{"id":301827,"date":"2009-05-26T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-26T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/expectations-and-adjustments-part-1\/"},"modified":"2009-05-26T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-05-26T15:00:00","slug":"expectations-and-adjustments-part-1","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/expectations-and-adjustments-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Expectations and Adjustments, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Marriage&#8211;it\u2019s a lot harder than it looks. Today, Dennis Rainey looks at three reasons marriages fail and encourages couples to go the distance in order to make it to the finish line of lifetime love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Marriage&#8211;it\u2019s a lot harder than it looks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-05-26.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"10.97M","filesize_raw":"11503722","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2808],"tags":[4035,4034],"podcast_series":[7649],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301827","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-newlyweds","tag-first-year-of-marriage","tag-newlyweds","podcast_series-starting-your-marriage-right-2009","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301827\/expectations-and-adjustments-part-1","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301827\/expectations-and-adjustments-part-1","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"J28D8IkHCc\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/expectations-and-adjustments-part-1\/\">Expectations and Adjustments, Part 1<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/expectations-and-adjustments-part-1\/embed\/#?secret=J28D8IkHCc\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Expectations and Adjustments, Part 1&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"J28D8IkHCc\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tit?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It really is, and unfortunately, if we don\u2019t have that budget, we can come to the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tend of the month and struggle with one another month after month after month.\u00a0 That \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdoesn\u2019t have to take place.\u00a0 We can learn to live within our means.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s chapter 14 where it talks about balancing the family budget.\u00a0 You have really \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ttackled most of the issues that couples are going to face in the first few years of marriage in the book <em>Starting Your Marriage Right<\/em>, and it\u2019s a book we\u2019ve got available in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like to receive a copy, we\u2019d love to send you one.\u00a0 In fact, as you\u2019re encouraging, Dennis, this would be a great book for couples to go through together with an older couple, a mentor couple who can talk through a chapter with you and maybe reflect back on some of their own mistakes, some of their own experiences, and help you see that it\u2019s not abnormal to have to make these early adjustments in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s written to go either way.\u00a0 A couple can go through it just by themselves, or a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tmentoring couple could sit down \u2026 and Bob, I\u2019ll tell you, this is how I hope and dream and pray that this resource will be used in the lives of tens of thousands of newly married couples across the country because their real need in starting their marriage out right is for someone with flesh on to share their victories and their failures, their strengths and their weaknesses in these areas of adjustment.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe all will make adjustment to expectations in a marriage relationship.\u00a0 The problem comes when newly marrieds feel like they\u2019re the only people on the face of the planet that have ever had to adjust to the end of the month, but they\u2019re not.\u00a0 Others have gone through this, they\u2019ve made their mistakes, and that\u2019s why a book like this can kick off some discussion, but can really be utilized by an older couple who\u2019s willing to mentor the next generation of young couples.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, the book is called <em>Starting Your Marriage Right<\/em>, and if you know \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tcouples who are about to get married, this book would make a great gift for those couples as they begin their life together.\u00a0 You can contact us here at FamilyLife for more information.\u00a0 1-800-FL-TODAY is our toll-free number.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word \u201ctoday\u201d or you can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI should also mention for those couples who are engaged and the wedding is still a ways \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\toff we have a workbook for premarried couples called, <em>Preparing for Marriage<\/em>. This has \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbeen a best selling guide for a few years now.\u00a0 Again, our web site is\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to take a minute here and say thanks to the many regular listeners of FamilyLife\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday who have already contacted us this month who have responded to our matching \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tgift challenge this month.\u00a0 We had some friends of the ministry who were aware of the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tchallenging financial times we been in as a ministry.\u00a0 They came forward a few weeks ago and said they wanted to encourage listeners to make a donation to FamilyLife Today.\u00a0\u00a0 And to do that we will agree to match every donation that is sent this month on a dollar for dollar basis up to $356,000.\u00a0 Many of you have heard about that and responded.\u00a0 We appreciate that.\u00a0 Just a few more days left in the month of May.\u00a0 We\u2019re hoping to hear from as many listeners as possible.\u00a0 You can donate on line at FamilyLifeToday.com or call\u00a0 1-800-FL-TODAY and make your donation.\u00a0 Again, we appreciate your generosity very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, tomorrow we are going to find out the right way to load the dishwasher.\u00a0 Why not doing it the right way can create some real challenges in your marriage relationship.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks to our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see you tomorrow for another edition of \u201cFamilyLife Today.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cFamilyLife Today\u201d is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 Help for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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a lot harder than it looks.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-05-26.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>Yeah, I\u2019m looking here at chapter 13 in the book <em>Starting Your Marriage Right<\/em>;\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBMW or Bicycle:\u00a0 Agreeing on Lifestyle Choices.\u00a0 That\u2019s part of the money issue, isn\u2019t \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tit?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It really is, and unfortunately, if we don\u2019t have that budget, we can come to the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tend of the month and struggle with one another month after month after month.\u00a0 That \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdoesn\u2019t have to take place.\u00a0 We can learn to live within our means.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That\u2019s chapter 14 where it talks about balancing the family budget.\u00a0 You have really \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ttackled most of the issues that couples are going to face in the first few years of marriage in the book <em>Starting Your Marriage Right<\/em>, and it\u2019s a book we\u2019ve got available in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like to receive a copy, we\u2019d love to send you one.\u00a0 In fact, as you\u2019re encouraging, Dennis, this would be a great book for couples to go through together with an older couple, a mentor couple who can talk through a chapter with you and maybe reflect back on some of their own mistakes, some of their own experiences, and help you see that it\u2019s not abnormal to have to make these early adjustments in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It\u2019s written to go either way.\u00a0 A couple can go through it just by themselves, or a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tmentoring couple could sit down \u2026 and Bob, I\u2019ll tell you, this is how I hope and dream and pray that this resource will be used in the lives of tens of thousands of newly married couples across the country because their real need in starting their marriage out right is for someone with flesh on to share their victories and their failures, their strengths and their weaknesses in these areas of adjustment.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe all will make adjustment to expectations in a marriage relationship.\u00a0 The problem comes when newly marrieds feel like they\u2019re the only people on the face of the planet that have ever had to adjust to the end of the month, but they\u2019re not.\u00a0 Others have gone through this, they\u2019ve made their mistakes, and that\u2019s why a book like this can kick off some discussion, but can really be utilized by an older couple who\u2019s willing to mentor the next generation of young couples.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, again, the book is called <em>Starting Your Marriage Right<\/em>, and if you know \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tcouples who are about to get married, this book would make a great gift for those couples as they begin their life together.\u00a0 You can contact us here at FamilyLife for more information.\u00a0 1-800-FL-TODAY is our toll-free number.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word \u201ctoday\u201d or you can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI should also mention for those couples who are engaged and the wedding is still a ways \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\toff we have a workbook for premarried couples called, <em>Preparing for Marriage<\/em>. This has \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbeen a best selling guide for a few years now.\u00a0 Again, our web site is\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to take a minute here and say thanks to the many regular listeners of FamilyLife\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday who have already contacted us this month who have responded to our matching \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tgift challenge this month.\u00a0 We had some friends of the ministry who were aware of the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tchallenging financial times we been in as a ministry.\u00a0 They came forward a few weeks ago and said they wanted to encourage listeners to make a donation to FamilyLife Today.\u00a0\u00a0 And to do that we will agree to match every donation that is sent this month on a dollar for dollar basis up to $356,000.\u00a0 Many of you have heard about that and responded.\u00a0 We appreciate that.\u00a0 Just a few more days left in the month of May.\u00a0 We\u2019re hoping to hear from as many listeners as possible.\u00a0 You can donate on line at FamilyLifeToday.com or call\u00a0 1-800-FL-TODAY and make your donation.\u00a0 Again, we appreciate your generosity very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, tomorrow we are going to find out the right way to load the dishwasher.\u00a0 Why not doing it the right way can create some real challenges in your marriage relationship.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThanks to our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see you tomorrow for another edition of \u201cFamilyLife Today.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cFamilyLife Today\u201d is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 Help for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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