{"id":301909,"date":"2009-10-23T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-10-23T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/discipline-from-three-to-five-years\/"},"modified":"2009-10-23T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-10-23T15:00:00","slug":"discipline-from-three-to-five-years","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/discipline-from-three-to-five-years\/","title":{"rendered":"Discipline from Three to Five Years"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Is your kindergartner starting to push back on your correction?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-10-23.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.74M","filesize_raw":"26988871","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2852,2881],"tags":[4759,4994],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3052,3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301909","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-discipline","category-young-children","tag-discipline","tag-first-baby","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301909\/discipline-from-three-to-five-years","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301909\/discipline-from-three-to-five-years","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"HIEaFvAsKH\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/discipline-from-three-to-five-years\/\">Discipline from Three to Five Years<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/discipline-from-three-to-five-years\/embed\/#?secret=HIEaFvAsKH\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Discipline from Three to Five Years&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"HIEaFvAsKH\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Is your kindergartner starting to push back on your correction?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-10-23.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday October 23<sup>rd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 So what do you do as a parent when you\u2019ve caught your child red-handed telling a lie.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about that today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 I\u2019m just tired listening to this week.\u00a0 You know, to re-consider\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Oh, I\u2019m energized!\u00a0 Are you kidding?\u00a0 Parents need every advantage they can possibly get, Bob, to raise a child through the first five years of life.\u00a0 And what we\u2019ve done is, we\u2019ve been life-givers to moms all across the nation. I can hear them cheering.\u00a0 Hear them?\u00a0\u00a0 There it is. They\u2019re cheering even as I speak right now.\u00a0 Because they finally have a plan that they can apply to their children and their home as a husband and a wife, mom and dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, I guess even though I\u2019m kind of worn out by hearing it all week, I can still go home and sleep at night without being interrupted by a toddler or a preschooler.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 It\u2019s done for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 We got together not long ago with a number of young couples and some single parents and spent almost a whole day unpacking the issues that parents face especially around discipline, correction, training, and instruction of toddlers and preschoolers.\u00a0 We brought in cameras so that we could capture the whole thing on video, and so that parents would have a video resource to share with other young couples, with their Sunday school class, their small group, in the whole church setting. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got samples of those videos on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 The series is called, <em>Right from the Start<\/em>, and we\u2019re going to jump right into session number five as we talk about some of the issues facing parents in the area of early childhood discipline.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, you ready for the major leagues?\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about disciplining children when they move from those early stages of \u201cNo Mommy\u201d into the three to five year old, active, deliberate, willful, disobedient kinds of kids that they can be.\u00a0 You got an e-mail recently from a parent who is right in the thick of this. Didn\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 They were listening to the broadcast, a series of broadcasts that we did here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and the mom was evidently doing carpool, and she had a three and a half year-old in the back seat, who wasn\u2019t dropped off anywhere.\u00a0 And so, after two or three days of the carpool, the mom was beginning to take home some of what she was learning about discipline of the children.\u00a0 She said, on day three, or day four, somewhere in there, she heard this little voice from the back seat, and the broadcast was on. \u201cMommy, turn off the music. Mommy, turn off the music.\u201d\u00a0 I have a feeling that there was some pain occurring in this little toddler\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Didn\u2019t want Mom or Dad hearing what you were trying to teach them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Didn\u2019t want them to hear.\u00a0 I think as you implement your plans about discipline, you can expect some push back.\u00a0 You can expect them to try to shame you, make you feel guilty, try to reason with you.\u00a0 Again, it goes all the way back to the boot camp they go to. I don\u2019t know where they get all this stuff, but they will try to find a way out from under it.\u00a0 There\u2019s a couple of Proverbs I want you to write down. Proverbs 29:17 \u201cCorrect your son and he will give you comfort.\u00a0 He will also delight your soul.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s a great principle.\u00a0 You know, we talk about discipline and spanking, and the rigors of being a parent. It is a responsibility, yes it is a stewardship, yes it\u2019s a burden, but it really is a great privilege to shape the direction of a life and watch them emerge into adults.\u00a0 Our children are now between the ages of 23 and 33, and 12 grandchildren, seeing them establish their own families and homes, and now beginning to form their own patterns of discipline.\u00a0 Which by the way, are different than how we raised them, which is another series of broadcasts we need to do some day. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProverbs 29:15 also says, \u201cThe rod and reproof give wisdom.\u201d And the definition of wisdom in the Proverbs is \u201cGodly skill in everyday living.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s taking the raw components of life and ordering them in such a way that they\u2019re skillfully put together to live a productive, fruitful life. Godly skill in everyday living, that\u2019s wisdom.\u00a0 \u201cThe rod and reproof give wisdom.\u00a0 But a child, who gets his own way, brings shame to his mother.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Proverbs talks about things the Lord hates.\u00a0 When you came across this passage, you decided this was going to be a big part of your training of your children, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 You know, Proverbs chapter 6, verses 16-19, says \u201cThere are six things the Lord hates, yes seven that are an abomination to Him.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Now, you may say, \u201cWhat in the world does this have to do with parenting?\u201d\u00a0 Well, for us, it just hit us, that if God went out of his way to make that strong of a statement about seven things, about things he hates, what should we as parents do about those seven things when we see some of them occurring in our children?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we made as many of them as possible applicable to our children as we raise them. And they really became almost like the Ten Commandments of sorts in our family, in terms of raising our children.\u00a0\u00a0 What Barbara and I want to do, is just real quickly go through all seven, and we\u2019re going to focus on a couple of them, because our kids had a propensity, maybe genetically because they\u2019re related to their parents, to give in to certain ones of these.\u00a0 But, we\u2019ll talk about how we did this as we encountered the big leagues of handling a three to five year old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 The first one on the list that says God hates, is \u201chaughty eyes.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s one of those things that became automatic in our family.\u00a0 When our kids gave us that disrespectful look, it deserved a spanking and they got one for that.\u00a0\u00a0 It was automatic. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 It might have come out in sassiness.\u00a0 One of the things that can happen, if you have a child who is an attorney by trade, they argue a lot, in terms of trying to reason their way out of things.\u00a0 And we had one particular child who will remain anonymous for this group, who just knew how to wrap his mother around his little finger.\u00a0 He had her number.\u00a0 He would get her off in an argument, and we often talked about, don\u2019t let your children pull you off into an emotional mud puddle.\u00a0\u00a0 Well, he started doing this at a young age and continued on into adolescence.\u00a0 It was one of his chief ways that he would try to get the upper hand. And I think that\u2019s why God gave children, ideally to two parents.\u00a0 Because it takes another parent to kind of spot what\u2019s taking place, in terms of these haughty eyes and step in and help correct it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 In addition to haughty eyes, the next thing it talks about is a lying tongue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 The second one is a lying tongue.\u00a0 The thing about lies that I discovered with our kids, is that some time in their third year, every one of our children told their first lie.\u00a0 So, if you don\u2019t have a three-year-old yet, you need to be aware, that some time after that child turns three; they will try to tell a lie.\u00a0 The good news is that the young three-year-olds, when they tell their first lie, don\u2019t do a real good job, it\u2019s pretty obvious, and you can usually catch that first one fairly easily, because they\u2019re not sophisticated enough to really be devious.\u00a0\u00a0 So, you catch that first lie. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd our tendency as parents, if we\u2019re not really on guard against that is to say, \u201cWell, isn\u2019t that cute. I can\u2019t believe he did that.\u201d\u00a0 And just kind of blow it off.\u00a0 But, we determined as a couple, that lying was one of the things that we were going to meet hard and fast from the very first offence. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, for the very first time our child told a lie, we sat down with them and explained that they told a lie, it wasn\u2019t the truth.\u00a0 We talked about what a lie is, and what the truth is, and why it was important.\u00a0 That God hated it and we hated it, and that in our family, lying meant that you got a spanking.\u00a0 And because we dealt with it right away, even thought it came up sometimes in later years, when you deal with it right off the bat, it\u2019s much easier to catch it, and they don\u2019t develop that habit of lying about everything.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 This occurred one morning on a Saturday morning. J ust a lot like it normally would in your family.\u00a0 Where, we were sleeping in, enjoying a little later having to get up, and at the doorway appeared our daughter Rebecca.\u00a0\u00a0 She was standing there, I think she had her t-shirt on, it was covered with chocolate.\u00a0 Even to this day, she\u2019s my chocolate buddy.\u00a0 But, she had gotten up, and had gotten in one of the plastic jars of chocolate.\u00a0\u00a0 She had flipped open the little lid and she had turned it up and she had just drunk from it.\u00a0 It was all over her face, she looked like a raccoon, and both Barbara and I laughed. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe go, \u201cOh Rebecca, you\u2019ve been getting in the chocolate haven\u2019t you?\u201d\u00a0 And all of a sudden, this little beaming three-year-old, she was smiling, her smile broke to a frown and she goes, \u201cHuh uh.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, Barbara and I looked at each other, and it\u2019s like, \u201cOh my goodness.\u201d\u00a0 We have just taken a delightful moment, and it\u2019s now turning into an issue of the will.\u00a0\u00a0 So, she came over to the bed. She was in bed, we said, \u201cRebecca, you\u2019ve been in the chocolate.\u201d\u00a0 She had a sticker that said, \u201cShake well\u201d on her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \"Rebecca, you know what do in our family for lying. We spank!\"\u00a0 This is going to sound a bit out of the ordinary, and you need to know, this only happened two or three times in our family, where a child received more than one spanking at a time.\u00a0 We spanked her for the lie, put her back up on our lap and said, \"Now, Rebecca, tell the truth.\u00a0 You got in the chocolate. Rebecca, we spank for lying.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\"I didn't get in the chocolate.\" She's still kind of whimpering. We said, we spank.\u00a0 So, three more.\u00a0 Set her back up on our lap, \"Rebecca, you tell the truth, you drank the chocolate.\"\u00a0 I think this is right, I think the third time she said, \"I didn't get into the chocolate.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Now, were you thinking at this time, maybe she didn't somehow get in the chocolate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 You know, seriously Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 I would have if it hadn't been all over the front of her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 I mean, seriously...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 You really do think, Oh my gosh, this can't be right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 I'm ruining this child, I'm damaging her, this is going to be terrible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 Oh yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 But it was all over her.\u00a0 So, we spanked her a third time, and set her back.\u00a0 Both Barbara and I are looking at each other and going, \"How long will this go?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 How long is it going to last? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 \"Rebecca, tell the truth, pretty please?\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 \u201cPlease tell the truth.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 \u201cWill you tell the truth that you took the chocolate and you drank it?\u201d\u00a0 And she went, \"I drank the chocolate.\" So she admitted it. And at that point we hugged her a bunch, because we weren't going to spank her for drinking the chocolate.\u00a0 But, you know, the point was, the deceit.\u00a0 The lie.\u00a0 God is a god of truth.\u00a0 And there's a reason why He hates lies.\u00a0 He's not one who likes to put up with a lie.\u00a0 I think our children need to learn, that the truth has value and that, if they lie, there's consequences that will occur. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Okay, so we've talked about haughty eyes, and a lying tongue.\u00a0 What else does Proverbs talk about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, the third one is, \"Hands that shed innocent blood.\"\u00a0\u00a0 When a child harms another child, whether it's a sibling or a friend, he's destroying that relationship.\u00a0 He's damaging that relationship.\u00a0 He's damaging the trust that those two little people have amongst themselves. He needs to be instructed that that's not a good thing.\u00a0\u00a0 So, in our family when one of our children intentionally harm another child, that was grounds for discipline. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a friend who sent me an e-mail about a friend of hers who had a daughter who was really bad at biting and the mother tried spanking, and that didn't seem to work so she decided to try another tactic, and what she did was she gave this little girl Tobasco sauce.\u00a0 She kept it in her purse, and she said, whenever they would come to visit and play and if the little girl bit the child that she was playing with, the mother pulled out the Tobasco sauce and gave her a spoonful and she said, within a couple of times it disappeared.\u00a0 So it may be that spanking doesn't always communicate with your child.\u00a0 That another kind of pain might. And for this mom Tobasco sauce gave that little girl the kind of pain that she needed for her to choose self-control and not bite other children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Okay some listener just went ballistic.\u00a0 You know that don't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 About Tabasco sauce?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes!\u00a0 Gave her a spoonful of Tabasco sauce?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 Well, I don't know how big the spoon was, it could have been a little tiny spoon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 A drop.\u00a0 It doesn't matter.\u00a0 I mean when I was growing up, it was... we didn't have liquid soap, they actually pulled your tongue out and used.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Bar soap.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 Bar soap.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Bar soap to, you know.\u00a0 And that's not food.\u00a0 So, you know the point is...\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 At least Tabasco is a food product.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 It's a food product, so... biodegradable.\u00a0 Right there on the spot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Ok, haughty eyes, lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, what's the next one?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 The fourth one is a heart that devises wicked plans.\u00a0 The idea behind that is that a child who does something that's premeditated.\u00a0 This usually doesn't happen with a three year old. This is more four or five years old.\u00a0 That they're capable of doing this.\u00a0 But they pull back and they think up something really mean to do.\u00a0 Sometimes, it's they say something really mean, sometimes they do something that's really mean, but it's that ability that they have as they get older to premeditate some kind of hurtful action on another child or another person. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAn interesting situation we had with one of ours is this sibling, this child knew that if she hit or did something physical to hurt one of her siblings, that she was going to get in trouble.\u00a0 And so she thought of a really creative-- and I couldn't believe this. I've never seen this before.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 But you watched this actually happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 But I actually saw it happen or I probably wouldn't have believed it.\u00a0 But they were playing a game in the living room, three of our girls were.\u00a0 They got to arguing about whose turn it was, or I can't remember.\u00a0 But there was some kind of disagreement in this little game they were playing.\u00a0 This daughter really made her angry, and so instead of kicking or hitting or shoving, she got up in their faces, and coughed on them, because she had a cold.\u00a0 I watched her do that and I thought, \"Oh, my gosh!\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt just seemed so evil, that she wanted to damage them in that way, and I gave her a spanking for it, because she obviously thought it through. T hat was not an accidental action on her part, because she moved into their face, and coughed deliberately, to spread germs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 This fifth one is feet that run rapidly to evil. This has to do with a child that likes to create chaos.\u00a0 Just creates a mess for mom and this takes a little discernment.\u00a0 It may take the father stepping in and being able to discern this.\u00a0 But it has to do closely with the wicked plans. But it's the idea of creating evil, or chaos especially so that it disrupts the family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 Or, it's a case of a child wanting to manipulate the parents, and just always trying to be in control in one way or the other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 The sixth one, is \"A false witness who utters lies.\"\u00a0 It's interesting in this list that lies are mentioned twice.\u00a0 Directly against the ninth commandment of the Ten Commandments.\u00a0 I'm not sure why it was, but it seemed that our children, as Barbara said, as they moved through their fourth and fifth year, would not only demonstrate a lie, but they'd also--you'd also see them begin to devise these plans, these schemes that they came up with, and sometimes they involved their siblings.\u00a0 It would involve tattling, and saying wrong things about their siblings. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSibling rivalry was one of the biggest challenges we faced as a couple in terms of raising our children.\u00a0 Obviously we had six of them.\u00a0 We found ways to punish both kids at the same time, give them both a chore.\u00a0 At points, we really wondered if we were going to be raising kids who hated each other when they grew up, because there seemed to be a lot of competition taking place in our family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 And how are they getting along today?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 Our children have good relationships with each other.\u00a0 They have normal disagreements around their values, and how they're living their lives, but they're fine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 They like each other.\u00a0 That's what I wanted.\u00a0 I just wanted them to like each other. They don't have to be best friends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 They look out for each other.\u00a0 So, I think that's a real measure of whether they care for each other. But the sibling rivalry really exhausted us.\u00a0 And while I'm talking about that, I'd add this. I think one of the reasons why you will experience sibling rivalry in your families, is I think God wants you to train your children to know how to resolve conflict.\u00a0 You'll see it over and over and over again. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I think, after you've been through this a few hundred times, you're going to realize, you're training your son or daughter to know how to be married someday.\u00a0 Because how many of you have experienced conflict in your marriage?\u00a0 All of us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 We need training in how to do that, and the home is the best place for that to occur. What's the last one sweetheart?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara<\/strong>:\u00a0 The last one is \"One who spreads strife among brothers.\"\u00a0 And that's really more of a summary statement of the previous six because if you have a child who's not been curbed in his haughty spirit or his lying tongue, or in being premeditated in doing evil things, then that child is going to be the one who spreads strife among brothers and in the family.\u00a0 So, that's really more of a summary statement.\u00a0 But it's a picture of what happens if we don't discipline and train our children.\u00a0 Then, that child is going to grow up to be one who does destroy families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis<\/strong>:\u00a0 You know, after hearing this many principles and stories and all that, it's easy to get something like parenting down to a formula, or an \"A + B =C\" type of approach.\u00a0 I just want to encourage you that, don't remove God from the equation.\u00a0 Because he has all kinds of surprises that you're going to discover as you raise your family.\u00a0 Some of what's going to happen with your children is going to help you grow up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe mistakenly thought God gave us six to raise them; He gave us six to finish the process of growing us up.\u00a0 It's interesting how many times you can observe behavior in your children, that's a real reflection back of your own devious heart.\u00a0 What I'd just encourage you to do is keep following Christ, and don't lose your first love for him in growing as a follower of Christ. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause, it's your relationship with Him, that's going to enable you to stay ahead of your kids. Because he knows where they're headed; he knows what they're dealing with.\u00a0 He does feel sorry for us at times, as we raise our family.\u00a0 He will help you catch them, when they're doing something wrong and when they're doing something right.\u00a0 You need to celebrate the positive, and we've talked about what you do with the negative, but in all of those things, have courage that you can do the right thing and finish the course, and raise the next generation who are going to take our places.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 You've actually been listening to an excerpt of the fifth session from a DVD series called <em>Right From the Start<\/em>, dealing with the issue of early childhood discipline and that DVD series, which is available for small groups to use, for churches, for individuals moms and dads to sit down and watch together. You can find out more about it on our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust go to FamilyLifeToday.com, in fact there are some clips up from the DVD series so you can see what it looks like, and have a chance to see how some of the interaction took place, as we produced this series. Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com. If it's easier for you to order by phone, call 800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 1-800 F as in \u201cfamily\u201d L as in \u201clife\u201d and then the word TODAY, and someone can answer any questions you might have about the DVD series, or can make arrangements to have it sent to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I've got a question for you, do you know who the sponsors are for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>? If you're a regular <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listener, you undoubtedly know that our sponsors, are those of you who listen to FamilyLife Today. We're listener sponsored, listener supported. We're non-profit organization, and so we don't have any corporate underwriting, or national sponsors who pay the bills, the costs associated with producing and syndicating this program are costs that are borne by folks like you who listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you donate on a monthly basis as legacy partners, others of you just make a donation from time to time as you're able, and in either case, we are grateful for your support of this ministry, and in fact this month if you're able to make a donation of any amount, we have a thank you gift we'd like to send you. It's the audio of <em>Thanksgiving a Time to Remember, <\/em>by Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 We've had this book read by a dramatic actor; we've added some sound effects, and some music, so that the story really does come alive as you listen. You're hearing the story of the pilgrims, and that first Thanksgiving. And, it's wonderful for the whole family to be able to listen to this. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain the audio book is our thank you gift this month, when you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation of any amount and you can do that online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or by phone. If you do go online at FamilyLifeToday.com be sure to write the word \"Thanksgiving\" into the key code box on the online donation form. If you call 1-800-FLTODAY to make your donation.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800 F as in \u201cfamily\u201d, L as in \u201clife\u201d, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 Just ask us for the Thanksgiving audio book after you make your donation over the phone, and again we want to say thanks for your support of this ministry, we appreciate hearing from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back again on Monday.\u00a0 We're going to continue to talk about the preschool years as Brenda Nixon is going to join us.\u00a0 We're going to talk about some of the key elements. Not so much of discipline at this point, but just issues facing parents in the years when our children are zero to age five. So I hope you can tune in for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire production team. On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. Help for today. Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301909","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301909"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301909"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301909"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301909"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}