{"id":301889,"date":"2009-09-09T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-09-09T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/feminine-for-a-purpose\/"},"modified":"2009-09-09T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-09-09T15:00:00","slug":"feminine-for-a-purpose","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/feminine-for-a-purpose\/","title":{"rendered":"Feminine for a Purpose"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When Leslie Ludy was 14 she was eager to have the young men drool over her.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-09-09.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"13.37M","filesize_raw":"14020003","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2093],"tags":[4922,4921,4923,4920],"podcast_series":[7672],"cwp_profile":[3369],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301889","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-women","tag-mom","tag-mother","tag-wife","tag-womanhood","podcast_series-set-apart-femininity","cwp_profile-leslie-ludy","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301889\/feminine-for-a-purpose","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301889\/feminine-for-a-purpose","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"TnEyF8QGL7\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/feminine-for-a-purpose\/\">Feminine for a Purpose<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/feminine-for-a-purpose\/embed\/#?secret=TnEyF8QGL7\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Feminine for a Purpose&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"TnEyF8QGL7\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-09-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-09-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I was always asking the question how far is too far?\u00a0 How close can I go?\u00a0 As opposed to the question we should be asking:\u00a0 How far can I go to honor God; to please God; to love my future spouse; to respect that person?\u00a0 If he could see what I was giving to these guys would he be honored?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI made a decision, and I said to God, \u201cOkay I\u2019m not going to give my body, my heart, my mind to another guy until it\u2019s the one that I\u2019m going to marry.\u201d\u00a0 That was a very tough decision because to walk away from all those shallow relationships, and the dating scene, and just wait for God to do something, and serve my life, and live a set apart life for my future husband; it seemed like relational suicide!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, September 9.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Straight talk for parents today from Leslie Ludy on how we can raise daughters to embrace biblical womanhood.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> thanks for joining us.\u00a0 If you had to identify what has been the dominant influence in your life on the subject of understanding your own masculinity what\u2019s been primary do you think?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s a great question!\u00a0 I think it would be a combination of reading the Bible and what the Bible calls men to do.\u00a0 I think secondly seeing the Bible lived out in other men who have been very influential in my life, and I think also my father who really did have the primary influence and it really set me in the right direction.\u00a0 I think for a lot of young people today both male and female:\u00a0 The models that they need at home may not be as strong as what they really need!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, our understanding of what it means for us to be men and women:\u00a0 We live in an era of cultural confusion on that, and it\u2019s hard for a lot of people to know where do I get the right picture?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right, and our guest on today\u2019s program Leslie Ludy actually had an experience when she was a young lady that marked her life in terms of her own femininity, and in terms of who she wanted to be.\u00a0 Leslie, I want you to know I really enjoyed your book <em>Set Apart Femininity.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh thank you!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You\u2019ve written other best selling books, you\u2019re a speaker, a musician, a wife, a Mom:\u00a0 is there anything you don\u2019t do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, I probably don\u2019t do them all very well, but I do dabble in a lot of things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You have four children under the age of what now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Four:\u00a0 Well, I\u2019m pregnant with number four. So, right now we have three \u2013 four and under.\u00a0 It\u2019s very wild at our house most days.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She and her husband, Eric, live in Colorado.\u00a0 I want to go back to the beginning of the book.\u00a0 You talk about as a 14-year-old young lady, one of the things you wanted to have the guys do was drool over you! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Now, where did you pick up that message as a 14 year old? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think it actually started quite a few years before I was 14.\u00a0 I remember being about 10, and being in my 5<sup>th<\/sup> grade elementary school standing by the water fountain; being with a bunch of my girlfriends, and having a bunch of boys surround us by the water fountain.\u00a0 They started just making jokes about which ones of us were sexually attractive, and which ones were developed, and which weren\u2019t.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was one that was labeled undesirable at the age of 10.\u00a0 I was surrounded by a culture that was constantly pushing this agenda \u2013 that you need to have a sexual attitude as a young woman.\u00a0 You need to flaunt your figure and be flirtatious and be seductive and be sensual.\u00a0 By the time I was probably 12, in middle school I just played right into it.\u00a0 I acted the part of being flirtatious and sexual and seductive and encouraged that kind of behavior from guys.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 At 12 years old?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, at 12 years old.\u00a0 I just felt like that was the only way to truly be accepted.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did your parents know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think my parents knew that I was slipping away from the values that they had instilled in me growing up.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think they understood what I was truly exposed to because times had changed so dramatically.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think a lot of their perspective was:\u00a0 Well, she just kind of needs to go through this \u2013 its just part of the growing up process \u2013 we don\u2019t want to interfere \u2013 we don\u2019t want to be overprotective.\u00a0 Sometimes parents do need to step in and be overprotective!\u00a0 When we\u2019re talking about a culture that pushes sex on girls that are in elementary school, and you know five year olds are wearing bikinis and mini skirts \u2013 sometimes parents really do need to be those hero\u2019s and step in and say,\u00a0 \u201cNo, we don\u2019t want you to be around this \u2013 we don\u2019t want you to be exposed to this.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s not just part of the growing up process, it\u2019s the cultures agenda that we\u2019re not going to accept.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What your parents didn\u2019t know was that on some mornings you were leaving for school wearing baggy sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and as soon as you got out of the house what?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, I took the sweats off and I was wearing a halter top and a mini skirt because that was what I had to wear to receive that kind of attention from boys at school.\u00a0 My parents wouldn\u2019t have let me leave the house in that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your parents had no idea?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Where were you hiding the clothes?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I don\u2019t know \u2013 I had some system I\u2019m sure that was very elaborate.\u00a0 When I was about 16 - God really changed my life.\u00a0 I remember going to just a women\u2019s Bible study, and they were asking me to share what I was facing everyday at school.\u00a0 I remember just telling them some of the basics.\u00a0 The first time I was asked to have sex I was 13 years old.\u00a0\u00a0 A lot of my friends were already sexually active by that time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven though I was around Christians and we were going to youth group there was so much going on behind the scenes that our parents didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 I remember telling this to the mom\u2019s at the Bible study that this is reality, and none of them believed me.\u00a0 They thought you\u2019re just exaggerating, my daughter would tell me if she was really facing that kind of thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs my husband and I have traveled and spoken, we\u2019ve seen that attitude a lot with parents \u2013 sort of like well, I\u2019m sure I would know.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure my child would tell me, or I would pick up on it if they were really facing that.\u00a0 So many young people are living that lie \u2013 they\u2019re going to church, they\u2019re signing the abstinence commitments and they\u2019re living a completely different life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In my book I talk about a suburb where 50-100 middle school age girls had to be treated by the Health Department for an outbreak of syphilis because they were engaging in these parties where they would be having sex with 50-100 different partners in a six-month period.\u00a0 The Health Department was shocked by this behavior thinking you don\u2019t get syphilis unless you are like a prostitute or something.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s these 12, 13 year old girls, and the shocking thing about it was they went in and interviewed the parents and almost all of these girls were going to church.\u00a0 They were singing their Christian worship songs every Sunday morning, and then that Friday night they were living completely different way, and there were hardly any parents that had a clue what was really going on. So, there really is a disconnect going on between parents and kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019m picturing Bob, a mom listening to our broadcast right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Freaking out listening to our broadcast!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I want to move to New Zealand!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, I want to move to Iceland because that\u2019s a little more isolated!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well they\u2019re just going to wear baggy pants and sweatshirts, then when they get to school they\u2019re going to take them off there, too.\u00a0 You know, I just am picturing mom\u2019s listening and they\u2019re thinking Wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I just want to stop and say to moms as well as dads:\u00a0 listen to me \u2013 you do not have to let the culture win.\u00a0 You are the parents, and the teenager is going to make you feel dumb, inept, out of touch, but back to my earlier statement you cannot let them push you out.\u00a0 If there\u2019s anything a teenager needs as they go through these perilous days is they have to have a mom and a dad re-centering them because emotionally and spiritually they don\u2019t have the maturity to make the choices they need to make.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hate to say this to the mom\u2019s and dad\u2019s because our kids did this too:\u00a0 They\u2019re going to make some stupid choices, but I think what you said that moms and dads need to listen to here \u2013 \u201cLet your kids make some shocking statements, and don\u2019t let them see your shock\u201d!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomehow be a shock absorber as a parent so that your kids can come home, they can bring it home and they\u2019re not afraid of what you\u2019re going to say or do because of how they\u2019re debriefing with you over dinner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Was this issue of sexual pressure and what\u2019s going on in terms of sexuality \u2013 was that the dominant theme that was shaping your understanding of what it means to be a woman?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I definitely think so.\u00a0 The cultures message is the way to be feminine is to be sensual, to be seductive.\u00a0 So, every time I was around boys that was the topic of conversation, as you know who\u2019s the most desirable, who\u2019s doing what with who, and really sex was just everywhere.\u00a0 In the Christian circles it was a little more concealed, but it was still going on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI used to look at purity as the edge of a cliff, and I said, \u201cOkay, as long as I\u2019m technically still a virgin, and I don\u2019t fall off that cliff I can kind of inch my way a little closer\u00a0 - a little closer \u2013 a little closer.\u201d\u00a0 It got to the point where I was just dangling on the edge of the cliff, and the rocks were starting to slide out from underneath me.\u00a0 I was still technically pure, and technically a virgin.\u00a0 Unfortunately the message I was getting at youth group and from most Christian influences in my life was that was what really mattered was just the technical part of virginity and that left a lot of gray area.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Leslie, you spoke of the edge of the cliff\u2014you have no way of knowing this, but we happen to have a little drama that we\u2019ve put together for <em>Passport to Purity.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We have created this resource for parents to take pre adolescents through to give them a perspective on the whole issue of what purity ought to look like.\u00a0 The illustration of the cliff is something that we made a story out of, and turned it into a drama that the parents and their children can listen to.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong><strong>Drama<\/strong> (narrator)<strong>\u201c<\/strong>Once upon a time in a domain far, far away a shrewd queen ruled sovereign.\u00a0 The queen loved to be out among her people during times of peace in the kingdom of Ambrose.\u00a0 She would ride on her royal traveling throne \u2013 she would wave to children and bounce good wishes upon her subjects as she was carried about on the broad shoulders of the six most honorable knights in the kingdom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(female voice) Ooo, look at the abs on that one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(narrator)\u201cDuring times of war these six were called upon to fight for the rest.\u00a0 In the battle of weeping glen Vincent the Brave left this mortal world protecting a peasant widow from a fiery arrow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice)\u201cDoes this mean I\u2019m dead?\u00a0 Yes, yes, yes! Oh, goodbye!\u00a0 (scream)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(narrator) \u201cAfter a period of mourning, the queen desired to visit among her people again.\u00a0 It was time to choose Vincent\u2019s successor. (trumpet)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) Citizens of Ambrose, her royal highness the queen!\u00a0 (cheering)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod save the queen!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(female voice) And may God save you!\u00a0 Knights of Ambrose, I have summoned you here today because I require one of you to serve in my court, to bear me upon my throne, and to advise me in matters of state.\u00a0 Sir Arnold!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) Yes, my queen?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(female voice) Would you like to serve in my court?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) Oh yes, your highness \u2013 it would please me greatly!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(female voice) Very well \u2013 I know you to be strong Sir Arnold:\u00a0 You need only answer this question \u2013 if you were carrying my throne around Ambrose cliff where the path is narrow how close to the edge would you go?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) My lady it is as you say; I\u2019m very strong.\u00a0 I could carry you within one foot of the cliff!\u00a0 (clapping) \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(female voice) I see!\u00a0 Sir Jerrod?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) My queen I am your servant!\u00a0 What say you:\u00a0 How close to the edge of the cliff would you carry my throne?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) I am as strong as Arnold, but I possess perfect balance.\u00a0 I could carry your throne within six inches of the edge! (clapping)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) He could not \u2013 my queen, my queen I could carry you within three inches of the edge!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) You could not!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) I could \u2013 I could!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) Oh, you could not! You big oaf \u2013 you could not!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(female office) Silence!!\u00a0 Sir Connor what would you do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) Your highnesses were I granted the honor of carrying you on my shoulders I would go nowhere near the edge of Ambrose cliff.\u00a0 You\u2019ve kept us safe from our enemies, you have fed your kingdom from your storehouses, you have prayed for our peace.\u00a0 Your life is far too precious!\u00a0 I would never put you in danger!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(female voice) Sir Connor the wise will you serve in my court?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) It would be my honor!\u00a0 (cheering) \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s wonderful\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know, here\u2019s the thing Leslie.\u00a0 I stumbled on to this whole concept of challenging young people before they face the issue to make up their mind to do what\u2019s right.\u00a0 I stumbled on to it by teaching a sixth grade Sunday school class for 11 years.\u00a0 So, here I was with 11 and 12 year olds, a few 10 year olds slipped in there a few times, but mostly 11 and 12 year olds.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found out the same thing you just mentioned here on the broadcast \u2013 that they\u2019re being exposed to enormous sexual issues, drinking, drugs, movies, you name it.\u00a0 They need to be challenged to go as far away from the edge of the cliff as possible.\u00a0 They did have the capability of doing that before they face the issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But, here\u2019s what I\u2019m wondering with you \u2013 I mean, you were growing up in a Christian home, you had heard biblical values, now the culture\u2019s pulling you in a different direction \u2013 was there any tension in your own mind and heart about should I be doing this?\u00a0 Were you consciously making a decision to drift, or was it frog in the kettle kind of stuff for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think that\u2019s a great question because I did have a guilty conscience the whole time.\u00a0 This illustration that you just played is so good because it shows that the role of even a true man to protect purity rather than try to conquer purity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had no concept of that, because the guys that I was always around were constantly trying to push it as close to the edge of the cliff as possible and conquer a woman\u2019s purity rather than protect it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe problem was the church in general wasn\u2019t holding that standard up.\u00a0 They were really emphasizing as long as you don\u2019t have sex before marriage, and keeping it sort of muddy \u2013 the water\u2019s a little bit muddy.\u00a0 So, I would do things \u2013 when I graduated from high school I was still technically a virgin, but I didn\u2019t feel pure.\u00a0 I felt very guilty because I had done about everything you can do up to the point of falling off that cliff, and telling myself the whole time well, I\u2019m still a virgin, I\u2019m still keeping this abstinence commitment.\u00a0 Most of my friends are way past that line already with multiple guys, and here I am.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut, God really began to convict my heart when I was about 16, and I believe strongly that it was my parent\u2019s faithful prayers.\u00a0 That was the one thing that they were extremely strong in \u2013 when they didn\u2019t know what else to do they cried out to God for me, and prayed for hours and hours that God would draw me back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0When I was about 16, I remember just crying in my bed in my bedroom, and saying, \u201cGod, I\u2019m doing this the Christian way, I haven\u2019t fallen off the cliff, what\u2019s wrong?\u00a0 Why am I miserable?\u201d\u00a0 Over the next few weeks God began to just awaken me saying, \u201cYou know this isn\u2019t real purity \u2013 you\u2019re not living in real purity \u2013 you\u2019re trying to keep yourself away from the edge of the cliff, but you\u2019re not setting your life aside for the person that I have for you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I remember reading Proverbs 31.\u00a0 The only reason I was reading it was because I was doing a devotional, and it was Proverbs 31 \u2013 the 31<sup>st<\/sup> of the month.\u00a0 It said, \u201cThe wife of Godly character does her husband good and not harm all the days of her life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI stopped on that word all \u2013 all the days of her life she does her husband good:\u00a0 Does that mean before she meets him, before she knows him she\u2019s doing him good?\u00a0 I realized wow, I haven\u2019t been living that way for my future husband \u2013 I\u2019ve been trying to see how much I could get away with and still stay on God\u2019s good side.\u00a0 I was always asking the question how far is too far?\u00a0 How close can I go?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Which is what every teenager in America is saying:\u00a0 What\u2019s the line?\u00a0 That\u2019s why the cliff illustration makes sense right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Exactly \u2013 yes where do you draw that line?\u00a0 As opposed to the question we should be asking \u2013 how far can I go to honor God, to please God, to love my future spouse, to respect that person?\u00a0 If he could see me, if he could see my thoughts \u2013 my emotions, if he could see what I was giving to these guys would he be honored?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat answered a lot of questions for me right there, and I made a decision at that age.\u00a0 I said to God, \u201cOkay I\u2019m not going to give my body, my heart, my mind to another guy until it\u2019s the one that I\u2019m going to marry.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was a very tough decision because to walk away from all those shallow relationships, and the dating scene, and the rat race that I was in, and just wait for God to do something, and serve my life and live a set apart life for my future husband \u2013 it seemed like relational suicide.\u00a0 For the next couple years there were nights that I cried myself to sleep thinking this was a really bad decision \u2013 you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s no guy out there that\u2019s going to value this \u2013 I didn\u2019t see any guys that were interested in protecting purity, or that would honor a decision like that.\u00a0 But God just kept assuring my heart \u2013 I have someone for you, and it will be more beautiful than anything you could create for yourself if you trust me.\u00a0 That was really the beginning of a whole new season of my life where I discovered God\u2019s best as opposed to just trying to go the way of the world, and tag a few Christian morals on top.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know parents forget how much of a security this whole scene is for teenagers.\u00a0 Even though we used to be a teenager, it\u2019s like we forget what it was like to be a member of the herd!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And how strong the desire for approval, and for affirmation really is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yet, if we could go back, and observe your life undoubtedly there would have been those signals that your parents were observing that you were getting closer and closer to the edge of the cliff.\u00a0 Did they ever confront you about any of your behavior, or any fear that they had? Leslie we\u2019ve taught you, we\u2019ve trained you, we\u2019ve raised you \u2013 any expression of that as they raised you through those years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think there definitely were times when they attempted to bridge that gap of communication with me.\u00a0 I was very closed, and you know they had said, \u201c I wasn\u2019t even allowed to date until I was 16.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of this stuff was going on when I was 12, 13, 14 years old.\u00a0 There were just ways that I was able to sort of get around their scrutiny.\u00a0 I would go with a group of my friends out to a movie theater, but then I\u2019d pair off with a boy, and we\u2019d go in the back of the movie theater or you know at parties that were supposed to be supervised by other parents, and the parents would just sort of disappear.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of things like that where my parents just assumed that things were fine, and that I was doing what I was saying I was doing.\u00a0 I think they were very much at a loss for how to really draw that out of me \u2013 really get the reality of what I was doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u00a0I think most parents do end up feeling powerless, and the message for parents today is number one:\u00a0 Your relationship with your child really does matter \u2013 keep the relationship intact.\u00a0 Whatever you need to do generally speaking let the heart be connected to the heart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly your teaching also matters:\u00a0 All the biblical training; even though they are not listening if it\u2019s in there \u2013 if it\u2019s in the heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They are listening \u2013 they may not act like they\u2019re listening!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh yes \u2013 I can tell a story or two here:\u00a0 I won\u2019t!\u00a0 Then third:\u00a0 Persevere and pray- just don\u2019t quit!\u00a0 Hang in there with your child, and hold them up before God who has ways to bring them back that parents don\u2019t have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019d just add to that:\u00a0 Cast a vision for your son, for your daughter about what it looks like to live biblically when it comes to this issue of relationships.\u00a0 That\u2019s what you\u2019re trying to do for young ladies in the book:\u00a0 <em>Set Apart Femininity.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>We have copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>resource center.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf our listeners are interested in getting a copy a mom and a daughter could go through this book together \u2013 read through a chapter at a time; would spark some great conversation together!\u00a0 Again, go to our FamilyLife TodayResource Center on-line FamilyLifeToday.com or call toll-free, 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800 F as in \u201cfamily\u201d L as in \u201clife\u201d and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 Just mention that you are interested in a copy of Leslie\u2019s book, and we\u2019ll make arrangements to get it sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen let me also say, \u201cIf your daughter\u2019s not yet a teenager, and you\u2019ve not taken her through the <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> material, get more information about that on our web-site as well\u201d \u2013 FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 I continue to hear from so many parents who go through <em>Passport to Purity <\/em>with their pre-teen sons, or their pre-teen daughters:\u00a0 It\u2019s just a great weekend for a parent and a child to connect together, and to talk about these issues, and to lay the groundwork for the teen years, and for the issues of relationships that are going to pop up during that time.\u00a0 Now, there\u2019s information about those resources and more on-line at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Or again, call us at 1-800 F as in \u201cfamily\u201d L as in \u201clife\u201d and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, it seems to me that whatever age our children are, this issue of coaching them in the area of relationships is a part of our ongoing responsibility as parents.\u00a0 If they\u2019re pre-teens we\u2019re talking to them about healthy friendships, we may be getting them ready for some of the boy girl kinds of interaction that are going to come later on.\u00a0 If they are teenagers, we\u2019re taking them through the rapids of the teenage years, and talking about relationships then.\u00a0 If they\u2019re young, single adults there are a myriad of issues that come up in relationships for young singles.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis, you and I had a conversation a number of months ago with Chip Ingram who is an author, and a pastor, and a nationally known speaker.\u00a0 We talked with him about the young single culture today, and the mistakes that a lot of young singles are making.\u00a0 That conversation went on for about two hours, and we have two CD\u2019s that feature the extended dialog that we had with Chip.\u00a0 We want to make those CD\u2019s available this week to any of our listeners who can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>with a donation of any amount.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re listener supported, your donations make it possible for us to be on this station and on our network of more than 1,000 stations and outlets all across the country.\u00a0 So, we do appreciate your partnership with us!\u00a0 When you go on-line this week to make a donation, as you are filling out the donation form when you come to the key-code box on the form just type in the word \u201clove\u201d that way we will know to send you the CD\u2019s with Chip Ingram.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr, call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 You can make your donation over the phone and ask for the CD\u2019s about relationships that you heard us talking about \u2013 again we\u2019re happy to send those out to you.\u00a0 We do appreciate your partnership with us, and your financial support of this ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow Leslie Ludy is going to be back with us.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk more about what we can do as parents to cast a vision for Biblical womanhood with our daughters.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow \u2013 hope you can be with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["13.37M"],"filesize_raw":["14020003"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-301889.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-301889.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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Leslie Ludy was 14 she was eager to have the young men drool over her.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-09-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I was always asking the question how far is too far?\u00a0 How close can I go?\u00a0 As opposed to the question we should be asking:\u00a0 How far can I go to honor God; to please God; to love my future spouse; to respect that person?\u00a0 If he could see what I was giving to these guys would he be honored?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI made a decision, and I said to God, \u201cOkay I\u2019m not going to give my body, my heart, my mind to another guy until it\u2019s the one that I\u2019m going to marry.\u201d\u00a0 That was a very tough decision because to walk away from all those shallow relationships, and the dating scene, and just wait for God to do something, and serve my life, and live a set apart life for my future husband; it seemed like relational suicide!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, September 9.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Straight talk for parents today from Leslie Ludy on how we can raise daughters to embrace biblical womanhood.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> thanks for joining us.\u00a0 If you had to identify what has been the dominant influence in your life on the subject of understanding your own masculinity what\u2019s been primary do you think?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s a great question!\u00a0 I think it would be a combination of reading the Bible and what the Bible calls men to do.\u00a0 I think secondly seeing the Bible lived out in other men who have been very influential in my life, and I think also my father who really did have the primary influence and it really set me in the right direction.\u00a0 I think for a lot of young people today both male and female:\u00a0 The models that they need at home may not be as strong as what they really need!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, our understanding of what it means for us to be men and women:\u00a0 We live in an era of cultural confusion on that, and it\u2019s hard for a lot of people to know where do I get the right picture?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right, and our guest on today\u2019s program Leslie Ludy actually had an experience when she was a young lady that marked her life in terms of her own femininity, and in terms of who she wanted to be.\u00a0 Leslie, I want you to know I really enjoyed your book <em>Set Apart Femininity.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh thank you!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You\u2019ve written other best selling books, you\u2019re a speaker, a musician, a wife, a Mom:\u00a0 is there anything you don\u2019t do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, I probably don\u2019t do them all very well, but I do dabble in a lot of things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You have four children under the age of what now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Four:\u00a0 Well, I\u2019m pregnant with number four. So, right now we have three \u2013 four and under.\u00a0 It\u2019s very wild at our house most days.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>She and her husband, Eric, live in Colorado.\u00a0 I want to go back to the beginning of the book.\u00a0 You talk about as a 14-year-old young lady, one of the things you wanted to have the guys do was drool over you! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Now, where did you pick up that message as a 14 year old? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think it actually started quite a few years before I was 14.\u00a0 I remember being about 10, and being in my 5<sup>th<\/sup> grade elementary school standing by the water fountain; being with a bunch of my girlfriends, and having a bunch of boys surround us by the water fountain.\u00a0 They started just making jokes about which ones of us were sexually attractive, and which ones were developed, and which weren\u2019t.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was one that was labeled undesirable at the age of 10.\u00a0 I was surrounded by a culture that was constantly pushing this agenda \u2013 that you need to have a sexual attitude as a young woman.\u00a0 You need to flaunt your figure and be flirtatious and be seductive and be sensual.\u00a0 By the time I was probably 12, in middle school I just played right into it.\u00a0 I acted the part of being flirtatious and sexual and seductive and encouraged that kind of behavior from guys.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 At 12 years old?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, at 12 years old.\u00a0 I just felt like that was the only way to truly be accepted.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did your parents know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think my parents knew that I was slipping away from the values that they had instilled in me growing up.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think they understood what I was truly exposed to because times had changed so dramatically.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think a lot of their perspective was:\u00a0 Well, she just kind of needs to go through this \u2013 its just part of the growing up process \u2013 we don\u2019t want to interfere \u2013 we don\u2019t want to be overprotective.\u00a0 Sometimes parents do need to step in and be overprotective!\u00a0 When we\u2019re talking about a culture that pushes sex on girls that are in elementary school, and you know five year olds are wearing bikinis and mini skirts \u2013 sometimes parents really do need to be those hero\u2019s and step in and say,\u00a0 \u201cNo, we don\u2019t want you to be around this \u2013 we don\u2019t want you to be exposed to this.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s not just part of the growing up process, it\u2019s the cultures agenda that we\u2019re not going to accept.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What your parents didn\u2019t know was that on some mornings you were leaving for school wearing baggy sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and as soon as you got out of the house what?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, I took the sweats off and I was wearing a halter top and a mini skirt because that was what I had to wear to receive that kind of attention from boys at school.\u00a0 My parents wouldn\u2019t have let me leave the house in that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your parents had no idea?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Where were you hiding the clothes?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I don\u2019t know \u2013 I had some system I\u2019m sure that was very elaborate.\u00a0 When I was about 16 - God really changed my life.\u00a0 I remember going to just a women\u2019s Bible study, and they were asking me to share what I was facing everyday at school.\u00a0 I remember just telling them some of the basics.\u00a0 The first time I was asked to have sex I was 13 years old.\u00a0\u00a0 A lot of my friends were already sexually active by that time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven though I was around Christians and we were going to youth group there was so much going on behind the scenes that our parents didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 I remember telling this to the mom\u2019s at the Bible study that this is reality, and none of them believed me.\u00a0 They thought you\u2019re just exaggerating, my daughter would tell me if she was really facing that kind of thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs my husband and I have traveled and spoken, we\u2019ve seen that attitude a lot with parents \u2013 sort of like well, I\u2019m sure I would know.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure my child would tell me, or I would pick up on it if they were really facing that.\u00a0 So many young people are living that lie \u2013 they\u2019re going to church, they\u2019re signing the abstinence commitments and they\u2019re living a completely different life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0In my book I talk about a suburb where 50-100 middle school age girls had to be treated by the Health Department for an outbreak of syphilis because they were engaging in these parties where they would be having sex with 50-100 different partners in a six-month period.\u00a0 The Health Department was shocked by this behavior thinking you don\u2019t get syphilis unless you are like a prostitute or something.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s these 12, 13 year old girls, and the shocking thing about it was they went in and interviewed the parents and almost all of these girls were going to church.\u00a0 They were singing their Christian worship songs every Sunday morning, and then that Friday night they were living completely different way, and there were hardly any parents that had a clue what was really going on. So, there really is a disconnect going on between parents and kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019m picturing Bob, a mom listening to our broadcast right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Freaking out listening to our broadcast!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I want to move to New Zealand!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, I want to move to Iceland because that\u2019s a little more isolated!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well they\u2019re just going to wear baggy pants and sweatshirts, then when they get to school they\u2019re going to take them off there, too.\u00a0 You know, I just am picturing mom\u2019s listening and they\u2019re thinking Wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I just want to stop and say to moms as well as dads:\u00a0 listen to me \u2013 you do not have to let the culture win.\u00a0 You are the parents, and the teenager is going to make you feel dumb, inept, out of touch, but back to my earlier statement you cannot let them push you out.\u00a0 If there\u2019s anything a teenager needs as they go through these perilous days is they have to have a mom and a dad re-centering them because emotionally and spiritually they don\u2019t have the maturity to make the choices they need to make.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hate to say this to the mom\u2019s and dad\u2019s because our kids did this too:\u00a0 They\u2019re going to make some stupid choices, but I think what you said that moms and dads need to listen to here \u2013 \u201cLet your kids make some shocking statements, and don\u2019t let them see your shock\u201d!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomehow be a shock absorber as a parent so that your kids can come home, they can bring it home and they\u2019re not afraid of what you\u2019re going to say or do because of how they\u2019re debriefing with you over dinner. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Was this issue of sexual pressure and what\u2019s going on in terms of sexuality \u2013 was that the dominant theme that was shaping your understanding of what it means to be a woman?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I definitely think so.\u00a0 The cultures message is the way to be feminine is to be sensual, to be seductive.\u00a0 So, every time I was around boys that was the topic of conversation, as you know who\u2019s the most desirable, who\u2019s doing what with who, and really sex was just everywhere.\u00a0 In the Christian circles it was a little more concealed, but it was still going on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI used to look at purity as the edge of a cliff, and I said, \u201cOkay, as long as I\u2019m technically still a virgin, and I don\u2019t fall off that cliff I can kind of inch my way a little closer\u00a0 - a little closer \u2013 a little closer.\u201d\u00a0 It got to the point where I was just dangling on the edge of the cliff, and the rocks were starting to slide out from underneath me.\u00a0 I was still technically pure, and technically a virgin.\u00a0 Unfortunately the message I was getting at youth group and from most Christian influences in my life was that was what really mattered was just the technical part of virginity and that left a lot of gray area.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Leslie, you spoke of the edge of the cliff\u2014you have no way of knowing this, but we happen to have a little drama that we\u2019ve put together for <em>Passport to Purity.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We have created this resource for parents to take pre adolescents through to give them a perspective on the whole issue of what purity ought to look like.\u00a0 The illustration of the cliff is something that we made a story out of, and turned it into a drama that the parents and their children can listen to.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong><strong>Drama<\/strong> (narrator)<strong>\u201c<\/strong>Once upon a time in a domain far, far away a shrewd queen ruled sovereign.\u00a0 The queen loved to be out among her people during times of peace in the kingdom of Ambrose.\u00a0 She would ride on her royal traveling throne \u2013 she would wave to children and bounce good wishes upon her subjects as she was carried about on the broad shoulders of the six most honorable knights in the kingdom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(female voice) Ooo, look at the abs on that one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(narrator)\u201cDuring times of war these six were called upon to fight for the rest.\u00a0 In the battle of weeping glen Vincent the Brave left this mortal world protecting a peasant widow from a fiery arrow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice)\u201cDoes this mean I\u2019m dead?\u00a0 Yes, yes, yes! Oh, goodbye!\u00a0 (scream)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(narrator) \u201cAfter a period of mourning, the queen desired to visit among her people again.\u00a0 It was time to choose Vincent\u2019s successor. (trumpet)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) Citizens of Ambrose, her royal highness the queen!\u00a0 (cheering)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod save the queen!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(female voice) And may God save you!\u00a0 Knights of Ambrose, I have summoned you here today because I require one of you to serve in my court, to bear me upon my throne, and to advise me in matters of state.\u00a0 Sir Arnold!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) Yes, my queen?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(female voice) Would you like to serve in my court?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) Oh yes, your highness \u2013 it would please me greatly!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(female voice) Very well \u2013 I know you to be strong Sir Arnold:\u00a0 You need only answer this question \u2013 if you were carrying my throne around Ambrose cliff where the path is narrow how close to the edge would you go?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) My lady it is as you say; I\u2019m very strong.\u00a0 I could carry you within one foot of the cliff!\u00a0 (clapping) \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(female voice) I see!\u00a0 Sir Jerrod?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) My queen I am your servant!\u00a0 What say you:\u00a0 How close to the edge of the cliff would you carry my throne?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) I am as strong as Arnold, but I possess perfect balance.\u00a0 I could carry your throne within six inches of the edge! (clapping)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) He could not \u2013 my queen, my queen I could carry you within three inches of the edge!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) You could not!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) I could \u2013 I could!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) Oh, you could not! You big oaf \u2013 you could not!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(female office) Silence!!\u00a0 Sir Connor what would you do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) Your highnesses were I granted the honor of carrying you on my shoulders I would go nowhere near the edge of Ambrose cliff.\u00a0 You\u2019ve kept us safe from our enemies, you have fed your kingdom from your storehouses, you have prayed for our peace.\u00a0 Your life is far too precious!\u00a0 I would never put you in danger!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(female voice) Sir Connor the wise will you serve in my court?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(male voice) It would be my honor!\u00a0 (cheering) \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s wonderful\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know, here\u2019s the thing Leslie.\u00a0 I stumbled on to this whole concept of challenging young people before they face the issue to make up their mind to do what\u2019s right.\u00a0 I stumbled on to it by teaching a sixth grade Sunday school class for 11 years.\u00a0 So, here I was with 11 and 12 year olds, a few 10 year olds slipped in there a few times, but mostly 11 and 12 year olds.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI found out the same thing you just mentioned here on the broadcast \u2013 that they\u2019re being exposed to enormous sexual issues, drinking, drugs, movies, you name it.\u00a0 They need to be challenged to go as far away from the edge of the cliff as possible.\u00a0 They did have the capability of doing that before they face the issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>But, here\u2019s what I\u2019m wondering with you \u2013 I mean, you were growing up in a Christian home, you had heard biblical values, now the culture\u2019s pulling you in a different direction \u2013 was there any tension in your own mind and heart about should I be doing this?\u00a0 Were you consciously making a decision to drift, or was it frog in the kettle kind of stuff for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think that\u2019s a great question because I did have a guilty conscience the whole time.\u00a0 This illustration that you just played is so good because it shows that the role of even a true man to protect purity rather than try to conquer purity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had no concept of that, because the guys that I was always around were constantly trying to push it as close to the edge of the cliff as possible and conquer a woman\u2019s purity rather than protect it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe problem was the church in general wasn\u2019t holding that standard up.\u00a0 They were really emphasizing as long as you don\u2019t have sex before marriage, and keeping it sort of muddy \u2013 the water\u2019s a little bit muddy.\u00a0 So, I would do things \u2013 when I graduated from high school I was still technically a virgin, but I didn\u2019t feel pure.\u00a0 I felt very guilty because I had done about everything you can do up to the point of falling off that cliff, and telling myself the whole time well, I\u2019m still a virgin, I\u2019m still keeping this abstinence commitment.\u00a0 Most of my friends are way past that line already with multiple guys, and here I am.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut, God really began to convict my heart when I was about 16, and I believe strongly that it was my parent\u2019s faithful prayers.\u00a0 That was the one thing that they were extremely strong in \u2013 when they didn\u2019t know what else to do they cried out to God for me, and prayed for hours and hours that God would draw me back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0When I was about 16, I remember just crying in my bed in my bedroom, and saying, \u201cGod, I\u2019m doing this the Christian way, I haven\u2019t fallen off the cliff, what\u2019s wrong?\u00a0 Why am I miserable?\u201d\u00a0 Over the next few weeks God began to just awaken me saying, \u201cYou know this isn\u2019t real purity \u2013 you\u2019re not living in real purity \u2013 you\u2019re trying to keep yourself away from the edge of the cliff, but you\u2019re not setting your life aside for the person that I have for you.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0I remember reading Proverbs 31.\u00a0 The only reason I was reading it was because I was doing a devotional, and it was Proverbs 31 \u2013 the 31<sup>st<\/sup> of the month.\u00a0 It said, \u201cThe wife of Godly character does her husband good and not harm all the days of her life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI stopped on that word all \u2013 all the days of her life she does her husband good:\u00a0 Does that mean before she meets him, before she knows him she\u2019s doing him good?\u00a0 I realized wow, I haven\u2019t been living that way for my future husband \u2013 I\u2019ve been trying to see how much I could get away with and still stay on God\u2019s good side.\u00a0 I was always asking the question how far is too far?\u00a0 How close can I go?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Which is what every teenager in America is saying:\u00a0 What\u2019s the line?\u00a0 That\u2019s why the cliff illustration makes sense right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Exactly \u2013 yes where do you draw that line?\u00a0 As opposed to the question we should be asking \u2013 how far can I go to honor God, to please God, to love my future spouse, to respect that person?\u00a0 If he could see me, if he could see my thoughts \u2013 my emotions, if he could see what I was giving to these guys would he be honored?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat answered a lot of questions for me right there, and I made a decision at that age.\u00a0 I said to God, \u201cOkay I\u2019m not going to give my body, my heart, my mind to another guy until it\u2019s the one that I\u2019m going to marry.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was a very tough decision because to walk away from all those shallow relationships, and the dating scene, and the rat race that I was in, and just wait for God to do something, and serve my life and live a set apart life for my future husband \u2013 it seemed like relational suicide.\u00a0 For the next couple years there were nights that I cried myself to sleep thinking this was a really bad decision \u2013 you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s no guy out there that\u2019s going to value this \u2013 I didn\u2019t see any guys that were interested in protecting purity, or that would honor a decision like that.\u00a0 But God just kept assuring my heart \u2013 I have someone for you, and it will be more beautiful than anything you could create for yourself if you trust me.\u00a0 That was really the beginning of a whole new season of my life where I discovered God\u2019s best as opposed to just trying to go the way of the world, and tag a few Christian morals on top.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know parents forget how much of a security this whole scene is for teenagers.\u00a0 Even though we used to be a teenager, it\u2019s like we forget what it was like to be a member of the herd!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And how strong the desire for approval, and for affirmation really is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yet, if we could go back, and observe your life undoubtedly there would have been those signals that your parents were observing that you were getting closer and closer to the edge of the cliff.\u00a0 Did they ever confront you about any of your behavior, or any fear that they had? Leslie we\u2019ve taught you, we\u2019ve trained you, we\u2019ve raised you \u2013 any expression of that as they raised you through those years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Leslie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think there definitely were times when they attempted to bridge that gap of communication with me.\u00a0 I was very closed, and you know they had said, \u201c I wasn\u2019t even allowed to date until I was 16.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of this stuff was going on when I was 12, 13, 14 years old.\u00a0 There were just ways that I was able to sort of get around their scrutiny.\u00a0 I would go with a group of my friends out to a movie theater, but then I\u2019d pair off with a boy, and we\u2019d go in the back of the movie theater or you know at parties that were supposed to be supervised by other parents, and the parents would just sort of disappear.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of things like that where my parents just assumed that things were fine, and that I was doing what I was saying I was doing.\u00a0 I think they were very much at a loss for how to really draw that out of me \u2013 really get the reality of what I was doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u00a0I think most parents do end up feeling powerless, and the message for parents today is number one:\u00a0 Your relationship with your child really does matter \u2013 keep the relationship intact.\u00a0 Whatever you need to do generally speaking let the heart be connected to the heart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly your teaching also matters:\u00a0 All the biblical training; even though they are not listening if it\u2019s in there \u2013 if it\u2019s in the heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They are listening \u2013 they may not act like they\u2019re listening!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh yes \u2013 I can tell a story or two here:\u00a0 I won\u2019t!\u00a0 Then third:\u00a0 Persevere and pray- just don\u2019t quit!\u00a0 Hang in there with your child, and hold them up before God who has ways to bring them back that parents don\u2019t have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019d just add to that:\u00a0 Cast a vision for your son, for your daughter about what it looks like to live biblically when it comes to this issue of relationships.\u00a0 That\u2019s what you\u2019re trying to do for young ladies in the book:\u00a0 <em>Set Apart Femininity.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>We have copies of the book in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>resource center.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf our listeners are interested in getting a copy a mom and a daughter could go through this book together \u2013 read through a chapter at a time; would spark some great conversation together!\u00a0 Again, go to our FamilyLife TodayResource Center on-line FamilyLifeToday.com or call toll-free, 1-800-FLTODAY, 1-800 F as in \u201cfamily\u201d L as in \u201clife\u201d and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 Just mention that you are interested in a copy of Leslie\u2019s book, and we\u2019ll make arrangements to get it sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen let me also say, \u201cIf your daughter\u2019s not yet a teenager, and you\u2019ve not taken her through the <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> material, get more information about that on our web-site as well\u201d \u2013 FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 I continue to hear from so many parents who go through <em>Passport to Purity <\/em>with their pre-teen sons, or their pre-teen daughters:\u00a0 It\u2019s just a great weekend for a parent and a child to connect together, and to talk about these issues, and to lay the groundwork for the teen years, and for the issues of relationships that are going to pop up during that time.\u00a0 Now, there\u2019s information about those resources and more on-line at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Or again, call us at 1-800 F as in \u201cfamily\u201d L as in \u201clife\u201d and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, it seems to me that whatever age our children are, this issue of coaching them in the area of relationships is a part of our ongoing responsibility as parents.\u00a0 If they\u2019re pre-teens we\u2019re talking to them about healthy friendships, we may be getting them ready for some of the boy girl kinds of interaction that are going to come later on.\u00a0 If they are teenagers, we\u2019re taking them through the rapids of the teenage years, and talking about relationships then.\u00a0 If they\u2019re young, single adults there are a myriad of issues that come up in relationships for young singles.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis, you and I had a conversation a number of months ago with Chip Ingram who is an author, and a pastor, and a nationally known speaker.\u00a0 We talked with him about the young single culture today, and the mistakes that a lot of young singles are making.\u00a0 That conversation went on for about two hours, and we have two CD\u2019s that feature the extended dialog that we had with Chip.\u00a0 We want to make those CD\u2019s available this week to any of our listeners who can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>with a donation of any amount.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re listener supported, your donations make it possible for us to be on this station and on our network of more than 1,000 stations and outlets all across the country.\u00a0 So, we do appreciate your partnership with us!\u00a0 When you go on-line this week to make a donation, as you are filling out the donation form when you come to the key-code box on the form just type in the word \u201clove\u201d that way we will know to send you the CD\u2019s with Chip Ingram.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr, call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 You can make your donation over the phone and ask for the CD\u2019s about relationships that you heard us talking about \u2013 again we\u2019re happy to send those out to you.\u00a0 We do appreciate your partnership with us, and your financial support of this ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow Leslie Ludy is going to be back with us.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk more about what we can do as parents to cast a vision for Biblical womanhood with our daughters.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow \u2013 hope you can be with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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