{"id":301823,"date":"2009-05-14T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-14T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules-part-1\/"},"modified":"2009-05-14T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-05-14T15:00:00","slug":"teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules-part-1","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Teaching Teens to Follow the Rules, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are your kids testing your boundaries?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-05-14.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"10.56M","filesize_raw":"11073462","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2855],"tags":[2588],"podcast_series":[7646],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301823","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-teens","tag-teens","podcast_series-teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301823\/teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules-part-1","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301823\/teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules-part-1","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"DfIfFLiMGZ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules-part-1\/\">Teaching Teens to Follow the Rules, Part 1<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/teaching-teens-to-follow-the-rules-part-1\/embed\/#?secret=DfIfFLiMGZ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Teaching Teens to Follow the Rules, Part 1&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"DfIfFLiMGZ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Are your kids testing your boundaries?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-05-14.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0that\u2019s right. I need to take this message so they will hear it. Then they\u2019ll change and obey and it\u2019ll all be happy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 it\u2019s happily ever after, bob (laughing).\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got 3 points real quickly:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<ol>\n<li>\n\t\t\t\t\tYour teenager, from time to time, will manifest rebellion.\u00a0 In anger and a major pushback.\u00a0 Or, more subtle to see your child get passive and just refuse to do what you ask them to do. \n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\tKeep on training your teen in the importance of submitting to authority and obedience to authority.\u00a0 That begins with you and that means don\u2019t quit training your teenager.\u00a0 Bob, if there is a concern I have with the Christian community; it\u2019s that many Christian parents are backing out of their teenager\u2019s lives way too soon. They\u2019re quitting. Their leaving their teenager to establish their own boundaries, or get their boundaries from their friends, their peers.\u00a0 Don\u2019t stop training your teen.\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t\t<li>\n\t\t\t\t\tWe must realize, we must model what we teach to our children.\u00a0 That means our lives need to be defined biblically. And our lives need to be distinctively Christian, which means, our lives are going to have boundaries. We can\u2019t do everything. We\u2019d like to, just like our teenagers, but we can\u2019t be overgrown adolescents attempting to raise teenagers. That won\u2019t work. You\u2019re going to have a big fight and it\u2019s not going to result in your teenager\u2019s becoming mature because how can you call a young person to maturity when I\u2019m not embracing it?\n\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n\t\t\t<\/ol>\n<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> one of the things you and Barbara talked about when you were writing your book Parenting Today\u2019s Adolescent is that before parents attempt to establish the house rules, how we\u2019re going to live as a family, mom and dad have got to spend some time wrestling with what those boundaries are going to be and how you\u2019re going to establish them and hold to them and what you\u2019re going to do if a child steps over the line.\u00a0 How you\u2019re going to discipline, train, equip, coach, motivate, encourage your teenager to obey mom and dad and to follow the guidelines. And again those may be set differently from one family to another. Some families have standards in one area where another family has different standards.\u00a0 As moms and dads we have to come together and wrestle with what our priorities are going to be for our families and establish those boundaries and communicate them to our teenagers and let them know what the consequences are if they choose to violate our house rules.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of your book PTA in our FL Resource center. And you take us through in this book the common traps that will ensnare a teenager during his or her teen years. And you help us think as parents about what our standards are going to be as our teens come face-to-face with those traps.\u00a0 Whether it\u2019s drug use &amp; dating or part time jobs and dealing with school work. You really give us an opportunity in this book to wrestle with what\u2019s important as we raise our teens.\u00a0 As I mentioned, we\u2019ve got copies of the book in our FamilyLife Resource Center. You can go to our website\u2026 and we\u2019ve got information there, not only about that book, but we\u2019ve also got information on other books that you\u2019ve written about teens.\u00a0 The book you wrote for dads, Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date, and the book you and your kids wrote for teenagers called, \u201cSo You\u2019re About to be a Teenager\u201d to help your pre-teen get ready for the teen years. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain all the information about these resources can be found on our website, FLT.com. You can order online if you\u2019d like, or you can call us toll free at 1-8\/00-FL TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLook for information online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY. 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you get in touch with us let us know what resources you\u2019re looking for and we\u2019ll make arrangements to have the ones that you need sent to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, before we\u2019re done here today, there\u2019s an illustration that you shared in your message about the importance of parents living with integrity that we\u2019re going to let our listeners hear. But I need to quickly update folks to the response that we\u2019re receiving to the matching gift opportunity that we have presented to our FLT Listens over the last several weeks. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had some friends step forward this month, and offered to match every donation we received during the month of May on a dollar-for-dollar basis up to a total of $356,000.\u00a0 And that matching gift offer could not have come at a better time as some of you have heard Dennis mention, we are right now about $1 million dollars behind in donations where we were this time last year. We\u2019ve had to respond to that shortfall by laying off some staff, instituting salary reductions here at the ministry. We have taken what we believe are appropriate steps to manage our finances well, and one of those steps is to come to you as our listeners and let you know about the challenge were facing and ask you if you\u2019d consider, during the month of May, making as generous a donation as possible.\u00a0 When you do, that donation again will be matched on a dollar for dollar basis up to $356,000. So if you can help us take advantage of this matching gift, whether it\u2019s a $10 or $50 or a $100 or a $1,000.\u00a0 Whatever you can do, if you\u2019ll call 1-800 FL TODAY, make your donation over the phone, or go online at FamilyLife.com, you can donate online.\u00a0 In either case, know that the donation is being matched dollar for dollar this month and let me say thanks in advance for your generous support of this ministry.\u00a0 We do appreciate you listening; we appreciate your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we wrap things up today, we\u2019ve been talking about the importance of boundaries and the importance of character and integrity, how we need to train our children by modeling these kinds of attributes. And, Dennis, you shared a story with our staff during your message that I think we need to leave our listeners with.\u00a0 A story that makes the point that our character really does matter. It\u2019s a part of the legacy that we pass on to our children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A number of years ago, Readers Digest ran a popular story called \u201cThe catch of a lifetime.\u201d\u00a0 It was the story about a dad and a 10 year old boy who went fishing one night at 10PM.\u00a0 Just 2 hours before the bass season opened at midnight. And they\u2019d been drowning some worms catching pan fish and the little 10 year old boy, as the moon came up and the silver glint rippled across the surface of that lake where they were fishing, decided he would put on a little silver spoon lure and began casting.\u00a0 Well, wouldn\u2019t\u2019 you know it, his pole doubled over and he had a big mouth. His dad watched with pleasure as the boy muscled the big fish all the way into the net. Finally arrived at the net, he lifted it up and it was a bass.\u00a0 A monster.\u00a0 The catch of a lifetime. The father looked at his watch \u2013 2 hours before bass season opened.\u00a0\u00a0 What should he do? He said you\u2019ll have to put it back in the lake son.\u00a0 \u201cDad!!!!\u201d cried the boy.\u00a0 There will be another fish, said the father.\u00a0 Not as big as this one, said the lad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe cried as he looked around the lake. There were no other fishermen, no boats anywhere in the moonlight.\u00a0 He looked again at his father\u2026 even though no one had seen them, the boy could tell by the clarity of his father\u2019s voice that the decision was non negotiable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI love that!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe slowly worked the hook out of the lip of the huge bass and lowered it into the black water. The boy suspected that he would never again see such a fish. That was 34 years ago.\u00a0 Today the boy is a successful architect in NY City. His father\u2019s cabin is still there in the middle of that lake.\u00a0 He takes his own son and daughter\u2019s fishing from that very dock where his father took him fishing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve got to be the keeper of the standard. Your children are watching you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> FamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas \u2013 help for today; hope for tomorrow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts for you. However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website. If you've benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife. 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