{"id":301913,"date":"2009-11-02T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-11-02T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/teaching-kids-to-be-thankful\/"},"modified":"2009-11-02T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-11-02T17:00:00","slug":"teaching-kids-to-be-thankful","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teaching-kids-to-be-thankful\/","title":{"rendered":"Teaching Kids to be Thankful"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Would you like your children to be more grateful?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-11-02.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11.41M","filesize_raw":"11959011","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2823],"tags":[4615,4792],"podcast_series":[7684],"cwp_profile":[3052],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301913","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-thanksgiving","tag-gratitude","tag-thanksgiving","podcast_series-barbara-rainey-on-gratitude","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301913\/teaching-kids-to-be-thankful","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301913\/teaching-kids-to-be-thankful","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Df0UAcFQ8M\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teaching-kids-to-be-thankful\/\">Teaching Kids to be Thankful<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teaching-kids-to-be-thankful\/embed\/#?secret=Df0UAcFQ8M\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Teaching Kids to be Thankful&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Df0UAcFQ8M\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-11-02.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-11-02.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Why aren\u2019t our children more grateful?\u00a0\u00a0 Well Barbara says it is simple because they like us are selfish!\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 My daughter, Ashley, called me and said, \u201cMom, I have figured out what my problem is.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cOkay?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cIt is Daniel!\u201d\u00a0 I laughed!\u00a0 Daniel was her 14 month old at the time and I said, \u201cOh!\u00a0 Why is Daniel the problem?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cWell, I have realized that I have been ..... When he fusses I just pick him up to make him quiet because I can\u2019t stand all the noise.\u201d\u00a0 Well, the reason Daniel is her problem is because Daniel was born selfish.\u00a0 He wants what he wants, when he wants it.\u00a0 It is our job, as parents, to train our children to be grateful.\u00a0\u00a0 They are not born naturally grateful.\u00a0 And neither are we!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, November 2<sup>nd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I am Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Today we are going to explore the link between selfishness and a lack of gratitude as we seek to raise children who are thankful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\u00a0\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your kids were born grateful, weren\u2019t they, Bob?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was just going to say that was not very nice what your wife said.\u00a0 I mean it is true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Think about that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But, it is not very nice.\u00a0 It\u2019s true!\u00a0 It is just not very nice to call our kids selfish from the start.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 14 months old! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But, they are! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What a picture of selfishness!\u00a0 I mean, are they cute and cuddly and loveable and all that, but do they want what they want when they want it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They have to be taught how to be grateful, which is what we are going to spend some time unpacking this week and we have your wife joining us to do that; Barbara, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you, Bob!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Nice to have you here!\u00a0 This is something that for whatever reason, this has been a passion of yours for years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have thought a lot about gratitude and I think that a lot of it is born out of the fact that my children were not grateful, and it drove me crazy.\u00a0 It was a felt need! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You figured, I have got to fix this somehow?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here she is a crazy woman coming on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It also ties to the fact that your favorite holiday of the year is Thanksgiving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You wrote a book a number of years ago that was the story of the Pilgrims\u2019 coming to America, \u201cThanksgiving a Time to Remember.\u201d\u00a0 What you tried to capture in that book was the remarkable story of a people who were grateful, in spite of incredible hardships.\u00a0 We whine about a fingernail that tears.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 Oh!\u00a0 Or any number of other things that are so insignificant and trivial and that really impressed me probably more than anything about the story of the pilgrims\u2019 who came on the Mayflower is their heart of gratitude.\u00a0 They stopped and gave thanks to God for everything in every situation no matter how hard it was.\u00a0 They had nothing they did not have homes, they didn\u2019t have grocery stores, they didn\u2019t have doctors present when they got sick, and they just had nothing compared to what we do and yet they expressed gratitude and we have everything and we complain all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 We make the story of the Mayflower and the Pilgrims coming over to America such a story book.\u00a0 The thing I liked about what Barbara did in her book....\u00a0 By the way, if you don\u2019t have \u201cThanksgiving a Time to Remember,\u201d I just want to tell every family listening, you need to get this and read it for your kids because the very thing we are talking about here is spelled out in the book.\u00a0 It will take you into the ...\u2019below deck in the Mayflower\u2019 where it was a stench.\u00a0 I mean, people throwing up and all sorts of other things, it wasn\u2019t this storybook \u2018happily....\u2019\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t pretty! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 And it wasn\u2019t comfortable! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Our kids need to realize that our freedom here as a country came out of great pain, sacrifice, and turmoil.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well and you have designed a new resource for families this year at Thanksgiving that you are hoping will reinforce this theme of gratitude, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am!\u00a0 I believe that one of the best teachers for children is hearing stories. So, we have come up with a one week series of devotions to be read to children that are stories of gratitude.\u00a0 These devotions tell how different people have expressed gratitude in their lives over different situations and the idea is if you are talking to your kids about gratitude everyday for seven days, maybe it will stick a little bit.\u00a0 It is not going to transform their lives, but maybe it will stick a little bit and it will give you an opportunity to talk with your kids about why it is so important to give thanks in everything.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, today we are going to hear the first part of a message you shared with a number of moms; I think it was last thanksgiving, talking about how you cultivate a heart of gratitude in your children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara\u2019s Message:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven though I love the reason for the Christmas season, and I love a lot of things about Christmas, Thanksgiving really and truly is my favorite holiday.\u00a0 I love the fall season.\u00a0 I love Thanksgiving, because it is a time for family and it is uncluttered by a lot of the stress of the Christmas season.\u00a0 I also love Thanksgiving season because it calls us to practice a biblical command that we don\u2019t do nearly often enough, especially in America and that is to give thanks!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn 1 Thessalonians 5:18 it says this; \u201cIn everything give thanks for this is God\u2019s will for you in Christ Jesus.\u201d\u00a0 It is a command!\u00a0 And it says, \u201cIn EVERYTHING give thanks.\u201d\u00a0 That is pretty hard to do isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 It is pretty hard to give thanks in a lot of things in our lives.\u00a0 Well we are going to talk about WHY we should give thanks and how we can improve our gratitude quotient. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen my kids were growing up I began to read them stories in the Thanksgiving holiday about the Pilgrims.\u00a0 I was a history major in college and I wanted my kids to know the truth about the beginning days of our country.\u00a0 I wanted them to know the true facts about our Christian heritage.\u00a0 So, I began reading them little stories that I would find here and there about the Pilgrims and about our founding of our country.\u00a0 But, I also wanted my kids to become thankful.\u00a0 I wanted them to focus on something besides football and food at Thanksgiving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I began to teach my kids to be grateful and to talk about what they were thankful for.\u00a0 So, in the early days when my kids were still really little, I would pull out just ruled notebook paper or construction paper, or whatever we would find, and I would have them practice on Thanksgiving Day writing what they were thankful for.\u00a0 Then as I began to find more and more of these stories, I began to read them.\u00a0 Here is one of the ones that my kids loved the best.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>It starts like this: <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Mayflower is a small wooden ship with billowing sails was the vessel that God used to bring a group of Christian believers to an unseen land far over the Atlantic.\u00a0 These Christian men and women, called Pilgrims, believed that God was leading them to establish a new community where they could worship freely.\u00a0 As Americans, we celebrate Thanksgiving every year because of the profound faith in uncommon courage of these English men and women.\u00a0 And it is good for us to read their stories and to hear what they did and to hear how they believed God, because it will inspire us to be courageous as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, in September of 1620, after enduring many delays and difficulties, these Pilgrims finally said their last \u2018Good-byes\u2019 and boarded the Mayflower and set sail for the New World.\u00a0 The food was terrible with brine-soaked beef and pork in salt.\u00a0 The rooms for passengers were crowded and below deck.\u00a0 Conditions were miserable, cramped quarters, seasick people vomiting into pails if they were able to find a pail in time.\u00a0 A foul mixture of odors grew in such an environment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose kind of stories of the deprivation and the difficulties that they went through really helped my kids to be grateful, because all of a sudden as they listened to this story and they listened to these condition it made them realize how much they had and how much they had to be grateful for.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I want to give you three things for why we struggle with gratitude.\u00a0 Why do we as people struggle with having gratitude?\u00a0 I think the first reason is because we have so much.\u00a0 Our prosperity is breeding a nation of ungrateful people.\u00a0 And secondly, I think we are ungrateful, because by nature we are just selfish.\u00a0 We are born that way!\u00a0 By nature we all want what we want when we want it.\u00a0 We want to control our own lives.\u00a0 We believe we are entitled to so much, and when we don\u2019t get what we want we complain about it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy daughter, Ashley, called me last spring, I picked up the phone, and she said, \u201cMom, I have figured out what my problem is.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cOkay?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cIt is Daniel!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI laughed!\u00a0 Daniel was her 14 month old at the time and I said, \u201cOh!\u00a0 Why is Daniel the problem?\u201d\u00a0 And she said, \u201cWell, I think he\u2019s the one that is driving me crazy!\u00a0 And then she began to talk about various things.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI know he has got allergies, and I know he is the last one, so he has to be louder to be heard;\u201d she has five boys, by-the-way.\u00a0 So she said, \u201cI have realized that when he fusses I just pick him up to make him quiet because I can\u2019t stand all the noise.\u00a0 And I need a break.\u00a0 So, rather than training him to wait or to be patient, I just pick him up.\u00a0 I realized that he is running my life and he is my problem.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, the reason Daniel is her problem is because he was born selfish.\u00a0 He wants what he wants, when he wants it.\u00a0 And it is our job, as parents, to train our children to be grateful.\u00a0\u00a0 They are not born naturally grateful.\u00a0 And neither are we!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe third reason I think gratitude is difficult, why it is so hard for us to be grateful as people, is because we are often disappointed in life.\u00a0 Things don\u2019t work out the way we would like for them to.\u00a0 And it makes us sad, makes us disappointed, and it causes us to be ungrateful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis came home to our family in a real dramatic way when our daughter Rebecca, who is my fourth child, had a little girl named Molly.\u00a0 Molly only lived seven days!\u00a0 And in the midst of those seven days of Molly\u2019s life, I realized how important it was to give thanks for everything because God is in control and we are not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was nothing we could do for little Molly!\u00a0 There was nothing the doctors could do for little Molly!\u00a0 And we were left knowing that we had no other choice but to give thanks to God, and to take from His hand, what He had given us, what He had given them and what He had given us as a family.\u00a0 And that is the attitude that the Pilgrims had.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey suffered much, but they knew that God was in control and they took what God gave them with great gratitude.\u00a0 I have to say, that while giving thanks to God in that week of Molly\u2019s life wasn\u2019t really that difficult for me and I can\u2019t explain it except that I had no other choice!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tComplaining would have changed nothing!\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t what my daughter needed, it wasn\u2019t what my son-in-law needed, and there just wasn\u2019t any other choice, but to give thanks to God for what He was doing even though we didn\u2019t understand it and we didn\u2019t like it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think being grateful is hard for us because we are naturally selfish and because we have so much and expect so much, but also because we are often disappointed in life.\u00a0 We don\u2019t like being disappointed.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t fit our plan!\u00a0 It is not what we had in mind.\u00a0 And so, our tendency, our natural inborn tendency, is to complain and to gripe instead of giving thanks.\u00a0 But God calls us to be a grateful people and to take everything from His hand with thanksgiving.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, why is gratitude so important?\u00a0 I have three reasons for this as well.\u00a0 First of all gratitude is important, because ... A) It\u2019s core! Gratitude is a heart that trusts God.\u00a0 It is an expression of faith in Him.\u00a0 There is a verse that I wonder how many of you know, and it goes like this:\u00a0 \u201cDo all things without grumbling or disputing.\u201d\u00a0 How many of you know that verse?\u00a0 Grumbling means murmuring in discontent, it means arguing it means disputing, it means disagreeing with.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I want to show you what it looks like.\u00a0 We have a wall of children\u2019s photographs in our office, and this photograph is my very favorite; partly, because it looks a lot like my grandson, but partly because it really is an image of what I do so often in my heart toward God.\u00a0 And this is the photograph.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you love it?\u00a0 I just keep looking at this little guy and his little furrowed brow and his squinty eyes and you can just see he just stomping his feet at the same time.\u00a0 But this is a picture of what griping and complaining looks like.\u00a0 How many of you have seen it in your house?\u00a0 More times than you would like?\u00a0 And while we think that this picture is really cute, and this little guy is just adorable in the photograph, it is not so cute when it is your child.\u00a0 It is not so cute when he is doing this to you, is it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt makes me wonder, \u201cWhat must God feel when I do this to Him?\u00a0 When I cross my arms, and I furrow my brow, and I stomp my foot at Him, and say, \u201cThat\u2019s not what I wanted in life, that is not the way I wanted it to be.\u201d\u00a0 Or maybe I don\u2019t do it so physically and dramatically, and maybe in my heart I am just unhappy.\u00a0 I am not grateful!\u00a0\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to do this and stomp your feet.\u00a0 You can be ungrateful in your heart and not express thanksgiving to God.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think God likes it with us any more than we like it with our children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPhilippians 2:4, the verse I just quoted, \u201cDo all things without grumbling or disputing,\u201d is a verse that I make my kids memorize.\u00a0 I thought if I got them to memorize the verse it would cure some of the griping and complaining in their lives.\u00a0 But, it didn\u2019t work!\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t the miracle cure I had hoped for.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI realized that the reason why is because gratitude is a choice! They were choosing to be complaining and griping.\u00a0 They were choosing to be upset about the way things were.\u00a0 Being thankful is a matter of the will.\u00a0 It is a matter of obedience!\u00a0 It is a muscle that needs to be exercised in our hearts.\u00a0 Our hearts choose thankfulness or they choose complaining.\u00a0 So, even though I had my kids memorize the verse, it was still their choice if they were going to complain and gripe, or if they were going to be thankful.\u00a0 And the same is true for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, gratitude is so important, because God commands us to be grateful and to express thanksgiving to Him.\u00a0 Ephesians 5:20 says, \u201cAlways giving thanks for all things in the name of Jesus Christ.\u201d\u00a0 It says, \u201cAlways.\u201d\u00a0 Not just when we feel like it, not when it feels good and circumstances are the way I want them to be, but always.\u00a0 Always covers everything!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then it says in that verse, \u201cfor all things.\u201d\u00a0 Not just the good things, not just the pleasant things, but the things we may not like, the thing we don\u2019t understand the things that are difficult, and hard and disappointing.\u00a0 God wants us to give thanks!\u00a0 Why does He want us to give thanks?\u00a0 Because it expresses faith in Him that He knows what He is doing and that He always acts in good toward us.\u00a0 His intentions are always good.\u00a0 They are always kind.\u00a0 They are always loving. So everything He gives us, everything He allows into our lives is because He loves us.\u00a0 He wants us to trust him and say thank you Father for what You are doing and for what You are allowing in my life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then third, God regards complaining as a serious offense.\u00a0 In the book of Numbers, chapters 13 and 14 there is the story of the Israelites and how the Israelites did not believe God, but instead complained against Him.\u00a0 They chose fear instead of faith and they rebelled against Him.\u00a0 As a result, God allowed them to wander in the wilderness for forty years.\u00a0 I wrote about this in my book, too.\u00a0 On a section titled, \u201cThe difference between grumbling and gratitude.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDoes it ever seem surprising to you that God made the Israelites wander in the wilderness for forty years because they grumbled?\u00a0 Anybody think that?\u00a0 That has always puzzled me!\u00a0 Grumbling just seems like such a minor offense compared with murder and some these bad things.\u00a0 Why would God make them wander for forty years for just complaining?\u00a0 I mean really!\u00a0 My kids may have spent 30 minutes in their room for complaining, but forty years?\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 What a severe discipline!\u00a0 Ouch!\u00a0 It seems really harsh to us from our perspective, doesn\u2019t it?\u00a0\u00a0 Clearly God is not pleased with grumbling.\u00a0 It does not make Him happy to hear his children to complain constantly.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing grateful is a choice.\u00a0 It is not a feeling that is dependent on our circumstances, as we clearly see in the Pilgrim\u2019s lives.\u00a0 They believed that God was in control; providence they called it.\u00a0 They responded to the circumstances from a perspective that said God has allowed this for our good.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJohn Piper has said this, \u201cGratitude is past oriented dependence and faith is future oriented dependence.\u00a0 Both forms of dependence are humble, self-forgetting, and God exalting.\u00a0 If we do not believe we are deeply dependent on God, for all that we have or hope to have, then the very spring of gratitude and of faith runs dry.\u00a0 You see they\u2019re connected.\u00a0 If we are not grateful, then we are not expressing faith.\u00a0 They go together!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, gratitude is an expression of faith in God, in who He is and what He is allowing in our lives.\u00a0 Grumbling is evil, because it says my wishes and my desires are more important than God\u2019s wishes and God\u2019s desires.\u00a0 And that is why God punished the people of Israel for forty years.\u00a0 Their intentions were, \u201cI want my way, I want what I want, I don\u2019t want what You (God) want, and He (God) had to make and example of them.\u00a0 It even says in 1 Corinthians that they are an example to us about how God feels about grumbling and complaining.\u00a0 Grumbling is a complete lack of faith in God\u2019s providence and His goodness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well we have been listening today to the first part of a message from Barbara Rainey speaking to a group of moms on the subject of gratitude.\u00a0 It is interesting to me how seriously grumbling is taken in the Bible.\u00a0 We tend to think of it as one of those little sins and we excuse it in our own lives and in the lives of our kids.\u00a0 God doesn\u2019t just turn away from grumbling He addresses it head on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tB<strong>arbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes!\u00a0 And you know, that is one of the things about the story that has always been so stunning to me.\u00a0 That God made the Israelites wander for forty years because they complained.\u00a0 I think about my perspective on grumbling; I may have sent my kids to their room for 30 minutes, but 40 years is a pretty dramatic judgment on something that we take so lightly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The habit of grumbling is an easy one to fall into, again because it is a part of our sin nature.\u00a0 And a hard one to break isn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes!\u00a0 It really is!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0 You know, as Barbara was talking I was thinking, \u201cI wonder what Webster\u2019s Dictionary has to say about grumbling?\u201d\u00a0 So I grabbed it off the shelf here and it says\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGrumble:\u00a0 to mutter in discontent.\u00a0 When we gripe and grumble and complain, what are we ultimately saying?\u00a0 I don\u2019t like my circumstances; I do not like the lot I have been given.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhether we are children or adults I think we have to be called away from grumbling and griping and complaining to the concept of contentment and resting in the fact that there is a God and He is in charge and we are not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can\u2019t always dictate what our circumstances are.\u00a0 We are not in control!\u00a0 And so, we have to learn this lesson of being grateful and being thankful and having gratitude.\u00a0 Bob, I have to tell you, Barbara has been talking about this project of writing seven devotionals for families for ... I don\u2019t know......\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Years! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Maybe a decade!\u00a0 She has been talking about this for a long time!\u00a0 I am really excited about this resource because it is seven different stories around seven issues: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGiving thanks for discomfort - there is a story about that, about fleas.\u00a0 Kids like that one! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinding the good in the bad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing thankful when betrayed.\u00a0 Anybody listening who has been betrayed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBe thankful for handicaps \u2013 limitations\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing thankful for providence\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing thankful for deliverance...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd giving thanks when no rescue happens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow could we thank God when it seems like He hasn\u2019t heard our prayers and didn\u2019t deliver us from that what was causing the discomfort.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 We think that this tool that Barbara has put together, this devotional guide, <em>Growing Together in Gratitude<\/em>, is going to be so helpful for families that we are making it available this month to folks who call or write or request it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll we ask is that you make a donation of any amount that supports <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 So, you can either go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, make a donation of any amount, and just type the word \u201cGRATITUDE\u201d in the key code box on the online donation form and we will send you the devotional.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, we appreciate whatever you can do to help support the ministry financially, but we want you to have this devotional guide, so you make a donation of any amount this month and we will send the guide out to you\u00a0 or call, toll-free, 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 You can make your donation over the phone and just ask for Barbara\u2019s brand new devotional for families called, <em>Growing Together in Gratitude<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0 I think that this is still so new that it\u2019s actually not in stores.\u00a0 You can\u2019t get it anywhere other than <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 So, either go online and make a donation, or call 1-800-FLTODAY and make a donation and just ask for the gratitude book from Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say thanks in advance for your financial support of the ministry.\u00a0 Let me also encourage you if you don\u2019t have Barbara\u2019s Thanksgiving book, <em>Thanksgiving a Time to Remember<\/em> that tells the Thanksgiving story.\u00a0 That is a tremendous resource to have, to read together as a family as you prepare for Thanksgiving or actually on Thanksgiving Day.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is more information of how you can get that book on our web site FamilyLifeToday.com, or again, if you need information, call us at 1-800-FLTODAY and we can make arrangements to have Barbara\u2019s <em>Thanksgiving a Time to Remember<\/em> book sent to you.\u00a0 And of course we can get it there in plenty of time so you can have it this year for Thanksgiving.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow tomorrow, we are going to hear part two of Barbara\u2019s message on gratitude and we are going to talk more about how we can cultivate a heart of gratitude in our children.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I am Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["11.41M"],"filesize_raw":["11959011"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-301913.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-301913.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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you like your children to be more grateful?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-11-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Why aren\u2019t our children more grateful?\u00a0\u00a0 Well Barbara says it is simple because they like us are selfish!\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 My daughter, Ashley, called me and said, \u201cMom, I have figured out what my problem is.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cOkay?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cIt is Daniel!\u201d\u00a0 I laughed!\u00a0 Daniel was her 14 month old at the time and I said, \u201cOh!\u00a0 Why is Daniel the problem?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cWell, I have realized that I have been ..... When he fusses I just pick him up to make him quiet because I can\u2019t stand all the noise.\u201d\u00a0 Well, the reason Daniel is her problem is because Daniel was born selfish.\u00a0 He wants what he wants, when he wants it.\u00a0 It is our job, as parents, to train our children to be grateful.\u00a0\u00a0 They are not born naturally grateful.\u00a0 And neither are we!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, November 2<sup>nd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is President of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I am Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Today we are going to explore the link between selfishness and a lack of gratitude as we seek to raise children who are thankful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>!\u00a0\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your kids were born grateful, weren\u2019t they, Bob?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was just going to say that was not very nice what your wife said.\u00a0 I mean it is true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Think about that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But, it is not very nice.\u00a0 It\u2019s true!\u00a0 It is just not very nice to call our kids selfish from the start.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 14 months old! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But, they are! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What a picture of selfishness!\u00a0 I mean, are they cute and cuddly and loveable and all that, but do they want what they want when they want it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They have to be taught how to be grateful, which is what we are going to spend some time unpacking this week and we have your wife joining us to do that; Barbara, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you, Bob!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Nice to have you here!\u00a0 This is something that for whatever reason, this has been a passion of yours for years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have thought a lot about gratitude and I think that a lot of it is born out of the fact that my children were not grateful, and it drove me crazy.\u00a0 It was a felt need! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You figured, I have got to fix this somehow?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here she is a crazy woman coming on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It also ties to the fact that your favorite holiday of the year is Thanksgiving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You wrote a book a number of years ago that was the story of the Pilgrims\u2019 coming to America, \u201cThanksgiving a Time to Remember.\u201d\u00a0 What you tried to capture in that book was the remarkable story of a people who were grateful, in spite of incredible hardships.\u00a0 We whine about a fingernail that tears.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 Oh!\u00a0 Or any number of other things that are so insignificant and trivial and that really impressed me probably more than anything about the story of the pilgrims\u2019 who came on the Mayflower is their heart of gratitude.\u00a0 They stopped and gave thanks to God for everything in every situation no matter how hard it was.\u00a0 They had nothing they did not have homes, they didn\u2019t have grocery stores, they didn\u2019t have doctors present when they got sick, and they just had nothing compared to what we do and yet they expressed gratitude and we have everything and we complain all the time. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 We make the story of the Mayflower and the Pilgrims coming over to America such a story book.\u00a0 The thing I liked about what Barbara did in her book....\u00a0 By the way, if you don\u2019t have \u201cThanksgiving a Time to Remember,\u201d I just want to tell every family listening, you need to get this and read it for your kids because the very thing we are talking about here is spelled out in the book.\u00a0 It will take you into the ...\u2019below deck in the Mayflower\u2019 where it was a stench.\u00a0 I mean, people throwing up and all sorts of other things, it wasn\u2019t this storybook \u2018happily....\u2019\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t pretty! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 And it wasn\u2019t comfortable! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Our kids need to realize that our freedom here as a country came out of great pain, sacrifice, and turmoil.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well and you have designed a new resource for families this year at Thanksgiving that you are hoping will reinforce this theme of gratitude, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am!\u00a0 I believe that one of the best teachers for children is hearing stories. So, we have come up with a one week series of devotions to be read to children that are stories of gratitude.\u00a0 These devotions tell how different people have expressed gratitude in their lives over different situations and the idea is if you are talking to your kids about gratitude everyday for seven days, maybe it will stick a little bit.\u00a0 It is not going to transform their lives, but maybe it will stick a little bit and it will give you an opportunity to talk with your kids about why it is so important to give thanks in everything.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, today we are going to hear the first part of a message you shared with a number of moms; I think it was last thanksgiving, talking about how you cultivate a heart of gratitude in your children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara\u2019s Message:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven though I love the reason for the Christmas season, and I love a lot of things about Christmas, Thanksgiving really and truly is my favorite holiday.\u00a0 I love the fall season.\u00a0 I love Thanksgiving, because it is a time for family and it is uncluttered by a lot of the stress of the Christmas season.\u00a0 I also love Thanksgiving season because it calls us to practice a biblical command that we don\u2019t do nearly often enough, especially in America and that is to give thanks!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn 1 Thessalonians 5:18 it says this; \u201cIn everything give thanks for this is God\u2019s will for you in Christ Jesus.\u201d\u00a0 It is a command!\u00a0 And it says, \u201cIn EVERYTHING give thanks.\u201d\u00a0 That is pretty hard to do isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 It is pretty hard to give thanks in a lot of things in our lives.\u00a0 Well we are going to talk about WHY we should give thanks and how we can improve our gratitude quotient. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen my kids were growing up I began to read them stories in the Thanksgiving holiday about the Pilgrims.\u00a0 I was a history major in college and I wanted my kids to know the truth about the beginning days of our country.\u00a0 I wanted them to know the true facts about our Christian heritage.\u00a0 So, I began reading them little stories that I would find here and there about the Pilgrims and about our founding of our country.\u00a0 But, I also wanted my kids to become thankful.\u00a0 I wanted them to focus on something besides football and food at Thanksgiving. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I began to teach my kids to be grateful and to talk about what they were thankful for.\u00a0 So, in the early days when my kids were still really little, I would pull out just ruled notebook paper or construction paper, or whatever we would find, and I would have them practice on Thanksgiving Day writing what they were thankful for.\u00a0 Then as I began to find more and more of these stories, I began to read them.\u00a0 Here is one of the ones that my kids loved the best.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>It starts like this: <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Mayflower is a small wooden ship with billowing sails was the vessel that God used to bring a group of Christian believers to an unseen land far over the Atlantic.\u00a0 These Christian men and women, called Pilgrims, believed that God was leading them to establish a new community where they could worship freely.\u00a0 As Americans, we celebrate Thanksgiving every year because of the profound faith in uncommon courage of these English men and women.\u00a0 And it is good for us to read their stories and to hear what they did and to hear how they believed God, because it will inspire us to be courageous as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, in September of 1620, after enduring many delays and difficulties, these Pilgrims finally said their last \u2018Good-byes\u2019 and boarded the Mayflower and set sail for the New World.\u00a0 The food was terrible with brine-soaked beef and pork in salt.\u00a0 The rooms for passengers were crowded and below deck.\u00a0 Conditions were miserable, cramped quarters, seasick people vomiting into pails if they were able to find a pail in time.\u00a0 A foul mixture of odors grew in such an environment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose kind of stories of the deprivation and the difficulties that they went through really helped my kids to be grateful, because all of a sudden as they listened to this story and they listened to these condition it made them realize how much they had and how much they had to be grateful for.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I want to give you three things for why we struggle with gratitude.\u00a0 Why do we as people struggle with having gratitude?\u00a0 I think the first reason is because we have so much.\u00a0 Our prosperity is breeding a nation of ungrateful people.\u00a0 And secondly, I think we are ungrateful, because by nature we are just selfish.\u00a0 We are born that way!\u00a0 By nature we all want what we want when we want it.\u00a0 We want to control our own lives.\u00a0 We believe we are entitled to so much, and when we don\u2019t get what we want we complain about it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy daughter, Ashley, called me last spring, I picked up the phone, and she said, \u201cMom, I have figured out what my problem is.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cOkay?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cIt is Daniel!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI laughed!\u00a0 Daniel was her 14 month old at the time and I said, \u201cOh!\u00a0 Why is Daniel the problem?\u201d\u00a0 And she said, \u201cWell, I think he\u2019s the one that is driving me crazy!\u00a0 And then she began to talk about various things.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI know he has got allergies, and I know he is the last one, so he has to be louder to be heard;\u201d she has five boys, by-the-way.\u00a0 So she said, \u201cI have realized that when he fusses I just pick him up to make him quiet because I can\u2019t stand all the noise.\u00a0 And I need a break.\u00a0 So, rather than training him to wait or to be patient, I just pick him up.\u00a0 I realized that he is running my life and he is my problem.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, the reason Daniel is her problem is because he was born selfish.\u00a0 He wants what he wants, when he wants it.\u00a0 And it is our job, as parents, to train our children to be grateful.\u00a0\u00a0 They are not born naturally grateful.\u00a0 And neither are we!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe third reason I think gratitude is difficult, why it is so hard for us to be grateful as people, is because we are often disappointed in life.\u00a0 Things don\u2019t work out the way we would like for them to.\u00a0 And it makes us sad, makes us disappointed, and it causes us to be ungrateful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis came home to our family in a real dramatic way when our daughter Rebecca, who is my fourth child, had a little girl named Molly.\u00a0 Molly only lived seven days!\u00a0 And in the midst of those seven days of Molly\u2019s life, I realized how important it was to give thanks for everything because God is in control and we are not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was nothing we could do for little Molly!\u00a0 There was nothing the doctors could do for little Molly!\u00a0 And we were left knowing that we had no other choice but to give thanks to God, and to take from His hand, what He had given us, what He had given them and what He had given us as a family.\u00a0 And that is the attitude that the Pilgrims had.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey suffered much, but they knew that God was in control and they took what God gave them with great gratitude.\u00a0 I have to say, that while giving thanks to God in that week of Molly\u2019s life wasn\u2019t really that difficult for me and I can\u2019t explain it except that I had no other choice!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tComplaining would have changed nothing!\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t what my daughter needed, it wasn\u2019t what my son-in-law needed, and there just wasn\u2019t any other choice, but to give thanks to God for what He was doing even though we didn\u2019t understand it and we didn\u2019t like it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think being grateful is hard for us because we are naturally selfish and because we have so much and expect so much, but also because we are often disappointed in life.\u00a0 We don\u2019t like being disappointed.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t fit our plan!\u00a0 It is not what we had in mind.\u00a0 And so, our tendency, our natural inborn tendency, is to complain and to gripe instead of giving thanks.\u00a0 But God calls us to be a grateful people and to take everything from His hand with thanksgiving.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, why is gratitude so important?\u00a0 I have three reasons for this as well.\u00a0 First of all gratitude is important, because ... A) It\u2019s core! Gratitude is a heart that trusts God.\u00a0 It is an expression of faith in Him.\u00a0 There is a verse that I wonder how many of you know, and it goes like this:\u00a0 \u201cDo all things without grumbling or disputing.\u201d\u00a0 How many of you know that verse?\u00a0 Grumbling means murmuring in discontent, it means arguing it means disputing, it means disagreeing with.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, I want to show you what it looks like.\u00a0 We have a wall of children\u2019s photographs in our office, and this photograph is my very favorite; partly, because it looks a lot like my grandson, but partly because it really is an image of what I do so often in my heart toward God.\u00a0 And this is the photograph.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you love it?\u00a0 I just keep looking at this little guy and his little furrowed brow and his squinty eyes and you can just see he just stomping his feet at the same time.\u00a0 But this is a picture of what griping and complaining looks like.\u00a0 How many of you have seen it in your house?\u00a0 More times than you would like?\u00a0 And while we think that this picture is really cute, and this little guy is just adorable in the photograph, it is not so cute when it is your child.\u00a0 It is not so cute when he is doing this to you, is it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt makes me wonder, \u201cWhat must God feel when I do this to Him?\u00a0 When I cross my arms, and I furrow my brow, and I stomp my foot at Him, and say, \u201cThat\u2019s not what I wanted in life, that is not the way I wanted it to be.\u201d\u00a0 Or maybe I don\u2019t do it so physically and dramatically, and maybe in my heart I am just unhappy.\u00a0 I am not grateful!\u00a0\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to do this and stomp your feet.\u00a0 You can be ungrateful in your heart and not express thanksgiving to God.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think God likes it with us any more than we like it with our children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPhilippians 2:4, the verse I just quoted, \u201cDo all things without grumbling or disputing,\u201d is a verse that I make my kids memorize.\u00a0 I thought if I got them to memorize the verse it would cure some of the griping and complaining in their lives.\u00a0 But, it didn\u2019t work!\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t the miracle cure I had hoped for.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI realized that the reason why is because gratitude is a choice! They were choosing to be complaining and griping.\u00a0 They were choosing to be upset about the way things were.\u00a0 Being thankful is a matter of the will.\u00a0 It is a matter of obedience!\u00a0 It is a muscle that needs to be exercised in our hearts.\u00a0 Our hearts choose thankfulness or they choose complaining.\u00a0 So, even though I had my kids memorize the verse, it was still their choice if they were going to complain and gripe, or if they were going to be thankful.\u00a0 And the same is true for us. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, gratitude is so important, because God commands us to be grateful and to express thanksgiving to Him.\u00a0 Ephesians 5:20 says, \u201cAlways giving thanks for all things in the name of Jesus Christ.\u201d\u00a0 It says, \u201cAlways.\u201d\u00a0 Not just when we feel like it, not when it feels good and circumstances are the way I want them to be, but always.\u00a0 Always covers everything!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then it says in that verse, \u201cfor all things.\u201d\u00a0 Not just the good things, not just the pleasant things, but the things we may not like, the thing we don\u2019t understand the things that are difficult, and hard and disappointing.\u00a0 God wants us to give thanks!\u00a0 Why does He want us to give thanks?\u00a0 Because it expresses faith in Him that He knows what He is doing and that He always acts in good toward us.\u00a0 His intentions are always good.\u00a0 They are always kind.\u00a0 They are always loving. So everything He gives us, everything He allows into our lives is because He loves us.\u00a0 He wants us to trust him and say thank you Father for what You are doing and for what You are allowing in my life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then third, God regards complaining as a serious offense.\u00a0 In the book of Numbers, chapters 13 and 14 there is the story of the Israelites and how the Israelites did not believe God, but instead complained against Him.\u00a0 They chose fear instead of faith and they rebelled against Him.\u00a0 As a result, God allowed them to wander in the wilderness for forty years.\u00a0 I wrote about this in my book, too.\u00a0 On a section titled, \u201cThe difference between grumbling and gratitude.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDoes it ever seem surprising to you that God made the Israelites wander in the wilderness for forty years because they grumbled?\u00a0 Anybody think that?\u00a0 That has always puzzled me!\u00a0 Grumbling just seems like such a minor offense compared with murder and some these bad things.\u00a0 Why would God make them wander for forty years for just complaining?\u00a0 I mean really!\u00a0 My kids may have spent 30 minutes in their room for complaining, but forty years?\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 What a severe discipline!\u00a0 Ouch!\u00a0 It seems really harsh to us from our perspective, doesn\u2019t it?\u00a0\u00a0 Clearly God is not pleased with grumbling.\u00a0 It does not make Him happy to hear his children to complain constantly.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing grateful is a choice.\u00a0 It is not a feeling that is dependent on our circumstances, as we clearly see in the Pilgrim\u2019s lives.\u00a0 They believed that God was in control; providence they called it.\u00a0 They responded to the circumstances from a perspective that said God has allowed this for our good.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJohn Piper has said this, \u201cGratitude is past oriented dependence and faith is future oriented dependence.\u00a0 Both forms of dependence are humble, self-forgetting, and God exalting.\u00a0 If we do not believe we are deeply dependent on God, for all that we have or hope to have, then the very spring of gratitude and of faith runs dry.\u00a0 You see they\u2019re connected.\u00a0 If we are not grateful, then we are not expressing faith.\u00a0 They go together!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, gratitude is an expression of faith in God, in who He is and what He is allowing in our lives.\u00a0 Grumbling is evil, because it says my wishes and my desires are more important than God\u2019s wishes and God\u2019s desires.\u00a0 And that is why God punished the people of Israel for forty years.\u00a0 Their intentions were, \u201cI want my way, I want what I want, I don\u2019t want what You (God) want, and He (God) had to make and example of them.\u00a0 It even says in 1 Corinthians that they are an example to us about how God feels about grumbling and complaining.\u00a0 Grumbling is a complete lack of faith in God\u2019s providence and His goodness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well we have been listening today to the first part of a message from Barbara Rainey speaking to a group of moms on the subject of gratitude.\u00a0 It is interesting to me how seriously grumbling is taken in the Bible.\u00a0 We tend to think of it as one of those little sins and we excuse it in our own lives and in the lives of our kids.\u00a0 God doesn\u2019t just turn away from grumbling He addresses it head on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tB<strong>arbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes!\u00a0 And you know, that is one of the things about the story that has always been so stunning to me.\u00a0 That God made the Israelites wander for forty years because they complained.\u00a0 I think about my perspective on grumbling; I may have sent my kids to their room for 30 minutes, but 40 years is a pretty dramatic judgment on something that we take so lightly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The habit of grumbling is an easy one to fall into, again because it is a part of our sin nature.\u00a0 And a hard one to break isn\u2019t it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes!\u00a0 It really is!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0 You know, as Barbara was talking I was thinking, \u201cI wonder what Webster\u2019s Dictionary has to say about grumbling?\u201d\u00a0 So I grabbed it off the shelf here and it says\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGrumble:\u00a0 to mutter in discontent.\u00a0 When we gripe and grumble and complain, what are we ultimately saying?\u00a0 I don\u2019t like my circumstances; I do not like the lot I have been given.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhether we are children or adults I think we have to be called away from grumbling and griping and complaining to the concept of contentment and resting in the fact that there is a God and He is in charge and we are not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can\u2019t always dictate what our circumstances are.\u00a0 We are not in control!\u00a0 And so, we have to learn this lesson of being grateful and being thankful and having gratitude.\u00a0 Bob, I have to tell you, Barbara has been talking about this project of writing seven devotionals for families for ... I don\u2019t know......\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Years! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Maybe a decade!\u00a0 She has been talking about this for a long time!\u00a0 I am really excited about this resource because it is seven different stories around seven issues: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGiving thanks for discomfort - there is a story about that, about fleas.\u00a0 Kids like that one! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinding the good in the bad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing thankful when betrayed.\u00a0 Anybody listening who has been betrayed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBe thankful for handicaps \u2013 limitations\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing thankful for providence\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing thankful for deliverance...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd giving thanks when no rescue happens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow could we thank God when it seems like He hasn\u2019t heard our prayers and didn\u2019t deliver us from that what was causing the discomfort.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 We think that this tool that Barbara has put together, this devotional guide, <em>Growing Together in Gratitude<\/em>, is going to be so helpful for families that we are making it available this month to folks who call or write or request it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll we ask is that you make a donation of any amount that supports <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 So, you can either go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, make a donation of any amount, and just type the word \u201cGRATITUDE\u201d in the key code box on the online donation form and we will send you the devotional.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, we appreciate whatever you can do to help support the ministry financially, but we want you to have this devotional guide, so you make a donation of any amount this month and we will send the guide out to you\u00a0 or call, toll-free, 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 You can make your donation over the phone and just ask for Barbara\u2019s brand new devotional for families called, <em>Growing Together in Gratitude<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0 I think that this is still so new that it\u2019s actually not in stores.\u00a0 You can\u2019t get it anywhere other than <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 So, either go online and make a donation, or call 1-800-FLTODAY and make a donation and just ask for the gratitude book from Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say thanks in advance for your financial support of the ministry.\u00a0 Let me also encourage you if you don\u2019t have Barbara\u2019s Thanksgiving book, <em>Thanksgiving a Time to Remember<\/em> that tells the Thanksgiving story.\u00a0 That is a tremendous resource to have, to read together as a family as you prepare for Thanksgiving or actually on Thanksgiving Day.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is more information of how you can get that book on our web site FamilyLifeToday.com, or again, if you need information, call us at 1-800-FLTODAY and we can make arrangements to have Barbara\u2019s <em>Thanksgiving a Time to Remember<\/em> book sent to you.\u00a0 And of course we can get it there in plenty of time so you can have it this year for Thanksgiving.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow tomorrow, we are going to hear part two of Barbara\u2019s message on gratitude and we are going to talk more about how we can cultivate a heart of gratitude in our children.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I am Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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