{"id":301849,"date":"2009-06-30T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-06-30T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/embracing-lifes-changes\/"},"modified":"2009-06-30T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-06-30T15:00:00","slug":"embracing-lifes-changes","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/embracing-lifes-changes\/","title":{"rendered":"Embracing Life\u2019s Changes"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sometimes one single incident changes the course of your life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-06-30.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"12.95M","filesize_raw":"13575201","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2090],"tags":[4798,2209,4177],"podcast_series":[7656],"cwp_profile":[],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301849","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-special-needs-child","tag-kids","tag-parenting","tag-special-needs","podcast_series-unexpected-journey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301849\/embracing-lifes-changes","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301849\/embracing-lifes-changes","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"GqBLObyb0w\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/embracing-lifes-changes\/\">Embracing Life\u2019s Changes<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/embracing-lifes-changes\/embed\/#?secret=GqBLObyb0w\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Embracing Life\u2019s Changes&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"GqBLObyb0w\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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<\/strong>\u00a0You talk about other choices.\u00a0 The duty versus the other choices.\u00a0 When you said there were other choices were you talking about, such as: you could put him in some kind of an institution, a care facility, where you go visit him from time to time.\u00a0 That\u2019s the end of your responsibilities.\u00a0 Is that what you mean by other choices?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindi: <\/strong>\u00a0Certainly.\u00a0 We have visited places like that where there are children who are every bit as capable as Joey is, but whose parents for whatever reason have chosen this, either because they can\u2019t take care of them or don\u2019t want to take care of them.\u00a0 Because it is a job that is 24\/7, it can be daunting.\u00a0 There are many people who really feel at that point:\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I can do this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Some of the folks we are talking to have made that decision.\u00a0 You\u2019ve talked to people who have made that decision.\u00a0 Are you saying they\u2019ve made the wrong decision?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindi:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think everyone has to make the decision that is best for them.\u00a0 We have had situations in our life where the child could not be in the home.\u00a0 It was destructive.\u00a0 It was unsafe.\u00a0 Sometimes life-threatening.\u00a0 So I would never tell someone they should or shouldn\u2019t do it.\u00a0 In our life we knew that we could manage this duty with the help of the Lord.\u00a0 We would do it with His help.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joe: <\/strong>\u00a0 There are different degrees of disabilities.\u00a0 We would never generalize a statement like that and say that because you did that you are wrong.\u00a0 That is not our thoughts at all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s what your duty, your decision, meant.\u00a0 I mean it meant a lot of things but it meant that your own personal freedoms were going to not be as much as most adults have.\u00a0 It meant that your daughters were going to grow up in a very different kind of a home than most daughters grow up in.\u00a0 It meant that ministry, you\u2019d talked about wanting to do ministry together as a couple, now all of a sudden those ministry opportunities were going to be set aside.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere had to be some long, hard talks about maybe the best thing for everyone would be if Joey had, maybe it would be the best thing for him to have, full-time care in one of these care facilities.\u00a0 Maybe that would be the best thing for us.\u00a0 Did you have a lot of long talks about that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindi:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can tell you that I would have probably never done that.\u00a0 If I never got to go out of my house again, I probably would have served at home caring for my son.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think my personality would have allowed for me to have allowed for my son to have been taken from me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked a lot about Joey and lessons you\u2019ve learned.\u00a0 Describe him to me.\u00a0 I want each of you to tell me your favorite Joey story.\u00a0 You\u2019ve mentioned that he has cerebral palsy and that he\u2019s mentally retarded.\u00a0 What does that mean, practically speaking, at the age of 27?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindi:<\/strong>\u00a0 At 27, physically, believe this or not, he is 6\u20193.\u201d\u00a0 So he\u2019s very tall.\u00a0 Since dad is not that tall, it looks kind of funny in a family picture because we are all about the same height.\u00a0 Then there is Joey who looks like this big tall tree in the midst of all of us.\u00a0 He\u2019s really quite delightful.\u00a0 He actually has a very nice sense of humor.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn terms of the cerebral palsy, he\u2019s not in a wheelchair.\u00a0 He is mobile.\u00a0 His gait is very obvious.\u00a0 He has a little bit of a limp.\u00a0 His legs are very thin.\u00a0 When you talk about how do those kids stand on those legs that are so thin they look like toothpicks.\u00a0 They really look like toothpicks, really thin and skinny.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHis highest functioning aspect is his reading skills which to us is a great blessing because at a fourth grade level he is able to read signs and simple books.\u00a0 It takes a lot of time to do so.\u00a0 Maybe he can read a little of the sports page and see what\u2019s happening with his special teams.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe can make us laugh sometimes.\u00a0 If I can share one story.\u00a0 We were coming home from his place of work, which is a supervised work experience.\u00a0 He really cannot be alone because if someone came and said, \u201cJoey, come with me,\u201d he would go.\u00a0 He would go with anyone.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe transport him to work everyday and home.\u00a0 It\u2019s about thirteen thousand miles every year.\u00a0 So that\u2019s a commitment right there.\u00a0 Talk about love.\u00a0 Anyway, we were driving home one day and there was a billboard.\u00a0 In our area there is a place called Fish Furniture.\u00a0 He started laughing.\u00a0 He looked at me and said, \u201cFish?\u00a0 Furniture?\u201d\u00a0 Like, what would fish do with furniture?\u00a0 You know, never in my mind would I even have thought like that because it\u2019s just the Fish company furniture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You hear stories like that and it\u2019s delightful.\u00a0 Yet I know there have been times, Cindi, when you\u2019ll be talking with a friend and she\u2019ll say, \u201cOh, I got together with a bunch of moms recently for lunch.\u00a0 We had the best time.\u201d\u00a0 And you are thinking, \u201cI would like to get together with some friends for lunch and have the best time.\u00a0 And that\u2019s not the path I\u2019m on.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr Joe, you hear about some guys getting together and doing something.\u00a0 You go, \u201cThat\u2019s just not a part of my life.\u00a0 I don\u2019t get to do that.\u201d\u00a0 What do you do with those feelings when they happen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joe: <\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s a tough one.\u00a0 We have to take each situation by itself.\u00a0 We have the church baseball league.\u00a0 Everyone loves Joey.\u00a0 When we come there, they\u2019ll give Joey a ball and he\u2019ll lob it back to them.\u00a0 They gave him a t-shirt to wear for the team.\u00a0 He\u2019s happy just cheering for the team.\u00a0 One day we got to go to the Cleveland Indians baseball game.\u00a0 At the end of the game they allow all of the children to run the bases.\u00a0 I\u2019m talking children--three, four, five-year-olds running the bases.\u00a0 Joey said, \u201cMe go?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cOkay.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0 He was how old?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joe: <\/strong>\u00a0He was in his twenties at this time.\u00a0 Six foot something.\u00a0 I took a big gulp and said, \u201cOkay, let\u2019s go down there.\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019s running the bases at the Cleveland Indians stadium.\u00a0 I\u2019m right there behind him in case he falls or anything.\u00a0 But that\u2019s okay.\u00a0 That\u2019s all right.\u00a0 That\u2019s my kid.\u00a0 He wants to do that.\u00a0 He can do that.\u00a0 I\u2019m happy to do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve had Joey in Special Olympics.\u00a0 We\u2019ve had him do Soap Box Derby, a special edition of soapbox derby.\u00a0 He\u2019s gone as far as he can go in those things.\u00a0 That coach part of me in my head wants my kid to do something like that.\u00a0 He did the very best that he could do.\u00a0 That\u2019s all I could ask of him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0As I listen to this story, I think that if there was a school you could enroll in to learn how to be a great lover of people, there would be a great line forming outside that school.\u00a0 The problem is, as you all have experienced, the route of learning how to be a great lover is not downhill.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A pretty rigorous course they\u2019d put you through at that school.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The challenges you have faced in your marriage, in your family, and as Bob pointed out in your personal lives.\u00a0 Dying to self.\u00a0 Constantly having to give up your expectations.\u00a0 Yet the verse I read earlier Romans 8:28, how God promises to use all things, everything that happens in our lives, for good.\u00a0 It\u2019s not for evil, if we will respond by faith.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joe:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s a choice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you have to choose to respond in faith to Him.\u00a0 You can turn away from God and become embittered and angry and just cave in to becoming furious, full of bitterness and resentment.\u00a0 I can see how that would be very easy to do.\u00a0 That\u2019s hopeless, absolute hopelessness. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joe: <\/strong>\u00a0I would love to be able to tell you that that was easy for me.\u00a0 But that was not easy for me.\u00a0 It was a definite crossroads in my life.\u00a0 I shook my fist at God and said, \u201cHow dare You do this to my son.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn my mind I knew that I had to accept him.\u00a0 This was God\u2019s will for our lives.\u00a0 I wish I could tell you that it was easy for me, that it took me 30 seconds.\u00a0 But it took a while for me to cross that line.\u00a0 By God\u2019s grace and the prayers of many people, we were able to resolve that issue in our lives and say, \u201cOkay God.\u00a0 I accept this gift that You have give me in my son, just the way You wanted it to be.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0As you mentioned, you are not alone.\u00a0 Your book <em>Unexpected Journey<\/em> is full of stories of others who have been on this rigorous road as well.\u00a0 They give us courage.\u00a0 Those stories remind us of what is right and of how others have experienced it and how they have dealt with it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The thing that I think so many people appreciate about the book is how honest and transparent you are.\u00a0 You are not sugarcoating the situation.\u00a0 You are showing other parents how you have fleshed this out in the midst of real emotions, real challenges, real struggles and yet real faith.\u00a0 This is a great book to pass along to parents who have a special needs child.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to encourage our listeners to go to our website FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Just stop and think for a moment.\u00a0 How many parents do you know who are dealing with an autistic child, or a child with cerebral palsy, or a child who has any kind of a special need?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOrder multiple copies of Joe and Cindi\u2019s book and give them as a gift to your friends. Again, we have copies in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and the information you need about how to order the book online is available there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-Today.\u00a0 You can get information over the phone about how you can get a copy of Joe and Cindi\u2019s book.\u00a0 Let me also mention, many folks have contacting us about the new book from your wife Barbara, Dennis, and your daughter Rebecca.\u00a0 The book is called <em>A Symphony in the Dark<\/em>.\u00a0 In this book they talk about the lessons they have learned and the lessons that all of you learned as a family as you faced the death of your granddaughter Molly a year ago.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, this is a book you may want to pass along to a parent you know who has experienced the loss of a son or a daughter in recent days.\u00a0 The book is called <em>A Symphony in the Dark.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>We have copies in our FamilyLife Today Resource Center.\u00a0 You can find out more or order online at FamilyLifeToday.com or by calling 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know the reality is that we will all experience trials in life.\u00a0 There is going to be suffering that accompanies certain seasons of our lives.\u00a0 We need to know how to walk the path when we are experiencing trials.\u00a0 How do you walk that path in faith?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNot long ago Dennis Rainey gave a message to our staff here at FamilyLife from Psalm 34 called <em>Trials and Tribulations: encouragement, hope, and help found in Psalm 34<\/em>.\u00a0 This month we are making the CD of that message available to listeners who can support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation of any amount.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis has been a challenging year for us at FamilyLife, as it has been for many non-profits, and for many families.\u00a0 We have seen a decline in donations to our ministry.\u00a0 We\u2019ve had to make some hard choices in the midst of this challenging economy and it is at times like this that we need to be reminded that what God says is true.\u00a0 That\u2019s what Dennis does for us in this message from Psalm 34.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can help with a donation of any amount to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this month, feel free to request a copy of the CD from Dennis on trials and tribulations.\u00a0 All you have to do to request the CD is type the word \u201ctrials\u201d in the key code box on the online donation form or call 1-800-FL-Today, 1-800-358-6329, 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word today.\u00a0 When you make a donation over the phone you can request a copy of this CD on trials and tribulation.\u00a0 Again we are happy to send it out to you.\u00a0 We very much appreciate your support of this ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019ll be talking with Joe and Cindi Ferrini about the special pressure that is put on a marriage relationship when you are raising a child with unique physical challenges and needs.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today Keith Lynch and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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