{"id":301869,"date":"2009-07-30T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-07-30T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/dating-part-2\/"},"modified":"2009-07-30T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-07-30T15:00:00","slug":"dating-part-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dating-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating, Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dating is usually considered one of the benefits of being a teenager.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-07-30.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"14.13M","filesize_raw":"14812868","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2855,2870],"tags":[4018,4928,2588],"podcast_series":[7662],"cwp_profile":[3048,9108],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301869","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-teens","category-tweens","tag-dating","tag-high-school","tag-teens","podcast_series-so-youre-about-to-be-a-teenager","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","cwp_profile-various","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301869\/dating-part-2","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301869\/dating-part-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"0Tp7JKmFxb\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dating-part-2\/\">Dating, Part 2<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dating-part-2\/embed\/#?secret=0Tp7JKmFxb\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Dating, Part 2&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"0Tp7JKmFxb\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Dating is usually considered one of the benefits of being a teenager.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-07-30.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dating, or going out, is a big deal in junior high and high school these days.\u00a0 One reason why is because according to teenagers, well, everybody seems to be doing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Girl:<\/strong>\u00a0 I guess it's just like, I mean, everybody is going out; everybody has got a boyfriend; everybody has got a girlfriend.\u00a0 It's, like, okay, all these boys like you, but you're not going out with them.\u00a0 It's, like, why?\u00a0 But it's, like, I know my priorities for dating, and I don't want to do it right now.\u00a0 So I get this peer pressure \u2013 it's just, like, no \u2013 you just have to say no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, July 30<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Has your teenager developed convictions in the area of dating and, as a parent, do you know what your convictions are?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 The whole guy\/girl thing \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 yeah, yeah, what about it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's a \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 it's what?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's a field that is loaded with landmines, isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 You know what I'm saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm telling you, I'll never forget when Samuel finally got noticed by the young ladies at school.\u00a0 I mean, the phone lines lit up.\u00a0 It was like the boy had won the lottery. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They were calling him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, a dozen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, when I was growing up, girls didn't call boys.\u00a0 That's changed, huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh \u2013 when a young man comes of age, and if he's reasonably handsome, there are groups of young ladies who can be quite aggressive.\u00a0 That's an understatement, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And when that happens, all of a sudden, the chemical reaction inside a girl and inside a boy \u2013 well, it can get pretty dicey, and that's one of the reasons this week we're coming to parents and saying, \"Be aware of what's ahead, help your preteen be aware of what's around the corner, and then have a strategy for dealing with these issues in advance of them showing up on the radar screen.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually, the word I would use rather than \"be aware\" is \"understand,\" and there's a biblical word that talks about understanding the times, for they are evil, that is found over in Ephesians, chapter 5 \u2013 being wise about the days.\u00a0 Parents today need to be very, very wise in understanding what's happening with preteens and teenagers.\u00a0 Don't wait until your child is in junior high to address the issues about the opposite sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You and Barbara wrote a book for parents called <em>Parenting Today's Adolescent<\/em>, that was really designed to be read by parents of preteens so that they could develop a biblical game plan for navigating, negotiating, the teenage years.\u00a0 But then, together with your son, Samuel, and your daughter, Rebecca, the four of you wrote a book called, <em>So You're About to be a Teenager<\/em>, that is designed not just for parents but really it's designed for the preteen to read, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is.\u00a0 I hope when you, as a listener, think of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and our ministry here, you think of us as a giant toolbox that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, at its website, FamilyLife Today.com, through our conferences, our radio program, our resources, tapes, CDs, all the things we're producing, we produce for you to help you build your family, to equip you and to assist you in connecting your heart to your spouse's heart; to connect you, as a father or mother, to your child's heart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is no issue today, Bob, any more important than connecting a parent's heart to their preteen before they hit the rapids, the tumultuous waters that can capsize an entire family. We want to give you some tools, and that's why we wrote this book, <em>So You're About to be a Teenager<\/em>, written directly to your 11- or 12-year-old, possibly a 13-year-old or a 10-year-old, but it's designed to help you, as a parent, put a tool in your child's life that's going to help him or her better understand what you are trying to teach him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You've been suggesting all week that in addition to putting the tool in your child's hand, you grease his palm a little bit, you know, you slide across some jack, some change, some money here, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, you referred to this earlier in the week as a bribe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Today you're talking about greasing palms.\u00a0 This sounds like the Mafia.\u00a0 We're actually trying to incentivize \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 yeah, there we go \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 we're trying to motivate, we're trying to put a carrot out in front of our preteen, and I've done this for your son, Jimmy, and I'm about to do it for John.\u00a0 In fact, your kids are costing me a lot of money.\u00a0 But you're actually matching my $5 with $5 of your own and, frankly, folks, I wish, for every single parent listening to our broadcast right now, I could give you the book and $5 to incentivize your child to read this, because I really do believe in the message of this book and the need for a whole generation of young people to be better equipped before they get into the teenage years.\u00a0 You know what? They may read this book, and they may never say another word about it.\u00a0 But the point is, is to get the truth into their hearts and into their minds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 All week we've been listening to an exchange that took place a number of years ago.\u00a0 We gathered together a whole group of preteens.\u00a0 I think there were about 100 of them that were in an auditorium on a particular evening, and we had four young adults \u2013 two young men, two young women \u2013 Grant and Andrew were the young men and Katy and your daughter Rebecca, who at the time was still in college.\u00a0 Now she\u2019s out of college and is married but we had all four of these young people we put them on the hot seat and peppered them with a bunch of questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s listen together to our conversation with these four young teenagers. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(taped interview)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you remember when you first started to notice girls or guys differently than you had when you were in the fourth grade?\u00a0 Do you remember a time when you looked at a girl, guys \u2013 or, ladies, you looked at a guy and went, \"He seems different now.\"\u00a0 Katy, do you remember the first time you started to notice that boys were different than you thought they were?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019d say the pressure to date begins in the sixth grade, but I really didn't notice that they were cute or good-looking or anything like that probably until about ninth grade \u2013 I'm going to cringe.\u00a0 But, really, like, I never really \u2013 I mean, I didn't walk around, \"Oh, he's so cute,\" you know?\u00a0 I didn't just pine away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But it was about sixth grade that you wished a boy would like you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, I think it was the idea that was fun.\u00a0 It really wasn't the guy but, yeah, I dated a boy in sixth grade \u2013 or I went out, I guess.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, well, now tell me about this?\u00a0 You went out with a boy \u2013 it wasn't Grant was it?\u00a0 It wasn't Grant that you \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 no, it wasn't Grant, no.\u00a0 It was a boy in sixth grade and, well, let's see, I think it started in fifth grade.\u00a0 We kind of liked each other because we were in the same Sunday school class.\u00a0 We didn't go to elementary school together.\u00a0 He went to a different school, and then \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 so you would see each other every Sunday at church?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 We'd see each other at church, and it was just a fun, like, \"Oh, hi.\u00a0 He thinks I\u2019m cute, I think he's cute.\"\u00a0 But, you know, that was about it.\u00a0 I mean, it wasn't like \u2013 we'd write notes every once in a while, and that was fun.\u00a0 And he got me something for Valentine's Day one year, and it was fun.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did he call you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 He called, like, twice, I think.\u00a0 We didn't talk on the phone very much.\u00a0 It wasn't a very \u2013 it wasn't like we sat down, and we're, like, \"Okay, we're together now.\"\u00a0 You know, we just knew we liked each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And how did it end?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think \u2013 yeah, I remember it ending.\u00a0 It was hard.\u00a0 I think he called me and was, like, you know, I don't think we should go out anymore or whatever, I don't know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He got his training from Grant, huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, \"I don't like you anymore.\"\u00a0 I don't know, we just kind of ended it, and it really wasn't a huge deal, but I remember I saw him in seventh grade, because he ended up coming to my junior high, and I started wearing glasses that year.\u00a0 He called them bifocals, and they were not bifocals, but it was horrible.\u00a0 He totally made fun of me, and I hated wearing my glasses after that point.\u00a0 You boys can be so cruel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When he called you to break up with you, did you cry?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You just kind of got off the phone and well, that's over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think I was sad, because it wasn't, like, the talk of the sixth grade.\u00a0 It wasn't, like, a huge deal.\u00a0 It wasn't a big heartbreaker for me.\u00a0 Those came later.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If a guy says he likes you, and then he comes back and says, \"Now I don't like you,\" doesn't it make you feel like something must have gone wrong with you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, I would feel that.\u00a0 I don't remember what he said when he broke up with me.\u00a0 I don't think he was, like, \"I don't like you anymore.\"\u00a0 I didn't feel like he just thought I was ugly or something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And your parents let you do this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, they didn't know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, your parents had no idea?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because it wasn't \u2013 we hadn't talked about that yet.\u00a0 I don't think we even talked about dating yet at that point \u2013 going out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you remember \u2013 do you know any of this?\u00a0 Is this all news to you tonight to learn about your daughter and this boy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dad:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn't know she had a steady guy back then, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, well, I told Mom.\u00a0 Mom knows.\u00a0 If you tell Mom \u2013 I'm just kidding.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How many of you out here under the age of 14 feel the pressure to go out?\u00a0 Hold your hands up.\u00a0 Be honest, come on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you feel like you're not cool if you don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?\u00a0 Is that what it feels like?\u00a0 Or does it just feel like it would be fun to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?\u00a0 There was probably half the room that raised their room and said they feel a pressure.\u00a0 Does anybody want to talk \u2013 what does it feel like?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Girl:<\/strong>\u00a0 I guess it's just, like, I mean, everybody is going out, everybody has got a boyfriend, and everybody has got a girlfriend.\u00a0 It's, like, okay all these boys like you, but you're not going out with them.\u00a0 It's, like, why?\u00a0 But if I know my priorities for dating, and I don't want to do it right now.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I guess it's more peer pressure.\u00a0 It's just, like, no.\u00a0 You just have to say no.\u00a0 If someone comes up to you and asks you, \"Do you want to go out?\"\u00a0 It's just kind of like you might like them but you want to stand strong and stand firm for what your priorities are.\u00a0 That's how I feel with it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You sound like you've made up your mind about some things.\u00a0 What are your priorities when it comes to going out or guys or dating or that kind of stuff?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Girl:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I guess now \u2013 I mean, I'm only going in seventh grade, and it's just, like, going out right now is not going to affect me probably later in life.\u00a0 Like, they all said they probably broke up a couple of months later or a year later, and then they never talked, really, or anything like that.\u00a0 It's, like, that didn't affect them later in life.\u00a0 So why do it now, when it's not going to affect you later in life or something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think the key thing she is really highlighting is that she made up her mind in advance what she was going to do before she faced the issue, and she's becoming a young lady who has convictions.\u00a0\u00a0 As you face temptations with the opposite sex, if you don't know where you stand, you're going to blow like a feather in the wind.\u00a0 What about you, Andrew?\u00a0 You haven't weighed in on the opposite sex.\u00a0 Did you go out when you were in the sixth grade?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrew:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it was seventh grade when I had my first girlfriend, and I met her at the mall, of all places.\u00a0 I was working at Chick-fil-A, and I was working the register, and she came up and got to talking, and we just started calling each other, and \u2026<br><\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 you met at Chick-fil-A?\u00a0 Did she say, \"I'd like a chicken sandwich and here is my phone number\" or what?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrew:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's how it went.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\u00a0 She gave you her phone number and said, \"Call me.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrew:<\/strong>\u00a0 She got her chicken, and then she walked around with a napkin and wrote her number on it and came back later.\u00a0 And so \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 and so that struck up a great relationship that \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrew:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 an awkward relationship, if anything.\u00a0 Our parents took us around to go out, and they took us on all our dates.\u00a0 We were pretty much silent the whole time.\u00a0 We'd just sit there, and we'd watch a movie or something, but \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2026 like, with your parents in the movie theater with you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrew:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, they'd drop us off and wait outside or go shop.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So in the seventh grade you're with a girl who gave you her phone number at Chick-fil-A watching movies, and your parents aren't there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrew:<\/strong>\u00a0 My parents aren't there, but nothing's happening.\u00a0 So it doesn't matter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did it end?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrew:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was only, like, three months long, and she called one day, and she was, like, how's the relationship going?\u00a0 How do you feel?\u00a0 And I just said, \"I don't think it's going anywhere.\u00a0 It's pretty pointless, and we should break it off, really.\"\u00a0 And she asked if we could still be friends, and we were, like, \"Yeah\", we agreed to be friends, and it ended up that we never talked again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Isn't it hard to still be friends after you break up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrew:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, definitely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Katy, were you nodding your head there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I remember my first boyfriend, and there was a lot of pressure to go out with him.\u00a0 Like, everybody was kind of in on it.\u00a0 Like, \"He likes you,\" \"you need to like him,\" \"everybody has a boyfriend,\" \"you need to have a boyfriend.\"\u00a0 It only lasted a couple of days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think one of the things \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rebecca:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, a couple of days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 There's just that pressure to have a boyfriend just to say you did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It seems like one of the issues here \u2013 it's not about who the girl is or who the guy is, it's just about having a girl or a guy as long as it's somebody.\u00a0 Am I hearing that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Katy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or was it \u2013 I mean \u2013 they have to meet certain minimum basic requirements \u2013 they can't be really ugly or can't be four years younger than you or something like that, but you want \u2013 if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, are you cooler in the seventh grade than if you don't?\u00a0 The panel is quietly nodding their heads.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Andrew:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you had it to do all over again, when would you start dating?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grant:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 I'd probably say hold off \u2013 probably in college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now wait, you're about to be a freshman in college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grant:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you follow this advice and hold off?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grant:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I didn't.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So why are you recommending it, if you've just come out of high school, and you're saying, \"This is not what I did, but it's what I'd recommend to you.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Grant:<\/strong>\u00a0 You're putting yourself at a great risk for a minimum amount of pleasure when you date.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(end of interview)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We've been listening to a conversation with a panel of young adults about life in the teenage years.\u00a0 I think my buddy Grant, there, is still working on his convictions a little bit, don't you think?\u00a0 Do you know what I mean?\u00a0 Still trying to get a handle around exactly where he wants things to land.\u00a0 But isn't that what the teenage years are all about?\u00a0 You wrestle with the temptations of today and the convictions of your heart, and sometimes those will pull you right apart as a teenager.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They will, and that's why you, as a parent, have to have your own game plan for training your child, guiding your child, and ongoing involvement as they approach the issue of the teenage years and dating.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen the second thing you, as a parent, need is you need to know what your rules and boundaries are in advance of the issue.\u00a0 If you don't know what age you're going to let them date, then I promise you, they're going to pester you into lowering that age to an unacceptable age.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And can I say something right here?\u00a0 I have observed some parents who are maybe even more enthusiastic about their children beginning the dating process than the kids are.\u00a0 Parents who, when the kids are 13 and 14 are trying to pair them up and trying to get them together as couples and encouraging them to date.\u00a0 I tell you, I look at those scenarios, and I think do those parents know what they're doing?\u00a0 They're putting too highly flammable substances in the same place and plugging in the plug, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about it.\u00a0 It's not only when they date, but whom should they date, the caliber of person, don't be ashamed to step in there and say, \"There's no daughter of mine going out with a guy like that.\u00a0 I mean, if he doesn't have his pants pulled on properly and dressed reasonably, he's not going out with my daughter.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou need to decide what the acceptable kinds of dates are \u2013 double dates, single dates, when are you going to allow that to happen?\u00a0 Telephone use \u2013 I think there has to be a limit on the amount of telephone use; internet use with the opposite sex.\u00a0 Here's where you could use a good software package to help you find out what's being communicated between your teenager and teenagers of the opposite sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You think that's okay, huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I guarantee you, I think it's okay.\u00a0 Now, the reason you do all these things is you're involved in your young person's life to teach them not only about the responsibility that they have in terms of dating and being honorable in that relationship.\u00a0 But also that it's a process from which they're selecting a spouse for a lifetime, and they need to begin to understand what it is they need to look for, and there's three decisions in life that are life-determinative.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one \u2013 master \u2013 who is going to be your master?\u00a0 Is Jesus Christ going to be your master or is self going to be your master.\u00a0 Secondly \u2013 mate \u2013 your spouse is, I think, humanly speaking, the most important decision you make outside your relationship with Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, third, your mission, and your spouse has a great impact on what your mission in life is and what you're going to do as a person.\u00a0 As parents, we're equipping our young people to make all three of those decisions as wisely as they possibly can.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We've been encouraging our listeners this week to get a copy of the book, <em>So You're About to be a Teenag<\/em>er, and to encourage your young person to read through this book and to begin to connect as parent and child around these issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What we're talking about there is giving your child $5 or $10 or a trip to their favorite restaurant as a reward for going through this book and, at the end of the book, signing each of the 12 commitments that are at the end of the book.\u00a0 There are 12 life choices at the end of this book that every preteen needs to grapple with before they turn 13.\u00a0 If they make the decision of what they're going to do in advance of these issues, I promise you, the teenage years will be much easier.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We ought to mention that this book was put together to be used in conjunction with the <em>Passport to Purity <\/em>resource that so many of our listeners in fact we\u2019ve had tens of thousands who have gotten this resource and used it with a preteen son or daughter. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou get away for a weekend and you listen to these CDs with Dennis and Barbara and you\u2019ve got some projects you do together.\u00a0 You can begin to tackle the issues that we\u2019ve talked about this week so that as a parent you can begin to open the door to some of these issues and have a heart to heart conversation with your preteen son or daughter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have information about both the book, <em>So You're About to be a Teenager <\/em>and the <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> resource on our web site FamilyLife Today.com.\u00a0 You can go online to find out more or to order any of these resources if you\u2019d like.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You can also read comments from a lot of parents who have used <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> and hear what their kids had to say about the weekend away with mom or dad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain our web site is FamilyLife Today.com.\u00a0\u00a0 You can also call us for more information at 1-800-FL TODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 When you get in touch with us someone on the team will let you know more about how you can have the resources you\u2019re looking for sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mentioned the comments that we heard from parents and from preteens who have been on a <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> weekend.\u00a0 We\u2019re always encouraged when we get feedback from <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners or folks who have been to our events about how God uses these resources in their marriage or in their family as parents connect with their teens and try to help guide and shape the direction of their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt FamilyLife we exist to provide practical, biblical help for marriages and for families.\u00a0 Our desire is to see every home become a godly home.\u00a0 We are doing all we can to equip moms and dads and husbands and wives with the biblical tools needed to make marriage and family be all that God intends for it to be.\u00a0 You know what we could not do that without folks like you.\u00a0 Folks who pass the word and tell them about <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and invite to tune in and pass along a resource you get from us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSpread the word about what\u2019s going on here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and those of you who help support the ministry financially.\u00a0 We are listener supported and we could not be on this station throughout the year if it were not for folks like you providing financial support to help us pay the bills.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate your partnership with us in past months.\u00a0 If you are able to make a donation this month we\u2019d like to say thank you by sending you <em>The Five Essentials for a Thriving Marriage<\/em> card that our team has put together.\u00a0 This is a card that we\u2019ve designed to help couples keep the essentials out in front of you.\u00a0 If you\u2019re not working on building a stronger marriage and focused on the five areas that Dennis and Barbara have identified here you will experience the inevitable drift toward isolation that happens in most relationships.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>The Five Essentials for a Thriving Marriage<\/em> card is our gift to you this month if you\u2019re able to help with a donation of any amount to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com and when you do that as you\u2019re filling out the donation form there\u2019s a key code box just type the word \u201cthrive\u201d in the box and we\u2019ll send it to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr simply call 1-800-FL TODAY and just mention that you\u2019d like the five essentials card and we\u2019ll send it to you as our way of saying thank you for your support and it\u2019s always an encouragement to us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow tomorrow we want to invite you back as we ask our panel of older teens for the best advice they have for the 100 younger teens in the audience on that particular evening.\u00a0 I hope you can be back for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301869","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301869"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301869"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301869"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301869"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301869"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301869"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301869"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}