{"id":301874,"date":"2009-08-06T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-08-06T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/divorce-granted\/"},"modified":"2009-08-06T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-08-06T15:00:00","slug":"divorce-granted","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/divorce-granted\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorce Granted"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Divorce often offers more problems than solutions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-08-06.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"10.81M","filesize_raw":"11333691","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809],"tags":[4927,4086,4926,2877],"podcast_series":[7664],"cwp_profile":[9173],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301874","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","tag-challenges","tag-commitment","tag-faithfulness","tag-marriage","podcast_series-i-do-again","cwp_profile-jeff-and-cheryl-scruggs","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301874\/divorce-granted","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301874\/divorce-granted","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"JhNGmrAuSP\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/divorce-granted\/\">Divorce Granted<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/divorce-granted\/embed\/#?secret=JhNGmrAuSP\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Divorce Granted&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"JhNGmrAuSP\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Divorce often offers more problems than solutions.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-08-06.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>What do you do with a daughter in one arm, and the shock in your hands? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You know for the moment I think I was just numb.\u00a0 I can\u2019t remember which girl it was \u2013 it was one of my daughters.\u00a0 I took her back up the stairs and put them to bed.\u00a0 Then I just went in my room and I was bawling like a baby.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking, what is going on?\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t figure it out. I need help.\u00a0 We need help!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He was trying to come to me.\u00a0 Not every day, but he would come to me, and I had shunned him so much that I was starting to sleep upstairs.\u00a0 That\u2019s a very common thing that couples do also is they go to separate parts of the home and start sleeping there.\u00a0 Our girls were young enough where they didn\u2019t know that was happening.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, he would do things!\u00a0 In fact one time (I\u2019m a big golfer) Jeff was trying to shower me with anything he could.\u00a0 His heart, material things, he bought a set of Ping i2\u2019s for me and put them under the sheets.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I was desperate!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I thought this isn\u2019t going to get it.\u00a0 I was just numb!\u00a0 I didn\u2019t care what he was doing!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>At the point that you were served papers, and even at the point that the divorce was final, you still had no idea that there was another man?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I had no idea!\u00a0 I thought something was wrong with us.\u00a0 One of us had something going on mentally like what is going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>One of us \u2013 like her!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jeff:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Like me \u2013 right!\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s right!\u00a0 He actually asked me three or four times if there was someone else.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, she had lied to you multiple times, and the reality of this is another principle that we\u2019ve been talking about here: Tell the truth to your spouse!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Don\u2019t hide things from your spouse.\u00a0 A small thing can become a big thing! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Do you think there\u2019s anything Jeff could have done?\u00a0 The Ping i2\u2019s weren\u2019t going to work! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf he had come in and sat down in front of you and said, \u201cI\u2019ll do whatever\u201d!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cheryl:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He did that!\u00a0 I think that what was important to see from that is that I needed to communicate to him early on.\u00a0 That\u2019s what the missing link was.\u00a0 That\u2019s what I want couples to hear is that if you\u2019re feeling empty and if you\u2019re feeling things don\u2019t be afraid to go to your spouse, and start working on it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy Mom said to me the day I told her we were getting divorced \u2013 of course she cried, and my Dad said, \u201cOf all you kids, I never thought you and Jeff would get divorced, but you kids you never work on anything\u201d!\u00a0 So, that was a big thing \u2013 I still remember to this day now being almost 20 years ago or so. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I\u2019m listening to your story and I\u2019m thinking of Proverbs 24: 3-4\u2014by wisdom a house is built.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ve never thought about this before, but you could also say the opposite of that\u2014 by foolishness a house is torn down.\u00a0 Foolishness doesn\u2019t have to just be an affair. It can be a lack of understanding, a lack of initiative, passivity, and a failure to pursue.\u00a0 You both had added to the collapse of this marriage. It wasn\u2019t one person\u2019s fault.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the challenge to those who are listening is how do you get the wisdom to build a house that withstands the storms of life?\u00a0 They will come \u2013 the storms are out there, and there will be temptations.\u00a0 How do you build a house that can stand strong in this culture?\u00a0 Bob, a book like this can give hope to people who otherwise have no hope.\u00a0 They think they\u2019re the only people in their city, or their community that have problems. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Right, andthat may not be you \u2013 the person who is listening, but it could be that you know somebody who is in this situation. You could get a copy of this book and pass it along to them, and provide them with help, and with encouragement. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have copies of the book at our FamilyLife Today resource center, and you can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and find out more about how to order a copy of the book <em>I Do Again <\/em>by Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain the web site is FamilyLifeToday.com, or here\u2019s another idea: if you know a couple that is in a tough spot in their marriage, why don\u2019t you call them and invite them to join you and all of you go to together to a Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference when it comes to a city near where you live this fall. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo help make that possible for you, here\u2019s what we\u2019re doing for <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners this week and next week: When you call to register for an upcoming conference you register you and your spouse at the regular rate and we\u2019re going to send you a certificate for a second couple to attend free. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you and your spouse register at the regular rate, you\u2019ll get a certificate for a second couple to attend with you at no cost. You can send that certificate to somebody who lives across the country if you want to, you can pass it along to your married son and his wife, or your married daughter and her husband, or to your Mom and Dad for that matter. However you\u2019d like to use it, but it\u2019s a buy one get one free opportunity for the Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference \u2013 it\u2019s for <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listeners, and it\u2019s this week and next week only. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo to take advantage of this opportunity, you need to go online at FamilyLifeToday.com. There\u2019s more information about when the conferences are being held, in what cities this fall, and you can register online for the conference. When you register, you want to make sure that you type my name in the promo code box on the registration form: just type in \u201cBob\u201d and that will qualify you for the buy one get one free opportunity for the Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr, simply call 1-800-FLTODAY, we can answer any questions you have about when the conference is coming to a place near where you live and we can get you registered over the phone.\u00a0\u00a0 Just make sure that you mention \u201cBob told me to call\u201d or that you are a <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>listener so that you can take advantage of this special buy one get one free opportunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou and your spouse register at the regular rate and another couple can attend with you at no cost. All the details are available online at FamilyLifeToday.com or you can get more when you call us at 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, tomorrow we are going to hear how God eventually brought Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs back together to where they said, \u201c<em>I Do Again.\u201d <\/em>\u00a0I hope you can be with us for that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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