{"id":301826,"date":"2009-05-25T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-25T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/great-expectations-for-your-marriage\/"},"modified":"2009-05-25T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-05-25T15:00:00","slug":"great-expectations-for-your-marriage","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/great-expectations-for-your-marriage\/","title":{"rendered":"Great Expectations for Your Marriage"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;You may now kiss the bride!&#8221;  Are those the words that welcome wedded bliss?  All this week on the broadcast, Dennis Rainey helps newlyweds build their marriage on the right foundation so they can make living happily ever after a reality.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;You may now kiss the bride!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-05-25.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"13.08M","filesize_raw":"13713450","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2808],"tags":[4035,4034],"podcast_series":[7649],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301826","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-newlyweds","tag-first-year-of-marriage","tag-newlyweds","podcast_series-starting-your-marriage-right-2009","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301826\/great-expectations-for-your-marriage","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301826\/great-expectations-for-your-marriage","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"LSDLLs0Qgs\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/great-expectations-for-your-marriage\/\">Great Expectations for Your Marriage<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/great-expectations-for-your-marriage\/embed\/#?secret=LSDLLs0Qgs\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Great Expectations for Your Marriage&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"LSDLLs0Qgs\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-05-25.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-05-25.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Begin taped segment.]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenny:<\/strong> Dear Mom, I\u2019m just writing again to thank you and Dad for the beautiful \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twedding.\u00a0 It was everything we hoped and dreamed it would be.\u00a0 Chad and made it home on Thursday.\u00a0 I tried calling a couple of times, but you didn\u2019t answer.\u00a0 What are you guys doing?\u00a0 Anyway, isn\u2019t e-mail great?\u00a0 Write me back, okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur honeymoon was dreamy.\u00a0 We walked on the beach and talked for hours.\u00a0 Chad even cooked dinner for me one night.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you the details when I come home \u2026 I mean, when I see you and Dad next weekend, if that\u2019s okay.\u00a0 Oh, is it okay for me and Chad to come over next weekend?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know how you warned me that marriage can have its bumps?\u00a0 Well, as a now-married woman, I\u2019m just going to have to disagree with you.\u00a0 Mom, Chad is wonderful.\u00a0 We never fight.\u00a0 Tell Dad that Chad is different; he\u2019s kind and understanding and he wants to talk about what I want to talk about.\u00a0 Oh, and tell Dad that Chad does, too, let me hold the remote control, sometimes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, Mom, marriage isn\u2019t that much different than dating, except that now we\u2019re together all the time.\u00a0 Well, there are a few differences, but Chad says he\u2019s just fine with my favorite flannel pajamas and my electric blanket.\u00a0 I think he means it, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, got to go.\u00a0 Chad\u2019s taking me on a surprise date tonight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLove you forever, Jenny\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenny:<\/strong> Hi, Baby!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chad:<\/strong> Hey, Honey Bear, you ready to go?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenny:<\/strong> I\u2019m ready, but what\u2019s the surprise?\u00a0 Where are we going?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chad:<\/strong> Check it out!\u00a0 Arena football tickets, 40-yard line!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenny:<\/strong> Arena football?\u00a0 Chad!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chad:<\/strong> You said you like sports.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenny:<\/strong> I wanted to go out to eat!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chad:<\/strong> Well, they\u2019ve got corndogs and stuff there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenny:<\/strong> I don\u2019t want to go to a stinky arena \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[End taped segment.]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And welcome to \u201cFamilyLife Today.\u201d\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Monday \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tedition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I think there is something that is common to most young couples, something they experience during the first few weeks and months, years of their marriage.\u00a0 Do you know what it is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got an idea, but I don\u2019t know exactly what you\u2019re thinking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking this:\u00a0 \u201cSurprise!!\u201d\u00a0 Do you know what I mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Laughing] I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The first few years of marriage you go through the engagement period, you know \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tone another, you get along so well, everything is just \u2013 it\u2019s just going to be wonderful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re saying that no amount of preparation can fully equip them for handling \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tall the adjustments that they\u2019re going to face in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There are just a lot of surprises in the early years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There really are, and I want to read a verse that I don\u2019t know that I\u2019ve ever heard \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tanother person apply to a newly married couple starting out their relationship together, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbut Proverbs, chapter 13, verse 12, is a very familiar verse.\u00a0 \u201cHope deferred makes the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\theart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow think of the contrast there.\u00a0 Illness, sickness [chuckles] contrasted with a tree of life \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2026 fruit bearing, enjoyment, shade, comfort, sturdiness \u2026 all of the things that \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\taccompany a tree \u2026 it\u2019s important that a newly married couple fulfill their hopes and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdreams.\u00a0 If they don\u2019t, the opposite of that is hope deferred or unmet expectations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Everybody goes into marriage with lots of hopes, lots of dreams, and yet there is a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twake-up call at some point where you go, \u201cI never knew this about you, I didn\u2019t think \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyou\u2019d act this way, you do things differently than you used to when we were dating.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we have to begin to make those subtle adjustments in order to make a marriage, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tmake a relationship work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right, and the longer we remain single, I think, the more expectations we \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbring into the marriage relationship.\u00a0 I think our expectations when we\u2019re younger \u2026 18, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t19, 20, and so forth \u2026 well, those expectations are idealized, but I don\u2019t think we have \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthe number of them that we accumulate in our 20s.\u00a0 And I brought an illustration today to \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tshow to our radio listeners.\u00a0 And I have in my hand here \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been down to the hardware store, haven\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve been down to the hardware store.\u00a0 I have a yardstick, and let\u2019s say that this \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyardstick, 36 inches long, represents the expectations that a woman or a man brings into a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tmarriage relationship.\u00a0 And I think what begins to happen is the following.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You just broke it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just broke off two pieces.\u00a0 The first one, well, it\u2019s between the 31 and the 32 \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Uh-huh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2026 and the second was around 27-1\/2.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re breaking off about 5, 6 inches at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m saying that expectations begin to get whittled down until you\u2019re left with a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tfew expectations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s about a foot of them there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yeah, there\u2019s about 9-1\/2 inches of expectations there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow I want to ask you a question, Bob.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got another yardstick here that\u2019s fully in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tplace.\u00a0 This is \u2026 this one\u2019s not \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s solid.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2026 not broken.\u00a0 What do you call the difference between the broken yardstick, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthe 9-1\/2 inches that\u2019s in my left hand, and the 36-inch yardstick that\u2019s in my right hand?\u00a0 What do you call the difference between these two?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019d call it about 26-1\/2 inches is what I\u2019d call it [laughter].\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Good math, good math.\u00a0 What you\u2019d call this is failure or unmet expectation, or \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twhat I would call the unmet expectation syndrome, and this syndrome occurs to every \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tnewly married couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is where you take the difference between what you thought things were going \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tto be \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The 36 inches \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right, and the reality that you\u2019re living with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The 9-1\/2 inches you\u2019re left with.\u00a0 Here\u2019s the syndrome.\u00a0 The first thing that \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\thappens is we have high expectations.\u00a0 That will result at some point in the relationship \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tof unmet expectation.\u00a0 That gives way to disappointment, which in turn manifests itself as \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\thurt, and can at that point turn into anger, and anger turned toward the other person \u2026 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyour spouse \u2026 results in punishment.\u00a0 And if you don\u2019t make the necessary adjustments \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tto your expectations early in your marriage, then I believe you\u2019re going to end up with\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tjust a piece of the yardstick.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think the way God intended it was for us to end up \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twith only a few inches of the yardstick.\u00a0 I think we were intended to have hope and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\texpectations in the marriage relationship, but it has to be done in a healthy way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got three points I want to make quickly about expectations.\u00a0 First of all, expectations in a marriage relationship are not wrong, but they\u2019ve got to be kept under control and managed, I believe, biblically.\u00a0 We really have to bring what our desires of our hearts are before the scriptures and make sure we\u2019re not just being selfish.\u00a0 Some people have expectations so high that frankly they\u2019re running in conflict with the scripture and they are simply not going to be met.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat really leads me to the second one.\u00a0 All of your expectations will not be met in a marriage.\u00a0 I believe some expectations can only be met by God himself, and frankly, this is a big concern of mine for newly marrieds who are starting out or for singles.\u00a0 I think they are expecting out of marriage what God intended us to only expect from him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They are expecting their mate to meet needs that the Lord intends to meet himself, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tright?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Exactly.\u00a0 The third thing I want you to know about expectations is some of your \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\texpectations will never be met, and there are some reasons for that.\u00a0 Number one, your \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tspouse may not be capable; or secondly, some of your expectations may be unreal.\u00a0 They \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tliterally may be too lofty, too high for another person.\u00a0 Early in our marriage, Bob, I\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tremember I wanted Barbara to go hunting and fishing with me.\u00a0 Now she did that when \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twe dated.\u00a0 It was no sweat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She loved it, didn\u2019t she?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yeah.\u00a0 [Chuckles.]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you know, you\u2019ve got to \u2013 early in the marriage you\u2019d realize what \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\thappened to these dates where we went fishing together, you know?\u00a0 Suddenly it became \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ttoo cold outside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Uh-huh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I can promise you this:\u00a0 Barbara and I are 28 into the process.\u00a0 We have a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twonderful, mellow relationship that is \u2013 it\u2019s just like a glove that fits the hand.\u00a0 I really \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tenjoy this season of our marriage.\u00a0 But you know what?\u00a0 She\u2019s still not going hunting or \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tfishing with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow what do you do with that expectation?\u00a0 You can focus on it, you can be disappointed by it, you can feel hurt by it, you can get angry, you can become resentful, and you can begin to punish the other person.\u00a0 I promise you it\u2019s not going to lead to a harmonious marriage that is filled with oneness and peace.\u00a0 You have to learn how to manage those expectations and you need to know how to deal with unmet expectations because it\u2019s not a matter of if they will occur; it\u2019s a matter of how you\u2019re going to respond.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReal quickly, four ways I think you ought to deal with unmet expectations.\u00a0 Number one, a commitment to love and forgiveness. Your marriage is never going to outgrow its need for massive doses of forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second thing that\u2019s important in responding to unmet expectations:\u00a0 communication and understanding.\u00a0 You have to talk about it early in your marriage, you have to clarify your expectations, you have to clarify your needs, what your wants are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirdly, in responding to unmet expectations, you have to develop God\u2019s perspective of your mate and what he wants to teach you through those unmet expectations.\u00a0 First of all, Almighty God selected your spouse for you.\u00a0 That man, that woman is God\u2019s provision, his perfect provision to meet your needs.\u00a0 Now some of those needs aren\u2019t being met right now.\u00a0 Are you going to reject the provision because that provision is not doing it perfectly, or are you going to say, \u201cGod, by faith I accept who you have provided for me on the basis of who you are, that you know what you\u2019re doing, and that you, God, have an agenda in my life that you want to accomplish through these unmet expectations.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It doesn\u2019t always feel good when that\u2019s going on, but you\u2019re right.\u00a0 The Bible says \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthat when we encounter various trials, God is working out character in our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, you just mentioned, Bob, one of the verses I had down here.\u00a0 James, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tchapter 1, verses 2 through 8 says to count it all joy.\u00a0 It says respond in faith, and thirdly, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tit encourages us to ask for wisdom when we encounter trials.\u00a0 Romans 8:28 tells us that \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tall things work together for good.\u00a0 First Thessalonians 5 says to give thanks in all things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow in the Greek, that means all \u2026 [laughter] \u2026 that means everything.\u00a0 Philippians \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t4:11-13 \u2026 Paul is writing about his troubles.\u00a0 He said, \u201cI\u2019ve learned contentment \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tregardless of my circumstances that Christ is sufficient.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt could be that in your circumstances right now there\u2019s an unmet expectation by your spouse where Jesus Christ is knocking at your door wanting to be your sufficiency.\u00a0 Romans 5 talks about how suffering and trials and difficulties and disappointment produce proven character, growth and hope.\u00a0 All those things come as a result of us responding by faith to God\u2019s agenda in our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that really leads me to the fourth way we\u2019re to respond to unmet expectations:\u00a0 don\u2019t give up on your dreams.\u00a0 That means don\u2019t throw away the yardstick.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, that\u2019s what a lot of young couples do, Dennis.\u00a0 They face these expectations \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthat are unmet, and the first thought is \u201cI made a big mistake.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s like you go to the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tstore, you thought you were buying one product, you come home and unwrap it and it\u2019s \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tanother completely different product.\u00a0 And you say, \u201cI have to go back to the store and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\texchange this product for another product.\u201d\u00a0 And you\u2019re saying stick with what you \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbrought home from the store?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m saying the nature of covenant love is commitment, and the thing that is \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdifferent about a Christian is that they\u2019ve made a vow that they\u2019ve made before Almighty \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod that they won\u2019t give up, that they\u2019re not going to toss the towel, but that they are \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tgoing to love that person, and in some situations, may be married to a person who is not a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbeliever.\u00a0 The Bible is clear that our actions, our attitudes sanctifies; it has a cleansing \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\timpact on the other person\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tUnmet expectations are a reality in all relationships, and regardless of how you\u2019ve experienced that disappointment, I believe we have a responsibility before God to respond appropriately.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, I\u2019ve heard about families that planned for years the big trip to \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDisneyworld.\u00a0 They were going to go \u2026 or whatever \u2026 some theme park that the whole \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tfamily was going to go to, and they arrive at the park only to find that it\u2019s raining and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tcold and dreary.\u00a0 And everything they thought that amusement park vacation was going \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tto be winds up being a bust.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s a picture of how some couples wind up in their \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tfirst few years of marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yeah, and you wake up and you do a little inspection of your relationship, and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyou have termites in your troth, termites in your vows.\u00a0 They\u2019re eating away at the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tinfrastructure of your marriage, and your disappointment is beginning to turn into \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdisillusionment, and you\u2019re beginning to question your commitment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, I sat down in preparation for this broadcast and the ones we\u2019re going to do over the next couple of days, and I wrote out 25 areas where we must make adjustments, and if we don\u2019t make the adjustments and deal with the proper expectations, I think we\u2019re going to end up like you described.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to feel like we\u2019ve gone to Disneyland on a day it rained or maybe on a day where there was a storm that blew through, and instead of being an amusement park, instead it ends up being a place of pain, of punishment, and not at all for the reason we got married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yeah, for some couples it\u2019s not just \u201cwe\u2019re not having as much fun as we thought \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twe\u2019d have; for some couples, \u201cwe\u2019re not having any fun at all,\u201d and that\u2019s when you \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbegin to say, \u201cIs there a way out?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yeah, and I\u2019m saying the way to build that marriage is to eliminate that escape \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tclause and say, \u201cWe\u2019re not leaving.\u00a0 Now how do we live with one another and how do \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twe adjust our expectations appropriately?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, I remember Dr. Norm Wright being here one time, and he said that in a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2026 in a typical marriage, it takes three to five years for couples to go through this early \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tadjustment phase.\u00a0 And I remember you responding to that and saying that\u2019s when most \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tcouples call it quits, that\u2019s when they bail out, is in the three- to five-year window.\u00a0 So \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthere\u2019s a juncture here where husbands and wives have got to realize this is where we are.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re in that adjustment phase.\u00a0 They both are going to have to make some concessions, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\taren\u2019t they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, as we go through this list of 25 areas where we need to make adjustments, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyou\u2019re going to hear several themes repeated over and over and over again as I talk about \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\thow to respond to these.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Are you going to read through the whole list for us?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I wasn\u2019t planning on it today, but I\u2019ll tell you what we\u2019ll do.\u00a0 We\u2019ll post it \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ton the website, and I will \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is what we\u2019re going to talk about over the next couple of days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2026 yeah, and I will \u2026 I will read through it here quickly.\u00a0 Now keep in mind \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthese are adjustments that we\u2019ve got to make.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all, finances.\u00a0 That\u2019s a biggie.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber two:\u00a0 relating to the opposite sex after we\u2019re married.\u00a0 Now I\u2019ve got some things to say about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLoneliness.\u00a0 Most people don\u2019t think loneliness is an issue in marriage.\u00a0 After we get married it\u2019s a huge issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In-laws demand adjustments.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber five:\u00a0 romance and affection.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t say sex.\u00a0 Romance and affection.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why are you looking at me like that?\u00a0 [Chuckles.]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number six \u2026 because I know how a man thinks, and this is what a woman is \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\texpecting here \u2026 number six:\u00a0 spiritual growth together.\u00a0 This is huge.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got some \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tstatistics on this that we\u2019ve found from our family needs survey that we\u2019ve taken all \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tacross the country in more than a hundred churches.\u00a0 This is a massive area of need today \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tand one where many couples are not making the right adjustments.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber seven:\u00a0 roles of husband and wife.\u00a0 You know something about this.\u00a0 You wrote \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyour book, \u201cThe Christian Husband,\u201d to help equip men to know what their job \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdescription really is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber eight:\u00a0 communication.\u00a0 [Chuckles.]\u00a0 Oh, man, that\u2019s all capital letters there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Chuckles.]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number nine:\u00a0 values and lifestyle choices.\u00a0 We\u2019re different and nowhere does it \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tcome than when we start talking about our values.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber ten:\u00a0 trials and suffering.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber eleven:\u00a0 the choice of where we go to church.\u00a0 That\u2019s massive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Uh-huh, that\u2019s big.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number twelve:\u00a0 differences.\u00a0 This is everything from male and female \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdifferences to backgrounds, and preferences, and I\u2019m going to talk about the four ways \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyou can load a dishwasher.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Chuckles] Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> All right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> All right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There are four ways to load a dishwasher.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to hear it first right here \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ton \u201cFamilyLife Today.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirteen:\u00a0 travel.\u00a0 That\u2019s when your spouse or you begin to hit the road.\u00a0 That brings enormous pressure and brings great adjustments to a marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFourteen:\u00a0 debt \u2026 D-E-B-T.\u00a0 Oh, that\u2019s huge.\u00a0 That\u2019s massive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFifteen:\u00a0 children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSixteen:\u00a0 entertainment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Choices you make about entertainment?\u00a0 What you\u2019re going to see, what you \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twon\u2019t?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Managing the media monster.\u00a0 That\u2019s a huge one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSeventeen:\u00a0 weekends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Some of our biggest fights came on the weekends early in our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEighteen:\u00a0 traditions, holidays, celebrations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNineteen:\u00a0 how you resolve conflict.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwenty:\u00a0 work, career.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwenty-one:\u00a0 vacations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What you do with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwenty-two:\u00a0 priorities and the schedule monster.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwenty-three:\u00a0 sex.\u00a0 You knew it would make the list.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwenty-four:\u00a0 the roles of becoming a mother and a father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Who does what there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 If the role of becoming a husband or wife is a big \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tadjustment, I promise you this one catches a lot of these young couples off guard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd number twenty-five is the biggest of all, and I\u2019m not going to share it today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Chuckles] It\u2019s \u2026 well, it\u2019s on the website so folks can go see it on the website.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to ask them to leave it blank on the website.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh!\u00a0 [Chuckles.]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to make them listen to the end to get number twenty-five, but it is the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthing that causes the biggest adjustment in the marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to talk through these 25 over the next few days, and you really deal \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twith all of these at different points in your book, \u201cStarting Your Marriage Right.\u201d\u00a0 This is \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ta devotional for couples for the early years of marriage.\u00a0 You\u2019ve put it together around 52 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tchapters so that once a week a couple can sit down on a date night, read a chapter \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ttogether and answer the questions at the end and begin to make some of these \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tadjustments and modify their expectations over it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right, and all this week we\u2019re going to be challenging couples to do two things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I\u2019m going to challenge the singles to listen carefully because you can learn a ton \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tjust by eavesdropping in on these issues and beginning to properly align your \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\texpectations.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to have right expectations as a single person, but we\u2019re going to \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tchallenge engaged couples and newly married couples to go through this material, either \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tas a couple or with a mentor.\u00a0 Find a couple who will take you through this material over \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthe first 12 months, 24 months of your marriage.\u00a0 I\u2019m telling you, it will be some of the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbest investments you ever make.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then we\u2019re going to challenge couples who\u2019ve been married, I don\u2019t know, five to eight to ten years or so \u2026 we\u2019d like to challenge you to consider adopting a newly married couple, picking up this book and just taking these chapters, and maybe tossing the book in their lap and just saying to them, \u201cPick a chapter you\u2019d like for us to discuss next month,\u201d and then meet with them once a month for a year, maybe two years, and just talk about some of these adjustments we\u2019re discussing here.\u00a0 All of these 25, including the one I didn\u2019t mention, are in the book, but you\u2019ll have to hunt for number 25.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you\u2019d like to get a copy of the book, <em>Starting Your Marriage Right<\/em>. You can go \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tto our web site FamilyLifeToday.com and the information is available there.\u00a0 Again \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twhether you are a newly married or you know someone who is about to be married, this \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tis a great investment you can make in their marriage.\u00a0 I love your idea about adopting a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyounger couple and helping them to walk through this material.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain the book is available from us at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can order online if you\u2019d like or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 For those listeners who have been married for a couple of years already and they are thinking we don\u2019t need that book we encourage you to get\u00a0 a copy of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s daily devotional called <em>Moments With You<\/em>.\u00a0 Something that every married couple can spend to in together on a daily basis to help you to grow closer to one another and closer in your walk with Christ.\u00a0 Again the information for both these books can be found at FamilyLifeToday.com or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 When you get in touch with us someone on our team will let you know how you can have the resources sent to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that many of our listeners are aware of the fact that this month we have had \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tfriends of the ministry who have made available a very generous matching gift \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\topportunity.\u00a0 All month long we have been encouraging listeners if you\u2019re able to help us \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ttake full advantage of this matching gift we would love to hear from you.\u00a0 We want to \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthank those of you who have already contacted us because today is a holiday if you \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twanted to make a donation to FamilyLifeToday you\u2019d want to do that online you want to \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdo that at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 These donations this month are being matched on a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdollar for dollar basis up to a total of $356,000.\u00a0 We\u2019re so grateful to those of you who \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\thave already responded.\u00a0 If you can help with a donation just go to FamilyLifeToday.com \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tmake your donation online and let me say thanks in advance for your financial support.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are challenging economic times for all of us and we appreciate those of you who \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\thave rallied to help support the ministry here in the month of May.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow we are going to dive in to the list of difficult adjustments couples face during\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthe early years of marriage.\u00a0 If you know someone who is a newlywed or about to be call \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthem and invite them to listen to tomorrow\u2019s program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see you next time for another edition of \u201cFamilyLife Today.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 Help for \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["13.08M"],"filesize_raw":["13713450"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-301826.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-301826.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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may now kiss the bride!\"","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-05-25.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Begin taped segment.]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenny:<\/strong> Dear Mom, I\u2019m just writing again to thank you and Dad for the beautiful \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twedding.\u00a0 It was everything we hoped and dreamed it would be.\u00a0 Chad and made it home on Thursday.\u00a0 I tried calling a couple of times, but you didn\u2019t answer.\u00a0 What are you guys doing?\u00a0 Anyway, isn\u2019t e-mail great?\u00a0 Write me back, okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur honeymoon was dreamy.\u00a0 We walked on the beach and talked for hours.\u00a0 Chad even cooked dinner for me one night.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you the details when I come home \u2026 I mean, when I see you and Dad next weekend, if that\u2019s okay.\u00a0 Oh, is it okay for me and Chad to come over next weekend?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know how you warned me that marriage can have its bumps?\u00a0 Well, as a now-married woman, I\u2019m just going to have to disagree with you.\u00a0 Mom, Chad is wonderful.\u00a0 We never fight.\u00a0 Tell Dad that Chad is different; he\u2019s kind and understanding and he wants to talk about what I want to talk about.\u00a0 Oh, and tell Dad that Chad does, too, let me hold the remote control, sometimes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, Mom, marriage isn\u2019t that much different than dating, except that now we\u2019re together all the time.\u00a0 Well, there are a few differences, but Chad says he\u2019s just fine with my favorite flannel pajamas and my electric blanket.\u00a0 I think he means it, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, got to go.\u00a0 Chad\u2019s taking me on a surprise date tonight. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLove you forever, Jenny\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenny:<\/strong> Hi, Baby!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chad:<\/strong> Hey, Honey Bear, you ready to go?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenny:<\/strong> I\u2019m ready, but what\u2019s the surprise?\u00a0 Where are we going?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chad:<\/strong> Check it out!\u00a0 Arena football tickets, 40-yard line!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenny:<\/strong> Arena football?\u00a0 Chad!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chad:<\/strong> You said you like sports.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenny:<\/strong> I wanted to go out to eat!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chad:<\/strong> Well, they\u2019ve got corndogs and stuff there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jenny:<\/strong> I don\u2019t want to go to a stinky arena \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[End taped segment.]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And welcome to \u201cFamilyLife Today.\u201d\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Monday \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tedition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I think there is something that is common to most young couples, something they experience during the first few weeks and months, years of their marriage.\u00a0 Do you know what it is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve got an idea, but I don\u2019t know exactly what you\u2019re thinking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019m thinking this:\u00a0 \u201cSurprise!!\u201d\u00a0 Do you know what I mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> [Laughing] I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The first few years of marriage you go through the engagement period, you know \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tone another, you get along so well, everything is just \u2013 it\u2019s just going to be wonderful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You\u2019re saying that no amount of preparation can fully equip them for handling \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tall the adjustments that they\u2019re going to face in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There are just a lot of surprises in the early years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There really are, and I want to read a verse that I don\u2019t know that I\u2019ve ever heard \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tanother person apply to a newly married couple starting out their relationship together, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbut Proverbs, chapter 13, verse 12, is a very familiar verse.\u00a0 \u201cHope deferred makes the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\theart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow think of the contrast there.\u00a0 Illness, sickness [chuckles] contrasted with a tree of life \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2026 fruit bearing, enjoyment, shade, comfort, sturdiness \u2026 all of the things that \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\taccompany a tree \u2026 it\u2019s important that a newly married couple fulfill their hopes and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdreams.\u00a0 If they don\u2019t, the opposite of that is hope deferred or unmet expectations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Everybody goes into marriage with lots of hopes, lots of dreams, and yet there is a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twake-up call at some point where you go, \u201cI never knew this about you, I didn\u2019t think \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyou\u2019d act this way, you do things differently than you used to when we were dating.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we have to begin to make those subtle adjustments in order to make a marriage, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tmake a relationship work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right, and the longer we remain single, I think, the more expectations we \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbring into the marriage relationship.\u00a0 I think our expectations when we\u2019re younger \u2026 18, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t19, 20, and so forth \u2026 well, those expectations are idealized, but I don\u2019t think we have \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthe number of them that we accumulate in our 20s.\u00a0 And I brought an illustration today to \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tshow to our radio listeners.\u00a0 And I have in my hand here \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019ve been down to the hardware store, haven\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019ve been down to the hardware store.\u00a0 I have a yardstick, and let\u2019s say that this \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyardstick, 36 inches long, represents the expectations that a woman or a man brings into a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tmarriage relationship.\u00a0 And I think what begins to happen is the following.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You just broke it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I just broke off two pieces.\u00a0 The first one, well, it\u2019s between the 31 and the 32 \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Uh-huh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2026 and the second was around 27-1\/2.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You\u2019re breaking off about 5, 6 inches at a time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m saying that expectations begin to get whittled down until you\u2019re left with a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tfew expectations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s about a foot of them there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yeah, there\u2019s about 9-1\/2 inches of expectations there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow I want to ask you a question, Bob.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got another yardstick here that\u2019s fully in \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tplace.\u00a0 This is \u2026 this one\u2019s not \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It\u2019s solid.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2026 not broken.\u00a0 What do you call the difference between the broken yardstick, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthe 9-1\/2 inches that\u2019s in my left hand, and the 36-inch yardstick that\u2019s in my right hand?\u00a0 What do you call the difference between these two?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I\u2019d call it about 26-1\/2 inches is what I\u2019d call it [laughter].\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Good math, good math.\u00a0 What you\u2019d call this is failure or unmet expectation, or \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twhat I would call the unmet expectation syndrome, and this syndrome occurs to every \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tnewly married couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is where you take the difference between what you thought things were going \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tto be \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The 36 inches \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right, and the reality that you\u2019re living with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> The 9-1\/2 inches you\u2019re left with.\u00a0 Here\u2019s the syndrome.\u00a0 The first thing that \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\thappens is we have high expectations.\u00a0 That will result at some point in the relationship \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tof unmet expectation.\u00a0 That gives way to disappointment, which in turn manifests itself as \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\thurt, and can at that point turn into anger, and anger turned toward the other person \u2026 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyour spouse \u2026 results in punishment.\u00a0 And if you don\u2019t make the necessary adjustments \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tto your expectations early in your marriage, then I believe you\u2019re going to end up with\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tjust a piece of the yardstick.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think the way God intended it was for us to end up \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twith only a few inches of the yardstick.\u00a0 I think we were intended to have hope and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\texpectations in the marriage relationship, but it has to be done in a healthy way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got three points I want to make quickly about expectations.\u00a0 First of all, expectations in a marriage relationship are not wrong, but they\u2019ve got to be kept under control and managed, I believe, biblically.\u00a0 We really have to bring what our desires of our hearts are before the scriptures and make sure we\u2019re not just being selfish.\u00a0 Some people have expectations so high that frankly they\u2019re running in conflict with the scripture and they are simply not going to be met.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat really leads me to the second one.\u00a0 All of your expectations will not be met in a marriage.\u00a0 I believe some expectations can only be met by God himself, and frankly, this is a big concern of mine for newly marrieds who are starting out or for singles.\u00a0 I think they are expecting out of marriage what God intended us to only expect from him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> They are expecting their mate to meet needs that the Lord intends to meet himself, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tright?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Exactly.\u00a0 The third thing I want you to know about expectations is some of your \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\texpectations will never be met, and there are some reasons for that.\u00a0 Number one, your \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tspouse may not be capable; or secondly, some of your expectations may be unreal.\u00a0 They \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tliterally may be too lofty, too high for another person.\u00a0 Early in our marriage, Bob, I\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tremember I wanted Barbara to go hunting and fishing with me.\u00a0 Now she did that when \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twe dated.\u00a0 It was no sweat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> She loved it, didn\u2019t she?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yeah.\u00a0 [Chuckles.]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you know, you\u2019ve got to \u2013 early in the marriage you\u2019d realize what \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\thappened to these dates where we went fishing together, you know?\u00a0 Suddenly it became \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ttoo cold outside.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Uh-huh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I can promise you this:\u00a0 Barbara and I are 28 into the process.\u00a0 We have a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twonderful, mellow relationship that is \u2013 it\u2019s just like a glove that fits the hand.\u00a0 I really \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tenjoy this season of our marriage.\u00a0 But you know what?\u00a0 She\u2019s still not going hunting or \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tfishing with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow what do you do with that expectation?\u00a0 You can focus on it, you can be disappointed by it, you can feel hurt by it, you can get angry, you can become resentful, and you can begin to punish the other person.\u00a0 I promise you it\u2019s not going to lead to a harmonious marriage that is filled with oneness and peace.\u00a0 You have to learn how to manage those expectations and you need to know how to deal with unmet expectations because it\u2019s not a matter of if they will occur; it\u2019s a matter of how you\u2019re going to respond.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReal quickly, four ways I think you ought to deal with unmet expectations.\u00a0 Number one, a commitment to love and forgiveness. Your marriage is never going to outgrow its need for massive doses of forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second thing that\u2019s important in responding to unmet expectations:\u00a0 communication and understanding.\u00a0 You have to talk about it early in your marriage, you have to clarify your expectations, you have to clarify your needs, what your wants are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirdly, in responding to unmet expectations, you have to develop God\u2019s perspective of your mate and what he wants to teach you through those unmet expectations.\u00a0 First of all, Almighty God selected your spouse for you.\u00a0 That man, that woman is God\u2019s provision, his perfect provision to meet your needs.\u00a0 Now some of those needs aren\u2019t being met right now.\u00a0 Are you going to reject the provision because that provision is not doing it perfectly, or are you going to say, \u201cGod, by faith I accept who you have provided for me on the basis of who you are, that you know what you\u2019re doing, and that you, God, have an agenda in my life that you want to accomplish through these unmet expectations.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It doesn\u2019t always feel good when that\u2019s going on, but you\u2019re right.\u00a0 The Bible says \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthat when we encounter various trials, God is working out character in our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, you just mentioned, Bob, one of the verses I had down here.\u00a0 James, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tchapter 1, verses 2 through 8 says to count it all joy.\u00a0 It says respond in faith, and thirdly, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tit encourages us to ask for wisdom when we encounter trials.\u00a0 Romans 8:28 tells us that \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tall things work together for good.\u00a0 First Thessalonians 5 says to give thanks in all things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow in the Greek, that means all \u2026 [laughter] \u2026 that means everything.\u00a0 Philippians \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t4:11-13 \u2026 Paul is writing about his troubles.\u00a0 He said, \u201cI\u2019ve learned contentment \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tregardless of my circumstances that Christ is sufficient.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt could be that in your circumstances right now there\u2019s an unmet expectation by your spouse where Jesus Christ is knocking at your door wanting to be your sufficiency.\u00a0 Romans 5 talks about how suffering and trials and difficulties and disappointment produce proven character, growth and hope.\u00a0 All those things come as a result of us responding by faith to God\u2019s agenda in our lives. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that really leads me to the fourth way we\u2019re to respond to unmet expectations:\u00a0 don\u2019t give up on your dreams.\u00a0 That means don\u2019t throw away the yardstick.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, that\u2019s what a lot of young couples do, Dennis.\u00a0 They face these expectations \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthat are unmet, and the first thought is \u201cI made a big mistake.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s like you go to the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tstore, you thought you were buying one product, you come home and unwrap it and it\u2019s \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tanother completely different product.\u00a0 And you say, \u201cI have to go back to the store and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\texchange this product for another product.\u201d\u00a0 And you\u2019re saying stick with what you \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbrought home from the store?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m saying the nature of covenant love is commitment, and the thing that is \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdifferent about a Christian is that they\u2019ve made a vow that they\u2019ve made before Almighty \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod that they won\u2019t give up, that they\u2019re not going to toss the towel, but that they are \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tgoing to love that person, and in some situations, may be married to a person who is not a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbeliever.\u00a0 The Bible is clear that our actions, our attitudes sanctifies; it has a cleansing \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\timpact on the other person\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tUnmet expectations are a reality in all relationships, and regardless of how you\u2019ve experienced that disappointment, I believe we have a responsibility before God to respond appropriately.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, I\u2019ve heard about families that planned for years the big trip to \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDisneyworld.\u00a0 They were going to go \u2026 or whatever \u2026 some theme park that the whole \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tfamily was going to go to, and they arrive at the park only to find that it\u2019s raining and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tcold and dreary.\u00a0 And everything they thought that amusement park vacation was going \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tto be winds up being a bust.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s a picture of how some couples wind up in their \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tfirst few years of marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yeah, and you wake up and you do a little inspection of your relationship, and \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyou have termites in your troth, termites in your vows.\u00a0 They\u2019re eating away at the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tinfrastructure of your marriage, and your disappointment is beginning to turn into \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdisillusionment, and you\u2019re beginning to question your commitment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, I sat down in preparation for this broadcast and the ones we\u2019re going to do over the next couple of days, and I wrote out 25 areas where we must make adjustments, and if we don\u2019t make the adjustments and deal with the proper expectations, I think we\u2019re going to end up like you described.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to feel like we\u2019ve gone to Disneyland on a day it rained or maybe on a day where there was a storm that blew through, and instead of being an amusement park, instead it ends up being a place of pain, of punishment, and not at all for the reason we got married.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yeah, for some couples it\u2019s not just \u201cwe\u2019re not having as much fun as we thought \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twe\u2019d have; for some couples, \u201cwe\u2019re not having any fun at all,\u201d and that\u2019s when you \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbegin to say, \u201cIs there a way out?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yeah, and I\u2019m saying the way to build that marriage is to eliminate that escape \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tclause and say, \u201cWe\u2019re not leaving.\u00a0 Now how do we live with one another and how do \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twe adjust our expectations appropriately?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, I remember Dr. Norm Wright being here one time, and he said that in a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u2026 in a typical marriage, it takes three to five years for couples to go through this early \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tadjustment phase.\u00a0 And I remember you responding to that and saying that\u2019s when most \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tcouples call it quits, that\u2019s when they bail out, is in the three- to five-year window.\u00a0 So \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthere\u2019s a juncture here where husbands and wives have got to realize this is where we are.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re in that adjustment phase.\u00a0 They both are going to have to make some concessions, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\taren\u2019t they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, as we go through this list of 25 areas where we need to make adjustments, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyou\u2019re going to hear several themes repeated over and over and over again as I talk about \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\thow to respond to these.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Are you going to read through the whole list for us?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I wasn\u2019t planning on it today, but I\u2019ll tell you what we\u2019ll do.\u00a0 We\u2019ll post it \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ton the website, and I will \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is what we\u2019re going to talk about over the next couple of days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2026 yeah, and I will \u2026 I will read through it here quickly.\u00a0 Now keep in mind \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthese are adjustments that we\u2019ve got to make.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all, finances.\u00a0 That\u2019s a biggie.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber two:\u00a0 relating to the opposite sex after we\u2019re married.\u00a0 Now I\u2019ve got some things to say about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLoneliness.\u00a0 Most people don\u2019t think loneliness is an issue in marriage.\u00a0 After we get married it\u2019s a huge issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> In-laws demand adjustments.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber five:\u00a0 romance and affection.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t say sex.\u00a0 Romance and affection.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Why are you looking at me like that?\u00a0 [Chuckles.]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number six \u2026 because I know how a man thinks, and this is what a woman is \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\texpecting here \u2026 number six:\u00a0 spiritual growth together.\u00a0 This is huge.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got some \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tstatistics on this that we\u2019ve found from our family needs survey that we\u2019ve taken all \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tacross the country in more than a hundred churches.\u00a0 This is a massive area of need today \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tand one where many couples are not making the right adjustments.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber seven:\u00a0 roles of husband and wife.\u00a0 You know something about this.\u00a0 You wrote \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyour book, \u201cThe Christian Husband,\u201d to help equip men to know what their job \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdescription really is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber eight:\u00a0 communication.\u00a0 [Chuckles.]\u00a0 Oh, man, that\u2019s all capital letters there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Chuckles.]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number nine:\u00a0 values and lifestyle choices.\u00a0 We\u2019re different and nowhere does it \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tcome than when we start talking about our values.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber ten:\u00a0 trials and suffering.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber eleven:\u00a0 the choice of where we go to church.\u00a0 That\u2019s massive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Uh-huh, that\u2019s big.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Number twelve:\u00a0 differences.\u00a0 This is everything from male and female \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdifferences to backgrounds, and preferences, and I\u2019m going to talk about the four ways \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyou can load a dishwasher.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Chuckles] Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> All right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> All right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> There are four ways to load a dishwasher.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to hear it first right here \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ton \u201cFamilyLife Today.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThirteen:\u00a0 travel.\u00a0 That\u2019s when your spouse or you begin to hit the road.\u00a0 That brings enormous pressure and brings great adjustments to a marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFourteen:\u00a0 debt \u2026 D-E-B-T.\u00a0 Oh, that\u2019s huge.\u00a0 That\u2019s massive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFifteen:\u00a0 children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSixteen:\u00a0 entertainment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Choices you make about entertainment?\u00a0 What you\u2019re going to see, what you \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twon\u2019t?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Managing the media monster.\u00a0 That\u2019s a huge one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSeventeen:\u00a0 weekends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Some of our biggest fights came on the weekends early in our marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEighteen:\u00a0 traditions, holidays, celebrations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNineteen:\u00a0 how you resolve conflict.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwenty:\u00a0 work, career.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwenty-one:\u00a0 vacations.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What you do with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oh, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwenty-two:\u00a0 priorities and the schedule monster.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwenty-three:\u00a0 sex.\u00a0 You knew it would make the list.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwenty-four:\u00a0 the roles of becoming a mother and a father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Who does what there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 If the role of becoming a husband or wife is a big \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tadjustment, I promise you this one catches a lot of these young couples off guard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd number twenty-five is the biggest of all, and I\u2019m not going to share it today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> [Chuckles] It\u2019s \u2026 well, it\u2019s on the website so folks can go see it on the website.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to ask them to leave it blank on the website.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Oh!\u00a0 [Chuckles.]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m going to make them listen to the end to get number twenty-five, but it is the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthing that causes the biggest adjustment in the marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019re going to talk through these 25 over the next few days, and you really deal \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twith all of these at different points in your book, \u201cStarting Your Marriage Right.\u201d\u00a0 This is \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ta devotional for couples for the early years of marriage.\u00a0 You\u2019ve put it together around 52 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tchapters so that once a week a couple can sit down on a date night, read a chapter \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ttogether and answer the questions at the end and begin to make some of these \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tadjustments and modify their expectations over it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right, and all this week we\u2019re going to be challenging couples to do two things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I\u2019m going to challenge the singles to listen carefully because you can learn a ton \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tjust by eavesdropping in on these issues and beginning to properly align your \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\texpectations.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to have right expectations as a single person, but we\u2019re going to \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tchallenge engaged couples and newly married couples to go through this material, either \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tas a couple or with a mentor.\u00a0 Find a couple who will take you through this material over \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthe first 12 months, 24 months of your marriage.\u00a0 I\u2019m telling you, it will be some of the \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tbest investments you ever make.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then we\u2019re going to challenge couples who\u2019ve been married, I don\u2019t know, five to eight to ten years or so \u2026 we\u2019d like to challenge you to consider adopting a newly married couple, picking up this book and just taking these chapters, and maybe tossing the book in their lap and just saying to them, \u201cPick a chapter you\u2019d like for us to discuss next month,\u201d and then meet with them once a month for a year, maybe two years, and just talk about some of these adjustments we\u2019re discussing here.\u00a0 All of these 25, including the one I didn\u2019t mention, are in the book, but you\u2019ll have to hunt for number 25.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you\u2019d like to get a copy of the book, <em>Starting Your Marriage Right<\/em>. You can go \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tto our web site FamilyLifeToday.com and the information is available there.\u00a0 Again \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twhether you are a newly married or you know someone who is about to be married, this \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tis a great investment you can make in their marriage.\u00a0 I love your idea about adopting a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tyounger couple and helping them to walk through this material.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain the book is available from us at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can order online if you\u2019d like or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 For those listeners who have been married for a couple of years already and they are thinking we don\u2019t need that book we encourage you to get\u00a0 a copy of Dennis and Barbara Rainey\u2019s daily devotional called <em>Moments With You<\/em>.\u00a0 Something that every married couple can spend to in together on a daily basis to help you to grow closer to one another and closer in your walk with Christ.\u00a0 Again the information for both these books can be found at FamilyLifeToday.com or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 When you get in touch with us someone on our team will let you know how you can have the resources sent to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that many of our listeners are aware of the fact that this month we have had \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tfriends of the ministry who have made available a very generous matching gift \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\topportunity.\u00a0 All month long we have been encouraging listeners if you\u2019re able to help us \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ttake full advantage of this matching gift we would love to hear from you.\u00a0 We want to \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthank those of you who have already contacted us because today is a holiday if you \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\twanted to make a donation to FamilyLifeToday you\u2019d want to do that online you want to \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdo that at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 These donations this month are being matched on a \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tdollar for dollar basis up to a total of $356,000.\u00a0 We\u2019re so grateful to those of you who \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\thave already responded.\u00a0 If you can help with a donation just go to FamilyLifeToday.com \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tmake your donation online and let me say thanks in advance for your financial support.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are challenging economic times for all of us and we appreciate those of you who \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\thave rallied to help support the ministry here in the month of May.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTomorrow we are going to dive in to the list of difficult adjustments couples face during\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthe early years of marriage.\u00a0 If you know someone who is a newlywed or about to be call \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tthem and invite them to listen to tomorrow\u2019s program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see you next time for another edition of \u201cFamilyLife Today.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 Help for \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>www.FamilyLife.com<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/301826","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=301826"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=301826"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=301826"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=301826"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=301826"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=301826"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=301826"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}