{"id":301870,"date":"2009-07-31T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-07-31T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/transitioning-into-adulthood\/"},"modified":"2009-07-31T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-07-31T15:00:00","slug":"transitioning-into-adulthood","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/transitioning-into-adulthood\/","title":{"rendered":"Transitioning into Adulthood"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>All of us eventually transition from the teen years to adulthood.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-07-31.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11.43M","filesize_raw":"11982132","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2855,2870],"tags":[4018,4928,2588],"podcast_series":[7662],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301870","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-teens","category-tweens","tag-dating","tag-high-school","tag-teens","podcast_series-so-youre-about-to-be-a-teenager","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301870\/transitioning-into-adulthood","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301870\/transitioning-into-adulthood","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"dkS9kilrya\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/transitioning-into-adulthood\/\">Transitioning into Adulthood<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/transitioning-into-adulthood\/embed\/#?secret=dkS9kilrya\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Transitioning into Adulthood&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"dkS9kilrya\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"All of us eventually transition from the teen years to adulthood.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-07-31.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not long ago Dennis Rainey had an opportunity to sit down with a group of young men and women and to talk candidly with them about their teenage years.\u00a0 Well, about 100 preteens listened very carefully.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What was the biggest change you experienced as you became a teenager?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrew:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, mine was dealing with all the insecurities coming along with junior high and trying to fit in and be cool, and that really was probably the biggest thing.\u00a0 We spent most of our time trying to be cool, and it really was a waste, because there were so many opportunities there to share Christ with your friends than be worried about how you look and how you're acting.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut stats show that most Christians accept Christ in this age group, so the ground is fertile, if you would just not pass up opportunities to share with your friends instead of just worrying about all the things that go along with junior high and trying to fit in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thank you for joining us on the Friday edition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat's sound advice from a young man -- one of two young men on a panel that we hosted a number of years ago.\u00a0 We got together -- two young men and two young ladies in their early 20s,\u00a0 and had them talk to a group of preteens and to offer advice and, I'll tell you, I have thought, since that time, how good it was for those preteens to be able to sit there and hear sound advice from somebody other than their parents.\u00a0 They were probably paying more careful attention to what was being said because it was coming from those older teenagers.\u00a0 I would guess the credibility factor was pretty high don\u2019t you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think they were listening.\u00a0 In fact, you remember that evening -- those young people, the preteens, the sixth graders, they kind of moved to the edge of their chairs.\u00a0 You could tell they really wanted to know what these older teens, young men and women, had to say on the subjects of dating, sex, peer pressure, relating to parents, what their best advice was as a young person entered the teenage years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, in fact, we're going to hear their response to that question in just a minute.\u00a0 I know there were some parents in the back of the room that night who were waiting to drive their sixth graders home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI talked to a few of them later, and they said, \"We had some interesting conversations on the way home,\" and I guess we would encourage churches, youth groups -- and this is a great opportunity that you have at your local church to get some mature young people who are at the end of the teenage years and have them pass along wisdom and godly counsel to the sixth graders.\u00a0 I know that one of the things we've tried to do, as parents, is make sure that godly counsel for our kids is coming from a lot of different directions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me just tell you another way that you can do that without using a panel -- Barbara and I and our son, Samuel, and daughter, Rebecca, have written a book called <em>So You're About to be a Teenager<\/em>, and this book would make a great gift to give a whole class of sixth graders in your church.\u00a0 In fact, we've heard of this occurring, where a Sunday school class will give this either as a beginning gift as they start the sixth grade and begin the school year or as a graduation gift to a young person who is about to move from the elementary education years to junior high.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's a different ballgame in junior high, and you need other voices alongside your voice.\u00a0 A good book like this, <em>So You're About to be a Teenager<\/em>, is really something that every parent ought to add to their library for their children, especially if they want their child to go into the adolescent years having already made up their mind in advance what they're going to do before they face drugs, alcohol, sex, peer pressure.\u00a0 These are days that are challenging for us, as parents, and I think we need all the tools we can get.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Samuel and Rebecca share their own personal insights, their stories, illustrations from their teenage years, and I think that's what captures the attention of the preteen as they go through this book.\u00a0 It's not just Mr. Rainey and Mrs. Rainey telling them about the teenage years, but it's somebody who was there not long ago, and you've been recommending that, along with the book, you slip in some incentive, a little cash on the barrelhead, a little moolah, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A little bribe, as you called it earlier in the week.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But they've got to earn it.\u00a0 Don't give them the money until the book has been read \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 and they've looked over the Extreme Life Promises at the end of the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There's something you have done with your older children, as they've graduated from high school.\u00a0 You've gathered together a group of men or a group of ladies and had a breakfast with the boy and some older mentors right as they were transitioning to a new phase in life.\u00a0 You could do the same thing with a 12-year-old, couldn't you?\u00a0 Couldn't you have a breakfast, where you get together some older mentors who could talk to him, kind of like this panel did with all of those children?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You could.\u00a0 In fact, what I try to do is, I taught the sixth grade Sunday school class, was bring this panel into the class and share with the class their best advice prior to going into the junior high years.\u00a0 Bob, I always found that when these panelists, who were not that far removed from being 10, 11, 12 years of age, when they reflected back on their early teenage years, they did a better job of giving advice than some of us older fogies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Had some pretty good insight -- in fact, we asked that question of our panel the night that we gathered with a group of preteens, and we want you to hear what they shared with the kids that night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(taped discussion)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You could give them your best piece of advice about the next five or six years of their life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grant:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'd say that, you know, you all are a lot younger than us, but we're really kind of in the same boat.\u00a0 Basically we're ignorant and arrogant concerning most all of life.\u00a0 The problem is we want to think and talk as if we weren't, but to do so is silly and presumptuous.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat you need to do -- the next logical question is what do you do about that ignorance?\u00a0 You basically learn to listen.\u00a0 Proverbs 6:20-23 says, \"My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching.\u00a0 Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck.\u00a0 When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you wake, they will speak to you, for these commands are a lamp; this teaching is a light; and the corrections of discipline are the way to life.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm not saying when you're ignorant and arrogant, I\u2019m not saying you're not intelligent, that you should stop developing opinions or stop thinking critically, but to do those things, realizing where you are in life, and taking your thoughts and your opinions and comparing them to those who have experienced life, who do know things and have your best interests at heart; namely, your parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, and whatnot.\u00a0 So that's what I'd say to you -- is to value your parents' words and just learn to listen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Katy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say definitely just to guard your heart.\u00a0 The Bible says guard your heart first the wellspring of life and that just comes in a lot of areas.\u00a0 It comes in the area of movies and peer pressure and guarding heart -- and not, you know, let no unwholesome words come out of your mouth and be careful what comes before your eyes.\u00a0 Just guarding your heart in that way because purity is precious, and you girls are a princess to the Lord.\u00a0 He loves you all so much, and He's crazy about you, and He wants the best for you, and to know that and realize that and to guard your heart is totally what I would say to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrew:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just learn to listen to the voice of the spirit in the back of your mind and the still, small voice that will tell you not to do something or to do something.\u00a0 A lot of times you can just ignore it and go on about your day, and a lot of little things that could be big in the end are missed out on.\u00a0 Don\u2019t miss opportunities to tell your friends and to influence others about Jesus and take every one that you have in this age group, because life is just too short not to and just encouraging that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow, I don't want to repeat, but I would totally agree with everyone.\u00a0 I would say -- and this is something that I'm learning to do, even now, is just falling in love with the Lord, and I know that sounds -- I don't know -- it may be a little difficult for you guys to really comprehend, but just making Christ your first love and falling in love with Him and just guard your heart and to fill it with His knowledge and His wisdom. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMake good girlfriends, girls and guys have a lot of good, good guy friends, and you know who is good and who is not.\u00a0 You know those that are going to lead you astray, and I would just say have a lot of good same-sex friendships, because those will stay with you through it all.\u00a0 And you'll see, as you grow older, through junior high and on to high school, you'll see those that are taking one path, and you're taking another one, and I would just say just keep doing the right thing and keep going that way, because it will pay off, and you'll not have regrets, and regrets are not good to have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(tape ends)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, that's pretty solid advice from four young teenagers.\u00a0 Do you notice how they went to the Word, and they talked about listening to your parents and guarding your heart and heeding the Voice of the Spirit, paying attention to what your conscience has to say, falling in love with Christ -- I mean -- I sat there pretty impressed with these four young people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And, as a dad, well, I'm reflecting back on watching Rebecca make her statement and think about the process of a young lady growing her faith -- the ups and downs, the emotional moments \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 she was the last one who spoke on the panel, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right, that was Rebecca talking about loving Jesus Christ, and that's what you're wanting your children to catch, and you're wanting them to embrace.\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s not done at a point in time.\u00a0 It's done repeatedly over and over and over again, pointing your children to the Scripture, back to the Savior, and encouraging them to develop that relationship with Him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm really proud of Rebecca as she shared, has had her struggles and her difficulties, and has made some choices that, as she said, she regretted, but she has also made a lot of good choices, and that's what I'd want to encourage parents to just catch here.\u00a0 The battle is never just over in an instant.\u00a0 It is the daily grind.\u00a0 We have to hang in there with our kids and just keep on pointing them to the right person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me ask you -- when Rebecca was 13, 14, 15 -- right in the thick of those teenage years -- did you and Barbara ever pull back and go, \"Do you think we'll ever hear her talk about a passionate love for Christ and guarding her heart and those kinds of things?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, I think we've thought about that with every one of our children -- wondering would they ever really catch the picture of it making our faith their faith because you're really involved in a relay race.\u00a0 We, as parents, have a baton that we are putting in the hands of the next generation, and there comes a point where you have to put the baton in their hand and what do you have to do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You've got to let go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You have to let go of the baton so they can pull it around front, and they begin to run.\u00a0 And they're going to drop the baton, but we need to be there, help them pick it up, put it back in their hands, and cheer them on to keep running the race of life well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And there is a great joy that comes for a parent as they do reach a point where you see them up in front of a group of other people talking about having a passionate love for Christ and about their convictions and the standards they're going to hold to.\u00a0 I know, in the back of the book, <em>So You're About to be a Teenager<\/em>, you challenge preteens to make some commitments at an early age about what they're going to do and what they're not going to do, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We call these \"Twelve Extreme Life Promises.\"\u00a0 The whole concept of extreme, you know, that's this younger generation's word.\u00a0 Us older folks kind of look at that, and we kind of go, \"Extreme Life?\u00a0 I'm not sure about that.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut here are just a couple of them -- number one, \"I will make Jesus both Lord and Savior of my life and serve and love Him joyfully with all my heart, soul, and mind.\"\u00a0 And then it has a place for the child to sign his name or her name and then date that commitment.\u00a0 There's another one in here that says, \"I will honor God by obeying my parents and having a good attitude toward them.\"\u00a0 You'd like to get fingerprints on that one as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm wondering, after they've signed it, then can you pull that out and wave it in front of them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don't think I would, but it might bring some temporary hope that they did it.\u00a0 Here is another one -- \"I will guard my heart and mind by not watching unclean movies or pornography or listening to music with words of violence or sex.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is one -- \"I will honor members of the opposite sex by dressing appropriately and modestly; by not flirting; by not being physically aggressive; and by keeping my sexual desires under control.\"\u00a0 Now, there are some parents thinking, \"Is this too young to challenge my little 11-year-old, 12-year-old, 13-year-old \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 his voice hasn't changed yet, or she still looks like a little girl.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me promise you something -- your 10-year-old, 11-year-old, 12-year-old is ready to consider these Extreme Life Promises.\u00a0 In fact, I'll go further -- I think every young person needs to consider each of these 12 issues before they turn 13.\u00a0 Because the time to confront them is not when someone shoves a beer can in front of their face or a boy is sweet-talking them in a car when they're 16.\u00a0 They have to make up their mind, as Daniel did in the Old Testament, when he decided he would not defile himself by eating the king's food, and he did it in advance before he was faced with the banquet that the king offered him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the promises that you challenge young people to consider is the purity promise, and we've talked before about challenging young people to more than just sexual abstinence but to a standard of moral purity, a higher standard, and it's one that was addressed by your daughter, Rebecca, that night as we talked with her as a part of the panel discussion, and I want our listeners to hear what she shared with the fifth and sixth and seventh graders who were there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And if you have an 11- or 12-year-old, holler at them right now and let them listen to Rebecca now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Say, \"Come here, come and listen to the radio.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(taped discussion)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Boy:<\/strong>\u00a0 What's that piece of paper?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is my purity covenant, and I -- man, this is hard -- the guy that I had been dating for a year, we just broke up this past month, and this was our purity covenant, and this is what we -- we drew this up together, we signed it, we dated it.\u00a0 We didn't have a witness or anything like that, but I gave one to my mom, and I gave one -- he gave one to his parents, and I gave one to my best friend to keep me accountable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is our purity covenant, and the verse at the top says -- it's Romans 12, and it says, \"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God.\u00a0 This is your spiritual act of worship.\u00a0 Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.\u00a0 Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- His good, pleasing, and perfect will.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that is where it starts.\u00a0 Your standards, your boundaries, everything that you're going to draw the line on -- it starts in the Bible.\u00a0 This is where you go if you want to know where the Lord wants you to draw your line -- just read the Bible.\u00a0 It's good to get advice from your parents and your friends and you know people like us, but that is where you draw it.\u00a0 I mean, don't conform to the pattern of this world and offer your bodies as living sacrifices.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, anyway, we came up with four things that we were not going to do.\u00a0 We were going to \"refrain from any form of kissing; we would not lay down together; we would not have any inappropriate touching, especially the face; and we would refrain from spending time alone in the dark.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnyway, we committed to uphold these challenges, and we are motivated out of our love for Christ, our respect for each other, which is huge, and our commitment to purity and holiness.\u00a0 To God, our family, and friends, we promise to keep ourselves pure.\"\u00a0 So that's what we did, and it was really helpful to get it out on paper, because I can look at this, and I am proud of that relationship, and I'm proud of the way that we handled it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(tape ends)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, that is Rebecca Rainey talking about a purity covenant, talking about a commitment not to kiss the guy that she was going out with for months.\u00a0 There are a lot of listeners who are going -- you talk about Extreme Life Promises that sounds like a pretty extreme life promise.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know, in light of the extreme life choices that those in media, movies, and magazines are representing, I think it's about time the other side had its day in court as well, don't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can't disagree with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, some of the other garbage that is being promoted to our young people today -- I think it's good to hear maybe what some may consider to be an ultra-conservative approach.\u00a0 Why not?\u00a0 We've heard the ultra-liberal for years.\u00a0 Let's hear somebody who is talking about playing it safe for a while.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I've also heard you say many times that Christian parents or Christian kids don't have to have this standard as their standard, but they better have a standard, and it ought to be a godly standard, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The question for every parent who is listening to me right now -- what is your standard that you are going to challenge your son, your daughter to as they go through the teenage years.\u00a0 And you know what?\u00a0 Don't give me this baloney that we don't need a standard.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour child, if they are going to go through the teenage years today, they need an older person, a parent, in their lives helping them set a standard, a goal, a number of boundaries around their lives.\u00a0 If they don't, there are going to be all kinds of people stepping into their lives taking advantage of them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and that's really what's at the heart of the book, <em>So You're About to be a Teenager<\/em>, and it is time to get on the offensive early, rather than playing defense in the middle of the teenage years, start with an offensive game plan, get with your kids before the hormones rush in, before the herd starts to drag them off in the opposite direction and say, \"Let's talk about what God wants for you, for your life, during the teenage years.\u00a0 Let's talk about some standards, and let's see if we can't come to some agreement about how you want to live your life and how God wants you to live your life.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This little book, which your preteen can read probably in less than a couple of hours -- this is like a precision tool, like a scalpel, a laser-edged instrument that can get certain truth into the life of your son or your daughter before the hormones hit.\u00a0 This is a good book.\u00a0 It's one that I just want to encourage every parent who has a preteen to give us a call and get a copy and then go to the bank and get a crisp $5 bill or a $10 bill \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 a Lincoln or a Hamilton \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 that's right, whatever would motivate your son or daughter to read this, and pop that bill real carefully -- this is not a new one, though -- just pop it, see if that motivates them a little bit, and just tell them you won't embarrass them with too many questions about the book, but you do want to just interact with them a bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Before they earn the money, you've got to have the interaction, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, absolutely, and you have to make sure they get to that section at the end of the book that talks about those Extreme Life Promises.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s the drill.\u00a0 You go to our web site FamilyLife Today.com and order the book from us online.\u00a0 Or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY to get a copy of the book.\u00a0 Let me just say if you haven\u2019t already taken your son or daughter on a FamilyLife <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> weekend get that kit as well.\u00a0 In fact you ought to do that before you motivate them with the money for the <em>So You're About to be a Teenager<\/em> book.\u00a0 If you took the kids on a <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> weekend last year and you haven\u2019t given them a copy of <em>So You're About to be a Teenager<\/em> now is a time to bring a copy of the book into the house and incentivize them and reinforce the things you talked about on your Passport weekend.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll that you need is online at FamilyLife Today.com.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 When you contact us we can let you know how to receive the resources that you\u2019re looking for.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got a voicemail here at the office the other day from a friend of mine.\u00a0 He was calling to say that he and a group of people had been out doing something together and the radio had been on in the background and <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> had come on and all of a sudden they stopped talking and started listening to what they were hearing on the program.\u00a0 He called and said it was powerful for all of us to hear this particular story.\u00a0 He said just keep up the good work and we wanted to cheer you on and let you know that you are making a difference.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat kind of encouragement is always great to hear.\u00a0 Whether it\u2019s folks like you who drop us an email to let us know you are listening or those of you who add your comments to the end of our daily transcripts.\u00a0\u00a0 We transcribe each day\u2019s program and folks often leave comments about how God has used a program in their life on our web site at FamilyLife Today.com.\u00a0 Your feedback is very much appreciated.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great encouragement for our team.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to say thanks to those of you who are able to support the ministry financially. That\u2019s a great encouragement for us as well.\u00a0 We\u2019re listener supported so all the costs associated with producing and syndicating this program is covered by listeners who make a donation from time to time to support this ministry.\u00a0 We do appreciate your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are able to help with a donation today we\u2019d like to send you as a thank you gift a card that Dennis and Barbara have put together called <em>The Five Essentials for a Thriving Marriage<\/em> card.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis lists the elements of a strong growing marriage relationship and the card is designed to keep these priorities in front of you during the week so you can continue to focus on what needs to be at the center of your marriage and family relationships. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d love to send you <em>The Five Essentials for a Thriving Marriage<\/em> card as our thank you gift when you support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this month with a donation of any amount.\u00a0 If you\u2019re making your donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com type the word \u201cthrive\u201d in the key code box that you find on the online donation form or if you\u2019re calling 1-800-FL-TODAY to make your donation over the phone.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-FL TODAY just mention that you\u2019d like the five essentials card and we\u2019ll send it to you as our way of saying thank you for your support and it\u2019s always an encouragement to us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, have a great weekend.\u00a0 I hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday when Susie Davis is going to be our guest along with her husband Will. Susie has written a book called <em>Loving Your Man Without Losing Your Mind<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about some of the challenges that couples face in a marriage relationship and I hope you can be with us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back on Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301870","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301870"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301870"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301870"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301870"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301870"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301870"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301870"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}