{"id":301859,"date":"2009-07-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-07-13T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/praying-for-a-prince\/"},"modified":"2009-07-13T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-07-13T15:00:00","slug":"praying-for-a-prince","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-for-a-prince\/","title":{"rendered":"Praying for a Prince"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you a Christian with an unbelieving spouse?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-07-13.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"12.62M","filesize_raw":"13231477","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2806,2861],"tags":[4798,2209],"podcast_series":[7659],"cwp_profile":[9169],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301859","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spiritual-development","category-spiritually-mismatched","tag-kids","tag-parenting","podcast_series-spiritually-single-moms","cwp_profile-nancy-meyer","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301859\/praying-for-a-prince","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301859\/praying-for-a-prince","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"9t1234rSlG\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-for-a-prince\/\">Praying for a Prince<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/praying-for-a-prince\/embed\/#?secret=9t1234rSlG\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Praying for a Prince&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"9t1234rSlG\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Are you a Christian with an unbelieving spouse?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-07-13.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy Meyer:<\/strong>\u00a0 Looking back I realized that I probably felt like a shell, completely empty inside and felt like that for quite awhile several years later when I look back at that day and the next few weeks and months, I realized that I was going through the grief process because I had lost that spiritual oneness with my husband, didn\u2019t know if I would get it back or when or if I live there now as well with that knowledge that I can\u2019t make a decision for Rich regarding God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, July 13th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife Dennis Rainey and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 How do you adjust when you find yourself in marriage all of a sudden spiritually single?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> thanks for joining us on the Monday edition.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019re going to be talking today about one of the very difficult dilemmas that some people face in a marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 A lot of our listeners find themselves in circumstances that are challenging, they are challenging every day and our guest has faced challenging circumstances for more than 20 years.\u00a0 Nancy Meyer joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Nancy, welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks so much, Dennis, it\u2019s great to be with you and Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Nancy is a writer, she is a recording artist, and in fact is there anything you don\u2019t do?\u00a0 (laughter).\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Do you do windows?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t do laundry (more laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, really, well you have one daughter and you live in a very beautiful section of the country, eastern Pennsylvania, Lancaster.\u00a0 What a beautiful\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 you said that right...too\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Whooo\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve been there; I mean it\u2019s a beautiful spot, if you haven\u2019t visited that area of Pennsylvania.\u00a0 I could live there; I mean it really is beautiful.\u00a0 Nancy, as you speak to women, you begin sometimes, by telling or actually, reading a fairy tale.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do, it\u2019s called the true story of Princess Nancy and Prince Richard.\u00a0 Once upon a time, a common girl was born into a common family, but her parents called her their little princess. And she went to Bible College hoping to meet prince charming, and wanted to marry a pastor, mother 12 children, and teach kindergarten.\u00a0 But God had other plans, thankfully.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd she did meet and marry prince charming, Richard Meyer, and he wanted to become a youth pastor and indeed he did.\u00a0 But it seemed that every two years interesting phenomena began to occur.\u00a0 He changed goals or plans or positions or we just had lots of changes.\u00a0 And I got frustrated as I, you know, raced around the country with him from one point to another and soon developed a deep desire to teach the same school classroom, in the same building, and the same school district for at least two years.\u00a0 But, God had other plans.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so, eventually, about 6 \u00bd years into our marriage, Rich was working in the secular world and our daughter came along and Becky was born, she is now 19.\u00a0 She came along, we thought everything was just right.\u00a0 Rich started to work for my parents and in the course of time everything seemed to be right and we put our hope in what seemed like a good and secure future. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut God had other plans for us. In fact, Rich decided suddenly that he wanted out of the family business and decided to become a professional truck driver.\u00a0 And at about that same time he came out one Sunday morning and said, \u201cMy prayers are hitting the ceiling, I can\u2019t see God, I can\u2019t feel him, I don\u2019t even know if He\u2019s really there.\u00a0 And I\u2019m sorry I guess this comes as a great surprise to you, but I\u2019m not going to sit there in church until I figure this thing out.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, with all the changes, I really thought life wasn\u2019t going to be what I had anticipated and I was so grateful that God had other plans.\u00a0 And I was pretty excited about it, when just a short time after Rich started truck driving, it was less than two years, he came home and had an emergency back surgery from a loading accident.\u00a0 He had to spend the next two years recuperating, relearning to walk and reevaluating his goals and plans.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe crown I had given him slipped further and further off his head.\u00a0 And our love for each other went down to next to nothing. And neither one of us thought we would ever have any more fun, but God had other plans.\u00a0 I was sure that Rich was the one that needed some work, but God impressed upon me that I can\u2019t change anybody but me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I finally admitted that and went for some help from our pastor of counseling at our church, he told me that I needed to go home to Rich and check and see what he wanted me to change and he\u2019d help me see what I could and change that and we\u2019d see what God would do.\u00a0 Certainly that\u2019s what happened and so the changes in me affected our relationship in the best possible way. And as I applied all the things I learned in Bible College and the things that the counselor was teaching me, my life changed and changed Rich for the better.\u00a0 We fell back in love and it was just the coolest thing. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what wasn\u2019t cool, is the fact that Rich didn\u2019t have any faith to share with his little girl, and so at the age of seven, Becky came to me and said, \u201cMom, half my heart believes in Jesus and the other half doesn\u2019t know if He\u2019s real, what am I going to do?\u201d\u00a0 Basically I took her to the Word and as I opened the Bible, I was checking for doubting Thomas and couldn\u2019t find the gospels.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod opened the word up to us and I had already had Jeremiah 29: 11, 12 and 13 underlined.\u00a0 And as I read those verses to Becky, verse 13 says, \u201cSeek Me with all your heart and I will let you find Me.\u201d\u00a0 And so then she said, \u201cHow do we seek Him?\u201d\u00a0 And the verse right before that, verse 12 says, \u201cCome and call to Me and look for Me and I will answer You.\u201d\u00a0 And so the Holy Spirit brought back an illustration that a teacher and a mother in class had given.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d listened carefully and so I applied that and Becky and I cut out construction paper flowers and we wrote a prayer request on each one and we prayed over those prayer requests every night before she went to bed.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t make it obvious and pray at the dinner table, we just did it quietly before she went to sleep each night.\u00a0 By the end of one week, five prayer requests were answered and she wanted to put the flowers up on the ceiling of her room where she could read them from her bed.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so we did that, that wasn\u2019t what mom had envisioned as the interior decorator.\u00a0 By the end of one month God had answered 20 of Becky\u2019s request flowers including one that said, \u201cGod, I want to know you more.\u201d\u00a0 Well, I was thrilled, but God had even greater plans because about 6 months later I was sharing this story with a new friend I had met and telling her the whole situation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was completely amazed with the revelation that God had put together a father whose prayers who were hitting the ceiling with a little girl whose faith was a direct result of prayer requests that were answered written on flowers that were stuck to her ceiling and just that fast God brought back the verse, Jeremiah 29:11, that says, \u201cI know the plans I have for you, plans for hope and for good,\u201d and that included my family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd you know it\u2019s been eighteen years since Rich came out that Sunday morning and said no more God; I think I\u2019m done here. I think I\u2019m agnostic.\u00a0 God has carried us that whole way and you know when I had that revelation from God about the ceiling garden and Rich\u2019s prayers hitting the ceiling, I had to think that God\u2019s plans are best and the opportunity that He\u2019s given me to share really is a good plan.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You, in that story, repeated a phrase \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 God had different plans for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You never thought you would ever write a book called <em>A Spiritually Single Mom,<\/em> I mean, when you speak to groups, undoubtedly and you introduce that subject, there has to be curiosity about what does that mean, to be a spiritually single mom?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 A spiritually single mom, obviously, is the mom who comes with her children to church alone and sits in a pew by herself, with her kids off in different parts of the church, or sits with her children in church, there\u2019s no husband with her and yet, there is a husband at home.\u00a0 So that\u2019s where the spiritually single mom comes in.\u00a0 And a single mom is spiritually single as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHowever, a spiritually single mom is one where the husband and wife are intact.\u00a0 It\u2019s an intact family.\u00a0 But they\u2019re a spiritually divided home and so, with that definition in place it\u2019s also true that there are some spiritually single women who are sitting in church congregations right now, who are sitting beside a man that has checked out.\u00a0 He is just not in tune with God any more or they are not in tune in quite the same way, and she feels abandoned.\u00a0 But she can\u2019t share that with anybody because that would compromise his reputation with the people, and with their friends and it would also compromise their relationship. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And to that point, as you share this story about you and Richard, you have his permission.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it\u2019s very important for us to tell your listeners that Rich has given me permission to share our story.\u00a0 As a matter of fact, he signed the release for the media involvement today.\u00a0 Which is very cool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Why do you think he does that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the reasons that he allows me to share, is because he trusts me and I don\u2019t take advantage of that trust.\u00a0 Just as for today, I have prayed that I would not say anything that would give your listeners a negative picture of him that would be unfair or unrealistic, but would only leave him in good light.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are still things about all of us that aren\u2019t the way they should be and Rich\u2019s actual words to me when he gave me permission.\u00a0 He said, \u201cIf you could help women stick in difficult marriages, and keep families together, you can say anything you want to say.\u201d\u00a0 He said that this October 12 years ago.\u00a0 And so as long as he keeps allowing me to share, I will do so.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me take you back to that Sunday morning that you described in your fairy tale, where Rich came out and said that\u2019s it, my prayers are hitting the ceiling,\u00a0 I\u2019m checking out until I get this thing figured out.\u00a0 Did you think at that time this will be one of those momentary lapses of faith that he\u2019ll get it resolved and three weeks from now we will be back at church, everything will be fine?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, because there had already been indication, probably as long as I had known him, that he grapples with authority in his life.\u00a0 There are other things that just led me to believe that this was a rocky road and this might be the end and I ..\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The end of?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 the end of Rich\u2019s spirituality.\u00a0 I mean it was pretty obvious the way he was saying things and I knew that he had been struggling.\u00a0 He\u2019d struggled through different job situations and yes, it was one of those times when you could hear a pin drop. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0You know how sometimes everything goes still and it\u2019s just a moment caught in time?\u00a0 You remember it forever and you can hear the clock tick extra loud, and it was one of those moments your whole face, the red climbs right up your throat and, you know, over your ears and up to your forehead and you just feel like you\u2019re going to implode.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember going to church, I remember getting Becky ready, because Rich would bring her a little bit later, because I taught a Sunday school class for women and then he would bring her for church and so I had to get her ready that day and I got her ready, and we hopped in the car and I went and I don\u2019t know how I taught that Sunday school class.\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember a thing about it and I don\u2019t remember what the pastor spoke on.\u00a0\u00a0 I just looking back, realize I probably felt like a shell that was completely empty inside and felt like that for quite awhile.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd several years later when I look back at that day and then the next few weeks and months, I realized that I was going through the grief process because I had lost that spiritual oneness with my husband and I didn\u2019t know if I would get it back or when, or if.\u00a0 I live there now as well, with that knowledge that every decision is an individual\u2019s decision to make with God. I can\u2019t make a decision for Rich, regarding God.\u00a0 So I can\u2019t tell you that he is going to come back.\u00a0 I can tell you that with faith, I believe that he can and he will by God\u2019s grace.\u00a0 But he is still an individual.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Does he know you\u2019re praying for him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m sure he does.\u00a0 And I\u2019m sure that he suspects that there\u2019re people all over the world praying for him, too.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 I\u2019d like to ask our listeners right now, before they go to bed tonight, and go to sleep, I want you to just mention Rich\u2019s name before the King and ask God to so love him and chase him down.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That someday you\u2019ll hear the rest of the story here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, well now I have to tell you that a friend took me aside one day and said you know how you and Rich are so so different?\u00a0 She said, if you are away from the Lord and you were going to come back to the Lord, and you found your sweet spot with God again.\u00a0 She said. everyone on the face of the earth would know it, but, she said, think about Rich, he\u2019s not the same kind of person.\u00a0 She said, I think you need to think about how you are going to respond, you know, you\u2019re not going to have freedom to tell everybody his story. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I thought about that, I prayed about it for awhile and I actually said to Rich at one point, you know I don\u2019t know when you\u2019re going to come back to the Lord, but when you do I just wanted to let you know that I understand we are so different that I\u2019m going to back off and you tell who you want to tell and you tell them the way you want it to be told.\u00a0 So I can\u2019t promise you, Dennis that you will know before we get to heaven.\u00a0 But, I know that God is doing some great things, and I trust Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for sharing that, because I want our listeners to hear and to visualize and to understand what she just modeled.\u00a0 Not a controlling woman or for that matter, a controlling spouse.\u00a0 But instead one who gives freedom, one who\u2019s not trying to make them a replica of themselves.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just appreciate you being open and honest and saying that to Rich to give him the freedom so that there is no hindrance.\u00a0 I think one of the big problems that we face in a situation like this, is the spouse who\u2019s there with the unbelieving one or the one who strayed from Christ for a time, feels it\u2019s their responsibility to preach, to control, to get the truth to them, to find a way to win them back.\u00a0 And that really is ultimately God\u2019s responsibility, not ours.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 And as a matter of fact, one of the things I try and get across to the women is that your husband\u2019s problems aren\u2019t your fault and they are not your responsibility to fix.\u00a0 It\u2019s actually my daughter that put that in words a couple years ago when I was asking her how she\u2019s doing with the whole spiritually divided household thing.\u00a0 And she said, \u201cWell you know mom, I\u2019m ok, I realize two things, I realize that God gave you and dad both to me to help me to become the person I need to be and she said you both give me good and bad examples.\u201d\u00a0 (laughter) \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes, thanks Bec, but its true and she said the other thing is you know I know dad\u2019s problems aren\u2019t my fault and they\u2019re not my responsibility to fix.\u00a0 I was overwhelmed with the maturity of that statement and I\u2019m so thankful that God\u2019s brought her that.\u00a0 But even though we both believe it, it\u2019s still hard to live it sometimes. It\u2019s still hard to live a noncontrolling life because I know I have the right answers and I want Rich to have them and I want to change him, you know and got to back off that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 You know, I think about spouses who are in the situation you are in and whether it\u2019s a wife or a husband, some of them are there because when they got married, they thought they were on the same page spiritually and then they find out a few years in that they either never were or in your case something changed.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then there are also those folks who are in the situation because they both went into marriage, neither of them on any kind of a spiritual page and one of them comes to faith in Christ.\u00a0 And you know we talk all the time about the spiritual intimacy that a couple experiences as being integral to a healthy marriage relationship.\u00a0 That\u2019s been gone for you for 18 years, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, it\u2019s been gone a little bit longer than that and probably if I was to look back, I would say that we didn\u2019t have a really, really thriving spiritual life as a couple from the very beginning.\u00a0 It was ok, and we both knew that we were in love with the Lord, but very different from the beginning and it wasn\u2019t a big thing for Rich to make sure we had time to pray and read together we\u2019re both highly active, high energy people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 At least you were coming off the same page where you thought you were still kind of \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 we were working on it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 thinking along the same lines now all of a sudden the spiritual connectedness is not a part of the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But to that point, there are a lot of women who go to church with a husband and I\u2019m glad you pointed this out earlier, who have the trappings of looking like there is a spiritual relationship shared and they\u2019re not, they\u2019re just as alone as you are today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, or some, you know, saved woman whose husband is unsaved will say to that person who is coming to church with their husband, \u201cWell, at least he comes to church with you\u201d like that\u2019s a good thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well isn\u2019t it a good thing?\u00a0\u00a0 I mean wouldn\u2019t you rather have him there, than not?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, but if you are sitting in church beside a man who you know has checked out, there is this constant frustration because he\u2019s right there with you and you know that things aren\u2019t right and you want to fix him and you want to\u2026.\u00a0\u00a0 Oh you know, I can feel the heart of that woman \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 uh huh, he\u2019s there, but he is not with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Nancy, as I picture you speaking to a lot of women right now, and probably some men who are in spiritually mismatched marriages\u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, there\u2019s many.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hear three principals coming through loud and clear and they all begin with the letter \u201cH.\u201d\u00a0 First of all, Humility.\u00a0 You have and continue to demonstrate a right spirit, not only before God, but before your husband.\u00a0 You\u2019re not judging him; you are trying to win him without a word.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, I hear the word, Help.\u00a0 You had those who came along side you to help you, to encourage you, to coach you.\u00a0 And third, help you not give up and have Hope.\u00a0 And I hear hope throughout this story, and I think we serve the God of all hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis Christianity is not a dead religion, God is alive.\u00a0 He works.\u00a0 Your spouse, the spouse that your married to who may not be a believer is just an arm\u2019s length from the throne of God.\u00a0 God has got him within his reach and it could be there just aren\u2019t enough people praying yet, it could be it may not be God\u2019s timing for him. Or her, but the point is, don\u2019t lose hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And don\u2019t try and go it alone either.\u00a0 I mean I think we need to say you\u2019re going to need friends, allies, prayer partners.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to need help as you walk this difficult path as a spiritually single mom.\u00a0 I\u2019d encourage you to get a copy of the book that Nancy\u2019s written, called, <em>Spiritually Single Mom\u2019s: Raising Godly Kids When Dad Doesn\u2019t Believe.<\/em>\u00a0 It\u2019s a book that we\u2019ve got in our FamilyLife Today resource center.\u00a0 You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about getting a copy of the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also have Nancy Kennedy\u2019s very helpful book, <em>When He Doesn\u2019t Believe:<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>Help and Encouragement for Women Who Feel Alone in Their Faith<\/em>.\u00a0 So as a wife or as a mom, we\u2019ve got resources to help you if you are on this journey alone.\u00a0 And I know there are men who are spiritually single husbands and dads as well, this isn\u2019t just a one-sided situation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, let me encourage you go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 The resources I\u2019ve talked about are available there or you can call toll free 1-800-358-6329, 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 Someone on our team can let you know how you can have the resources you need sent to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I think one of the key issues all of us struggle with in marriage, whether we\u2019re spiritually single or whether we both share common faith, is the issue of forgiving one another when there\u2019s been conflict in the relationship.\u00a0 We know that the scriptures teach us to forgive, but that\u2019s often easier to deal with on a theoretical level than it is to apply that forgiveness in practice.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had the opportunity a while back to sit down and have a conversation on the subject of forgiveness with Nancy Leigh DeMoss.\u00a0 She has written a book called <em>Choosing Forgiveness<\/em>, and this month, we want to make this CD of that conversation with Nancy available as our way of saying thank you when you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation of any amount.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are listener supported; your financial support is what keeps us on the air on this station and on other stations all across the country.\u00a0 So, if you are able to help with a donation this month, we want you to feel free to request a copy of the CD called <em>Choosing Forgiveness<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are making your donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com, when you get to the key code box on the donation form as you fill it out, just type the word, \u201cforgive\u201d into that box and we\u2019ll know to send you a copy of this CD.\u00a0 Or you can make your donation over the phone, call 1-800-FLTODAY, that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329. Make a donation, and simply ask for a copy of the CD on forgiveness.\u00a0 Again, we are happy to send it to you and we so much appreciate your partnership with us and your financial support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ve been talking to those who are in spiritually mismatched marriages and Nancy, you have been very gracious to not only share with us the theme of your book, <em>Spiritually<\/em> <em>Single Moms<\/em>, but also your own story and at the beginning of the broadcast you started with a fairy tale and there is a final chapter to the fairy tale that you read.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Nancy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the only bit of that that I can read, is the very last page when the God, the Heavenly Father who became my father when I was five.\u00a0 I accepted Christ as Savior and entered into the family of the King of Kings, and it was God\u2019 purposes for His precious princess Nancy to love Rich, to mother little Becky and to spiritually encourage many of God\u2019s precious children.\u00a0 And in the not so distant future he will take Princess Nancy home to live with Him in heaven forever and ever happily ever after.\u00a0 But that is not the end.\u00a0 That is simply the beginning.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a9 2009 FamilyLife\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301859","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301859"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301859"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301859"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301859"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301859"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301859"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301859"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}