{"id":301863,"date":"2009-07-17T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-07-17T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/help-is-on-the-way\/"},"modified":"2009-07-17T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-07-17T15:00:00","slug":"help-is-on-the-way","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/help-is-on-the-way\/","title":{"rendered":"Help is on the Way"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your teen is in crisis.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-07-17.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"12.57M","filesize_raw":"13183851","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2855],"tags":[4705,4988,4928,2588],"podcast_series":[7660],"cwp_profile":[9171,9170],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301863","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-teens","tag-college","tag-graduation","tag-high-school","tag-teens","podcast_series-finding-help-for-your-troubled-teen","cwp_profile-george-and-livia-dunklin","cwp_profile-mark-gregston","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301863\/help-is-on-the-way","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301863\/help-is-on-the-way","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"6BcJePZRtQ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/help-is-on-the-way\/\">Help is on the Way<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/help-is-on-the-way\/embed\/#?secret=6BcJePZRtQ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Help is on the Way&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"6BcJePZRtQ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Your teen is in crisis.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-07-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>George:<\/strong>\u00a0 Those first three or four days when you\u2019re back home and Megan is not in the house there\u2019s no turmoil and no anger but there\u2019s no Megan.\u00a0 There\u2019s no daughter.\u00a0 That\u2019s tough.\u00a0 There is no question about it.\u00a0 You do question the decision.\u00a0 Is this the right thing?\u00a0 You\u2019ve left her four and a half hours away with people you barely know in a situation where you know your daughter knows no one there and she had no idea it was going to happen.\u00a0 That\u2019s just hard.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, July 17<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Sometimes as parents we have to make hard choices to get the very real help our sons or our daughters need.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We have been unpacking this week a story Dennis.\u00a0 It is one of those moments in a family\u2019s life when a mom and a dad have to make a tough call and it takes courage to make the tough call.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been hearing about a young girl, Megan, who was acting out at home with outbursts of anger that were threatening to others in the family.\u00a0 It came to a point where her parents felt that they finally had to remove her from the home and get help for her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She was 16 years old and a tenth grader.\u00a0 As we\u2019ve been talking about here this demands a lot of courage.\u00a0 Megan is the daughter of George and Livia Dunklin.\u00a0 George and Livia welcome back to the broadcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>George and Livia:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They have three daughters and live in DeWitt, Arkansas. They do a little rice farming out on what\u2019s called the grand prairie of Arkansas.\u00a0 Folks who have never been there don\u2019t know what I\u2019m talking about but those who do think it\u2019s one of the most beautiful spots on the planet.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMark Gregston doesn\u2019t think it\u2019s one of the prettiest places because he\u2019s from east Texas.\u00a0 He likes pine trees.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe likes mosquitoes smaller than birds.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark Gregston:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0 Mark is the head of Heart Light Ministries and he lives near Longview, Texas.\u00a0\u00a0 He\u2019s been in ministry for over 30 years and has two grown children.\u00a0 He and his wife Jan have been in ministry working with teenagers all those years and they\u2019d have the privilege of working with Megan when she came.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to begin with you Mark.\u00a0 Share that day when George brought his daughter to your place.\u00a0 Do you remember it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark<\/strong>:\u00a0 I do remember it because I didn\u2019t think they would show up.\u00a0 So when they came I was excited and when we sat there and talked I would look at George and his first comment to me was \u201cHey Mark, just tell me there is hope.\u201d\u00a0 I looked at him and said, there is hope.\u00a0 You can get on the other side of this stuff.\u00a0 It may not look like what you think it\u2019s going to look like but it is going to be a little bit different.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 George you were hopeless at that point.\u00a0 You\u2019d experienced enough pain in your family with Megan as you were driving down there this really represented a last ditch effort.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>George<\/strong>:\u00a0 Without a doubt.\u00a0 I knew we need help.\u00a0 Livia and I as parents needed help.\u00a0 We had done everything that we knew for Megan and we didn\u2019t know where to go.\u00a0\u00a0 Steve Largent is a good friend of ours and Steve had duck hunted with us.\u00a0 Steve had watched our children grow up and the year before when Steve was there during Christmas time hunting with us I asked him to spend some time with Megan.\u00a0 He did.\u00a0 And he told us we needed help.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe gave us the name of a friend.\u00a0 As the Lord works in mysterious ways Mark Gregston was that friend.\u00a0 He just knew that was the calling we were looking for.\u00a0 That was the hope that I needed to know that there was help on the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was Megan without hope?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>George<\/strong>: Yes, I think at that point and time.\u00a0 Megan was so lost she just didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She was confused.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>George:<\/strong>\u00a0 Totally confused.\u00a0 I think that is where a lot of the anger issues came from was the confusion.\u00a0 Megan loves us and her sisters more than anything in the world.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that she didn\u2019t love us.\u00a0 It\u2019s just that she didn\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know what made her happy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mark, here is Megan.\u00a0 January of her sophomore year and she\u2019s on a road trip with dad and she thinks she\u2019s coming home that same day.\u00a0 What was about to happen was that she was about to move in.\u00a0 Did you have any idea how long she would be there?\u00a0 Were George and Livia going to be able to see her?\u00a0 What were they headed for?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes, we knew at that time that is was going to be difficult.\u00a0 Whenever somebody brings a child that doesn\u2019t know they are going to be with us it makes it more difficult.\u00a0 You have to get a picture of what Megan must have been going through for her to not fit in with the people she has longed to fit in with.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t have the ability to engage in the way she wanted to.\u00a0 Now the only thing that she knows is mom and dad have made a decision to eliminate her from the family\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 To abandon her in one sense.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark<\/strong>:\u00a0 It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s what it feels like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I think that\u2019s where her heart was so of course you\u2019re going to get a response out of that.\u00a0 For a child to actually live that is so difficult and they can\u2019t believe it because mom and dad become the last bastion of hope and they feel like now I\u2019ve really been rejected.\u00a0 Not only am I rejected by everybody else in my life but now my family, too.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt sounds terrible.\u00a0 It is hard.\u00a0 It is difficult.\u00a0 I don\u2019t like being there when anybody\u2019s dropped off and I don\u2019t like being there when kids leave and go back home because it tears me up because of the connection that has been made.\u00a0 The exciting thing is that sometimes you have to get to the very bottom for a child to realize that there has got to be some changes in your life.\u00a0 Or the way that you\u2019re thinking is not working.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet\u2019s change some thinking in the way that you engage with people and learn some things through things like meetings, and counseling and groups of kids living together.\u00a0\u00a0 A different way of looking at Scripture that applies it to their life so that they can go okay now I get it.\u00a0 Most of these kids feel like God has abandoned them as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost of them have been raised in Christian homes with great parents like George and Livia but they feel like if God is so good why in the world am I so miserable?\u00a0 If God is so good why can I not engage with any other of His creatures?\u00a0 Why am I beginning to hate myself?\u00a0 How could God ever love me?\u00a0 It is helping them take what they have been taught and repositioning that within their life so that they can start thinking in a different way and may look at things in a different way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Livia and George I want you to both comment on this because a couple of times in Mark\u2019s comments there he mentioned that the child feels rejected and abandoned.\u00a0 Actually what you did for Megan was the most loving, compassionate, and courageous kind of tough love I think a human being can show for another person.\u00a0 Comment on that because I know that both of you had to experience counting the cost of doing that. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Livia:<\/strong>\u00a0 Probably that was the hardest part but it\u2019s interesting once we got working towards that other side and Megan saw she could make different strides and make different accomplishments through the things she was challenged with at Heart Light then she began to realize that without that guidance from them and us putting her in that position to receive that guidance she probably wouldn\u2019t have made those strides any other way.\u00a0 So Mark is right.\u00a0 Unfortunately she had to get to the bottom to realize anything she was going to do in a positive way only made her stronger and better.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>George:<\/strong>\u00a0 No question.\u00a0 It was not easy.\u00a0 Those first three or four days when you\u2019re back home and Megan is not in the house there\u2019s no turmoil.\u00a0 There\u2019s no anger but there is no Megan.\u00a0 There\u2019s no daughter.\u00a0 That\u2019s tough.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you ever question the decision?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>George:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is no question about it.\u00a0 You do question the decision.\u00a0 Is this the right thing?\u00a0 You\u2019ve left her four and a half hours away with people you barely know in a situation where you know your daughter knows no one there and she had no idea it was going to happen.\u00a0 That\u2019s just hard.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Share about the first time you communicated with her.\u00a0 That\u2019s a big deal.\u00a0 That\u2019s the voice on the other end and undoubtedly there was some indication of whether you\u2019d made the right choice or not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>George:<\/strong>\u00a0 At Heart Light part of the program is that you have 30 minutes a week to talk to your child.\u00a0 The first time we called Megan was extremely angry with us and very confused and she took it out on us on the telephone.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think we even made it the full 30 minutes because the anger was so strong.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIronically Mark has three parent retreats and the first one was due within a few days of that first phone call.\u00a0 So we got down there for the parent retreat with all the other parents that were there and I\u2019ll never forget it.\u00a0 One of Mark\u2019s counselors came and said, \u201cLivia and George about 9:00 all the kids from the South house where Megan was living are going to come over except for Megan.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019d driven four hours\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>George:<\/strong>\u00a0 It took about four or five hours to get there for the two day and three night retreat.\u00a0 She said, \u201cWe monitored the phone call and heard Megan\u2019s side of the phone call and Megan has only been here 10 days but we need to establish the rules today.\u00a0 Megan knows you are here just 200 yards away.\u00a0 She knows you are here but if we allow her to come over we are sending the wrong message.\u201d\u00a0 That was tough.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You didn\u2019t see her at that retreat then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>George<\/strong>:\u00a0 We didn\u2019t see her.\u00a0 She was 200 yards away from us that weekend.\u00a0 The next week we made the phone call and I\u2019ll never forget it.\u00a0 I said, \u201cLivia get ready.\u00a0 Get mentally prepared that we\u2019re going to have this anger again and we have to just go through it.\u00a0 Mark talked about that at the retreat.\u00a0\u00a0 We went through all this and kind of described it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe made that phone call and it was like another child.\u00a0 She was so excited to talk to us.\u00a0 It was unbelievable.\u00a0 That was really the first indication that we knew we\u2019d made the right decision.\u00a0 That was the confirmation that we were looking for.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There would be a part of me hearing that second phone call I\u2019d be thinking, let\u2019s see a week ago she was angry.\u00a0 This week she is all sweet.\u00a0 We\u2019re being played here.\u00a0 She\u2019s just trying to figure out what\u2019s going to work to get her sprung from this place she doesn\u2019t want to be. Mark, kids play those games don\u2019t they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mark\u2019s laughing.\u00a0 He\u2019s seen it played a few times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes, they all do.\u00a0 Parents always say you\u2019ve got to realize that my son is a con artist.\u00a0 Or they say my daughter is a manipulator.\u00a0 And I think, really?\u00a0 (laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what they begin to do is the first sign when they kick into the conning or the manipulation and try to get out of stuff.\u00a0 What it\u2019s saying to them is the old way of doing things isn\u2019t going to work anymore so things are going to change.\u00a0 What they are doing is just going to plan B.\u00a0 When that doesn\u2019t work they go to plan C.\u00a0 They will keep going down those plans until they finally run out.\u00a0 When they are deplete of options\u2026 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Nothing I know works.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 So then they feel like they are hopeless and that\u2019s when they will start asking questions.\u00a0 How do I do this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would think there would be some parents who would get that second phone call where she is sweet and they would think this is wonderful.\u00a0 You have fixed her.\u00a0 Can we come and pick her up now?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s come get her.\u00a0 A lot of people do that.\u00a0 And I say you don\u2019t want to do that.\u00a0 Behavior isn\u2019t the issue that gets somebody there.\u00a0 The change of behavior is not the issue that brings them back home.\u00a0 It\u2019s looking at the heart over a period of time to make sure they are making good decisions that are moving them in a positive direction on their own without us putting parameters around them all the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 How long was Megan at Heart Light?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>George<\/strong>:\u00a0 She was there two years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was it a roller coaster?\u00a0 Two years is a long time.\u00a0 I thought this second phone call sounded like we had everything worked out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, if you look at behavior but that\u2019s not the issue.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Is that typical?\u00a0 Two years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No.\u00a0 It\u2019s not.\u00a0 It\u2019s usually 9-12 months.\u00a0 We felt like Megan needed more time to just engage and it was such a positive thing that we didn\u2019t want her to come back home and lose the growth that she had gone through.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think Megan was making some of the decisions as well because the environment there became a very safe place for her.\u00a0 She loved it.\u00a0 God used a 20 year old horse in her life and that\u2019s a whole other program and story but it was absolutely amazing.\u00a0 One of God\u2019s little creatures changed her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that became a very safe place where she enjoyed going home more and they guys were there coming to see us.\u00a0 It worked.\u00a0 For a child to move to a point and say I\u2019m away from home and I don\u2019t like being away from home but I see light and hope and goodness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI see something in me I\u2019ve never seen.\u00a0 I\u2019m loved and I\u2019m feeling these things.\u00a0 For her to choose to be there was and is a miracle.\u00a0 It became something in her that she was longing for rather than her being controlled by everybody else. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 George do you remember she came back home and encountered her sisters?\u00a0 Did that feel like a safe confrontation at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>George<\/strong>:\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 It was May of that year when they have a five day break.\u00a0 We picked Megan up and brought her home.\u00a0 It all went well.\u00a0 Livia and I really felt good when I got back in the car to drive her back and she got back in there with me.\u00a0 She was ready to go back.\u00a0 She was ready to go back and see the 20 year old horse whose name is Rocky.\u00a0 Rocky did have a tremendous impact on Megan.\u00a0 She was responsible for feeding that horse.\u00a0 It gave her so much self worth that is really made a difference.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How many years ago was this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>George:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was just a year ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you\u2019ve now seen the one year post Heart Light Megan.\u00a0 How is she different than she was when you took her and dropped her off at Heart Light?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Livia<\/strong>:\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell it to you this way.\u00a0 I would worry every day how she was doing before and she\u2019s doing great.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have to worry about the phone calls or worry what could happen.\u00a0 Decisions she\u2019s making now and seeing how she has grown up I look forward to every phone call instead of being afraid for the phone to ring.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you ever see flashes of the old anger break through?<br><br><strong>Livia<\/strong>:\u00a0 No.\u00a0 In fact it was interesting because we were talking about not being able to see her that first time just a few weeks ago.\u00a0 I told her the main reason we couldn\u2019t see you was they said you\u2019d been there 10 days if we were to see you you\u2019d start way back maybe even prior to the 10 days.\u00a0 She admitted it and said I probably would have.\u00a0 She said I can\u2019t believe some of the things and how I used to act.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe level of maturity and how to handle certain situations is so different.\u00a0 Now when her sisters have a problem or an issue she goes back to things that she\u2019s learned at Heart Light to talk them through it.\u00a0 She\u2019s gotten very close to them.\u00a0 A lot of times she\u2019ll call them without talking to either one of us.\u00a0 She\u2019ll ask about things that have gone on in their lives and school and she always has some words of encouragement or advice that is real neat to see.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mark I\u2019m sure there are some students who graduate from Heart Light who head back home and everything is fine for a while and\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark<\/strong>:\u00a0 And they don\u2019t do well.\u00a0 We had a young man commit suicide that was with us two or three months ago and it\u2019s been our first.\u00a0 I think if mom and dad don\u2019t make changes back at home and that\u2019s not necessarily the issue with this one young man but he just had a tough time coming back to an old environment and fitting back in.\u00a0 He got involved in some other stuff and made a poor decision.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe spend a lot of time working with mom and dad.\u00a0 We go back to old high school reunions and we go back to be the same old person and go back and hang around the same old people and we assume the same roles.\u00a0 What makes us think our kids won\u2019t do the same?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe work with mom and dad and help them change the environment.\u00a0 They gain a deeper understanding of their child and perhaps what they are going through.\u00a0 When the child does go back home they can operate differently.\u00a0 Quite honestly one of the biggest challenges is not the kid it\u2019s the parents.\u00a0 It is very hard to get parents to change their ways because they have built a life around them that accommodates how they live and how they want to live.\u00a0\u00a0 To get them to shift to something different becomes somewhat difficult.\u00a0 That\u2019s where I spend most of my time.\u00a0 My mustache is white because of Megan and those kind of things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI spend more of my time working with mom and dad to help them understand why things need to change.\u00a0 The tendency is to send the kid off and get them fixed and then we\u2019ll send them back home.\u00a0 Well, nobody is fixed this side of heaven.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Moms and dads have to stretch a little bit as well don\u2019t they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark<\/strong>:\u00a0 They do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Regardless of where our children are we never need to forget that as parents we are in process.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark<\/strong>:\u00a0 We are always in process.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We are always in process and my children have taught me a lot about myself and my need to continue to grow and maintain a teachable spirit and never fail to admit when I\u2019ve made a mistake.\u00a0 Ask for their forgiveness.\u00a0 The process of parenting is one of the greatest risks.\u00a0 I think earlier Bob as we were rolling into these broadcasts you mentioned parenting being like an Olympic sport with there being a level of difficulty.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know of anything that has challenged me maybe with the exception of marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut raising children where you nurture them and ultimately pull back on the bow string and let go.\u00a0 Truly let go.\u00a0 It is one of the more challenging assignments God ever gives a human being on the planet.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to say thanks to you George, Livia, and Mark for being on the broadcast and allowing us to peel back your hearts and to hear of God\u2019s work.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great story.\u00a0 Thanks for sharing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>George:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for giving us an opportunity.\u00a0 We hope this makes a difference to other parents that are in the same situation that we were in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think what you\u2019ve shared has provided a lot of hope and encouragement for the parents who have been listening.\u00a0 As you said Dennis one of the hardest assignments we face is parents is when a teenager is struggling and we\u2019re trying to figure out what we can do.\u00a0 Sometimes there is nothing we can do and we need help.\u00a0 We need hope.\u00a0 We need to wisdom of others to come alongside us and help us through the parenting challenge.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the resources we want to provide for families is the book that Mark has written called \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>When Your Teen is Struggling<\/em>.\u00a0 One of the things I like about the book, Mark, is that it helps parents determine what\u2019s really going on it the heart of your child and how to look beyond a teen\u2019s behavior and see what\u2019s really going on in that child\u2019s heart to reach the heart of your child.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain it\u2019s a tough assignment for parents but you\u2019re book is a great resource in that regard.\u00a0 We have it in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center.\u00a0 You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 There is information about Mark\u2019s book <em>When Your Teen is Struggling<\/em>.\u00a0 Or call toll free 1-800-FL-Today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo either go online at FamilyLife Today.com or call 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 Either way we can make arrangements to have a copy of Mark\u2019s book <em>When Your Teen is Struggling<\/em> sent out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so grateful to those of you who not only listen to this program each day but we also love it when we hear from listeners who share with us how God is using <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in their marriage, in their family and in their personal lives.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFolks write in and share about attending one of our Weekend to Remember marriage conferences or about something they saw on our web site FamilyLife Today.com or about this radio program and how God has used it.\u00a0 We love hearing from you.\u00a0 In fact you can drop us an email.\u00a0 Go to the web site FamilyLife Today.com and the information about sending us an email can be found there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI also want to say thanks to those of you who help support this ministry with your financial gifts.\u00a0 It is your financial support that keeps us on this station and on other stations all across the country and we do appreciate that support. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month for a donation of any amount we\u2019d love to send you <em>The Five Essentials for a Thriving Marriage<\/em> card to keep in a book or in your Bible or to keep with you so that you can stay focused on your marriage relationship.\u00a0 If you are making a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com when you come to the key code box on the donation form, type the word \u201cThrive\u201d into the box and we\u2019ll know to send you The Five Essentials card.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr call 1-800-FL-Today, 1-800-358-6329, that\u2019s 1-800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word today.\u00a0 You can make your donation over the phone and say, \u201cI\u2019d like that Five Essentials card.\u201d\u00a0 Again we are happy to send it out to you.\u00a0 We do appreciate your partnership with us and your support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 We hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend and we hope you can join us back on Monday when we\u2019re going to talk about your marriage and your money.\u00a0 Ron Blue will be with us to help us understand how to better navigate the financial challenges we face in marriage and how to do that together.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our host Dennis Rainey I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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