{"id":301817,"date":"2009-05-04T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-05-04T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-minivan-years\/"},"modified":"2009-05-04T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-05-04T15:00:00","slug":"the-minivan-years","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-minivan-years\/","title":{"rendered":"The Minivan Years"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you sometimes feel like motherhood has you stuck in a rut somewhere between carpool and laundry?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-05-04.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"11.36M","filesize_raw":"11915140","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838],"tags":[4798,4922,2209],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9165],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301817","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","tag-kids","tag-mom","tag-parenting","cwp_profile-olivia-bruner","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301817\/the-minivan-years","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301817\/the-minivan-years","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"AsItuHszRU\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-minivan-years\/\">The Minivan Years<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-minivan-years\/embed\/#?secret=AsItuHszRU\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Minivan Years&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"AsItuHszRU\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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laundry?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-05-04.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> What is it that makes some families thrive while other families languish?\u00a0 She decided she wanted to investigate the matter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> When I was a young mom, I was constantly looking at parents with older children, and I would just look and find those families and see what is it about them that makes their family enjoyable?\u00a0 What is it about them that makes their kids enjoy their parents?\u00a0 They all decided we are going to enjoy these years.\u00a0 We're going to get up, we're going to have fun with our children, we're going to enjoy the day.\u00a0 If there is something that happens, we're going to get past it and have fun the next day.\u00a0 We're not going to take ourselves too seriously, and they all, still, to this day, those families enjoy each other's company as adults.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is FamilyLife Today for Monday, May 4th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 When you stop to consider just how important it is for your family to have fun together and has it been a while since you've had fun together as a family?\u00a0 We'll talk about that today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Monday edition.\u00a0 I think we're going to have a fun and encouraging time, especially for moms on today's program, but before we dive into that, Dennis, I know you wanted to kick things off today by bringing our listeners up to speed on some of what has been happening around here at FamilyLife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That's right, Bob.\u00a0 If you'll recall, back last December, I came to our listeners, and I asked them for help financially.\u00a0 And, as you know, many of them responded, and our year-end was a solid year-end that really did help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I'm back again wanting to report where we are now as a ministry.\u00a0 We're down about $1 million in donations from where we were this time last year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yeah, this has been a tough season for us here in the last several months.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, honestly, as a listener, I want you to know I am really proud of our senior leadership team and some of the decisions they've made.\u00a0 They've had some very tough choices to make, and they've made them.\u00a0 We've reduced our staff by 14 percent, we've instituted pay cuts between 5 percent and 10 percent.\u00a0 We operate, as a ministry, with no debt.\u00a0 We've really never had any debt and I'm glad, in times like these, we don't have debt, and we're committed to that into the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of the things we are very encouraged about right now is that we've had some friends of the ministry step forward and say during this challenging season, we'd like to help.\u00a0 They have offered to match every donation we received during the month of May on a dollar-for-dollar basis up to a total of $356,000, and that's a great opportunity for us, as a ministry, and a great opportunity for our friends who would like to help us financially at this time to see your donation doubled as a result of this matching gift.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I know that there are some of you who are struggling just like we are, and you're having to make adjustments to your budget, too.\u00a0 But what I am asking you to do is I am asking every person to do what they can do.\u00a0 If you just step up and stand with us right now as a ministry, this is a really critical time for our ministry \u2013 not just for helping FamilyLife stand strong but for enabling us to continue to minister to families in this economic crisis.\u00a0 This is a needed ministry today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> If you can help, we'd ask you to go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and make a donation of any amount.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, and, again, we're asking every one of you to just do what you can do, whatever that is \u2013 online at FamilyLifeToday.com or by calling us toll-free at 1-800-FLTODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, as a listener, I just have a very simple request \u2013 I need your help.\u00a0 Will you stand with us?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yes.\u00a0 Now, we are going to provide some encouragement for moms today and, in fact, celebrate one of the things that I know is one of your favorite things to celebrate.\u00a0 You're looking at me like, \"What are you talking about?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Minivans?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> No, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Motherhood?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Motherhood!\u00a0 That's where we are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Yay!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, I just know the name of the book that our guest on today's program is written called \"The Minivan Years,\" and it's all about motherhood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And what was your take on the minivan years when you were in them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, we never had a minivan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Oh! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We didn't.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Because you had more kids than would fit in a minivan, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Thank you.\u00a0 We had to go with a suburban because legally there were not enough seatbelts, at least in the minivans that were created \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> There were no eight-passenger minivans back in your day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I don't think so.\u00a0 And so we went right for the gas-guzzler right off the top, and actually had an Econoline Ford van to begin with, which is one of those \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> One of those multi-passenger \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Storage units for children.\u00a0 Enough of this.\u00a0 We do have a great mom with us \u2013 Olivia Bruner joins us on FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 Olivia, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Thank you, it's great to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Olivia and Kurt have joined us many times on FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 They have four children.\u00a0 Olivia is a former schoolteacher.\u00a0 She's a speaker, an author.\u00a0 She, along with Kurt, wrote \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> The book, \"Playstation Nation,\" right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Yeah, that's it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Can I ask you about that before we get into this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Sure, mm-hm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Is the phenomenon of the Playstation and the video games \u2013 back when you wrote that book a couple of years ago, it seemed like it was exploding.\u00a0 Is it still the big issue that it was back then?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Oh, yeah, it gets bigger every year.\u00a0 The video game industry now, 2008, topped the movie industry as far as moneymaking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Olivia, you've written a new book called \"The Minivan Years,\" and all of us smile when we start thinking of the time when we had to trade our four-door snazzy car that was kind of sleek and maybe was a little fast, maybe not real fast \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> I had a Pontiac Fiero \u2013 do you remember those?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Oooooooh, that was a two-door.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> It was a two-door, two seater.\u00a0 It was \u2013 well, there were kids, but they just didn't get in the Fiero.\u00a0 But there comes a time when you say goodbye to those things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And you trade up \u2013 or trade down \u2013 depending on how you look at it, to a minivan.\u00a0 But, you know, moms today are sometimes \u2013 well, some of them are trading \u2013 they're trading up or trading down, depending upon their view, of being a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Mm-hm, and it's coming from our culture.\u00a0 Motherhood is uncool just like a minivan is.\u00a0 And it's interesting \u2013 motherhood has a branding problem that, you know, we feel like we're trying to get out of our mother years and get out of that because that's the uncool stage.\u00a0 And when we decided to write the book, there was a study that came out in 2007, where it showed that minivans were on the decline in sales. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so the marketing people got together, and they're trying to figure out why aren't they selling, they're having to make less of them, Ford doesn't even make a minivan anymore because they weren't selling.\u00a0 And so what the study said was, frankly, sliding doors are what give minivans open access but that's what makes them uncool.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe sliding door epitomizes the less exciting realities of minivan ownership compared to the proactive vibrant images of go-anywhere SUVs, or crossovers.\u00a0 And this statement really got me \u2013 \"Ultimately, it's a symbol of being stuck in the rut of having a family.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought that was sad.\u00a0 Minivans aren't selling because no one wants to look like they're stuck in the rut of having a family, and I thought once you had a family, you get to have them the rest of your life.\u00a0 I'd like to drive a minivan when I'm a grandparent because as long as it's still with my grandkids, I'm fine with it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so the reason they're not selling is people want to get out of the mother stages.\u00a0 Mothers are thinking, \"Okay, I'll do this mother stage for four or five years, and then I'd like to be done.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Do they want to be out of it just because it's as exhausting as it is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> I think so, but I think it's because our culture says that's not a great stage to be in.\u00a0 That's not any fun.\u00a0 You have to work, you know, it's all about the kids \u2013 it should be about you.\u00a0 And so it creates \u2013 a mother has, then, this feeling of \"Okay, which one do I follow?\u00a0 This instinct that God has given me where it really is about mothering.\u00a0 It's about mothering the rest of my life.\"\u00a0 Mothering is the core issue of who we are once we become a mother.\u00a0 And so it's really about that, and the other all fits into it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhether you're a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, your number-one job is your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It has to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> It has to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If God's given you children, He didn't give those children to a daycare center.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> He gave them to parents who need to raise them.\u00a0 It doesn't mean that we don't need to have babysitters from time to time and help take care of them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what about you?\u00a0 Are there those moments when you've thought about turning in your motherhood badge?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Turn in my minivan?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And your minivan?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> No, because I think it's a choice.\u00a0 I think, as moms, we have to get up every morning and choose to have joy; choose to infuse joy into our children and into our home.\u00a0 You know, that old saying, \"If Mom ain't happy, nobody is happy.\"\u00a0 Well, that is true.\u00a0 We are the lifegivers of our home, and so, yeah, there are moments that I feel like this is so much work.\u00a0 I'm always having to give to someone else and what about me?\u00a0 But I decided I don't want to look back and say, \"Wow, where did the time go?\"\u00a0 I want to enjoy even the hectic moments. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe mothering years are hectic because they are often unplanned.\u00a0 They just come.\u00a0 But they are joyful because every single memory is precious, and you don't want to lose any of them.\u00a0 And, actually, the way our book came out was I have four memory books for my kids where I just write down at the end of the night before I go to bed, I'll pick one up.\u00a0 And if something sweet happened that day or hectic or hard, maybe some conflict between me and one of my kids, I write down the memory so that I'll remember it later. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause I didn't want to look back and only remember the antibiotic pills and the throwing up all over me \u2013 I wanted to remember all the joys of motherhood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> If you could just keep one memory of being a mom \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Yes, if I could just keep one memory?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> One memory \u2013 what memory would you keep and why?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Okay, I am going to tell you a funny one.\u00a0 It's not a serious one.\u00a0 There are a lot of serious memories so, instead, I'm going to go to the funny one that really was the bottom line of why I wanted to write this book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were in the car and, Kurt, my husband, just likes to have fun, so he'll make up a game.\u00a0 So we made up this game where he would ask the kids, \"Okay, who is the funniest?\u00a0 Who is the cutest?\u00a0 Who is the prettiest?\"\u00a0 And one day Kurt said, \"Who is the smartest?\"\u00a0 And the great part was Shawn, our eight-year-old at the time immediately said, \"Mom is.\"\u00a0 I was, like, \"Yeah, all right.\"\u00a0 I mean, \"Good for you.\"\u00a0 And I mean immediately, and I turned to look at Kurt, and he looked hurt.\u00a0 He was, like, \"Oh, my word, why so quickly?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo he turned back to Shawn and said, \"Shawn, you know, I think Mom's smart.\u00a0 That's one of the reasons I married her.\u00a0 I love the fact that she went to school, and she's a teacher, but why did you say she was the smartest so fast?\"\u00a0 and he said right up and said, \"Because she always knows when I have to go to the bathroom.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I just \u2013 I thought, \"You know what?\u00a0 What he's saying to me is it doesn't really matter where Dad went to school.\u00a0 I don't really care that Dad works at Focus on the Family, I don't care that he wrote book, I don't care about Mom's degree, what I care is that you know about my needs.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You've sat with enough young moms, though, who are up to their elbows in diapers and who are exhausted from all of this, and they look at you, and they just say, \"I was not made for this.\u00a0 This isn't me.\u00a0 I don't know what I was thinking, I don't know what I got myself into, I want out.\"\u00a0 And you say, \"Well, you know, suck it up and get tough.\"\u00a0 Is that what you tell them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> It's one of the things I tell them.\u00a0 It's just like I used to have women ask me \"I don't really feel like I want to hug my husband when he walks in the door.\"\u00a0 I said, \"I don't care, you walk over there, you hug him, anyway.\"\u00a0 You know, there is part of doing it, which begins to make you feel it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if you don't feel like doing it, and you get up in the morning, and you get on your knees, and you ask God to help you do it and give you joy in it, in the doing it you will receive joy.\u00a0 And so sometimes it is just all about that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do really recommend, when you have a lot of little children, a lot of times you think, \"Well, you know, I am so exhausted, I'm just going to get up when the first one comes and wakes me up,\" or the baby cries or whatever.\u00a0 And as soon as you feel like you're getting a good night's sleep, I recommend to young moms that they get up a half an hour before their child.\u00a0 Just set your alarm, pull yourself out of bed so you can get on your knees just for a few minutes and say, \"Lord, help me with this day.\"\u00a0 Have a cup of tea, relax, read, don't feel like you have to have this big old Bible study, but read a few Psalms to encourage you, to get you going for the day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut, really, if it's not natural for you, then getting on your knees and asking the Lord to help it be natural and, again, you will get it by giving it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And, honestly, Olivia, in raising children today to do that, it is going to demand enormous self-sacrifice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> It is, it is, mm-hm, exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I think that's what doesn't play well in this culture.\u00a0 We want it to be easy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> We want it to look like a 30-minute show on TV. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> I had a mentor mom who used to say to me, \"When are you going cry, Olivia?\"\u00a0 When I would be so tired, it would be midnight, I'm still doing laundry and getting things ready for the next day.\u00a0 She said, \"You can cry now because you're exhausted, or you can cry when you're 60 because you're looking back and wishing that you would have enjoyed your day and done exactly what you're doing now.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, Olivia, as you were going through that list of all the things moms do, I just remember looking back as a young father with a bed surrounded by children.\u00a0 It was 6:30 or earlier in the morning, and Barbara didn't want to get up, I didn't want to get up.\u00a0 This is all about discipline.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> It is, it's all about laying down your life and making a choice, when you see those little eyes.\u00a0 Are you going to love on them and welcome the day that God has given you, or are you going to resent the fact that you have these children here in front of you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tReally, if you have a job that's outside of the home, and you get up in the morning, and you think, \"Okay, it's time to go to work.\"\u00a0 You get your shower, you get your time together, and then you go, and you get your paycheck.\u00a0 With kids, really, parenting is the only real full-time job.\u00a0 You know, you say, \"I have a full-time job outside of the home.\"\u00a0 No, actually, the only full-time job is parenting because it literally is 24\/7.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> And so you wake up in the morning, and you make that choice and say \"Hey, I feel joyful because of this gift that God has given me.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> So do you get Kurt to write you a paycheck every couple of weeks just to \u2026?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Yes.\u00a0 I tell him all the money is mine, anyway.\u00a0 I'm the one who spends it all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> You know, you write about this being a secret formula.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Share that formula with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Well, when I was a young mom, I was constantly looking at families that were not perfect.\u00a0 I couldn't find any of those; but families that seemed to enjoy each other's company, their kids were older \u2013 older families \u2013 parents with older children.\u00a0 And I would just look and find those families and see what is it about them that makes their family enjoyable?\u00a0 What is it about them that makes their kids enjoy their parents and actually not resent them and rebel and not want to be around them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I did some interviewing, and I sat down with five or six families that I really respected, and I just asked a lot of questions, and they all had different methods of doing things.\u00a0 They all had different methods of spending time with their children or teaching their faith.\u00a0 Some worked outside the home, some worked in the home.\u00a0 It was not the same everywhere.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut there was one secret formula, it was a thread that went through all the families, and that was fun and laughter.\u00a0 They all decided we are going to enjoy these years.\u00a0 We're going to get up, we're going to have fun with our children, we're going to enjoy the day.\u00a0 If there is something that happens, we're going to get past it and have fun the next day.\u00a0 We're not going to take ourselves too seriously, and they all, still, to this day, those families enjoy each other's company as adults.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it's not over.\u00a0 It's not like the mom is done being a mom.\u00a0 She's still a mom.\u00a0 Now she's a grandma and a mom.\u00a0 And so it lasts throughout your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You mention these women you talk to, and you talked about having a mentor mom.\u00a0 How important has that been for you as you've been a mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> It's been huge.\u00a0 It's been an encouragement, it's been a challenge and accountability but, you know, I had to go looking for that.\u00a0 I had to make myself accountable to someone and say, \"Hey, would you help me out in this area and maybe be a bit vulnerable to them?\"\u00a0 And it was a mom who, again, had the same attitude of, you know, we're not going to do this \"I'm going to get through the day as a mother.\"\u00a0 We are going to enjoy your day as a mother and be the very best mom you can be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> How did you pick out the woman you wanted to be your mentor mom?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> You know, it kind of \u2013 God just kind of brought it.\u00a0 It was someone I had prayed for, and the Lord just kind of brought someone along that I got along with, and she got along with me, and we began to spend time together.\u00a0 It wasn't a forced thing at all, it just happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Somebody who is listening who lives out in the country, and there are no moms around.\u00a0 Maybe they've seen a mom at church or somebody, and they think, \"Well, she seems like she's got it together.\"\u00a0 Do you just go up and say, \"Can we have lunch, and can I talk to you?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Certainly, that would work.\u00a0 That's a good start, that's a good start, and you never know who is going to be someone that will be willing to do that, but if you don't step out and try, you're not going to know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And if you don't know a woman like that, ask your pastor of your church \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Yes, that's a great idea.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> \u2026 of your church and say, \"Who would you recommend would be a mom who is a lap or two ahead of me in the race of life who could come alongside me?\"\u00a0 Because, frankly, I think, Olivia, what you have done is one of the smartest things a young mom can do in starting out her family, is to connect with someone who has been there, done that, and can encourage you and continue to build into your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe last chapter in your book is about a loss that you and Kurt endured, and I think, many times, when we come to the subject of motherhood, we think about all the fun and games that are associated.\u00a0 Obviously, there are those times of illness and the tough times and loss of sleep, et cetera, but there are times when our heart feels like it's breaking in half and then is going to break in half again, and it's when we lose a child.\u00a0 You and Kurt lost a boy named Todd.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Yes, we did.\u00a0 I was about 20 weeks pregnant and started having some issues where I was spotting, and so Kurt and I went to have the ultrasound and it's that feeling of dread when the ultrasound tech is not looking at you.\u00a0 She won't say anything to you and really never answered our questions.\u00a0 We knew.\u00a0 We didn't see a heartbeat, but she didn't say anything to us and said, \"Okay, we're done, and now you need to go see your doctor.\"\u00a0 And when we went to see the doctor, the first thing she said is \"I'm sorry for the loss of your baby.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we realized our baby had died, and he was five months along, and so when you're that far along, the doctor explained to us that we would need to deliver this little baby.\u00a0 And so we went into the hospital and delivered a little boy and named him Todd and had a little service for him.\u00a0 But, you know, even that, in my mother time, we had two older boys at the time, and I'll never forget them coming into the hospital.\u00a0 They were sad.\u00a0 This was their brother, and, as a mom, having my own deep sadness at that point, but realizing, as a mom, this is something we can do together.\u00a0 I can do this with my children.\u00a0 We can grieve together and include them in on the process because they needed to grieve with me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a very, very sad time in our life but, again, every point of mothering can help us to point our children to God.\u00a0 And so I took that time \u2013 and our oldest son, actually, that was a time where he had never thought about death before, and he kept coming \u2013 afterwards, he would come in our room at night, every night, and he wanted to talk about God and what is death and soon after that is when he trusted Christ.\u00a0 Because it just got him thinking, \"Anyone can die.\u00a0 A baby can die inside Mommy.\u00a0 It doesn't have to be an older person,\" and it just got him on the subject.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so it was something that was redemptive in our home, and we still \u2013 we named him Todd, and we talk about him, and we look forward to seeing him in heaven.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Hm.\u00a0 You know, what you've talked about today is how motherhood is a calling; how it's a responsibility; and how it's a privilege.\u00a0 And it's a calling to fulfill a responsibility to embrace and then a privilege to be enjoyed.\u00a0 And I just appreciate you being willing to not only share about the good times but as you've just shared the loss of a son, and how, even in that, there is a privilege in giving life to a little boy who, even though you didn't get a chance to enjoy him, you did enter into something that God intended for your family that ultimately resulted in one of your children coming to faith in Christ.\u00a0 And that's really what motherhood is all about \u2013 is the full gamut of emotions, but it's faithfully fulfilling what God has called you to do \u2013 being responsible and then just enjoying them.\u00a0 You know, just picking them up and gathering them into your lap and hugging and kissing them even in the midst of the toughness of life and thank God for the privilege of partnering with Him to raise the next generation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And if what you're doing is hard, and you're tired, and you don't like it some days, just remember the words of Olivia and suck it up, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Amen, and don't listen to the culture who tells you you're not doing anything important, because you are doing the most important job that you could ever do, and it is the one that when you're 50 and looking back and 60 and looking back, that you will think that meant something, that meant something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> No doubt about it, there is no higher calling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Olivia:<\/strong> Mm-hm, amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Than being a mother or, for that matter, a father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> And, of course, this Sunday is Mother's Day and not Father's Day so we'll focus on the moms as we have today and let me encourage our listeners, if you know a mom who is in what we've talked about today as the minivan years, you might want to get them a copy of the book that Olivia has written called \"The Minivan Years,\" that really focuses in on how you have fun in this season of life and how you do make it a priority and how important that is not just for your family today but for your family into the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe've got copies of the book in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You will find information there about Olivia's book, \"The Minivan Years,\" and you'll find information there about a resource that Olivia created along with her husband, Kurt, that is called \"Just Add Family.\"\u00a0 And this is a collection of ready-to-do fun activities for you, as a family.\u00a0 Activities that have a purpose, activities that get you engaged in spiritual conversation and help you teach spiritual principles.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is more information about the \"Just Add Family\" resource on our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0\u00a0 You can also call for more information or to order a copy of either Olivia's book or the \"Just Add Family\" resource \u2013 call 1-800-FLTODAY, that's 1-800-358-6329, 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 Or, again, go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and have either or both of these resources sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, as we wrap things up here today, let me remind you of what Dennis mentioned at the beginning of today's program.\u00a0 We have had some friends of the ministry step forward in the last several weeks with a very generous offer.\u00a0 They have agreed that they will match every donation that we receive during the month of May on a dollar-for-dollar basis up to a total of $356,000 and, as Dennis said, this is a particularly important time for this matching gift to be available to us because so far this year we are about $1 million down from where we were at the same time last year in donations.\u00a0 And we've had to respond to that by making some adjustments in our staff, by reducing salaries and doing the same things a lot of people are having to do to tighten our budget.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we are hoping to take full advantage of this matching gift opportunity, and we are hoping we can hear from you this month.\u00a0 If you can make a donation of any amount, your donation is going to be doubled, and you'll be making it possible for us to take full advantage of this special matching gift.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can donate by calling 1-800-358-6329, that's 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY, and we just want to say thanks in advance for standing with us and for supporting the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership and your financial support.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow we are going to hear from a panel of women who got together recently to talk about being a woman, motherhood, pursuing a relationship with God, loving your husband well.\u00a0 Barbara Rainey was a part of that panel along with Karen Loritts and Mary Cassian, Carolyn McCully, and Holly Elliff.\u00a0 And I hope you can tune in tomorrow as we hear them interact.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas \u2013 help for today; hope for tomorrow.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights 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