is the Aramaic word for \"Papa\", or \"Daddy.\"\u00a0 So for me when I address God, it's \"Papa,\" He's my Papa.\u00a0 That's the way I address Him because, to have a relationship with my Papa that I can climb on his lap and say \"Papa, today was a rough day,\" and my papa's there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>This is so fundamental to our understanding of how we're related to God, what our identity is in Christ, so foundational to how we're going to live.\u00a0 You were talking to a young man in your church; I think you called him \"Desmond\" in the book.\u00a0 He was struggling with this intimate relationship that you were talking about with God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, Desmond had a rough go.\u00a0 His dad verbally abused him, gave him alcohol, he started drinking and going to school at 16 was sexually molested.\u00a0 He had confusion about whether he liked men or does he like women.\u00a0 It wasn't until the gospel of Jesus Christ liberated him to be the man that he was created to be.\u00a0 One of the cool things is, when he became a follower of Christ, when he got married, he invited his friends who were in the homosexual and bi-sexual lifestyle to his wedding, to be as Ephesians 2:7 says, \"A trophy of grace.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You've received grace and you've also given grace.\u00a0 You shared earlier about your relationship with your dad.\u00a0 How he, for all practical purposes, walked out of your life when you were five.\u00a0 Really never saw any of your games when you played in high school, college, or the NFL.\u00a0\u00a0 And yet, when I asked you about your relationship with him, you said you'd come to a point of forgiving your dad for not being there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Right.\u00a0 Yes, this was probably back in 2001, and I was writing letters to my family and friends saying how great Jesus was and his forgiveness.\u00a0 I heard a voice, I don't know if it was God's voice or my voice.\u00a0 But the voice said, \"Find your father.\"\u00a0 I said, \"No.\"\u00a0 Voice continued, I said, \"No.\"\u00a0 It continued and finally I called home to Texas to find out where he was, and I found out that he was incarcerated, found out where exactly he was, and I wrote the most difficult letter I've ever written. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt said, \"Dad I want you to know that I love you, and I forgive you, and I want you to be a part of my life, my wife's life, and your grandkids.\"\u00a0 So I sent the letter off and I didn't hear anything back for a while. And then I sent the letter again. S ome time went by.\u00a0 I'm walking to the mailbox and I get the mail, and sorting through the mail.\u00a0 And all of a sudden, I see this letter from him.\u00a0 It was like I was teleported back in time.\u00a0 I felt like a little boy.\u00a0 So I'm just weeping and crying.\u00a0 I go to my office and I tear open this letter and I'm just shaking.\u00a0 I'm shaking because I don't know what it's going to say.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe wrote the words that I longed to hear my whole life from my dad.\u00a0 He said, \"Son, thank you for forgiving me. I want you to know that I love you and I want to be a part of your family's life.\"\u00a0 I just wept and I wept and I wept, and wept.\u00a0 But the only way I was able to do that, was God saying \"Derwin I gave you grace and love to give grace and love even when you don't want to.\"\u00a0 That's what changed my relationship with my dad.\u00a0 So, we've gotten closer and I've been able to help him at times. Is our relationship perfect?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 But what it is, it's reconciled.\u00a0 He's my friend and I'm his friend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know, Derwin what you're modeling here is Bill Bright's verse. Bill Bright was President of Campus Crusade for Christ, a good friend, and Bob and I had the privilege of interviewing him here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0 I heard him quote this verse, I'll bet a hundred times.\u00a0 Galatians 2:20 \"I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.\u00a0 And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat you just modeled for a lot of people listening, and for us as well, is the willingness to return forgiveness to someone who had profoundly hurt you, and hadn't been there.\u00a0 There are times in our lives when we know we're really acting like real men.\u00a0 You were never more of a man than when you forgave your daddy for not being there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I appreciate that.\u00a0 That Galatians 2:20 is one of my life's verses.\u00a0 That's what being a hero is. The thesis of my whole book could be Galatians 2:20 because at the end of the day, in order for us to live a heroic life, the Hero must come and indwell us and live through us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes. And you demonstrate that.\u00a0 Thanks for being on our program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Derwin:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>For sharing your story.\u00a0 You're a good man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Let me say thanks as well on behalf of all the guys who are going to get a copy of your book and read it and benefit from it.\u00a0 The book is called <em>Hero:<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>Unleashing God's Power in a Man's Heart<\/em> and we've got copies of the book in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center. Go online to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.familylifetoday.com\/\">FamilyLifeToday.com<\/a> and there's information available there about how you can get a copy of the book <em>Hero <\/em>by Derwin Gray.\u00a0 Again the website is <a href=\"http:\/\/www.familylifetoday.com\/\">FamilyLifeToday.com<\/a>, or call us, toll-free, 1-800-FLTODAY, and we can give you more information about how you can get a copy of Derwin's book sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also suggest that one of the most heroic things you can do as a husband is to take the initiative with your wife in setting aside some time for the two of you to reflect on your relationship. To take your temperature, say \"How are we doing? How can we do better?\" And one place where you can do that is the FamilyLife <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/weekend\">Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Conference<\/a>. We're about to kick off the spring season of conferences. We'll do that Valentine's weekend. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact Dennis and Barbara are going to be at the Gaylord National Hotel in Washington, D.C., that weekend.\u00a0 And I'm going to be at the Hershey Lodge in Hershey, Pennsylvania that weekend. And there are conferences in other cities that same weekend. And then throughout the spring and into June in cities all across the country we'll have Weekend to Remember\u00ae Conferences taking place.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGuys, why don't you, go online today at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.familylifetoday.com\/\">FamilyLifeToday.com<\/a> find out when the conference is coming to a city near where you live, call your wife and say, \"Hey why don't we go to this?\" And then, contact us and register.\u00a0 If you register and mention that you're a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener, when you register for one person, the second registration for your spouse is absolutely free.\u00a0 That's good this week and next week only. So we need to hear from you, and we need to know you're a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you're registering online, type my name, type \"Bob\" in the key code box on the online registration form. That will let us know that you listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Or if you register by phone at 1-800-FLTODAY, just mention, \"I listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\", or \"Bob told me to call.\"\u00a0 And, again, you'll qualify for the buy-one-get-one-free registration offer we're making available to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners this week and next week.\u00a0 So we do hope to hear from you, and hope you enjoy your weekend together at one our upcoming FamilyLife <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/weekend\">Weekend to Remember\u00ae Marriage Conferences<\/a>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd one final note, related to that.\u00a0 For those of you who are interested in helping to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> by making regular donations as a Legacy Partner, when you sign up to become a Legacy Partner, and when you make your monthly donation via recurring credit card draft or bank draft, we will send you a certificate for both of you to attend a Weekend to Remember as our guests.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you can attend one of these upcoming conferences, again as our guests when you sign up as a new Legacy Partner and make your donations via credit card or bank draft.\u00a0 You can sign up online at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.familylifetoday.com\/\">FamilyLifeToday.com<\/a>, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY to become a Legacy Partner.\u00a0 And, again I want to say thanks in advance for your support of this ministry we appreciate your financial partnership in helping keep this program on the air in this city, and in other cities all across the country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, we hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend.\u00a0 I hope you can join us back on Monday, when we're going to talk to a couple whose marriage ended, and then was resurrected.\u00a0 Clint and Penny Bragg share their story with us on Monday. Hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine. We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today, Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301957","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301957"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301957"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301957"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301957"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301957"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301957"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301957"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}