{"id":301824,"date":"2009-05-15T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-15T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules-part-2\/"},"modified":"2009-05-15T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-05-15T15:00:00","slug":"teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules-part-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Teaching Teens to Follow the Rules, Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Who rules the roost at your home&#8211;you or your teen?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-05-15.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"10.62M","filesize_raw":"11137398","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2855],"tags":[4721],"podcast_series":[7646],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301824","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-teens","tag-teen","podcast_series-teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301824\/teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules-part-2","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301824\/teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules-part-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"0d67CKrUbd\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules-part-2\/\">Teaching Teens to Follow the Rules, Part 2<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules-part-2\/embed\/#?secret=0d67CKrUbd\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Teaching Teens to Follow the Rules, Part 2&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"0d67CKrUbd\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis Rainey:\u00a0 Ambiguity will cost you.\u00a0 If you\u2019re not clear around the rules, they are clear in how to argue their case.\u00a0 They know how to bring about dump truck loads full of self doubt.\u00a0 They know how to cause you to have temporary memory loss, where you begin to question, \u201cWas I there?\u00a0 Did I say that?\u00a0 Am I the mother?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow many of you have been there, huh?\u00a0 Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Musical transition] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, May 15th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 And today Dennis has some advice for us as parents on how we can stand firm, even when we think sometimes we are just losing our minds.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Musical transition] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 One of the things we\u2019re talking about this week is how as parents we can help our teenagers by establishing some guidelines.\u00a0 We\u2019re trying to use a softer word than \u201crules\u201d or \u201cboundaries\u201d because, you know, children don\u2019t like it when you talk about rules or boundaries.\u00a0 But guidelines \u2013 they\u2019ll soften up to something like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You can couch them however you want to couch them.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t have some boundaries and rules in your family, your children are going to rule the roost.\u00a0 And we must, as parents, clearly define the boundaries and the rules, especially for teenagers.\u00a0 Now, you need them all the way through for children.\u00a0 But what brings the sanity and encouragement is when you\u2019ve got it clearly defined, and your teenager understands and you understand.\u00a0 That way you can determine success or failure, Bob.\u00a0 A lot of times, it\u2019s impossible to know if the teenager has really obeyed you because you\u2019ve not made it clear exactly what they\u2019re to do.\u00a0 Like \u201cclean the room.\u201d\u00a0 What does that mean?\u00a0 And by when?\u00a0 And who\u2019s supposed to do it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And what is clean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\u00a0 And I think it\u2019s so important for parents, especially husbands and wives, to have a few \u2013 not many \u2013 but a few rules.\u00a0 In fact, Barbara and I went out, just the other night, on our date night and the entire purpose of the evening was to define our rules for the phone and the computer.\u00a0 And that sounds easy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We\u2019ve had that date at our house about four times and we\u2019ve defined it over and over again.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m telling you.\u00a0 It\u2019s not easy.\u00a0 Right now we have a fourteen, a sixteen and an eighteen year old.\u00a0 And it\u2019s fun.\u00a0 I mean, it really is fun.\u00a0 The phone rings off the hook.\u00a0 The boys are lined up like airplanes at O Hare Airport coming down our driveway.\u00a0 I mean, they\u2019re on the phone; they\u2019re circling our house\u2026.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And Dad\u2019s there with the baseball house to meet them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I\u2019m there ready to interview them.\u00a0 But you know, you\u2019ve got to have some boundaries around the phone and the computer.\u00a0 Otherwise, because of the amount of communication coming in to our families, other people are going to intrude.\u00a0 You\u2019re not going to have any privacy.\u00a0 Over the next couple of days, I share some principles about boundaries that I think every parent needs to heed as he or she raises a teenager to obey those rules.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 We heard part one of this message yesterday on the broadcast.\u00a0 This is a message that was given to our staff shortly after your book <em>Parenting Today\u2019s Adolescent<\/em> had been released, and everybody on the staff had a copy of the book and we were already hearing back from staff couples who were saying, \u201cIt\u2019s such a helpful book.\u00a0 It\u2019s given us practical insight into how to raise our children.\u201d\u00a0 And the response to this message was also very affirming from the staff because it helped them know that the Rainey house is no different than anybody else\u2019s house.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got challenges just like the rest of us.\u00a0 And you\u2019re doing your best as a dad, and Barbara as a mom, trying to do what the Scriptures say as you raise your children.\u00a0 This is part two of a message from our host, Dennis Rainey, on how we can teach our teenagers to follow the rules.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Musical transition] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis [in front of audience]:<\/strong> A second thing, though, that we need to do is we need to be in agreement with our spouses about the rules.\u00a0 Be in agreement with our spouses about the rules, and the penalty for breaking the rules.\u00a0 I received a national survey and report from the Family First Foundation.\u00a0 It\u2019s called \u201cKids and Violence.\u201d\u00a0 And in this report, which was quite extensive, one of the key findings of this report was, the thing that keeps teenagers from youth violence is parents who are still married and still committed to one another.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese rule breakers \u2013 these kids who commit violent crimes have been strengthened just by the simplicity of parents who have maintained their commitment to one another.\u00a0 And I think that\u2019s where we\u2019ve got to stat.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to be together in our covenant and our commitment, but it goes beyond that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur children have tried to drive Barbara and me apart and drive wedges between us, just like I did when I was a teenager.\u00a0 I can remember that if I went to my mom and she said no, I would slip off and try to slide in behind the enemy lines and head off dad before he talked to her, by asking Dad if he\u2019d let me go do it.\u00a0 And I knew that if it could get one of them to soften without the other one knowing it, I could build just a little wedge in there and I might get my way.\u00a0 Well, that sin has been passed down to our children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur children have tried to slip between Barbara and me.\u00a0 They\u2019ve tried to get us to disagree with one another.\u00a0 And so, if you want to raise a teenager who respects the rules, you need to do some planning.\u00a0 Spend some time together and agree with your spouse on what the rules are.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd there are a lot of areas that you need to cover:\u00a0 Curfews, television, media.\u00a0 On the list goes and we\u2019ll talk about some of those in just a second.\u00a0 But you as a couple have to sit down and you have to be in agreement around that.\u00a0 Because if you aren\u2019t, these teens and their craftiness are going to try to drive a wedge between you and your spouse and get you in disagreement with one another.\u00a0 And at that point they\u2019ll divide and conquer you.\u00a0 Just like an enemy that breaks through the lines in a battle front.\u00a0 Barbara and I have had to call a time out in discussing these issues, rather than discuss it with them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, this happened last night.\u00a0 We were talking about an issue of a rule and what it meant to break that rule, and we were discussing it in front of our children.\u00a0 And I could see it as it was beginning to happen.\u00a0 This child knew that if she could be present as the discussion was occurring, then she could be a little lawyer there in presenting her case and making her side as we\u2019re trying to make a clear \u2013 minded decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I immediately stopped the legal proceedings and told Barbara we needed to talk about that privately.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because we were getting ready to set up a triangle.\u00a0 This child was watching it happen, was going to pull our legal degree, and was going to plead her case.\u00a0 Be in agreement with your spouse about the rules, and the penalty for breaking the rules.\u00a0 Sometimes it\u2019s easy to hammer out what you believe, but you may find when the children disobey the rules, that one spouse will want to come down hard, and the other spouse will want to take the lighter road.\u00a0 The road that\u2019s a lot easier.\u00a0 And I see some of you nodding your heads who are the peacemakers.\u00a0 \u201cThey\u2019re just such sweet things.\u00a0 We don\u2019t need to hurt them, cause them pain.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tUsually, we marry each other, these two extremes.\u00a0 And so, you ask me, as one man did last week at a meeting here at FamilyLife, \u201cWhat should be the penalty if a teenager misses a curfew?\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t know for that teen.\u00a0 That\u2019s why God gave two parents to teenagers.\u00a0 So you could disagree with each other and find a middle ground.\u00a0 In the process of working it through, God will lead you and guide you to what is a meaningful, purposeful, painful, penalty for that teen so that he or she gets the point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all you\u2019ve got to keep the rules.\u00a0 Secondly, you\u2019ve got to be in agreement with your spouse about the rules and the penalty for breaking the rules.\u00a0 Thirdly, you and your spouse need to clearly establish the rules and inspect them.\u00a0 Clearly establish the rules and inspect them.\u00a0 You can write this statement down, because it\u2019s an understatement.\u00a0 Ambiguity will cost you.\u00a0 If you\u2019re not clear around the rules, they are clear in how to argue their case.\u00a0 They know how to bring about dump truck loads full of self doubt.\u00a0 They know how to cause you to have temporary memory loss, where you begin to question: \u201cWas I there?\u00a0 Did I say that?\u00a0 Am I the mother?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow many of you have been there, huh?\u00a0 Yes!\u00a0 We\u2019ve all been there.\u00a0 There\u2019s comfort there, isn\u2019t there?\u00a0 Look at what God did over in Proverbs chapter 6.\u00a0 This is one of our key passages in raising children.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because God clearly steps out of Heaven as our Heavenly Father and He tells us half a dozen things which God hates \u2013 actually seven.\u00a0 And if God hated it, then it had better reinforced in your family.\u00a0 Verse 16 of chapter 6:\u00a0 \u201cThere are six things which the Lord hates, yes, seven which are an abomination to Him.\u00a0 Haughty eyes, a lying tongue hands that shed innocent blood.\u00a0 A heart that devises wicked plans.\u00a0 Feet that run rapidly to evil.\u00a0 A false witness who utters lies, and one who spreads strife among brothers.\u201d\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s all there: tattles, sibling rivalry, lacerating tongues, deceptive spirits, pride, arrogance \u2013 it\u2019s right there in the Scripture.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll the issues that fill teenagers\u2019 hearts today, right here.\u00a0 God says He hates them.\u00a0 Drive them out of your home.\u00a0 Not the teenagers, the wrong attitude.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a couple you need to know what the rules are around issues that you\u2019re going to face as you raise your children.\u00a0 It may help you to actually help you to write these rules down and post them in a public place.\u00a0 If you\u2019re finding that you have a number of children and they are \u2013by sheer mass and by sheer number - confusing you as a mother or as a father because the rules get muddied by these youngsters, write them down in permanent ink.\u00a0 Post them in a public place there in your home, for all to see, along with the penalty with the rule.\u00a0 For such issues as study habits after school.\u00a0 Yes, there can be a snack after school, but there can be no television, no radio, and you must get your homework done before making any phone calls.\u00a0 That is the rule.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother one: phone use after school when homework is done.\u00a0 Or phone use in the evenings.\u00a0 We actually put a time limit on the length of conversations.\u00a0 I remember when Samuel turned 13.\u00a0 It was like this little boy became a handsome little boy and the phone started going bonkers.\u00a0 Girls were calling our house by the herd.\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t eat dinner because girls were calling.\u00a0 Barbara and I huddled up.\u00a0 We got together and we decided I would say something to these young ladies.\u00a0 And you know what \u2013 this is fascinating \u2013 there is a connection, a grapevine among junior high girls that is powerful.\u00a0\u00a0 If we could find the secret to this we could take over America.\u00a0 Because all I had to do was talk to one young lady and said something to the effect of, \u201cYou know, young lady, Samuel\u2019s mom and I have talked about this and we really don\u2019t think it\u2019s wise that girls should be calling boys and pursuing boys.\u00a0 And so we\u2019d really appreciate you as a young lady if you wouldn\u2019t call Samuel anymore.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was as though Bell telephone went on strike.\u00a0 Instantly, it dried up, it was gone, over, history right there.\u00a0 Put a limit on the length of conversations, the number of conversations, and if your children are really abusing the phone, ground them from the phone.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you what \u2013 Barbara and I\u00a0 - you\u2019re going to think this is very cruel.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to think we are really wicked parents, but I got to tell you.\u00a0 We have prayed for opportunities to ground our kids from the phone.\u00a0 Because when you get them loose from the phone, that means the world doesn\u2019t have access to your teenager, and guess who has all the influence and access and who gets to have the attention of the child?\u00a0 We do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Musical transition] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Well, we\u2019ve been listening together to a message from Dennis Rainey on raising teenagers and raising them with some boundaries, and I\u2019m convinced --- I\u2019m going home.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to ground our kids from the phone for a year.\u00a0 I\u2019d like a little peace and quiet and unhindered access to my children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, that wouldn\u2019t be appropriate.\u00a0 But call Mary Ann up and say, \u201cLet\u2019s go on a date.\u00a0 And let\u2019s review the rules in our household.\u201d\u00a0 Maybe you take the phone.\u00a0 And you go over for the fifth time, and you refresh your boundaries around this issue, and together you establish the rule and the consequences.\u00a0 And you shouldn\u2019t have a lot of them.\u00a0 If you got too many, it\u2019s oppressive.\u00a0 It really can be, not only for the children, but for the parents.\u00a0 Because you can\u2019t enforce it.\u00a0 And if you can\u2019t enforce it, what good is it?\u00a0 But go out together as a couple, and clearly establish your rules.\u00a0 Then sit down together as a family and review the rules and go over them with your teenager, so they clearly understand.\u00a0 And then post them.\u00a0 Post them in a public place.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> With witnesses.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That\u2019s right.\u00a0 With the consequence.\u00a0 Ok?\u00a0 So the rules become the enemy, not the parent.\u00a0 And you know,\u00a0 if you don\u2019t have a game plan and you don\u2019t have some godly counsel alongside of you.\u00a0 You\u2019re just left to blindly kind of go down the path bumping into things and you\u2019ll do many things right, because God will lead you and His Holy Spirit will guide you.\u00a0 But it really helps to have a resource alongside you of someone who\u2019s already gone ahead of you and made a lot of mistakes in advance and who\u2019s willing to share with you those lessons learned.\u00a0 Not only what a person did right, but also when they fail.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And that\u2019s one of the things I\u2019ve had a lot listeners share with me, that they most appreciate as they listen to FamilyLife Today or read the books that you and Barbara have written.\u00a0 How you\u2019re willing to be transparent about the challenges you faced and the times you haven\u2019t done it right.\u00a0 And you allow us to learn \u2013 not only from your triumphs, but from the mistakes you\u2019ve made, too.\u00a0 The book you and Barbara wrote, <em>Parenting Today\u2019s Adolescent<\/em> gives all of us the kind of game plan we\u2019ve been talking about for how we deal with the issues we\u2019re going to face as our kids go through adolescence.\u00a0 But it also gives us insight into the things that worked for you guys, and the things that didn\u2019t work, and how you applied the Scriptures as you raised your sons and your daughters.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got copies of the book, <em>Parenting Today\u2019s Adolescent,<\/em> in our FamilyLife resource center, along with other books you have written to help parents of teens.\u00a0 The book you wrote for dads, <em>Interviewing your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em> \u2013 we\u2019ve got that in our FamilyLife resource center as well.\u00a0 And the book that you and your kids wrote together, written for pre teens, called <em>So, You\u2019re About to be a Teenager.<\/em>\u00a0 Again, there\u2019s more information about all of these resource on our website which is FamilyLife Today.com.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLife Today.com.\u00a0 The information you need about these books is right there. You can order online if you\u2019d like.\u00a0 Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 When you get in touch with us, someone will let you know how you can get the books you need sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we are halfway through the month of May, which means we are halfway through our matching gift challenge that has been issued this month.\u00a0 We had some friends of the ministry who stepped forward and they offered to match every donation that we receive this month on a dollar-for-dollar basis up to a total of $356,000.\u00a0 And we appreciate their generosity.\u00a0 And we hope to take full advantage of their generosity.\u00a0 That\u2019s why we\u2019re coming to listeners and asking you, if you can make as generous a donation as possible this month.\u00a0 Whether it\u2019s ten dollars or twenty dollars or fifty or a hundred, or five hundred or a thousand, or whatever you can do, we\u2019re asking everyone to pitch in so that we can take full advantage of this matching gift opportunity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd, frankly, it could not have come at a better time.\u00a0 Some of you have heard Dennis mention this month that we about a million dollars behind this year where we were this time last year when it comes to donations.\u00a0 And so we\u2019re hoping that through this matching gift, we can make up some of that lost ground.\u00a0 We\u2019ve already taken steps as a ministry to try to deal with the financial shortfall.\u00a0 We\u2019ve had some layoffs and we\u2019ve adjusted salaries.\u00a0 We want to be good stewards of our finances.\u00a0 We\u2019re a ministry that has never gone into debt.\u00a0 We\u2019re not going to do that at this point, either.\u00a0 But we\u2019re going to ask as generous a donation as you possibly can to help support the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can do that either online at FamilyLifeToday.com or can call 1-800-FLTODAY and make a donation over the phone and I just want to say thanks in advance for whatever you\u2019re able to do to help support the ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate your financial partnership with us.\u00a0 Dennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0 You know, on the broadcast today we\u2019ve talked about the importance of boundaries and why we as parents we need to establish those boundaries and make them clear to our children.\u00a0 And, Bob, I\u2019m afraid sometimes on the broadcast, in painting life the way it is, we don\u2019t give the hope that we ought to communicate to parents.\u00a0 All this hard work pays off.\u00a0 I\u2019m telling you.\u00a0 Our children are catching much more than we realize.\u00a0 And although there may be a lot of battles, and maybe even feel like you\u2019re losing the war \u2013 I mean, just the other night Barbara said, \u201cI want to resign as a mom.\u00a0 I want to turn in my badge, you know?\u201d\u00a0 But children are worth it, and they do grow up and they do give you, even in the teenage years, those mystical moments when you catch a glimpse of God really working in their lives.\u00a0 They\u2019re maturing, they\u2019re growing up, they\u2019re becoming an adult.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob:\u00a0 You shared one of those moments as you spoke with our staff and it does give you hope in the middle of difficult circumstances.\u00a0 Let\u2019s listen together to the story that you shared.\u00a0 Here\u2019s our host, Dennis Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis:\u00a0 I have my own big fish story that I can\u2019t resist telling at this point.\u00a0 The boys and I were in Canada, a number of years ago, and it was the last day.\u00a0 And we had not caught a lunker \u2013 a trophy Northern Pike.\u00a0 But the sun was going down and it was orange on the horizon and we were fishing around this island that had huge boulders as big as cars and the water was crystal clear and you could see them cascading off into the darkness of that lake.\u00a0 And this particular area was known for some big Northern Pike to hang out.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was well after ten.\u00a0 It had to be 10:30 and the sun hadn\u2019t gone down in that far north reach of Canada.\u00a0 All of a sudden I hooked into a big one.\u00a0 I handed my pole to Samuel, because I knew it was a good one.\u00a0 So he began to reel him in, much faster than I was ready for, and I was fumbling around the back of the boat and he had the fish here, which was huge, just splashing around beside the boat.\u00a0 And the fist made a run away from the boat.\u00a0 Samuel reeled him in again.\u00a0 By then I had the net.\u00a0 And Samuel started screaming and saying, \u201cDad! Dad!\u00a0 The line broke!\u00a0 The line broke!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cNo, no, son.\u00a0 The line isn\u2019t broken.\u00a0 The fish is just right here.\u00a0 And I could watch the fish right there with the lure hanging out of its mouth.\u00a0 And it was just suspended there, about that far, under the surface of the water.\u00a0 And I said, \u201cLift him on up, lift him on up.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSamuel said, \u201cI can\u2019t, I can\u2019t the line\u2019s broke.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cNo, it\u2019s not, it\u2019s not.\u00a0 It\u2019s right here.\u201d\u00a0 And so, with my arms, I nearly went overboard as I reached into the water, all the way up to nearly my armpits, nearly tipping the boat.\u00a0 And by then the fist was four feet under the surface under the surface of the water.\u00a0 And I wrestled him to the surface, got him inside the boat.\u00a0 And I turned around to see Samuel, holding the pole with a little line, stringing down, flapping in the wind.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had illegally netted the fish.\u00a0 Not really.\u00a0 But I had gotten him.\u00a0 And we had him in the boat.\u00a0 Lunker status in Canada is forty two inches.\u00a0 And we had a yardstick in that boat, that no matter how we swished the fins of that fish together, the closest we could ever get was 41 and \u00be of an inch.\u00a0 We turned that fish back and we watched him swim away and we went back to camp.\u00a0 And here on the camp wall was a list of all the men and all the fishermen who had caught 42 inch trophy Northern Pike.\u00a0 And I\u2019ll never forget the camp host asking Samuel, \u201cHow\u2019d you do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cWe\u2019ll, I almost did it.\u201d\u00a0 Samuel at the time was 11 year of age, maybe 10.\u00a0 He said \u201cI almost did it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe guy said, \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said \u201cThe fish was one quarter of an inch too short.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I\u2019ll never forget that guy.\u00a0 He looked at that young lad and said, \u201cYou know, you\u2019re a lot more mature who listed their fish up here because a lot of those fist were shorter than that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMen who stretched the first to get their name on the board and to get a dumb little pin from the country of Canada that they\u2019d caught a lunker Northern Pike.\u00a0 If you\u2019re going to respect for the rules to your children, it means you and I have to respect them as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas \u2013 help for today; hope for tomorrow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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