{"id":301783,"date":"2009-03-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2009-03-13T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/ten-ways-to-be-a-better-mother\/"},"modified":"2009-03-13T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2009-03-13T15:00:00","slug":"ten-ways-to-be-a-better-mother","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/ten-ways-to-be-a-better-mother\/","title":{"rendered":"Ten Ways to be a Better Mother"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Today Karen Loritts, a wife and mother of four grown children, shares ten practical ways to be a better mother.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Today Karen Loritts, a wife and mother of four grown children, shares ten practical ways to be a better mother.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-03-13.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"10.06M","filesize_raw":"10547166","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838],"tags":[5048,4618],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[8802],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-301783","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","tag-motherhood","tag-raising-kids","cwp_profile-karen-loritts","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/301783\/ten-ways-to-be-a-better-mother","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/301783\/ten-ways-to-be-a-better-mother","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"PErL3WKWGy\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/ten-ways-to-be-a-better-mother\/\">Ten Ways to be a Better Mother<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/ten-ways-to-be-a-better-mother\/embed\/#?secret=PErL3WKWGy\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Ten Ways to be a Better Mother&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"PErL3WKWGy\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Today Karen Loritts, a wife and mother of four grown children, shares ten practical ways to be a better mother.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2009-03-13.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong> [from audiotape.]\u00a0\u00a0 One time that I came home, and Crawford was in the living room.\u00a0 He was on one sofa, and she was on the other sofa, and she was crying her eyes out.\u00a0 He was, like, \"What do I do next?\" you know, and I said, \"What's the problem?\"\u00a0 He was telling me, \"Well, Heather says she doesn't have any clothes,\" you know?\u00a0 And I'm saying, \"Uh-uh.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I quickly put my groceries down, and, you know, I said, \"Heather, go get all your junk.\u00a0 Empty your closets and your drawers and bring them up here, and let's show Daddy what you don't have.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> This is FamilyLife Today for Friday, March 13th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 If you're a mom, and you want your family to survive, to even thrive, then your husband and your children need you to be at the top of your game.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 Dennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Bob, I am so pumped about today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yeah?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> I really am.\u00a0 You know why?\u00a0 We are going to come alongside some of the heroes of America today \u2013 moms.\u00a0 And I want moms to look at their radios very carefully \u2013 however you're listening, whether it's on a computer, in your car, as you're running errands or if you're at home, if you're just listening, watch carefully as a giant encouragement arm is going to come through the radio, and it's going to wrap that arm around you and give you some great encouragement today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yeah, we have got a classic message from our friend, Karen Loritts.\u00a0 Karen is the wife of Dr. Crawford Loritts, who is the pastor of Fellowship Bible Church in Roswell, Georgia, just outside of Atlanta.\u00a0 Karen and Crawford have spoken at FamilyLife Weekend to Remember Marriage Conferences for many years.\u00a0 They are the parents of four children, and this is a message from Karen designed to provide a little coaching, a little mentoring, and, as you said, a whole lot of encouragement for moms who are raising the next generation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> That's right, Bob, and the good thing about this is Karen is speaking to a live audience, and she is going to give 10 practical tips that are just going to be huge takeaways for every mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Yeah, in fact, Crawford introduced Karen in this message by saying, \"She is raising our kids on her knees with the Bible in their ears, and then if they need a rod\" \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> And I can believe that.\u00a0 If you know Karen, she's feisty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Karen begins this message by talking about the four things she wants to make sure she gives her children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Besides a spanking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> That's right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Karen:<\/strong>\u00a0 [from audiotape.]\u00a0 I want to make sure that I give my children a mirror, that I am a mirror to my kids; that when they look into my face, they see the me reflecting what God is in my life.\u00a0 I also want to be a model.\u00a0 Another thing I want to give my children \u2013 motivation to go on.\u00a0 Our kids need to be pumped up, motivated, by their parents and also I need to give them a mission in life.\u00a0 I'm going to give my kids a mission in life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut let me just give you about nine or 10 things that I think that would help us to turn the tide, because I believe, unfortunately, women, we can either make or break it.\u00a0 We were the cause of some civilizations going down the tubes because we did not do what God has called us to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe first thing is God needs to hear from us regularly.\u00a0 He needs for us to be effective mothers is that we need to love God and love Him with a passion.\u00a0 That means spending time with Him, being that godly role model that our children see us praying, listening to us talk about the good things of the Lord.\u00a0 To be a good mom, you have to start with God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe second thing is, you've got to love your husband.\u00a0 If you're married, you've got to love that man \u2013 just not say it.\u00a0 Just not say it, but you have to show it.\u00a0 We have to respect these men, and respect is not something that you earn.\u00a0 Respect is something that you give.\u00a0 And, let me tell you, when you look in Ephesians, it talks about \u2013 tells the men to love their wives as Christ loved the church but, ladies, if you look further down, it tells us to respect.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhether I understand it or not, it's just right, so we have to respect them, and I have to voluntarily do that.\u00a0 And also loving him means I have to submit to him.\u00a0 If you want him to be all that God wants him to be \u2013 this is heavy \u2013 because God has called your man to be the man of that house.\u00a0 And the only way he can be the man of this house is if you give him the freedom to do that.\u00a0 And one of the vehicles that we give him the freedom to do that, guess what, is that magic word called \"submission.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe third thing about being an effective mom is that you have to make your home a priority.\u00a0 Your home has got to be a place to come in from this dark and dreary world.\u00a0 Is your home a haven or is it a hall of horrors?\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 Our responsibility as the nurturers is that our people and our family, our children, our husbands, have got to come to a place that's a haven and is not a hall of horror.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA fourth area is that \u2013 to be an effective mom, is that we give respect to our children.\u00a0 Respect involves consideration and acceptance and encouragement.\u00a0 You know, that's a big one, because we want our kids to respect us but do we respect our kids?\u00a0 Out of all of our four kids, the child that probably rubs me the wrong way all the time who is not like me \u2013 because usually I'm the type of person when I say something, you just be quiet and you listen and you pay attention and you just obey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, Brendan is not that way.\u00a0 He is a very aggressive, stressful child.\u00a0 You know, he's a unh, unh, unh all day long, and I had just to \u2013 you know, you have that child that you just don't get along with?\u00a0 Well, Brendan is that child.\u00a0 But he is my most compassionate child.\u00a0 He is my child that will come and hug me \u2013 because he's taller than I am \u2013 and patting me, you know, and kissing me and telling me, \"You know, Mom, you're such a good cook,\" or \"You look nice.\"\u00a0 He's a real sweet child, but yet he has this personality that is completely different from me, and I believe God has given me Brendan to help me learn how to be more understanding, how to be patient, and how to give respect to him, because he demands it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA fifth thing about being an effective mom is communication \u2013 not only talking but being a listener.\u00a0 You know, sometimes, as a mom, it's hard for me to be a good listener, because I'm the mom.\u00a0 You know, I'm the adult.\u00a0 But I have to know how to verbalize our goals \u2013 \"These are the things that are required of you in our family.\u00a0 You represent the Loritts home, and these are things that you are required to do.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen also listening to them \u2013 there are things \u2013 like, Brendan \u2013 one day he went out of the house.\u00a0 He had these sweatpants on, and one leg was all the way up, and one was all the way down, and he going to school looking like that.\u00a0 Well, I had to decide \u2013 were we going to have a battle over something that, to me, was a major deal, but to him, you know, this is the way that everybody dresses.\u00a0 So I had to pick my battles, waste my energy, doing that I could lose the whole thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe sixth thing to be an effective mom, we have to teach life principles to our children.\u00a0 I've jotted down a couple of things that have been really helpful to me, as a mom.\u00a0 Some things that we really work on with our kids is that we teach them to have integrity and self-confidence; to teach them that you have to be a person of your word.\u00a0 If you said you're going to do something, then you do it, even with your friends.\u00a0 We teach them to have goals in life, and that is true.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEvery August, the weekend before they go back to school, is they sit down, they have to write out their goals, measurable goals, measurable goals.\u00a0 You know why that is?\u00a0 Because when they get out of high school whether they go onto college, a secondary education, or go into the army or just into the workforce, they have to have a goal.\u00a0 That does something for them on the inside \u2013 help them to achieve their goals.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp them to have a spirit of independence.\u00a0 Not against anything but towards God \u2013 help them to become independently dependent upon God themselves and not dependent upon you.\u00a0 Show them how to walk with God, show them what it means to read the Bible for themselves, to dig the things out at an early age and then, sometimes in the teen years, you have to make them read the Bible.\u00a0 I require Heather to read certain portions of Scripture.\u00a0 She has to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShow them how to handle money.\u00a0 When the money is gone, the money is gone.\u00a0 You know, kids think money grows on trees, don't they?\u00a0 You know, Brendan would say, \"Well, let's go down to the tilly,\" that's the ATM, you know, \"Let's go down to that machine or just write a check.\"\u00a0 Like a check is on a piece of paper \u2013 you just put your name on the piece of paper, and you can get anything you want.\u00a0 I tell him it's not that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so what we do is that when we give them an allowance, we say, \"Well, this is your allowance.\u00a0 When the money is gone, you made your decision, it's gone.\"\u00a0 But it's helping them to see that \u2013 first of all, money doesn't grow on trees; that you have to be a responsible, good steward of your money, and that God will help you to be faithful in what he gives you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso, teach your children, when you talk about life principles, is that teach them academic excellence.\u00a0 We stay in the faces of our teachers at the school.\u00a0 We are card-carrying PTA members.\u00a0 We are there to support the school, the people know that we're there, we love them, we support them but also let them know that this is the direction our children are going, so these are our expectations.\u00a0 Can you help us?\u00a0 And if you can't help us, point us to the teacher, the principal, that can help us.\u00a0 And there have been several times \u2013 even when Brian was \u2013 I'll never forget this \u2013 even when Brian was a junior in high school, the counselor said, \"Oh, he doesn't need to take this course.\u00a0 Let me wait to take that.\"\u00a0 I say \"No, we've already got the whole curriculum for the state of Georgia.\u00a0 We know what every child from kindergarten through 12th grade is supposed to know, and at this grade, this is what college prep students are supposed to know, and can you help me?\"\u00a0 And if you can't help me, I went to the next level.\u00a0 I'll give the teachers the first shot.\u00a0 If the teachers can't help me, then I got to the principal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I have a relationship with the principals, they call my home any old time.\u00a0 I mean, one time Brian tried to get out of an advanced placement class, and they already knew, \"Oh, Brian, you can't change this class.\u00a0 We've got to call your mother.\"\u00a0 Since I wasn't home, they found Crawford at his job and called him to make sure that he couldn't change his course selection because he knew that we held that school accountable to us, because we had been there, you know, helping the teachers and the counselors, map out where they're going in life, so that when they come to their senior year, they're short credit hours.\u00a0 That's a horror for your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAre you holding your kids' feet to the fire concerning academic excellence?\u00a0 And also we have to teach them to live in an understanding way.\u00a0 You have to get the girls to know what the guys are about and the guys to know what the girls are all about and help even your dad.\u00a0 There is a magical line, I don't know what age it is, but there is a magical time whereas before it could be just the mothers and the sons are so bonded together, and then the girls and the dads.\u00a0 Daddy's little girl, but there is a magic time, but sometimes now when the dads have to come over and help the mom.\u00a0 You've got to jack them up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of these boys are \u2013 it could be age 12, it could be age 13, but there is a magical time that we have to back off women and let the men \u2013 if you have a husband, let the men [inaudible] these boys, because otherwise some of you can identify with this \u2013 we may marry some of these spoiled mama's boys.\u00a0 And then women \u2013 sometimes we have to rescue these crybaby girls from these guys because these men will be able to give them everything.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI can remember that one time that I came home, and I went food shopping.\u00a0 I had just been gone for 45 minutes to an hour.\u00a0 It was just a quick to the store, and I came back, and Crawford was in the living room.\u00a0 He was on one sofa, and she was on the other sofa, and she was crying her eyes out \u2013 this was last year, she was in high school.\u00a0 And he was, like, oh, like a whoopee dog, you know, he was, like, out.\u00a0 He was, like, \"What do I do next?\"\u00a0 You know, and I said, \"What's the problem?\"\u00a0 He was telling me, \"Well, Heather says she doesn't have any clothes,\" you know?\u00a0 And I'm saying, \"Uh-uh.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I put my groceries down and, you know, I said, \"Heather, go get all your junk.\u00a0 Empty your closets and your drawers and bring them up here, and let's show Daddy what you don't have.\"\u00a0 Because he was about to give her some money that we didn't have, and she's \u2013 I made her bring all of her junk.\u00a0 Now, she had a lot of stuff \u2013 piles and mountains of clothes she didn't have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd I'll never forget what Crawford said, you know, after I straightened that all out.\u00a0 He said, \"Just thank you for rescuing me.\"\u00a0 We, sometimes, women, and Dad's got to listen to this \u2013 you let your wife rescue you from these manipulating little girls.\u00a0 There is a magical age, I don't know what age it is, but you've got to step in and help them and say, \"Girl, listen, if you start manipulating now, that's the manipulating spirit that was conceived in the Garden of Eden, and it hasn't stopped yet.\"\u00a0 And sometimes we've got to rescue these daddies from these girls.\u00a0 And they start young, and you listening to us now, you listen to us, because we're telling you as another woman, another female, what the deal really is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe seventh thing is good mommies are doing just \u2013 we just learn how to do right.\u00a0 And doing right, as it says in James, chapter 4, verse 17, is that doing right is that we have to live in fellowship with our children, we've got to live in fellowship with them, live in peace with them.\u00a0 Do you understand what I mean?\u00a0 Sometimes we'll have these power plays with our kids, and we're losing these children.\u00a0 We haven't asked God about that, we haven't started to live in peace, we're just stressing these children out, and the only way they get relief is that because they want to be out there with their friends, because every time they come home, is that you're like a monkey on their back.\u00a0 You've got to live in peace, we have to live in fellowship.\u00a0 We have to live in an environment of forgiveness and reconciliation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, our kids will say things to us that they really don't mean, but in the heat of the argument and the time, they think we don't understand.\u00a0 We have to give forgiveness back and then reconcile together.\u00a0 It takes a lot of work on both parts.\u00a0 If God, who is living inside of me, He wants me to live in peace, He wants me to love and to forgive, then I have to be a type of a person that is doing that with my child, especially my daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd so I made a commitment to being a friend.\u00a0 The eighth thing is to be a friend, to be a friend to your child.\u00a0 I want to be a friend to Heather, and Heather is my good friend. You know, we'll have little secrets, and she knows that \u2013 she comes to me, and we'll have a spirit of confidentiality, and I'm a friend to her, even though I'm still the parent.\u00a0 You know, Heather and I go knock, knock, knock together, but then we're still friends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe thing about a friend is that you have to learn how to relax with them, and you have to learn how to release them.\u00a0 The hardest thing I had to do was when Brian went away to college is that I had to release him, and I really saw that when he came back for his first Christmas holiday, you know, he's a young man, and I have released him to the care of God.\u00a0 And if we are raising them with the Bible in our hands and on our knees, that if they mess up, they messed up because they messed up.\u00a0 And if they're going to fool around, somebody go out there and mess up their lives, they messed up their lives knowingly, and I'm not going to feel guilty about it.\u00a0 If you ever hear that my kids messed up, don't come and say, \"She was a bad mother,\" or \"He was a bad father,\" because he was not a bad father and I was not a bad mother.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod says that you have to release them back to God.\u00a0 They are God's gifts.\u00a0 God just gave them for a little bit of time.\u00a0 The nice thing is, to be an effective mom is that you have to win their world for Christ.\u00a0 Not like teach them how to win others for Christ, but win their world, not take them out of the world, but win their world, whether [inaudible], they'll hear the Gospel, they'll see the Scriptures and things like that, and then we will worship together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd the last thing is that to be an effective mom, you've got to be wise, and wisdom only comes from God.\u00a0 You've got to search the Scriptures, you've got to be on your knees.\u00a0 Sometimes nothing will work.\u00a0 I don't care how many books you read, I don't care how many sermons and manuals you collect, the only thing sometimes that is going to turn these kids around is through prayer, and the only one that can do that is Jesus.\u00a0 The only way we're going to turn this tide is that we have to be all the things that God has called us to do as mothers to save this lost and perverse generation that we're living in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, that is as good a quick, concise summary of a mom's responsibility as I think you'll ever hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Good job description.\u00a0 I want to go back to her second point, very early in her message.\u00a0 You need to love your husband and, ladies \u2026\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> Is there a reason you're picking that one?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Well, it's not self-interest, at least not for me, but it is for the husbands of the wives who are now listening, and the moms who have now soaked this into their hearts.\u00a0 Do you know what I want to encourage you to do?\u00a0 I want you to call and find out where the closest Weekend to Remember is near you, and I want you to love on your husband, and you know what?\u00a0 I have a feeling you're going to get loved on in return by taking a weekend away from the children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, this almost sounds counter-intuitive, Bob, to get away from the kids so you can be a better parent, but, I promise you \u2013 and if I'm not right, we'll give you your registration back on the conference.\u00a0 Whatever it cost you, registration-wise, to attend, we'll give you that money back if it was not a great investment in your children and in your family and also in your marriage.\u00a0 I'm telling you, this is a rugged culture financially, it's a rugged culture in terms of morals, spiritually it's challenging.\u00a0 We need to do everything we can do to make our marriages solid so we can be better parents.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> You know, I'm going to be speaking at a Weekend to Remember in two weeks up in Rhode Island \u2013 Newport, Rhode Island.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Come and hear Bob.\u00a0 What a romantic idea, huh?\u00a0 There you have it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[laughter] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong> We also have four conferences kicking off tonight.\u00a0 We've got a conference in Colorado Springs, one in Kansas City, one in Omaha, one in the Washington, D.C. area.\u00a0 Next weekend, conferences in Anchorage and Baltimore; Chicago; Des Moines; Kansas City; Nashua, New Hampshire; Roanoke, Virginia; Tulsa \u2013 so a lot of conferences going on this spring, and then dozens of conferences into April and May.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you'd like more information about how to attend a Weekend to Remember when it comes to a city near where you live, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and the information you need is available there.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, and someone on our team can answer any questions you have about the conference or let you know when a conference is coming.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, 1-800-FLTODAY is the toll-free number or go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 And, by the way, on our website, we have listed some classic books to help moms be the kind of mom that Karen was talking about in the message today.\u00a0 We've got Jean Fleming's classic book, \"A Mother's Heart,\" and I know this is a book that Barbara found very helpful as she was raising your six children.\u00a0 We also had Ted Tripp's \"Shepherding a Child's Heart.\"\u00a0 Other resources designed to equip you as a parent to do the job that God has called you to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tInformation is available online, FamilyLifeToday.com, or call 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY and, again, someone on our team can let you know how you can get the resources you need sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen you've also heard us mention this week the upcoming Bible Bee, the qualifying rounds for the National Bible Bee are going to be taking place in September, and registration is currently open.\u00a0 If you would like your elementary age, junior high, or high school student to be a part of the competition with over $250,000 in cash prizes being made available to the winners, get the information about the upcoming National Bible Bee at the FamilyLife Today website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 There is a link there, and you can register online and begin to make plans to have your son or daughter compete in the 2009 National Bible Bee.\u00a0 Again, all the information is at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, four weeks from this weekend will be Easter weekend, a time when we reflect on what is the heart of our message, as Christians.\u00a0 Jesus demonstrating that He is, in fact, God by going to the cross to suffer and die on our behalf and then conquering death.\u00a0 That's what the message of Easter is all about. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis year, in preparation for Easter, we would like to send you a copy of the \"The Jesus Film\" on DVD.\u00a0 This is the most viewed motion picture of all time \u2013 an accurate recounting of the life and the ministry of Jesus along with His death, burial, and resurrection, and there are a couple of things about this DVD that make it very special.\u00a0 First, the audio track is available not only in English but in Spanish, German, Arabic, Vietnamese, and Tagalog.\u00a0 This is something that you can pass along to someone who might not be a native English speaker, and they can view the movie in their own language.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn addition to that, there is, on the same DVD, the story of Jesus for children.\u00a0 It tells the story of the life of Jesus through the eyes of a child.\u00a0 It's perfect for elementary age and younger children, and the DVD is our gift to you this month when you make a donation of any amount for the support of the ministry of FamilyLife Today.\u00a0 Because we are listener-supported, we depend on your financial contributions to continue this ministry, and because of the challenging financial times in which we find ourselves, your donations now are more important than ever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if you are able to help with a donation this month, please feel free to request \"The Jesus Film\" on DVD.\u00a0 As you make your donation online, type into the keycode box on the donation form, \"JesusDVD,\" and we'll know to send a copy of it to you.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, that's 1-800-358-6329, 1-800-F-as-in-family, L-as-in-life, and then the word TODAY.\u00a0 You can make a donation over the phone and simply ask for a copy of \"The Jesus Film\" or the DVD, and we'll be happy to send it to you as our way of saying thank you for your partnership with us and your financial support of this ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 I hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and we hope you can join us back on Monday when we're going to talk to a mom who found herself in the very difficult and unenviable position of being a single-parent mom when her husband decided he was done with being a dad and a husband.\u00a0 We'll hear from Jill Rigby about the challenges she faced as a new single-parent mom, and I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll see you back Monday for another edition of FamilyLife Today. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFamilyLife Today is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas \u2013 help for today; hope for tomorrow. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to transcribe, create, and produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/site\/c.dnJHKLNnFoG\/b.3782043\/k.384D\/Support_Us.htm\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 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