{"id":301893,"date":"2009-09-17T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-09-17T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/avoiding-the-financial-pitfalls\/"},"modified":"2009-09-17T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-09-17T15:00:00","slug":"avoiding-the-financial-pitfalls","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/avoiding-the-financial-pitfalls\/","title":{"rendered":"Avoiding the Financial Pitfalls"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How do you avoid the traps that sink you financially?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-09-17.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11.11M","filesize_raw":"11654595","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2851],"tags":[4925,4525,4853],"podcast_series":[7674],"cwp_profile":[3128],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301893","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-finances","tag-budgets","tag-finances","tag-money","podcast_series-money-and-marriage-gods-way","cwp_profile-howard-dayton","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301893\/avoiding-the-financial-pitfalls","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301893\/avoiding-the-financial-pitfalls","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"SbMQcsiaZP\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/avoiding-the-financial-pitfalls\/\">Avoiding the Financial Pitfalls<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/avoiding-the-financial-pitfalls\/embed\/#?secret=SbMQcsiaZP\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Avoiding the Financial Pitfalls&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"SbMQcsiaZP\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-09-17.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-09-17.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0We didn\u2019t really sit down.\u00a0 I did the quick math in my head and said okay what kind of house payment do we have at that point we both had older cars and we didn\u2019t have payments on them so we were in good shape there.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t have any credit card debt or college loans or anything so we really had a pretty basic little nut we had to cover.\u00a0 But I also knew that the way we had been living as DINKS (dual income no kids)\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026was about to change.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It had been pretty impulsive when there was something we wanted to do\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026you did it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We did it.\u00a0 We said one time we ought to go to Cancun and so we did.\u00a0 Or we thought it would be cool to have a deck on the back of the house so we built a deck on the back of the house.\u00a0 We could do that as DINKS and I remember thinking when we have the baby we\u2019re not going to be able to make those impulsive decisions but here what was amazing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen Mary Ann came home and we didn\u2019t have her income any more God provided for our needs through my income and all of a sudden our priorities got adjusted.\u00a0 We weren\u2019t all that interested in running off the Cancun or having the deck.\u00a0 We had a baby and life was now taking on a little more sober, more realistic, more purposeful kind of thing.\u00a0 We got by just fine.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019ve always looked back and said we are so glad we made that decision.\u00a0 It set a foundation for the rest of our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 This is what I encourage couples to do who feel that they may if they have children want mom to stay home.\u00a0 Again, just as a framework for them to think through but if they can get to the point where they can live on his income and just use her income for three things:\u00a0 To give to the Lord, to save and to pay down debt.\u00a0 It positions them and they will be more and more able to make that transition if that is what God calls them to do if He provides the child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A couple that might not be in the situation that we were in let\u2019s say instead of our situation they have a house payment plus two car payments and they are upside down in both of those car payments.\u00a0 They also have consumer debt and some college debt.\u00a0 They look at the situation and say there is no way we can get from here to there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, you can sit down and map out a plan if that is a priority for you.\u00a0 You can start spending to make that happen.\u00a0 When I say spending to make it happen I mean paying off the debt and doing exactly what you are talking about.\u00a0 Let\u2019s take this income and apply it in this direction.\u00a0 It may take three years but three years from today we can celebrate what we are able to buy which is mom coming home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about another pitfall that is true in the difficult economic times we faced recently where someone loses a job.\u00a0 When that happens that couple is not making a decision in lieu of raising their child.\u00a0 One person loses their job and their ability to make money.\u00a0 Now at this point we know that about 80 percent of those are men not the women.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What\u2019s your advice in that situation?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 First, if they have been having their weekly money date what we\u2019ve discovered is that it is a lot easier for a family to make the transition to a crisis mode.\u00a0 Because they have already been talking about money they both have a really good idea of where they are financially.\u00a0 So what I recommend is number one meet daily every single day.\u00a0 Pray together and invite the Lord into the situation.\u00a0 Share your emotions and what you are thinking and what you are feeling.\u00a0 It\u2019s not just the bread winner who has lost the job who really has to deal with this.\u00a0 It\u2019s the spouse as well.\u00a0 Is there going to be enough money?\u00a0 The fear factor is an issue.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen number two don\u2019t go it alone.\u00a0 Don\u2019t go through a crisis alone.\u00a0 Find someone from your church or a close friend who can be praying for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Don\u2019t be ashamed to admit you need that prayer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 Go to your church leadership and explain the situation if you are in a place where you just don\u2019t have the money make the house payment or feed the family because that is what the local church should be all about helping those in need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe last is you are number one and full time job if you have lost a job is to find a job.\u00a0 Make that a priority and treat it just as if you were going to work each and every day.\u00a0\u00a0 Get a resume and meet people.\u00a0 Network and do whatever you can do to find a new job.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of our listeners, Howard, saw the movie <em>Fireproof<\/em> came out a while back and in that movie there were money issues that came up.\u00a0 In fact I remember that Caleb was saving up his money and this was one of their issues.\u00a0 They had his money and her money.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, right. Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And he was saving his money because he wanted to buy a boat and she was trying to figure out a way to save some money because she wanted to buy medical equipment for her parents.\u00a0 What about the two pitfalls that are represented there?\u00a0 The his and her money pitfall and the second thing which was the clash of priorities where he is saying this is something really important to me and she saying this is something important to me.\u00a0 How do we get on the same page with that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can totally relate to that particularly as a newly married husband.\u00a0 I wanted to spend money the way I wanted to spend it on things that would benefit me.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t really have down the Philippians 2 passage of considering one another as more important than ourselves.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t consider Bev more important than me.\u00a0 Really this has been a transition.\u00a0 It\u2019s taken years for me to get there but I get a much bigger kick out of spending money on something that Bev wants and that is a blessing to her rather than me. Fortunately she feels the same way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen that dynamic becomes a reality in your marriage it changes everything.\u00a0 It\u2019s no longer her versus him but rather it\u2019s together.\u00a0 That\u2019s really the goal.\u00a0 You have to remember God\u2019s big picture on what He wants us to do with money is use it even challenges with it or crises with it is for the two to become one closer together rather than seeing money as a wedge to drive the two of you apart.\u00a0 Now when it comes to her money and his money the key is that it be our money.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t mean that you keep everything in one checking account.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh really, so you might recommend two different checking accounts?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, for several reasons.\u00a0 First, it gives the husband and the wife the opportunity to develop a credit score and that is key.\u00a0 Long term if the husband should predecease the wife often if everything has been in his name, the credit cards and checking account then she doesn\u2019t have the basis for the credit score which can have a significant impact on everything from her ability to get a job to her having a reasonable amount of insurance premium.\u00a0 It impacts so many things today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what Bev and I have done.\u00a0 We have one card in her name and one in my name.\u00a0 We meet together regularly and go over that during our weekly money date where you know exactly what is going on in the family.\u00a0 She has a checking account and she takes care of all the household expenses.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reason we did that was that if I should predecease her we didn\u2019t want her to be in a place where she didn\u2019t have any idea what was going on in the finances.\u00a0 The number one thing I\u2019ve observed in talking to widows is they are afraid and they are afraid because they don\u2019t understand what is happening financially in their household.\u00a0 So, I wanted to give Bev the opportunity to experience writing the checks and that sort of thing so she had a handle on it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re touching on another pitfall and that is where the wife doesn\u2019t know what is going on financially in the marriage.\u00a0 She doesn\u2019t know what the condition the balance sheet is in, the income and expenses, the debt, and all that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember some time back, Bob, I took a stand on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and I said my New Year\u2019s resolution for this year is to create a packet that is called <em>If I Should Die<\/em>.\u00a0 It contains all the accounts and information about the will and has a copy of the will in it.\u00a0 I completed that.\u00a0 I have to say in preparation for this broadcast as I thought about the pitfall I thought that really feels good as a man to have gone out ahead all the way to the end.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I was killed in a car wreck or plane crash or died suddenly Barbara and the advisors that I\u2019ve recommended in that kit.\u00a0 I\u2019ve put that together for her so that she\u2019s not going to be flying blind.\u00a0 She\u2019s going to have plenty of adjustments because she is going to have to do stuff that she is used to doing.\u00a0\u00a0 If it is all together there and she can see what is going on that makes it a lot easier.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does.\u00a0 I think it is one of the best ways we can express our love for our wife.\u00a0 I really do.\u00a0 I applaud you for doing that.\u00a0 What Bev and I do several times a year we go through it together.\u00a0 Our little packet of goodies for her should I predecease her and I make sure she knows all of the counselors and advisors and that sort of thing to make it as easy as possible during that very emotional time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 To make people feel better especially for some guys who are feeling under the pile right now.\u00a0 It took me 35 years into our marriage before I did it.\u00a0 The point is get your plan and know how you are going to handle this and one of the ways I\u2019d recommend you do that is to get a copy of Howard\u2019s book, <em>Money and Marriage God\u2019s Way<\/em> because there are a number of projects in here that will force healthy discussion for you as a husband and a wife together.\u00a0 Ultimately you will grapple with your differences and come out at the other end a lot better off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In addition to Howard\u2019s book we have the resource that you use the <em>If Something Happens to Me<\/em> workbook.\u00a0 It includes an organizer and a CD that comes with it if folks want to do their forms electronically.\u00a0 All of the information about that can be found at our web site FamilyLife Today.com.\u00a0 There is also information about Howard\u2019s book <em>Money and Marriage God\u2019s Way.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr just call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-F as in \u201cfamily\u201d L as in \u201clife\u201d and then the word TODAY and we\u2019ll make arrangements with you to have the resources you need send out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we\u2019ve discussed this subject one of the issues couples have to wrestle with when it comes to money is the whole issue of giving.\u00a0 We want to say thanks to those of you who have wrestled with that issue and have made a decision as a couple to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 We are listener supported which means your funds help cover the syndication and production costs for this program.\u00a0\u00a0 You make it possible for us to be on this station and on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 You make possible our web site FamilyLife Today.com and we appreciate your partnership with us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact this month we\u2019d like to say thank you if you are able to make a donation of any amount by sending you a copy of one of the messages from the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference.\u00a0 One of the things that we talk about at the conference is God\u2019s Plan for marriage and what it means to leave, cleave and become one flesh and what it means to embrace your spouse as God\u2019s gift made especially for you.\u00a0 We have a copy of this message presented by \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDr. Crawford Loritts who is the pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Roswell, Georgia.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you make a donation of any amount to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this month you can request a copy of this CD.\u00a0 If you donate online at FamilyLife Today.com type the word \u201cgift\u201d in the key code box that you find on the donation form that way we\u2019ll know to send the CD out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0\u00a0 You can make your donation over the phone.\u00a0 When you call mention that you\u2019d like the CD that we talked about on the radio and we\u2019ll make arrangement to have a copy of it sent to you.\u00a0 We do appreciate your financial support of this ministry and your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, Howard Dayton is going to be back with us.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk more about your marriage and about your money and how you make sure all that is working together.\u00a0 I hope you can be back for that conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["11.11M"],"filesize_raw":["11654595"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-301893.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-301893.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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do you avoid the traps that sink you financially?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-09-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0We didn\u2019t really sit down.\u00a0 I did the quick math in my head and said okay what kind of house payment do we have at that point we both had older cars and we didn\u2019t have payments on them so we were in good shape there.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t have any credit card debt or college loans or anything so we really had a pretty basic little nut we had to cover.\u00a0 But I also knew that the way we had been living as DINKS (dual income no kids)\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026was about to change.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It had been pretty impulsive when there was something we wanted to do\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026you did it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We did it.\u00a0 We said one time we ought to go to Cancun and so we did.\u00a0 Or we thought it would be cool to have a deck on the back of the house so we built a deck on the back of the house.\u00a0 We could do that as DINKS and I remember thinking when we have the baby we\u2019re not going to be able to make those impulsive decisions but here what was amazing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen Mary Ann came home and we didn\u2019t have her income any more God provided for our needs through my income and all of a sudden our priorities got adjusted.\u00a0 We weren\u2019t all that interested in running off the Cancun or having the deck.\u00a0 We had a baby and life was now taking on a little more sober, more realistic, more purposeful kind of thing.\u00a0 We got by just fine.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019ve always looked back and said we are so glad we made that decision.\u00a0 It set a foundation for the rest of our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 This is what I encourage couples to do who feel that they may if they have children want mom to stay home.\u00a0 Again, just as a framework for them to think through but if they can get to the point where they can live on his income and just use her income for three things:\u00a0 To give to the Lord, to save and to pay down debt.\u00a0 It positions them and they will be more and more able to make that transition if that is what God calls them to do if He provides the child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A couple that might not be in the situation that we were in let\u2019s say instead of our situation they have a house payment plus two car payments and they are upside down in both of those car payments.\u00a0 They also have consumer debt and some college debt.\u00a0 They look at the situation and say there is no way we can get from here to there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, you can sit down and map out a plan if that is a priority for you.\u00a0 You can start spending to make that happen.\u00a0 When I say spending to make it happen I mean paying off the debt and doing exactly what you are talking about.\u00a0 Let\u2019s take this income and apply it in this direction.\u00a0 It may take three years but three years from today we can celebrate what we are able to buy which is mom coming home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about another pitfall that is true in the difficult economic times we faced recently where someone loses a job.\u00a0 When that happens that couple is not making a decision in lieu of raising their child.\u00a0 One person loses their job and their ability to make money.\u00a0 Now at this point we know that about 80 percent of those are men not the women.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What\u2019s your advice in that situation?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 First, if they have been having their weekly money date what we\u2019ve discovered is that it is a lot easier for a family to make the transition to a crisis mode.\u00a0 Because they have already been talking about money they both have a really good idea of where they are financially.\u00a0 So what I recommend is number one meet daily every single day.\u00a0 Pray together and invite the Lord into the situation.\u00a0 Share your emotions and what you are thinking and what you are feeling.\u00a0 It\u2019s not just the bread winner who has lost the job who really has to deal with this.\u00a0 It\u2019s the spouse as well.\u00a0 Is there going to be enough money?\u00a0 The fear factor is an issue.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen number two don\u2019t go it alone.\u00a0 Don\u2019t go through a crisis alone.\u00a0 Find someone from your church or a close friend who can be praying for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Don\u2019t be ashamed to admit you need that prayer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 Go to your church leadership and explain the situation if you are in a place where you just don\u2019t have the money make the house payment or feed the family because that is what the local church should be all about helping those in need.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe last is you are number one and full time job if you have lost a job is to find a job.\u00a0 Make that a priority and treat it just as if you were going to work each and every day.\u00a0\u00a0 Get a resume and meet people.\u00a0 Network and do whatever you can do to find a new job.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of our listeners, Howard, saw the movie <em>Fireproof<\/em> came out a while back and in that movie there were money issues that came up.\u00a0 In fact I remember that Caleb was saving up his money and this was one of their issues.\u00a0 They had his money and her money.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, right. Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And he was saving his money because he wanted to buy a boat and she was trying to figure out a way to save some money because she wanted to buy medical equipment for her parents.\u00a0 What about the two pitfalls that are represented there?\u00a0 The his and her money pitfall and the second thing which was the clash of priorities where he is saying this is something really important to me and she saying this is something important to me.\u00a0 How do we get on the same page with that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can totally relate to that particularly as a newly married husband.\u00a0 I wanted to spend money the way I wanted to spend it on things that would benefit me.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t really have down the Philippians 2 passage of considering one another as more important than ourselves.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t consider Bev more important than me.\u00a0 Really this has been a transition.\u00a0 It\u2019s taken years for me to get there but I get a much bigger kick out of spending money on something that Bev wants and that is a blessing to her rather than me. Fortunately she feels the same way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen that dynamic becomes a reality in your marriage it changes everything.\u00a0 It\u2019s no longer her versus him but rather it\u2019s together.\u00a0 That\u2019s really the goal.\u00a0 You have to remember God\u2019s big picture on what He wants us to do with money is use it even challenges with it or crises with it is for the two to become one closer together rather than seeing money as a wedge to drive the two of you apart.\u00a0 Now when it comes to her money and his money the key is that it be our money.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t mean that you keep everything in one checking account.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh really, so you might recommend two different checking accounts?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, for several reasons.\u00a0 First, it gives the husband and the wife the opportunity to develop a credit score and that is key.\u00a0 Long term if the husband should predecease the wife often if everything has been in his name, the credit cards and checking account then she doesn\u2019t have the basis for the credit score which can have a significant impact on everything from her ability to get a job to her having a reasonable amount of insurance premium.\u00a0 It impacts so many things today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what Bev and I have done.\u00a0 We have one card in her name and one in my name.\u00a0 We meet together regularly and go over that during our weekly money date where you know exactly what is going on in the family.\u00a0 She has a checking account and she takes care of all the household expenses.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reason we did that was that if I should predecease her we didn\u2019t want her to be in a place where she didn\u2019t have any idea what was going on in the finances.\u00a0 The number one thing I\u2019ve observed in talking to widows is they are afraid and they are afraid because they don\u2019t understand what is happening financially in their household.\u00a0 So, I wanted to give Bev the opportunity to experience writing the checks and that sort of thing so she had a handle on it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re touching on another pitfall and that is where the wife doesn\u2019t know what is going on financially in the marriage.\u00a0 She doesn\u2019t know what the condition the balance sheet is in, the income and expenses, the debt, and all that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember some time back, Bob, I took a stand on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and I said my New Year\u2019s resolution for this year is to create a packet that is called <em>If I Should Die<\/em>.\u00a0 It contains all the accounts and information about the will and has a copy of the will in it.\u00a0 I completed that.\u00a0 I have to say in preparation for this broadcast as I thought about the pitfall I thought that really feels good as a man to have gone out ahead all the way to the end.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I was killed in a car wreck or plane crash or died suddenly Barbara and the advisors that I\u2019ve recommended in that kit.\u00a0 I\u2019ve put that together for her so that she\u2019s not going to be flying blind.\u00a0 She\u2019s going to have plenty of adjustments because she is going to have to do stuff that she is used to doing.\u00a0\u00a0 If it is all together there and she can see what is going on that makes it a lot easier.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Howard:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does.\u00a0 I think it is one of the best ways we can express our love for our wife.\u00a0 I really do.\u00a0 I applaud you for doing that.\u00a0 What Bev and I do several times a year we go through it together.\u00a0 Our little packet of goodies for her should I predecease her and I make sure she knows all of the counselors and advisors and that sort of thing to make it as easy as possible during that very emotional time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 To make people feel better especially for some guys who are feeling under the pile right now.\u00a0 It took me 35 years into our marriage before I did it.\u00a0 The point is get your plan and know how you are going to handle this and one of the ways I\u2019d recommend you do that is to get a copy of Howard\u2019s book, <em>Money and Marriage God\u2019s Way<\/em> because there are a number of projects in here that will force healthy discussion for you as a husband and a wife together.\u00a0 Ultimately you will grapple with your differences and come out at the other end a lot better off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In addition to Howard\u2019s book we have the resource that you use the <em>If Something Happens to Me<\/em> workbook.\u00a0 It includes an organizer and a CD that comes with it if folks want to do their forms electronically.\u00a0 All of the information about that can be found at our web site FamilyLife Today.com.\u00a0 There is also information about Howard\u2019s book <em>Money and Marriage God\u2019s Way.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr just call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-F as in \u201cfamily\u201d L as in \u201clife\u201d and then the word TODAY and we\u2019ll make arrangements with you to have the resources you need send out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we\u2019ve discussed this subject one of the issues couples have to wrestle with when it comes to money is the whole issue of giving.\u00a0 We want to say thanks to those of you who have wrestled with that issue and have made a decision as a couple to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 We are listener supported which means your funds help cover the syndication and production costs for this program.\u00a0\u00a0 You make it possible for us to be on this station and on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 You make possible our web site FamilyLife Today.com and we appreciate your partnership with us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact this month we\u2019d like to say thank you if you are able to make a donation of any amount by sending you a copy of one of the messages from the FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference.\u00a0 One of the things that we talk about at the conference is God\u2019s Plan for marriage and what it means to leave, cleave and become one flesh and what it means to embrace your spouse as God\u2019s gift made especially for you.\u00a0 We have a copy of this message presented by \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDr. Crawford Loritts who is the pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in Roswell, Georgia.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you make a donation of any amount to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this month you can request a copy of this CD.\u00a0 If you donate online at FamilyLife Today.com type the word \u201cgift\u201d in the key code box that you find on the donation form that way we\u2019ll know to send the CD out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0\u00a0 You can make your donation over the phone.\u00a0 When you call mention that you\u2019d like the CD that we talked about on the radio and we\u2019ll make arrangement to have a copy of it sent to you.\u00a0 We do appreciate your financial support of this ministry and your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, Howard Dayton is going to be back with us.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk more about your marriage and about your money and how you make sure all that is working together.\u00a0 I hope you can be back for that conversation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301893","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301893"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301893"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301893"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301893"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301893"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301893"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301893"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}